Post by 🤯 on Dec 16, 2017 3:01:33 GMT
When the poll closes, whoever has the most votes WINS!
Baker
Steve Austin
Triple H
Ricky Steamboat
Roddy Piper
Randy Orton
DDP
JBL
Booker T
Goldust
Dusty Rhodes
Bob Backlund
Bruno Sammartino
Jacques Rougeau
Carl Ouelette
Dolph Ziggler
Homicide
Tommy Dreamer
The Sandman
Silas Young
Hernandez
Shawn Michaels (stolen from The Kid's roster)
Mick Foley (stolen from The Kid's roster)
The Rock (stolen from UT's roster)
Randy Savage (stolen from UT's roster)
Falconry, Fireworks & Fighting Results
1. LAX defeated Dreamer & Sandman in an Extreme Rules Match when Hernandez pinned Sandman following a Razor's Edge through a table while Homicide took care of Dreamer on the floor.
2. Dolph Ziggler upset Mr. Bob Backlund when Silas Young's interference backfired. An irate Mr. Backlund put Silas in the Crossface Chickenwing after the match.
3. Booker T & Goldust defeated The Quebecers to become NEEEEWWW tag team champions.
4. DDP did to Ricky Steamboat what Randy Orton had done to him on our previous show by hitting a cheap low blow to set up the Diamond Cutter for the win. This started out as a "Scientific Match" but DDP fought dirtier and dirtier after being outworked & outpopped by the more technically adept, more popular Steamboat. DDP left to a chorus of boos as this rivalry has just begun.
5. Dusty Rhodes pinned Roddy Piper with a big elbow drop to win a bloody Bunkhouse Match.
6. Randy Orton defeated Bruno Sammartino by DQ after Bruno kept hitting him with a steel chair Orton himself had introduced to the match earlier. Bruno gains a moral victory while "The Legend Killer" still gets to gloat about technically being the winner, even if he did leave the ring wearing a crimson mask.
7. That damn JBL defeated Cactus Jack in a Falls Count Anywhere match. Cactus had the match won with a piledriver through a table. But it wasn't enough. Cactus wanted to end JBL once and for all. So he went all the way up top for the big elbow to the floor rather than his usual apron launch pad. JBL moved. Cactus crashed & burned. And after about 30 seconds "The Wrestling God" was able to drape an arm over Cactus for the disappointing 1-2-3
8. Steve Austin retained his title by defeating Shawn Michaels & Triple H in a wild Triple Threat Match. Shawn & Hunter mostly worked together and either man could have scored the fall on several occasions if their partner had let them. But dissension soon set in with both men wanting to be the one to dethrone Austin. Stone Cold came storming back and eventually pinned HHH following a Stunner.
Plimpton Promotions Presents...
Live from the campus of Phillips Exeter Academy in beautiful New Hampshire...
Holds, Hot Plates & Havarti
-All fans providing proof of a Paris Review subscription will be given a free hot plate AND a free wheel of Havarti* Cheese!
*Formerly known as "Danish Stilton"
1. Sandman vs. Hernandez- Singapore Cane on a Pole Match
Sandman is out for revenge against the man who pinned him at our previous show. His trademark Singapore Cane will be suspended from a pole. First man to retrieve it gets to use it as a weapon.
2. Tommy Dreamer vs. Silas Young
"The Last Real Man" Silas Young has a problem with just about everybody. Dreamer's offense is "pandering to the fans." In the words of Silas Young, "REAL men don't kiss up to the fans. If those idiots boo ya, you punch 'em in the mouth!" Dreamer of course would never, ever punch his beloved fans. But he'll punch Silas, alright!
3. Dolph Ziggler vs. Homicide
Homicide does not like Dolph Ziggler. "The Showoff" seems to have that effect on the wrestlers of Plimpton Promotions. 'Cide also wants to prove he's more than just a brawler by going move for move with one of the best pure wrestlers in the promotion.
4. The Quebecers vs. Bruno Sammartino & Bob Backlund
In the midst of a slump, the pissed off Quebecers jumped Bruno after the Italian strongman made quick work of Jacques in a tv match. Pierre was about to finish Bruno, possibly forever, with Le Cannonball when a most unexpected source came to Bruno's aid- none of than his former rival, Bob Backlund! The two legends shook hands. Backlund (no longer going by Mister) renounced his evil ways and pleaded with Bruno to forgive him. Not only did Bruno forgive him, he offered to form a tag team! And now the match is made- the longest reigning tag team champions in our promotion's history against the two veteran legends.
5. Ricky Steamboat vs. DDP- No DQ Match
DDP has awoken The Dragon! This won't be Ricky Steamboat as the respectful, scientific wrestler you may be used to. Oh no! This will be "The Dragon" at his most fired up self....the babyface on the roster most likely to be DQed. Only there are no DQ's in this one! I don't think DDP knows what he's gotten himself into. He'll have to break out all the dirty tricks in the book to overcome a fired up Dragon.
6. Cactus Jack vs. Roddy Piper- Falls Count Anywhere Match
These two have engaged in an epic war of words following their mutual gut wrenching defeats at our last show. Cactus has the advantage on paper with this being his specialty match, but he did lose one at our very last event, and you can never count out the cunning "Hot Rod."
7. Dusty Rhodes/Goldust/Booker T vs. DX: Evolved (Shawn Michaels/Triple H/Randy Orton)- 6 Man Tag Grudge Match
This may not be the main event but it's the most hyped match on our show. So many stories here....
DX was bickering and about to break up following their failure to dethrone Austin at our previous show when HHH vs. Goldust and Michaels vs. Booker were booked for tv. DX was irate at having been booked against "B+ players." They managed to win both matches by cheating in hard fought battles, but the tag champs took offense to being called "B+ players," and thus a feud was born. The war of words continued to escalate with DX dropping controversial comments on the alleged B+ players which even caused them to be banned from Twitter (the horror!). Book & Goldust finally had enough and attacked DX during an interview segment....
Meanwhile "The Legend Killer" set his sights on "The American Dream" as his next legend to kill. They had a few confrontations (mostly Orton sneak attacks) that always ended with Dusty standing tall after getting the upper hand. This legend was proving tough to kill. Perhaps Orton needed some backup to help him in his quest...
DX vs. BookDust was booked on tv but it never got very far before Randy Orton interfered while BookDust was in control. Following a 3 on 2 beatdown, HHH announced he was reuniting with his old Evolution ally while Michaels formally welcomed Orton into DX....
DX: Evolved was out for a promo the following week. Booker & Goldust unexpectedly interrupted. The numbers game was once again too much....
Until "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes ran out for the save! He embraced his son after nearly a year of those two being kept apart (they had a heated feud back in the day when Dustin first became Goldust and accused Dusty of being a terrible father). HUGE pop for the father & son reunion!
And now this match between ultimate villains and pure fan favorites is set. There's a lot at stake here. You won't want to miss it!
8. The Rock vs. JBL- #1 Contender Match
JBL was on top of the world the night after upsetting Cactus Jack. Bradshaw was in the midst of one of his trademark rants......Greatest Texan....Wrestling God...yada yada yada...all building up to him challenging Stone Cold to a title match. Only JBL added one to mix this time around when he called himself "The Most Electrifying Man in sports entertainment." The crowd was BEGGING for it. And finally....
IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN came on over the PA system. Crowd lost it.
Rock gave JBL the verbal evisceration millions of wrestling fans had been begging for. Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw was brought up. Blackjack Bradshaw and "his stupid mustache" were not let off the hook. Bradshaw was called "Faarooq's luggage." And it just went on and on with JBL getting angrier and angrier as the insults hit harder and harder.
So the match has been set. The REAL most electrifying man in sports entertainment vs. the self-proclaimed Wrestling God with the winner going on to our next super show to challenge for the title against the winner of.....
9. Steve Austin vs. Randy Savage- No Holds Barred Championship Match
Austin was pissed. Big surprise, huh? This time he was annoyed by a lack of challengers. He doesn't care much about the title. He just wants to whoop some ass. And with all the other top contenders embroiled in feuds, Stone Cold issued an open challenge to any wrestler in the world with the guts to step in his ring and get their ass whooped. That challenge was answered by yet another debuting legend.....
OOOH YEAH! It's the Macho Man Randy Savage! Savage vows to bring the Madness to Stone Cold in yet another dream match between legends.
*Whoa! What a show! You won't want to miss this one! And make sure to bring proof of your Paris Review subscription! Because as good as the wrestling will undoubtedly be, a FREE(!) hot plate and wheel of Havarti (formerly known as "Danish Stilton") cheese might be even better!
<<<VS.>>>
🤯 / RT
Daniel Bryan
Kevin Owens
John Cena (traded Hiroshi Tanahashi to PB)
Pete Dunne
Lance Cade
Rob Van Dam
Bobby Roode (traded Tetsuya Naito to PB)
Low Ki (traded Luke Harper to The Kid)
Trevor Murdoch
Ricardo Rodriguez
Kung Fu Naki
R-Truth
Nikki Bella
Brie Bella
Jack Swagger
Kane
Jack Gallagher
Alberto Del Rio
Ethan Carter III
Montel Vontavious Porter
Christian (stolen from Arrogance_Personified's roster)
Lance Storm (stolen from Arrogance_Personified's roster)
Hulk Hogan (stolen from Jeff's roster)
Kenny Omega (stolen from KITN's roster)
PWA: Pro Wrestling America proudly presents...
Remember the Alamo: The Last Stand #Rosebud
1.) Saskatchewan Scrap: "The Prizefighting Prince of the Provinces" Kevin Owens-Steen vs. "Laconic" Lance Storm
This is a spin-off singles feud stemming from the Roode/Christian stuff (read below for more re: the Canada's Favorite Sons vs. The Un-Americans rivalry). Laconic Lance is the de facto face as the stoic man of few words contrasting the pugnacious, braggadocious, ugly-as-fuck, overachieving asshole that is Owens-Steen. Winner gets a shot at the Bruiserweight Title, because why not.
***
2.) Bruiserweight Title: "The Bitter King of British Strong Style" Peter England (f.k.a. Pete Dunne) (c) vs. Low Ki
The reigning Bruiserweight Champion is more bitter than ever in the wake of the previous PPV, where he was defeated in a champion vs. champion match by PWA Champion Daniel Bryan. England is looking to rebound from that loss with a big win to reassert himself as a dominant champ. Unfortuantely, his next challenger is the lethal Low Ki.
Ki is being rewarded with a title shot as a result of his successful performance at the previous PPV, tagging with mentor RVD to overcome Canada's Favorite Sons in tag action. Ki looks to continue building on that success with another winning performance here. After a recent Low Ki/Daniel Bryan match binge, I'm imagining this being a similarly awesome match... just replace DB's forearms with England's European uppercuts. Stiff City, bitch!
***
3.) Six-Man Tag Team Elimination Match: The Alt-American Alliance ("The Alt-American" Jack Swagger & The Redneck Wrecking Crew (Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch) vs. PWA Tag Team Champions Rush Hour Express (Montel Vontavious Porter & Kung Fu Naki) & "La Cucaracha" Ricardo Rodriguez
The Alt-American Alliance forms when Jack Swagger steps in to prevent the Redneck Wrecking Crew from being deported to Mexico after their loss to the Mexiconnection at the previous PPV. The trio bands together, finding strength in numbers, to start righting all the wrongs in PWA. Some of the first wrongs to be righted include the RWC's PPV losses to the Mexiconnection and PWA Tag Team Champions Rush Hour Express. Other wrongs include Swagger's PPV losing streak. The incendiary triad looks to kill multiple birds with one stone in the form of a PPV win over Rush Hour Express and Ricardo Rodrigeuz here (since Del Rio is tied up otherwise).
To prevent any post-match excuse-making, and to go along with the Alamo/Last Stand theme of the PPV, this match will be a war of attrition contested under elimination rules. Also, for an Alamo-themed show, how fitting would it be for the Mexican to beat those Texarkana rednecks?
***
^^^The Art of Manliness presents How to be a Gentleman, featuring "Gentleman" Jack Gallagher, who will be teaching Little Jimmy how to be a real gentleman^^^
After being kicked to the curb by the increasingly unstable R-Truth, Little Jimmy found himself with no friends and nowhere to call home.
Meanwhile, after winning the "Jack Off" contest at the last PPV, Gentleman Jack feels like he has nothing to prove for the moment and so has turned his attention toward helping others... especially those poor souls in need, like Litle Jimmy.
Inspired by the manliness and worthiness of Gentleman Jack's cause, the Art of Manliness has decided to sponser a non-wrestling segment at this PPV in which Gallagher will teach Little Jimmy the fundamentals of what it means to be a true gentleman. The segment is slated to include a recital of the Gentleman's Code of Conduct; a series of lectures on the Virtues of the Landed Gentry; and lessons on (including but not limited to, in no particular order): sword and knife fighting, fisticuffs, Mary Poppins-style umbrella flight, general table manners, corncob pipe bowl packing, mustache curl waxing, suspender fastening, bowtie tying, formalwear appreciation with a specific focus on couture cumberbunds, lady courting, and how to throw a proper headbutt.
***
4.) "Former TNA Champion Invitational" Elimination Chamber Match: Rob Van Dam vs. "Rudimentary" Robert Roode vs. "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage vs. "Patrick's Brother" Derrick Bateman vs. "El Patrón de Los Pobres" Alberto Del Rio vs. "Ron Killings" R-Truth; winner is declared No. 1 Contender to the PWA Title
I considered having this clusterfuck take place inside Six Sides of Steel or whatever it's called to go along with the TNA theme, but I hate six-sided rings so much that I'd rather be forced to watch every Terry Gordy match in a row instead (I should probably actually watch some more Terry Gordy matches to validate this somewhat arbitrary hatred). Anyway...
The premise behind this match is as follows: Citizen Kane, in his role as the GM of PWA, needed to determine the next challenger for the PWA Title, but he also wanted to shake things up a bit. Realizing he had six former TNA champions on his roster, and liking the idea of placing them in a uniquely WWE environment, Kane (not PI... -_-) decided to go this route. So if the idea strikes you as being dumb as fuck, blame Kane (not PI... -_-). At least he was thinking outside the box, and his heart was in the right place.
To make this a little less random, there are some intermingling feuds here:
After coming together to defeat Canada's Favorite Sons at the previous PPV, Rob Van Dam and Low Ki are each rewarded for their success. Ki is granted a Bruiseweight Title shot at this PPV against Peter England, and RVD is put in a position here (based on his TNA Championship qualification) to potentially win a PWA Title shot.
Meanwhile, Canada's Favorite Sons try to deflect the humiliation of their defeat onto the Un-Americans, who failed to win the PWA Tag Title from Rush Hour Express at the previous PPV. It turns into a bit of a heel-vs.-heel rivalry between Canada's Favorite Sons and the Un-Americans, mostly based on which team is a bigger disappointment to Canadia. Since I hate Owens-Steen more than Storm, and like Christian A LOT more than Roode, the Un-Americans strangely become the de facto faces in this rivalry.
After going toe-to-toe with SuperCena as "The Bateman" but coming up short (just like in Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns!), Derrick Bateman is looking to rebound with a win here. Derrick has recent history with Alberto Del Rio, whose riches he won in their Rags to Riches Match two PPVs ago, but Del Rio has assured Derrick that it's all good between them now that Del Rio has embraced his new role as El Patrón de Los Pobres. If their paths cross inside the Chamber, whatever Del Rio does to Derrick, it'll be nothing personal. That said, Del Rio is hungry for a big win and the prize money that will come along with it as well as the potential purse tied to a future PWA Title match.
And then there's R-Truth, who continues to be an enigma and a half. Going full heel, Truth has dropped poor Little Jimmy like a bad habit and adopted his shoot name (Ron Killings) as quite possibly the oddest nickname in pro wrestling history. In addition to these new quirks, Truth has started smoking cigarettes and wearing his Confederate military duds again. Oh yeah, and I almost forgot to mention... Truth somehow WON the political debate against Citizen Kane at the previous PPV. Kane is still scratching his head over that. Anyway... Also worth mentioning: Truth won an unsanctioned six-sided dice roll to somehow guarantee that his pod will open last, thus giving him an advantage in the Chamber.
***
5.) "Alpha vs. Omega" PWA Title: "The GOAT Goat" Daniel Bryan (c) (w/ Brie Bella) vs. "The Terminator" Kenny Omega
At the previous PPV, PWA Champion "The GOAT Goat" Daniel Bryan established himself as PWA's Alpha by beating Bruiserweight Champion "The Bitter King of British Strong Style" Peter England in a champion vs. champion match to avenge his wife, Brie Bella.
At the conclusion of that show, Kenny Omega made his PWA debut when he emerged from a glowing ball of blue light in the parking lot like some sort of time-traveling cybord assassin from an alternate future. Setting his sights on PWA's Alpha, Omega immediately makes his mission clear: terminate the leader of the Revolution, Daniel Bryan, before the Revolution begins. Unfortunately, Daniel's future self didn't bother to send a Kyle Reese or reprogrammed T-800 back in time too to act as his bodyguard. But that's OK. The GOAT Goat has proven he can fend for himself.
It'll be a true clash between the Alpha and Omega (fuck you, real life Chris Jericho) in a guaranteed-to-be 10-plus-star match. This match won't be closing the show (since nothing is bigger than Hogan/Cena), but "that's not a bad thing, that's a good thing" - DDP. This way fans who aren't interested in Hogan/Cena get this match without having to sit through Hogan/Cena. Plus, you get to beat traffic by leaving the arena early!
***
6.) Retirement Match (w/ Nikki Bella in a neutral corner): "The Immortal" Hulk Hogan vs. "The Boulder" John Cena
Losing the PWA title to brother-in-law Daniel Bryan and then being subsequently sidetracked by a bizarre feud with Derrick Bateman has really warped Cena's mind. Cena has grown increasingly delusional about his status as the single greatest entity in all of sports and entertainment. Between his achievements in pro wrestling and his blossoming career in Hollywood, Cena considers himself an even bigger star than former in-ring foe/forever in-life rival "The Rock" Dwayne Johnson. To that end, Cena has rebranded himself as "The Boulder" to further emphasize how much bigger he is than The Rock (who should really be called "The Pebble", Cena says, for more accurate comparision purposes).
Coincidentally, "Boulder" is the former surname of another pro wrestling icon with long-time ties to Tinsel Town... "The Immortal" Hulk Hogan! Hogan made his surprise PWA debut at the previous PPV, revealing in a special in-ring interview that Nikki Bella had come to him for help getting Cena to see the light and go back to his old babyface ways. Feeling like he failed Elizabeth when she came to him with a similar plea once upon a time, Hogan saw this as an opportunity to redeem himself and he immediately agreed to help.
Over the past few weeks, Hogan has tried to warn Cena about the dangers of letting things go to his head and allowing his ego to inflate to such dangerous levels. Hogan was been opening up like never before, drawing on his own life experiences and sharing some very personal stories, but all of his efforts to reach Cena have been in vain. In fact, it all just riles Cena up instead. Cena accuses Hogan of making it all about himself, which is not surprising given Hogan's standard operating procedures. Cena says Hogan's efforts are so superficial that they're entirely transparent; SuperCena doesn't even need to use his x-ray vision to see through them: Hogan is just trying to make a play at stealing Cena's wife and Cena's spotlight.
After going on a rant about being bigger than Rock, Hogan, pro wrestling, Hollywood, etc. etc. Cena finally lays down a challenge to Hogan: face Cena, one-on-one, in a Retirement Match. The loser must retire not only from pro wrestling but also Hollywood. And since his wife apparently can't be trusted not to go behind his back, Cena stipulates that Nikki Bella will be in a neutral corner for the match. If Cena refuses to see the light and the only alternative option is to effectively banish him from pro wrestling and Hollywood, so be it... Hogan accepts!
If we're letting ourselves imagine this as prime Hogan ('87-'89?) vs. prime Cena ('07-??) then this match is arguably bigger than Rock/Cena I, Rock/Cena II, Rock/Hogan II, and possibly even Rock/Hogan I.
Baker
Steve Austin
Triple H
Ricky Steamboat
Roddy Piper
Randy Orton
DDP
JBL
Booker T
Goldust
Dusty Rhodes
Bob Backlund
Bruno Sammartino
Jacques Rougeau
Carl Ouelette
Dolph Ziggler
Homicide
Tommy Dreamer
The Sandman
Silas Young
Hernandez
Shawn Michaels (stolen from The Kid's roster)
Mick Foley (stolen from The Kid's roster)
The Rock (stolen from UT's roster)
Randy Savage (stolen from UT's roster)
Falconry, Fireworks & Fighting Results
1. LAX defeated Dreamer & Sandman in an Extreme Rules Match when Hernandez pinned Sandman following a Razor's Edge through a table while Homicide took care of Dreamer on the floor.
2. Dolph Ziggler upset Mr. Bob Backlund when Silas Young's interference backfired. An irate Mr. Backlund put Silas in the Crossface Chickenwing after the match.
3. Booker T & Goldust defeated The Quebecers to become NEEEEWWW tag team champions.
4. DDP did to Ricky Steamboat what Randy Orton had done to him on our previous show by hitting a cheap low blow to set up the Diamond Cutter for the win. This started out as a "Scientific Match" but DDP fought dirtier and dirtier after being outworked & outpopped by the more technically adept, more popular Steamboat. DDP left to a chorus of boos as this rivalry has just begun.
5. Dusty Rhodes pinned Roddy Piper with a big elbow drop to win a bloody Bunkhouse Match.
6. Randy Orton defeated Bruno Sammartino by DQ after Bruno kept hitting him with a steel chair Orton himself had introduced to the match earlier. Bruno gains a moral victory while "The Legend Killer" still gets to gloat about technically being the winner, even if he did leave the ring wearing a crimson mask.
7. That damn JBL defeated Cactus Jack in a Falls Count Anywhere match. Cactus had the match won with a piledriver through a table. But it wasn't enough. Cactus wanted to end JBL once and for all. So he went all the way up top for the big elbow to the floor rather than his usual apron launch pad. JBL moved. Cactus crashed & burned. And after about 30 seconds "The Wrestling God" was able to drape an arm over Cactus for the disappointing 1-2-3
8. Steve Austin retained his title by defeating Shawn Michaels & Triple H in a wild Triple Threat Match. Shawn & Hunter mostly worked together and either man could have scored the fall on several occasions if their partner had let them. But dissension soon set in with both men wanting to be the one to dethrone Austin. Stone Cold came storming back and eventually pinned HHH following a Stunner.
Plimpton Promotions Presents...
Live from the campus of Phillips Exeter Academy in beautiful New Hampshire...
Holds, Hot Plates & Havarti
-All fans providing proof of a Paris Review subscription will be given a free hot plate AND a free wheel of Havarti* Cheese!
*Formerly known as "Danish Stilton"
1. Sandman vs. Hernandez- Singapore Cane on a Pole Match
Sandman is out for revenge against the man who pinned him at our previous show. His trademark Singapore Cane will be suspended from a pole. First man to retrieve it gets to use it as a weapon.
2. Tommy Dreamer vs. Silas Young
"The Last Real Man" Silas Young has a problem with just about everybody. Dreamer's offense is "pandering to the fans." In the words of Silas Young, "REAL men don't kiss up to the fans. If those idiots boo ya, you punch 'em in the mouth!" Dreamer of course would never, ever punch his beloved fans. But he'll punch Silas, alright!
3. Dolph Ziggler vs. Homicide
Homicide does not like Dolph Ziggler. "The Showoff" seems to have that effect on the wrestlers of Plimpton Promotions. 'Cide also wants to prove he's more than just a brawler by going move for move with one of the best pure wrestlers in the promotion.
4. The Quebecers vs. Bruno Sammartino & Bob Backlund
In the midst of a slump, the pissed off Quebecers jumped Bruno after the Italian strongman made quick work of Jacques in a tv match. Pierre was about to finish Bruno, possibly forever, with Le Cannonball when a most unexpected source came to Bruno's aid- none of than his former rival, Bob Backlund! The two legends shook hands. Backlund (no longer going by Mister) renounced his evil ways and pleaded with Bruno to forgive him. Not only did Bruno forgive him, he offered to form a tag team! And now the match is made- the longest reigning tag team champions in our promotion's history against the two veteran legends.
5. Ricky Steamboat vs. DDP- No DQ Match
DDP has awoken The Dragon! This won't be Ricky Steamboat as the respectful, scientific wrestler you may be used to. Oh no! This will be "The Dragon" at his most fired up self....the babyface on the roster most likely to be DQed. Only there are no DQ's in this one! I don't think DDP knows what he's gotten himself into. He'll have to break out all the dirty tricks in the book to overcome a fired up Dragon.
6. Cactus Jack vs. Roddy Piper- Falls Count Anywhere Match
These two have engaged in an epic war of words following their mutual gut wrenching defeats at our last show. Cactus has the advantage on paper with this being his specialty match, but he did lose one at our very last event, and you can never count out the cunning "Hot Rod."
7. Dusty Rhodes/Goldust/Booker T vs. DX: Evolved (Shawn Michaels/Triple H/Randy Orton)- 6 Man Tag Grudge Match
This may not be the main event but it's the most hyped match on our show. So many stories here....
DX was bickering and about to break up following their failure to dethrone Austin at our previous show when HHH vs. Goldust and Michaels vs. Booker were booked for tv. DX was irate at having been booked against "B+ players." They managed to win both matches by cheating in hard fought battles, but the tag champs took offense to being called "B+ players," and thus a feud was born. The war of words continued to escalate with DX dropping controversial comments on the alleged B+ players which even caused them to be banned from Twitter (the horror!). Book & Goldust finally had enough and attacked DX during an interview segment....
Meanwhile "The Legend Killer" set his sights on "The American Dream" as his next legend to kill. They had a few confrontations (mostly Orton sneak attacks) that always ended with Dusty standing tall after getting the upper hand. This legend was proving tough to kill. Perhaps Orton needed some backup to help him in his quest...
DX vs. BookDust was booked on tv but it never got very far before Randy Orton interfered while BookDust was in control. Following a 3 on 2 beatdown, HHH announced he was reuniting with his old Evolution ally while Michaels formally welcomed Orton into DX....
DX: Evolved was out for a promo the following week. Booker & Goldust unexpectedly interrupted. The numbers game was once again too much....
Until "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes ran out for the save! He embraced his son after nearly a year of those two being kept apart (they had a heated feud back in the day when Dustin first became Goldust and accused Dusty of being a terrible father). HUGE pop for the father & son reunion!
And now this match between ultimate villains and pure fan favorites is set. There's a lot at stake here. You won't want to miss it!
8. The Rock vs. JBL- #1 Contender Match
JBL was on top of the world the night after upsetting Cactus Jack. Bradshaw was in the midst of one of his trademark rants......Greatest Texan....Wrestling God...yada yada yada...all building up to him challenging Stone Cold to a title match. Only JBL added one to mix this time around when he called himself "The Most Electrifying Man in sports entertainment." The crowd was BEGGING for it. And finally....
IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN came on over the PA system. Crowd lost it.
Rock gave JBL the verbal evisceration millions of wrestling fans had been begging for. Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw was brought up. Blackjack Bradshaw and "his stupid mustache" were not let off the hook. Bradshaw was called "Faarooq's luggage." And it just went on and on with JBL getting angrier and angrier as the insults hit harder and harder.
So the match has been set. The REAL most electrifying man in sports entertainment vs. the self-proclaimed Wrestling God with the winner going on to our next super show to challenge for the title against the winner of.....
9. Steve Austin vs. Randy Savage- No Holds Barred Championship Match
Austin was pissed. Big surprise, huh? This time he was annoyed by a lack of challengers. He doesn't care much about the title. He just wants to whoop some ass. And with all the other top contenders embroiled in feuds, Stone Cold issued an open challenge to any wrestler in the world with the guts to step in his ring and get their ass whooped. That challenge was answered by yet another debuting legend.....
OOOH YEAH! It's the Macho Man Randy Savage! Savage vows to bring the Madness to Stone Cold in yet another dream match between legends.
*Whoa! What a show! You won't want to miss this one! And make sure to bring proof of your Paris Review subscription! Because as good as the wrestling will undoubtedly be, a FREE(!) hot plate and wheel of Havarti (formerly known as "Danish Stilton") cheese might be even better!
<<<VS.>>>
🤯 / RT
Daniel Bryan
Kevin Owens
John Cena (traded Hiroshi Tanahashi to PB)
Pete Dunne
Lance Cade
Rob Van Dam
Bobby Roode (traded Tetsuya Naito to PB)
Low Ki (traded Luke Harper to The Kid)
Trevor Murdoch
Ricardo Rodriguez
Kung Fu Naki
R-Truth
Nikki Bella
Brie Bella
Jack Swagger
Kane
Jack Gallagher
Alberto Del Rio
Ethan Carter III
Montel Vontavious Porter
Christian (stolen from Arrogance_Personified's roster)
Lance Storm (stolen from Arrogance_Personified's roster)
Hulk Hogan (stolen from Jeff's roster)
Kenny Omega (stolen from KITN's roster)
PWA: Pro Wrestling America proudly presents...
Remember the Alamo: The Last Stand #Rosebud
1.) Saskatchewan Scrap: "The Prizefighting Prince of the Provinces" Kevin Owens-Steen vs. "Laconic" Lance Storm
This is a spin-off singles feud stemming from the Roode/Christian stuff (read below for more re: the Canada's Favorite Sons vs. The Un-Americans rivalry). Laconic Lance is the de facto face as the stoic man of few words contrasting the pugnacious, braggadocious, ugly-as-fuck, overachieving asshole that is Owens-Steen. Winner gets a shot at the Bruiserweight Title, because why not.
***
2.) Bruiserweight Title: "The Bitter King of British Strong Style" Peter England (f.k.a. Pete Dunne) (c) vs. Low Ki
The reigning Bruiserweight Champion is more bitter than ever in the wake of the previous PPV, where he was defeated in a champion vs. champion match by PWA Champion Daniel Bryan. England is looking to rebound from that loss with a big win to reassert himself as a dominant champ. Unfortuantely, his next challenger is the lethal Low Ki.
Ki is being rewarded with a title shot as a result of his successful performance at the previous PPV, tagging with mentor RVD to overcome Canada's Favorite Sons in tag action. Ki looks to continue building on that success with another winning performance here. After a recent Low Ki/Daniel Bryan match binge, I'm imagining this being a similarly awesome match... just replace DB's forearms with England's European uppercuts. Stiff City, bitch!
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3.) Six-Man Tag Team Elimination Match: The Alt-American Alliance ("The Alt-American" Jack Swagger & The Redneck Wrecking Crew (Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch) vs. PWA Tag Team Champions Rush Hour Express (Montel Vontavious Porter & Kung Fu Naki) & "La Cucaracha" Ricardo Rodriguez
The Alt-American Alliance forms when Jack Swagger steps in to prevent the Redneck Wrecking Crew from being deported to Mexico after their loss to the Mexiconnection at the previous PPV. The trio bands together, finding strength in numbers, to start righting all the wrongs in PWA. Some of the first wrongs to be righted include the RWC's PPV losses to the Mexiconnection and PWA Tag Team Champions Rush Hour Express. Other wrongs include Swagger's PPV losing streak. The incendiary triad looks to kill multiple birds with one stone in the form of a PPV win over Rush Hour Express and Ricardo Rodrigeuz here (since Del Rio is tied up otherwise).
To prevent any post-match excuse-making, and to go along with the Alamo/Last Stand theme of the PPV, this match will be a war of attrition contested under elimination rules. Also, for an Alamo-themed show, how fitting would it be for the Mexican to beat those Texarkana rednecks?
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^^^The Art of Manliness presents How to be a Gentleman, featuring "Gentleman" Jack Gallagher, who will be teaching Little Jimmy how to be a real gentleman^^^
After being kicked to the curb by the increasingly unstable R-Truth, Little Jimmy found himself with no friends and nowhere to call home.
Meanwhile, after winning the "Jack Off" contest at the last PPV, Gentleman Jack feels like he has nothing to prove for the moment and so has turned his attention toward helping others... especially those poor souls in need, like Litle Jimmy.
Inspired by the manliness and worthiness of Gentleman Jack's cause, the Art of Manliness has decided to sponser a non-wrestling segment at this PPV in which Gallagher will teach Little Jimmy the fundamentals of what it means to be a true gentleman. The segment is slated to include a recital of the Gentleman's Code of Conduct; a series of lectures on the Virtues of the Landed Gentry; and lessons on (including but not limited to, in no particular order): sword and knife fighting, fisticuffs, Mary Poppins-style umbrella flight, general table manners, corncob pipe bowl packing, mustache curl waxing, suspender fastening, bowtie tying, formalwear appreciation with a specific focus on couture cumberbunds, lady courting, and how to throw a proper headbutt.
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4.) "Former TNA Champion Invitational" Elimination Chamber Match: Rob Van Dam vs. "Rudimentary" Robert Roode vs. "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage vs. "Patrick's Brother" Derrick Bateman vs. "El Patrón de Los Pobres" Alberto Del Rio vs. "Ron Killings" R-Truth; winner is declared No. 1 Contender to the PWA Title
I considered having this clusterfuck take place inside Six Sides of Steel or whatever it's called to go along with the TNA theme, but I hate six-sided rings so much that I'd rather be forced to watch every Terry Gordy match in a row instead (I should probably actually watch some more Terry Gordy matches to validate this somewhat arbitrary hatred). Anyway...
The premise behind this match is as follows: Citizen Kane, in his role as the GM of PWA, needed to determine the next challenger for the PWA Title, but he also wanted to shake things up a bit. Realizing he had six former TNA champions on his roster, and liking the idea of placing them in a uniquely WWE environment, Kane (not PI... -_-) decided to go this route. So if the idea strikes you as being dumb as fuck, blame Kane (not PI... -_-). At least he was thinking outside the box, and his heart was in the right place.
To make this a little less random, there are some intermingling feuds here:
After coming together to defeat Canada's Favorite Sons at the previous PPV, Rob Van Dam and Low Ki are each rewarded for their success. Ki is granted a Bruiseweight Title shot at this PPV against Peter England, and RVD is put in a position here (based on his TNA Championship qualification) to potentially win a PWA Title shot.
Meanwhile, Canada's Favorite Sons try to deflect the humiliation of their defeat onto the Un-Americans, who failed to win the PWA Tag Title from Rush Hour Express at the previous PPV. It turns into a bit of a heel-vs.-heel rivalry between Canada's Favorite Sons and the Un-Americans, mostly based on which team is a bigger disappointment to Canadia. Since I hate Owens-Steen more than Storm, and like Christian A LOT more than Roode, the Un-Americans strangely become the de facto faces in this rivalry.
After going toe-to-toe with SuperCena as "The Bateman" but coming up short (just like in Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns!), Derrick Bateman is looking to rebound with a win here. Derrick has recent history with Alberto Del Rio, whose riches he won in their Rags to Riches Match two PPVs ago, but Del Rio has assured Derrick that it's all good between them now that Del Rio has embraced his new role as El Patrón de Los Pobres. If their paths cross inside the Chamber, whatever Del Rio does to Derrick, it'll be nothing personal. That said, Del Rio is hungry for a big win and the prize money that will come along with it as well as the potential purse tied to a future PWA Title match.
And then there's R-Truth, who continues to be an enigma and a half. Going full heel, Truth has dropped poor Little Jimmy like a bad habit and adopted his shoot name (Ron Killings) as quite possibly the oddest nickname in pro wrestling history. In addition to these new quirks, Truth has started smoking cigarettes and wearing his Confederate military duds again. Oh yeah, and I almost forgot to mention... Truth somehow WON the political debate against Citizen Kane at the previous PPV. Kane is still scratching his head over that. Anyway... Also worth mentioning: Truth won an unsanctioned six-sided dice roll to somehow guarantee that his pod will open last, thus giving him an advantage in the Chamber.
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5.) "Alpha vs. Omega" PWA Title: "The GOAT Goat" Daniel Bryan (c) (w/ Brie Bella) vs. "The Terminator" Kenny Omega
At the previous PPV, PWA Champion "The GOAT Goat" Daniel Bryan established himself as PWA's Alpha by beating Bruiserweight Champion "The Bitter King of British Strong Style" Peter England in a champion vs. champion match to avenge his wife, Brie Bella.
At the conclusion of that show, Kenny Omega made his PWA debut when he emerged from a glowing ball of blue light in the parking lot like some sort of time-traveling cybord assassin from an alternate future. Setting his sights on PWA's Alpha, Omega immediately makes his mission clear: terminate the leader of the Revolution, Daniel Bryan, before the Revolution begins. Unfortunately, Daniel's future self didn't bother to send a Kyle Reese or reprogrammed T-800 back in time too to act as his bodyguard. But that's OK. The GOAT Goat has proven he can fend for himself.
It'll be a true clash between the Alpha and Omega (fuck you, real life Chris Jericho) in a guaranteed-to-be 10-plus-star match. This match won't be closing the show (since nothing is bigger than Hogan/Cena), but "that's not a bad thing, that's a good thing" - DDP. This way fans who aren't interested in Hogan/Cena get this match without having to sit through Hogan/Cena. Plus, you get to beat traffic by leaving the arena early!
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6.) Retirement Match (w/ Nikki Bella in a neutral corner): "The Immortal" Hulk Hogan vs. "The Boulder" John Cena
Losing the PWA title to brother-in-law Daniel Bryan and then being subsequently sidetracked by a bizarre feud with Derrick Bateman has really warped Cena's mind. Cena has grown increasingly delusional about his status as the single greatest entity in all of sports and entertainment. Between his achievements in pro wrestling and his blossoming career in Hollywood, Cena considers himself an even bigger star than former in-ring foe/forever in-life rival "The Rock" Dwayne Johnson. To that end, Cena has rebranded himself as "The Boulder" to further emphasize how much bigger he is than The Rock (who should really be called "The Pebble", Cena says, for more accurate comparision purposes).
Coincidentally, "Boulder" is the former surname of another pro wrestling icon with long-time ties to Tinsel Town... "The Immortal" Hulk Hogan! Hogan made his surprise PWA debut at the previous PPV, revealing in a special in-ring interview that Nikki Bella had come to him for help getting Cena to see the light and go back to his old babyface ways. Feeling like he failed Elizabeth when she came to him with a similar plea once upon a time, Hogan saw this as an opportunity to redeem himself and he immediately agreed to help.
Over the past few weeks, Hogan has tried to warn Cena about the dangers of letting things go to his head and allowing his ego to inflate to such dangerous levels. Hogan was been opening up like never before, drawing on his own life experiences and sharing some very personal stories, but all of his efforts to reach Cena have been in vain. In fact, it all just riles Cena up instead. Cena accuses Hogan of making it all about himself, which is not surprising given Hogan's standard operating procedures. Cena says Hogan's efforts are so superficial that they're entirely transparent; SuperCena doesn't even need to use his x-ray vision to see through them: Hogan is just trying to make a play at stealing Cena's wife and Cena's spotlight.
After going on a rant about being bigger than Rock, Hogan, pro wrestling, Hollywood, etc. etc. Cena finally lays down a challenge to Hogan: face Cena, one-on-one, in a Retirement Match. The loser must retire not only from pro wrestling but also Hollywood. And since his wife apparently can't be trusted not to go behind his back, Cena stipulates that Nikki Bella will be in a neutral corner for the match. If Cena refuses to see the light and the only alternative option is to effectively banish him from pro wrestling and Hollywood, so be it... Hogan accepts!
If we're letting ourselves imagine this as prime Hogan ('87-'89?) vs. prime Cena ('07-??) then this match is arguably bigger than Rock/Cena I, Rock/Cena II, Rock/Hogan II, and possibly even Rock/Hogan I.
Hard for me to vote against either one of these guys, both of these cards crack me up, I'm kinda leaning towards Baker's card when comparing the two match by match but Pi's writeup was pretty spectacular, as was Baker's. Nearly impossible for me to pick here, I'm kinda wanting to be one of those trolls that just votes to tie it up in hopes that we get both to advance to the finals. I won't do that though. At the end if you gave me the chance to go see both of these shows live I'd have to go with Baker's card, Savage vs Austin and Steamboat vs DDP are two phenomenal matchups I'd love to see over every match on PI's card, Foley vs Piper would be great also. I feel sleezy voting against that entry from PI because I loved it so much, I got to go with Baker though. 
