There's not much in this world I'll stand up for for 3-4 hours straight, but apparently watching sweaty men play fight in a dingy rock venue is one of them. It's been 6 hours since I popped my live wrasslin' cherry. My voice is hoarse from all the cheering, I'm really high and compulsively eating iced oatmeal cookies and just extremely giddy that I got to lose myself for four hours watching something I've loved so profusely since my childhood, even if Jim Cornette woulda called it "outlaw mudshow bullshit" which probably just made me love it more. All of this btw I can ensure is 100% real and not a work.

Sami Callihan runs his own promotion, Wrestling Revolver, out here in Dayton and a friend of mine knows him personally (which is important to mention for reasons coming up soon). "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" being the name of the event. Unfortunately I couldn't snag VIP/meet & greet tickets... I also was a dumbass and left my phone in said friend's gf's car, which was what had my proof of admission. Luckily, Sami was cool with this and I was told just to tell them my name on the way in... After 40 minutes of freezing in the Ohio cold internally telling myself "Gotdamn, why am I such a mark!?!?" Dave Crist is an awesome guy btw. He came out without a jacket on and talked to us to keep our spirits up, telling us all how smarter we were for wearing a jacket. Crazy, I used to watch the Crist Brothers growing up on local HWA.

There was a "bring your own weapons" match advertised for the show. My buddy brought a cheese grater (can't beat the classics) while the dude next to me had a tennis racket. Told him "Nice Cornette tribute" but he straight up ignored me... Off to a nice start here in neckbeard land! Anyways, I get to the counter, say my name and Sami and the door guy respond "Ah yes, Justin with the long red hair" -- why yes, I am le ginger himself. Got to the ring area and my first thought was "damn... That's a small-ass ring." Turns out there was a reason for that....

SAMI'S INTRO PROMO
Sami came out to thank everyone for showing up tonight. He then got real for a second, explaining that recently their ring equipment trailer was stolen in Iowa and thanked another local promotion for donating their ring which he said saved the show and that got a nice pop from all of us. Apparently his cat has to be put down too and as a cat lover, I feel that pain. But damn if Sami didn't flip that room like a damn switch "But there's NOWHERE ELSE I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW THAN RIGHT FUCKING HERE!!!!" that man can cut a solid promo. Crowd was definitely hyped, around 250-300 in total attendance I'd estimate. Unfortunately this meant Sami couldn't wrestle as he was booked to face his wife who was home with their cat. While this definitely sucked, I loved Sami's passion and the fact he gave this spot up for a guy to make his pro debut and put them both over before telling us to show each some love.



#1 - LARRY D vs. 1 CALLED MANDERS
Unfortunately, this was the only match I managed to get footage of before my phone died… Larry - FUCKIN' - D!! Heard that chant a million times. Super over with the fans. His chops are nasty. Just recently signed with Impact if you're unfamiliar with him. Manders worked a cowboy gimmick and had some of the weakest looking kicks I've ever seen but a great knack for emoting to the crowd. The old guy by the wall had me dying though. Manders did an atomic elbow and guy yells "YA AIN'T NO DUSTY RHODES, BOYYY!!!" Lolol, no old man, he certainly isn't. Shockingly, Manders went over (not knocking him, Larry just seemed more over) but this was just to setup a Larry D heel turn after the match. Lariat to Manders, flips all of us off; most of us cheered anyways. Honestly, this was a solid opener - watch out for Larry, he's fun to watch and faster than he looks. ***½

#2 - 6-MAN SCRAMBLE
My buddy was also friends with a guy here who looked like the Matt Striker version of Marko Stunt, I shit you not. Guy could definitely go. This was a good match with a lot of fun spots. There was a conga-line german suplex spot where all six were bunched in the corner and Zoey Skye, the only female in the contest, proceeded to hit individual germans one-by-one. Zoey ends up winning this really fun match. ***

#3 - WARHOUSEN vs. JON MURRAY & MANSCOUT
Around this time I noticed there was a little girl staring at me directly beside me in the back row and she didn't stop until I returned eye contact. She and her family also made sure to let everyone know they were the biggest Warhausen (Danhausen & Warhorse, respectively) marks in the building, as they kept chanting their name even randomly well after their match (ugh). Onto the match, it was mostly a comedy act. Warhousen stopped midway on the apron to headbbang to "Tequila" before big Jon came up and took both down. Jon yelled at Manscout "GRAB THE TENT!!!" Dudleys style before a pop-up tent was brought out, one of Warhousen was zipped inside and it cost them the match. Oh yeah, and Murray pulled what looked like cereal out of Danhausen's tights and yelled "WHAT THE FUCK!?" Cheap laughs can still be good laughs, still an enjoyable match. **½

Around this time my buddy popped up to ask why the hell I was sitting so far back. It hadn't occurred to me that I could just stand over by V.I.P. and get a way better view. Also, our non-wrestling friend showed up which (if you knew him) would make you laugh as it's the last place I imagined seeing him. Anyways, I'd like to make mention of the low-hanging ceiling fans that were by the front two turnbuckles that seemed dangerously close to the wrestlers' heads. It seemed like it was a rite of passage for each one to turn one of the stationary blades when climbing the top to work the crowd, as most everyone tall enough nearly hit their heads on the damn thing. I wanted to start a "FUCK-THAT-FAN!" chant but I wasn't too sure if it would sell.

So by this time, I've moved away from creepy staring girl and her mark family to the much improved arrangement of standing behind V.I.P. witnessing wrestling so up close and personal changed me, not even gonna lie. Feeling the ring shake; standing next to the guy who just started that "HOLY SHIT!" chant that everyone is now saying; dodging ukulele shrapnel as it flies towards your head - needless to say, I was at home here.

#4 - 6-MAN TAG: STONEHEARTS vs. ACE AUSTIN, ALEX ZAYNE & BLAKE CHRISTIAN
Seeing CIMA in person was unreal. I've been a fan of his since my teens so I was a little marked out for a second. What snapped me out of it was T-Hawk's stiff-ass chops to Blake Christian's poor fucking chest. Poor fuckin' dude, if he was white you would have seen a chest redder than Sheamus. Stronghearts played the heel tactics working double teams while the ref was distracted & Ace protested on the outside. They kept Ace looking strong but Stronghearts got the win. Above average traditional tag match here. ***

#5 - Sad to say but I can't name these two workers as one was making his pro debut and the other I wasn't familiar with. They weren't even initially booked, but with Jess Havok being away to deal with aforementioned dying cat issues, here we were. And boy, did these two nearly steal the show. Congratulated them both on this match walking past them in the lounge area on my way to smoke a cig later on. Some douche next to me was talking shit to Greenberg, telling him "gonna have to do better than that!" after the first spot. Fuck that guy, btw - I hope he gets a rusty aenema one fateful, karmic day. **½

Sami then came out and announced a brief intermission. Me and the boys snuck off to smoke a bowl and explain booking tactics to our non-wrestling fan friend who was confused why Ace Austin didn't get much ring time. "Gotta protect the champion *cough, cough* if he takes the pin it makes him look weak, and by extension his title" I'd like to think he was actually starting to understand it a little better, as he did go on to say "it definitely takes athletic ability" and as a wrestling fan, that's about all the confirmation I could hope for from a non-fan.

#6 - EDDIE EDWARDS vs. MICHAEL ELGIN
I missed the entrances but caught the first lock-up just in time. Eddie got so much love from the crowd. They were fully alive for this one. I witnessed a great old school style match here and loved every second of it. Seeing these two standing 20 feet away and kicking ass after years of watching them on ROH was surreal to say the least. Easily the best classic wrestling match of the night. Elgin looks way bigger and buffer in person btw. ****

Also, the ring announcer (really fucking good for a small indy one at that) looked like a high school principle but sounded like Great Value Mauro Ranallo. He told us this match was going to air on Axis TV for Impact and we all popped hard for that. So grateful to see these two wrestle in person, such an awesome match.

Midway through Edwards vs. Elgin, my non-fan friend dipped out early to "get some sleep for work" but I think he was just getting bored. Oh well, good on him for at least giving it a shot and entering the show with a somewhat open mind.

#7 - OVE (Madman Fulton & Dave Crist) vs.The Rascalz (Zachary Wentz & Tre Miguel) vs. Logan James & Tyler Matrix
OVE got a big pop, with Dave yelling "THIS IS OUR FUCKING TOWN!" during their entrance. Madman looked awesome. My buddy actually used to work fast food with one of The Rascalz and they were hamming it up before the show. Rascalz came in at a combined weight of 420 -- niiiice. This was a fun match and probably my runner-up for favorite of the night. Security guard was next to me in a riot vest and handed Trey over what looked like a zippo. Felt awesome seeing that happen in person. Turns out it wasn't a zippo, it was a vape. Trey does a vape spot on Fulton and Madman sells getting super stoned. The two did a slow-mo matrix sequence that had the whole crowd laughing and engaging. It was a Chikara-esque moment for sure and I'm super bummed I didn't get to record it. Rascalz get the pin on James or Matrix (can't remember) while OVE was outside. ***½

Sami comes out to warn us that the following contest is the "bring your own weapons" match and that we need to get the fuck out of the way if Nick Gage comes near. Not something I needed to be warned about but very vital info for the casuals & non-fans in attendance. During this time the crew began bringing in all the weapons that fans had brought to the show all stuffed in grocery bags, including my buddy's cheesegrater. The star of the weapons was by far the plastic Playskool bat that some fan had bedazzled and glued several rows of legos on to. First I thought "wtf?" then I remembered stepping on one in my childhood and instantly realized "Oh god no, fuck that!"

#8 - ACEY ROMERO vs. NICK FUCKIN' GAGE
First off, Ace is a BIG boy. It looked like the center ring might buckle underneath him (not making fun of him, I liked the visual). Nick fuckin' Gage got a huge pop and several chants, my favorite being "YOU SICK FUCK!" and my least favorite being "SUCK HIS DICK!" which confused the hell out of me. Gage and Ace spilled out into the crowd and Ace got color. Nick used the pizza slicer first, then my friend's cheese grater second. He turned around to look at me like a kid on Christmas while pointing to the ring "THAT'S MY GRATER!" and I died laughing. I called it too that Nick would most definitely be using that. If you buy the show in the future, look for a redhead with a man bun during this match (dat be me). Definitely the only mark in the building wearing a cardigan. Anyways, I eventually had to move out of the way when they got closer to the guardrail. Gage smashes Romero over the head with a ukulele and this was the only time I worried for my safety (not a fan of potential shrapnel in the eye). Acey finally gets some offense in before the cutlery unit with nothing but forks in it was brought out and both proceeded to stab the other in the forehead. Gage finally grabbed the playskool bat - WHAM!!! Legos went flying everywhere and it was a really cool visual. Whoever made that bat deserved a handshake. Big spot off the turnbuckle onto the forks and all the other weapons (Superplex I think?) and Gage got the win. As far as deathmatches go, this was an excellent affair. Super fun and Gage is great at getting the crowd involved and saying some funny shit off the cuff during certain spots. ****

Another note on Sami: we didn't get to really talk at all but man, what a cool dude. He felt like one of the fans instead of one of the workers, hanging out in the crowd and asking people within earshot of me "Enjoying the show?" or "You guys having a good time tonight?" I saw him mark the fuck out right in front of me during a spot I forgot to mention where Acey straight up chucked an open steel chair at Gage's head full force just about three or four steps away. "SHITTT!!!" Sami yelled to a fan in front of me with a big smile. "THAT'S WHY I FUCKIN' LOVE THIS SHITTT!!!" the old-head CZW neckbeard replied. I was really glad I'd listened to my friend and moved up by V.I.P. section. Such a more intimate and awesome experience, even if deathmatches aren't my favorite thing, seeing it live does give you a greater sense of appreciation for it. It's like monster trucks: "Meh, Gravedigger's cool and all, but…" -- "Yeah, BUT… Have you seen Gravedigger… IN PERSON!?!?" Personally, I never got that feeling of not being able to watch at all like some do. Of course it looked painful and I cringed during certain spots, but it was definitely like watching a car crash - ya just can't look away.

#9 - ALEX COLON vs. JAKE CRIST
So by the time the main event came around I was super tired. Alex Colon's pop was nice (hometown hero and all) and Jake got a decent response but you could tell the crowd was feeling like me and a little less lively. Jake was weirdly wearing a button-up vest and dress shirt and I couldn't help but imagine I'd be super uncomfortable wrestling in such tight-fighting clothes. Anyways, this too was a deathmatch of course but there was an awkward bit at the start getting the barbwire plywood table to stand up in the corner, as it kept constantly shifting out of position. I don't remember much from the match due to being so stoned and sleepy, but Jake did bleed here and the match really picked the fuck up after the initial awkwardness. Sami started up a "LET'S GO JAKE!!!" chant while taping the match on his phone. By far the biggest spot of the night was the finish of this match: Jake reverses a Superplex with a Canadian Destroyer through the table with a cosmic bang of awesomeness and it was the most hardcore indy ending to a match/show I could ever imagine. ****

Afterwards Jake cut a promo demanding the music be cut. I thought this was a retirement speech but instead he was announcing that he wasn't going to be booking Revolver anymore for… reasons? I can't remember. He got his leg wrapped up in barbed wire and the ref had to assist him for a sec. Jake thanked Ohio and Dayton in general for always supporting him, Sami, his brother and the company and we got to chant along with the "OHIO - VERSUS - EVERYTHING!" bit. That was a pretty awesome moment that actually made me proud to be from here, and trust me, if you're from Ohio - You don't get many chances to feel that.

Jake then gave props to Alex for being the pride of Dayton and making the entire city proud. The two embraced and then raised arms before Jake called out Sami and the two celebrated, with Madman and brother Dave soon following suit. Ol' Death Machine then thanked all of us for our unwavering support and how with each show they're growing bigger and bigger. He then chummed it up with us a little and even addressed the "SUCK HIS DICK!" chant that kept rearing its ugly ass head all night, asking us "What the fuck was up WITH THAT!?" Lololol. Afterwards, me, my friend and his gf decided to help the ring crew clean up some of the trash. Not all of it of course, but it felt good to lend a hand. Also learned: some wrestling fans are fucking wasteful slobs.

Afterwards we hammed it up with The Rascalz and I totally zoned out and forgot to introduce myself. Total mark moment. Not afraid to post this since it's literally their gimmick: smoked a blunt and a bowl with Trey and two ring rats who actually knew their shit about wrestling. A certain other member of the roster then came out to partake as this squared circle groupie impressed me with her actual kayfabe knowledge. Also learned: don't judge a book by its cover. Decided to roll out midway through and head to my friend's house to venture through his wrestling memorabilia collection and partake in some sugar resin dabs whilst talking New Japan while a howler monkey nature video played loudly in the background. Though I didn't want it to, by 1 AM, I realized it was time I should probably make the 25+ mile drive home.

So all in all, I had a great experience. The Brightside is a highly recommended concert venue if you're ever in the area, that I in particular didn't even know existed until last night. Sami is passionate about this promotion and he genuinely cares about these fans. He encourages the use of cell phones and passionate crowd interaction. This is a promotion I can get behind, that I want to get behind and that I would love to help succeed. This definitely won't be my last show. Also learned: WRESTLING. IS. BETTER. IN. PERSON.

EDIT: Thanks to all of you who took the time to read this. Sorry for the long, messy read, I was way more focused on getting all my thoughts and memories out before forgetting rather than presentation or punctuation. Hope it wasn't too excruciating to get through.

Fucking. LOVED. This review.

Feb 16, 2020 14:57:09 GMT 🤯 said:

Fucking. LOVED. This review.

Seconded. Live pro wrestling can be extremely fun. Glad rad got to experience it.

Thank you, fellers, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I had such a fun time, both going there and writing this. Only regret is not charging my phone properly before the show. Might see if I can't snag some of my buddy's footage in the future...

Things I left out:
- I believe the two unnamed workers were "Cole Radrich" and "Jeremiah Wolfe". Pretty sure Wolfe was the one debuting. That match was way better than I expected.
- Social anxiety flared up at times (Never been around so many fans in one building) here I am by VIP and Elgin, Eddie and all the boys are literally walking right past me intermittently.
- 1 security guy. Stood by me the whole time. HUGE burly sumbitch with a full beard, manbun and a riot vest. He looked like the long lost 4th Shield member.
- Said friend is having a watch party for Revolution in a couple weeks and Mr. Death Machine is supposed to come and hang out with us and some other friends, so that'll be fun. Hoping I don't make an ass of myself like when I met William Regal... 😓

Need to hear this Regal story, rad.

Feb 17, 2020 1:53:44 GMT 🤯 said:

Need to hear this Regal story, rad.

Back when I was 14/15'ish I went to Cracker Barrell in Springfield with my grandparents and cousin and spotted William Regal eating soup with what I assumed to be his friend.

1.) To best describe Springfield, OH to a non-local would be that infamous Lion King meme: "What's that dark place, father?"/"That is Springfield, Ohio, Simba. You must never go there!" which has in fact been circulating Facebook locally for years now. Springfield is a dirty, grimy rustbelt shithole that puts Dayton to shame in both GTAs and homicide. There is no reason to go there other than to work or buy drugs/hookers. NOT the city I expected to find LORD Steven Regal to say the least lolol.
2.) I had to do a million double takes to make sure while simultaneously not trying to look like a weirdo the entire time lol. After enough sideways glances there wasn't a shadow of a doubt.
3.) This was circa 2003-2004'ish I wanna say. He still had the slicked back hair and was dressed like the proper British gentleman you'd imagine.

My cousin knew nothing about wrestling other than the brief period when she was a (ironically) Goldberg mark in the 90's, but she convinced me to say hi to him. I eventually did and it was both very awkward/awesome. Lied and told him he was my favorite wrestler (Top 50, maybe? Dunno why I lied about this, nerves maybe?) and awkwardly shook his hand as he (I shit you not) gave me a classic Regal glare which very much NOT a work im sure.

I mean, I just interrupted the man's brunch to shake his hand with my own damn clammy hand just to lie about him being my favorite wrestler... Pretty fucking rude of me honestly, but it was totally worth it for the look though.

EDIT: I think it was on the outskirts of the city where it's actually decent, mostly restaurants and shopping strips on that side of town but still funny regardless. Also, pretty sure it was tomato soup. Figured the former leader of the Blue Bloods would be more of a clam chowder guy but people are full of surprises I guess.

Feb 17, 2020 0:34:07 GMT Baker said:

Feb 16, 2020 14:57:09 GMT 🤯 said:

Fucking. LOVED. This review.

Seconded. Live pro wrestling can be extremely fun. Glad rad got to experience it.

Not gonna lie, I tried to bring some of that magical Baker style charm to this. I love how personal and in detail you get with your stories and was thinking during the show at times "I can't wait to share this experience! Gonna use Baker as inspiration" Lol, so im glad you read this.

I still need to finish reading your action figure thread, I was enthralled by what I read but ultimately got sidetracked before finishing it.

Feb 17, 2020 3:29:45 GMT rad said:

Feb 17, 2020 0:34:07 GMT Baker said:

Not gonna lie, I tried to bring some of that magical Baker style charm to this. I love how personal and in detail you get with your stories and was thinking during the show at times "I can't wait to share this experience! Gonna use Baker as inspiration" Lol, so im glad you read this.

I still need to finish reading your action figure thread, I was enthralled by what I read but ultimately got sidetracked before finishing it.

Aww....you did a great job. Very enjoyable read!

Please do revisit the action figure thread! I had a lot of fun writing those posts. But you can skip the last one lol. That last post was a hot mess. Kind of (temporarily) killed the whole project for me. 

Glad you came with me and glad you convinced me to get active on this forum again!