Aug 25, 2020 10:04:07 GMT iNCY said:

Aug 25, 2020 8:19:17 GMT 🤯 said:

Man, how do people have a newborn AND work!?!?

I started my company about a year before my daughter was born.
I ended up walking the back yard in the rain closing deals because wouldn't matter if my gorgeous baby had been asleep 5 minutes or an hour, they would invariably cry when I was on the phone.
It's why I decided to buy an office/warehouse.

The first 6 weeks isn't about anything but survival, it's where your baby is nocturnal and cluster feeds.
People tell you babies feed every two hours but they don't tell you about the diaper, burping and cleaning up in the middle that pretty much leaves you with 5mins in the middle free before the cycle starts again.

Dream feeding is a life saver for sleep.

Preach on the bold.

So nocturnal will naturally start to shift away once we get to six weeks and beyond?

Go on about dream feeding. Wife had mentioned this briefly. Sounds like interjecting breastfeeding with a bottle of formula at night, as it takes longer to digest it'll hopefully hold him over for longer?

Aug 25, 2020 8:19:17 GMT 🤯 said:

Man, how do people have a newborn AND work!?!?

They don't. That's why maternity and paternity leave exists.

Or don't you get that in America?

Aug 25, 2020 12:11:02 GMT Emperor said:

Aug 25, 2020 8:19:17 GMT 🤯 said:

Man, how do people have a newborn AND work!?!?

They don't. That's why maternity and paternity leave exists.

Or don't you get that in America?

Don't rub it in, you Aussie Brit!

I'm glad getting two weeks paid parental leave was part of the deal with taking this new job. But America and corporations are soulless. Money over humanity, every day... Even if it means stepping over dollars to pick up pennies.

Part of the deal? Wow. Pretty sure it's a legal requirement here. Two weeks minimum paternity leave. A year for maternity leave.

Very few places I know of have paternity leave , which sucks. I know I got two weeks when my kid was born but it drained my PTO and wasn't a prerequisite.

My wife got six weeks off , so she had to work all the way up until labor in order to have as much time off afterwards. I think if I remember correctly she ended up taking an extra month off but just didn't get paid for it , which was fine.

And they wonder why birth rates are in the toilet. It's not the only reason but it is a big one!

You guys did a great marketing job in convincing the world you're the greatest country ever for so many decades.

Aug 25, 2020 16:05:58 GMT Emperor said:

You guys did a great marketing job in convincing the world you're the greatest country ever for so many decades.

A bigger con job than Amway.

Is there a bigger pay discrepancy between genders in these places with a year of one year maternity leave? Like I love the idea and have nothing against it... yet still find myself in a position where I’m thinking “...but would I hire someone that could take a year off with pay in the near future?”

Aug 25, 2020 19:43:40 GMT mikec said:

Is there a bigger pay discrepancy between genders in these places with a year of one year maternity leave? Like I love the idea and have nothing against it... yet still find myself in a position where I’m thinking “...but would I hire someone that could take a year off with pay in the near future?”

You're not supposed to be able to discriminate against this, in theory at least, right? I know I totally would though as a prospective employer. Hence me keeping the tidbit a secret until dotting i's and crossing t's until I knew I had this new job in the bag.

I was probably only able to secure the little bit of leave I got and push my start date as much as I could because the new company is a subsidiary of a German company, and I think Germany —in its attempts to compensate for nazis— has one of the better parental leave policies in the world. So, culturally and policy-wise, I had a better foothold.

I know it's the cool thing among Americans and capitalists to be heartless and value profit above all else, ESPECIALLY social welfare support initiatives... but fuuuck me would I be all in for a nation, culture, policy, etc. that supports that old "it takes a village" mindset/saying. I'm not entirely convinced my paycheck withholdings go towards the most efficient use as it is. I'd happily let that be retooled or even pay more in the form of a social insurance that allowed for better paternal leave.

I'd be curious about pay differentials too though. Assuming there's a way to discount negotiation skills out of the equation.

In the past few years Canada switched the 12 months maternity leave to 18 months leave if you want. You still get paid the same amount though. And it can be split up. So if we wanted to, 9 months maternity leave, then 9 months paternity leave, or however you choose.

mikec, when my wife went on maternity leave, she was paid out of Employment Insurance, which is about 60% of her salary. Whereas my company has a "top up" where I'd be paid 90% of my salary for the 12 months if I took parental leave.

America is the laughing stock of world for more than one reason. This lack of human decency predates Trump with no universal health care, no significant parental leave, food stamps, etc. I have American family and know second hand how it's affected them.

Anyways 🤯, keep it up buddee! Be the best damn support to Wife that you can while you're still home.

More dadvice:

- If you're having a newborn and also thinking about getting a dog, don't.

- If you're having a newborn and already have a dog, preempt some of your own misery by putting it out of its misery preemptively.

Amirite, PB!?

Thinking about just letting this bastard out to pee next time without a collar, and then just never letting him back in. That's the same as freeing him, isn't it? He either learns to survive with the bears and deer, he doesn't, or maybe he gets lucky and some kind neighbor takes him in.

Anyway, long story short... Fuuuck dogs. I continue to understand, appreciate, and respect so much more of my dad as I dad myself more and more each day.

What is exactly the problem with the dog?

Aug 28, 2020 12:09:32 GMT UT said:

What is exactly the problem with the dog?

He requires time, attention, and energy I can not afford to give.

He's also taking up all the room in the doghouse.

Aug 28, 2020 16:45:06 GMT Big Pete said:

He's also taking up all the room in the doghouse.

And his farts stink worse than mine.

Old Yeller was just training 🤯, you know what to do.

Aug 28, 2020 16:41:16 GMT 🤯 said:

Aug 28, 2020 12:09:32 GMT UT said:

What is exactly the problem with the dog?

He requires time, attention, and energy I can not afford to give.

That’s not his fault! Dogs are cooler than babies.

Aug 28, 2020 17:19:35 GMT UT said:

Aug 28, 2020 16:41:16 GMT 🤯 said:

He requires time, attention, and energy I can not afford to give.

That’s not his fault! Dogs are cooler than babies.

Why didn't you warn me then before we got into this mess!? What extra coolness were we chasing with this little no-sleep clone of me!?

Aug 28, 2020 17:22:58 GMT 🤯 said:

Aug 28, 2020 17:19:35 GMT UT said:

That’s not his fault! Dogs are cooler than babies.

Why didn't you warn me then before we got into this mess!? What extra coolness were we chasing with this little no-sleep clone of me!?

Well wait until kids talk , and walk. No more free time for like 4 years once that happens.

The dog has senority. Also if he's a few years old he's already heading towards death (aren't we all) so there's little you need to do there.

I'd rehome son before a loyal pooch. Unless it's a pitbull than you may be onto something because they will likely kill your son. Ask me how many toddlers and infants have been killed by pits in 2020.

Jericho: Ask him!

Aug 28, 2020 17:48:52 GMT UT said:

Aug 28, 2020 17:22:58 GMT 🤯 said:

Why didn't you warn me then before we got into this mess!? What extra coolness were we chasing with this little no-sleep clone of me!?

Well wait until kids talk , and walk. No more free time for like 4 years once that happens.

At this point I'm OK without "free time". I'll trade any and all free time for as much uninterrupted sleep as I can get.

Aug 28, 2020 17:51:06 GMT @ness said:

The dog has senority. Also if he's a few years old he's already heading towards death (aren't we all) so there's little you need to do there.

I'd rehome son before a loyal pooch. Unless it's a pitbull than you may be onto something because they will likely kill your son. Ask me how many toddlers and infants have been killed by pits in 2020.

Jericho: Ask him!

Chocolate lab, not a pit. He's twelve, so he should be nearing the end... Just not fast enough for my liking at this point.

He's had a good life. See nothing wrong with sending him to Valhalla with an honorable viking death. Let him go enjoy his virgins in the afterlife or whatever.

Unless UT wants to adopt him. In that case, I'll give him a map, point him northwest, then open the back door, and give him a kick in the ass to get him on his way.

I got a black lab. Black and chocolate don’t get along well , long story , it happened over a fight with who gets the designation of chocolate.

Aug 28, 2020 18:11:36 GMT UT said:

I got a black lab. Black and chocolate don’t get along well , long story , it happened over a fight with who gets the designation of chocolate.

Isn't that why there are dark and milk distinctions when it comes to chocolate? When it comes to chocolate, why can't we all just get along!?

🤯 and Wife : Congrats on son ! Sorry I'm so late to the party.

Sept 5, 2020 2:48:20 GMT Baker said:

🤯 and Wife : Congrats on son ! Sorry I'm so late to the party.

No apologies needed, brudda; glad you survived your hiatus!

Aug 28, 2020 17:22:58 GMT 🤯 said:

Aug 28, 2020 17:19:35 GMT UT said:

That’s not his fault! Dogs are cooler than babies.

Why didn't you warn me then before we got into this mess!? What extra coolness were we chasing with this little no-sleep clone of me!?

None, but the no sleep is going to last for the next two to four years (at a minimum), the girlfriends two-year-old joins us multiple times a week, including waking up when we're trying to have sexy fun time.

Sept 6, 2020 0:28:55 GMT Lony said:

Aug 28, 2020 17:22:58 GMT 🤯 said:

Why didn't you warn me then before we got into this mess!? What extra coolness were we chasing with this little no-sleep clone of me!?

None, but the no sleep is going to last for the next two to four years (at a minimum), the girlfriends two-year-old joins us multiple times a week, including waking up when we're trying to have sexy fun time.

We just discussed this. We're just going to keep him in the same room and let him watch and listen starting from infancy to desensitize him to it. Then whenever mom and dad are in the mood later in life, we can just do it anywhere and he nor we should be fazed by it.

Children are expensive enough without having to add reasons for certain therapy.