Post by Emperor on Oct 23, 2023 18:54:27 GMT
39 - Showdown at Dark City
- I never expected a Pokemon episode to be inspired by the samurai film Yojimbo / spaghetti western remake A Fistful of Dollars.
- Clint Ashwood enters Dark City, a place where Pokemon trainers are shunned. We find out why pretty quickly. Some villagers throw rocks at Clint Ashwood. Ashwood immediately sends Pikachu to take out the ruffians, who turn out to be children. Come on Ash, you went straight to violence, why do you think they hate Pokemon trainers? Use your noggin.
- Dark City is occupied by two rival gangs whose members have tiny dicks. To compensate for their lack of genital prowess they have a daily Pokemon street fight to compete for the right to be the next official gym. The strongest Pokemon in the gangs are Scyther and Electabuzz, who possess two of the silliest voices in the entire series, Electabuzz especially, and they correctly milk those noises for all they're worth.
- By the power of plot coincidence, both Scyther and Electabuzz go insane when they see red, which was discovered by a freak accident involving Pikachu and his new found love for tomato ketchup. Ashwood and co set up a trap to dump barrels of red paint on the gang.
- Scyther and Electabuzz turn on their leaders. The leaders still put up a fight but Pikachu uses his Level 100 move THUNDER to destroy everything.
- The leaders surrender, Pokemon Inspector Nurse Joy reveals herself and denounces the gangs for using Pokemon in street fights. She appoints Ashwood to teach them how to train Pokemon properly. He does a piss poor job of it but they listen to him anyway.
40 - The March of the Exeggutor Squad
- One of the more braindead episodes of the series. I'll try to keep my ranting to a minimum.
- The gang arrive just in time for a carnival. Ash and Brock instantly change into more formal gear (they must have pinched some of Duplica's fashion collection) and start dancing away. Misty and Pikachu react exactly how I would in that situation. Escape the party and the dancing at all costs.
- Misty and Pikachu stumble upon an out-of-luck magician. This is Melvin, a truly pathetic character who is trying to make it to Vegas despite being an awful magician and showman. Misty helps him out of pity but the show is still a bust.
- Melvin owns an Exeggcute. Ash loudly remarks "what does Exeggcute even do?" Exeggcute stares angrily as Ash, hypnotising him. Apparently that is Exeggcute's and Exeggutor's special move. I thought it would have been Seed Bomb, but I forget if that's even a Generation 1 move.
- Ash is hypnotised and under Melvin's control. This happens right in front of Brock and Misty's noses, yet in the next scene Ash is miles away, pulling a carriage on which Melvin is seated, and Brock and Misty somehow don't know where he is. Whuuuhh? Melvin reaches his destination: the land of Exeggutors. He commands Ash to battle them. Ash's Pokemon brutalise the Exeggutors with ruthless efficiency. Melvin catches them all and they stand by his side.
- Oh boy. So many questions. Why isn't Ash anywhere close to this efficient at catching Pokemon normally? Why does Melvin have hundreds of Pokeballs? How is he allowed to have more than six Pokemon at a time? Five Exeggutors should have remained, the rest would have filled Professor Oak's office. That would have been a fun scene. The point is, this shit is beyond inane.
- The daft plot continues when the Exeggutor all hypnotise each other and go on a rampage. Ash uses Charmander to stop them. Charmander does an admirable job, gaining thousands of experience points taking out most of the army, but eventually runs out of PP. Melvin steps in, they do some combined attack like Vivi and Steiner in FFIX, and Charmander wins. OK...?
- The episode concludes with something that actually makes sense. Charmander evolves! All is well.
41 - The Problem With Paras
- This episode centres around a granddaughter and grandmother team who create alternative Pokemon medicine. Interestingly, Team Rocket is the first to encounter the granddaughter Cassandra when she expertly heals a feverish Meowth. Meowth is instantly smitten.
- Ash and company bump into the grandmother at her home, just before Cassandra returns. She demands a Pokemon battle which Ash gladly accepts. Her goal is to evolve her Paras into Parasect to get that sweet mushroom medicine. Unfortunately Paras doesn't have much experience, hence the battles.
- I appreciate this noble adherence to Pokemon rules, but it's a bit late for that because the anime has faithfully taken a great big dump on the mechanics of evolving on many, many occasions. If I can remember that shit, the kids surely will. The difference is, kids don't care about plot inconsistencies. Being an adult is lame.
- OK, that rant is out of my system, let's focus on the episode. Paras is surprisingly adorable and hilariously pathetic. A tiny spark from Paras and a tiny squirt from Squirtle instantly KOs Paras. No wonder Paras is so terrified of battling. After Squirtle KOs Paras, Ash does what he does best, something incredibly stupid, by sending out Charmeleon. At this point in time Ash didn't know that Charmeleon would disobey him and blast Paras off the face off the earth, but even so, sending an evolved Fire pokemon to lose to Paras when a starter Water pokemon easily won is not exactly a genius move.
- Paras gets blasted off the face of the earth and runs away, where Team Rocket seize an opportunity. Meowth takes the lead. He desires to spend the rest of his days with Cassandra, so he wants to help her evolve Paras, but Jesse and James require some persuading. Meowth declares that Parasect's medicine will bring big business. An easy sell.
- Jesse and James agree to help, leading to a classic line. James asks "What do you need Arbok and Weezing for?" to which Meowth responds "Because losing battles is their specialty." Pokemon is at its best when it pokes fun at itself. Maybe this entire episode, where it takes an enormous amount of effort to evolve a Pokemon, is some kind of meta-joke on how easy Pokemon have evolved in past episodes. It isn't really, it's just short-sighted writing.
- Back to the action. Another hilarious scene ensues where the surprisingly powerful Meowth takes out Arbok and Weezing on Paras' behalf. Paras pokes them with its stinger to deal the final blow. In an instant, Paras is super confident. Enter Ash and company. Pikachu pretends to lose, and Ash takes the same very stupid decision to send out Charmeleon. By some miracle, Paras dodges Charmeleon's flames, pokes it in the stomach with its stinger, Charmeleon faints. Boy that Charmeleon sucks. Or maybe Ash cunningly left it at 1HP. Nah, he's not that clever.
- Paras wins, and evolves, as it should be. Parasect exists, all is well. Except for the episode's heroes, Team Rocket, who are sent on their way because Cassandra feels they should be superheroes elsewhere. Meowth is crestfallen. That made me sadder than the fake Pikachu goodbye. Especially when grandmother rubs salt in the wound by pulling a Persian out of her ass. Meowth deserves better.
- I never expected a Pokemon episode to be inspired by the samurai film Yojimbo / spaghetti western remake A Fistful of Dollars.
- Clint Ashwood enters Dark City, a place where Pokemon trainers are shunned. We find out why pretty quickly. Some villagers throw rocks at Clint Ashwood. Ashwood immediately sends Pikachu to take out the ruffians, who turn out to be children. Come on Ash, you went straight to violence, why do you think they hate Pokemon trainers? Use your noggin.
- Dark City is occupied by two rival gangs whose members have tiny dicks. To compensate for their lack of genital prowess they have a daily Pokemon street fight to compete for the right to be the next official gym. The strongest Pokemon in the gangs are Scyther and Electabuzz, who possess two of the silliest voices in the entire series, Electabuzz especially, and they correctly milk those noises for all they're worth.
- By the power of plot coincidence, both Scyther and Electabuzz go insane when they see red, which was discovered by a freak accident involving Pikachu and his new found love for tomato ketchup. Ashwood and co set up a trap to dump barrels of red paint on the gang.
- Scyther and Electabuzz turn on their leaders. The leaders still put up a fight but Pikachu uses his Level 100 move THUNDER to destroy everything.
- The leaders surrender, Pokemon Inspector Nurse Joy reveals herself and denounces the gangs for using Pokemon in street fights. She appoints Ashwood to teach them how to train Pokemon properly. He does a piss poor job of it but they listen to him anyway.
40 - The March of the Exeggutor Squad
- One of the more braindead episodes of the series. I'll try to keep my ranting to a minimum.
- The gang arrive just in time for a carnival. Ash and Brock instantly change into more formal gear (they must have pinched some of Duplica's fashion collection) and start dancing away. Misty and Pikachu react exactly how I would in that situation. Escape the party and the dancing at all costs.
- Misty and Pikachu stumble upon an out-of-luck magician. This is Melvin, a truly pathetic character who is trying to make it to Vegas despite being an awful magician and showman. Misty helps him out of pity but the show is still a bust.
- Melvin owns an Exeggcute. Ash loudly remarks "what does Exeggcute even do?" Exeggcute stares angrily as Ash, hypnotising him. Apparently that is Exeggcute's and Exeggutor's special move. I thought it would have been Seed Bomb, but I forget if that's even a Generation 1 move.
- Ash is hypnotised and under Melvin's control. This happens right in front of Brock and Misty's noses, yet in the next scene Ash is miles away, pulling a carriage on which Melvin is seated, and Brock and Misty somehow don't know where he is. Whuuuhh? Melvin reaches his destination: the land of Exeggutors. He commands Ash to battle them. Ash's Pokemon brutalise the Exeggutors with ruthless efficiency. Melvin catches them all and they stand by his side.
- Oh boy. So many questions. Why isn't Ash anywhere close to this efficient at catching Pokemon normally? Why does Melvin have hundreds of Pokeballs? How is he allowed to have more than six Pokemon at a time? Five Exeggutors should have remained, the rest would have filled Professor Oak's office. That would have been a fun scene. The point is, this shit is beyond inane.
- The daft plot continues when the Exeggutor all hypnotise each other and go on a rampage. Ash uses Charmander to stop them. Charmander does an admirable job, gaining thousands of experience points taking out most of the army, but eventually runs out of PP. Melvin steps in, they do some combined attack like Vivi and Steiner in FFIX, and Charmander wins. OK...?
- The episode concludes with something that actually makes sense. Charmander evolves! All is well.
41 - The Problem With Paras
- This episode centres around a granddaughter and grandmother team who create alternative Pokemon medicine. Interestingly, Team Rocket is the first to encounter the granddaughter Cassandra when she expertly heals a feverish Meowth. Meowth is instantly smitten.
- Ash and company bump into the grandmother at her home, just before Cassandra returns. She demands a Pokemon battle which Ash gladly accepts. Her goal is to evolve her Paras into Parasect to get that sweet mushroom medicine. Unfortunately Paras doesn't have much experience, hence the battles.
- I appreciate this noble adherence to Pokemon rules, but it's a bit late for that because the anime has faithfully taken a great big dump on the mechanics of evolving on many, many occasions. If I can remember that shit, the kids surely will. The difference is, kids don't care about plot inconsistencies. Being an adult is lame.
- OK, that rant is out of my system, let's focus on the episode. Paras is surprisingly adorable and hilariously pathetic. A tiny spark from Paras and a tiny squirt from Squirtle instantly KOs Paras. No wonder Paras is so terrified of battling. After Squirtle KOs Paras, Ash does what he does best, something incredibly stupid, by sending out Charmeleon. At this point in time Ash didn't know that Charmeleon would disobey him and blast Paras off the face off the earth, but even so, sending an evolved Fire pokemon to lose to Paras when a starter Water pokemon easily won is not exactly a genius move.
- Paras gets blasted off the face of the earth and runs away, where Team Rocket seize an opportunity. Meowth takes the lead. He desires to spend the rest of his days with Cassandra, so he wants to help her evolve Paras, but Jesse and James require some persuading. Meowth declares that Parasect's medicine will bring big business. An easy sell.
- Jesse and James agree to help, leading to a classic line. James asks "What do you need Arbok and Weezing for?" to which Meowth responds "Because losing battles is their specialty." Pokemon is at its best when it pokes fun at itself. Maybe this entire episode, where it takes an enormous amount of effort to evolve a Pokemon, is some kind of meta-joke on how easy Pokemon have evolved in past episodes. It isn't really, it's just short-sighted writing.
- Back to the action. Another hilarious scene ensues where the surprisingly powerful Meowth takes out Arbok and Weezing on Paras' behalf. Paras pokes them with its stinger to deal the final blow. In an instant, Paras is super confident. Enter Ash and company. Pikachu pretends to lose, and Ash takes the same very stupid decision to send out Charmeleon. By some miracle, Paras dodges Charmeleon's flames, pokes it in the stomach with its stinger, Charmeleon faints. Boy that Charmeleon sucks. Or maybe Ash cunningly left it at 1HP. Nah, he's not that clever.
- Paras wins, and evolves, as it should be. Parasect exists, all is well. Except for the episode's heroes, Team Rocket, who are sent on their way because Cassandra feels they should be superheroes elsewhere. Meowth is crestfallen. That made me sadder than the fake Pikachu goodbye. Especially when grandmother rubs salt in the wound by pulling a Persian out of her ass. Meowth deserves better.
