*Probably the last one for a while as I piggyback on some recent PW chatter...

Frank Andersson vs. The Gambler- WCW Saturday Night? 6/11/94?

Sweden's greatest contribution to professional wrestling is a former Olympian who won bronze in the 1984 games. We get a fail right off the bat as he doesn't enter to the Olympic theme or the Swedish national anthem, opting instead for a rather generic tune. The Gambler needs no introduction anywhere in the civilized world. He's wearing a stylish jacket, flashing his cards, and wearing a smug expression on his face. Weirdly hard to find details for this match. It's not listed on Cagematch or any of the 1994 Show Result sites. So take the show title and date with a grain of salt. Those I got from the video itself.

Frank outwrestled The Gambler early before missing a dropkick. Makes sense that an Olympic wrestler would get into trouble when leaving his feet. The Gambler works Frank over with solid stomps and punches, as everything our favorite Kenny Rogers enthusiast does is solid. Frank comes back with a nice Judo throw. Then he hits some real lousy European Uppercuts that make me think he has never thrown, or possibly even seen, a European Uppercut before. But he makes up for it with an amusing elbow drop that was like a cross between a twitchy, spastic Muta elbow and a Rock People's Elbow. Then he wins with a nice Northern Lights. 

Verdict- Basic 'just there' squash. Might have to come back for one more if I can find a Frank vs. 'star' match. He did work some New Japan before his WCW run...

Sycho Sid vs. Steve Austin- THURSDAY RAW THURSDAY 2/13/97

lol I remember the Thursday Raw Thursday tagline. Thought it was a real dumb name back in the day. Didn't get the reference. Was still HYPED for this show though. Felt like a super special episode of Raw. @ness and others were discussing the chaos surrounding the title scene in '97. Well, this is peak chaos period. Shawn infamously lost his smile on this very show. Austin is one of the participants in the upcoming 4 Way coming up in three days which is now for the vacant Championship. The winner of that match will defend against Sid the next night on Monday Raw Monday. Got all that? Good.

Austin is out first in this PW dream match. He gets a jarringly low key entrance given what would soon become the norm. It's actually Sid who gets benefits from the big WWF production, including pyro spelling out his name. Always thought that was cool. There's very little room from entrance to ring. This seems like one of those buildings they taped Superstars at in 95-96. We're in Lowell, MA for what it's worth. 

Austin has a lot of energy. He's a real house afire as they brawl in and around the ring. We get some "Austin" chants despite Sid being the face. It's starting. Sid hits some laughably bad punches. Seriously in contention for the worst ever. Then he locks in a sleeper for the 2nd Sid match in a row. Who knew the Sleeper was a regular Sid spot? Austin escapes with a Jawbreaker. "It has the same effect as a Stunner! Why isn't Sid dead?"- 1997 me. And 2024 me tbh. Sid hits a bunch of clotheslines. Some good, some bad. At some point Austin dodges a leg drop. Then he tries slapping on an abdominal stretch. It doesn't really work because Sid it too tall. Comes off real awkward. Wilbur Snyder would never.

Then our hero Bret Hart, The Last Sane Man, who has had ENOUGH of all this nonsense, makes the 20 foot stroll from the back to the ring to get some righteous revenge on stupid Stone Cold Steve. Some boos are heard since this is when the American fans turned into a bunch of savages. Bret & Austin brawl. Austin bails. Then Bret & Sid brawl and it's quite comical to see Bret's Very Good wrestling punches vs. Sid's lolworthy punches. Rare ball drop during this period as Austin should have snuck back in to lay them both out. Instead, he apparently retreated to the back with his tail between his legs because he was never seen again. 

Verdict- Disappointing 4 minute nothing match (Sid sucks, though credit to Austin for working hard) and I think the post-match could have been handled better as well.

*Watched a hodgepodge of wrestling over the past few days- 4 WCW matches, 3.5 from Japan, 2 WWF, and 1 ECW. In the immortal words of Bad Ronald, let's begin...

Dusty & Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk & Bunkhouse Buck w/ Colonel Parker & Meng- WCW Clash of the Champions 8/24/94

Forgot/didn't know this match existed despite all those years of studying PWI Almanacs. Knew of the War Games it led to, but for some reason blanked on this one. Actually saw about 5 minutes of this show when it aired at my friend Adam's. It was the same week (if not the very same night in one case) he introduced my brother and I to two all timers in Falling Down and Bloodsport. Neo Zeed would have loved it. Adam was already a lapsed fan*. As was my brother at the time. So we didn't stick with the show long, but I do remember seeing Hogan get attacked by...a masked man? Just investigated and that memory checks out. Score another one for the good guy.

*Adam never did come back. Not even during the big wrestling boom that began in my neighborhood the following year. But he remained weirdly respectful of wrestling. Definitely not a hater. Worked out well for me anyway because I got a bunch of old LJN figures and an old WWF magazine or two in a trade with him. One of those figures was Harley Race. aka: Jerry "The King" Lawler. So Adam, like so many, contributed in some small way to Lawlermania.

I was day one on Bunkhouse Buck. Loved him as this yokel who just fell off the back of the turnip truck. Marked out for Bucksnort, Tennessee. Still do. Immediately went to the closet after Worldwide to grab some Bunkhouse Buck clothes. Then I walked up to Matt The IRS Fan's dressed just like my latest wrestling hero. Buck was still cool by week two. But by week three I reckon I had already turned on the rechristened Bunkhouse Suck. Dude just had NOTHING. He was an old man who really did seem to have just fallen off the back of a turnip truck. His finisher was a simple punch. Not a heart punch or a discus punch. Just a regular punch. That's even worse than the sleeper! If Sid Justice was the first wrestler I thought sucked regardless of push, and Giant Gonzalez the second, then Bunkhouse Suck just might have been the third. 

We get footage of Dusty agreeing to be Dustin's partner. It's good. Dusty is obviously good on the mic. Nowhere near as heartwarming as the Hart Foundation reunion tho. The real highlight here is Dustin's Western-style shirt. Cacti under a starry sky featuring bright yellow patches and pockets. 10/10. Would wear. I wasn't a Dusty guy in 1994 either. He honestly meant nothing to me. I knew him mainly as the annoying polka dot guy in WWF and had no idea what a big star he had once been. At some point during all this it's mentioned that Dusty guest starred (or will guest star) on Burke's Law. I actually watched that show! Not all the time. But once in a while! No recollection of Dusty being on tho. 

For the millionth time, I have no real time recollection of Terry Funk's 1994 WCW run beyond his involvement at Slamboree, and that fact will never stop being weird to me. I wasn't a big Colonel Parker guy. He reminded me too much of Foghorn Leghorn. And Meng as the big badass bodyguard was laughable to 90s me*. That character died for me the first time he got disheveled, and I realized it was just Haku. "lol big bad Ming is just Haku. Haku sucked!"- 94-95 Baker

*This was long before Meng became an updated version of the old Chuck Norris meme. First I heard of his exploits was on a wrestling radio show in 96-97 but the whole "Meng can singlehandedly beat all the armies in the world with hand tied behind his back!" stuff didn't really pick up steam until the rise of Youtube in the mid-late 2000s.

The Dusts are coming out to Dustin's Natural theme and the Old Southerners are NOT coming out to Funk's 1989 NWA theme so I gotta back Team Rhodes here. Buck looks like a cross between Henry Godwinn & Jerome Flynn.

Dusts clown Funk & Buck early. The baddies are good at playing buffoons. The Cedar Rapids crowd is hot hot hot for Dusty. Tony and especially Bobby are fun on commentary. One gets the impression Bobby is tickled pink to call a Funk/Dusty match. Heels eventually take over. But they must have been rushed for time because they only work Dustin over for a minute and then Dusty for another minute before a pair of lukewarm tags. Might not even have been that long tbh. Could have used longer heat segments for sure. Babyfaces come back. Then Arn Anderson attacks for the DQ. Then Meng gets involved. Dusty grabs a wooden chair from under the ring (who knew they were storing weapons under the ring way back in 1994?). He breaks it over Meng's head. Meng no sells. Total rehash of a Dusty/Bubba angle from 86 or 87. BUT I had never seen or heard of it at the time, so we'll give it to 'em. Meng then takes Dusty down with the big, bad....nerve hold. Ugh. Is it any wonder I thought this guy sucked?

Verdict- Good ideas. Not the greatest execution. Should have been better than it was. The build was good, and the post-match great...in theory. But I just don't think any of it came off as well as it should have. The match was rushed, and Meng needed a better death blow than the stupid nerve hold. That's down there with the punch and the sleeper! Also would have worked better if Meng was an actual giant, fat guy, or muscle man rather than just your slightly larger than average wrestler. 

*This one ran long. Figured it would. I should burn through the other 10 more quickly as I don't think the other matches will take as many detours into Storytime.

Taichi vs. Kota Ibushi- NJPW G1 Climax 10/16/20

This was a Lionheart recommendation several months back. Taichi got over with me by having a cool entrance. I am pleased to see he still has a cool entrance. It has a dramatic build, a praying woman, a Phantom of the Opera mask, and he sings his own theme. I've seen Ibushi a few times but have no strong opinion on him. He's your typical 2010s movez guy. Sometimes cool, sometimes dumb. Usually a mix of both. He's jacked here. 

First two minutes consist of these two trading no sold kicks to the butt. Then they spend two more minutes trading no sold kicks to regions that aren't the buttocks. Nope. That was enough for me. I threw in the towel. Tapped out. They literally spent the first 4 minutes of this match trading no sold kicks. No exaggeration. I went back and checked the time to be sure. Dumbest thing I've seen in ages. Roughly 15 minutes remained on the video. Life's too short. Next!

Verdict- Wrestling Hell

Shingo Takagi vs. Taichi- NJPW G1 Climax 7/19/19

Taichi's entrance remains intact. So far Taichi is 0-2 in match quality. But what an entrance! As if you needed further proof I'm a Sports Entertainment Guy 4 Life...

I've never seen Shingo before. Know he had a midcard run in late 2000s ROH, but I wasn't watching at the time. And I once saw somebody unironically call him the GOAT. Memorable because of how outta left field it was. Far as I know he's not even one of the big names in modern NJPW. I figured it was finally time to watch a Shingo match after deciding to give Taichi another try and seeing Shinto’s name pop up as a Taichi opponent. Shingo rocks a mullet and comes to the ring wearing a wolf jaw mask with big teeth. So far so good.

English commentary! Yay! But they spend an inordinate amount of time talking about Shingo being a Tenryu student and Taichi a disciple of Kawada. Taichi being trained by Kawada is interesting and unexpected, but they go so hard on this trainer/student stuff that I assumed it set up a future match (or matches) with Kawada & Tenryu involvement. But no. That does not appear to be the case. Guess they were just killing time during down moments. They also talk about these two being former Junior Heavyweights who upgraded to the heavyweight division and I'm shocked major promotions still bother with lightweight divisions nowadays. Like half the World Champions in every major promotion over the past decade+ are former Cruiserweights! Your average "heavyweight" these days would qualify for WCW's 1992 Light Heavyweight Division. Just give it up and drop the lightweight belts already. Nobody really cares about size anymore.

Shingo jumps Taichi at the bell, but this is mostly real 21st Century ass wrestling. Big move after big move. 2.9 kickouts galore. Nothing hurts. Nothing matters. Some of it is cool! But just as much or more is stupid. Taichi popping right up after a head drop, I'm looking at you. Shingo gets the win with Head Drop #9. 

Verdict- Video Game Wrestling. It is what it is. Disappointing to see even a potentially fun character like Taichi wrestle the house style. I was hoping he'd be better than that. Oh well. Can safely say Shingo is NOT the GOAT. Match would make for a great round of gifs though!

Vampire Warrior vs. Hack Meyers- ECW Barbed Wire, Hoodies, and Chokeslams 6/17/95

Never had this show in white box VHS form. Guessing it's because the show name put me right off. Vamp is Gangrel. Making me think WWECW trotting out a Zombie wasn't the unforgivable sin so many made it out to be (it was still dumb though). VW hails from "The Other Side of Darkness" and his weight is unknown much to Joey's consternation. Hack was a 2nd tier Baker Guy. And not JUST because I worked with his sister ("Downtown" Donna) for about a month OR because he's the oldest looking early 20 something to ever live. He looks like a gay biker on his way to the ring and a 45 year old bum who lives under a bridge after taking off his jacket and beret to wrestle. Not to be outdone by VW on the gimmick hometown front, Hack hails, as always, from "The Last House on the Left." 

Gangrel adapts to his surroundings by hitting an early dive from the top to the floor. Back in the ring Hack comes back with his patented "Shah" punches. Then he hits a cool Foleyesque leg drop on the apron with Gangrel's neck draped across the bottom rope. Then Gangrel scores with a flash DDT for the 1-2-3 as Joey surmises Gangrel HAD to have been taught this very simple move by either Raven or Dreamer. Sure enough it sets up a match with Dreamer later on that very show.

Verdict- Fine little 3 minute match to give Gangrel a little rub before he does the j-o-b to Tommy. Real "Sal Sincere beats Aldo on Superstars before jobbing to Taker two days later on Raw" vibes. And that's fine! That's Pro Wrestling 101. 

Vampires are the least warrior like people. They're wearing puffy shirts, drinking the finest wines, listening to baroque music, looking for the hottest human beings walking the earth to party with for the rest of time (and drink their blood), they're mostly just chilling in luxury. Occasional brooding. Sometimes some shit is gonna go down between a couple of vampires with vampire problems. Yeah, no doubt about that. But there's not a vampire in history where you're like, "That's a warrior right there." Maybe Blade, but that's it. Long story short, Vampire Warrior is an incredibly dumb fucking name by the future Gangrel. It's really no wonder he was jobbing for a decade.

Baker Baker Baker Baker Baker...

I am as perplexed by your love for watching 1/2* matches from notoriously garbage periods of wrestling history (e.g. WCW 2000), as you are by my love for movez and the things you hate about modern wrestling.

Jun 11, 2024 13:51:46 GMT Baker said:

First two minutes consist of these two trading no sold kicks to the butt. Then they spend two more minutes trading no sold kicks to regions that aren't the buttocks. Nope. That was enough for me. I threw in the towel. Tapped out. They literally spent the first 4 minutes of this match trading no sold kicks. No exaggeration. I went back and checked the time to be sure. Dumbest thing I've seen in ages. Roughly 15 minutes remained on the video. Life's too short. Next!

You'll be delighted to know that not only did the first 4 minutes consist of kicks, but so did the last 10+ minutes. That's right - the entire match is kicks, and it's bloody brilliant. During the match I thought it's a concept that could have easily fallen flat on its face (which it did for you). I probably wrote about it in the G1 reviews I do every year...if I did, then you'll see that I rated it ***** and match of the tournament. Not kidding.

Not only was it an original concept but it was executed gloriously. Sure, they "no sold" at first (I'll get to that) but as the match wore on, their legs started to ache, ther bodies started to fatigue, it became harder and harder to kick. The selling was golden. Pure kick-based drama. I felt it. So did the crowd. It was magic. Strangely I don't remember the finish (other than Ibushi winning), one of those rare matches where the entire match is the experience, rather than the high point being the finish.

Regarding the selling. Yeah, they didn't react to the kicks at the start of the match, in the same way that the first punches would do little to no damage in an American match. Watch an MMA fight and a few leg kicks won't cripple anyone. The point is accumulated damage over time. A fundamental concept of wrestling. Start with little moves, as your opponent gets more hurt and worn down, you can hit bigger moves. In this case every move is "kick", but the same principle applies. Enduring the pain, toughing it out, one upmanship, two of the kickiest guys in the company testing themselves to see who is the strongest kicker. All in the umbrella of Japanese strong style. But while watching it I was utterly captivated. To end this long diatribe, it was a fresh idea executed well, which trumps a stale idea executed well. Segue to the next match...

Jun 11, 2024 13:51:46 GMT Baker said:

English commentary! Yay! But they spend an inordinate amount of time talking about Shingo being a Tenryu student and Taichi a disciple of Kawada. Taichi being trained by Kawada is interesting and unexpected, but they go so hard on this trainer/student stuff that I assumed it set up a future match (or matches) with Kawada & Tenryu involvement.

It's pretty common for commentary on Japanese wrestling to talk about the histories of the wrestlers, whether it's their individual histories or previous matches/rivalries. It's akin to worldbuilding in a novel. Adds context and colour to the universe they are wrestling in. With regards to the match itself, you can see Taichi using Kawada style moves (the kicks) while Shingo wrestles in a more bruiser-like style (Tenryu).

Jun 11, 2024 13:51:46 GMT Baker said:

But no. That does not appear to be the case. Guess they were just killing time during down moments. They also talk about these two being former Junior Heavyweights who upgraded to the heavyweight division and I'm shocked major promotions still bother with lightweight divisions nowadays. Like half the World Champions in every major promotion over the past decade+ are former Cruiserweights! Your average "heavyweight" these days would qualify for WCW's 1992 Light Heavyweight Division. Just give it up and drop the lightweight belts already. Nobody really cares about size anymore.

I agree completely. When Moxley entered the G1 for the first time (2019 I think?) and lost to Shingo, not long after Shingo "graduated" from Junior to Heavyweight, Moxley said in his backstage interview "How was this guy a junior heavyweight six months ago?" In the Best of Super Juniors earlier that year, Shingo steamrolled his block 9-0 before losing to Will Ospreay in the final, a modern classic that would make you vomit diarrhea.

Jun 11, 2024 13:51:46 GMT Baker said:

Shingo jumps Taichi at the bell, but this is mostly real 21st Century ass wrestling. Big move after big move. 2.9 kickouts galore. Nothing hurts. Nothing matters. Some of it is cool! But just as much or more is stupid. Taichi popping right up after a head drop, I'm looking at you. Shingo gets the win with Head Drop #9. 

Yeah that's modern NJPW strong style in a nutshell. It's what most fans come to see. To be honest I get tired of the clichés too, not because I think it's terrible wrestling, but because it's overdone. This is a stale idea executed well (probably, I don't remember the match). But this type of match makes NJPW crowds go crazy. There were at least two such matches at the recent Dominion show.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I doubt I ever liked what I call the "delayed sell": one wrestler takes a huge move, pops up immediately, hits a huge move of their own, then collapses, to sell the effect of the first move. I'm sure I was amazed the first time I saw it but it's stupid and way overdone.

Jun 11, 2024 3:23:01 GMT Kilgore said:

Vampires are the least warrior like people. They're wearing puffy shirts, drinking the finest wines, listening to baroque music, looking for the hottest human beings walking the earth to party with for the rest of time (and drink their blood), they're mostly just chilling in luxury. Occasional brooding. Sometimes some shit is gonna go down between a couple of vampires with vampire problems. Yeah, no doubt about that. But there's not a vampire in history where you're like, "That's a warrior right there." Maybe Blade, but that's it. Long story short, Vampire Warrior is an incredibly dumb fucking name by the future Gangrel. It's really no wonder he was jobbing for a decade.

10/10 post. 

Fwiw Gangrel wore the stupid fangs in ECW, but not the puffy shirt. Instead, he wore a plain black singlet. Not sure the "Vampire, but with an amateur wrestling background" look is any better. The one thing you can say in defense of Vampire Warrior over Gangrel is at least the promotion employing VW won't have to pay homage to stupid White Wolf Entertainment at the end of their show. 

Emperor I'll be back for you in about 2 hours.

Jun 11, 2024 19:54:57 GMT Emperor said:

Baker Baker Baker Baker Baker...

I am as perplexed by your love for watching 1/2* matches from notoriously garbage periods of wrestling history (e.g. WCW 2000), as you are by my love for movez and the things you hate about modern wrestling.

A perfectly valid take. Sometimes even I wonder what the hell I am doing. Sometimes it feels like I do it simply because it is what I have "always" done. Sometimes I feel like I'm just spamming the board. But I really do go through phases of wanting to watch a wrestler/era/promotion and have this pathological need to write about it no matter how pointless or mundane it may be. I am weirdly happier watching five throwaway 6 minute tv matches often featuring forgotten figures than watching one "epic" 30 minute match between Hall of Famers. It's 50% masturbation (gotta get those Storytimes in) and 50% tribute to the glorious world of Professional Wrestling in general and the heroes of my youth more specifically (I've come to consider all old school wrestlers heroes of mine. Even the really terrible ones like Hacksaw Jim Duggan).

Watched 16 matches during my recent 2000 WCW binge. Only 2 were Officially Good and 2 borderline good. That's it. In this batch of 11 only 1 is good. It comes from Japan! It even comes from 21st Century Japan! But just barely lol. Yet this is what I enjoy doing. Don't ask me to make it make sense.

Jun 11, 2024 13:51:46 GMT Baker said:

First two minutes consist of these two trading no sold kicks to the butt. Then they spend two more minutes trading no sold kicks to regions that aren't the buttocks. Nope. That was enough for me. I threw in the towel. Tapped out. They literally spent the first 4 minutes of this match trading no sold kicks. No exaggeration. I went back and checked the time to be sure. Dumbest thing I've seen in ages. Roughly 15 minutes remained on the video. Life's too short. Next!

You'll be delighted to know that not only did the first 4 minutes consist of kicks, but so did the last 10+ minutes. That's right - the entire match is kicks, and it's bloody brilliant. During the match I thought it's a concept that could have easily fallen flat on its face (which it did for you). I probably wrote about it in the G1 reviews I do every year...if I did, then you'll see that I rated it ***** and match of the tournament. Not kidding.

Not only was it an original concept but it was executed gloriously. Sure, they "no sold" at first (I'll get to that) but as the match wore on, their legs started to ache, ther bodies started to fatigue, it became harder and harder to kick. The selling was golden. Pure kick-based drama. I felt it. So did the crowd. It was magic. Strangely I don't remember the finish (other than Ibushi winning), one of those rare matches where the entire match is the experience, rather than the high point being the finish.

Regarding the selling. Yeah, they didn't react to the kicks at the start of the match, in the same way that the first punches would do little to no damage in an American match. Watch an MMA fight and a few leg kicks won't cripple anyone. The point is accumulated damage over time. A fundamental concept of wrestling. Start with little moves, as your opponent gets more hurt and worn down, you can hit bigger moves. In this case every move is "kick", but the same principle applies. Enduring the pain, toughing it out, one upmanship, two of the kickiest guys in the company testing themselves to see who is the strongest kicker. All in the umbrella of Japanese strong style. But while watching it I was utterly captivated. To end this long diatribe, it was a fresh idea executed well, which trumps a stale idea executed well. Segue to the next match...

Sounds awful. But I appreciate you going to bat so hard for it. 

Jun 11, 2024 13:51:46 GMT Baker said:

English commentary! Yay! But they spend an inordinate amount of time talking about Shingo being a Tenryu student and Taichi a disciple of Kawada. Taichi being trained by Kawada is interesting and unexpected, but they go so hard on this trainer/student stuff that I assumed it set up a future match (or matches) with Kawada & Tenryu involvement.

It's pretty common for commentary on Japanese wrestling to talk about the histories of the wrestlers, whether it's their individual histories or previous matches/rivalries. It's akin to worldbuilding in a novel. Adds context and colour to the universe they are wrestling in. With regards to the match itself, you can see Taichi using Kawada style moves (the kicks) while Shingo wrestles in a more bruiser-like style (Tenryu).

I'm probably overselling it. It is natural and good to talk about the histories of the wrestlers, but this felt like overkill. I'm over here like "I GET IT! PLZ TALK ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE!"

I'll let you in on a little secret. I doubt I ever liked what I call the "delayed sell": one wrestler takes a huge move, pops up immediately, hits a huge move of their own, then collapses, to sell the effect of the first move. I'm sure I was amazed the first time I saw it but it's stupid and way overdone.

I hate it as well.
============
Next Time: Two mediocre or worse 80s WWF 6 man tags! Plus a Nasty Boys match you just know is bad because Nasty Boys! The Parade of Mediocrity rolls ever on!

Nasty Boys (c) vs. Blue Bloods- WCW Great American Bash 6/18/95- WCW Tag Title Match

Seeing a middle aged man wearing a Nasty Boys shirt in the grocery store over the weekend inspired me to watch a Nasty Boys match. At no point in my life was I ever a fan of the Nasties. Didn't matter whether they were face or heel, WWF or WCW, I was never a Nasty Boys Guy. If anything, they had go away heat with me for the duration of their mainstream wrestling careers. Nowadays I realize they had more good matches than you'd think, and set the template for the out of shape beshirted midcard brawlers who populated the ECW midcard. Nasty Boys have to be the most ECW act to never actually work ECW. These guys were ECW before ECW was even a thing. 

Regal/Blue Bloods were literally the only WCW act I was into during the company's Dark Age which lasted roughly from Summer 94 to Summer 95. Oh, forgot to mention this while Vampire Posting yesterday, but the first time I saw Lord Steven Regal advertised as "coming up next" on Worldwide I thought he was a vampire! The pale skin, hair slicked back, fancy robe...you can't blame me!

Nastys enter to a song as rude, crude, and unrefined as themselves. Points for singing their own theme though. Somehow I even remembered the lyrics. Blue Bloods enter to one of the best themes in company wrestling history. WCW means many different things to many different people, but few things are more pure "WCW" to me than hearing the dulcet tones of Gary Michael Cappetta announce Lord Steven Regal's weight in stones. Love it!

First few minutes are good. Nasties whip the Blue Bloods with their jackets. This sounds lame, but they're not holding back. You hear the SNAP numerous times when a Nasty hits Regal. Blue Bloods take a powder. Regal makes his iconic funny faces and Eaton is only a step or two behind His Lordship at this sort of thing, having had lots of experience playing the wimp in early in matches during his days with the Midnight Express.

Unfortunately, the match peaked there. It just sort of aimlessly meanders along for 15 minutes without ever hooking me or even really settling into a flow. Regal hits a Cactus Elbow. That's interesting. If I had a nickel for every time I saw Regal hit a Cactus Elbow, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that happened twice. And credit to the hot hot hot Dayton crowd for being super into this with many a "Nasty" chant + some "USA" and "Blue Bloods Suck." 

Finish is a mixed bag. Harlem Heat runs in. Book hits the Harlem Hangover on a Nasty. Then Eaton goes up top for some good old fashioned overkill. A Harlem Heat member exiting the ring somehow causes Earl Robert to lose balance and fall from the top. This enables the Nasty who isn't hurt to drop a flying elbow drop and the other Nasty rolls over to pin The Earl of Eaton That finish was too clever for its own good. Just let the Blue Bloods win! They were the best act in the company! Give them 6 months with the straps. Heat and the Nasties had their turns. But nooo! WCW clearly was not after my dimes until September.

BUT that finish would have had 1995 on the edge of my seat. I'd have marked out soooo hard for that Harlem Hangover and then just about died of sadness when Beautiful Bobby fell from the top. Would have been among the most dramatic 10 seconds of that entire year. Pretty sure this led to a "Triangle Match" (yeah, WCW was experimenting with Triple Threats long before WWF) at the next PPV where the Blue Bloods once again failed to bring home the gold. This company deserved to die.

Verdict- *

Hillbilly Jim/Junkyard Dog/Billy Jack Haynes vs. Don Muraco/Ron Bass/Bob Orton- Superstars 7/18/87

I can be a real dummy at times. Like Charlie Brown kicking the football, there are certain things I tend to fall for over and over. One example is continually getting excited to watch Colossal Jostles despite deep down knowing they usually suck. Another is when I stumble across a cool on paper 6 man tag from 1987 WWF tv. They inevitably end up being rush jobs with cheap DQ or Countout finishes. Yet I just can't pass them up. This time it's a near 8 minute video. I think I've hit the jackpot. But then we get the Superstars intro, show hype, commentary putting over the great city of Indianapolis, introductions, and the video only has a few minutes left by the time the match actually begins. Faces come out to JYD's Grab Them Cakes and this is so old school the heels don't even have entrance music. 

Bass & JYD open the proceedings. JYD gets the better of him with headbutts. They both tag out. Now it's Muraco vs. Haynes in a battle of power vs. power. BJH gets the better of this exchange with a shoulderblock. More tag outs. Now it's Hillbilly vs. Orton. Hillbilly does a cartwheel and Orton bumps out of the ring off a big boot that clearly missed by a foot. Hillbilly is one of the worst of this era* but this looked to be Orton's fault. Muraco comes over to console his partner, but a flummoxed Orton takes a swing at the Magnificent One. They end up shoving each other and arguing. Orton is counted out. Good guys win. Hillbilly Jim's theme plays.

Verdict- Felt like a fun first 3 minutes of a 10 minute match with the good guys gaining the upper hand because, as good guys, they're "better" than the bad guys. Unfortunately, the rest of the match never existed. It abruptly ended after a few minutes of the babyfaces clowning the heels. * or less.

*Hillbilly or Hacksaw is my choice for worst on the face side and Nikolai for the heel side. All those guys are worse than your Dino Bravos and Warlords imo. The one thing you can say in defense of Hillbilly/Hacksaw/Volkoff is at least they got reactions. So I'm not sure I can call them THE worst ever, but they still have to be down there. 

Demolition & King Duggan vs. Twin Towers & Andre The Giant w/ Slick- Summerslam 8/28/89

lol. This ties in with how I started the last review. A long time ago I posted something like "it's a shame Demolition and the Twin Towers never feuded or had many major matches. That would have ruled!" Well, it turns out they did feud and have some major matches. Shame on Old PW Baker for not knowing/forgetting this. I reviewed one of their matches a while back. It was nothing special. Despite being a fan of Demolition and the Towers, I had avoided this one until now because of Duggan's involvement. 

How about that Andre/Towers team? Over 1300 pounds of beef on that side. The theme game is strong as the Giant Towers enter to the iconic Jive Soul Bro and the babyfaces to Demolition's even more iconic theme. Duggan wears a black Demolition mask to the ring. That's cute. He unmasks to reveal a face painted in the style of the American flag. Classic Jim Duggan. Oh, he is only referred to as "King" Duggan here. Not "Hacksaw" or "Jim." Just "King." The WWF branding game was always strong. Gotta be one of the worst kings, if not THE worst, in WWF history tho.

We begin with the 457 pound Akeem taking a beating, bumping all over the place, like he's a jobber. Iron Mike Akeem. Akeem Mike Sharpe? From there things happen. Smash & Bossman were the standouts. Bossman is just solid all around while Smash had a genuinely great hot tag, slamming both Towers, giving a primal roar, really popping the crowd. I get a kick not so much out of immobile old Andre, but in the way people bounce off him like he has the shock power of Tecmo Super Bowl Bo Jackson. Or given his lack of speed, maybe "Mule Horse" Jamie Mueller would be the better comparison? The Buffalo Bills fullback was so slow he would shock 5 would-be tacklers only to still end up with just a 3 yard gain. The parade of tackling slowpokes in Dusty Diamond's also work as an Andre comparison- Claude, Big Al, Diablo, etc. Guys who would tackle 3 would-be taggers on the way from third base to home only to be tagged out by the 4th. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Crowd was into it with "USA" chants. Bad guys look to have it won when Akeem hits a flying fat man splash from above on a Demolition dude only for that scoundrel Duggan to whack "The African Dream" in the back with a shot from a 2x4 naturally wrapped in Old Glory. Duggan then rolls over the Demolition guy to give the babyfaces a cheap victory brought on by cheating. Hacksaw Jim Duggan was the worst. Twin Towers & Andre were robbed!

Verdict- under **

Randy Savage vs. Meng w/ Taskmaster & Jimmy Hart- WCW Nitro 11/13/95

Meng comes to the ring wearing a sweet Oriental style mask. Macho Man foreshadows his future with the NWO by dressing in all black and hailing from THE DARKSIDE OF VENICE BEACH. Wtf? He's always been from Sarasota! When did he relocate to Venice Beach? And how does one get to its Dark Side?

Whoa! Savage uses his new DARKSIDE powers to sneak attack Meng from behind before the bell rings. Meng SUCKS at bumping. Never noticed that before. But he's good at chopping, decent enough at kicking, and Savage is good at selling, so the match picks up once Meng takes control. Then Meng collides with Jimmy Hart on the apron. Jimmy's megaphone catches Meng in the head. This enables Savage to bodyslam a woozy Meng and follow up with the flying elbow for the win. 

But wait! Post-match sees Luger attack Savage and wreck his arm by wrapping it around the turnbuckle post over and over. Aha! This is why Savage had an injured arm going into their World War III encounter. I "remembered" that one ending in a rare babyface submission when Savage could no longer take the arm pain, but the recent "Babyfaces Quitting" thread taught me it was actually a ref stoppage. 

Verdict- *. Nothing to see here.

Maxx w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Todd Morton- WCW Worldwide 8/24/96

Look, I didn't set out to watch this. It popped up in my feed and I couldn't say no because when am I ever going to watch a Maxx match again? Btw this is Maryland's own Maxx Muscle rather than the superior Maxx Payne. Mr. Muscle had a cup of coffee as DDP's bodyguard in 1995 and was in the Dungeon of Doom for a minute in 1996. This is during his DoD run. He's a jacked fellow who resembles WWE's Luther Reigns. I had no opinion on him as a wrestler. Not sure I ever saw him wrestle before this match. Actually, I think I saw him wrestle at my local indie, MCW, after he left WCW. BUT I still don't remember ever seeing him wrestle in WCW. Unless....did he work World War III 1995?

Todd Morton is a Ricky Morton trainee who dresses and looks like his mentor, blond mullet and all. The DVDVR guys loved him when he was working IWA-Mid South in the early 2000s. Didn't get the appeal myself.

This was honestly a perfectly fine muscleman squash. Not as bad as I was expecting. Morton bumped and sold well. Maxx was fine at power stuff and looking intimidating. Braun the Leprechaun ran out and then ran to the back. Heenan hilariously dubbed Maxx's stupid mohawk "the reverse Okerlund." Maxx won with a basic Full Nelson. THEN he swung Morton around with the Ken Patera swinging Full Nelson (even called as such by Bobby) after the match. That was dumb. Should have used the more advanced Nelson for the win. 

Verdict- Vintage Saturday morning wrestling

Minoru Tanaka vs. Ikuto Hidaka- Battlarts 3/25/00

Minoru Tanaka was another turn of the century DVDVR darling and Battlarts a DVDVR darling promotion. Pretty sure this is both my first Tanaka match and my first Battlarts match. Tanaka later went to NJPW where he got a big push as the masked "HEAT" with the idea of having him follow in the footsteps of Tiger Mask and Liger as the top (masked) Junior. His HEAT run must have flopped hard because I hadn't seen the guy's name in a good 20 years.

It's been 25 years now and I still can't get Hidaka's name right without cheating. He had a cup of coffee in turn of the century ECW and I actually saw him live at both ECW and ROH. Fwiw he appeared in the latter once where he teamed with Dick Togo. Stuart was a Hikada fan which honestly prejudiced me against him, though Ikudo was fine as a "good wrestler guy." He wears some extremely 90s baggy shorts. 

Best bout of this 14(?) match batch by a country mile. Just some real solid professional wrestling of the variety you'd see in a classic Super J-Cup or on an early ROH show. Had a bit of everything- leg work, submissions, hard hitting, suplexes, even a dive or two. Hidaka seemed to be working a Master of the Tornado DDT gimmick as he hit a few different versions of the move, but it was Tanaka who would emerge victorious with a suplex transitioned into a submission for the win. While they did a lot, they also let stuff breathe, and sold in between big moves, rather than dumb move trading and go-go-go the entire time. 

Verdict- Recommended! Admittedly never reached that next level, but ***1/2 sounds about right. Just some good solid meat and potatoes wrestling.

Low Ki vs. Silver King- AJPW 10/26/03

No way I could pass up this oddity. Silver King has my hairline (poor guy) and dwarfs Low Ki despite being a Cruiserweight himself. 

This was real disappointing. Maybe the most lethargic performance I've seen from Low Ki during this period. A big part of Low Ki's "charm" lies in him being an unprofessional asshole who thinks wrestling is real. He scowls around looking miserable, shoot kicking people, while wrestling at his own pace. I guess he must have respected Silver King? Because we get none of the Low Ki you know and (maybe) love. Heck, you could argue he even got outkicked by Silver King! Silver King's superkick downed Low Ki after several Ki kicks failed to down King. Highlight was the first two minutes with some super fast counter-based mat wrestling. Rest of it was honestly a slog. The wrestlers didn't seem invested, and the apathetic crowd definitely weren't. Low Ki wins with a rather dodgy Phoenix Splash after King had already survived the Ki Krusher. Ki winning makes it even more interesting. I assumed he was jobbing since he seemed to be dogging it and we all know Ki hates doing jobs. Maybe he was just jetlagged?

Verdict- Under **. Disappointing.

Curtis "The Cat" Hughes vs. The Russian Brute w/ Ox Baker- AWA tv 3/31/90

The Brute is a husky fellow with a tiny head who comes out to the Soviet National Anthem. He's notoriously bad. Ox Baker can barely move and has all sort of weird lumps and craters in his head. I don't know if I can ever forgive the commentary team for bringing up Ox Baker's fascinating surface-of-the-moon like cranium. Greg Gagne on commentary keeps trying to get "Pinhead" over as an insult for the Brute a la "Paula" for Orndorff or "Irwin" for IRS.

I must be going soft because I actually enjoyed this on some level. Oh, it was basic as can be. Doesn't take a genius to realize these two big boys were total greenhorns. But I was not bored because this match was hilarious. I laughed no fewer than 4 times at the Brute's comical sells and facial expressions. Brute & Baker were comedy gold throughout while the future Mr. Hughes did a lot of dancing and headbutting in the style of JYD. He also did a bunch of jumping butt attacks. What we called it the "The Bee Sting" back in the day. Brute & Baker set Hughes up for Ox's dreaded Heart Punch after a ref bump. Hughes predictably moved. Brute takes the blow instead and delivers again with another funny sell straight outta Punchout. Hughes covers for the win around the 7-8 minute mark.

Post-match promo time. Ox badmouths Brute in his usual Abe Simpson-like manner. Then he calls his own charge "Pinhead!" What a jerk!

Verdict- Comedy gold. Now I want to book the Brute as a "Festus" in a tag team with a little guy who has a Napoleon complex. *remembers yesterday's review* Like Low Ki! God, a Ki/Brute tag team with a Napoleon/Festus dynamic would rule so hard. 

Buddy Landel vs. Steve Armstrong- SMW 5/13/95- Figure Four Match

Landel is SMW champ, but the title is not on the line. I always get my S. Armstrongs confused. One is alright, the other sucks. This must be the decent one who teamed with Tracy Smothers in WCW because he's wearing his old "Young Pistols" trunks. Only way to win is by Figure Four.

Landel does some decent Zbyszkoesque stalling and jawing. The Armstrong isn't playing around. He keeps going for the Figure Four. Buddy keeps escaping or grabbing rope to break the hold. Don't think the Armstrong did anything else other than try to win the match with F4. Interesting to note he's using the Hogan/Dusty style without the twirl. Buddy at least hits a punch or two. Armstrong finally traps Buddy with the F4 in the middle of the ring. But that dastardly Budro throws powder in his eyes. I forget what became of the ref. Probably bumped. Who cares? Buddy then locks on the F4. Again, Hogan/Dusty style sans twirl. What's up with that? Armstrong is pinned (with shoulders clearly up) rather than submitted because we gotta protect the guy who just spent the last half decade jobbing on WCW tv. 

Verdict- Could have been an interesting stipulation with more time and the right wrestlers, but this wasn't it. Match ended just as it should have been getting good. 

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Barry Horowitz- Raw 10/2/95

Couldn't make it through a hodgepodge binge without going back to my own personal Golden Age. Unsurprisingly this was my 2nd favorite match of the batch. I'm in my wrestling happy place when Barry enters to Hava Nagila accompanied by "Barry" chants and Helmsley follows looking resplendent and bowing away while his own classy theme plays. Then we cut to footage last week of a Taker/Bulldog match that ended with Mabel and Dudes With Attitude running in to set up the famous Camp Cornette vs. HBK/Diesel/Taker the week after HHH/Horowitz. Why do I suddenly have the urge to sing Springsteen's Glory Days?

Vince & Lawler are a hoot on commentary as they speculate on the upcoming OJ verdict (call WWF Hotline to vote- Guilty or Not- only 50 cents per vote!) with heel Lawler being pro-OJ. Then they talk about the Pope coming to America. He's invited to WWF at MSG! This must have been around the time my mom and my Aldo Montoya-loving cousin saw the Pope in Baltimore. 

This would already be a win based on that stuff alone, but the match itself is also good! HHH is real mean on offense- great Flair Chops and European Uppercuts. Barry fires back with a bunch of pinning combinations for nearfalls that the crowd totally buys into because they've seen him win matches like that before. Then H kills him dead with a Pedigree when Barry ducks early for a back body drop. Barry naturally takes the move like a champ. Real Foley style.

Rant: Crowd chanted "Barry" throughout. My guy Horowitz really was one of the most popular wrestlers in the company from like July-November. He was organically over. I thought for sure his "Rocky" story would end with him capturing gold. Most likely the tag titles with Hakushi. Still think WWF did him dirty by dropping his whole push. Had they followed it through to its conclusion I'd be even higher on 95-96 WWF!

Verdict- Pretty much the ideal 5-6 minute tv match. Behind only Tanaka/Hidaka in this most recent batch of bouts. 

Lex Luger vs. Owen Hart- Action Zone 12/11/94

This was the only match I slipped in over the course of a busy weekend. And this is a big match for 1994 WWF! Is it just me or did these early Action Zone episodes have stronger matches than Raw? Because it certainly seems that way. 

This is extremely 1994 as we get a rare Charlie Minn sighting and have Vince & Todd on commentary. I'm not a fan of this duo. They're too similar what with both being hyperactive babyface carnival barkers. Pettengill is basically Vince Jr. 

This was an average at best 7 minute tv match that honestly felt like them going through the motions. I reckon the lousy crowd, who could only muster up a few light half-hearted "USA" chants and sat on their hands aside from two youthful exceptions, is largely responsible for that general feeling of lethargy.

Owen got the jump on Luger before the bell, but Flexy Lexy soon came back. Then Owen took over after one of his patented Spinkicks. Owen controlled for a few minutes with his typical excellently executed offense. Then Luger crotched Owen on top (which Owen took like a brave little champ) and hit a Superplex to commence his comeback. He hit his usual moves and won with the Loaded Forearm of Doom when the ref missed Owen getting his foot on the bottom rope to give "The King of Harts" an out. The wrestling was fine, but the match never felt urgent if that makes sense. The dead crowd made it feel like wrestling in a vacuum.

Verdict- Not as good as their match from 1993 that I reviewed back in September 2023 where I put Luger's performance over big time.

Marc Mero w/ Jacqueline vs. Droz- Breakdown 9/27/98

UT put over heel Mero a little bit yesterday so I decided to give "Marvelous" Marc a look today. Unfortunately, the pickings were slim since being a midcarder during the Attitude Era meant a whole lot of under 5 minute matches. This one went 6 and was on PPV! Fwiw I was largely indifferent Mero's run in real time which actually marked a step up from where he had been with me over the previous 5 years. 

Speaking of indifference, it's Droz. I have never come across anybody with an opinion on Droz beyond "it's sad that he got hurt." Never met a Droz fan. Never met a Droz hater. He's just a guy who was there. Who knew he was working singles matches on PPV? Certainly not this guy. Droz has to be one of the most forgettable wrestlers of the Attitude Era (Jose & Jesus being 1a and 1b). Feel like Droz might miss out on the Forgettable Five just because of the career ending injury, but he has to be Top 10 contender.

Mero is out first. He wears a pretty sweet boxing robe, a smug expression, and the very short Jacqueline (who has apparently already been around for 4 months) accompanies him. Mero has some decent heel swagger. Seeing heel Mero reminds me of his cool TKO finisher. One thing I've touched on before is being surprised Mero didn't have more of a hardcore fan following just because he had some cool moves- Shooting Star Press, Merosault, TKO, Super Frankensteiner, that flip dive Heenan always put over huge in WCW, and a few slingshot moves. Yet it's also weird how he never had a decent finisher in WCW and took about 5 months to finally get one in WWF.

Droz is out next. Or "The Droz" according to the onscreen graphic. I chuckled. The Drake. The Donald. The Droz. I guess it works. (The) Droz looks like he totally should have been the third Headbanger rather than a third wheel in the OLD version of LOD.

Match is pretty basic. Honestly as forgettable as Droz himself. Droz leaves his feet a lot, hitting a decent dropkick, the D-Von/Smothers jawjacker elbow, and a jumping shoulder block. He doesn't punch very well. JR & King go real hard in putting him over as a wild and crazy guy. They spend roughly half the match talking about how wacky Droz is. Mero hit a nice knee lift, Heenan's favorite flip dive, and eats Droz's knees on a slingshot splash. Finish comes when Jacqueline goes all 1996 WCW with a top rope shoe attack on Droz as Mero has the ref distracted. Mero then breaks out his Shooting Star Press (now dubbed "Marvelocity") for the win. Forgot he went back to that during his heel run. I always associate the (still very cool!) TKO with heel Mero.

Verdict- Under **. Mero showed some decent heel presence but it's hard to get too much of a read on him in a 5-6 minute match with such a blank slate as Droz. Yet 5-6 minutes is double what Mero usually got during his heel run because Attitude Era.

Nobuhiko Takada vs "The Smashing Machine" Mark Kerr
Pride 6(1999)

This is an officially recognized MMA fight that is on Kerr and Takada's official records, but watching it after knowing what I know about Takada and shoot style pro wrestling that Pride was born out of, I'm 100% sure this was a shoot style worked pro wrestling match. Takada was money in the bank as far as a box office draw. The entire Pride promotion was created on the back of Takada taking on Rickson Gracie in the Tokyo Dome in 1997 in a match that had years of build. That bout was a shoot I'm sure(though the rematch I'm suspicious that Rickson let Takada last a little longer for the sake of entertainment perhaps was paid for it).

The Rock is about to play Mark Kerr in an upcoming Biopic called "The Smashing Machine". Kerr at this point is the #1 baddest dude on the planet. Hes got 2 UFC tournament titles but the UFC at this point was near death barely surviving, they couldn't afford to pay him so he had jumped to Pride FC in Japan, which was big time selling out stadiums in Japan thriving(primarily because of Takada). At this point in 1999 the UFC would be like ECW and Pride was WWF to make a pro wrestling comparison. It was that big of a gap in popularity and money.

So this bout is clearly a pro wrestling match. The story going in is that Takada hurt his arm in training for this bout but he has enough heart that he's going to take on the baddest motherfucker on Earth anyways even with the injury. Its not about winning and losing to the Japanese crowd like it is to meathead retard MMA fans in the USA, in Japan it was about your heart and how much of a fight you put up. In Pride, you could lose every fight but if you brought the heat and went out on your shield every time the fans were going to love you and bring you back.

So Takada stands his ground and hits Kerr with his trademark kicks to the leg over and over again. Kerr gets the takedown and lands some stiff shots, but not the murderous shots he was known for. Nothing stiffer than your average Rings/UWFI/PWFG matches. Sure enough Kerr works his way into a sweet Kimura/double wristlock from the top mount position on Takada's hurt/bandaged arm for the victory in just a few minutes. After winning Kerr is selling the bruises on his leg from Takada's kick almost like he's posing for the ringside photographers to get a shot of it.

Well done shoot style wrestling bout here to sell tickets and keep the sport of MMA thriving. This was critical for the sport even existing today on the level it does.

The big thing about the finish I always post about on PW is that this position for the Kimura was what Brock Lesnar should have copied. I always thought his Kimura off his back for a finisher was so goofy. This way Kerr does it here is so much stronger looking and more dramatic.



Also I got the UFC Fight Pass last night to check some stuff out, watched Randy Couture's UFC debut at 39(my age now), he looked like a 50 year old man, but he beats Tony Halme aka Ludvig Borga great stuff.

Owen Hart & Davey Boy Smith (c) w/ Clarence Mason vs. Doug Furnas & Phil Lafon- In Your House Final Four 2/16/97- Tag Title Match

Watched this because these four were recently mentioned in UT's 96-97 WWF thread.

I was convinced Furnas & Lafon were going to be WWF's next great tag team (an even better version of the Steiner Brothers!) when they debuted in style at Survivor Series '96. They were destined to take the tag titles from my boys Owen & Bulldog in what was bound to be the 1997 MOTY and then go on to hold them for a near eternity. Of course, this turned out to be another in a long line of lousy predictions (though I did pick some winners as well!). 

Ugh. Clarence Mason. I get out of how he got into the business. Legend has it he was just a superfan who pestered WWF management until they finally caved and gave him an onscreen role. I liked him as Cornette's slick lawyer who would occasionally show up to be a thorn in the side of corrupt commissioner Monsoon. But I turned on Mason hard when he STOLE Owen & Bulldog from Corny. Plus, he sucked as an actual manager. He didn't do anything! Didn't interfere. Didn't take bumps. Didn't even cut promos. They'd have got just as much out of a mannequin at ringside.

This was decidedly NOT the 1997 MOTY. It wasn't even good. Very disappointing, in fact. Took forever to get going. Lafon ran the ropes like he either had a load in his pants or was desperately trying to avoid dropping a load in his pants. Owen & Davey didn't bring their A games either. It didn't really pick up until Furnas tagged in approximately 6-7 minutes into this 10-11 minute affair. Some of the moves were cool! F&L had one real nifty double team sequence I shared in the Gif Thread once upon a time. Owen accidentally spinkicking Davey looked good. Bulldog hit a dropkick at some point. That was weird. I'm sure he hit dropkicks back when he teamed with Dynamite, but I don't remember him doing that move during this two year heel run. F&L hit some suplexes. But it was all real mechanical, like one of those awful Quiet Storm/Chris Devine matches.

Match was built around dissention between Owen & Bulldog. They bumped into each other a few times. Had a few shoving matches. Generally appeared to be on the outs. 1997 me was gutted about this btw. Thank you, St. Bret d'Alberta for bringing those two crazy kids back together again. And for once there is no irony behind me typing out Bret's full honorific. Finish was too clever for its own good. Bulldog is about to Bulldog Powerslam one of "the Furnaces" (TM Youngest of the Three Brothers) when Owen stupidly hits the Furnace with his Slammy right in front of the ref, meaning Furnas & Lafon win the match without winning the titles. Goes to show WWF already had no confidence in The Furnaces since they wouldn't even let them cleanly go over a team that can't get along.

Postmatch sees Bulldog break Owen's Slammy!   NOOO! That's crossing the line. I honestly would have been fine with Owen breaking Bulldog's neck for that insolence. 

Verdict- Disappointing. Average at best.

*Next Up: 5 matches featuring ECW "Cruiserweights"...outside of ECW

Owen Hart vs. Shawn Michaels
RAW 1997

If nothing else, the recent discussion got me to go back and revisit this match. Owen was supposed to challenge Triple H for the European Championship but HHH wasn't medically cleared for the match. As a make-up match, Slaughter booked Owen vs. Shawn for the WWF Championship.

The WWF are trying really hard to sell the significance of the match. Even Lawler is behind Owen, although maybe that shouldn't come as a surprise, Lawler was an Owen supporter in 94-96, did he stay loyal despite Owen realigning with Bret?

I thought it was a really effective shine-heat-comeback match. Owen's opening fire is really strong as he beats Shawn from pillar to post up the ramp, around ring-side and then back in the ring. Plenty of movement just to sell the ferocity of Owen's beating and Shawn is at the top of his game selling the assault. Chyna gets involved and the match takes a turn. Suddenly it's Shawn in control and he dishes out plenty of offence of his own as Owen bumps for the Heart-Break Kid.

The match turns again when Owen reverses an Irish whip and HBK does the Stevens bump on the turnbuckle. Owen with an enzuguri, the same move that almost ended Shawn's career and he doesn't waste anytime - it's the Sharpshooter! He's too close to the ropes and somehow HHH misses with the first attempt with the crutches, but manages to hit him the next time and we quickly cut to the finish.

As expected it was an enjoyable match and made for a nice TV match to help keep the WWF relevant while WCW fumbled Sting and Bret. Did it really need a sequel so Hunter could do the same thing again? No. Could they have delayed this match and given us an extended director's cut on PPV? Sure, but the way they did it they had made their cake and ate it as well. One thing I will say is that this period of Shawn's career, right up until the casket match, is peak Michaels and he was never quite able to surpass it, even if he got close with Taker a few times in the late 00s.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Furnas and Lafon were just hilariously out of place in the WWF. I get the impression that JR and Corny loved them and were familiar with their work outside of the WWF, but all Vince saw was this bland 'wrestling' tag team and immediately buried them because how are you supposed to sell action figures with that?

Have they had a run in the ring of the hawk yet? They feel like perfect contenders, although I doubt they'll make the hawk squawk.

(Extremely recent I know but I needed somewhere to complain and didn't want to bump the WM watch party thread for it alone)

WWE UnIvErSaL (god I fucking hate saying that) Championship Match - Roman Reigns (c) vs. Cody Rhodes - WMXL

It's not bad. There's a lot of fun spots and great energy here tbf. It felt and looked like a true Mania main event. I enjoyed the finish stealing and Roman's shit talking heel antics. I will emphasize that there was really good storytelling here...

But things really start falling apart with the run-in's. The Bloodline I get, it's a continuation of the story and is meant to build up our sense of Cody's resilience. Jey/Jimmy had great energy with a fun ramp dive, Solo was awesome and further added a sense of desperation to it all. The Rock & Seth? Sure, why not, makes sense...

But I don't need nor want Grandpa Taker & Cena's bald spot in there for nostalgic staredowns, a la "but they have history". It really bogged down what was an otherwise epic match. Cody calling out Triple H to celebrate after was fucking cheesy. This was Cody's moment but it felt like too many times he was more of an accessory than a feature and it rubbed me the wrong way.

I just do not get the love. Happy for Cody, but it was far from perfect like some fans were making it sound.

****

Jul 5, 2024 7:39:19 GMT rad said:

But I don't need nor want Grandpa Taker & Cena's bald spot in there for nostalgic staredowns, a la "but they have history". It really bogged down what was an otherwise epic match. Cody calling out Triple H to celebrate after was fucking cheesy. This was Cody's moment but it felt like too many times he was more of an accessory than a feature and it rubbed me the wrong way.

For the most part I loved the match but Taker was one step too far.

Cena's involvement made sense because he had a feud with Solo Sikoa in the summer, ending with Solo taking out Cena. Taker was completely random, pure fan service. I dared to speak against this in the Wrestlemania thread and was shut down. On the whole it was an awesome match and moment in wrestling history. The Taker appearance is the only real criticism I have.

Jul 5, 2024 8:11:25 GMT Emperor said:

Jul 5, 2024 7:39:19 GMT rad said:

But I don't need nor want Grandpa Taker & Cena's bald spot in there for nostalgic staredowns, a la "but they have history". It really bogged down what was an otherwise epic match. Cody calling out Triple H to celebrate after was fucking cheesy. This was Cody's moment but it felt like too many times he was more of an accessory than a feature and it rubbed me the wrong way.

For the most part I loved the match but Taker was one step too far.

Cena's involvement made sense because he had a feud with Solo Sikoa in the summer, ending with Solo taking out Cena. Taker was completely random, pure fan service. I dared to speak against this in the Wrestlemania thread and was shut down. On the whole it was an awesome match and moment in wrestling history. The Taker appearance is the only real criticism I have.

Having thought it over a little more and now knowing that, I'd bump it up to ****1/2. Thanks for filling me in, not sure how I forgot about commentary mentioning their history after watching it. Another reminder of why I need to not react post.

But switch Austin with Taker there and I'd probably have it as near perfect, that pop and image alone would shut me up.

I also didn't mention it but I thought the Seth/Shield bait and switch was actually awesome (other than the instantaneous bump). Completely took me by surprise, almost half expected to see Mox come out even though I knew better lol.

*A few weeks back I watched a bunch of ECW "Cruiserweights" outside of ECW. Now I'm finally writing about it.

Jamie Noble (c) w/ Nidia vs. Tajiri- No Mercy 10/20/02- Cruiserweight Title Match

I wasn't a Jamie Noble guy. Still wanted my cruiserweights to do kewl movez. Noble didn't. And his character just annoyed me. Maybe he'll work better for me in 2024. I was a Tajiri guy. But I'll admit to losing track of him for long stretches of his WWE run. Yeah, booking is largely to blame, but outside a random Smackdown match with Test that happened to be awesome, I have no idea what Tajiri was doing in 2002.

This was alright/average. Noble works the back and does a lot of trash talking- usually "get up boy!" Tajiri pays lip service to the sore back and has an awesome comeback as he was one of the best offensive wrestlers in the game. Nidia interferes to help Noble get a cheap win. Post-match sees Tajiri plant a kiss on Nidia and kick a jealous Noble in the head which ends up knocking out both of Yoshihiro's antagonists.

Psicosis vs. Super Crazy- XPW 8/31/02

XPW upset every other east coast indie fan and promotion by signing an exclusive deal to run at the former ECW arena. It was a really big deal at the time! This is the first of those shows. Fwiw XPW didn't last that long in the Arena. It's also Super Crazy's debut. He weirdly wrestles in an IWA Puerto Rico shirt. Psicosis looks like a total sleazeball. He's on a losing streak here in XPW.

Best thing about this was Psicosis choosing to work heel. ECW Arena crowd leaned Crazy since he had worked the arena more recently than Psi, so Psicosis leaned into the heel role. Crazy was more impressive despite a cool Psi bump or two. Crazy took most of the match, but it would be Psicosis who scored the win, ending his losing streak with a front superplex followed by an iffy Alabama Jam. This was also fine, albeit a teeny tiny bit behind Tajiri/Noble in that **1/2 range. 

Chuck Palumbo/Johnny Stamboli/Nunzio vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman/Ultimo Dragon- Velocity 10/25/03

This was a blast. Best match of the bunch. They got a ton of time at 10 minutes. Slipped in 2 or 3 nearfalls that got me. I'm not expecting nearfalls in Velocity matches! The babyfaces had flash and the FBI were good goon heels. Cole and Josh Matthews were a hoot on commentary. Chuck showed off his best punches in the fed and drilled Dragon with a Superkick into Nunzio pin for one heck of a climax. This was basically to Velocity what Acolytes vs. Mideon & Viscera was to Jakked. High praise indeed! Recommended. *** or more.

Lightning Kid vs. Jerry Lynn- GWF tv 7/13/91- GWF Light Heavyweight Title Tournament Final

This was a smark favorite feud I don't think I've ever seen anything from before. Lightning Kid is a scrawny teenage X-Pac. Wild to think he'd land a WWF deal less than two years later with that look. Lynn has shorter hair than you're used to but is in good shape. He looks like a modern wrestler tbh. Wild to think he wouldn't land a mainstream wrestling gig for another 4 years and wouldn't get a serious push in a quasi-major for 7-8 years.

This was a fun but flawed match with a lot of the charm coming from having one foot in the future and the other firmly planted in 1991. Kid stiffs Lynn with some shockingly modern kicks, they do some modern armbarring, and Kid hits a nutty dive from the ring to this raised platform deal. But some stuff wasn't ready for prime time, and they recycled the Savage/Santana IC Title change foreign object finish. This was more a fun historical curiosity than a must-see match.

Juventud Guerrera (c) vs. Kid Kash- Armageddon 12/18/05- Cruiserweight Title Match

I have no recollection of Juvy being Cruiserweight champ. He didn't translate well to WWE imo. Neither did Kash, who I loved in 2003 TNA. 

They worked hard but this match bombed. Crowd was dead as a corpse. The dreaded "BORING" chant even reared its ugly head. Could have been a case of the fans wanting to see high flying "cruiserweight" action and these two basically giving them Greg Valentine vs. Ron Garvin. Or maybe it's because Juvy wasn't a good babyface. Or more likely it's just WWE fans not giving a hoot about Cruiserweight wrestling. Both guys hit hard to the point where it seemed unprofessional at times. Kash was a real mean heel. Juvy hit a nutty super frankensteiner. But it just never came together. Kash wins with a lousy brainbuster. Under **.

Spike Dudley (c) vs. Funaki- Armageddon 12/12/04- Cruiserweight Title Match

This match gets a hype video! Spike has been Cwt. champ for a long time as the heel "Boss." Funaki was the unlikely winner of a #1 Contender battle royal on a recent Smackdown. Spike cuts a promo. He looks kinda like early 2000s me and actually reminds me of Christian on the stick. Now it's Funaki's turn. He's basically a mascot for Smackdown. It's adorable. Spike dickishly cuts him off. Funaki gives him the business. And it's on.

Spike is using the original Dudley theme which is superior to the more famous Dudley theme. My theory about WWE fans not giving a hoot about Cruiserweight wrestling is confirmed as it's back-to-back dead crowds for an Armageddon Cruiserweight title match. This just isn't a good matchup as both are best as undersized faces selling and bumping for bigger opponents. They're actually awfully similar if you think about it. Anyway, Funaki hurts his ribs on one nutty bump to the floor. Spike targets the midsection. Funaki sells. And, umm, yeah. That about sums up this match. It makes sense! But it's also dry and not a single person in the crowd cares. Funaki ends up winning with a cheap rollup as the crowd goes mild. I did remember Fu winning the Cwt. title at some point, but thought it came much later. Nicest thing I can about this is at least the nearfalls came off rollups rather than death blows. Under **

Hangman Page vs. Jeff Jarrett- AEW Dynamite 7/3/24- Owen Hart Tournament

This was a good match. Jarrett's mid-50s AEW run continues to quite possibly be the best in ring stretch of his career. Jarrett's early AEW matches relied on him generating heat and high drama by resorting to every dirty, rotten, low down, old school heel trick in the book. Then he hit a stretch where the formula and booking became too goofy for its own good. And this time he's in the most unlikely role of all as a white meat veteran babyface after cutting a heartfelt promo about how much his old friend Owen Hart meant to him and what an honor it would be to win a tournament named after the greatest of all the Harts. 

Enter Hangman Page. He was once a popular babyface who recently turned heel. He drove the story as much as Jarrett. Sometimes you just get the right guys having the right match at the right time. This was one such occasion.

Page is younger, stronger, faster, and simply "better." But Jarrett has moxie, heart, and the crowd behind him. They're all in on the feel good story of Jarrett winning a tournament to honor his dearly departed partner. We get some "Let's Go Jarrett" chants and JJ has great babyface fire. He throws awesome Memphis punches. They even got me to bite on a nearfall when JJ locked Page in Owen's Sharpshooter. But Page survived. Because Page is too good. He's just too much for a Double J on the wrong side of middle age. Page had some great heel sneers btw. And he had the match won after finally connecting with his flipping clothesline that JJ managed to avoid earlier. But that wasn't enough for the Hangman. Oh no. He had to overkill Jarrett with his reverse Tombstone deal. And this was overkill that worked within the context of the match. Page recently turned heel so they're gonna bah gawd make him a HEEL. 

Verdict: A beautiful match. Jarrett did look his age a time or two, but the strong story nullifies any minor execution hiccups. 

John Cena (c) vs. Chris Jericho- Summerslam 8/21/05- WWE Championship Match

Playtime is over. We're settling the GOAT debate once and for all. This one is for all the marbles...

Don't think I ever saw this one before, though there is a slim chance I half-watched it during the early days of Youtube when practically every match you ever wanted to see was just one free click away. I do remember it getting solid reviews back in the day. Lots of ***-***1/2 "good match" takes. And that's where I am with this one...

It was a slow starter that picked up as it progressed. Jericho worked a Master of the Dropkick deal early on, hitting several different versions. This is weird because I don't remember Jericho being a particularly prolific dropkicker. Cena moves so awkwardly, forever looking like he's about trip over his own feet and fall flat on his face. Dude has all the grace of a drunk elephant on ice skates. To think 🤯  and I used to criticize Jericho for being a clunky plodfoot when Cena was right there this entire time... Not sure if stiffness or great selling, but Cena's many clotheslines and Jericho's stomps to the head all looked great. Kudos to both men for pulling those off. I also got a kick out of Cena's dramatic facial expressions when he was being choked.

But the real highlight here is the 5 minute finishing stretch in front of a red hot Washington DC crowd doing the dueling chant deal. Now the dueling chant was already deep down the path to jumping the shark by this point. If it hadn't already got there, it soon would. It had become rote rather than authentic. Fans becoming self-aware really is one of the worst things that ever happened to wrestling. I can even pinpoint the moment dueling chants died for me. Remember reading a review of TNA's syndicated Xplosion show, probably on 411mania, which chronicled a dueling chant between Shark Boy and a pre-fame Nigel McGuinness (EDIT: turns out it was 11/13/05 and it was a PPV dark match rather than an Xplosion encounter. Dueling chants for a dark match makes it even worse!). If that is getting dueling chants, then dueling chants need to die.

Anyway, the 50/50 chants here in Cena/Jericho actually work because you can see the fans were legit invested rather than just mechanically going through the motions, doing what they're supposed to do. You can clearly see fans jumping out of their seats to SHOUT for their guy. These fans genuinely cared. It was real to them. Cena was surprisingly not booed (yet) though many fans were backing the heel Jericho. Fwiw Cena is still more thug life than wholesome white meat babyface as evidenced by the phony put on accent he used in the pre-match hype video. Y2J did a little bit of heeling, including one great taunt, but he probably should have heeled it up even more to get the crowd further behind the babyface Cena.

Jericho scored most of the nearfalls, and the crowd bit on most of them, but then he got caught with a flash FU out of a tilt-a-whirl to give Cena the win around the 15 minute mark. JR was his usual grumpy self on commentary. Coach & King even got him to admit he's not a Cena fan. lol. JR then he threw a hissy fit. JR's stock has gone way down with me over the past few years. WWE really was on a whole nother level when it came to propaganda. They got millions of us to buy into the "good ol' JR" myth and convinced just as many that Bret Hart, one of the biggest egomaniacs in a business full of egomaniacs who literally called himself "the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be", was just this humble guy.

Anyway, rules are rules, and this means Cena is officially the GOA...

Wait. What's that, Coach? Oh, Jerry Lawler is undefeated at Summerslam, you say? The King is 3-0 with wins over the murderer's row of Bret Hart, Jake the Snake, and Taz? Interesting! And just off the top of my head I can rattle off several Cena losses at Summerslam. Meaning Lawler > Cena at Summerslam. So, with that in mind, I have no choice but to award the title of GOAT to Jerry "The King" Lawler. Sorry, Cena, but I see you, you Summerslam mediocrity. You came close, but The King pulled out another last second victory with the help of some timely Jonathan Coachman commentary. Lawlermania lives on! Long live the King!! Ruck fules!!!

Genichiro Tenryu & Minoru Suzuki w/ Possible Akira Hokuto vs. Jun Akiyama & Takeshi Morishima w/ Mystery Woman- NOAH 3/5/05

"Bad Haircut Man" Minoru Suzuki is out first to his epic theme. Then it's old man Tenryu clad in black & yellow. A Singapore cane wielding woman who may or may not be Akira Hokuto is with them. Then moon faced Morishima is out in cowboy garb. And finally, Akiyama in white rather than blue. Later in the match a woman with bleach blonde hair would show up in their corner to battle Maybe Akira Hokuto.

Rude heathens would rag on the Wrestling God's man boobs back in the day, but JBL was positively flat-chested compared to Tenryu & Morishima. Morishima honestly looks like a big baby. My brother and I used to joke about Hillbilly Jim not having a face under that big beard of his. Morishima's hair, coupled with that baby face, kind of reminds me of Hillbilly in a way that's admittedly hard to describe. Morishima also reminds me of Majin Buu. lol.

Anyway, Tenryu & Morishima start the proceedings. Morishima gets the better of it with a back suplex. Now it's Suzuki & Akiyama's turn. They....spend a few minutes jockeying for position without actually doing much of anything. Then it settles into a real average 15 minute match. Akiyama hit a lot of high knees and one Exploder. Morishima worked the bulk of the bout for his team. He took a spike piledriver and got trapped in a Suzuki sleeper. Tenryu did a bunch of back brain kicks. It broke loose in Tulsa twice with brawling on the floor and even the women getting involved. Finish comes during fracas #2 when Tenryu finishes Morishima off with back-to-back clotheslines. Pretty weak. Earlier in the match he planted Morishima with a rare good looking brainbuster in the style of Dick Murdoch. That should have been the finish. Morishima was the standout for me. Felt like the purpose of this match was to get him over in defeat.

Verdict- Average meat and potatoes match

Bayley (c) vs. Alexa Bliss- Payback 4/30/17- Raw Women's Title Match

For some reason this showed up in my feed. Yeah. Sure. OK. Why not? I like Alexa Bliss. Indifferent at best to Bayley tho.

This is in Bayley's hometown, so the crowd is hot hot hot to start. Always a good sign. But..

I feel like I should have liked this more than I did. Alexa was in control most of the way. She played a good heel. Trash talking like a champ. Making disdainful faces. But somehow it didn't click for me and I'm not sure why. Was thinking "lack of offense?" And Alexa did miss a goofy standing moonsault knee drop that was sold anyway, but she also hit a forearm that would make Misawa blush and a quasi-Code Red, while Bayley hit an actual good Shining Wizard and a Macho Man Elbow. So, no, it can't be "lack of offense." Feel like the crowd peaked early. So maybe Bayley should have had more offense or hope spots to keep them hot? Yeah, that could be it. Finish ruled though. Bayley bumped her head on the ring post. Then, after a Hail Mary small package, Alexa finished her off with one simple DDT. Because Bayley had a sore head! LOVE the simplicity of it. Love the lack of overkill. More matches should end in this manner. Also got a kick out of commentator Cory's epic foreshadowing when he dropped a line pertaining to hometown heartbreak. Poor Bayley. 

Verdict- Tough one to rate. Feel like it was a real Baker Match that I should have liked it more than I did, but it was just missing...something to the point where I honestly started zoning out during a match that only went 11-12 minutes. Great finish though!

Asuka vs. Nia Jax- Elimination Chamber 2/25/18

lol as if I'm going to check out modern WWE women's wrestling without watching the undeniable Nia Jax. Speaking of modern WWE women's wrestling, whatever happened to Lacey? She was my girl for a minute there. Talk about a flash in the pan. She seems to have fallen of the face of the earth. Good to know this Ice Train, Patriot, and Sal Sincere enthusiast can still pick 'em!

So, this ruled. Nia Jax delivers again. Does this woman ever miss? Was going to compare her to Andre but that honestly feels like doing queen Nia a disservice. Or at the very least would be inauthentic since, while I do like Andre, it's for childhood nostalgia reasons rather than thinking his actual wrestling was anything special. Anyway, what I see in Nia is what I assume most people see in Andre the Giant. She's so much bigger than her opponents and so great at using her size. The bulk of this 8-9 minute match was Nia catching Asuka, or powering her up from awkward positions, into all these cool slams and bombs. Asuka would get the occasional hope spot- a kick or two here, a submission there, but this was mostly a glorious Nia Jax beatdown. Think the Samoa Joe vs. Tajiri, or Vader/KENTA match of your dreams. So good! There was one hiccup when Asuka didn't roll out of the way quick enough on Nia's big girl flip senton. Nia landed on Asuka's leg. BUT Asuka sold(?) it properly rather than just pretending everything went as planned. So it's all good. Another highlight was Asuka dodging Nia's Banzai Drop attempt. David ultimately triumphs over Goliath when Asuka counters a Jax bomb with a sort of Frankensteiner/Victory Roll deal for the flash 1-2-3. Sore loser Nia then wrecks Asuka with an epic spear through the barricade! Nia Jax ruuuuuuuuuuules. Imagine being one of these jabronies banging on about Triple H's gr8 booking skillz when the big nosed hack didn't even give Nia Jax a 6 year reign with the women's title. smh.

Verdict- A few years ago I gave a sub-10 minute Backlund/Studd match ****. This was honestly a better version of that. So, let's go ****1/4. Recommended!

Sting vs. Hugh Morrus- WCW Saturday Night 6/8/96

Hadn't been in a wrestling/PW mood for a few weeks. I'm still not tbh. I've got other things going on. BUT this showed up in my feed and I couldn't resist. 

Sting is pure. The Man Called Sting theme. The colorful tights and facepaint. The crowd interaction. His hair is dark rather than bleach blond, but he's still good ol' Surfer Sting, the best Sting, in every other way. Hugh Morrus is shorter and plump with doofus hair styles on both his head and face.

Highlight is the opening. Sting "woos." The crowd woos back. Then Hugh woos to mock Sting. Crowd boos. Then Sting faces the crowd to let loose the mother of all woos when Hugh attacks from behind to huge boos. So pro wrestling. So pure. So perfect.

Unfortunately, the next 6 minutes are real pedestrian stuff. Hugh controls most of the way. He isn't very entertaining on offense. Very dull and chinlocky. Sting comes back with back to back Stinger Splashes- one to back and then one to the front. Scorpion Deathlock. Ball game. Under **. Great opening tho! And having been brought back I decided to keep going...if only for one night. 

The Boss vs. Rick Rude- WCW Saturday Night 12/18/93

Rick Rude is the WCW International Champion. Long story. He's scheduled to face Bulldog who had already left the company so Rude wins by forfeit. Then he cuts a good heel promo talking himself up while taking some cheap shots at Bulldog. Rude is about to leave when the debuting Big Boss Man runs out in his classic Bossman regalia to a huge pop and we've got ourselves an impromptu match. Surprises like this weren't really a thing prior to ECW and the Monday Night War so this really does feel like a huge deal. Crowd is going wild.

Bossman is a house of fire early, peppering Rude with his awesome punches. Rude gets in his classic atomic drop sell and takes a big back body drop. But then Rude goes on offense. He hits a top rope knee drop and swinging neck breaker before grinding things to a halt with a lengthy chinlock. Bossman eventually fights back and wins with an iffy Bossman Slam around the 9 minute mark. Fwiw Schiavone says "that's a big Boss, man" several times and this would be the last time Bossman ever wore his classic blue police officer outfit as WWF and McDevitt were all over this. 

Verdict- A mixed bag. First few minutes were great. Everything was so high energy. Then it turned into just another match. Rude is so much better on defense than offense. Had Bossman squashed Rude in like 3 minutes I'd have rated this ****. It could have been done given the context! And let's not forget Bossman had waited 3 years for this going back to Rude making fun of his mama. Oh well. Another WCW misstep. **1/2. 

MVP (c) vs. Rey Mysterio- Armageddon 12/16/07- US Title Match

I have no recollection of this. High hopes though! Given MVP was a favorite during this period and Rey has always been a good match machine. Is MVP the best US Champ of the 2000s? I think he just might be.

Meh. This didn't live up to those high hopes. Never seemed to settle into any real story. It was just two guys doing stuff. Rey actually controlled most of the way, peppering MVP throughout with Tajiriesque kicks. Educated feet were a WWE addition to Rey's game. He wasn't known for kicks in ECW or WCW. Rey also hit a big top rope frankensteiner and a dive over the ref. MVP would occasionally cut him off with his patented big boot. Finish was a real wet fart when MVP intentionally allowed himself to be counted out around the 11 minute mark. That's great for a tv match to set up a PPV rematch! I'd even accept it on a lesser PPV to build to a bigger PPV. But this cheap finish went nowhere so it's a fail. I enjoyed Boss/Rude a bit more so let's go **1/4.

Hated watching those rey kicks. Kicking the calfs made sense to wear them down, but MANNNN it came off so little brother esque. It SOUNDS like underdog, but it comes off like a douchebag. Very much "who throws a shoe" vibes to it.

*Went on PW hiatus for a few weeks. Tried watching a match a night before bed as part of my daily routine during said break. Now I finally feel like writing about them.

Dory Funk Jr. vs. Dick Slater- Southwest Championship Wrestling- Early 80s

I had never been a Dory Guy. Always got the impression he was boring and let's face it, he looked like your math teacher. But a few months ago, I put over a match he had with Stan Lane. Kilgore then came out of the closet as a Dory fan. Let's see if Dory can keep up the momentum...

Nah. This was pretty dull. Among the weaker matches in this binge. Half the match was a Dory headlock. Highlight was the folksy commentator dropping more than Southern-fried witticisms than JR would in a year. The wrestling highlight was the way Slater escaped a headlock. Seriously. That was the highlight- a headlock escape. Funk won by DQ when Tully Blanchard, who had recently injured Terry according to Awesome Commentator Dude, ran in to attack Dory. "Cowboy" Steve Casey then ran out to help the eldest Funk, no doubt setting up a future tag match. Worth noting the crowd was hot for Funk with "Dory" chants as he hit awesome Euro Uppercuts + stiff forearms during his post-match comeback. You wouldn't think a balding, middle-aged technician would have so much fire. Still, this isn't really worth your time.

Honkytonk Man (c) w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow- Prime Time Wrestling 5/9/88- IC Title Match

Fun Fact: HTM's cousin Jerry Lawler won the AWA Championship from Curt Hennig in a classic down in Memphis the very same day this bout aired.

Good thing I didn't watch this as it aired. Might not be here today if I had. Not sure my heart could have taken it given the strong push BBB came in with. Would have been on the edge of my seat for sure. HTM started with some stellar Zbyszkoing. BBB finally caught him. Hit some offense. Then he missed something. HTM pounced. BBB came back. They tumbled to the floor. HTM scored a real cheap countout for the win when BBB got in to his his Slingshot Splash finisher a second late. I usually love those kinds of finishes, but this one just didn't hit for me. Maybe because I saw it coming from a mile away? Parts of this were fun, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Kamala w/ Mr. Fuji & Kim Chee vs. Ricky Steamboat- Philly House Show 6/20/87

An on-paper classic to kiddie me that actually turned out to be pretty fun. They did the big vs. little, cat and mouse thing with Kamala giving chase and Steamboat evading. Kamala was his usual mixed bag of good character work and agility you wouldn't expect from such a big fella coupled with weak offense and bogged down by dreaded nerve holds. This is an overall win just because we got a rare clean finish when big K catches a Steamer in the doghouse with about as 'outta nowhere' a splash as you're going to get in 80s WWF. 

Billy Kidman (c) vs. Chavo Guerrero- WCW SuperBrawl IX 2/21/99- WCW Cruiserweight Title Match

This was solid. Chavo leaned into working heel which is for the best since he was about the least flashy Cruiser of the era. It also gave the match a hook. Kidman won with the usual "You Can't Powerbomb Him" facebuster followed by his patented Shooting Star Press. 

Randy Savage w/ Elizabeth vs. Greg Valentine w/ Jimmy Hart- Wrestlemania IV 3/27/88- WWF Title Tournament Match

Savage spends most of the second match on the greatest night of his career taking a beating. And that's fine because "The Hammer" is good on offense and "Macho Man" is a great seller. But then they go into a weirdly modern finishing stretch with lots of (mostly missed) move trading before Savage wins with an inside cradle. A tale of two matches. I liked the first half. Second half not so much. Felt like they weren't on the same page down the stretch. As if they had different ideas. Never noticed that before in my many previous watches.

Bob Backlund vs. Ron Bass w/ JJ Dillon- Pro Wrestling USA 12/1/84

The least of all the bouts in this 14 match binge. Just real forgettable stuff. Only things keeping it out of DUDville are Bass amusingly trying to pull Backlund's hair to break holds only to be foiled by his crew cut being too short and JJ Dillon being a real dick on his interference segments. JJ had a meanness to him that I had never picked up on before. Bob Backlund, alleged babyface, once again proves he was always a crazy person when he manhandles the ref. Then he does it again after being DQed. What a jerk! 

*I've always wanted to take the Mr. Backlund Presidential Challenge. No time like the present. Wish me luck. No cheating! Let's do this...

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}
George Washington
John Adams
Thomas Jefferson
James Madison
James Monroe
John Quincy Adams
Andrew Jackson
8! Martin Van Buren
William Henry Harrison
John Tyler
John Knox Polk?
Zachary Taylor?
?
Franklin Pierce?
James Buchanan?
Abraham Lincoln
Andrew Johnson
Ulysses S. Grant
?....
William McKinley
Teddy Roosevelt
William Taft
Woodrow Wilson
Warren Harding
Calvin Coolidge
Herbert Hoover
Franklin Roosevelt
Harry Truman
Dwight Eisenhower
John F. Kennedy
Lyndon Johnson
Richard Nixon
Gerald Ford
Jimmy Carter
Ronald Reagan
George Bush
Bill Clinton
George W. Bush
Barack Obama
WWE Hall of Famer Donald Trump
Joe Biden

Mr. Backlund Presidential Challenge Results: 39/46=85%. Solid B. Not enough to save me from a Chickenwing procuring, but I'm happy with it. Tickled pink I got 4/5 going with all (educated) guesses on that tricky Polk-Buchanan run. My other blind spot was that even trickier period in between Grant and McKinley. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to earn Mr. Backlund's autograph one day... 

Hardcore & Crash Holly vs. Pete Gas & Joey Abs w/ Rodney- Jakked 1/22/00

Fun enough Attitude Era C-show fare. If nothing else, it's proof the fed's theme game remained strong as ever. Rodney interfered. Then he got wrecked. Abs hit his textbook suplex. BOBCORE hit THE textbook so textbook it might be a Top 5 of his career. A Posse member botched a spot with BOBCORE yet somehow still draws breath to this day. Our guy must have been in a good mood that night. He picked up the win with the Hollycaust. Unexpected BOBCORE! as you didn't see him win with that very often.  

King Kong Bundy w/ Ted Dibiase vs. Duke "The Dumpster" Droese- Action Zone 11/27/94

Vince & Todd are a WOATC commentary duo. They're too similar and ALWAYS ON TEN as if they're in the midst of a permanent sugar rush. They're just so extra. Dumpster tried hard. Looked good. And I don't mean that just because he had Kevin Nash hair! But because he had good babyface fire and all his stuff looked good. But, man, was Bundy washed. Just didn't have it anymore. Even his aura was gone. Sad thing is it took me until after the Undertaker match at 'Mania to realize it in real time. KKB wins with sawft back-to-back Avalanches. Not even bothering with the big splash anymore. Guessing his knees were shot? Then the ref botched the five count gimmick. This was bad. Dumpster deserved better. Can't believe I'm writing that. ALTHOUGH....I've actually been impressed with Dumpster the past few times I've seen him. Maybe he really did deserve better? At least not such a dead on arrival gimmick.

Visionaries (Rick Martel/Hercules/Paul Roma/Warlord) vs. Vipers (Jake Roberts/The Rockers/Jimmy Snuka)- Survivor Series 11/22/90

Few things are cooler than old school Survivor Series team names. OK, few things are cooler than old school Survivor Series, period. This show holds a special place in heart (then again, don't most of them? lol) as we borrowed the tape from my middle-aged mailman ex-neighbor Mr. Charlie wherein I proceeded to watch the Undertaker bits approximately one gazillion times during the month or so we had the tape.

Remembered the result of this match, but not how good it was. No doubt because I couldn't have cared less about match quality in those days. But this is the best bout in this 14-match batch. Told a good story and everybody got a chance to shine. Big story here is between team captains Model & Jake. Martel famous blinded Roberts with a squirt of "Arrogance" perfume on the Brother Love show. If I wasn't already doing it, this led to me using a spray bottle my mom had in the basement as my own personal "Arrogance." Brother HATED it. lol. So did the parents iirc. Anyway, this is Jake's long-awaited return to in ring action. His 'blind' eye is pure white! No iris! No pupil! This really freaked kiddie me out. How great is that Visionaries team name given the context? So wonderfully dickish. 

Continuing the dick heel theme, Model was a great one. Picking his spots, hitting cheap shots, only to flee whenever Jake had him in his sights. Crowd was hot for Roberts with lots of "JAKE" chants. Whole match was building to a sure-to-be-epic Model vs. Snake confrontation. Only they didn't really deliver. What a tease! Vintage Classic WWF! Gotta sell those house shows, brother. Jake wouldn't taste sweet, sweet revenge until the memorable Blindfold Match at WM 7. Luckily, we still got a lot of quality wrestling to make up for the lack of Jake/Model payoff.

Between this, and the awesome Powers of Pain vs. Rockers match I reviewed a few months back, I'm now convinced Warlord would have gone down as an all-time great had he only wrestled the Rockers every night. The super-sized Steve Austin has AMAZING chemistry with Shawn & Marty. Marty was eliminated first after Warlord caught him coming off the top with a gifworthy Powerslam. Michaels would later reach the stratosphere on a Warlord back body drop. Snuka shone the least but then he was already old and passed it. And even "Superfly" had a nice little flurry before being eliminated by "The Model." Power & Glory got a nice rub by eliminating Michaels with their patented Powerplex which was beloved by your turn of the century IWC crowd. Now poor Jake was stuck in an unenviable 1 on 4 situation. He fought 'em hard. He fought 'em well. HUGE pop for DDT on Warlord. But the blindness + numbers disadvantage meant Jake could not maintain any momentum for long. He eventually threw in the towel by grabbing Damian and chasing Martel (who was not the legal man) all the way up the aisle, causing the Snake Man to be counted out. Meaning all 4 Visionaries survive! A Survivor Series first according to commentary. Hmm. I was not aware of/did not remember that.

Verdict- Solid ***. A good time. Recommended for anyone wanting to scratch that Golden Age WWF itch.

Andrade vs Johnny Gargano, NXT Takeover: Philadelphia-- I wasn't watching any wrestling when this took place and kept stumbling upon people mentioning it as the best NXT match ever. Plus I've been really enjoying Andrade's work/feud with Melo lately and wanted to check out more of his match-ography.

...Absolutely the closest I've ever seen to rivaling Zayn/Nakamura, definitely *****. What a fucking match. Even Candice running in on Zelina added a nice touch near the end. I can see why this is considered a modern classic.

Money Inc. (c) vs. High Energy- Wrestling Challenge 2/21/93- Tag Title Match

This is only a few days after the infamous Beefcake briefcase incident. In a sign of things to come, Jimmy Hart is not with Money Inc. Koko has put on a lot of weight since his late 80s heyday. High Energy's baggy, checkered outfits are something you could only see in the early 90s. You gotta love it.

Disappointing match hurt by some real lame brain booking. Match threatened to get interesting when an Incster dodged Koko's High Knee in the corner. As always, I got excited over the prospect of a 'work the leg' match. But Koko quickly tagged out. Then, after tagging back in again, he was quickly deemed too hurt to compete and escorted to the back by a gaggle of refs. Disappointing but can be worked around. OK, fine. I won't get my 'work the leg' match but at least we'll get a brutal 2 on 1 beatdown of glorified jobber Owen Hart to really put Money Inc over as jerk heels. But nooooo. Money Inc work Owen over with the most basic heel 101 offense imaginable and keep picking him up at 2 before the ref disqualifies for them for the sawftest amount of 'excessive violence' you will ever see. Why are WWF protecting Owen & Koko in early 1993?!? They were basically 95-96 Holly & Aldo tier. Just let Money Inc. pin, submit, or do some real damage to those jabronies. Would also be nice if Money Inc. had the slightest amount of fire. They just lazily do stuff the way an accountant and bored rich guy would. Pains me to say it, because I like both guys, but Money Inc bores me more often than not. It's no wonder I barely remembered anything about their 16-month stranglehold on the tag titles.

Pretty Wonderful (c) vs. Kevin & Dave Sullivan- WCW Main Event 9/18/94- Tag Title Match

Kevin Sullivan tribute match. RIP. Dave Sullivan is so the original Eugene. He's already doing the Hulkamaniac schtick. Don't remember much about this. Let's see. There were "PAULA" chants to heckle the heels. Dave is not good. Kevin threw quality punches. Likely because they were shoot potatoes. Call it bookerman's privilege. Finish was cool. Dave suplexed Orndorff only Mr. Wonderful held onto him in a sort of headlock. This left Evad susceptible to a Superfly Splash from Roma. A Paul then pinned him to win. Post-match saw Kevin abuse poor, bullied Dave. What a jerk. Made you want to see Dave finally snap on Kevin and that's coming from someone who didn't even like stupid Evad.

D'Lo Brown (c) w/ Debra vs. Jeff Jarrett w/ Debra: Summerslam 8/22/99- Euro-Continental Title Match

I vaguely know the finish but not sure I've seen this before. JJ & Debra have a falling out before the match. JJ sends her to the back to major boos. D'Lo's takes forever to emerge through the curtain. Because he comes out with Debra! 

Crowd was hot for this with "D'LO" chants for the face and "ASSHOLE" chants directed at the heel JJ. This was good until the vintage "gotta have a swerve, bro" AE booking kicked in. D'Lo looked real sharp early on. Had good fire. Threw great punches. Collaborated with JJ on the mother of all Sky Highs. Then D'Lo hurt his arm on a posting. JJ was on it like a shark smelling blood. Then it fell off the rails. D'Lo stopped selling the arm. Then the booking kicked in. Debra distracted the ref. D'Lo's ally Mark Henry, whom D'Lo had been forcing to lose weight, predictably turned on D'Lo with a guitar shot. JJ pinned to win. It was all a ruse! JJ, Henry, and Debra leave together having screwed D'Lo out of the Eurocontinental Title. JJ would gift Henry the Euro title next night on Raw. 

*Hope to wrap it up tomorrow with the final 2 matches from this binge. Then I'll probably be away for another week or two or three.

Davey Boy Smith vs. Haku- Prime Time Wrestling 3/11/91

Ruled. 2nd best match of the batch. Even has me seeing both guys in a better light. Truth is even though I've been a Bulldog backer for nearly 30 years, there are times when I write him off as a blank slate, which is to say a guy who wrestles to the level of his opponent. Haku honestly bored me as a kid. He had no hook! Didn’t cut promos. Even with the normally automatic heel King gimmick, he came across as a guy just wearing the outfit. He didn't do anything particularly heelish. He wasn't big enough to be a Big Guy. He looked like a solid, respectable citizen. And the "Haku as wrestling's Chuck Norris" stuff didn't really take off until the mid-late 2000s. But I've come to the conclusion Haku was a good hand, albeit still bland. Still not sold on Meng tho. 

Anyway, Bulldog was bigger than ever yet moving around the ring as if it were still 1985. He did all those cool flips and counters he picked up in England, Calgary, and Japan. Even broke out a nice dropkick. And Haku was right there with him. He hit an all timer of a Piledriver. 10/10. Gifworthy. Haku even feigned having his hair pulled and jawed with the ref a little. What fresh sorcery is this? Haku having a personality! Playing a role! I really have seen it all now. They had a mid-air crossbody collision won by Bulldog that was like the early 90s, '270 pounder' version of Ricochet/Logan Paul. The great Lord Alfred Hayes claimed both guys played rugby in their youth. There were a few goofy 'hi-ya' chops by Haku, and a chinlock, but hardly enough to knock this out of hidden gem status. Bulldog wins around the 8 minute mark with a nice Crucifix. Recommended!

Hulk Hogan & Sid Justice w/ Brutus Beefcake vs. Undertaker & Ric Flair w/ Paul Bearer- Saturday Night's Main Event 2/8/92

Huge match here to set up Hogan/Sid at Wrestlemania. This would have no doubt main evented the February PPV in later years. There was no cooler tag team in early 1992 than WWF Champion Ric Flair & former WWF Champion The Undertaker. Actually, there may NEVER have been a cooler tag team than early 1992 Ric Flair & The Undertaker. With all due respect to The Mountie, they were my two favorite wrestlers at the time. Then there is the opposition. Ugh! They are like the anti-Flair & Taker. Worth noting Beefcake's mullet is out of control. Imagine letting a man with THAT mullet cut your hair...

This is more angle than match and that's probably for the best since it sucked as a wrestling match. Flair & Taker got some heat on Sid. Their double teams were weirdly awkward. Probably because of Sid. And this featured Hogan at his worst. Nothing hurts the man for long. They recycle the Megapowers deal with Sid refusing to tag in and ultimately walking out on Hogan in a moment even the densest kid had to see coming from a mile away. Sid was surprisingly good as a smug heel on the apron tho. Had some nice facial expressions and popped me by calling a fan "you little witch" on his walk to the back.

So, Hogan is now down 1 on 2 against RIC FLAIR & THE UNDERTAKER yet STILL can't do the job. The baddies end up getting DQed for shoving the ref. Then they're about to end Hogan once and for all when Beefcake distracts them just long enough for Hogan to make his comeback. Vince was good on commentary here selling the bravery of Beefcake risking his shattered face to save The Hulkster and Heenan had some funny lines at Beefer's expense. Still, this was Hogan at his worst. Just do the job! Even as a dumb kid, Hogan's inability to ever lose stuff drove me crazy. Yet it's also true that Hogan was still super over with the crowd. It was nothing like the Rumble where there was a smattering of Sid fans. Nor did I spy any rebellious fans rooting for Flair & Taker. Nope. This crowd was all about The Hulkster, brother.

Kerry Von Erich w/ Mr. T! vs. Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Skandor Akbar- WCCW 1989

How'd I never know about this? There's an alternate universe where Kerry Von Erich with Mr. T(!!!) vs. Bam Bam Bigelow main evented a Wrestlemania, Starrcade, or a major Cotton Bowl show in front of 50,000 people. Only here they're competing in dying day World Class for a shot to take on Unified Champion Jerry Lawler. Not gonna lie. That would actually be a great set up for a Lawlermania. KVE coming out to Rush's Tom Sawyer is just so right.

Unfortunately, the match sucked. This last minute addition ended up being the worst bout in a now 15 match batch. Even hard to argue against it being a rare DUD. They start super slow as if they're pacing themselves to go 20+. Then we come back from commercial with BBB fully in control. KVE comes back with a Discus Punch to knock BBB head over heels to the floor. We get a countout tease. Then we get a long KVE Clawhold before they both tumble to the floor. Then we get an all-time wtf sequence with Kerry no selling back-to-back postings AND a Discus Punch to the post brought about by a BBB dodge. Yet he sells literally none of these three postings and casually gets back in the ring for an ultra-cheap countout victory. Good grief! Not even Hogan was that bad. Really not sure what happened there. Mr. T was a non-factor. This whole thing was a mess.

*That wraps up this 15 match batch. I'll probably be away from PW for a week or longer. Ta-ta.