Post by RT on Jul 2, 2019 16:10:43 GMT
WHO WILL BE THE 2019 FAN FICTION DRAFT CHAMPION?
PI
PI
Wife & 🤯 proudly present...
The tale of “The Little Promotion That Could”...
A rag-tag gaggle of grapplers, battling in a bingo hall packed to the rafters with rabid fans...
All embodying the do-or-die *BUT* never-say-die esprit de corps of the Extreme and Hardcore...
Who’ve fought against improbable odds all the way to the bitter end...
Where they’ll finally face their fate against a seemingly unstoppable juggernaut.
It’s 🤯 vs. KING KID in a fight for the ages, no gifs needed (-_-)... ONE LAST TIME!
LET’S GET IT ON!
ECW: DIA de los MUERTOS (a.k.a. ECW: DAY of the DEAD)... RESULTS!
1.) TV Title Contenders: Tajiri def. Big Show via pinfall
Tajiri blinds Show with red mist right out of the gate, then spends the rest of the match chopping the giant down to size with stiff kicks to the legs. Tajiri finishes off his kneeling foe with three consecutive, concussive Buzzsaw Kicks to Show's big bald dome.
2.) Mask vs. Makeup Match: Borne Again def. The Hurricane via submission
Borne forces Hurricane to submit with the Stump Puller. After the match, Hurricane removes his mask and hands it over to a gleeful Borne before sulking off to the back. Borne remains in the ring, produces an over-sized zippo lighter from his overcoat pocket, and then sets Hurricane's mask on fire.
3.) Dog Collar Match: "Pit Bull" Jamie Noble def. "Junkyard Mutt" Jimmy Wayne Yang via submission
Of course it doesn't dawn on me until after the fact that I should've billed this as a "Dogfight". Oh well, fuck it. Anyway... Jamie wraps the chain connecting the dog collars around Jimmy's neck for a chain-assisted camel clutch to force the submission. Jamie leaves the ring with his tail wagging happily behind him; Jimmy leaves with his tucked between his legs in shame.
After everything they've been through, who knows what's next for the former Trailer Park Boys?
4.) ECW Women's Title Contenders: "Rowdy" Ronda Rousey def. "Miss" Molly Holly via disqualification
Ronda traps Molly in an arm bar and is on the verge of forcing the submission when "Mister" Bob Backlund runs in and attacks the Rowdy One, revealing himself as a moral hypocrite by laying hands on a delicate lady.
But Ronda's anything but delicate. She quickly rallies after the match and clears Bob and Molly from the ring all by herself while her Lion's Den mentor, Ken Shamrock, rushes out to back her up. Ken postures and positions himself at ringside so as to deter Bob and Molly from reentering the ring. Bob and Molly get the message loud and clear and retreat to the back.
Back in the ring, Ronda is pissed: she wanted a clean, decisive victory here to “rightfully” earn her title shot. Ken tries to calm Ronda down, and he advises her against looking a gift horse in the mouth; but, by this point, we all know how well the hotheaded Rowdy One listens to Ken's advice.
5.) ECW TV Title: "Mister" Bob Backlund def. Rhino (c) via disqualification
In an impressive display of technical ability and surprising agility for a man his age, Backlund counters a gore into a flash small package for what would've surely been a title-winning three-count... had it not been for a still-seething, revenge-seeking Ronda Rousey rushing the ring and pouncing on Bob to exact payback for his interference in her match.
Ronda slaps an arm bar on Bob and has him squirming and squealing like a pig in pain until "Miss" Molly Holly comes to his rescue. But Rhino, annoyed by all these shenanigans, grabs Molly and piledrives her. FUCK YOU, LADY!
In a post-match promo, the crazed Backlund boasts about his "victory via technicality" over the Manbeast (a win by DQ is still a win after all) and declares himself de facto champion. In fact, tearing a page out of FTW Champion Taz's playbook, Bob declares himself an FTW Champion as well. Bob explains "FTW" stands for "For The Win" (clearly not realizing that Taz's "FTW" stands for something else... something a little less moral) since he's a winner, and he announces that he's already commissioned the creation of a new title belt.
NOTE: In direct response to the back-to-back disqualification finishes, the diabolical booker-man makes an ad hoc announcement that the rest of the evening's matches will be contested under "No DQ" rules. He also decrees that any further outside interference will be punished by indefinite suspension. Oh snap!
6.) Flaming Tables Match for the ECW Tag Team Title: The Last of the Lost Dudley Boys ("Big" Balls Mahoney-Dudley & La Parka Dudley) def. The Hardy Boyz (Matt & Jeff) (c)
After recently learning how fucking reckless Mexican wrestlers can be, and having long known how nuts Jeff Hardy is, here's a reasonable finishing sequence for this match:
La Parka superplexes Jeff from the top rope through two stacked flaming tables on the outside. Since the tables weren't set up in the ring though, this doesn't trigger a victory. However, it does effectively render Jeff and Park dead. Matt and Balls continue to duke it out inside the ring, where another table is set up and on fire. Balls lights a chair on fire too (because WHY NOT!?) and knocks Matt out cold with a flaming chair shot to the head while he's perched on the top turnbuckle. Balls then puts Matt through the flaming table in the ring with a Nutcracker Suite from the second rope.
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Ladies and germs, your *NEW* ECW Tag Team Champions... The Chair Swingin' Chair, errr-- the Flaming Table Breakin' Last of the Lost Dudley Boys... "Big" Balls Mahoney-Dudley & La Parka Dudley!
7.) Last Woman Standing Match for the vacant ECW Women's Title: Awesome Kong def. Jazz
Jazz pulls a stone cold face turn by refusing to stay down no matter what Kong throws at her. But Jazz's battered body ultimately gives out on her in the end, and she collapses and is unable to answer the final ten-count after eating an Awesome Bomb off the top rope. Jazz puts up a hell of a fight though en route to defeat, as Kong is only just barely able to answer the same ten-count herself.
In a surprising display of good sports(wo)manship, Kong helps Jazz up after the match and shakes her hand. The fans give Jazz a standing ovation, which she acknowledges with the slightest nod as she limps her way to the back under her own power.
Ladies and germs, your *NEW* ECW Women's Champion... AWESOME KONG!!!
8.) Cache of Cash Ladder Match: Rob Van Dam def. Sabu
RVD springboards from the apron into the ring, landing on Sabu's back while Sabu is on the ladder, and reaches over Sabu to be the first one to grab the suspended briefcase containing the Cache of Cash contract.
After the match, while they're both still perched atop of the ladder, Sabu gets some small measure of immediate payback by sending RVD crashing to the canvas with a sunset flip powerbomb.
EC-DUB! EC-DUB! EC-DUB!
9.) Lion's Den Match: FTW Champion Taz fights Ken Shamrock to a draw
This fight features suplexes and submissions galore! In the final stretch, Ken catches Taz in a standing guillotine choke. Taz resists the urge to fade to black as he struggles to free himself from Ken's clutches. Taz repeatedly smashes Ken back-first against the cage wall in an attempt to break Ken's grip, but Ken hangs onto the choke hold like a pit bull with a cat in its mouth.
Fading fast and growing increasingly desperate, Taz suddenly bridges to hit the most beautiful Northern Lights Suplex ever seen. The impact KOs Ken, and he releases the choke hold. But Taz's bridge collapses on impact, as he had apparently passed out mid-suplex while still in the choke hold. Not sure what else to do with the two fighters out cold in a heap at his feet, the ref calls for the bell and rules the fight a draw.
Despite the draw, the fans are not disappointed with the hard-fought fight nor the finish. In fact, they're in a rabid frenzy and clearly craving more.
Rabid Frenzied Fans: FIGHT FOREVER!!! *CLAP, CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
10.) Kurt Angle def. Bret Hart via “submission”
This match is every bit the dream we've all ever dreamt it would be. A technical wrestling masterpiece. In the end, Bret has Kurt down and goes to apply the Sharpshooter... but Kurt counters mid-application into an ankle lock! Bret starts crawling toward the ropes, reaches out, and... then the bell rings to signal Bret's submission.
Huh? Bret is confused. Angle is confused. The fans are confused. But then Bret looks over and sees Vince McMahon at the timekeeper's table. NOOO! NOT AGAIN! Wearing a devilish smirk from ear to ear, Vince flips Bret the double bird. Screwed ya twice, Hitman! Bret instantly loses his shit and bolts from the ring to give chase to Vince. Meanwhile, Kurt --happy with a victory, and at peace with how he came by it-- celebrates in the ring as if he just won another Olympic gold medal.
BULLLLLL-SHIT... BULLLLLL-SHIT... (and also) YOU SUCK!!!
11.) ECW World Title: Chris Benoit (c) def. Eddie Guerrero via pinfall
This is essentially just a live highlight reel of all the best stuff from every Benoit/Eddie match ever. This match starts out in a pretty sportsmanlike manner, as Eddie is motivated to simply out-wrestle Benoit to prove that he's in fact the better wrestler. But Benoit has an answer for everything Eddie throws at him, which causes Eddie to grows increasingly frustrated as the match wears on.
As Eddie's frustration mounts, his Latino Heat gets the better of him and he resorts to more lying, cheating, and stealing. Taking advantage of the diabolical booker-man's no-diqualification declaration earlier in the evening, Eddie brings the title belt into the ring and goes to clock the champ with it... but Benoit ducks, wraps Eddie up from behind, and starts unleashing the Germans. Making his match against Austin in Edmonton look like some amateur hour warm-up, Benoit hits 19 rolling German suplexes in a row before bridging on the 20th to pin a rag-dolled Eddie for the 3-count to retain the world title.
Ladies and germs, your winner... and *STILL* ECW World Champion: CHRIS BENOIT!
1.) TV Title Contenders: Tajiri def. Big Show via pinfall
Tajiri blinds Show with red mist right out of the gate, then spends the rest of the match chopping the giant down to size with stiff kicks to the legs. Tajiri finishes off his kneeling foe with three consecutive, concussive Buzzsaw Kicks to Show's big bald dome.
2.) Mask vs. Makeup Match: Borne Again def. The Hurricane via submission
Borne forces Hurricane to submit with the Stump Puller. After the match, Hurricane removes his mask and hands it over to a gleeful Borne before sulking off to the back. Borne remains in the ring, produces an over-sized zippo lighter from his overcoat pocket, and then sets Hurricane's mask on fire.
3.) Dog Collar Match: "Pit Bull" Jamie Noble def. "Junkyard Mutt" Jimmy Wayne Yang via submission
Of course it doesn't dawn on me until after the fact that I should've billed this as a "Dogfight". Oh well, fuck it. Anyway... Jamie wraps the chain connecting the dog collars around Jimmy's neck for a chain-assisted camel clutch to force the submission. Jamie leaves the ring with his tail wagging happily behind him; Jimmy leaves with his tucked between his legs in shame.
After everything they've been through, who knows what's next for the former Trailer Park Boys?
4.) ECW Women's Title Contenders: "Rowdy" Ronda Rousey def. "Miss" Molly Holly via disqualification
Ronda traps Molly in an arm bar and is on the verge of forcing the submission when "Mister" Bob Backlund runs in and attacks the Rowdy One, revealing himself as a moral hypocrite by laying hands on a delicate lady.
But Ronda's anything but delicate. She quickly rallies after the match and clears Bob and Molly from the ring all by herself while her Lion's Den mentor, Ken Shamrock, rushes out to back her up. Ken postures and positions himself at ringside so as to deter Bob and Molly from reentering the ring. Bob and Molly get the message loud and clear and retreat to the back.
Back in the ring, Ronda is pissed: she wanted a clean, decisive victory here to “rightfully” earn her title shot. Ken tries to calm Ronda down, and he advises her against looking a gift horse in the mouth; but, by this point, we all know how well the hotheaded Rowdy One listens to Ken's advice.
5.) ECW TV Title: "Mister" Bob Backlund def. Rhino (c) via disqualification
In an impressive display of technical ability and surprising agility for a man his age, Backlund counters a gore into a flash small package for what would've surely been a title-winning three-count... had it not been for a still-seething, revenge-seeking Ronda Rousey rushing the ring and pouncing on Bob to exact payback for his interference in her match.
Ronda slaps an arm bar on Bob and has him squirming and squealing like a pig in pain until "Miss" Molly Holly comes to his rescue. But Rhino, annoyed by all these shenanigans, grabs Molly and piledrives her. FUCK YOU, LADY!
In a post-match promo, the crazed Backlund boasts about his "victory via technicality" over the Manbeast (a win by DQ is still a win after all) and declares himself de facto champion. In fact, tearing a page out of FTW Champion Taz's playbook, Bob declares himself an FTW Champion as well. Bob explains "FTW" stands for "For The Win" (clearly not realizing that Taz's "FTW" stands for something else... something a little less moral) since he's a winner, and he announces that he's already commissioned the creation of a new title belt.
NOTE: In direct response to the back-to-back disqualification finishes, the diabolical booker-man makes an ad hoc announcement that the rest of the evening's matches will be contested under "No DQ" rules. He also decrees that any further outside interference will be punished by indefinite suspension. Oh snap!
6.) Flaming Tables Match for the ECW Tag Team Title: The Last of the Lost Dudley Boys ("Big" Balls Mahoney-Dudley & La Parka Dudley) def. The Hardy Boyz (Matt & Jeff) (c)
After recently learning how fucking reckless Mexican wrestlers can be, and having long known how nuts Jeff Hardy is, here's a reasonable finishing sequence for this match:
La Parka superplexes Jeff from the top rope through two stacked flaming tables on the outside. Since the tables weren't set up in the ring though, this doesn't trigger a victory. However, it does effectively render Jeff and Park dead. Matt and Balls continue to duke it out inside the ring, where another table is set up and on fire. Balls lights a chair on fire too (because WHY NOT!?) and knocks Matt out cold with a flaming chair shot to the head while he's perched on the top turnbuckle. Balls then puts Matt through the flaming table in the ring with a Nutcracker Suite from the second rope.
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Ladies and germs, your *NEW* ECW Tag Team Champions... The Chair Swingin' Chair, errr-- the Flaming Table Breakin' Last of the Lost Dudley Boys... "Big" Balls Mahoney-Dudley & La Parka Dudley!
7.) Last Woman Standing Match for the vacant ECW Women's Title: Awesome Kong def. Jazz
Jazz pulls a stone cold face turn by refusing to stay down no matter what Kong throws at her. But Jazz's battered body ultimately gives out on her in the end, and she collapses and is unable to answer the final ten-count after eating an Awesome Bomb off the top rope. Jazz puts up a hell of a fight though en route to defeat, as Kong is only just barely able to answer the same ten-count herself.
In a surprising display of good sports(wo)manship, Kong helps Jazz up after the match and shakes her hand. The fans give Jazz a standing ovation, which she acknowledges with the slightest nod as she limps her way to the back under her own power.
Ladies and germs, your *NEW* ECW Women's Champion... AWESOME KONG!!!
8.) Cache of Cash Ladder Match: Rob Van Dam def. Sabu
RVD springboards from the apron into the ring, landing on Sabu's back while Sabu is on the ladder, and reaches over Sabu to be the first one to grab the suspended briefcase containing the Cache of Cash contract.
After the match, while they're both still perched atop of the ladder, Sabu gets some small measure of immediate payback by sending RVD crashing to the canvas with a sunset flip powerbomb.
EC-DUB! EC-DUB! EC-DUB!
9.) Lion's Den Match: FTW Champion Taz fights Ken Shamrock to a draw
This fight features suplexes and submissions galore! In the final stretch, Ken catches Taz in a standing guillotine choke. Taz resists the urge to fade to black as he struggles to free himself from Ken's clutches. Taz repeatedly smashes Ken back-first against the cage wall in an attempt to break Ken's grip, but Ken hangs onto the choke hold like a pit bull with a cat in its mouth.
Fading fast and growing increasingly desperate, Taz suddenly bridges to hit the most beautiful Northern Lights Suplex ever seen. The impact KOs Ken, and he releases the choke hold. But Taz's bridge collapses on impact, as he had apparently passed out mid-suplex while still in the choke hold. Not sure what else to do with the two fighters out cold in a heap at his feet, the ref calls for the bell and rules the fight a draw.
Despite the draw, the fans are not disappointed with the hard-fought fight nor the finish. In fact, they're in a rabid frenzy and clearly craving more.
Rabid Frenzied Fans: FIGHT FOREVER!!! *CLAP, CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
10.) Kurt Angle def. Bret Hart via “submission”
This match is every bit the dream we've all ever dreamt it would be. A technical wrestling masterpiece. In the end, Bret has Kurt down and goes to apply the Sharpshooter... but Kurt counters mid-application into an ankle lock! Bret starts crawling toward the ropes, reaches out, and... then the bell rings to signal Bret's submission.
Huh? Bret is confused. Angle is confused. The fans are confused. But then Bret looks over and sees Vince McMahon at the timekeeper's table. NOOO! NOT AGAIN! Wearing a devilish smirk from ear to ear, Vince flips Bret the double bird. Screwed ya twice, Hitman! Bret instantly loses his shit and bolts from the ring to give chase to Vince. Meanwhile, Kurt --happy with a victory, and at peace with how he came by it-- celebrates in the ring as if he just won another Olympic gold medal.
BULLLLLL-SHIT... BULLLLLL-SHIT... (and also) YOU SUCK!!!
11.) ECW World Title: Chris Benoit (c) def. Eddie Guerrero via pinfall
This is essentially just a live highlight reel of all the best stuff from every Benoit/Eddie match ever. This match starts out in a pretty sportsmanlike manner, as Eddie is motivated to simply out-wrestle Benoit to prove that he's in fact the better wrestler. But Benoit has an answer for everything Eddie throws at him, which causes Eddie to grows increasingly frustrated as the match wears on.
As Eddie's frustration mounts, his Latino Heat gets the better of him and he resorts to more lying, cheating, and stealing. Taking advantage of the diabolical booker-man's no-diqualification declaration earlier in the evening, Eddie brings the title belt into the ring and goes to clock the champ with it... but Benoit ducks, wraps Eddie up from behind, and starts unleashing the Germans. Making his match against Austin in Edmonton look like some amateur hour warm-up, Benoit hits 19 rolling German suplexes in a row before bridging on the 20th to pin a rag-dolled Eddie for the 3-count to retain the world title.
Ladies and germs, your winner... and *STILL* ECW World Champion: CHRIS BENOIT!
The Card for ECW:D2D…
- **THE MAIN EVENT!** Unified ECW & WOW Women’s Title: "The Fabulous" Lana Star (c) vs. "The Barbie-Breaking Bayou Bad Ass" Jazz; Special Stipulation: Jazz will have one arm tied behind her back for the match!
- Feast or Famine Match: Kyo Dai ("The Japanese Buzzsaw" Tajiri & "The Yin to Jimmy's Yang" Akio) vs. The Rocky Road Express ("Pit Bull" Jamie Noble & Shane "Sugarcane" Helms)
- ECW Television Title: "The Manbeast" Rhino (c) vs. "The Maneater" Awesome Kong
- Cirque du Squared Circle Match for the ECW Tag Team Title: The Chair Swingin’ Chairmen (Balls Mahoney & La Parka) (c) vs. The Circus Freaks (Borne Again & Freak Show [f.k.a. Big Show])
- Xtreme Deletion Match at the McMahon Mansion: “The Woken, Broken, Big Money Angelic Diablo” Matt Hardy, Version 2.0 vs. “Jeff "Who Lives at Home" Hardy
- Mixed Tag Team Match: The Moral Majority (“Mister” Bob Backlund & “Miss” Molly Holly) (w/ “The B’More Bad Boy" a.k.a. "The Charm City Charmer" a.k.a. "The Mayor of Morality" Baker ) vs. The Lion’s Den (“The World’s Most Dangerous Man” Ken Shamrock & “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey) (w/ "The Last Motherfuckin’ Cowboy" a.k.a. "The Best of the Best" a.k.a. "The Smoke Show" shinobimusashi )
- “I Quit” Street Fight: Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Vince “I’m Not Your Pal, Pal” McMahon
- Elimination Chamber Match for the ECW World Title: "Latino Heat" Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. "The Rabid Wolverine" Chris Benoit vs. "The Olympic Hero" Kurt Angle vs. "FTW Champion" Taz vs. "The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal" Sabu vs. "Mr. Cache of Cash" Rob Van Dam
The Road to ECW:D2D…
So how the hell did we get here?
Good question.
**THE MAIN EVENT!**
UNIFIED ECW & WOW WOMEN'S TITLE:
"The Fabulous One"
Lana Star
[CHAMPION]
vs.
"The Barbie-Breaking Bayou Bad Ass"
Jazz
[CHALLENGER]
Special Stipulation:
Jazz will have one arm tied behind her back for the match!
Baker said:
Vince McMahon engineered a successful hostile takeover bid to become the sole power behind WOW. Baker sensed the end was near when it was already too late. The poor guy snapped. Vince's coup broke his brain.Baker --still starstruck and worshiping his idol, Vince; bound to the utmost by an extreme honor code; and loyal to a fault like your next door neighbor's neglected dog-- has dutifully trailed McMahon to ECW. As a reward for his unwavering loyalty to McMahon, Baker has been promoted from lowly commentator to manager (on the presumption that he can convince ECW talent to accept his managerial services).
Meanwhile, the usurped diabolical booker-man (who, by comparison to Vince, no longer seems so diabolical) is ousted from the one-man booking committee and is relegated to commentary in an eerily familiar power move.
Baker said:
McMahon's first order of business upon completing his hostile takeover of WOW was to have the entire roster sign a loyalty pledge stating they would never, ever leave WOW for any reason. In return, McMahon guaran(damn)teed them lifetime jobs with the company.Only one holdout remained... None other than "The Fabulous" Lana Star.
Ironically most insiders thought Vince and Lana would be a perfect fit. Most expected Lana to be pushed to the moon under Vince's watch. We all failed to realize one thing about Lana Star... She isn't going to bend the knee for anyone.
Vince derived disproportionate personal pleasure from informing all the WOW talent that they'd be jobless after all. All the WOW talent, that is, except for the apple of Vince's crazed eye; the only one worth retaining and joining McMahon in ECW (besides his stooge, Baker ) was the one-and-only... "The Fabulous" Lana Star!
Beyond how much Lana’s blonde bombshell appearance appealed to Vince's lady tastes... the holier-than-thou air with which Lana carried herself; Lana’s appreciation for the finest luxuries in life; and her unrelenting selfish stubbornness... all swirled together in a perfect pink vortex to turn Vince into a lustful lunatic hellbent on pursuing and ultimately possessing Lana’s heart (or, if not her heart, at least her body).
Vince's various advances primarily resulted in Lana’s utter disgust. However, Lana wasn't totally above taking advantage of all the absurd things that "that gross old man" was willing to offer as he attempted to woo her to his (bed)side. In the end, Lana begrudgingly agreed to join Vince in ECW... but only under very specific terms and conditions, which Lana's lawyer ensured were enumerated and detailed in Lana’s new ECW contract.
Particularly pertinent T's & C's included:
- A favored nations clause ensuring that Lana shall forever and always be the highest paid talent... not just on the ECW roster, but in ALL of pro wrestling!
- Lana’s name shall appear in pink bold font on ALL promotional material, and she must ALWAYS be billed before her opponent.
- The ECW Arena shall be renamed "The House That Lana Built".
- Free tickets to front row seats (facing the hard camera) for Lana’s pink-clad Lanaholics, a.k.a. "Pinked Herstars"... for EVERY show!
- Professionally-made, company-issued "WE LOVE LANA!" signs for all fans in attendance, regardless of whether or not they brought their own signs... and regardless of whether or not they self-identify as Pinked Herstars.
- Aesthetic overhauls before each of Lana’s matches to make everything pink (pink ring ropes, pink ring apron, pink canvas, pink turnbuckle pads, pink floor mats... even pink ECW logo chyrons).
- A permanent reservation for Lana at the Trump Tower in midtown Manhattan... which is as close to Filthadelphia, Peonsylvania as she'll ever venture, except for when it's time for her matches.
- Stretch limo transpo to "The House That Lana Built", unless an all-pink helicopter can otherwise be arranged.
- A plushly furnished private suite at "The House That Lana Built" where Lana can change into her ring attire... because under no circumstances shall Lana share an unkempt locker room with the disgusting likes of Jazz, Awesome Kong, Ronda Rousey, and Molly Holly... and god forbid some creeping Peeping Tom like that oompa loompa Taz dare to catch a glimpse of Lana while she's in some state of undress!
- Lana’s merchandise (Lanatude-scented copies of her letters to Patti Pizzazz, pink ink autographed photos and posters, replica pink purses and pocket mirrors, etc.) shall be manufactured and distributed solely at the company's expense; shall be featured front and center at all merch stands during live events; and shall NEVER be advertised nor sold at a discount!
- Lana’s matches shall always be billed as **THE MAIN EVENT!**, and her matches shall always go on first so as to minimize the amount of time she spends in Filthadelphia.
- Lana shall retain physical possession of the WOW Women's Championship title belt and be formally recognized as "the amazon-conquering, reigning, defending, undefeated, undisputed WOW Women's Champion" until a worthy challenger defeats her in a sanctioned title match or until the end of time... whichever event comes first.
- Lastly, Lana shall be granted a title match against the ECW Women's Champion (whomsoever that may be) to prove beyond all shadow of doubt that Lana is the preeminent and most dominant female competitor in the entire wrestling world.
Vince eagerly complies with all of the contractual obligations listed above to appease Lana. Honoring the final bullet in the T's & C's, Vince books an immediate title unification match pitting Lana against ECW Women's Champion Awesome Kong.
Upon seeing Kong though, Lana is all like: "Hold the phone… That fatty uggo is icky gross. If she sits on me, she'll squash me. And she looks so hangry, I'm afraid she'll try to literally eat me. Just strip her of her title and award it to me. It's essentially mine anyway." But Vince assures Lana that everything will be OK. And then history repeats itself, with Vince booking himself as the special guest referee for the title unification match... where he screws Kong over so that Lana winds up as the first-ever, *TWO-TIME* amazon-conquering, reigning, defending, undefeated, undisputed, WOW *AND NOW ALSO* ECW Women's Champion.
Enter Jazz.
The Barbie-Breaking Bayou Bad Ass wants to bookend the 2019 draft as ECW Women's Champion. And she'd love nothing more than to take her title back by force on a pay-per-view stage, tearing "that little lamb" Lana limb from limb in a public execution. In a callback to the hyper-extended elbow she suffered at ECW:NotLD, Jazz says she'll even wrestle Lana with one arm tied behind her back because she's that confident she can whoop the champ's "fabulous ass".
Still riding high from becoming the first-ever, *TWO-TIME* amazon-conquering, reigning, defending, undefeated, undisputed WOW *AND NOW ALSO* ECW Women’s Champion... and being a bit overconfident in presuming that Vince will reprise his role as her personal referee, Lana accepts Jazz's challenge (including the one-arm-tied-behind-the-back stipulation, of course). Lana looks forward to becoming the first-ever *THREE-TIME* amazon-conquering champ. In fact, Lana is so excited by the prospect that she only skims the contract for the match before signing it. It's only afterward that Lana learns Vince WON’T be officiating the match (because he'll be involved in another match at ECW:D2D). WHAT!?!?
Livid, Lana fires her lawyer for this oversight. But it’s too late and all for naught, as the (pink) ink has already dried on the dotted line. Poor Lana’s fate has been sealed; her doomed date with destiny (and likely her demise, and possibly even her death) has been set… for ECW:D2D!
HOW AWFUL!!!
☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠
Feast or Famine Match:
KYO DAI
"The Japanese Buzzsaw"
Tajiri
and
"The Yin to Jimmy's Yang"
Akio
vs.
THE ROCKY ROAD EXPRESS
"The Pit Bull"
Jamie Noble
and
"Sugarcane"
Shane Helms
KYO DAI
"The Japanese Buzzsaw"
Tajiri
and
"The Yin to Jimmy's Yang"
Akio
vs.
THE ROCKY ROAD EXPRESS
"The Pit Bull"
Jamie Noble
and
"Sugarcane"
Shane Helms
Tajiri gets through to Jimmy Wayne Yang that his whole gimmick is an offense to the entire Orient and convinces him that they should join forces as a tag team and right all the wrongs beset upon the Yellow Man in ECW. Jimmy renounces his White Man name, becoming “Akio” instead, and forms Kyo Dai with Tajiri.
Meanwhile, for a lack of anything better to do, a lost and floundering Shane Helms forms a tag team with an equally directionless Jamie Noble. They struggle to come up with a team identity though. At first Shane proposes they become a new and improved version of the Supernatural Disasters, with Noble becoming Twister... but Noble declines, as he still hates 'nadoes too much to self-identify as one. Then Shane suggests they become 2-Count in an homage to his former 3-Count group... but Noble declines again, as he ain't a fan of boy bands.
Vince McMahon accidentally bumps into Shane and Jamie at catering while they're hashing out more ideas for a team name. McMahon mistakes Jamie for a little person. When Jamie tries to correct McMahon, McMahon just scoffs at "the vanilla midget." Noble takes offense to this, and says there ain't nothin' vanilla about him. If anything, he's Rocky Road! Vince latches onto this, and starts referring to Jamie and Shane as "The Rocky Road Express". For lack of any better ideas, Jamie and Shane embrace this as their team name.
Anyway...
After Kyo Dai and RRX are both unsuccessful in their back-to-back non-title matches against the Chair Swingin' Chairmen, Vince decided to book them against each other in a high stakes match at ECW:D2D. The winning team gets a title shot, and the losing team gets... FIRED!!! This is another bookend of sorts, as we wind to an end with how we kicked things off in the very beginning: tag team cruiserweight action... but now with the added twist of a strange bedfellows shakeup!
ECW TELEVISION TITLE:
"The Manbeast"
Rhino
[CHAMPION]
vs.
"The Maneater"
Awesome Kong
[CHALLENGER]
"The Manbeast"
Rhino
[CHAMPION]
vs.
"The Maneater"
Awesome Kong
[CHALLENGER]
As a make-good to Awesome Kong for costing her the ECW Women's Championship, Vince McMahon gives her something the diabolical booker-man never did: a shot at one of ECW's men’s titles.
If Kong really wants to continue waging war against gender barriers then Vince is happy to toss her carcass into the meat grinder. At ECW:D2D, Vince announces it'll be the Maneater versus the Manbeast as Kong takes on the most successful title defender in ECW to-date… the ECW TV Champion, Rhino!
Kong is ready. Rhino is initially like, WTF? But then again, Rhino has had more than his fair share of unique challengers during his reign… so facing a woman (especially one built like the behemoth Kong) shouldn’t be too far outside his wheelhosue.
Will Kong be able to manhandle the Manbeast and progress her quest of capturing all the gold in ECW!? Or will Rhino continue to stack successful title defenses like pancakes? Only time will tell. Tune in to find out!
ECW TAG TEAM TITLE
Cirque du Squared Circle Match:
THE CHAIR SWINGIN’ CHAIRMEN
"The Chair Swingin' Freak"
Balls Mahoney
and
"The Chairman of ECW"
La Parka
[CHAMPIONS]
vs.
THE CIRCUS FREAKS
"The Impresario of Pain"
Borne Again
and
Freak Show
(f.k.a. Big Show)
[CHALLENGERS]
Cirque du Squared Circle Match:
THE CHAIR SWINGIN’ CHAIRMEN
"The Chair Swingin' Freak"
Balls Mahoney
and
"The Chairman of ECW"
La Parka
[CHAMPIONS]
vs.
THE CIRCUS FREAKS
"The Impresario of Pain"
Borne Again
and
Freak Show
(f.k.a. Big Show)
[CHALLENGERS]
What's a Cirque du Squared Circle Match, you ask? Essentially just an anything-goes tag team tornado match... but with a circus theme!
Due to Vince McMahon's inconsistently applied concerns about copyright infringement, the tag champs are forced to drop their recently adopted "Last of the Lost Dudley Boys" gimmick and revert back to their Chair Swingin' Chairmen team name. As a sort of consolation, McMahon assures the champs that --under his micro-managerial watch-- there will never be another production snafu like the one at ECW:RotLD that mislabeled Balls as one of those damn Dudleys. Anyway...
Regardless of what name they're going by, Balls and La Parka have been on a roll. Their momentum carried them through a couple of successful non-title matches against Kyo Dai and the Rocky Road Express in back-to-back weeks on TV. They also retained the tag titles against the former champs when the Hardy Boyz exercised their rematch clause after recovering from injuries sustained at ECW:DotD. The chair swingin' champs are now looking ahead to a fresh challenge at ECW:D2D.
Meanwhile...
In the wake of ECW:DotD, Borne Again brainwashes a down-and-out Big Show into becoming his own personal Weapon of Mass Destruction... with a deviant twist, of course. The mentally enslaved Big Show renames himself "Freak Show", swaps his singlet for a head-to-toe leather gimp suit (full mask included), and rebrands his knockout punch finisher as the "Bullhook". Borne announces that he and Show are henceforth a tag team to be known as the Circus Freaks.
Thanks to a massive infusion of capital from McMahon, the buildup to the Cirque du Squared Circle Match features some creepy vignettes shot on location at some old fair grounds where the Circus Freaks have pitched a big top tent and set up shop with their Carnival of Carnage. Dubbing himself the Impresario of Pain, Borne plays host and gives viewers a tour of all the ghastly attractions featured at their Exhibition of the Extreme:
There's the Carousel of Chaos and Merry-Go-Round of Mayhem, positioned next to each other, spinning violently in opposite directions. Then there's the Ferris Wheel of Fear towering behind them, also spinning at a violent velocity.
There's the Menagerie of Malevolence inhabited by illicit illusionists, and vitriol-vomiting ventriloquists; minstrels of misery, and jesters of injustices; anarchistic acrobats committing acts of trapeze terrorism; and cannibalistic contortionists who feed on themselves. There's even a bearded lady (KING KID 's mom) and miniature pachyderm (KING KID 's wife). Across from the MoM is the Wax Museum of Wanton Destruction, which houses life-size figurines of all the defeated drafters and their wrestlers who weren't stolen.
Xtreme Deletion Match at the McMahon Mansion:
“The Woken, Broken, Big Money Angelic Diablo”
Matt Hardy, Version 2.0
vs.
Jeff "Who Lives at Home" Hardy
“The Woken, Broken, Big Money Angelic Diablo”
Matt Hardy, Version 2.0
vs.
Jeff "Who Lives at Home" Hardy
Matt's mind breaks as a consequence of the flaming chair shot to the head and then being put through a flaming table with a Nutcracker Suite off the second rope at ECW:DotD. Meanwhile… for whatever unknown, ungodly reason… Jeff is still mostly intact after taking a superplex to the outside through a towering inferno of stacked tables.
Matt's mental condition deteriorates over the weeks between ECW:DotD and ECW:D2D. He finally completely loses his mind after he and Jeff exercise their rematch clause against the Chair Swingin' Chairmen... only to fail to recapture the ECW Tag Team Title.
Matt spirals out of control into an insane split personality hybrid of all his personas from over the years. He’s broken, he’s woken, he’s a big money angelic diablo. He "upgrades" himself from Version 1.0 to Version 2.0, and blames losing the ECW tag team titles (and subsequently failing to reclaim them) on the selfishness of Brother Nero; a.k.a. Jeff.
Jeff tries for weeks to get through to Matt, to get his brother to see medical professional help. But Matt is having none of it and harasses Jeff nonstop in turn. Matt says Jeff cost him his sanity, so now he's on a mission to claim Jeff's. Matt purposefully drives the landscaping business he and Jeff inherited from the Trailer Park Boys into the ground (explaining afterward, as his "Big Money" Matt persona, that he doesn’t need the extra income because he's already a multimillionaire). Matt auctions off all of Jeff’s most beloved lawn mowers, musical instruments, and paintings. Matt piles Jeff’s drugs in a field and sets the whole heap ablaze (and becomes even crazier as a result of a wild secondhand contact high).
Jeff finally reaches his limit and demands to know what it’ll take for Matt to finally seek help. Matt says he’ll seek help if and only if Jeff can defeat him in battle; i.e., a wrestling match. In response, Jeff’s like, what... that’s it? No problem; been there, done that… countless times. But then Matt reveals the twist: Matt gets to name a special stipulation! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
Jeff is still like, uhhh... OK? No DQ? Falls Count Anywhere? Ladders? What? But then Matt reveals the linchpin of his diabolical master plan: Jeff must face Matt in an Xtreme Deletion Match… at the McMahon Mansion!!~ Essentially this is a rehash of their Final Deletion Match from TNA, but imagine it taking place at Vince’s residence in Connecticut. Instead of a dilapidated boat and the Lake of Reincarnation, it's an inflatable raft and the Swimming Pool of Resurrection. Instead of Vanguard1, it's a 1:16 scale replica of Vince's private jet. And instead of Señor Benjamin, Reby Sky, and Maxel... It's the McMahon family butler, grandma Linda, and Aurora Rose!
Anyway...
Jeff accepts, promising to do whatever it takes to save Matt from himself.
DELETE!!! DELETE!!! DELETE!!!
Mixed Tag Team Match:
THE MORAL MAJORITY
“The Demon Barber of Swanson Street”
...The *OTHER* FTW Champion…
“Mister” Bob Backlund
![](http://silviomessina.pw/images/happy-birthday-to-bob-backlund-pro-wrestling-amino__aHR0cHM6Ly9wbTEubmFydmlpLmNvbS82NTU2L2Q1NWI2ODQ1MjFiNmUzMWUzYjRmODU2ODJlOTk4MWI0OTZkOWFlOWJfaHEuanBn.jpg")
and
“Miss” Molly Holly
with
"The B’More Bad Boy"
a.k.a.
"The Charm City Charmer"
a.k.a.
"The Mayor of Morality"
Baker
vs.
THE LION'S DEN
“The World’s Most Dangerous Man”
Ken Shamrock
and
“Rowdy” Ronda Rousey
with
"The Last Motherfuckin’ Cowboy"
a.k.a.
"The Best of the Best"
a.k.a.
"The Smoke Show"
shinobimusashi
THE MORAL MAJORITY
“The Demon Barber of Swanson Street”
...The *OTHER* FTW Champion…
“Mister” Bob Backlund
and
“Miss” Molly Holly
with
"The B’More Bad Boy"
a.k.a.
"The Charm City Charmer"
a.k.a.
"The Mayor of Morality"
Baker
vs.
THE LION'S DEN
“The World’s Most Dangerous Man”
Ken Shamrock
and
“Rowdy” Ronda Rousey
with
"The Last Motherfuckin’ Cowboy"
a.k.a.
"The Best of the Best"
a.k.a.
"The Smoke Show"
shinobimusashi
So let's recap real quick… Ronda earned a women's title shot by defeating Molly via DQ at ECW:DotD, thanks to outside interference from Bob. Ronda then interfered in Bob's title match as payback, costing him his opportunity at the ECW Television Championship.
Ronda wanted to exercise her title shot against Awesome Kong, since Kong is who eliminated Ronda from the ECW:RotLD 3-Way Dance and thus cost Ronda her title in the first place. But the debuting Lana Star beat Ronda to the punch, defeating Kong for the title in Lana's debut match to become the first-ever, *TWO-TIME* amazon-conquering, reigning, defending, undefeated, undisputed, WOW *AND NOW ALSO* ECW Women's Champion.
So Ronda then had to settle for facing Lana for the unified ECW & WOW Women's Title. Not the worst consolation prize. But in that match, the Moral Majority interfered and attacked Ronda as payback for Ronda costing Backlund his ECW TV title opportunity at ECW:DotD.
Following along? Good.
Ronda's Lion Den mentor Ken Shamrock stands up for his rowdy protege, challenging Bob to pick on someone his own size if he wants to pick a fight. This all sets up a Ken/Bob submission match for a following TV episode. But now insert ECW newcomer Baker , who --aspiring to be just like his idol hero-- convinces Vince McMahon to assign him as special guest ref for the match.
Baker 's biased refereeing in the resulting bout ensures that any momentum mounted by Ken's is quickly counteracted by the strictest enforcement imaginable of ECW's paper thin rulebook. Strangely though, it seems sporadic bouts of sudden blindness befall Baker -man whenever Bob bends or breaks the rules. In the end, this inconsistent officiating eventually causes Ken to snap. And he snap back into his ol' referee-abusing ways, planting poor Baker with a belly-to-belly suplex.
With his broken brain but intact moral code, Baker makes an immediate connection with the Moral Majority of "Mister" Bob Backlund and "Miss" Molly Holly; and it takes little convincing for Bob and Molly to accept the B'More Bad Boy's offer to be their manager. To commemorate the founding of their new relationship, Baker reprises (to much, much heat) Brutus Beefcake's Barbershop and has the most fitting first guest: The Demon Barber of Swanson Street, "Mister" Bob Backlund.
Seeking retribution, Baker and Bscklund issue a challenge to Shamrock on behalf of the Moral Majority... at ECW:D2D, it'll be the Moral Majority of "Mister" Bob Backlund and "Miss" Molly Holly with Baker in their corner versus the Lion's Den of Ken Shamrock and "Rowdy" Ronda Rousey! Miss Molly then comes out to surprise Bob by presenting him with his recently commissioned For The Win Championship title belt.
In response to the Barbershop challenge, Shamrock accepts. And then, in a shocking revelation, reveals the newest member of the Lion's Den, who will be their cornerman at ECW:D2D to counteract Baker 's ringside presence: "The Last Motherfuckin' Cowboy" shinobimusashi !
IT'S ON, LIKE DONKEY KONG!
I QUIT
Street Fight:
“The Hitman”
Bret Hart
vs.
“I’m Not Your Pal, Pal”
Vince McMahon
Street Fight:
“The Hitman”
Bret Hart
vs.
“I’m Not Your Pal, Pal”
Vince McMahon
As mentioned in the buildup for the **MAIN EVENT!**, Vince won’t be reprising his role as Lana’s personal referee at ECW:D2D because he’ll be involved in another match…
This match.
Put that WrestleMania XXVI atrocity out of your mind. This is Bret Hart from 1997. He's got a mean streak going with a nasty edge and an ax to grind. His athletic ability is still totally intact. And this is the Vince McMahon that puts on unexpectedly entertaining epics against the likes of Steve Austin, Shane McMahon, Shawn Michaels, and Hulk Hogan.
It’s time to settle this shit once and for all, the way it should’ve been settled during the Attitude Era… in an “I Quit” Street Fight BLOODBATH, MOTHAFUCKAAA!!~
BRET SCREWED BRET! YOU’RE FIRED!! FUCK YOU!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELLLL!!!!!
ECW WORLD TITLE
Elimination Chamber Match:
"The Rabid Wolverine"
Chris Benoit
[CHALLENGER]
vs.
"Your Olympic Hero"
Kurt Angle
[CHALLENGER]
vs.
"Mr. Cache of Cash"
Rob Van Dam
[CHALLENGER]
*1st POD OPEN*
vs.
"The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal"
Sabu
[CHALLENGER]
*2nd POD OPEN*
vs.
"Latino Heat"
Eddie Guerrero
[CHAMPION]
*3rd POD OPEN*
vs.
"FTW Champion"
Taz
[CHALLENGER]
*4th POD OPEN*
Elimination Chamber Match:
"The Rabid Wolverine"
Chris Benoit
[CHALLENGER]
vs.
"Your Olympic Hero"
Kurt Angle
[CHALLENGER]
vs.
"Mr. Cache of Cash"
Rob Van Dam
[CHALLENGER]
*1st POD OPEN*
vs.
"The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal"
Sabu
[CHALLENGER]
*2nd POD OPEN*
vs.
"Latino Heat"
Eddie Guerrero
[CHAMPION]
*3rd POD OPEN*
vs.
"FTW Champion"
Taz
[CHALLENGER]
*4th POD OPEN*
Eddie steals Benoit's world title belt in the wake of ECW:DotD. Eddie then lies, claiming he's the REAL world champion. Then, in a rematch with Benoit, Eddie cheats to win/retain the title. Benoit demands his rematch, but Eddie turns dodging challengers into a full-time hobby.
Then there's RVD and Sabu, both of whom want title shots. RVD has the Cache of Cash contract as well as a relatively recent win (albeit via DQ) over former world champ Benoit. Meanwhile, Sabu --still pissed about being (literally) passed up by RVD at ECW:DotD-- has vowed to interfere whenever/wherever RVD decides to exercise the Cache of Cash contract. Sabu also reminds everyone that he has a relatively recent win over now current champion Eddie, which he thinks warrants him his own title shot.
There's also FTW Champion Taz, who has finally announced his intent to exercise the world title rematch clause that he's been sitting on for a few months now. His title loss has been haunting him, affecting his game. He doesn't feel whole without the world title belt around his waist, and the FTW belt just doesn't give him the same feeling.
And last but certainly not least, there's Kurt. With a big win over Bret Hart to become the Best There Is/Was/Ever Will Be, the Olympic Gold Medalist refuses to let others bypass him in line for world title shots.
In a moment of inspiration, Vince McMahon conceives of an innovative new match type to bring some order to the crowded and chaotic world title scene: it's one part War Games, one part Hell in a Cell... it's the Elimination Chamber!
Put all those bad memories of WWECW's real-life December to Dismember Elimination Chamber out of your mind. This version is everything that that version should've been, and would likely rank as the greatest Elimination Chamber match ever... especially considering the talent of the competitors involved!
The weeks leading up to ECW:D2D are like an elongated flashback to late 2002 and the heyday of the SD!6. We get all sorts of dream matches on free TV. We get a one-night-only reunion of the Triple Threat as Taz, Sabu, and RVD take on Benoit, Eddie, and Kurt in six-man tag action. The three-man teams will compete in subsequent triple threat matches. The winning team will be competing for the last pod opening. The losing team will be competing to determine one of the first two entrants in the Chamber. Both teams are plagued by in-fighting, but Eddie straight up abandons his team in the middle of the match. Taz ultimately chokes Kurt out to pick up the win for his team.
In the Triple Threat Triple Threat rematch from ECW:NotLD, history repeats itself with Taz winning again and thus earning the last pod opening. Then, in the Benoit/Eddie/Kurt triple threat, Eddie walks out of the match again. It means he won't win, but it also means he can't lose. Kurt is confused by this tactic, which gives Benoit an opening to pin Kurt... which means Kurt will be one of the first two entrants in the Chamber and thus at a disadvantage. Afterward, Taz mocks the "Olympic Chump" for being an over-hyped idiot. In reponse, Kurt promises that he'll eliminate all the other wrestlers in the Elimination Chamber en route to facing Taz when his pod finally opens. Taz says there's no chance Kurt lasts that long, but he'd love to choke Kurt out again. So, just in case he's right, Taz challenges Kurt to a match on the go-home show.
Also on the go-home show, we get Benoit vs. Sabu and Eddie vs. RVD in a couple of Beat the Clock matches to determine the rest of the pod opening order. Eddie interferes in Benoit's match (which goes just past the 20-minute mark), attacking Sabu to get Benoit DQ'd and thus cost the former champ a later pod opening. Eddie then lies/cheats/steals to pin RVD in just under 20 minutes, securing the second-to-last pod opening for himself. Then, in the main event of the go-home show, Kurt vs. Taz is ruled a no contest after the other four Elimination Chamber participants run in and an all-out out-of-control brawl ensues.
This is the tale… of a rag-tag gaggle of grapplers, battling in a bingo hall packed to the rafters with rabid fans...
LIVE! from the ECW Arena
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
FUCK IT!
+++++++++++++++++++
THE KID
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
On September 22 of 1997,
An object as loud as 'thunder'
As explosive as 'nitro'
Appeared through the smokes of the rubble.
![]()
A GENERATIONAL TALENT.
AN UNBELIEVABLE FORCE!
SUMMONED BY THE PEOPLE.
TO ANNIHILATE EVERYONE!
*GOLDBERG!
GOLDBERG!
GOLDBERG!
GOLDBERG!
GOLDBERG!*
![]()
The fiercer he got,
The more they roared.
And roar they did,
Until he became....
UNSTOPPABLE!
BUT IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE
THERE WAS ANOTHER FORCE
THAT GRIPPED THE WORLD LIKE A RATTLESNAKE
SLITHERING THROUGH THE BROKEN GLASS
SUMMONED BY NO ONE
ARRIVING ON HIS OWN ACCORD
TO RAISE HELL!
AND HELL HE RAISED
FROM A KING
TO A BOSSES WORST NIGHTMARE
GIVING ALFRED HITCHCOCKS 'BIRDS' HIS OWN LITTLE TWIST
THEY SAY YOU SHOULD FEAR THE MONSTER
BUT WHAT IS FEAR TO A MAN WHO WOULD RATHER BLEED OUT THEN QUIT?
FEAR IS FOR THE WEAK
FUCK FEAR!
TWO OF THE GREATEST LEGENDS
FROM DIFFERENT UNIVERSES
FINALLY COLLIDE
IN THE GREATEST BATTLE OF ALL TIME.
THE MONSTER!
THE TOUGHEST SUNUVABITCH!
![]()
THE GREAT WAR!
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
BILL GOLDBERG
vs
STEVE AUSTIN
....
"Never say Never."
"Yet we do.
He'll NEVER be a wrestler.
He'll NEVER make it to the big time.
He'll NEVER be a champion.
He'll NEVER fight in the Octagon.
I'll NEVER come back.
Yet here I am."
"Yet here you are.
And why?
Because of the word 'NEVER'.
Because the truth eats you up.
When you wake up, before you go to sleep, it's always eating you up.
You can walk around talking about your accomplishments.
You can scream at the top of your lungs that you are the best.
But you know you will 'NEVER' be the best in the world
AS LONG AS I'M STILL HERE!
"FEBRUARY 14TH, 2004."
*CM Punk has AJ Styles by the turnbuckle. He's going for the Pepsi Plunge.
AJ fights him off. Forearms and punches exchange.
Punk is seated on the top turnbuckle.
Styles stumbles away and out of nowhere....
.... PELE KICK!
Styles grabs Punk;
STYLES CLASH OFF THE TURNBUCKLE!
1! 2!
PUNKS FOOT IS ON THE ROPE, BUT HE'S OUT OF ROPE BREAKS!
3!*
"A win with an asterisk.
A win you lived off of for years.
It's no coincidence that you came when I left.
You've been avoiding me for 15 years.
You know things have changed.
I'm not that punk with the bleached hair anymore."
"Time has ticked and decisions were made.
I made my decision.
I came back here for one purpose only.
To end the conversation.
TO END THIS LIE!
Everything you have is because I wasn't there.
Everything I have; I earned!
Summer of Punk! MINE!
Pipe bombs! MINE!
Championship after championship after championship.
MINE! MINE! MINE!
All because of me!
ALL BECAUSE I AM THE BEST IN THE WORLD."
"YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD TALKER, PUNK.
A GOOD LIAR.
YOU MAY HAVE CONVINCED SOME PEOPLE,
YOU MAY HAVE EVEN CONVINCED YOUR WIFE,
BUT YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.
YOU KNEW I WAS COMING."
"YOU MADE UP THIS WHOLE SCENARIO OF HOW YOU WERE MISERABLE,
HOW YOU NEEDED A CHANGE.
YOU STEPPED INTO AN OCTAGON AND GOT YOUR FACE PUNCHED IN!
YOU DID ALL OF THIS FOR ONE REASON.
BECAUSE YOU KNEW THE OUTCOME WOULD ALWAYS BE THE SAME.
YOU BEING GOOD.
AND ME BEING PHENOMENAL!
YOU MADE IT ALL UP, PUNK!
JUST TO AVOID ME.
NOW THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN.
AND I'M HERE FOR YOU!"
"I STAND HERE ON MY OWN TWO FEET.
I STAND HERE DEFIANT.
I STAND HERE CONFIDENT.
I RUN FROM NOBODY.
I'VE NEVER RAN FROM ANYBODY!
AJ STYLES, I WILL BEAT YOU.
WANT TO KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE I AM BETTER THAN YOU.
AND GUESS WHAT, AJ?
THE LANDLORD IS BACK!"
"AND THIS IS
AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN....
MY HOUSE!"
*THE BEST IN THE WORLD!*
*THE PHENOMENAL ONE!*
*FIFTEEN YEARS LATER
THEY FIGHT AGAIN!*
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
AJ STYLES
vs
CM PUNK
....
*I THINK I'M CUTE!
I KNOW I'M SEXY!
I GOT THE LOOKS!
THAT DRIVE THE GIRLS WILD!*
*I GOT THE MOVES
THAT REALLY MOVE THEM.
I SEND CHILLS
UP AND DOWN THEIR SPINE!*
*I'M JUST A....
DOWN THEIR SPINE....
I'M JUST A....
THAT REALLY MOVE THEM....
MOVE THEM....
I'M JUST A....*
"CUT!
CUT!
CUT!
STOP THE SHOW!"
"Clearly, the show is broken!
This show can't go on any LONGER!
Wanna know why?
BECAUSE I'M HERE TO END IT!"
"AND FOR MY FINAL ACT
I PRESENT TO YOU
'THE BREAKING OF THE HEART BREAK KID!'
![]()
"OH YES INDEED!
I SAVED YOU FOR LAST, MY FRIEND!
I AM HERE TO STOP THE SHOWSTOPPER!
A MAN WHO BASED HIS WHOLE CAREER OFF OF ME!
A MAN WHO IS AN EXAGGERATED VERSION OF THE HOT ROD!"
"MR. WRESTLEMANIA?
BEEN THERE! DONE THAT!
THE MAIN EVENT?
BEEN THERE! DONE THAT!
YOU CALLED YOURSELF A DEGENERATE,
I CALLED IT 'ROWDY'!
SHOWSTOPPER?!
HELL, I'VE BEEN ENDING SHOWS BEFORE THERE WAS TELEVISION!
I showed you the way, kid.
And you ran with it and never looked back!
Not even a thank you!
Well, screw your thank you!
At 'In Your House',
It comes to an end!
The party will end!
And I'll show you the way out!"
"You think you're the first one to try?
The first one to try and take credit for my success?
The first one to try and outshine me?
The first one to try and end me?
Many have tried.
All have failed."
"You think I wanted to be YOU?
You think I wanted to be anyone but who I am?!
I am the Heart Break Kid!
I am the Showstopper!
Mr. Wrestlemania, the Main Event, I am the best to ever do it!"
"Shawn Michaels is a fan of no man.
I will give you the finale you've been waiting for.
Tune up the band.
Because at 'In Your House', I will silence the Piper.
Because I can."
*HOT ROD!*
*HEART BREAK KID!*
*LIGHTS!
CAMERAS!
ACTION!*
In Your House
Part
IV
RODDY PIPER
vs
SHAWN MICHAELS
....
"THERE USED TO BE A TIME
WHERE A WOMAN HAD A PLACE AND A ROLE TO FILL.
MOTHER.
HOUSE WIFE.
COOK.
CLEANER.
A MANS SLAVE.
BUT TIMES HAVE CHANGED.
AND SOME WOMEN CHOOSE A DIFFERENT PATH.
THEY TOOK A MANS PATH.
AND MADE IT THEIR ROLE.
TO BE WARRIORS.
TO DOMINATE.
TO GIVE THEMSELVES A NEW WAY OF LIVING.
THEY MADE A NAME FOR THEMSELVES.
THEY BECAME LEGENDS.*
*THE DAREDEVIL!*
*THE BLACK WIDOW!*
*THE QUEEN!*
*THE G.O.A.T!*
*A FINAL FIGHT.
THE 4 GREATEST
FATAL FOUR FINALE*
In Your House
Part
IV
FATAL FOUR WAY
LITA
vs
AJ LEE
vs
CHARLOTTE FLAIR
vs
TRISH STRATUS
....
*OHHHHHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!*
Hawk- "This is it, boys! This is your final chance!"
Animal- "Three matches! Three wins! One million dollars!"
Hawk- "3 AND 0!"
Animal- "TLC match, we won. Six man tag match, we won. 5 on 5 match, we won again!"
Hawk- "There is a reason we are the greatest tag team of all time!"
Animal- "Because we've been beating up pretenders like you two for decades!"
Hawk- "No more playing games.
Animal- "No more playing with our food!"
Hawk- "Dudley Boyz, at the finale, we put you away for good!"
Animal- "BREAK NECKS! MAKE CHECKS!"
Hawk- "BREAK BACKS! MAKE STACKS!"
Animal- "FEEL THE DOOM!"
Hawk- "OHHHHH, WHAT A RUSH!"
....
*IT'S COMING DOWN!*
Bubba- "D-Von."
D-Von- "Yes, Bubba?"
Bubba- "It's 3-0 Warriors, huh?"
D-Von- "That's what the stats say."
Bubba- "And how many times in those 3 matches have they actually pinned us?"
D-Von- "Zero times!"
Bubba- "Never?"
D-Von- "Not once!"
Bubba- "Not a single time! You climbed a ladder to win the first time. You had your partner pin our partner the second time. And if I'm not mistaken, D-Von, did I or did I not pin Hawk in the 5 on 5 match?"
D-Von- "Oh, you pinned him alright!"
Bubba- "And what happened to Animal, D-Von?"
D-Von- "WE PUT HIM THROUGH A TABLE!"
Bubba- "Through a table! Unable to compete! Unable to finish the match! Ain't that right, D-Von?"
D-Von- "DECIMATED!"
Bubba- "So Road Warriors; you can keep your 3-0 record. Take those stats and shove them up your ass! You have never pinned us. You have never made us tap out. You have never beat us 2 on 2! You may have won some battles, but you aint win the war! And on the finale; we will end it and we will end The Legion of Doom!"
D-Von- "OH MY BROTHER, TESTIFY!"
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
TAG TEAM MATCH
THE ROAD WARRIORS
vs
THE DUDLEY BOYZ
....
*KNOCK KNOCK!*
"COME IN!"
Zack Ryder- "Welcome! Look at me, broski. I'm healed!"
Zack Ryder- "What's the matter, big fella? You still upset about the Steiner Brothers not wanting to be in the Bully Patrol anymore? I know, it's tough.
Hey, man. Have a seat. Let's talk about it.
You see, some people aren't like you and me. Some people don't have it in them. The courage to protect the world against bullies! But we don't need them anyways. I mean, look at me! I haven't felt this good since our match! I'm 100% healed and even when I was hurt, I was fighting against bullies 24 hours a day and 7 days a...."
*A LOUD BANGING NOISE IS HEARD IN THE HALLS.
Ryder and Ryback run out of their locker room and destroying shit in the halls is....*
Zack Ryder- "WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! Is that a.... is that a security guard you threw into a wall?! What are you doing?! What is she doing?! Ryback. RYBACK! RYBACK!
*I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT.
OH LORD!*
*AND I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR ALL MY LIFE.
OH LORD!*
*CAN YOU FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR-*
"RYBACK! RYBACK! RYBACK! RYBACK!
WHAT?!"
Zack Ryder- "Look what we have here! Another bully! A woman who is mad that she wasn't good enough to be in the fatal four womens match. So instead of working on herself, she attacked a poor security guard who was just doing his job! Well have no fear, small bodied security guard, because the Bully Patrol is...."
Ryback- "Hi, Beth. I'm Ryback.
Do you want to know why they call me 'Ryback'?
Well, when I was 10 years old, I ran away from home. I went to the zoo and I snuck into the cave with a momma rhyno. She just had babies and when she saw me, she thought I was one of her children. So she grabbed me and started feeding me. Breast feeding me.
And all the children rhynos would try and muscle past me. And I wouldn't let them. I would fight back. I would scream.
FEED ME MORE! FEED ME MORE! FEED ME MORE!"
Zack Ryder- "RYBACK!"
Ryback- "Yeah, Ryback. That's the name and thanks to all those years of Rhyno Milk, I am...."
Beth Phoenix- "Oh yeah?"
Ryback- "Oh yeah!"
Beth Phoenix- "Interesting. And what about you, Zack? Are you a tough guy too?"
Zack Ryder- "Woo, woo, woo, you know it! And guess what? I become the toughest when it comes to bullies!"
Beth Phoenix- "Good. I guess I'll be having a match at the finale, after all."
Zack Ryder- "Oh yeah?! Against who?! All the other ladies are already in a match and...."
Beth Phoenix- "YOU!
Zack Ryder- "ME?!"
Beth Phoenix- "Yes.... YOU! Oh; and Ryback, you could be the special guest referee."
Ryback- "Ha, ha. DEAL!"
Zack Ryder- "WHAT?! HEY! BETH, WHERE YOU GOI- RYBACK!"
Ryback- "Yeah?"
Zack Ryder- "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Ryback- "You see that big lady?"
Zack Ryder- "WHO, BETH?!"
Ryback- "Yeah, Beth. She's going to have my babies."
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
BROS BEFORE HOES?
BETH PHOENIX
vs
ZACK RYDER
SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE:
RYBACK
....
"I GAVE AND GAVE AND GAVE.
YOU TOOK AND TOOK AND TOOK."
"I GAVE AND GAVE AND GAVE.
YOU TOOK AND TOOK AND TOOK."
"WE GAVE AND GAVE AND GAVE.
YOU FAILED. YOU FAILED. YOU FAILED!
So you blame me? You blame my family?
We gave you guys all the opportunities. We gave you groups to hide in. Titles to chase. We gave you guys all the money in the world, but you just couldn't cut it.
So once again, I will give you guys an opportunity.
YOUR FINAL OPPORTUNITY!
You want some of this? You want your revenge?
COME AND GET IT!"
Owen Hart- "I'm going to tear you apart."
Jon Moxley- "I'm going to rip you apart."
Owen Hart- "And I'll destroy...."
Jon Moxley- "And I'll annihilate...."
Owen Hart- "WHOEVER STANDS IN MY WAY!"
Jon Moxley- "WHOEVER GETS IN MY WAY!"
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
OWEN HART
vs
JON MOXLEY
vs
SHANE MCMAHON
....
*A FAMILY OF SAVAGES!*
*A FAMILY OF DOGS!*
*SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!*
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
TAG TEAM MATCH
STEINER BROTHERS
vs
UMAGA & YOKOZUNA
....
*FOR YEARS, THEY HAVE SHARED A COMMON GOAL.
TO SACRIFICE THEIR BODIES
FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE WORLD.
TO ELIMINATE ALL EVIL
THAT STEPS THROUGH THOSE ROPES.
WHETHER IT WAS BARBARIC.*
*OR IN THE DARKNESS
BY FORCE.*
*THEY GAVE IT ALL BECAUSE IT'S IN THEIR BLOOD.
AND FOR THE FINALE
THEY WILL GIVE THEIR BODIES ONE FINAL TIME
AS THEY OPEN UP THE SHOW
SO THAT EVERY MAN AND WOMAN WHO FIGHTS AFTER THEM
HAS TO FIGHT INSIDE OF A RING
COVERED IN THE STAINS
OF THEIR BLOOD!*
TERRY FUCKING FUNK!
THE STINGER!
IV
On September 22 of 1997,
An object as loud as 'thunder'
As explosive as 'nitro'
Appeared through the smokes of the rubble.
A GENERATIONAL TALENT.
AN UNBELIEVABLE FORCE!
SUMMONED BY THE PEOPLE.
TO ANNIHILATE EVERYONE!
*GOLDBERG!
GOLDBERG!
GOLDBERG!
GOLDBERG!
GOLDBERG!*
The fiercer he got,
The more they roared.
And roar they did,
Until he became....
UNSTOPPABLE!
BUT IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE
THERE WAS ANOTHER FORCE
THAT GRIPPED THE WORLD LIKE A RATTLESNAKE
SLITHERING THROUGH THE BROKEN GLASS
SUMMONED BY NO ONE
ARRIVING ON HIS OWN ACCORD
TO RAISE HELL!
AND HELL HE RAISED
FROM A KING
TO A BOSSES WORST NIGHTMARE
GIVING ALFRED HITCHCOCKS 'BIRDS' HIS OWN LITTLE TWIST
THEY SAY YOU SHOULD FEAR THE MONSTER
BUT WHAT IS FEAR TO A MAN WHO WOULD RATHER BLEED OUT THEN QUIT?
FEAR IS FOR THE WEAK
FUCK FEAR!
TWO OF THE GREATEST LEGENDS
FROM DIFFERENT UNIVERSES
FINALLY COLLIDE
IN THE GREATEST BATTLE OF ALL TIME.
THE MONSTER!
THE TOUGHEST SUNUVABITCH!
THE GREAT WAR!
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
BILL GOLDBERG
vs
STEVE AUSTIN
....
"Never say Never."
"Yet we do.
He'll NEVER be a wrestler.
He'll NEVER make it to the big time.
He'll NEVER be a champion.
He'll NEVER fight in the Octagon.
I'll NEVER come back.
Yet here I am."
"Yet here you are.
And why?
Because of the word 'NEVER'.
Because the truth eats you up.
When you wake up, before you go to sleep, it's always eating you up.
You can walk around talking about your accomplishments.
You can scream at the top of your lungs that you are the best.
But you know you will 'NEVER' be the best in the world
AS LONG AS I'M STILL HERE!
"FEBRUARY 14TH, 2004."
*CM Punk has AJ Styles by the turnbuckle. He's going for the Pepsi Plunge.
AJ fights him off. Forearms and punches exchange.
Punk is seated on the top turnbuckle.
Styles stumbles away and out of nowhere....
.... PELE KICK!
Styles grabs Punk;
STYLES CLASH OFF THE TURNBUCKLE!
1! 2!
PUNKS FOOT IS ON THE ROPE, BUT HE'S OUT OF ROPE BREAKS!
3!*
"A win with an asterisk.
A win you lived off of for years.
It's no coincidence that you came when I left.
You've been avoiding me for 15 years.
You know things have changed.
I'm not that punk with the bleached hair anymore."
"Time has ticked and decisions were made.
I made my decision.
I came back here for one purpose only.
To end the conversation.
TO END THIS LIE!
Everything you have is because I wasn't there.
Everything I have; I earned!
Summer of Punk! MINE!
Pipe bombs! MINE!
Championship after championship after championship.
MINE! MINE! MINE!
All because of me!
ALL BECAUSE I AM THE BEST IN THE WORLD."
"YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD TALKER, PUNK.
A GOOD LIAR.
YOU MAY HAVE CONVINCED SOME PEOPLE,
YOU MAY HAVE EVEN CONVINCED YOUR WIFE,
BUT YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.
YOU KNEW I WAS COMING."
"YOU MADE UP THIS WHOLE SCENARIO OF HOW YOU WERE MISERABLE,
HOW YOU NEEDED A CHANGE.
YOU STEPPED INTO AN OCTAGON AND GOT YOUR FACE PUNCHED IN!
YOU DID ALL OF THIS FOR ONE REASON.
BECAUSE YOU KNEW THE OUTCOME WOULD ALWAYS BE THE SAME.
YOU BEING GOOD.
AND ME BEING PHENOMENAL!
YOU MADE IT ALL UP, PUNK!
JUST TO AVOID ME.
NOW THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN.
AND I'M HERE FOR YOU!"
"I STAND HERE ON MY OWN TWO FEET.
I STAND HERE DEFIANT.
I STAND HERE CONFIDENT.
I RUN FROM NOBODY.
I'VE NEVER RAN FROM ANYBODY!
AJ STYLES, I WILL BEAT YOU.
WANT TO KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE I AM BETTER THAN YOU.
AND GUESS WHAT, AJ?
THE LANDLORD IS BACK!"
"AND THIS IS
AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN....
MY HOUSE!"
*THE BEST IN THE WORLD!*
*THE PHENOMENAL ONE!*
*FIFTEEN YEARS LATER
THEY FIGHT AGAIN!*
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
AJ STYLES
vs
CM PUNK
....
*I THINK I'M CUTE!
I KNOW I'M SEXY!
I GOT THE LOOKS!
THAT DRIVE THE GIRLS WILD!*
*I GOT THE MOVES
THAT REALLY MOVE THEM.
I SEND CHILLS
UP AND DOWN THEIR SPINE!*
*I'M JUST A....
DOWN THEIR SPINE....
I'M JUST A....
THAT REALLY MOVE THEM....
MOVE THEM....
I'M JUST A....*
"CUT!
CUT!
CUT!
STOP THE SHOW!"
"Clearly, the show is broken!
This show can't go on any LONGER!
Wanna know why?
BECAUSE I'M HERE TO END IT!"
"AND FOR MY FINAL ACT
I PRESENT TO YOU
'THE BREAKING OF THE HEART BREAK KID!'
"OH YES INDEED!
I SAVED YOU FOR LAST, MY FRIEND!
I AM HERE TO STOP THE SHOWSTOPPER!
A MAN WHO BASED HIS WHOLE CAREER OFF OF ME!
A MAN WHO IS AN EXAGGERATED VERSION OF THE HOT ROD!"
"MR. WRESTLEMANIA?
BEEN THERE! DONE THAT!
THE MAIN EVENT?
BEEN THERE! DONE THAT!
YOU CALLED YOURSELF A DEGENERATE,
I CALLED IT 'ROWDY'!
SHOWSTOPPER?!
HELL, I'VE BEEN ENDING SHOWS BEFORE THERE WAS TELEVISION!
I showed you the way, kid.
And you ran with it and never looked back!
Not even a thank you!
Well, screw your thank you!
At 'In Your House',
It comes to an end!
The party will end!
And I'll show you the way out!"
"You think you're the first one to try?
The first one to try and take credit for my success?
The first one to try and outshine me?
The first one to try and end me?
Many have tried.
All have failed."
"You think I wanted to be YOU?
You think I wanted to be anyone but who I am?!
I am the Heart Break Kid!
I am the Showstopper!
Mr. Wrestlemania, the Main Event, I am the best to ever do it!"
"Shawn Michaels is a fan of no man.
I will give you the finale you've been waiting for.
Tune up the band.
Because at 'In Your House', I will silence the Piper.
Because I can."
*HOT ROD!*
*HEART BREAK KID!*
*LIGHTS!
CAMERAS!
ACTION!*
In Your House
Part
IV
RODDY PIPER
vs
SHAWN MICHAELS
....
"THERE USED TO BE A TIME
WHERE A WOMAN HAD A PLACE AND A ROLE TO FILL.
MOTHER.
HOUSE WIFE.
COOK.
CLEANER.
A MANS SLAVE.
BUT TIMES HAVE CHANGED.
AND SOME WOMEN CHOOSE A DIFFERENT PATH.
THEY TOOK A MANS PATH.
AND MADE IT THEIR ROLE.
TO BE WARRIORS.
TO DOMINATE.
TO GIVE THEMSELVES A NEW WAY OF LIVING.
THEY MADE A NAME FOR THEMSELVES.
THEY BECAME LEGENDS.*
*THE DAREDEVIL!*
*THE BLACK WIDOW!*
*THE QUEEN!*
*THE G.O.A.T!*
*A FINAL FIGHT.
THE 4 GREATEST
FATAL FOUR FINALE*
In Your House
Part
IV
FATAL FOUR WAY
LITA
vs
AJ LEE
vs
CHARLOTTE FLAIR
vs
TRISH STRATUS
....
*OHHHHHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!*
Hawk- "This is it, boys! This is your final chance!"
Animal- "Three matches! Three wins! One million dollars!"
Hawk- "3 AND 0!"
Animal- "TLC match, we won. Six man tag match, we won. 5 on 5 match, we won again!"
Hawk- "There is a reason we are the greatest tag team of all time!"
Animal- "Because we've been beating up pretenders like you two for decades!"
Hawk- "No more playing games.
Animal- "No more playing with our food!"
Hawk- "Dudley Boyz, at the finale, we put you away for good!"
Animal- "BREAK NECKS! MAKE CHECKS!"
Hawk- "BREAK BACKS! MAKE STACKS!"
Animal- "FEEL THE DOOM!"
Hawk- "OHHHHH, WHAT A RUSH!"
....
*IT'S COMING DOWN!*
Bubba- "D-Von."
D-Von- "Yes, Bubba?"
Bubba- "It's 3-0 Warriors, huh?"
D-Von- "That's what the stats say."
Bubba- "And how many times in those 3 matches have they actually pinned us?"
D-Von- "Zero times!"
Bubba- "Never?"
D-Von- "Not once!"
Bubba- "Not a single time! You climbed a ladder to win the first time. You had your partner pin our partner the second time. And if I'm not mistaken, D-Von, did I or did I not pin Hawk in the 5 on 5 match?"
D-Von- "Oh, you pinned him alright!"
Bubba- "And what happened to Animal, D-Von?"
D-Von- "WE PUT HIM THROUGH A TABLE!"
Bubba- "Through a table! Unable to compete! Unable to finish the match! Ain't that right, D-Von?"
D-Von- "DECIMATED!"
Bubba- "So Road Warriors; you can keep your 3-0 record. Take those stats and shove them up your ass! You have never pinned us. You have never made us tap out. You have never beat us 2 on 2! You may have won some battles, but you aint win the war! And on the finale; we will end it and we will end The Legion of Doom!"
D-Von- "OH MY BROTHER, TESTIFY!"
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
TAG TEAM MATCH
THE ROAD WARRIORS
vs
THE DUDLEY BOYZ
....
*KNOCK KNOCK!*
"COME IN!"
Zack Ryder- "Welcome! Look at me, broski. I'm healed!"
Zack Ryder- "What's the matter, big fella? You still upset about the Steiner Brothers not wanting to be in the Bully Patrol anymore? I know, it's tough.
Hey, man. Have a seat. Let's talk about it.
You see, some people aren't like you and me. Some people don't have it in them. The courage to protect the world against bullies! But we don't need them anyways. I mean, look at me! I haven't felt this good since our match! I'm 100% healed and even when I was hurt, I was fighting against bullies 24 hours a day and 7 days a...."
*A LOUD BANGING NOISE IS HEARD IN THE HALLS.
Ryder and Ryback run out of their locker room and destroying shit in the halls is....*
Zack Ryder- "WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! Is that a.... is that a security guard you threw into a wall?! What are you doing?! What is she doing?! Ryback. RYBACK! RYBACK!
*I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT.
OH LORD!*
*AND I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR ALL MY LIFE.
OH LORD!*
*CAN YOU FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR-*
"RYBACK! RYBACK! RYBACK! RYBACK!
WHAT?!"
Zack Ryder- "Look what we have here! Another bully! A woman who is mad that she wasn't good enough to be in the fatal four womens match. So instead of working on herself, she attacked a poor security guard who was just doing his job! Well have no fear, small bodied security guard, because the Bully Patrol is...."
Ryback- "Hi, Beth. I'm Ryback.
Do you want to know why they call me 'Ryback'?
Well, when I was 10 years old, I ran away from home. I went to the zoo and I snuck into the cave with a momma rhyno. She just had babies and when she saw me, she thought I was one of her children. So she grabbed me and started feeding me. Breast feeding me.
And all the children rhynos would try and muscle past me. And I wouldn't let them. I would fight back. I would scream.
FEED ME MORE! FEED ME MORE! FEED ME MORE!"
Zack Ryder- "RYBACK!"
Ryback- "Yeah, Ryback. That's the name and thanks to all those years of Rhyno Milk, I am...."
Beth Phoenix- "Oh yeah?"
Ryback- "Oh yeah!"
Beth Phoenix- "Interesting. And what about you, Zack? Are you a tough guy too?"
Zack Ryder- "Woo, woo, woo, you know it! And guess what? I become the toughest when it comes to bullies!"
Beth Phoenix- "Good. I guess I'll be having a match at the finale, after all."
Zack Ryder- "Oh yeah?! Against who?! All the other ladies are already in a match and...."
Beth Phoenix- "YOU!
Zack Ryder- "ME?!"
Beth Phoenix- "Yes.... YOU! Oh; and Ryback, you could be the special guest referee."
Ryback- "Ha, ha. DEAL!"
Zack Ryder- "WHAT?! HEY! BETH, WHERE YOU GOI- RYBACK!"
Ryback- "Yeah?"
Zack Ryder- "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Ryback- "You see that big lady?"
Zack Ryder- "WHO, BETH?!"
Ryback- "Yeah, Beth. She's going to have my babies."
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
BROS BEFORE HOES?
BETH PHOENIX
vs
ZACK RYDER
SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE:
RYBACK
....
"I GAVE AND GAVE AND GAVE.
YOU TOOK AND TOOK AND TOOK."
"I GAVE AND GAVE AND GAVE.
YOU TOOK AND TOOK AND TOOK."
"WE GAVE AND GAVE AND GAVE.
YOU FAILED. YOU FAILED. YOU FAILED!
So you blame me? You blame my family?
We gave you guys all the opportunities. We gave you groups to hide in. Titles to chase. We gave you guys all the money in the world, but you just couldn't cut it.
So once again, I will give you guys an opportunity.
YOUR FINAL OPPORTUNITY!
You want some of this? You want your revenge?
COME AND GET IT!"
Owen Hart- "I'm going to tear you apart."
Jon Moxley- "I'm going to rip you apart."
Owen Hart- "And I'll destroy...."
Jon Moxley- "And I'll annihilate...."
Owen Hart- "WHOEVER STANDS IN MY WAY!"
Jon Moxley- "WHOEVER GETS IN MY WAY!"
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
OWEN HART
vs
JON MOXLEY
vs
SHANE MCMAHON
....
*A FAMILY OF SAVAGES!*
*A FAMILY OF DOGS!*
*SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!*
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
TAG TEAM MATCH
STEINER BROTHERS
vs
UMAGA & YOKOZUNA
....
*FOR YEARS, THEY HAVE SHARED A COMMON GOAL.
TO SACRIFICE THEIR BODIES
FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE WORLD.
TO ELIMINATE ALL EVIL
THAT STEPS THROUGH THOSE ROPES.
WHETHER IT WAS BARBARIC.*
*OR IN THE DARKNESS
BY FORCE.*
*THEY GAVE IT ALL BECAUSE IT'S IN THEIR BLOOD.
AND FOR THE FINALE
THEY WILL GIVE THEIR BODIES ONE FINAL TIME
AS THEY OPEN UP THE SHOW
SO THAT EVERY MAN AND WOMAN WHO FIGHTS AFTER THEM
HAS TO FIGHT INSIDE OF A RING
COVERED IN THE STAINS
OF THEIR BLOOD!*
TERRY FUCKING FUNK!
THE STINGER!
A SACRIFICIAL, CEREMONIOUS
BLOOD BATH.
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
THE OPENER
NO DISQUALIFICATION
STING
vs
TERRY FUNK
....
IN YOUR HOUSE
PART
IV
THE CARD
MAIN EVENT- Bill Goldberg vs Steve Austin
Co Main Event- AJ Styles vs CM Punk
TRIPLE Main Event~!- Shawn Michaels vs Roddy Piper
FATAL 4-WAY- Lita vs AJ Lee vs Charlotte vs Trish
TAG MATCH- Road Warriors vs Dudley Boyz
TRIPLE THREAT- Owen Hart vs Jon Moxley vs Shane McMahon
SPECIAL REFEREE (RYBACK)- Zack Ryder vs Beth Phoenix
TAG MATCH- Steiner Brothers vs Umaga & Yokozuna
NO DISQUALIFICATION- Sting vs Terry Funk
