Background
It's the year 3000: The preserved Floating Head of Vince McMahon now rules as the supreme overlord of the top professional wrestling promotion in the galaxy -- Robot Wrestling Entertainment (or "RWE" for short). Vince has scoured the cosmos for the most talented artificial intelligence to program as competent wrestlers (debatable) in the school of RWE-style wrestling. Based in New New York City, RWE features only the best in robotic wrasslin'! Yet in recent weeks, "malfunctions" have begun to tamper competition within the company. Some fans have chalked it up to faulty wiring, others to a sign that the AI themselves are beginning to override their own programming, or most sinister of all: someone or something is hacking the competition from within. Needless to say, it's long past due that the floating head of the CEO finally address the matter in this next week's episode of REW programming! (the weekly television show, that is) 

YEAR 3000 ROSTER

[Coming Soon]


CURRENT CHAMPIONS

[RWE Universal Champion] 
Optimus Prime

[RWE World Champion] 
Bender

[RWE Tag Team Champions] 
Jurassic Spark (Mechagodzilla & Metal Gear Rex)


STAFF

[CEO]
The Floating Head of Mr. McMahon

[Announcers]
Joel Robertson, Tom Servo & Crow T. Robot

[Interviewers]
Gypsy
Morbo

[Ring Announcer]
"The Six Billion Dollar Man" Steve Austin

[Managers]
Captain B. McCrea
Dr. Tenma
The Fembots
Fisher Stevens
Philip J. Frye
Will Robinson

[Placeholder]

Episode #69: "Live In New New York…"

---

-- The Preserved Head of Mr. McMahon comes out to begin the show, his song "No Chance in Hell" now taking on a double meaning. Vince is assisted to the ring by Robocop with his head firmly resting on a golden pillow that Robocop is carrying.

--Mr. McMahon welcomes us to RWE. Eventually the megalomaniac begins to discuss preparations for the company's World Title Tournament to determine the belt's #1 Contender before turning on the crowd and revealing that he's changed his mind. He then welcomes out Darth Vader. Joel Robertson theorizes from the table that he believes Vader has convinced McMahon by way of his mysterious "Force" powers.

-- Johnny 5[/u] enters just to congratulate Vader, timidly asking him if he'd be interested in employing Johnny himself as a manager. Vader chuckles wickedly in gaps of muffled breath: "No, but I can assist you…" He then lifts Johnny 5 straight into the air with a Force Choke before flinging him into the audience.

-- Glass shatters and out comes Bender. He opens up his stomach and pulls out a beer for his left hand and a microphone for his right. Bender chugs the beer down as Darth Vader demands he speak. Bender then replies, "Bender 3:16…" before looking down and retrieving another beer. He pops the tab with his thumb, sending it bouncing off Vader's shoulder before finishing the second bottle, "... Fuck that, BENDER 24:7 SAYS: I JUST WHOOPED YOUR STUPID SITH @$$!!!"

-- Vader attempts the Force Choke, but somehow Bender is immune to this. He then flips off Vader, chucks thr bottle at Vader's helmet and kicks him directly in the groin; Cold Drunk Stunner's to Vader and an incoming Robocop. Mr. McMahon, resting on the corner turnbuckle, yells at Bender that if any harm comes to him, "YOU'LL BE FIIIIIIIRREEDDD!!!"

-- Bender laughs to himself before pulling out a cigar and lighting it. He then opens up the top lid of the case holding Vince's preserved head and ashes his cigar out into the fluid, followed by dumping the whole cigar in there as well. The crowd goes nuts before the sound of the glass shattering and Mr. McMahon choking on cigar water in protest ends the segment.

-- Later in the episode, company officials announce on behalf of Mr. McMahon that the main event will feature Darth Vader vs. Bender in the first ever "No DQ Lumberjack Exploding Time Bomb Cage Match". A stipulation is then announced pre-match that if Bender loses, he will be fired from the RWE effective immediately.


Match Results

1.) Optimus Prime d. i-Robot [This was a non-title defense. Megatron attacked both Prime and i-Robot after a clean pin, hitting the MegaBomb finisher on both then slowly exiting the ring.]

2.) Jurassic Spark © d. C3PO & R2D2 in an RWE Tag Team Title Match [Both Mechagodzilla & Metal Gear Rex continued the assault after the win.]

3.) Astro Boy d. Dr. Robotnik ["The Eggman" was originally a manager for Astro Boy before it was revealed that he had both brainwashed and kidnapped Astro's father, Dr. Tenma. Tenma made his managerial debut here while Robotnik made his in-ring one. Tenma struck Robotnik with his shoe when he wasn't looking, allowing Astro Boy the opportunity to strike the evil doctor with his Rocket Punch to get the pin.]

4.) Darth Vader vs. Bender in a No DQ Lumberjack Exploding Time Bomb Cage Match [The bombs exploded every 5 minutes, committing great harm to both competitors. Once openings in the cage formed, an assortment of the heel roster led by The Preserved Head of Mr. McMahon & Robocop began storming the ring. Unfortunately, his cronies lost track of time, leaving McMahon and his metal deputy assistant trapped inside. The cage exploded before they could escape while shattering Vince's glass case altogether...]


-- The footage of the cameras then begin to glitch ever so slightly. The lights in the entire building go pitch black before static cuts back into the feed. We then transfer scenes to what looks like a Public Emergency Broadcast. A monotone robotic voice then closes the show with the sinister words: "This is a test... This is a test... This.... is.... a..... TEEESSSSTTTT."