Mar 26, 2022 0:15:59 GMT Ed said:

Mar 26, 2022 0:02:46 GMT @ness said:

Wouldn't last long, but what if Eugene debuted today?

They botched the Eugene character badly. He should have been portrayed as an idiot savant-like guy. AKA Rainman.

They should've turned him into a psychopath who wore a mask after the abuse he received.

Oh wait; I did that storyline.

Course his run happened during Benoit's time on Raw so the guy who played him will never get credit for it.

Mar 26, 2022 0:17:32 GMT KING KID said:

Mar 26, 2022 0:15:59 GMT Ed said:

They botched the Eugene character badly. He should have been portrayed as an idiot savant-like guy. AKA Rainman.

They should've turned him into a psychopath who wore a mask after the abuse he received.

Oh wait; I did that storyline.

That was in KWF? Man that sounds great. Why is it people only mention the serenghetti?

Mar 26, 2022 0:18:16 GMT @ness said:

Mar 26, 2022 0:17:32 GMT KING KID said:

They should've turned him into a psychopath who wore a mask after the abuse he received.

Oh wait; I did that storyline.

That was in KWF? Man that sounds great. Why is it people only mention the serenghetti?

-_- 

It was actually in the fan fic draft where you voted for RT because you assumed I was going to win.... 

Mar 26, 2022 0:11:44 GMT KING KID said:

Mar 26, 2022 0:02:46 GMT @ness said:

Wouldn't last long, but what if Eugene debuted today?

Never seen a question get answered before the actual question.

One-liner of the year.

Mar 26, 2022 0:59:27 GMT Emperor said:

Mar 26, 2022 0:11:44 GMT KING KID said:

Never seen a question get answered before the actual question.

One-liner of the year.

Seconded.

First legitimate like I've doled out since son was born.

KING KID killed it. I'm still legit LOLing over here.

Can't even imagine how much I'd be dying right now if I was high.

I love you, KING KID.

If you believe OJ is innocent, you're a MARK! This line had me wanting Pillman & New Jack to fight each other.

Lanny Poffo should have had a second life in wrestling as a commentator or ring announcer. What a voice!

Speaking of ring announcers, Steve Corino low key had some of the best entrances in wrestling history during the early days of ROH. Those long-winded introductions were always a hoot.

Saw Dick Togo wearing an Iron Maiden shirt when I watched some 1998 WWF the other day. Apparently Togo frequently wore Iron Maiden shirts when he wrestled in WWF? Don't remember that, but then Iron Maiden meant nothing to me in 1998. Togo had already been my favorite member of Kaientai since, well, 1998 and this newly discovered Iron Maiden fandom has only increased his lead over the field.

Just realized today is the 35th anniversary of Wrestlemania III. I am so old.

Big Pro Wrestling regret - we never got a completely bitter Randy Orton YouShoot where he just buries people for two hours.

I think it's very cool of Orton to admit that. I've seen maybe 20 Randy Orton matches in my life, and he only seemed truly engaged in one of them (vs. Mick Foley at Backlash), so what Orton is describing as periods of disinterest seems to me to be the bulk of his career. Am I wrong? Surely some of you have seen most of his career.

That said, for all the talent that Orton supposedly had/has, completely comical they spent a decade+ pushing him as a 1B with that level of effort. Meritocracy in wrestling is surely a lie.

Every now and then they'd put Randy with somebody he clearly respected and he would put more effort into his performance but it wasn't like he was Daniel Bryan or CM Punk coming up with cool stuff. Orton had his routine down pat, it was about what his opponent brought to the table and if they could give the match a personality.

That's been Randy's biggest challenge as an entertainer. Since he can't be true to himself as a performer because he's in an overly scripted PG environment he relies on others to carry the load. When he was paired up with the Wyatt Family in 2016 that really helped him overcome that short-coming for a brief period of time. Similarly the act with Riddle RK-Bro as ridiculous as it is has gotten over because Randy plays well off of Riddle who love him or hate him just gives it everything.

Orton has always floated around the main event but his 1B pushes were sporadic at best. Of course it didn't help that the WWE would cut him off at the knees so even when he held the belt for 200+ days they made it clear that he was just keeping it warm for Hunter. My favourite part of that 2007-08 run was that it was clearly meant to be like 2002 where HHH was going to get revenge against the guy who tore his quad only for Cena to make a far more shocking return after he tore his pac. Despite Cena actually getting over, they stuck with Hunter but under the proviso that he went to the B-show while they looked after Batista who was pissed that the best they could come up with him was Umaga at WMXXIV. Of course in typical Batista fashion, he got injured and stalled his run which he did time and time again. My favourite Batista injury was where he tore his bicep against Orton for the WWE Championship and they had to call the match early and they still put the strap on Batista.

I think it was divine intervention because HHH finally had to put Orton over for real on the next PPV after chickening out earlier and doing it in a six-man tag.

Randy is always put over as the true blueprint (sorry Mmmatt) of what a wrestler is. But he never seems to give a shit and only ever shows flashes of brilliance. Probably has a tight 10 match countdown as I doubt he has more than that to rank.

Shootist mentioning Michaels & Taker having a New Generation Mega Powers moment in the Match Review thread reminded me I saw them against Goldust & Mankind in an ARMAGEDDON RULES Cage Match at a sparsely attended November 96 DC area house show. What looks like a guaranteed **** affair on paper ended up being a forgettable nothing match. Still 10x better than the Sid/Vader Stretcher Match stinker from the same show though. MOTN was Owen & Bulldog vs. Godwinns followed by Bradshaw/Aldo. Wrestling can be weird like that.

Of all the Will Smith slapping Chris Rock memes, this is the only one that matters:

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}

Mar 26, 2022 0:15:59 GMT Ed said:

Mar 26, 2022 0:02:46 GMT @ness said:

Wouldn't last long, but what if Eugene debuted today?

They botched the Eugene character badly. He should have been portrayed as an idiot savant-like guy. AKA Rainman.

I feel like One Night Stand 2006 would have been the best time for WWE to change up the Eugene gimmick. They had him come out to annoy the crowd (since it was ECW fans), then the Sandman canes him. It would have been better to have him come out, then Sandman comes out, and once it looks like Sandman is going to cane him, have Eugene say "woah, calm down. No need to cane me. I was just pretending to retard so my uncle could get me a job here. I'll quit acting like that though, okay?" Then have Sandman shake his hand, then proceed to cane the crap out of him.

It keeps it from looking like Sandman is a piece of crap caning a mentally handicapped guy, while leading to Eugene starting a fued with Sandman on the new ECW, playing a serious heel, and being given a chance to show what he can actually do with his ability.

Apr 3, 2022 16:04:20 GMT Leper Messiah said:

Mar 26, 2022 0:15:59 GMT Ed said:

They botched the Eugene character badly. He should have been portrayed as an idiot savant-like guy. AKA Rainman.

I feel like One Night Stand 2006 would have been the best time for WWE to change up the Eugene gimmick. They had him come out to annoy the crowd (since it was ECW fans), then the Sandman canes him. It would have been better to have him come out, then Sandman comes out, and once it looks like Sandman is going to cane him, have Eugene say "woah, calm down. No need to cane me. I was just pretending to retard so my uncle could get me a job here. I'll quit acting like that though, okay?" Then have Sandman shake his hand, then proceed to cane the crap out of him.

It keeps it from looking like Sandman is a piece of crap caning a mentally handicapped guy, while leading to Eugene starting a fued with Sandman on the new ECW, playing a serious heel, and being given a chance to show what he can actually do with his ability.

Fuck me do I love this.

If fan fiction wasn't totally dead, I'd demand you book some more what-ifs to see what else your brilliant mind is capable of.

For the first time in ages I heard a person talking wrestling in the wild. Guy approximately 60 years old who manages an auto parts store not far from where I work who was known slightly to me before today in that I've said hello in passing a few times (he is frequently outside smoking), bought a windshield wiper or two at his store, and he once got his employee to give me a jump start when my battery died. Anyway, he was talking on his phone and I happened to overhear him say "Did you watch NXT?" which segued into him talking the week in wrestling with his friend on the phone. Lingered for a minute or so just in case his conversation finished before I had to move on. It did! I was like "Sorry for eavesdropping, but I heard you mention NXT as I was walking by. You a wrestling fan, huh?" And we ended up talking wrestling for about 5 minutes until it was time for me to go.

He's been a fan since the Bruno Sammartino days. Went to all the Baltimore house shows back in the day. Even attended Wrestlemanias 4 & 5 at Trump Plaza. Still watches all the WWE shows and even AEW. So that was pretty cool.

EDIT: Forgot the best part! He told me a story I had never heard before. According to this guy, The Rock almost bought WWE! That can't be true...can it? I love how wacky rumors like that still exist, even if only among the elderly. Reminds me of the days when kids would argue adamantly about their being multiple Ultimate Warriors, Undertakers, and Kanes, with the first one usually having died in these wrestling urban legends.

Reading Baker,-man's story compels me to want to start a go-fund page so that older gentleman could possibly start a random podcast. We need a balance to Cornette's bitterness.

Needs more Baker goodness. I'm sure there's kids that resemble him on his old mail route.

I'd be his cohost if I didn't umm suck at uhhh pondcats...podcasts.

Apr 9, 2022 21:09:28 GMT @ness said:

Needs more Baker goodness. I'm sure there's kids that resemble him on his old mail route.

Ness just jumped 5 spots in the PW Power 10

Man, if that moron Sam Roberts can create a podcast, the Baker, man can.

Apr 9, 2022 21:23:57 GMT Ed said:

Man, if that moron Sam Roberts can create a podcast, the Baker , man can.

Baker just needs a catch phrase like what's the haps?

Apr 9, 2022 21:30:09 GMT @ness said:

Apr 9, 2022 21:23:57 GMT Ed said:

Man, if that moron Sam Roberts can create a podcast, the Baker , man can.

Baker just needs a catch phrase like what's the haps?

“Silent but prudent” says hello.

Apr 9, 2022 21:35:22 GMT Baker said:

Apr 9, 2022 21:30:09 GMT @ness said:

Baker just needs a catch phrase like what's the haps?

“Silent but prudent” says hello.

Silent but prudent says nothing. But his presence is always known.

Yo, I can't help but dislike Roberts. The guy just comes across like if he was a pervert trying to get too friendly with Sasha Banks, for example, he'd pull his credentials & act as if he's entitled to grope her if he wanted to. I'm not saying Roberts is that way but he just comes off like a schmuck, to me

Now @ness has me hung up on catchphrases. Some oldie but goodie Bakerisms to compliment the iconic silent but prudent...

Low Proboscis: noun- the dick
Example: Ooh! He just hit him in the low proboscis! Thaaaat's GOTTAhurt!
*used interchangeably with lower proboscis

Buddy Landel: to suck, often in an endearing way
Example: Did you see Vince Buddy Landel the Stunner at Wrestlemania? 

Fifth of Bosco: PG for can of whoop ass
Example: The King is gonna open up a fifth of bosco on JBL at this year's Lawlermania.
*Properly pronounced Fidda Bosco
==========
Until recently I overused the word "mustn't" in real life. It lead to this conversation...

Her: Mustn't? lol is that a real word?
Me: Yeah!
Her: I mean nowadays. Not the 19th Century.
Me: Umm....yeah?

So I've made a conscious effort to use more modern vernacular since then. For example I haven't called a year a twelvemonth in a fortnight.

Feel like there is Bret resurgence happening where more and more people recognize he's one of the funniest humans on the planet.