Post by 🤯 on Dec 23, 2022 13:40:55 GMT
Foos, All34LOL, Gyro LC, @ness, et al...
How good would this have been!?
Baker-man, Kilgore, Neo Zeed — I assume yinz are out of the loop, BUT if you truly hate the MCU, then I highly recommend checking out The Boys on Amazon A-S-f'n-P.
Anyway...
General consensus (at least in the IWC) seems to be Lex Luger would've been MUCH better suited remaining a heel in the WWF. But as the subtle yet nevertheless awkward transition from Narcissus to The Narcissist indicated, Lex's heel packaging was too intelligent for the fans. Not sure if there were IP issues or just Vince-isms precluding them from using the "Total Package" schtick, but a relatively recent ADHD-C/OCD/etc. epiphany had me realizing perhaps the most ideal packaging for Lex in the WWF was not as an heir to Hogan's Superman mantle but rather as the Bizarro to Hogan's Superman (look at all these comics references!!!)...
Hear me out:
Homelander from Garth Ennis's The Boys is the love child of Superman and Captain America but with Peacemaker's douche-baggery and power-tripping fascism turned up to 11,000. So, patriotic at his core but also a narcissistic, hypocritical psychopath... just like America at her worst? And yet, he still has legions who do genuinely root for him.
So, let's imagine a ballsy as hell WWF running with...
"Made in the USA" (or "American Made") Lex Luger!!!~
Perhaps pushing him too hard as a face at first, which helps in relatively quickly revealing the true heel he is. Or just going all-in on the heel deal from the drop. Anyway... how do we book such a run?
I still like his unveiling by Heenan at the '93 Rumble, just more Stars 'n' Stripes hoopla. Then, was he injured at the time? If not, what stopped him from also competing in the Rumble itself? Were we just trying to protect him? What if we give Yoko's big win to Lex instead then!? I like the idea of Lex being unveiled and then subsequently entering the Rumble late (#30?), knocking Savage out cold with a loaded forearm, then shit-canning Macho Man to the floor over the top rope to win the WrestleMania main event title shot against Bret Hart.
Lex makes it a "USA vs. Canada/The World" issue on the Road to WrestleMania... saying he represents the Red, White & Blue while Bret's Pink & Black maybe stands for the gays and minorities? Lex says FUCK THAT! Time for the dawn of a new era and the crowning of a real man's man as champion at WrestleMania.
En route to WrestleMania, Lex makes it personal by caving Owen's face in with a loaded forearm. Then, to everyone's surprise, Lex becomes the first heel to win the title at WrestleMania... he knocks Bret out with the loaded forearm while the referee is down or otherwise distracted, then puts the KO'd Bret's unconscious carcass in the American Rack. Red comes to and rules in Lex's favor via TKO. New Champ! But Hulk Hogan saw what happened on the monitor and won't stand for such injustice, so we pull the same bullshit with Hulk winning the belt in an impromptu match.
Livid Lex wants revenge and ultimately gets it at KOTR 1993. While Bret gets his same make-good as IRL, Lex gets the Yoko moment of killing off Hulkamania to reclaim HIS belt. Let's bill it as the Real American (Hulk) versus the Ideal American (Lex). Or Superman vs. Lex Luthor is we want to stick with comics references.
Anyway, at KOTR '93...
Maybe instead of a fireball though it's some sort of backfiring Brutus "The BFF" Beefcake interference... like Beefer gets on the apron to get in Lex's face late in the match after Lex attempts some underhanded tactics, so Lex caves Beefer's surgically-reconstructed face in with a loaded forearm, making Hulk distraught and distracted enough to lower his guard to eat a loaded forearm himself while the referee is occupied with Beefer's status on the floor. Then it's a callback to WrestleMania with Lex putting Hulk's KO'd carcass in the American Rack for the TKO/submission. All is right in the world again, as Lex is champion once more... and it's even sweeter as Hulkamania is at long last no more.
Since Lex is already on top and since Yoko is less of a thing in this universe, the Independence Day Body Slam Challenge is slightly less of a thing. Let's give that rub to the still undefeated and now Intercontinental Champion (since WMIX) Tatanka. This puts Tatanka on a collision course with some added momentum to challenge Lex at SummerSlam in a Native American vs. Ideal American, Champion vs. Champion match. Yadda yadda yadda... Lex hands Tatanka Tatanka's first defeat. Shawn & Diesel can replace Ted & IRS in the Razor/Kid program, and they can have their Action Zone classic as a hot opener. Then Steiners can either win or defend tag gold against Money, Inc. in their hometown.
Through the fall, Lex champions a L4A campaign. It can stand for Live For America and/or Long Live Lex Luger's America, either or both are good. We empathize living life to contrast the thematic elements of Lex's next adversary... the dead man, Undertaker.
Just like America will never die, neither will Lex. Lex swallows his fear and faces the Reaper like a man when it's put up or shut up at Survivor Series... but the match ultimately ends in some sort of schmozz to set up a casket match as their return match at Royal Rumble. At Royal Rumble, Lex single-handedly "kills" Undertaker with three consecutive loaded forearm that topple the Dead Man into the ringside casket. Same post-match schtick as real life.
Instead of sharing his win with Lex, Bret wins outright. A pissy Owen calls Bret out for focusing more on the Rumble then their tag title shot. Owen even questions if Bret was faking his knee injury just to get out of potentially being "stuck" in a tag team with his little brother. We somehow find a way to still get Bret/Owen at WrestleMania PLUS Bret/Lex.
Lex, being a man's man, offers to wrestle twice at WrestleMania to keep things more "fair" for Bret. Lex handpicks former champion Bob Backlund, whom he squashes Diesel-style with a running loaded forearm after the opening bell. The shot concusses Backlund and plants the TBI seeds for Backlund to become Mister. In the curtain jerker, Owen upsets Bret to plant seeds of doubt. In the main event, Bret counters the American Rack into a crucifix (martyr symbolism intended) to pin Lex and at long last once again become champion.
In the wake of WrestleMania, Lex becomes the crown jewel of Ted DiBiase's Million Dollar Corporation. Ted says Lex was robbed at WrestleMania, presents Lex with the Million Dollar Championship, and says Lex is still the real man's man champion in the WWF. Builds to a rematch with Bret at KOTR '94. Owen's coronation is contrasted by Bret retaining the title against Lex. For added spice, let's say Ted brings in Underfaker to stand in Lex's corner in a bodyguard role to counteract Jim Neidhart being in Bret's corner. Bret is DQ'd for Anvil interference just like real life. So although Bret retains, Lex technically has a win over the champ. They're tied at a win a piece.
SummerSlam 1994 sees a returning Undertaker defeat Underfaker and Bret retain against Owen in a cage still. Maybe we have Lex defend the MDC against Tatanka in a lesser billed rematch from the previous year? Or maybe Lex tags with Bam Bam Bigelow to win the tag titles off of the Headshrinkers? Anyway...
We pivot to Bret vs. Backlund/Owen in the fall like real life, with Owen helping Backlund defeat Bret at Survivor Series to win the title. Maybe for added spice, Lex is the special guest referee since he hates everyone involved?
Diesel squashes Backlund like real life, and Royal Rumble 1995 sees Diesel defend against Lex while Shawn goes the distance as #1 and eliminates #2 Bret (instead of Bulldog) in the end to earn the WrestleMania title shot.
Lex does a program defending the Million Dollar Championship against Bulldog at WrestleMania while Bret ends his beef with Backlund, Shawn & Diesel do their thing, Owen brings in Yoko as a surprise to win the tag belts, and Undertaker vanquishes Ted's undercard underlings in a grave consequences gauntlet to force the Million Dollar Corporation to file for bankruptcy.
Ted files for Chapter 11 instead of 7 and reorganizes his faction as the bigger, better, badder DiBiase Industries. IRS, King Kong Bundy, Tatanka, and Nikolai Volkoff all get the boot. Lex, Kama, and Bigelow are joined by new tag team the Made Men (former faces Men on a Mission now turned heel) and new crown jewel Sid.
Sid gets the first-ever In Your House title shot at Diesel. Lex gets left off the card, building his jealousy of Sid.
KOTR '95 sees Diesel and a returning Shawn tag together in the main event against Sid & Lex, representing DiBiase Industries. Shawn picks up the win for his team with Sweet Chin Music on Lex. Ted & Sid blame the loss on Lex. Lex is increasingly pissy about Ted favoring Did over him.
So... Lex costs Sid Sid's lumberjack rematch against Diesel at IYH #2. DiBiase Industries is imploding heading into SummerSlam. Ted pits Lex vs. Sid with Lex's Million Dollar Championship on the line. At best, getting to vent their frustrations with each other in the ring will lead to them letting bygones be bygones.
Anyway... Sid powerbombs Lex straight out of DiBiase Industries AND the WWF at SummerSlam to become the new Million Dollar Champion. Lex packs his bags and heads back south in time to debut on the debuting Nitro. Meanwhile, Sid blows off his deferred program with Shawn by jobbing to Shawn on RAW in a match that unifies the Million Dollar Championship into Shawn's Intercontinental Championship.
How good would this have been!?
Baker-man, Kilgore, Neo Zeed — I assume yinz are out of the loop, BUT if you truly hate the MCU, then I highly recommend checking out The Boys on Amazon A-S-f'n-P.
Anyway...
General consensus (at least in the IWC) seems to be Lex Luger would've been MUCH better suited remaining a heel in the WWF. But as the subtle yet nevertheless awkward transition from Narcissus to The Narcissist indicated, Lex's heel packaging was too intelligent for the fans. Not sure if there were IP issues or just Vince-isms precluding them from using the "Total Package" schtick, but a relatively recent ADHD-C/OCD/etc. epiphany had me realizing perhaps the most ideal packaging for Lex in the WWF was not as an heir to Hogan's Superman mantle but rather as the Bizarro to Hogan's Superman (look at all these comics references!!!)...
Hear me out:
Homelander from Garth Ennis's The Boys is the love child of Superman and Captain America but with Peacemaker's douche-baggery and power-tripping fascism turned up to 11,000. So, patriotic at his core but also a narcissistic, hypocritical psychopath... just like America at her worst? And yet, he still has legions who do genuinely root for him.
So, let's imagine a ballsy as hell WWF running with...
"Made in the USA" (or "American Made") Lex Luger!!!~
Perhaps pushing him too hard as a face at first, which helps in relatively quickly revealing the true heel he is. Or just going all-in on the heel deal from the drop. Anyway... how do we book such a run?
I still like his unveiling by Heenan at the '93 Rumble, just more Stars 'n' Stripes hoopla. Then, was he injured at the time? If not, what stopped him from also competing in the Rumble itself? Were we just trying to protect him? What if we give Yoko's big win to Lex instead then!? I like the idea of Lex being unveiled and then subsequently entering the Rumble late (#30?), knocking Savage out cold with a loaded forearm, then shit-canning Macho Man to the floor over the top rope to win the WrestleMania main event title shot against Bret Hart.
Lex makes it a "USA vs. Canada/The World" issue on the Road to WrestleMania... saying he represents the Red, White & Blue while Bret's Pink & Black maybe stands for the gays and minorities? Lex says FUCK THAT! Time for the dawn of a new era and the crowning of a real man's man as champion at WrestleMania.
En route to WrestleMania, Lex makes it personal by caving Owen's face in with a loaded forearm. Then, to everyone's surprise, Lex becomes the first heel to win the title at WrestleMania... he knocks Bret out with the loaded forearm while the referee is down or otherwise distracted, then puts the KO'd Bret's unconscious carcass in the American Rack. Red comes to and rules in Lex's favor via TKO. New Champ! But Hulk Hogan saw what happened on the monitor and won't stand for such injustice, so we pull the same bullshit with Hulk winning the belt in an impromptu match.
Livid Lex wants revenge and ultimately gets it at KOTR 1993. While Bret gets his same make-good as IRL, Lex gets the Yoko moment of killing off Hulkamania to reclaim HIS belt. Let's bill it as the Real American (Hulk) versus the Ideal American (Lex). Or Superman vs. Lex Luthor is we want to stick with comics references.
Anyway, at KOTR '93...
Maybe instead of a fireball though it's some sort of backfiring Brutus "The BFF" Beefcake interference... like Beefer gets on the apron to get in Lex's face late in the match after Lex attempts some underhanded tactics, so Lex caves Beefer's surgically-reconstructed face in with a loaded forearm, making Hulk distraught and distracted enough to lower his guard to eat a loaded forearm himself while the referee is occupied with Beefer's status on the floor. Then it's a callback to WrestleMania with Lex putting Hulk's KO'd carcass in the American Rack for the TKO/submission. All is right in the world again, as Lex is champion once more... and it's even sweeter as Hulkamania is at long last no more.
Since Lex is already on top and since Yoko is less of a thing in this universe, the Independence Day Body Slam Challenge is slightly less of a thing. Let's give that rub to the still undefeated and now Intercontinental Champion (since WMIX) Tatanka. This puts Tatanka on a collision course with some added momentum to challenge Lex at SummerSlam in a Native American vs. Ideal American, Champion vs. Champion match. Yadda yadda yadda... Lex hands Tatanka Tatanka's first defeat. Shawn & Diesel can replace Ted & IRS in the Razor/Kid program, and they can have their Action Zone classic as a hot opener. Then Steiners can either win or defend tag gold against Money, Inc. in their hometown.
Through the fall, Lex champions a L4A campaign. It can stand for Live For America and/or Long Live Lex Luger's America, either or both are good. We empathize living life to contrast the thematic elements of Lex's next adversary... the dead man, Undertaker.
Just like America will never die, neither will Lex. Lex swallows his fear and faces the Reaper like a man when it's put up or shut up at Survivor Series... but the match ultimately ends in some sort of schmozz to set up a casket match as their return match at Royal Rumble. At Royal Rumble, Lex single-handedly "kills" Undertaker with three consecutive loaded forearm that topple the Dead Man into the ringside casket. Same post-match schtick as real life.
Instead of sharing his win with Lex, Bret wins outright. A pissy Owen calls Bret out for focusing more on the Rumble then their tag title shot. Owen even questions if Bret was faking his knee injury just to get out of potentially being "stuck" in a tag team with his little brother. We somehow find a way to still get Bret/Owen at WrestleMania PLUS Bret/Lex.
Lex, being a man's man, offers to wrestle twice at WrestleMania to keep things more "fair" for Bret. Lex handpicks former champion Bob Backlund, whom he squashes Diesel-style with a running loaded forearm after the opening bell. The shot concusses Backlund and plants the TBI seeds for Backlund to become Mister. In the curtain jerker, Owen upsets Bret to plant seeds of doubt. In the main event, Bret counters the American Rack into a crucifix (martyr symbolism intended) to pin Lex and at long last once again become champion.
In the wake of WrestleMania, Lex becomes the crown jewel of Ted DiBiase's Million Dollar Corporation. Ted says Lex was robbed at WrestleMania, presents Lex with the Million Dollar Championship, and says Lex is still the real man's man champion in the WWF. Builds to a rematch with Bret at KOTR '94. Owen's coronation is contrasted by Bret retaining the title against Lex. For added spice, let's say Ted brings in Underfaker to stand in Lex's corner in a bodyguard role to counteract Jim Neidhart being in Bret's corner. Bret is DQ'd for Anvil interference just like real life. So although Bret retains, Lex technically has a win over the champ. They're tied at a win a piece.
SummerSlam 1994 sees a returning Undertaker defeat Underfaker and Bret retain against Owen in a cage still. Maybe we have Lex defend the MDC against Tatanka in a lesser billed rematch from the previous year? Or maybe Lex tags with Bam Bam Bigelow to win the tag titles off of the Headshrinkers? Anyway...
We pivot to Bret vs. Backlund/Owen in the fall like real life, with Owen helping Backlund defeat Bret at Survivor Series to win the title. Maybe for added spice, Lex is the special guest referee since he hates everyone involved?
Diesel squashes Backlund like real life, and Royal Rumble 1995 sees Diesel defend against Lex while Shawn goes the distance as #1 and eliminates #2 Bret (instead of Bulldog) in the end to earn the WrestleMania title shot.
Lex does a program defending the Million Dollar Championship against Bulldog at WrestleMania while Bret ends his beef with Backlund, Shawn & Diesel do their thing, Owen brings in Yoko as a surprise to win the tag belts, and Undertaker vanquishes Ted's undercard underlings in a grave consequences gauntlet to force the Million Dollar Corporation to file for bankruptcy.
Ted files for Chapter 11 instead of 7 and reorganizes his faction as the bigger, better, badder DiBiase Industries. IRS, King Kong Bundy, Tatanka, and Nikolai Volkoff all get the boot. Lex, Kama, and Bigelow are joined by new tag team the Made Men (former faces Men on a Mission now turned heel) and new crown jewel Sid.
Sid gets the first-ever In Your House title shot at Diesel. Lex gets left off the card, building his jealousy of Sid.
KOTR '95 sees Diesel and a returning Shawn tag together in the main event against Sid & Lex, representing DiBiase Industries. Shawn picks up the win for his team with Sweet Chin Music on Lex. Ted & Sid blame the loss on Lex. Lex is increasingly pissy about Ted favoring Did over him.
So... Lex costs Sid Sid's lumberjack rematch against Diesel at IYH #2. DiBiase Industries is imploding heading into SummerSlam. Ted pits Lex vs. Sid with Lex's Million Dollar Championship on the line. At best, getting to vent their frustrations with each other in the ring will lead to them letting bygones be bygones.
Anyway... Sid powerbombs Lex straight out of DiBiase Industries AND the WWF at SummerSlam to become the new Million Dollar Champion. Lex packs his bags and heads back south in time to debut on the debuting Nitro. Meanwhile, Sid blows off his deferred program with Shawn by jobbing to Shawn on RAW in a match that unifies the Million Dollar Championship into Shawn's Intercontinental Championship.
