How We Got Here

pwcom.proboards.com/thread/4101/fiction-draft-suplex-division-baker
pwcom.proboards.com/thread/4137/fiction-draft-suplex-division-baker


Lawlermania: The King vs. The Wrestling God

A Last Minute Push

JBL has technically defeated Jerry Lawler three times in a row. "The King" was forced to put everything on the line in order to get one last crack at the USWA Championship he made famous. Naturally the big match is taking place on the show he made famous- LAWLERMANIA.

Over a thousand tickets remained unsold just a week before showtime. But The King had a plan...

JBL's promo on the go home show included a seemingly throwaway line where he bragged about his rich contacts in Texas & New York buying up all the seats at the Liberty Bowl. Lawler addressed this later in the show by urging his loyal local fans to buy up the remaining seats so JBL's foul friends wouldn't take over the 60,000 seat Liberty Bowl. Lawler admitted he'd need the support of every single one of his loyal subjects if he was to get the better of JBL.

Before box offices closed that Saturday another Lawlermania was officially sold out. 98.6% of the fans attending Lawlermania would support Lawler over JBL. Score another one for The King.

Specially Selected Result

*I may or may not be back later to post results of the other matches. They really don't matter much in the grand scheme of things.

Andre The Giant defeated Sting in the penultimate match. The Cabinet's enforcer dominated early but was unable to put the plucky Stinger away. Andre eventually grew tired as it became clear Sting was employing the same rope-a-dope strategy he used to defeat Vader at Starrcade '92. Sting seized the moment by targeting Andre's knee when the big man's huffing and puffing reached a fever pitch. Sting even managed to trap Andre in the Scorpion! Andre was too big and too strong to submit. So he managed to reach the ropes. But when he stood up he fell right back down! A desperate Andre crawled to the corner and used the ropes to regain his footing. But Sting had already moved in for the kill! The Memphis crowd came unglued as Sting started pummeling Andre in the corner. Sting was all set to fly in with a Stinger Splash for the coup de grace. NO! Just as Sting was about to take off Andre lowered his head and lunged forward to deliver the mother of all headbutts right to Sting's chest. Andre collapsed on top of Sting for the academic 1-2-3. Andre's boss JBL and spokesman Nick Bockwinkel would later christen the move *wait for it....wait for it* the RAM HOG~! It would soon become the most deadly weapon in the arsenal of the 7'4 525 giant.

But the damage had been done. Andre would secretly be rushed to the hospital immediately following the match due to Sting working over his knee. This meant JBL was forced to go in alone against Jerry Lawler in the main event...

JBL (c) vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler

The King vs. The Wrestling God
Main Event QUADRANGLE
USWA Championship vs. Jerry Lawler's Hair, Career & Kingdom

1st Fall: Straight Wrestling Match

Esteemed USWA commentator Lance Russell is famous for reminding fans Jerry Lawler is a notorious slow starter. Well, Lawler started this one off so slow that he soon found himself in a 0-1 hole. The opportunistic JBL jumped Lawler with a brutal Lariat before "The King" could even remove his multiple layers of pre-match attire. Lawler at least had the wherewithal to roll out to the relative safety of the floor. But that only prolonged the inevitable. JBL followed Lawler out and soon hit an arrogant 'snuff the cigar out' Powerbomb on the floor. JBL rolled the limp body of Lawler back in the ring and hit another Lariat to win the first fall around the 2 minute mark as a hush fell over the 60,000 shocked Lawlermaniacs in attendance at the Liberty Bowl.

Lawler: 0
JBL: 1

2nd Fall: No DQ Match

JBL continued to be the aggressor by leveling Lawler with a stiff chairshot to the head as soon as the 30 second rest period had elapsed. JBL went in for the cover as the Memphis faithful slipped into stunned silence. Could "The Wrestling God" finally become just that by sweeping Lawler 2-0 in approximately three minutes during the main event of Lawlermania?

1-2-NO! Lawler just managed to slip his shoulder up at 2.9. But when JBL rolled away the cameras revealed "The King" was now wearing the dreaded crimson mask.

JBL kept up the assault for another 5 minutes. He was feeling mighty good about himself. Jaw-jacking with the crowd. Doing a little dance. Even taking time to berate Lawler and the crowd on the mic in the style of The Rock. Yet he was unable to put away the now-bloodstained King. The crowd grew hotter and hotter as Lawler refused to die. JBL's clubbering suddenly wasn't having such a strong effect on the King. JBL started to get a little more nervous each time the King got up a little quicker from JBL's offense. And finally it happened. The strap is down! Lawler is Lawlering up. JBL's punches were either blocked or no sold while the righteous right hand of "The King" started doing serious damage to the self-proclaimed Wrestling God. But that wily Bradshaw had one last trick up his sleeve. He reached into his trunks and came out with a chain. JBL wrapped it around his hand while Lawler was playing to his loyal subjects in the crowd. The King turned around. The Wrestling God swung...

But the King ducked! One atomic drop later and the chain went flying. Lawler picked it up. He eyed JBL. Then he eyed revenge. Lawler wrapped the chain around his fist and went to town on JBL with one right hand after another. Lawler then climbed up to the 2nd turnbuckle and came back down with a chain-wrapped fist drop for the 1-2-3. Lawler had evened up the score! And during the 30 second rest period we got an extreme close up of JBL's rapidly expanding crimson mask as the THUNDERDOME Cage is lowered to ominous music...

Lawler: 1
JBL: 1

3rd Fall: THUNDERDOME Cage Match

And so it has come to this. The King & The Wrestling God....both wearing Crimson Masks....tied up at 1-1....with everything important on the line....in the main event of LAWLERf'nMANIA~! If only wrestling were still this good...

The crowd had reached a fever pitch with dueling chants of "Jerry" and "Lawler" during the 30 second rest period. Lawler quickly jumped in for the kill with another chain punch to end it all as soon as the bell rang. But he was a little too eager! JBL grabbed Lawler's singlet and used it as a leverage move to propel Lawler head first into the cage between the middle and top ropes. The chain flew out of the ring and The King was now trapped in a tight no man's land between the ropes and cage. JBL was on him with stomps, punches, chokes, and using the cage as a weapon. If Lawler wasn't a bloody mess before, he certainly was now. JBL had found a second wind. He ran through his whole assortment of offense on "The King" save the Lariat. So lots of slams and clubberin'. JBL scored multiple two counts. Frustration started settling in as he was unable to put Lawler away. The crowd was fully behind "The King" with chants and cheers. But just how much did he have left? 

Apparently not much as his handful of comebacks were short-lived before JBL once again took over. Things seemed even more bleak after Lawler back dropped his way out of a potential Lariat. The crowd popped. The King dropped his strap. Only to follow it up by collapsing. An evil grin came across the face of the man immortalized high atop Mount de la Mieux. Lawler was done. The USWA Championship, Lawler's hair, career, and even the USWA itself seemed to be in JBL's permanent grasp. JBL swung his arm signaling for the Lariat as he waited for Lawler as The King slowly staggered to his feet. JBL was looking to end it all. He charged...

Right into the mother of all right hooks! My god! The great Muhammad Ali himself never threw a soupier bone! Jerry Lawler just reminded everyone why fans (or at least some random dude who once called into a wrestling radio show in 96 or 97) called him "The Human Cement Mixer." He reached all the way back to Knoxville and swung his arm wide enough to pass over Nashville in putting the full power of the State of Tennessee into that punch which landed on JBL's face in Memphis. 

JBL was out on his feet. The eyes rolled back into his head. You could just about see the stars circling over his head like the cartoon villain he is. But before JBL could fall with a big TIMBER, Lawler grabbed the back of his head and set him up for a big Piledriver...

It connects! 1-2-3! Jerry Lawler has done it! The USWA Championship is back where it belongs! All is once again right with the world! Or in poetry form...
 

Another villain vanquished
The King reigns supreme
Citizens of Memphis rejoice
Like something out of a dream

Jerry Lawler: 2
JBL: 1

Post-match sees all the fan favorites and tweeners storm the ring to celebrate with their King as the THUNDERDOME is raised. Then the fans storm the ring for more celebrating. This goes on for over a half hour as the PA system plays such crowd pleasers as the Rocky, Star Wars, and 2001 themes. Then Holding Out For A Hero, Eye of the Tiger and finally We Are The Champions. 

Meanwhile, on the other side of Tennessee, in Knoxville, a freak lightning storm strikes the JBL sculpture high atop Mount de la Mieux. It miraculously reshapes the sculpture into this....

At last Lawler had achieved the one thing remaining on his bucket list- Immortality. 

*Obviously wrestling will never be this good again. But I will even go a step further. With one exception wrestling was never this good even back when it was good. The lone exception? 96-98....in my basement. 

Next Time: Road To The Next Lawlermania where our hero The King is set to do battle against his biggest test to date...

I pray to whatever god struck Mount de la Mieux that Test is Lawler's next test.

*I've lost interest in doing extended writeups but this is what my fanfic card would have looked like if I had advanced to the finals and made no steals...

Lawlermania: David vs. Goliath II

1. AMW (c) vs. Varsity Club (Rick Steiner & Charlie Haas)- USWA Tag Title Match

2. Shelton Benjamin vs. Dynamite Kid vs. John Morrison vs. 2 Cold Scorpio- Grab The Brass Ring Ladder Match

3. Rick Rude (c) vs. Eddie Kingston- TV Title Match

4. Scott Steiner vs. Davey Boy Smith- The powerhouses of their respective teams collide as both men embark upon solo careers

5. Terry Funk vs. Nick Bockwinkel- Culture Clash Grudge Match 

6. Ric Flair vs. Jake Roberts- No DQ Match brought about when Jake DDTed Flair on the concrete as Ric accepted A Major Award from PWI's Bill Apter

7. Randy Savage (c) vs. Great Muta- Southern Title Match brought about when Muta went from face-leaning tweener to full on heel by misting Savage

8. Sting vs. JBL- I Quit Match with a lot of build

9. Andre The Giant (c) vs. Jerry Lawler- DAVID vs. GOLIATH II for the USWA Championship inside a 15 foot high Steel Cage with lots and lots of build

*Remembered I had an incomplete rough draft saved. Might as well post it here... 

The Aftermath

Jerry Lawler and his legions of loyal subjects were riding high when USWA rolled into Jonesboro, AR for what would come to be known as The Jonesboro Massacre. Main event was Lawler defending his newly won USWA Championship against the man he took the title from, JBL, in a Lawlermania rematch. The so-called massacre took place when Lawler burned his latest nemesis by throwing a fireball in his face. The 3 count was academic after that. JBL spent considerable time in the hospital and decided managing would be more beneficial to his long term health when the doctors finally cleared him a few months later. More on that in a bit.

Next stop: Kennett, MO for the Show-Me State Showdown. This time it was Jerry Lawler vs. new TV Champion Rick Rude in the main event for the USWA Championship. Rude earned a shot at "The King" by defeating him in a Lethal Lottery tag match several months back. Rude's newly won TV Title was not on the line. Lawler emerged victorious once again, this time with his patented Piledriver.

Then it was back to the wrestling capital of the world for Walking In Memphis at the historic Mid South Coliseum. The sellout crowd saw an action packed show headlined by a star-studded main event which saw Jerry Lawler put his USWA Championship on the line against Ric Flair, Randy Savage, and Sting in a Final Four Match. The three contenders "earned" the title shot by disputing Lawler's claim to be the Greatest of all Time in recent months. This was under IYH February '97 rules. Lawler once again emerged victorious. Ric Flair was the last man eliminated when Lawler deposited him over the top rope.

Lawler then had one of his overblown celebrations which would no doubt be nauseating with any other wrester in any other town. Yet it manages to be endearing when it's Lawler in Memphis. Because Memphis is different. It's still real in Memphis, brother. Anyway, fans flooded the ring while the three defeated warriors paid homage to The King by reluctantly bending the knee. Lawler then commenced yapping on the mic about he defeated each and every one of the wrestlers who disputed his GOAT claim- Flair, Funk, Bock, Savage, Sting, and "most satisfying of all JBL."

And wouldn't you know it? JBL picked that very moment to return (wearing bandages on his face) with his dragon Andre the Giant by his side. Andre had been absent since Lawlermania due to an extended Japanese tour. JBL reminded Lawler that he forgot one man...The biggest, baddest man of them all...The man who was undefeated for 15 years...The 7'4 525 pound giant standing right by his side. Then JBL deepened the backstory. Turns out Andre has held a grudge against Lawler dating all the way back to the late 70s for this Apter Mag cover...



Lawler tried to laugh it off as his good friend Bill Apter just trying to sell some magazines. If anything, Lawler should be the one upset about this ancient magazine cover since it was him rather than Andre Bill Apter referred to as a midget.

But Andre and JBL weren't having it. They want their shot at Lawler. Lawler accepted the challenge and reminded his tormentors what happened when David met Goliath all those years ago. JBL snapped back by correctly stating people only remember Davids toppling Goliaths because of how rare it is. 99% of the time Goliath squashes David. Sure, people remember Buster Douglas upsetting Tyson, or Eli leading the Giants to victory over Brady's Patriots, but what about the dozens of forgotten ham and eggers Tyson knocked out in minutes? What about the 18 forgotten victims of New England dominance? JBL further infuriated The King and his loyal royal subjects by reminding them "real life isn't a fairy tale and you're not even a real king!" The italicized part naturally drew nuclear heat. 

But before we get to the big King vs. Giant match in Johnson City, TN we have to cover Lawler wrestling JBL's mercenary Test at a spot show in Jackson, TN. Lawler passed the Test by making relatively quick work of JBL's hired gun. Post-match saw JBL and Friends send Test back to his home planet.

It's that kind of morning for me.

WAKE AND BAKE(R)!

So I smoked a little joint and decided to read this last post. INCREDIBLE! I have to be honest; never really cared for Lawlermania even though 🤯 was pumping it, but this is incredible shit. 'Sending Test back to his home planet' is awesome. The whole storyline is great. The writing by you is top notch shit, too. Super wild and shocking (no offense) how much I enjoyed this.

Why do I care so much about Jerry Lawler?

Because Baker made me!

Thanks for the compliments KING KID. Though I must confess to stealing the "home planet" line from The Simpsons. 

Lawlermania: David vs. Goliath II Results

1. America's Most Wanted retained the USWA Tag Team Championship by defeating the Varsity Club duo of Rick Steiner & Charlie Haas when they pinned Haas after a Death Sentence

2. Shelton Benjamin earned a future title shot by winning a Grab The Brass Ring Ladder Match over John Morrison, 2 Cold Scorpio, and Dynamite Kid.

3. Rick Rude retained the USWA TV Championship by defeating Eddie Kingston after a low blow and Rude Awakening.

4. Scott Steiner defeated Davey Boy Smith by ramming The Bulldog's head into an exposed top turnbuckle after removing the pad and then rolling him up with a handful of tights for the win. First 80% of the match combined good, clean scientific wrestling with jaw dropping power moves. Steiner grew increasingly frustrated as Davey Boy kept getting the better of him and resorted to chicanery down the stretch. Crowd was booing Steiner hard when it ended. An interesting turn of events to be sure.

5. Terry Funk wrestled Nick Bockwinkel to a draw after the referee lost control of the action when the two legendary veterans had an extended brawl on the floor.

6. Ric Flair gained a measure of revenge on Jake "The Snake" Roberts by making him submit to his patented Figure Four Leg Lock.

7. Randy Savage retained the USWA Southern Championship by defeating Great Muta in an excellent match.

8. Sting made poor JBL submit to the Scorpion Death Lock.

*Potentially lengthy intermission with...

9. Andre The Giant (c) vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler for the USWA Championship in DAVID vs. GOLIATH II still to come. 

I interpret the lengthy intermission to mean the Baker-man has potentially booked himself into the corner and needs to figure out a fitting finish for all involved.

Jul 23, 2021 2:18:22 GMT 🤯 said:

I interpret the lengthy intermission to mean the Baker -man has potentially booked himself into the corner and needs to figure out a fitting finish for all involved.

Au contraire mon frère. I've had the finish planned out for weeks. It just involves a lot of writing since Lawlermania main events deserve all the bells and whistles. I'll come back to it when I'm in the mood and have the time. 

Jul 23, 2021 2:37:10 GMT Baker said:

Jul 23, 2021 2:18:22 GMT 🤯 said:

I interpret the lengthy intermission to mean the Baker -man has potentially booked himself into the corner and needs to figure out a fitting finish for all involved.

Au contraire mon frère. I've had the finish planned out for weeks. It just involves a lot of writing since Lawlermania main events deserve all the bells and whistles. I'll come back to it when I'm in the mood and have the time. 

Damn me for projecting! I always get myself in a bind with matches where I can't settle on a finish.

Looking forward to the glory!