#NWAPowerrr, Season 1: Episdoe 19Here...
We...
Go!
After the party thread, I'm pumped to get caught up. It sounds like this was an awesome episode.
Opening with Mooney recap though, which is "meh" in tone; but works for refreshing me since it feels like a bit since I've had my last POWERRR SURRRGE!
Fucking Pantera. Or whatever this is... it sucks compared to Dokken. Bring it,
shinobimusashi.
CAN'T COMPLAIN!! CAN'T COMPLAIN!! CAN'T COMPLAIN!! Favorite chant in modern pro wrestling.
And we're getting Thunderrr Rosa vs. Melina for the title tonight!? YES!!!
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Mama Storm's Baby Boy comes out looking almost as sharp as the Resplendent One, Slick Nick.
Do people ask if Tim Storm is gonna retire after every match? I feel like he's always addressing this rumored issue. :lol:
Mama Storm is Tim Storm's hot button tho; don't be pressing Tim Storm's hot button. But here comes Big Thom Lat to SMASH that button. I swear Big Thom looks like a straight up 300 Gerard Butler clone. I see big things for him. I like that they're building out a little bit of Thommy Boy's character and planting seeds re: his relationship w/ Slick Nick.
Oh shit, and here comes DANNY DEAL$$$!!! On-screen character!? FUCK. YES. He was Mama Storm? Look at that fucking jacket! Those shoulders! Wider than a challenger. Danny Deal$$$ angling to make Tim Storm a tag unit with a mystery partner, eh? I'm intrigued. Wait... was Double D Mama Storm or not? I'm unclear on this. I'm thinking he was?
Pick Unicorns & Rainbows over Hellfire, bro; c'mon! J/K lol "DOOR #2" chant. Never mind, Tim Storm conducting his business his way and picking DOOR #3~
I do love the idea of Danny Deal$$$ becoming #NWAPowerrr's resident Bobby Heenan/Jimmy Hart and building out a proper heel stable a la the Heenan Family.
Prairie-doggin' a turd again and need a cofee refill, so hoping this segment wraps soon with an epic reveal...
JAX DANE! Yes!!! Wait, I don't know why I'm "YES"ing... maybe just because I recognize the name from my cagematch.com wrestler database research when scouting talent for wrestlesystem.com. Anyway, had no idea what Jax Dane looked liked; comes out Looking likea biker version of old Kurt Angle. And comes out and goes straight love/hate headbutts with Tim Storm.
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Nikita Koloff commercial, and it's already off to a better start than his last one. Lex Luger cameo. In love. Keep going. 5-day Man Camp. I'm sold. Is this legit? SPIRITUAL HEALTH is a real deal. info@mancamp.info; email us now!
But also, srsly, WTF is this?
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Matt Cross gets a podium promo? He needs a stool or a stack of phone books. Also, I didn't think loaner talent from ROH got to speak on #NWAPowerrr TV.
Also, he doesn't sound nearly as old as he looks. Which just adds to my overall "meh" (at best) reaction toward him. BUT... he's getting the people pumped. So that counts for something.
IN THAT RING, I CAN LIVE FOREVER. BECAUSE WRESTLING IS FOREVER, AND MATT CROSS IS FOREVER!!!
I will concede I like how he ended that promo.
But here comes Sick Zick looking EPIC. And now here comes Ricky Starks to scout the competition? Or is this a random triple threat? Methinks it's a random triple threat. Random. Single fall, or elimination? Single fall, I think. Non-title. YES!!! Love Sick Zick losing his SHIT over people touching his fanny pack. Party foul, bro!
"WE DON'T WANT IT!" chant in response
I feel like Matt Cross needs a character/gimmick/appearance overhaul. But then agani, no one can compete with Sick Zick. Fuck I love Sick Zick. And here comes Cross with a dive because dives. CAN'T COMPLAIN!! CAN'T COMPLAIN!!
Honestly, this triple threat isn't doing much for me. It's just... there. The action is meandering. I don't think these three are experienced enough to be able to conduct traffic in a sensical triple threat? But at least Sick Zick is good for character moments.
Gonna lay out for a second while I go shit.
...
OK, and back. And of course, I left like a second before the finish. Cross hits the lowest, slowest version of Evan Bourne's pretty version of the Shooting Star Press... and then Sick Nick steals the win! Love it. Hope this puts him in position for a TV title shot.
RANDOM ASIDE: I watched Rey Mysterio vs. Jushin Thunder Liger from Starrcade '96 while shitting. This is what "flippy" wrestling should be. These guys are icons. It's inspiring a draft theme idea: GOAT cruiserweights. Who would I have to target? Twenty picks... let's see:
1.) Rey Mysterio
2.) Jushin Thunder Liger
3.) Ultimo Dragon
4.) Tiger Mask
5.) Dynamite Kid
6.) Dean Malenko
7.) Brian Pillman
8.) Hayabusa
9.) The Great Sasuke
10.) Taka Michinoku
11.) Psicosis
12.) Juventud Guerrera
13.) Billy Kidman
14.) Jerry Lynn
15.) Super Crazy
16.) Little Guido
17.) Tajiri
18.) Low Ki
19.) Amazing Red
20.) Blitzkrieg
And what kind of card would I do? Probably just a double elimination round robin series for all the dream match-ups possible.
Anyway... where was I? Oh yeah, #NWAPowerrr.
Loading, loading, loading... AAAND back.
Sick Zick celebrating so hard his tummy tats are jiggling like dude's on a mechanical bull. Works so good for his character.
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MayValDiary is back! Despite her busted face, she's growing on me because these are such fun vignettes. Love what this is doing for both our pal Sal and Royce.
:lol: @ "RnRx, who are supposed to be like these huge legends... it's like a really big deal."
Love the seeds that are being planted with our Pal Sal, MayVal, and Royce. AND YES! Love the inclusion of Kamille in this. More Kamille is always a positive. Although, of course/per usual, Kamille is wearing WAY too much.
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Placemat Placeholder "Extra" Aron "Shooter" Stevens out to the podium now. And he should absolutely NOT tolerate punk-ass Galli cutting him off. And whatever happened to the no eye contact rule!? Yes/no/yes/no; E-ASS plays the studio audience like a fiddle.
:lol: @ "Largest Black Belt in the World" - what a title for a title belt
Where is Question Mark though? Has his time passed? Is he a pure afterthought now? Jobbed into oblivion by Big Trev? Never mind, E-ASS bringing up QM. And here comes the Sensei on command! QM needs a black T-shirt that has this on the front in big white block letters:
?
And this on the back in big white block letters:
KAH-
RAH-
TAY!
I should buy a T-shirt press and just start making wrestler T-shirts.
Big Trev out with a sour look on his puss, looking intent on wrecking shit. This is a rematch right? Or a rubber match? I think just re (not rub). Anyway...
Big Trev seems impervious to KAH-RAH-TAY. And Big Trev's modified top rope bulldog into a crushing body splash looks so brutal. THAT's the Flying Baked Potato.
And now Galli calling "clubbering blows" in E-ASS's pearl harbor job after the match. But I like these seated reverse elbows in the corner to Big Trev's ear. Fucking NICE and unique beatdown sequence. Favorite part of the show so far.
Quick segment.
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SLICK NICK!!! Your champion, my champion, our champion... our god; i.e., the ONLY man who can get his title to stand on its own on the podium.
"The Ultimate Thoroughbred" ...just coining bad ass pro wrestling nickname after bad ass pro wrestling nickname. And wearing Hugo Boss cuz he's a HUGE boss. (side note: at one point in time,
Wife and I considered "Boss" as a name for a boy because I passed a Huge Boss store in a mall and touretted "Boss" outloud.
FLOP GORDON; that's about right on the money.
Shit, my attention lapsed as I was just daydreaming about how awesome Slick Nick is. But here comes Marty Squirrel on command. Fuck this man-bunned nugget. And his bullshit counter stip. How is Marty not the heel in this program? What a flunkly lil bitch. How dare he challenge Slick Nick!? I hope Slick Nick WRECKS this punk. Or better yet, Big Thom Lat coming out to powerbomb this little nug into a fuckhole of oblivion. My Marty hate is STRONG!
Okay, or not Big Thom... just Royce. :lol:
Oh, never mind, there we go... BIG THOM!
Love Slick Nick teasing Marty with StrictBiz all coming out one at a time.
Who is this guy? Looking kinda like Sick Zick mixed with Eddie Kingston? Who are these security guys? Trying to spot faces to see what other talent is secretly working on #NWAPowerrr... All hell is breaking loose in Tulsa! CAN'T COMPLAIN!! CAN'T COMPLAIN!!
QUESTION: Does Marty have THE ALL-TIME WORST build for any cruiserweight ever? Looks like he doesn't know how to work out or diet?
I feel like PCO would've been a better fitting ROH Invader to come into #NWAPowerrr (instead of Marty)
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Eddie comes out taping his fists and getting ready for a fight; might pop Didi Marquez for putting over his Emmys.
Eddie vs. Pope; bring it... I'm ready! Eddie Kingston is like, what? A bigger version of Taz(z) mixed with Bully Ray and a dash of Carlito?
Here comes Pope mocking the taped fists. BURRRN! Pope doesn't stand too close to trash. HAND CLAPPIN, FOOT TAPPIN, PIMP SLAPPIN! I fucking love Pope. He needs a main event push; if not here then for sure on a bigger platform. He should've been a thing in WWE. It almost makes me want to start a revisionist history fan fic of 2007 WWE (or whenever) where I push Elijah Burke to the moon.
Here come Bouncers to back Kingston. But Pope ain't sweating. Oh shit, because he's got the Bouncers in his back pocket! So what is King Kong Bundy Jr.'s name? He needs a name as cool as Beer City Bruiser. BCB is a cool fucking name. Holy shit, what a double-team! KBB Jr. busting out da titties. Wish they were Kamille titties though. Or Melina titties. Shit, even Allysin Kay titties would be alright.
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Speaking of Melina titties... hype package for Thunderrr Rosa vs. Melina
That's so weird that they put a little photo of the champion in the middle of the women's title belt. :lol:
SANCTIONED BY MELINA! One of my all-time favorite lines (including its delivery) in #NWAPowerrr history.
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Next week's show sounds pretty big. It's interesting to see how they book when there's such a long gap between PPVs.
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Back to the ring, and here comes Melina with the same odd-ish outfit from the other week. I'm just hoping all those strings snap and da titties come poppin' out.
And here comes White Ranger-lookin' Thunderrr Rosa. (White Ranger was just the Pokemon evolution of the Green Ranger, right?)
Let's get it on, ladies!
Honestly, partly surprised this match wasn't built up more and saved for a PPV.
Melina with the odd mind games outta the gate. What's up with this? She's got something up her sleeve.
Thunderrr Rosa is too much of a face now to pop Melina like she should. So she settles for a little shove and some audible trash talk.
Melina takes a powder. MIND GAMES!!! Interesante. Going for a walk up the stairs to the top of the bleachers... gonna get counted out? Pointing to her cabeza like she's outsmarting Thunderrr Rosa? This is interesting. Fans hate it. Good heat on Melina though. Thunderrr Rosa hasn't proven anything; i.e., she hasn't BEATEN Melina.
OH SNAP, WAIT... Allysin Kay descending from the rafters to intercept Melina.
BUT HERE COMES KAMILLE!!! Finally getting involved with the women's divsion... YES! Time to dominate. Fuck though, Kamille, why you wearing so many clothes? Let dem titties out, grrrl! Definitely looking forward to Thunderrr Rosa vs. Kamille once Thunderrr Rosa gets through Melina. That'll be an epic match.
AND WE'RE OUT!
Still miss Dokken. Pantera is defintiely broken.