Returning soon.

FUCK. YES!!!

Feb 18, 2019 3:49:24 GMT 🤯 said:

FUCK. YES!!!

Everything I do 
I do it for you

I am so pumped for this! The New Generation Era was a fun time and a fun era to rebook. I know Baker will have some exciting ideas for this.

1995 Pay Per View Results

*As most of you know this was a long term project I started 5 or 6 years ago on the old PW. Well, I'm not writing out a year and a half worth of shows all over again. Instead I'll just share, in abbreviated form, the stuff I wrote out years ago- PPV results, championship histories, other major accomplishments, and if I have the time/patience/memory for it, specially selected major matches and happenings from Raw and Superstars. Once I finally get caught up to speed I'll do a quick recap of the storylines leading up to the pay per view where I left off all those years ago- In Your House: Beware of Dog in April 1996. From there on out it'll be nothing but new stuff (well, unless you happen to dig deep into the various fantasy booking threads in the History of Wrestling archives. Most of it has honestly been posted somewhere here at some point). 

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}

Royal Rumble January 22, 1995

1. WWF Tag Team Champions The Smoking Gunns defeated The Million Dollar Corporation duo of Tatanka & Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Ted Dibiase when Tatanka was pinned

2. Jeff Jarrett w/ The Roadie pinned Razor Ramon to win the Intercontinental Championship.

3. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer pinned IRS w/ Ted Dibiase following a Tombstone Piledriver.

4. Diesel made quick work of Mr. Bob Backlund to become the new WWF Champion.

5. Shawn Michaels won the 30 man Royal Rumble last eliminating Davey Boy Smith. Michaels entered at #1 and Bulldog at #2. Bret & Owen Hart round out the Final Four.

In Your House February 26, 1995

1. WWF Tag Team Champions The Smoking Gunns retained their titles with a victory over the Million Dollar Corporation duo of IRS & Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Ted Dibiase when IRS was pinned.

2. Hakushi w/ Shinja remained undefeated by pinning Bob Holly.

3. King Kong Bundy w/ Ted Dibiase defeated Mabel w/ Mo & Oscar in a Colossal Jostle to continue his own undefeated streak.

4. Razor Ramon pinned The Roadie following a Razor's Edge to win this Grudge Match.

5. Jeff Jarrett retained the Intercontinental Championship by making 1-2-3 Kid submit to the Figure Four Leglock.

6. Lex Luger defeated Tatanka w/ Ted Dibiase in a Steel Cage Match.

7. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer handed Henry O. Godwinn w/ Ted Dibiase his first defeat courtesy of a Tombstone Piledriver.

8. WWF Champion Diesel/Bret Hart/Davey Boy Smith defeated Mr. Bob Backlund/Shawn Michaels/Owen Hart when Bulldog pinned Owen.

Wrestlemania April 2, 1995

1. Allied Powers (Lex Luger & Davey Boy Smith) defeated the Million Dollar Corporation team of Tatanka & IRS w/ Ted Dibiase.

2. Hakushi w/ Shinja remained undefeated by pinning the 1-2-3 Kid.

3. Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Ted Dibiase pinned Mabel w/ Mo & Oscar in a Colossal Jostle.

4. Razor Ramon wrestled WWF Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett w/ The Roadie to some sort of no contest/DQ/Countout. I forget the exact result other than it became a big shmozz with Roadie and 1-2-3 Kid also getting involved.

5. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer ended the undefeated streak of King Kong Bundy w/ Ted Dibiase with a pinfall victory.

6. Owen Hart and Mystery Partner, a returning Yokozuna w/ Jim Cornette, won the WWF Tag Team Championship with a pinfall victory over The Smoking Gunns.

7. Bret Hart w/ Roddy Piper defeated Mr. Bob Backlund w/ Iron Sheik via Crossface Chickenwing in this Submission Match.

8. Lawrence Taylor w/ various NFL players including Steve "Mongo" McMichael pinned Jerry "The King" Lawler w/ Masked Knights in a Grudge Match. Lawler's Masked Knights were otherwise unbooked WWF Superstars wearing hoods to get a Wrestlemania payday.

9. Diesel retained the WWF Championship by pinning former partner Shawn Michaels after a Jacknife Powerbomb.

In Your House May 14, 1995

1. The Smoking Gunns defeated Men On A Mission w/ Oscar. MOM turned heel by attacking the Gunns after the match.

2. The undefeated Jean Pierre Lafitte pinned Aldo Montoya following Le Cannonball to claim supremacy of the high seas.

3. Razor Ramon and Mystery Partner Savio Vega (filling in for an injured 1-2-3 Kid) defeated Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett & The Roadie.

4. Bret Hart ended the undefeated streak of Hakushi w/ Shinja.

5. The Million Dollar Corporation team of Bam Bam Bigelow/Henry O. Godwinn/Ted Dibiase defeated ex-Corporation members IRS/Tatanka/King Kong Bundy in a Grudge Match.

6. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer pinned Mr. Bob Backlund following a Tombstone Piledriver.

7. The Allied Powers defeated the Camp Cornette duo of Yokozuna & Owen Hart w/ Jim Cornette to capture the WWF Tag Team Championship.

8. WWF Champion Diesel wrestled Sid w/ Ted Dibiase to a double disqualification after a ref bump and interference from the rest of the Corporation along with a returning Shawn Michaels. HBK had been out of action since the night after Wrestlemania due to an injury caused by Sid. 

King of the Ring June 25, 1995

1. Shawn Michaels pinned Hakushi after a Superkick in a King of the Ring tournament match.

2. Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett w/The Roadie defeated Savio Vega in a KOTR tournament match where Jarrett's IC Title also on the line.

3. Owen Hart w/ Jim Cornette pinned Tag Team Champion Davey Boy Smith in a King of the Ring tournament match.

4. Yokozuna w/ Jim Cornette wrestled Tag Team Champion Lex Luger to a double countout in a KOTR match, eliminating both men from the tourney.

5. Men on a Mission defeated The Smoking Gunns in a Grudge Match.

6. Bret Hart made Jerry Lawler submit to the Sharpshooter in a Kiss My Foot Grudge Match. 

7. Shawn Michaels pinned Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett w/ The Roadie in a classic King of the Ring encounter.

*Owen Hart received a bye to the King of the Ring finals due to Lex Luger & Yokozuna both being eliminated.

8. The Million Dollar Corporation duo of Sid & Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Ted Dibiase defeated WWF Champion Diesel & Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer in a wild match which saw Diesel pinned after Undertaker succumbed to a Papa Shango voodoo curse, leaving "Big Daddy Cool" to fight the Corporation's elite squad by himself. The Corporation continued to assault the champ after the match until Shawn Michaels made the save. This brought out Owen Hart to get a jump his KOTR final opponent and segued right into....

9. Shawn Michaels pinned Owen Hart w/ Jim Cornette to win the 1995 King of the Ring tournament.

In Your House July 23, 1995

1. The Smoking Gunns defeated Men On A Mission in a #1 Contenders Match to win this feud.

2. Papa Shango pinned Aldo Montoya.

3. Jean Pierre Lafitte pinned Adam Bomb following Le Cannonball.

4. Bret Hart made "The King's Champion" The Black Knight w/ Jerry Lawler submit to The Sharpshooter.

5. Owen Hart & Yokozuna w/ Jim Cornette regained the WWF Tag Team Championship when they defeated The Allied Powers after Davey Boy Smith turned on Lex Luger to become the newest member of Camp Cornette. Thanks to the efforts of Cornette's lawyer Clarence Mason all three members of Camp Cornette would be allowed to defend the tag titles going forward under the so-called "Demolition Rule."

6. Razor Ramon w/ 1-2-3 Kid & Savio Vega pinned Jeff Jarrett w/ The Roadie to regain the Intercontinental Championship following a Razor's Edge after Roadie's interference backfired. JJ & Roadie left the company after this disheartening defeat.

7. Shawn Michaels wrestled Sid w/ Ted Dibiase to a double disqualification in a wild match.

8. WWF Champion Diesel retained his title by pinning Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Ted Dibiase after an impressive Jacknife Powerbomb.

*The Black Knight is Isaac Yankem in a slightly less bad gimmick

Summerslam August 27, 1995

1. Tag Team Champions Owen Hart & Yokozuna w/ Jim Cornette retained the titles with a victory over The Smoking Gunns.

2. 1-2-3 Kid pinned Hakushi to avenge his Wrestlemania defeat in a high flying encounter.

3. Hunter Hearst Helmsley continued his undefeated streak by pinning Bob Holly after a Pedigree.

4. Barry Horowitz upset Skip w/ Sunny once again with a little unexpected help from Hakushi, who had his own issues with The Bodydonnas.

5. Bret Hart pinned Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Ted Dibiase.

6. British Bulldog w/ Jim Cornette pinned Lex Luger with the Bulldog Powerslam in a Loser Leaves WWF Grudge Match.

7. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer defeated Papa Shango in a Casket Match.

8. Shawn Michaels defeated Razor Ramon in another instantly iconic Ladder Match to capture the Intercontinental Championship. 

9. Diesel retained the WWF Championship when he pinned Sid w/ Ted Dibiase following a Jacknife Powerbomb. This was a Steel Cage Match to prevent a repeat of their interference laden In Your House May encounter.

In Your House September 24, 1995

1. The Underdogs (Barry Horowitz & Hakushi) defeated The Bodydonnas (Skip & Rad Radford) w/ Sunny when Horowitz pinned Radford.

2. Hunter Hearst Helmsley remained undefeated with a pinfall victory over Duke "The Dumpster" Droese.

3. Owen Hart & Yokozuna w/ Jim Cornette retained the WWF Tag Team Championship by defeating 1-2-3 Kid & Savio Vega. Kid turned on Vega after the match which brought out their mutual friend, Razor Ramon. Razor & Kid exchanged heated words but Kid swore his issues were with Savio alone and not "The Bad Guy." 

4. Bret Hart handed notorious jacket thief Jean Pierre Laffite his first defeat when he won this Grudge Match via Sharpshooter.

*Mr. Bob Backlund appeared before the next match to bestow Dean Douglas with his sacred "Board of Education." The Dean humbly accepted and reciprocated the favor by making Mr. Backlund the first inductee into his Honor Society. It was a very touching scene all around.

5. Dean Douglas w/ Mr. Bob Backlund remained undefeated when he pinned Razor Ramon after 1-2-3 Kid turned on his longtime friend. The Dean then inducted Kid into his Honor Society, bestowed upon him the title "Secretary of Offence," and renamed him "The Graduate Student" Sean Waltman.

6. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer pinned Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Ted Dibiase after a Tombstone to win this Grudge Match.

7. WWF Champion Diesel wrestled British Bulldog w/ Jim Cornette to a no contest/DQ/Countout. I forget the exact result other than Cornette got involved. Possibly Camp Cornette along with Bret & Undertaker making the save as well.

8. Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels retained his title by pinning Sid w/ Ted Dibiase after Sweet Chin Music to win a chaotic No Holds Barred Match.


In Your House October 22, 1995

1. The debuting "Japanese Champion" Avatar w/ Sunny & Skip upset Hakushi in a Grudge Match dating back to their days in Japan.

2. Henry O. Godwinn pinned the departing Jean Pierre Lafitte after a Slop Drop to win this Grudge Match.

3. Newcomer Ahmed Johnson continued to impress when he body slammed the 500+ pound Mabel for the 1-2-3.

4. Barry Horowitz pulled off another upset when he pinned Jerry "The King" Lawler w/ The Black Knight via small package. 

5. "The Graduate Student" Sean Waltman defeated Savio Vega in a Grudge Match

6. Goldust had a successful premiere by pinning the recently returned Marty Jannetty.

7. Sid pinned Bam Bam Bigelow in a match with both men's Million Dollar Corporation status and the accompanying "million dollar contract" on the line. Sid & Ted Dibiase continued to assault the now-ex Corporation member after the match until Corporation nemesis Henry Godwinn made the save.

*Shawn Michaels had originally been scheduled to defend his Intercontinental Championship against Dean Douglas here. However, HBK was forced to forfeit the title on the previous edition of Monday Night Raw due to concussion related symptoms stemming from a recent attack. The Dean came out to gloat. Not so fast!  Commissioner Gorilla Monsoon accepted Shawn giving up the title. But the belt would not go directly to The Dean. Instead The Dean would be forced to wrestle for it right here at In Your House October against former 3 time Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon!

8. Razor Ramon pinned Dean Douglas w/ Mr. Bob Backlund following a Razor's Edge to win the vacant Intercontinental Championship.

9. Camp Cornette (British Bulldog/Owen Hart/Yokozuna) successfully defended their Tag Team Championship (it's a long story) with a win over WWF Champion Diesel/Bret Hart/Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer.

Survivor Series November 19, 1995

1. The Underdogs (Barry Horowitz (c)/Hakushi/Marty Jannetty/Aldo Montoya) defeated The Bodydonnas (Skip (c)/Avatar/Rad Radford/Mabel) w/ Sunny with Hakushi being the sole survivor.

2. Blue Bloods (Hunter Hearst Helmsley (c)/Jerry "The King" Lawler/The Black Knight/Jeeves) defeated Blue Collar (Henry Godwinn (c)/Duke "The Dumpster" Droese/Bob Holly/Fatu) with Hunter Hearst Helmsley being the sole survivor.

3. Goldust remained undefeated with a pinfall victory over the departing Bam Bam Bigelow.

4. The Million Dollar Merger (Dean Douglas/"The Graduate Student" Sean Waltman/Mr. Bob Backlund/Sid) defeated The Bad Guys (Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon (c)/Savio Vega/The Smoking Gunns) with Sid & Waltman surviving.

5. The Dream Team (Shawn Michaels/Ahmed Johnson/Undertaker) w/ Paul Bearer defeated Tag Team Champions Camp Cornette (British Bulldog/Owen Hart/Yokozuna) w/ Jim Cornette with Michaels & Ahmed surviving. Undertaker was counted out when he went after newcomer Waylon Mercy who had his made his presence known by attacking a defenseless Paul Bearer.

6. Bret Hart pinned Diesel in a classic confrontation to win the WWF Championship. Diesel snapped after the match by giving "The Hitman" two Jacknife Powerbombs.

*Jeeves is Dr. Tom Prichard as Helmsley's butler

In Your House December 17, 1995

1. The Million Dollar Team of Sid and the once again renamed Million Dollar Kid w/ Ted Dibiase defeated Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon & Savio Vega.

2. Hakushi pinned Avatar w/ Skip & Sunny to hand the masked man his first defeat and win a feud which had spanned two continents.

3. Goldust remained undefeated with a pinfall victory over Fatu

4. Yokozuna w/ Jim Cornette pinned Mabel after a Banzai Drop to win Colossalest Jostle. 

5. Barry Horowitz pinned the debuting "SMW Champion" Buddy Landell w/ Skip & Sunny with a small package mere seconds into the match.

*JEFF JARRETT made his triumphant return after a five month absence.

6. Ahmed Johnson remained undefeated by pinning the departing Dean Douglas w/ Mr. Bob Backlund in under a minute following the Pearl River Plunge as a nation weeped. But wait! Jeff Jarrett attacked Ahmed, leaving the Pearl River Powerhouse laid out for the first time. One legend leaves. Another returns. Such is the way of things.

7. Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/ Jeeves also remained undefeated with a victory over Henry Godwinn in an Arkansas Hog Pen Match. WWF Legend Hillbilly Jim served as the special guest referee. Helmsley would join HOG and Jeeves in getting a taste of the slop in the post-match fracas. 

*Marty Jannetty was handing out presents alongside "Santa Claus" to children seated at ringside when Santa attacked Marty! Turns out he was not Santa at all but rather Santa's evil brother Xanta Klaus from the South Pole! And Ted Dibiase is the evil mastermind behind this whole thing! Oh, the humanity!

8. Owen Hart w/ Jim Cornette shocked the world by defeating surly former WWF Champion Diesel.....by DQ.

9. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer pinned Waylon Mercy w/ Brother Love following a Tombstone Piledriver. After the match Undertaker gestured that he wanted the WWF Championship.

10. WWF Champion Bret Hart retained by defeating British Bulldog w/ Jim Cornette in an extremely rare WWF bloodbath.

1996 Pay Per View Results

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}Royal Rumble January 21, 1996

1. The Bodydonnas (Skip & Dr. Tom) w/ Sunny captured the WWF Tag Team Championship when they defeated The Underdogs (Barry Horowitz & Hakushi) who had won the belts from Camp Cornette weeks earlier in the inaugural Raw Bowl. After all those setbacks, Skip & Sunny have finally won this lengthy feud. 

2. Ahmed Johnson remained unbeaten when he pinned Jeff Jarrett with a Pearl River Plunge.
WON Note: This was originally scheduled to end in a DQ finish where Jarrett would lay Ahmed out with a guitar shot to put more heat on this feud which was scheduled to run until Wrestlemania with Johnson going over clean on the big show. Jarrett balked at having to put Ahmed over. So the promotion, which is very high on Johnson, ended the feud early, making Jarrett look even weaker in the process. A disgusted Jarrett has once again quit the promotion. 

3. Goldust pinned Razor Ramon to win the Intercontinental Championship following interference from Sean Waltman who was dressed as Goldust's mini-me. The next night on Raw it was implied that Waltman was Goldust's bottom. Waltman underwent yet another name change and is now known as The Golden Child.

4. Shawn Michaels returned from another injury to win the 30 Man Royal Rumble for the second straight year by last eliminating Diesel. Owen Hart & British Bulldog rounded out the Final Four. It was also the second straight year for both members of Camp Cornette in the Final Four. Vader made his WWF debut here as a new member of Camp Cornette.

5. Undertaker defeated WWF Champion Bret Hart by disqualification when Diesel interfered, likely costing 'Taker the title.

In Your House February 25, 1996

Free For All: Hunter Hearst Helmsley remained undefeated when he pinned the departing Hakushi following a Pedigree.

Free For All: Million Dollar Champion The Ringmaster w/ Ted Dibiase successfully retained his title by putting Barry Horowitz to sleep with the Million Dollar Dream.

1. The Godwinns w/ Hillbilly Jim defeated The Bodydonnas w/ Sunny to capture the WWF Tag Team Championship.

2. British Bulldog w/ Jim Cornette pinned Jake "The Snake" Roberts with his patented running powerslam.

3. Intercontinental Champion Goldust retained his title by pinning Savio Vega.

4. Ahmed Johnson continued his undefeated streak when he pinned Yokozuna w/ Jim Cornette following a ring rattling body slam. 

5. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper defeated Mr. Bob Backlund via sleeper to become acting interim WWF Commissioner in accordance to a pre-match stipulation. Gorilla Monsoon is currently out of action recuperating from injuries sustained at the hands of Camp Cornette's Vader. 

6. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer pinned Brother Isaac w/ Brother Love following a Tombstone Piledriver.

7. Razor Ramon defeated The Golden Child via Razor's Edge in a Crybaby Match. In accordance to the pre-match stipulation, the former Kid had to wear a diaper and suck on a baby bottle. Kid had been going through an identity crisis for months. This humiliation was the final straw. He went off the deep end after this.

8. Shawn Michaels won a #1 Contender Match over Owen Hart w/ Jim Cornette following a Superkick to solidify his spot in the main event of Wrestlemania.

9. WWF Champion Bret Hart retained in a Steel Cage Match over Diesel when The Undertaker paid "Big Daddy Cool" back for his misdeeds at last month's pay per view extravaganza.

Wrestlemania March 31, 1996

Free For All: The Huckster wrestled The Nacho Man to a draw in a farcical match that also saw Billionaire Ted as the special guest referee, Scheme Gene conducting interviews, and Sleazy E providing commentary. 

1. "Wildman" Marc Mero debuted fresh from a successful run in WCW by winning the inaugural 10 Man Andre The Giant Battle Royal last eliminating two legendary veteran villains in Jerry "The King" Lawler & Mr. Bob Backlund.

2. The New Rockers shocked the world by winning the WWF Tag Team Championship in their debut match. WWF capitalized on the success of January's Raw Bowl by making this the first ever Fatal Four Way Elimination Match on pay per view. The other teams involved were The Smoking Gunns, Godwinns, and Bodydonnas.

3. Million Dollar Champion The Ringmaster w/ Ted Dibiase retained his title with a win over Savio Vega.

4. Owen Hart & British Bulldog w/ Jim Cornette defeated veteran company legends Jake "The Snake" Roberts & "Rowdy" Roddy Piper when Bulldog pinned Jake.

5. Ahmed Johnson continued his lengthy undefeated streak by making quick work of a struggling, depressed, and now gimmickless Sean Waltman.

6. Vader w/ Jim Cornette remained undefeated by pinning Yokozuna in a Colossal Jostle Grudge Match.

7. The Ultimate Warrior returned after an absence of three and a half years to end Hunter Hearst Helmsley nearly year long undefeated streak in a short match.

8. Intercontinental Champion Goldust retained his title and won his feud over Razor Ramon by prevailing in this bizarre Hollywood Backlot Brawl with help from a mystery woman who would later be revealed as his "director" Marlena.

*An irate Hunter Hearst Helmsley berated and eventually fired his valet for a day, blaming her for his earlier loss to The Warrior. Marc Mero chivalrously intervened on the young woman's behalf. Mero and Helmsley's former valet for a day seemed to take an immediate shine to one another. As the segment ended we learned her name is Sable.....

9. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer pinned Diesel following a Tombstone Piledriver in an entertaining big man match.

10. Shawn Michaels defeated Bret Hart 2 falls to 1 to capture the WWF Championship in an Iron Man Match. Bret Hart scored the first fall around the 30 minute mark when Shawn Michaels made the strategic decision to submit to the Sharpshooter after one desperate escape attempt in order to save himself for later. The gamble paid off when Shawn hit Sweet Chin Music for the 1-2-3 about ten minutes after he submitted. Around the 55 minute mark Shawn kicked off another Bret Sharpshooter attempt, kipped up, and nailed Bret with a second pinfall scoring Superkick. The last 20 seconds saw Shawn trapped in the Sharpshooter. The bell rang. Bret thought he won. NO! The 60 minutes had elapsed. Shawn had hung on to become the new WWF Champion. Bret walked away in an unhappy mood as Michaels celebrated achieving the boyhood dream....

In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies- April 28, 1996

Free For All- Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas w/ Sunny

Free For All- Barry Horowitz vs. Mankind w/ Brother Love

1. New Rockers (c) vs. Godwinns w/ Hillbilly Jim- WWF Tag Team Championship Match

2. Marc Mero w/ Sable vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

3. Ahmed Johnson & Fatu vs. Samoan Gangsta Party- Street Fight

4. The Ringmaster (c) w/ Ted Dibiase vs. The Caribbean Kid- Million Dollar Championship Match

5. Yokozuna & Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. Owen Hart & British Bulldog w/ Jim Cornette

6. Ultimate Warrior vs. Sean Waltman

7. Razor Ramon vs. Vader w/ Jim Cornette

8. Goldust (c) w/ Marlena vs. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer- Intercontinental Championship Match

9. Shawn Michaels (c) vs. Diesel- No Holds Barred Match for the WWF Championship 

 

Coming soon!

Championship History & Other Notable Accomplishments

*This project began the second Survivor Series 1994 ended. 
EDIT: Expanded the Slammy Awards part to include voting results and runners up.

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}
WWF Championship

Mr. Bob Backlund- 11/23/94 to 1/22/95
Diesel- 1/22/95 to 11/19/95
Bret Hart- 11/19/95 to 3/31/96
Shawn Michaels- 3/31/96 to Present

WWF Intercontinental Championship

Razor Ramon- 8/29/94 to 1/22/95
Jeff Jarrett- 1/22/95 to 7/23/95
Razor Ramon- 7/23/95 to 8/27/95
Shawn Michaels- 8/27/95 to 10/16/95*
Razor Ramon- 10/22/95** to 1/21/96
Goldust- 1/21/96 to Present

*Shawn Michaels forfeited the title on Raw due to concussion related symptoms stemming from a recent attack. He had been scheduled to defend the belt six days later against Dean Douglas at In Your House October 1995.

**Razor Ramon defeated Dean Douglas for the vacant championship at In Your House October 1995.

WWF Tag Team Championship

Shawn Michaels & Diesel- 8/28/94 to 12/5/94*
The New Foundation (Owen Hart & Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart)- 12/5/94** to 1/2/95
The Smoking Gunns (Billy & Bart Gunn)- 1/2/95 to 4/2/95
Camp Cornette (Owen Hart & Yokozuna)- 4/2/95 to 5/14/95
Allied Powers (Davey Boy Smith & Lex Luger)- 5/14/95 to 7/23/95
Camp Cornette (Owen Hart/Yokozuna/British Bulldog)- 7/23/95***-1/1/96****
The Underdogs (Barry Horowitz & Hakushi)- 1/1/96****-1/21/96
The Bodydonnas (Skip & Dr. Tom)- 1/21/96 to 2/25/96
The Godwinns (Henry & Phineas Godwinn)- 2/25/96 to 3/31/96*****
The New and Improved Rockers (Marty Jannetty & Leif Cassidy)- 3/31/96***** to Present

*Michaels & Diesel had a falling out at Survivor Series 1994. Yet Michaels still controlled Diesel's contract so long as they remained champions. So Shawn forced Diesel to continue teaming with him because he "would never forfeit a hard earned championship."

**Owen & Anvil won the when Michaels threw the match by intentionally Superkicking Diesel. This was later revealed to be part of a corrupt bargain between Michaels & Owen where HBK agreed to throw this match to give Owen the tag titles in return for Owen convincing WWF Champion Mr. Bob Backlund, whom Owen had been manipulating, into giving Michaels a shot at the WWF Championship.

***British Bulldog turned on Lex Luger during a tag team title match against Owen Hart & Yokozuna. Jim Cornette and his lawyer Clarence Mason pulled some legalese which enabled Bulldog to officially become a third member of the tag team champions. Camp Cornette would then go on to defend the titles under the so-called "Demolition Rule."

****This was a 4 Way "Raw Bowl" elimination match with the Underdogs defeating the Camp Cornette duo of Bulldog & Yokozuna. The Smoking Gunns and the Million Dollar Duo of Sid & The Million Dollar Kid were also participants in the match.

*****This was a Fatal 4 Way Match involving The Smoking Gunns and Bodydonnas in addition to the New and Improved Rockers and Godwinns.

Million Dollar Championship*

The Ringmaster- 1/8/96 to Present

*This is an unofficial championship Ted Dibiase pulled out of the mothballs to bestow upon the new "Crown Jewel" of his Million Dollar Corporation, The Ringmaster.

Other Notable Achievements

1995 Royal Rumble Winner: Shawn Michaels
1996 Royal Rumble Winner: Shawn Michaels

1995 King of the Ring: Shawn Michaels

1996 Raw Bowl Winners: The Underdogs (Barry Horowitz & Hakushi)

Wrestlemania XII Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal Winner: Marc Mero

1995 Slammy Award Winners
*Ceremony took place on the special January 1, 1996 New Year's edition of Monday Night Raw. This was determined by a fan vote through WWF Magazine, the WWF Hotline, and ballots passed out at Live Events. I will include all runners up who received at least 5% of the vote.

Wrestler of the Year

Bret Hart- 29%
Diesel- 27%
Shawn Michaels- 22%
Razor Ramon- 7%
Undertaker- 6%
British Bulldog- 5%
Others- 4%

Tag Team of the Year

Camp Cornette- 48%
Smoking Gunns- 24%
Allied Powers- 12%
The Underdogs- 6%
Sid & The Million Dollar Kid- 5%
Others- 5%

Match of the Year 

Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon- Summerslam- 26%
Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog- IYH December- 23%
Bret Hart vs. Diesel- Survivor Series- 18%
Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Jarrett- King of the Ring- 11%
Bret Hart vs. Jean Pierre Lafitte- IYH September- 6%
Bulldog/Owen/Yoko/Sid/Bigelow vs. Bret/Michaels/Diesel/Undertaker/HOG- Superstars September or October- 5%
Others- 11%

Manager of the Year

Jim Cornette- 40%
Ted Dibiase- 23%
Paul Bearer- 18%
Sunny- 10%
Brother Love- 5%
Others- 4%

Best Finisher 

Undertaker's Tombstone Piledriver- 17%
Owen Hart's Concussion Kick*- 16%
Razor Ramon's Razor's Edge- 14%
Yokozuna's Banzai Drop- 12%
Bret Hart's Sharpshooter- 10%
Shawn Michaels' Superkick- 9%
Ahmed Johnson's Pearl River Plunge- 7%
Hunter Hearst Helmsley's Pedigree- 6%
Diesel's Jacknife Powerbomb- 5%
Others- 4%

Fan's Favorite Wrestler

Shawn Michaels- 27%
Bret Hart- 24%
Undertaker- 13%
Razor Ramon- 10%
Barry Horowitz- 8%
Ahmed Johnson- 7%
Diesel- 5%
Others- 6%

Fan's Least Favorite Wrestler

Goldust- 20%
Owen Hart*- 19%
The Kid- 13%
Jeff Jarrett- 10%
Dean Douglas- 9%
Mr. Bob Backlund- 8%
Skip- 7%
Jerry Lawler- 6%
Diesel- 5%
Others- 3%

Most Improved Wrestler

Barry Horowitz- 85%
British Bulldog- 6%
Henry Godwinn- 5%
Others- 4%

Rookie of the Year

Ahmed Johnson- 37%
Goldust**- 18%
Hunter Hearst Helmsley- 13%
Dean Douglas**- 9%
Savio Vega- 7%
Avatar- 6%
Waylon Mercy**- 5%
Others- 5%

Comeback Wrestler of the Year

Marty Jannetty***- 31%
Sid- 29%
Jean Pierre Lafitte- 14%
Papa Shango- 7%
Yokozuna- 6%
Jeff Jarrett- 5%
Others- 8%

Show of the Year

King of the Ring- 19%
Summerslam- 17%
Survivor Series- 15%
IYH December- 11%
IYH September- 10%
IYH October- 9%
Others- 19%

-I don't have complete voting results for the following category.

Most Shocking Moment 

Shawn Michaels collapses on Raw. (award claimed by the self-proclaimed "two time Slammy Award Winner" Owen Hart)

*WWF Magazine did a hard hitting piece of investigative journalism with an in depth expose on how Owen Hart was literally in tears after learning he only missed out on becoming a Four Time(!) Slammy Award Winner by a few measly votes.

**Considered rookies in WWF canon, though all three men did receive a few votes from cheeky balloteers with long memories in the Comeback category.

***WWF pushed hard for this result, yet Marty still only won by a few votes over Sid.

The Road To In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies (Part 1)

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}Free For All: Barry Horowitz vs. Mankind w/ Brother Love

After months of vignettes the deranged Mankind made a memorable in ring debut on the post-Wrestlemania episode of Raw. First he shocked the WWF Universe by coming out with Brother Love. He then scored a victory over Bob Holly with a disturbing finish where Mankind's bizarre "Mandible Claw" finisher caused "Spark Plugg" to actually start puking. But the fun had just begun. For Mankind struck again after Undertaker defeated Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw in the main event by brutally attacking "The Deadman," no doubt under orders from Brother Love. Taker too fell victim to the demented Mankind's sadistic, vomit-inducing Mandible Claw finisher. Undertaker already had other plans for In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies involving his "quest" (more on that later) but you can bet this war between Mankind and The Deadman is just beginning.

Poor Barry Horowitz just hasn't been the same since his Cinderella Story ended with a WWF Tag Team Championship loss to The Bodydonnas at Royal Rumble. It's been nothing but defeats for "The Winner" since then (perhaps it's time for Mr. Horowitz to adopt a new nickname?). To add insult to injury his Underdog partner Hakushi left the company a month after Royal Rumble, leaving Barry broken and alone. Horowitz has lost whatever mojo he had for those magical 6 months in late 95-early 96. The ever annoying Jerry Lawler has recently made it his mission in life to chronicle Horowitz's current losing streak. It pains me to say Barry has now lost 42 consecutive matches (including live events) dating back to January

Mankind is looking to continue his unbeaten ways on the road to an inevitable collision with The Undertaker while Horowitz is desperately looking to get back in the win column for the first time since January. Handing Mankind his first defeat would surely be just the thing to catapult Horowitz back to stardom. 
-----------------------------------------------------------
1. Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas w/ Sunny- #1 Contenders Match

For months The Smoking Gunns have been widely considered the uncrowned Tag Team Champions by both the WWF Universe and WWF Magazine. Their championship hopes were derailed early in the year when Billy missed some time due to injury. Yet most everyone thought the Gunns would regain the titles for the first time in nearly a year as soon as Billy returned to action. It hasn't worked out that way. They came up short to the New and Improved Rockers in Wrestlemania's Fatal Four Way Match for the belts and it's getting to the point now where folks are starting to murmur about the Gunns being overrated. A win over The Bodydonnas here to put them back in title contention would be just the thing to silence those critics.

The Bodydonnas have struggled since losing the Tag Titles to The Godwinns at In Your House February. Sunny had a plan to use her feminine charms to manipulate Phineas with the end game being the 'Donnas reclaiming the tag titles. Well, that plan was only half successful, and it's the bad half as far as Sunny and Friends are concerned. The ultimate goal of The Bodydonnas plot to regain the championship from the Arkansas hog farmers failed due to the interference of Henry & Hillbilly Jim who immediately and accurately pegged Sunny as a Jezebel. However, much to Sunny's dismay, Phineas remains absolutely smitten with the beautiful Bodydonna. Sunny set her sights upon The New and Improved Rockers after their surprise Wrestlemania victory. Yet that plan got nowhere because in spite of all the New Rockers constant bragging about "banging chicks on the road" the dorky duo seems completely oblivious to Sunny's advances. Anyway, a win by the Bodydonnas here would set them up to meet the winner of Godwinns vs. New and Improved Rockers on Raw the night after In Your House: Good Friends Better Enemies for the tag titles.

2. Marc Mero w/ Sable vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/ The Duke of Droese- Grudge Match

"The Wildman" Marc Mero has already captured the hearts and minds of the WWF Universe since his debut one month ago at Wrestlemania where he won the inaugural Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Since then the busy superstar holds Raw victories over the struggling Sean Waltman (more on that later) and Hunter Hearst Helmsley's fox hunting companion The Duke of Droese. Mero's stunning sidekick Sable has also captured her share of hearts since debuting as Helmsley's Valet for a Day in the Greenwich Blue Blood's 'Mania loss to The Ultimate Warrior. HHH unfairly blamed Sable for his first defeat. Mero came to the aid of a damsel in distress and a relationship between the two beautiful people has since blossomed. Mero is looking to continue his undefeated streak while Helmsley is looking to get back in the win column after his own 10 month unbeaten streak was ended by the Warrior at 'Mania. HHH is also out for revenge on Mero and the lovely Sable.

The Mero/Droese Raw match saw "The Wildman" win clean with a top rope frankensteiner. Helmsley attempted to extract his revenge after the match with a sneak attack on Mero. Yet "The Wildman" quickly thwarted HHH's plans and soon had Helmsley set up for a Sable revenge slap. Alas! The Duke of Droese came to his fellow aristocrat's aid with a cheap shot on Mero allowing Helmsley to avoid the slap while both men came away without any further damage to their bodies, or perhaps more importantly, their massive egos.

3. New and Improved Rockers (c) vs. Godwinns w/ Hillbilly Jim- WWF Tag Team Championship Match

The Godwinns won the titles from The Bodydonnas at In Your House February and lost them the following month at Wrestlemania to The New and Improved Rockers in a Fatal Four Way Match. They're desperate to get those belts back and have exercised their mandatory rematch clause in order to do so. As for the New Rockers, let's let Marty & Leif speak for themselves.....

Marty: Rock on, Leif!
Leif: Rrrrrrock on, Marty!!
*Botched high five
Leif: D'oh!
Marty: Do over!
*Connected high five. Both Rockers do a dorky dance. Then promptly botch another high five.
Leif: Oops. Do over!
Marty: Not this time. Let's talk about these tag team titles. We've been tag team champions for 28 glorious days now. Do you know how long the original Rockers held these belts back when I was carrying Shawn?
Leif: Zero days!
*Connected high five. Dorky dance.
Marty: That's right! Zero days!
Leif: Meaning I am better than Shawn!
Marty: Correctamundo! The only reason he's WWF Champion right now is because I taught him everything he knows back when I spent 5 years carrying his butt. Yet don't you worry Leif. We're just getting started while Shawn's days are coming to an end real soon.....
Leif: Same goes for those stupid Godwinns.
Marty: Exactly! *holds up the belts* You miss these, Godwinns? I'm sure you do. For in the immortal words of Cinderella, you don't know what you got til it's gone.
Leif: And they're headed for another heartbreak at In Your House... 
Marty: While we continue to rock the night....
Leif: Like a hurricane!
*Botched high five
Marty: Hey, Leif. What do you think about Sunny?
Leif: Total scorchcake.
Marty: Agreed. She's magically babelicious. I don't know what she sees in that big, dumb, ugly hog farmer Phineas.
Leif: I know! What a rufus!
Marty: Huh?
Leif: Phineas is such a rufus, amirite?
Marty: I don't know what that means.
Leif: Rufus? It's like a total gearbox.
Marty: Oh! You mean a doofus!
Leif: Huh?
Marty: Nevermind. But yeah. Sunny! *drools*
Leif: Sunny might be a total scorchcake but she can't compare with my Michelle.
Marty: You have a girlfriend?
Leif: Well, no. But if I did her name would be Michelle.
Marty: Rockin!
Leif: Like Dokken!
*Another botched high five
Marty: My girlfriend would be Lita Ford.....or maybe Carrie. Yeah, Carrie is a good name for a girlfriend. *sings* Caaaaaarrie
Leif: Nice!
Marty: And whether it's Lita or Carrie I'd call her my sweet Cherry Pie. 
Leif: *singing Winger's "Seventeen"* My Michelle would be 17.
*Leif goes for a high five. Marty leaves him hanging while staring at the camera, Jim Halpert style

5. Ahmed Johnson & Fatu vs. Samoan Gangsta Party- Samoan Street Fight

The mysterious Samoan Gangsta Party had been attentively watching Fatu's matches for several weeks from ringside. We eventually learned that Sammy The Silk & Big Matty Smalls of the SGP were attempting to get Fatu to drop his "Making A Difference" lifestyle in favor of joining their gang. At first Fatu wanted nothing to do with the two hooligans. Yet as the losses mounted up the veteran Samoan superstar started to seem tempted.....

Enter undefeated Slammy Award winning 1995 Newcomer of the Year Ahmed Johnson. Ahmed had a long talk with Fatu in which he discussed his own unsavory past involving a stint in a gang (you can read all about Ahmed's past in the latest edition of WWF Magazine). After their heart to heart, Fatu decided he's going to continue doing things the right way. He will continue to Make A Difference!

This did not sit well with the Samoan Gangsta Party and they have now declared war on "that traitor" Fatu and his "false friend" Ahmed Johnson. The SGP finally made their in ring debut yesterday morning on Superstars with a brutal Moondog-like assault on overmatched enhancement talent Matt & Jeff Hardy. The Hardy Boys actually won the match when the SGP were disqualified for unacceptable levels of violence. Yet the SGP did not care a lick about that just as they do not care about the rules, period. They showed what they are capable of with weapon shot after weapon shot on the young brothers.

But you can rest assured they will have a much harder time manhandling former tag team champion Fatu and the red hot Ahmed Johnson, who has done more in 6 months than most wrestlers do in a career. Ahmed has already sent Mabel, Dean Douglas & Jeff Jarrett packing from WWF for lesser promotions with their tails between their legs. Ahmed has also body slammed some sense into Yokozuna and made quick work of Sean Waltman at Wrestlemania. Who knows what the Pearl River Powerhouse is capable of in a Samoan Street Fight where weapons are legal!

4. The Ringmaster (c) w/ Ted Dibiase vs. The Caribbean Kid- Million Dollar Championship Match

Ted Dibiase's Million Dollar Champion The Ringmaster remained undefeated with a hard fought Wrestlemania victory over his most persistent nemesis Savio Vega. As far as Dibiase & The Ringmaster were concerned that was the end of their quarrel with Savio. But the Caribbean superstar had other ideas. He challenged Ringmaster to a rematch on the basis that his victory was not clean. Ringmaster was ready to accept but Dibiase interrupted by declining Vega's challenge, accurately pointing out their Wrestlemania match included the stipulation that it was Savio's final crack at the title. For what it's worth, Ringmaster did not seem happy about this. He seemed more than willing to take Savio on yet again. Yet with Dibiase's refusal, Savio went to his Plan B. He challenged Ringmaster to a title match on behalf of his friend, a masked Puerto Rican superstar known as The Caribbean Kid. Dibiase was more than happy to accept this challenge. Only this time Ringmaster was none too pleased. 

The logic being that Dibiase didn't want Ringmaster to wrestle Savio again because Vega had given him a tougher time than any opponent. Ringmaster didn't mind wrestling Savio again because he had studied him and knew all his weaknesses. On the other hand, Dibiase was more than ready to book Ringmaster in a match against the mysterious Caribbean Kid because "how good can he possibly be if he's never been in WWF?" But Ringmaster seems strangely worried about this Puerto Rican star because, being a student of the game, The Ringmaster has no Caribbean Kid footage to study in order to find this mysterious masked man's weaknesses. The Dibiase/Ringmaster difference of opinion has now extended to their matches as well with Ringmaster branching out by winning bouts with maneuvers like the Sugar Hold and Texas Cloverleaf while Dibiase only wants him to utilize the Million Dollar Dream because "it's the most effective wrestling move ever invented." 

We still know nothing about the Caribbean Kid other than he is a friend of Savio Vega's. In completely unrelated news, Vega holds a big Raw victory this month over the struggling Sean Waltman which we will cover more in depth at a later date.

7. Jake "The Snake" Roberts & Yokozuna w/ Roddy Piper vs. Owen Hart & British Bulldog w/ Jim Cornette- Grudge Match

Jake/Yoko/Piper have formed a Veterans Alliance to combat their mutual adversaries in Camp Cornette. Jake has been beefing with Camp Cornette since his return at the Royal Rumble. Yoko finally saw the light and left Jim Cornette's tutelage due to ill treatment after an In Your House February loss to Ahmed Johnson. While Piper has such loathing for Jim Cornette and his Camp that he willingly relinquished his interim WWF Commissioner status for a tag match w/Jake against Owen & Bulldog at Wrestlemania. Unfortunately for the Veterans Alliance and the WWF Universe, our heroes have continually come up short in their quest to put the kibosh on Camp Cornette, with Jake suffering the most defeats, though Yoko also lost a big Colossal Jostle to Camp Cornette's Vader at Wrestlemania.

Yoko joined up with Jake & Piper following a recent Raw match against Owen. Yoko had Owen set up for the dreaded Banzai Drop when Bulldog predictably came to his little buddy's aid. Before long there was Cornette walloping "the turncoat" Yoko with tennis racket shots. Jake & Piper came out to save Yoko as the Veterans Alliance grew from a duo into a party of three.

Jake in particular seems really hung up on Camp Cornette and has been warning the WWF Universe about a hostile takeover from an unstoppable stable. Jake sees this happening in wrestling very, very soon and wants to put a stop to Camp Cornette before it becomes unbeatable. "Trust me" this man who knows a little something about evil says. Meanwhile, over on the Camp Cornette's side, Bulldog seems weirdly obsessed with slamming Yokozuna, which is something he has yet to do, and something only a few people have ever done. While "The Two Time Slammy Award Winning" Owen Hart & Jim Cornette himself are more concerned with bringing championship gold back to the faction.

Love the Rockers segment. They're as great as Wayne and Garth.

Also, if Barry needs a new nickname, I'll forever and always campaign for Howitzer Horowitz.

And I'm strangely more into Ahmed than I thought I would be. Here's hoping for a Fatu double cross though and the growth of an unstoppable Samoan gang.

Feb 26, 2019 15:01:03 GMT 🤯 said:

Love the Rockers segment. They're as great as Wayne and Garth.

Also, if Barry needs a new nickname, I'll forever and always campaign for Howitzer Horowitz.

And I'm strangely more into Ahmed than I thought I would be. Here's hoping for a Fatu double cross though and the growth of an unstoppable Samoan gang.

Then you're in luck because I've got big things planned for Ahmed and even bigger things in store for the New and Improved Rockers. If I remember I'll even throw you a bone with a Howitzer Horowitz segment I just thought up.

I'm going to add a few things to last nights post when I get time and hope to have the next installment of IYH hype up this evening. IYH itself should probably be up by Saturday at the latest. 

The Road To In Your House: Beware of Dog (Part 2)

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}

6. Ultimate Warrior vs. Sean Waltman

The Warrior showed no ring rust after a three and a half year absence when he returned at Wrestlemania to make quick work of the previously undefeated Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Warrior continued his winning ways by making equally quick work of both Dr. Tom & Skip of the Bodydonnas in back to back matches on a memorable episode of Raw. Nor was Warrior distracted by the feminine wiles of Sunny. The man from Parts Unknown responded to her flirting with a primal growl. Far from being taken aback, Sunny actually seemed rather turned on by the bestial Warrior!

Now we come to the other end of the spectrum with the struggling Sean Waltman who has found neither wins nor showers since losing a Crybaby Match to friend turned enemy Razor Ramon at In Your House February. In fact, if it wasn't for Barry Horowitz Waltman would be THE coldest wrestler in the company. Waltman was squashed by Ahmed Johnson at Wrestlemania and proceeded to lose both of his Raw matches this month- one to Marc Mero and another to Savio Vega.  Let's talk about them....

Before the Mero match Waltman was spotted in the locker room of Hunter Hearst Helmsley & The Duke of Droese chatting with the two toffs. Waltman had enlisted Helmsley to search his trusty copy of Burke's Peerage in the hope that HHH would find a Waltman of royal blood. In return Waltman vowed to take down Helmsley's latest nemesis in "The Wildman." Helmsley relayed more bad news to Waltman by telling him there were no known Waltman's among the aristocracy. It was all Waltman could do to hold back tears. He then offered to be Helmsley's squire. Helmsley refused. So desperate for a friend after all those years of tagging along with one wrestler or another, Waltman even offered to kiss Helmsley's feet! HHH once again refused point blank telling Waltman that he stunk and should go take a shower. A despondent Waltman sulked out of the room while HHH and Droese shook their heads at the departing grungy superstar while laughing and holding their noses. Keep in mind Helmsley has had no problems aligning himself with such illustrious luminaries as Jeeves The Butler and the former Dumpster. Yet even he wants nothing to do with "The Loser" Sean Waltman.

Next up was Waltman trying to get back in the good graces of Ted Dibiase before The Kid's upcoming match with Dibiase & Ringmaster nemesis Savio Vega. Waltman brought up his glory days as Dibiase's Million Dollar Kid and begged The Million Dollar Man to bring him back into the fold. Dibiase refused point blank, claiming The Kid was a bad investment who cost him a million dollars. The Kid then got down on his knees for some more begging. "What if I can beat Savio?" the Kid asked. Dibiase still wasn't having it. He made it crystal clear that he wants nothing to do with Waltman. Ringmaster finally chimed in to tell Waltman that he stunk and should go take a shower.

The next week on Raw a clearly broken Waltman issued an open challenge to any WWF Superstar for an In Your House match. You think he would have learned his lesson after getting squashed by Ahmed Johnson at Wrestlemania! Nope. And sure enough Kid's open challenge was answered by a man mighty enough to be considered Ahmed's equal- The Ultimate Warrior!

We don't like to go out on a limb and make predictions here. It seems untoward, as if we are playing favorites. But I'd bet every penny I have that The Warrior makes quick work of the defeated, depressed, and increasingly deranged Sean Waltman.

8. Razor Ramon vs. Vader w/ Jim Cornette

Rumors swirled after Razor Ramon went MIA for a few weeks following his gut wrenching loss to Goldust at Wrestlemania in a Hollywood Backlot Brawl so bizarre it could only have been spawned from the strange mind of Goldust. Razor's absence was attributed to all sorts of wild rumors. Speculation ran rampant. Some said he was leaving WWF altogether. Others claimed his recent funk had sent him into a drug and alcohol induced stupor. Still others claimed he had entered into a rehabilitation facility stemming from either his recent loss to Goldust, or the months of mind games The Bizarre One had engaged Razor in. Few people seemed to know the truth, and those who did, like Savio Vega, weren't talking. Even now Razor is remaining tight lipped about his nearly 4 week long disappearing act. While we hope none of these rumors are true, and tend to believe Razor just took some well-deserved time off after nearly four years of continuous service to an always appreciative WWF Universe, the truth is, well, may never know the truth.....

But Commissioner Gorilla Monsoon answered Vader's call for stiffer competition after the Rocky Mountain Mastodon pummeled Aldo Montoya in a recent one sided Raw match by announcing Vader would be taking on none other than the returning 4 time Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon at In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies. Far from being your standard cowardly villain, Vader seemed thrilled with Monsoon's decision, though Cornette was less enthused about Vader having to take on perhaps his toughest test to date.

Vader vs. Razor. Two of the greatest wrestlers over the past few years, if not of all time, will be squaring off for the first time ever in a bonafide dream match. This alone is worth the price of In Your House as far as we are concerned.

9. Goldust (c) w/ Marlena vs. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer- Casket Match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship

Here is yet another match worth the price of admission alone. These two Masters of the Mind Games were bound to collide eventually. It's just happening far sooner than any of us could have anticipated. Both men are red hot coming off major Wrestlemania victories where Undertaker defeated his nemesis Diesel and Goldust eeked out a victory over his arch rival Razor Ramon with the help of his debuting "director" Marlena. Goldust is a man who loves the spotlight while Undertaker prefers to dwell in the darkness. Goldust has the gold while Undertaker wants it. Oh yeah. This is big.

On the Raw following Wrestlemania Undertaker made a promise to his Creatures of the Night that he would win WWF gold within a year. For far too long Taker has had a tendency to become embroiled in personal feuds without championship gold at stake. No more! 1996 (or maybe '97 at the very latest) will be the Year of the Deadman. He hasn't been been pinned or submitted in a whopping four and a half years(!) and it's long past time he picks up a championship or two as a reward for those years of success. Enter Goldust. And, well, you can see for yourselves what transpired between The Golden One and The Deadman.....



*Only in this universe Mankind's attack happened....will say the following week.

Commissioner Gorilla Monsoon granted Taker his request by booking an Intercontinental Championship match against Goldust for In Your House. Now Taker may have initially preferred to put friendship aside and go after new WWF Champion Shawn Michaels since that's the title he had been targeting since December, but at the same time he wasn't going to say no to a match against IC Champ Goldust, especially after what Goldust had done the previous week. 

Taker closed that first eventful episode of Raw with an impressive victory over Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw. Yet once again Taker may have found himself involved in a personal feud when demented newcomer Mankind assaulted The Deadman while longtime Taker adversary Brother Love shouted encouragement to the sadistic boiler room dweller. Then, to add insult to injury, Goldust sauntered out to frankly have his way with The Deadman as we quickly went off the air before things became too disturbing for our viewers at home. Due to Goldust's actions Commissioner Monsoon added a Casket Match stipulation to the IYH IC Title Match. Taker and Paul Bearer quickly built a gold casket in the hope that it will be Goldust's final resting place. Meanwhile, this Undertaker vs. Mankind rivalry is only getting started. The only question is will there be gold on the line when the two men inevitably clash for the first time?

More Goldust.....



10. Shawn Michaels (c) vs. Diesel- No Holds Barred Match for the WWF Championship 

New WWF Champion Shawn Michaels made his first defense a successful one with a Raw victory over Jerry "The King" Lawler while his good friend turned better enemy Diesel is refusing to wrestle on live tv until he regains "his" WWF Championship. 

Old champion Bret Hart is currently on a self-imposed hiatus. "The Hitman" confirmed this by calling into an episode of Raw. Neither WWF nor Bret himself knows when, or even if, he will return to active in ring competition. You can read an excellent rundown of Bret's historic career in the latest issue of WWF Magazine.

*I'm tired and burned out. Plus this video I'm about to share tells you everything you need to know about Shawn vs. Diesel. But be sure to only watch the first 3:25! *Spoiler Alert* Save the rest for when I post the show itself in a few days.

In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies
April 28, 1996
Live on pay per view from Omaha, Nebraska
Part One

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}

*Jim Ross has the unenviable task of calling the Free For All alongside the heel duo of Mr. Perfect & Jerry Lawler. The trio welcomes us to In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies and proceeds to run down the card in much the same manner as I did yesterday. We get quick promos from Shawn Michaels & Diesel which aired around the 3 minute mark in the HBK/Diesel hype video I posted yesterday.

Free For All: Barry Horowitz vs. Mankind w/ Brother Love

Horowitz surprises Mankind right off the bat with the very same match opening small package he used to beat Buddy Landell at IYH: December '95. 1-2-NO! Mankind, not being the Worst In The World, kicks out. And now he's angry. The demented newcomer proceeds to beat on poor Barry for about three minutes before ending things with yet another puke inducing Mandible Claw. He continues to apply the dreaded maneuver (which Commissioner Gorilla Monsoon should really look into banning in our opinion) until his soothing outro piano music causes him to relinquish the hold. Brother Love enters the ring to trash talk The Undertaker while Mankind rocks back and forth whilst sitting on the mat. Jerry Lawler gleefully kicks Horowitz while he's down by reminding the WWF Universe that the so-called "Winner" has now lost 43 consecutive matches dating back to the Royal Rumble.

*Pyro and ballyhoo kick off In Your House proper as Vince McMahon replaces Mr. Perfect at the commentary booth.

1. Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas w/ Sunny- #1 Contenders Match

This is a fast paced 8 minute tag match in front of a sadly quiet crowd. The Gunns use their size and strength to control while the 'Donnas rely on cheating, quickness, and Sunny. Both duos exhibit equally good teamwork. In the end the Gunns prove to be too much for the Bodydonnas when they score the duke with a Sidewinder on Dr. Tom to earn #1 Contender status for the WWF Tag Team Championship. Post-match sees Skip tend to his fallen partner while Sunny alternates between berating both of her charges and casting longing looks at the celebratory Gunns.

*Short hype video for our next match chronicling the history of Mero & Helmsley from Wrestlemania until now.

2. Marc Mero w/ Sable vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/ The Duke of Droese

Very traditional match with athletic, energetic babyface Mero pushing the pace with armdrags, headscissors, and the like while the heel Helmsley relies on punching, cheating, and rest holds. The crowd is going through the motions in the same manner as the two participants. This goes on for about 8 minutes until the finishing stretch kicks in to really wake up the crowd. Helmsley attained control after 'accidentally' moving the ref in front of a Merosault. History was made with the ref down when The Duke of Droese became the first of millions to pull a trashcan out from underneath the ring. The Duke threw the aluminum can to Helmsley just before a Mero baseball slide took him out of the equation. But now HHH had the trash can! Mero was on the apron about to turn around right into a trashcan to the dome. But NO! Sable blocks Helmsley's attempted coup de grace. Helmsley turns around. SLAP! Sable finally has her revenge! The slap turns HHH around right into a Mero sunset flip just as the ref conveniently regains his bearings. 1-2-3! Marc Mero remains undefeated. Post-match sees Mero & Sable celebrate while Helmsley feels the hand imprint on his face and blames what has just transpired on The Duke of Droese.

*The Godwinns get a quick backstage interview with Mr. Perfect. They're fixin' to bring the WWF Tag Team Championship back to Bitters, Arkansas. The New and Improved Rockers also get a backstage interview with Todd Pettengill and it's too good not to transcribe....

Todd: I'm here with WWF Tag Team Champions The New and Improved Rockers...
*The Rockers enter in a cheerful mood
Marty: Toddy Todd, what's up, my man?
Todd:.....
Leif: You're a hip cat, Todd. Has anyone ever told you that before?
Todd: Well, no, actually.
Marty: You're kidding, right?
Leif: He's gotta be.
Leif again: Can we call you Todd the Bod?
Todd: Umm....sure. Wait. Are you mocking me?
Leif & Marty: NO!
Marty: You can hang with us any time!
Leif: We're always on the look out for a fellow chick magnet and that hair do you're sportin' is TOO SWEET!
*The Rockers start chanting "Todd the Bod"
Todd: Umm....thanks. I think.
*Leif & Marty botch a high five. Then botch high fives with "Todd the Bod"
Marty: Let's get down to business. 
Leif: We took something from the Godwinns that they want back.
Marty: Well, it's not happening. We are never ever...
Leif: Ever...
Marty: Losing these tag team titles.
Leif: These belts went round and round.
Marty: Until we came along. And if you think those big, dumb, ugly hog farmers are getting these belts back....
Leif: You've got another thing coming.
Marty: And as for that other thing, The Godwinns have been out here slopping folks for far too long...
Leif: And we're not gonna take it...
Marty: Anymore!
*Both Rockers start singing the "oh oh" part of Twisted Sister's classic. Then botch another high five
Marty: Hey, Todd?
Todd: Yeah.
Leif: We've got a big surprise coming up in just a few minutes.
Marty: You're going to love it.
Todd: Oh yeah? What is it?
Marty: All we can say is...
Leif: Cum on feel the noize
Todd: I don't even know what that means.
Marty: Girls rock your boys
Leif: And by boys, Marty means us.
Marty: So rock us, girls!
*Connected high five! Dorky dance commences 
*An exasperated Pettengill throws it back to the commentary team

3. The New and Improved Rockers (c) vs. The Godwinns w/ Hillbilly Jim- WWF Championship Match

*The Godwinns are out first. Then The New and Improved Rockers come out for this culture clash to....



While this graphic appears on the TitanTron and flashes across the tv screens of those millions watching on PPV......

The Rockers with Shawn Michaels: 0 days as WWF Tag Team Champions
The New and Improved Rockers: 28 days and counting as WWF Tag Team Champions

Oh. My. God. They are the best.

The commentary team puts 2 and 2 together and realizes their epic new entrance music is the surprise they mentioned to Pettengill.

But wait! Leif snatches The Fink's mic. He cleans it before handing it to Marty. Jannetty berates the "Oakland" crowd for not cheering enough during their entrance. We are in Omaha. The New Rockers then walk back up the aisle only to re-enter the Arena moments later for a do over! The unappreciative Omaha crowd actually has the temerity to boo them even more loudly than the first time. Buncha savages! The New Rockers amazingly go to repeat the same shtick as before when those low life Godwinns attack. BOO! Although those Omaha barbarians cheer as if Henry & Phineas have just lead the Nebraska Cornhuskers to yet another college football championship.

The match is really rather poor. Leif can't do much of his experimental offense to the husky Godwinns while Phineas is incapable of doing much of anything to anybody. But the hot crowd carries it to 'decent' levels. Godwinns control early after jumping The Rockers. Rockers come back with a cheat on Phineas. They work PIG over for a while until miscommunication leads to a meeting of the (empty) minds in the form of a double noggin knocker. Hot tag to Henry! It breaks loose into a de facto Texas Tornado match with the New Rockers eventually getting the better of things. The difference maker is a superkick/legsweep version of Total Elimination(!) on Phineas, effectively taking him out of the match. HOG fought 'em hard. He fought 'em well. Out in that ring he gave them hell. But the numbers game proved to be too much and he eventually succumbed to a Marty superkick ("Eat your heart out, Shawn!") followed by a Leif moonsault for the win. The New Rockers have yet another over the top celebration after the win with Leif shouting "We're going to Disneyworld!" while I'm just sitting here at home giving my new favorite wrestlers the "We're Not Worthy" bowing treatment.

*Video recap of the Ringmaster/Savio feud

4. Ringmaster (c) w/ Ted Dibiase vs. Caribbean Kid- Million Dollar Championship Match

Ringmaster is out first to going through the motions booing. Caribbean Kid enters to Savio's theme and moderate cheers. This is a shtick heavy 80s style face vs. heel match based around the mask/identity of Caribbean Kid. Immediately after the opening match lockup The Ringmaster shouts "That's Savio Vega!" See, because he's a student of the game who can identify any wrestler he ever worked with simply by the way they lock up. The next minute or so is spent with Ringmaster & Dibiase trying to convince the ref to unmask The Caribbean Kid. The ref refuses while we can clearly see CK laughing under the mask. Commentary team is split with JR & Vince predictably claiming CK is not, in fact, Savio, while an apoplectic Lawler just KNOWS it is. Ringmaster is clearly flummoxed by all of this. CKid controls with some decidedly un-Savio Vega like flying moves, causing doubt with the viewers at home and even "The King." Ringmaster eventually finds his footing and scores with some potentially match ending submissions like the Regal Stretch and Boston Crab. Dibiase rather annoyingly keeps telling Ringmaster to "go for the Dream" while CK is in these dangerous holds. Ringmaster finally acquiesces to his manager's demands. The Million Dollar Dream is applie...NO! CK scores with a nifty forward roll cradle out of a russian leg sweep position. 1-2-3! The Caribbean Kid has just upset The Ringmaster in his very first match to become the NEEEWWW Million Dollar Champion! The Omaha crowd, which had been on a low energy 5/10 for the match now comes alive with raucous applause for their newest hero. But wait! Sneak attack by both Ringmaster and Dibiase. They go to unmask the Kid. The mask is off! And it's....

Saaaaaaaaavio Vega! TM Vince McMahon 

Savio (and Vince) has a jolly good laugh as he hightails it to the back slapping the hands of fans with his newly won Million Dollar Championship safely around his shoulder. The Ringmaster & Dibiase are both irate after Ringmaster's first defeat with each man blaming the other as much as Savio for this unfortunate turn of events.

*Video package airs recapping the recent events which brought about this next match.....

5. Ahmed Johnson & Fatu vs. Samoan Gangsta Party- Samoan Street Fight

The Samoan Gangsta Party are dressed for a street fight in jean shorts and football jerseys- Junior Seau of the San Diego Chargers for Sammy the Silk and Jesse Sapolu of the San Francisco 49ers for Big Matty Smalls. Ahmed & Fatu are in their regular wrestling attire. This begins with all four hosses throwing fisteses and never lets up for 8 minutes as an early WWF version of an ECW style brawl. Weapons are hurled recklessly. We get some walk & brawl including an infamous moment where Sammy & Fatu tumble into the crowd. A fan touches Sammy and "The Silk" responds by decking the fan. Sammy is fired after the match for this incident while Matty quits in solidarity with his family member. The two then have a cup of coffee in ECW. It was easy to miss at the time but becomes part of wrestling lore in the 21st century thanks to various wrestling sites and YouTube. This match also becomes notorious in later years for Ahmed giving both Samoans concussions with overly stiff weapon shots (Sammy would later claim in a million dollar lawsuit against WWE that he only struck that fan because he was feeling loopy due to Ahmed having already concussed him. Fwiw the case was thrown out of court by the judge.) This match would be fairly highly regarded at the time with many giving it *** and above grades while praising it as "unique" but later reviewers would dismiss it as "* brawling crap."

Anyway, with Fatu down around the 6 minute mark, the SGP manage to actually handcuff Ahmed to the guardrail, leaving Fatu to fight them all alone. The man making a difference puts up a strong effort but eventually succumbs to the numbers game. The SGP both go up top for a double diving headbutt when Ahmed breaks the barricade! The double flying headbutt connects. It becomes a race now. 1-Ahmed runs-2-Still running-Thr-NO! Ahmed with the save! Now Ahmed goes ballistic on both Samoans, breaking what's left of the barricade over their backs, and tossing the pair of 300 pounders around like they're mere cruiserweights. Pearl River Plunge to Sammy on the floor! Pearl River Plunge to Matty in the ring! Ahmed has singlehandedly done it! The three count is academic at this point. 1-2-NO! Ahmed rolls off. He points to Fatu. Ahmed wants Fatu to win this family feud for himself. And a flying splash does just that! Fatu & Ahmed Johnson bask in the adulation of the crowd having just beaten the Samoan Gangstas at their own game!

*Video packages air on Warrior's return and Waltman's struggles.

6. Ultimate Warrior vs. Sean Waltman

Waltman is already in the ring when Warrior's music hits. He comes running out to a big pop. He keeps running into the ring where he dodges a Waltman spinkick. The bell rings. Warrior hits a flying shoulder block for the 1-2-3. Well, that was quick. Warrior celebrates by shaking the ropes whilst growling. Waltman attacks with feeble blows. Warrior turns around to give him a "WTF" look. Then hoists him up in Gorilla Press slam position and throws him out to the floor. Waltman lands with a sickening THUD! Warrior goes right back to celebrating, having just swatted away the equivalent of a mildly bothersome fly.

*Tired and burned out. Part 2 will likely be up tomorrow or Friday.

For Part 1, I'm having a hard time picking a favorite. I fucking love the way you write these recaps.

I have a growing feeling that your NIP Rockers will land high in my personal Top Ten things for this iteration of your rebook, and I totally thought their match was going to be my favorite of the card so far.

But then that SGP match was the most meta brilliant thing I've read in fan fiction in a while, if not forever. And then you capped Part 1 with the perfect little squash.

Loved the Hogan allusions with Ahmed in the SGP match. Part of me really wants you to say fuck reality and hard push Ahmed into world title stuff in 1996. Go all in Hogan/Luger with him. :lol:

In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies
April 28, 1996
Live on Pay Per View from Omaha, Nebraska
Part Two

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}
7. Yokozuna & Jake "The Snake" Roberts w/ Roddy Piper vs. Owen Hart & British Bulldog w/ Jim Cornette

Yoko & Bulldog begin the match by recreating the famous Hogan/Andre WM 3 opening. Bulldog goes to fulfill his latest dream by body slamming Yoko but the big man is just too heavy. Davey collapses under Yoko's weight. 1-2-NO! Davey rolls out to the floor clearly in pain. Owen consoles his British brother in law while Cornette rubs his back. Owen & Cornette lobby for a timeout. Piper mocks them while referee Earl Hebner quotes Zillah from Lark Rise To Candleford by saying he ain't 'avin' it. 7-8-9. Davey breaks the count by rolling into the ring for a rare heel in peril segment. Yoko & Jake exchange quick tags while working DBS over with boring restholdy stuff until Yoko goes to end it with his lethal Banzai Drop. NO! DBS moves. Tag to Owen while Yoko tags Jake. Owen gets the better of Jake until the wily "Snake" holds onto the ropes causing Owen to miss a dropkick. Jake tags Yoko who comes in to eat Owen up. Yoko scores several two counts on his former partner until a timely Cornette racket shot behind Hebner's back gives Owen the chance to tag in Bulldog. Piper then chases Cornette to the back, effectively eliminating both managers from the match. Luckily for Davey, Yoko also needs to make a tag. Jake & Bulldog exchange short-lived control segments with Roberts eventually coming out on top due to Bulldog's injured back. Jake sets Davey up for the short-armed clothesline near Camp Cornette's corner. It connects while Owen makes a blind tag. Jake calls for the DDT. But Owen hits him with a perfectly legal spinkick while he has Davey in DDT position. "The Two Time Slammy Award Winner" then covers Jake with what we called an "Owen Hart Pin" back in the day for the 1-2-3. The Veteran Alliance once again succumbs to the might of Camp Cornette. Owen celebrates while his partner is hardly in a celebratory mood as he continues to nurse his back injury. Davey does at least oblige Owen with the patented Camp Cornette Cool Handshake, which goes....

Davey gives Owen a double low five
Owen gives Davey a double low five
Owen gives a thumbs up while Davey gives Owen a double "you da man" finger point. 

It's the best and I feel sorry for any of you who haven't seen/don't remember it.

*Piper is still chasing Jim Cornette backstage when Piper literally runs into Goldust. Rather than being taken aback by the collision, Goldust takes a deep breath and utters his immortal "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Sexette- 1978" line. Piper responds by punching Goldust in the face and continues the assault with grounded punches while getting bleeped. Cornette is long gone as a gaggle of WWF Officials pulls "The Hot Rod" off "The Bizarre One."

8. Razor Ramon vs. Vader w/ Jim Cornette

Razor returns from a mysterious four week absence to a nice pop as the crowd is hyped in general for this first time ever dream match. Cornette is looking mighty disheveled in addition to being out of breath as he accompanies Vader to the ring.

Razor has flurries of offense to keep the crowd hot but Vader continually cuts him off and dominates most of the match in a way few have ever done against the legendary 4 Time Intercontinental Champion. Razor mounts one last flurry down the stretch after dodging a Vader Bomb. Razor is gonna do it! He sets Vader up for his trademark Razor's Edge. NO! Vader back body drops out of it. And when Razor gets up he gets smacked right back down again with a Vader Bump. Powerbomb by the Mastodon. Connects! 1-2-NO! Vader, undeterred, goes for the Vader Bomb. That too connects! 1-2-NO! Razor just does get his foot on the bottom rope in the nick of time. Crowd goes hard with "Razor Razor" chants. Vader picks Razor up, shouts "Who's the man," and connects with a second ring rattling powerbomb. This time he doesn't even bother for the cover. Instead he goes up for a Vader Bom...NO! He's going all the way up top. Oh My God! Moonsault by the 452 pound Rocky Mountain Mastodon! It's academic at this point. 1-2-3. Vader has just defeated 4 Time Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon clean as a sheet! Wow! This Vader certainly is a force to be reckoned with. Cornette enters the ring to smile for the first time in about a half hour. It's been another stellar night for Cornette's Camp.

*Rather lengthy video package chronicling the last few months in the careers of Undertaker & Goldust culminating with the series of events leading up to our next match.....

9. Goldust (c) w/ Marlena vs. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer- Casket Match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship

Even with the facepaint it's clear to see Goldust has a black eye due to being socked by Roddy Piper a short time ago. He uses this to try getting out of the match. "I'm a lover, not a fighter. So love me, Deadman"- Goldust.

Undertaker responds by giving Goldust a second black eye Poor Goldust. It just isn't his night. And with that, the match is on. Taker dominates most of the way. Goldust uses his rare moments of offense by attempting to feel up Undertaker. It never goes well. 'Taker has his way toying around with The Golden One. This is basically an extended squash but the rabid anti-Goldust Omaha crowd doesn't seem to mind in the slightest. Taker is finally about to end things following a Tombstone. Marlena tries to save her man. But one look from The Deadman has her backing down. Paul Bearer "OH YES"es while opening the gold casket specially made for Goldust.....

When Mankind jumps out of the casket! Legitimately scaring viewers at home. The deranged newcomer catches Undertaker completely off guard with his dreaded Mandible Claw. A now-bold Marlena throws gold dust into Bearer's eyes, temporarily blinding him. The Omaha crowd is going crazy with boos. One fan even hops the rail! He is quickly dealt with by security. Some spew trickles out from the side of Undertaker's mouth (WWF has decided to significantly cut back on the "vomit" effect due to complaints from angry parents). 'Taker is soon incapacitated on the apron. Goldust rolls him into the casket with a few disdainful kicks. Mankind slams the door shut. Goldust has done it! He has just retained his Intercontinental Championship despite very little offense and two black eyes. Mankind rocks back and forth atop the casket while Goldust lovingly strokes his hair as Marlena feels up the IC Champ. This whole thing is way too disturbing for me. And it's about to get even worse....

Because Brother Love struts out like the cock of the walk armed with both a (gold) baseball bat AND an ax! What the heck is going on here?!? Brother Love pops Paul Bearer with a baseball bat shot just for the heck of it. What a jerk! Mankind seems weirdly upset by this. But he quickly cheers up when Brother Love hands him the ax while keeping the gold baseball bat for himself. Goldust & Marlena give Mankind and Brother Love a respectful nod before retreating to the back to do....whatever it is those two weirdos do. No! No!! NO!!! The dastardly duo proceed to beat the casket with their weapons while Undertaker is stuck is inside!  Oh, the humanity! A hush falls over the Omaha crowd. A gaggle of WWF officials eventually clear them away from the ringside area. But the damage is done. After some trepidation, a woozy Paul Bearer eventually agrees to open the casket. Oh no! Cut away! Cut away! Our audience does not need to see the what remains of the undead zombie formerly known as The Undertaker! Alas, the camera does not cut away in time. But wait! What's this? Neither The Undertaker nor his remains are inside the casket. Interesting...."Oh yes!" squeals Bearer. This remains too much. Let's send it to the back....

*Barry Horowitz & Jake Roberts are in the good guys locker room chatting away while nursing their wounds

Jake: Look, I'm sorry about that time I let Damian writhe all over your unconscious body. I was a different person back then.
Barry: I still have nightmares....
Jake: I said I was sorry. Look, I'll make it up to you. You were just talking about the need for a snappy new nickname like "The Snake," right? I got it. How about Howitzer Horowitz?
Barry: I....don't really like guns. They....scare me. 
Jake: Hmm... Fair enough...I guess... Well, what do you like?
Barry: Math.....and baseball. I like baseball and math.
Jake:....I got nothing. Maybe I'll just teach you the DD....

*We hear two people singing Queen's "We Are The Champions"....poorly.... while the proper version plays underneath their subpar vocals. The New and Improved Rockers enter the locker room a second later blasting their new theme music on a boombox.

Marty (laughing): Math!
Leif (also laughing): What a geek!
Marty: Nerd!
Leif: Dweeb!
Marty: Gearbox!
Leif: Rufus!
Marty: Dork!
Leif: Dorkus Malorkus!
*Jake gets up ready to fight
Marty: Sit down, grandpa. We didn't come here to fight. We've got no problem with you or that loo-ooo-ooooser over there.
Leif: Besides, baseball is pretty groovy. That John Elway is a heck of a pitcher! Why I'll bet you a three dollar bill that he leads the Colorado Avalanche to the March Madness championship this May.
*Even Marty is dumbfounded by this one. 
Jake (trying to clear the stupid from his mind): What do you want then?
Marty: We just came here to show off our tag team titles. 
Leif: Don't you losers wish you had sweet belts like this to show off?
*This time Barry gets up alongside Jake. Both veterans are ready to fight.
Marty: Down boys. 
Leif: We're here to help.
Marty: How about Barry "The Bozo"?
Leif: "Boring" Barry?
Marty: Barry "The Bum"?
Leif: "Horrible" Horowitz?
Both: HORRIBLEWITZ!
*Botched high five
*Jake & Barry just roll their eyes and shake their heads. 
Leif: Not a fan, I guess?
Marty: OK. Different line of approach. Melvin over there likes math, huh?
Leif: heh heh Melvin. Heh heh Math.
Marty: How about the Mathelete?
Leif: Math Magician!
Marty: Nah, Mathelete is better. See, because you can call him a Special Mathelete.
Leif: heh heh Special.
Barry: No thanks. Please leave.
Leif: Ooh! The Math Magician is getting mad. What are you gonna do? Cast a spell on us? Ooh. I'm SO scared...
Marty: It's Mathelete!
Leif: Oh yeah. That's right. My bad. Ooh. The SPECIAL Mathelete is getting mad. I'm SO....
Jake & Barry: GET OUT!
Leif: Heh heh. Grandpa and The Mathelete are just mad because we're better than they are at Wrestling AND Math.
Marty: Long division time! 63 divided by 7. Let's see if you can get that one, Mathelete!
Leif (nudging Marty): SPECIAL Mathelete
Barry (bored): That's not even long division and the answer is 9.
Both Rockers: Wrong! 
Marty: It's 11!
Leif (at the same time): 17!
Marty: What's the deal with you and 17?
Leif: It's the sexiest letter.
*Marty tries teaching Leif the difference between letters and numbers. Apparently this is an ongoing thing. Then they argue over whether the correct answer is 11 or 17. 
Jake: Idiots.
Barry: Dumber than a box of rocks....

*The New Rockers have had enough of these insults and are fixing to fight. Barry & Jake are more than willing to oblige....
*When Commissioner Gorilla Monsoon enters the room.

Monsoon: Everything ok here, boys?
All Four: Umm...yeah.
Monsoon: That's what I thought. Well, I've got good news, bad news, and great news for you guys. The bad news is I'm giving you the night off tomorrow, Barry. You need to start winning some matches before I can put you on Raw again.
Barry (dejected): Yes, sir.
Monsoon: And the good news is Jake will be wrestling Sean Waltman tomorrow night on Raw.
Jake: Sounds good to me.
Monsoon: And you two idiots....err Rockers will also be in action....
Marty: Excellent!
Leif: Rufus!
Marty (confused): I thought Rufus meant Doofus?
Leif: Nah, man. It's like Aces or Dynamite.
*Even Marty shakes his head and rolls his eyes now
Gorilla: AS I WAS SAYING, you two will be in action....against The Smoking Gunns!
Marty: No way, man!
Leif: Not cool!
*Jake & Barry connect on a high five while snickering as the New Rockers plead with Monsoon before Leif lapses into a full blown temper tantrum by rolling around on the floor and banging it while shouting "NOT FAIR!"
Marty: Get up and have some dignity, maan! We can beat those cowpokes!
Gorilla: Oh yeah. There's just one more thing. I forgot to mention THE TAG TITLES WILL BE ON THE LINE!
*Now Marty throws an equally pathetic hissy fit.
Gorilla: Womp Womp.
*Commissioner Monsoon takes a bow as Barry & Jake give him a two man standing ovation while the New Rockers continue their childish tantrum.

10. Shawn Michaels (c) vs. Diesel- No Holds Barred Match for the WWF Championship

The Good Friends turned Better Enemies have a wild brawl rated ****1/2 by most pundits and considered a classic to this day. It's the best performance of Diesel's career as he goes all out sadistic heel in an attempt to regain the title he lost to Bret Hart at Survivor Series some five months earlier. The highlight is Diesel removing Mad Dog Vachon's fake leg to use a weapon! Yet in the end Golden Boy Shawn Michaels finally vanquishes his former friend to establish himself as THE man in WWF. You can't improve on perfection so watch the full match complete with pre-match hype video here.

Howitzer Horowitz shout! Love it!

News and Notes from the Wrestling Observer

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}

General consensus on In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies is it was an average to slightly above average show saved by the stellar ****1/2 Michaels vs. Diesel main event. Most correspondents gave it a 5/10 or 6/10 rating with a fair amount also praising Ahmed Johnson & Fatu vs. Samoan Gangsta Party as a "wild ECW style brawl," though all agree it was eclipsed by the main event. The majority of readers had a positive assessment of the booking while criticizing most of the wrestling on the undercard. The New and Improved Rockers are generating a buzz with nearly every correspondent weighing in with their thoughts on the WWF Tag Team Champions. Views are split between those calling them "a hilarious breath of fresh air" and others who either don't get the gimmick, or get the gimmick but feel like it's becoming rapidly overexposed with the dorky duo getting far too much tv time.

An even bigger story is the impending departure of Kevin "Diesel" Nash, Scott "Razor Ramon" Hall, and Sean Waltman. We've been covering this story for weeks now and the day of reckoning is finally upon WWF. Nash has finished up on TV. He was scheduled to work tonight's Raw with WWF officials offering him the chance to choose who he wanted to put over on his way out. Without hesitation he predictably answered Shawn Michaels. This was vetoed with the feeling being their program wrapped up marvelously at IYH. WWF brass also had other things in mind for Shawn since they do need to build to the next In Your House. Nash's second choice was Undertaker. Now Vince was getting annoyed since Nash was well aware that 'Taker isn't scheduled to work TV this month in order to sell his latest "death" at the hands of Mankind of Brother Love. Nash became openly cheeky by suggesting fellow defector Razor Ramon as his 3rd choice. Vince and company finally tired of Nash's games. They put their foot down and demanded he put over Ahmed Johnson. This time it was Nash who vetoed. Johnson has gained a well-deserved reputation for working recklessly. He concussed both members of the Samoan Gangsta Party just one night earlier. Nash justifiably didn't want to risk a potential injury when he's walking into a million dollar contract from WCW. Things then became heated and stories vary on whether Nash was told to go home or Nash walked out himself. The two sides later compromised with Nash agreeing to work his remaining house show dates.

WWF had an easier time working things out with Hall & Waltman. Hall's first choice of wrestling Hunter Hearst Helmsley in his TV swan song was agreed to by the office while Jake Roberts, who is on the booking committee in a story we broke weeks ago, booked himself to be Waltman's farewell opponent. Waltman agreed out of respect for the company legend. Expect some kind of angle to go down with both Hall & Waltman tonight, possibly in the form of last minute stipulations being added to their matches.

WCW is over the moon about poaching three of WWF's biggest stars in one fell swoop. Nash remains as hot as he's ever been in spite of the fact that WWF hasn't booked him to win a pay per view match since way back in August. Hall had stagnated while Waltman is ice cold, but WCW feels they can easily be rehabilitated, and history has shown a fresh change of scenery almost always helps on that front. WCW is hoping to put Hall on TV before June with Nash soon following. Waltman isn't expected to start until a few months later due to contractual issues. I'm also hearing rumors of Waltman having vague "personal problems" which need to be addressed before he starts with WCW.

Sammy The Silk of the Samoan Gangsta Party has been fired for striking a fan during his Samoan Street Fight against Ahmed Johnson & Fatu last night. Big Matty Smalls had initially planned on walking out in solidarity with his partner before changing his mind after a conversation with his relatives Afa & Sika in which the Wild Samoans told him not to burn his bridges*. Smalls is at Raw tonight to honor his contractual obligation. I'm told that WWF has no plans going forward with him as a singles wrestler and Smalls doesn't really want to be there without his partner. So this is likely to be his last night with the company. The SGP had been slated for a program with The Godwinns. 

*Editor's Note: This display of loyalty would be rewarded when WWF brought Big Matty Smalls back as Rosey of Three Minute Warning some six years later. Sammy The Silk would never have another WWF run. 

Mike "Mantaur" Halac and his real life cousin Paul "PN News" Neu will be wrestling a dark match at tonight's Raw taping as a tag team called The Kingpins with the gimmick of being rogue bowlers who were banned from the Professional Bowling circuit for unruly behavior. If all goes well they are expected to take the Samoan Gangsta Party's place in feuding with The Godwinns. I can't say I am excited about that potential series of matches.

Ahmed Johnson was already generating a lot of backstage heat for his reckless wrestling style. That heat has intensified after concussing both Samoans last night. Many workers, as well as backstage agents, want Ahmed de-pushed, or even demoted back to USWA until he learns to work safer, but Vince is standing firm. He sees dollar signs in Ahmed and has him working primarily with Owen Hart, who is his most trusted in ring heel, on the house show circuit in the hope that Ahmed will learn on the job. British Bulldog, who is another trusted veteran hand on the heel side, sometimes joins Owen in tags against Ahmed and a revolving door of babyface partners.

WWF officials are justifiably concerned about a lack of star power at the top of the card. Bret Hart remains on hiatus with nobody, not even Owen, knowing when, or even if, he will return. Diesel, Razor, and Waltman have either finished up, or will be finishing up tonight. And Undertaker is scheduled for his seasonal break.

The main concern is who will oppose WWF Champion Shawn Michaels at the next few pay per views. WWF Officials are high on Vader and Goldust, along with Mankind to a lesser extent, but want to continue bringing them along relatively slowly in order to build them for big money matches against Michaels in the latter half of the year. Back around Wrestlemania season it was rumored that either The Ringmaster or Hunter Hearst Helmsley would be a getting big push to take on Michaels once his program with Diesel wrapped up. This no longer seems to be the case with Ringmaster coming off a loss to Savio Vega in his Caribbean Kid guise and Helmsley suffering back to back pay per view defeats to Warrior & Mero. There was a political struggle with Ross & Cornette lobbying hard for Ringmaster to get the spot while Michaels, who still has a lot of sway with Vince, hand picked his Clique buddy Helmsley as his major Spring rival. Now it's looking like both sides failed in their goal with Vince McMahon opting to go in a completely different direction. However, we can only speculate on just what exactly that direction is. My guess is Owen and/or Bulldog will be getting those title shots since they're reliable veteran hands who have been kept strong. They're also credible "B Show" pay per view challengers who both have history with Michaels. Yet I can't imagine either option exciting too many at this point since Michaels defeated Owen clean a few months ago on pay per view while Bulldog had a few world title programs late last year and hasn't had all that much interaction with HBK since early 1995.

The idea of Michaels working a program with another top babyface like Warrior and Ahmed is entirely out of the question at this point due to worries that the more traditional top WWF babyfaces would get cheered over the paranoid and ultra-protective Shawn Michaels. Undertaker is also out of the question. As we reported earlier, he'll be out of action for about a month and is scheduled to work a long program with Mankind when he does return.

The next few weeks are bound to be interesting with old stars departing and new stars desperately needing to be made....

Monday Night Raw 4/29/96

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}

*Show opens with Vince McMahon recapping the major events of In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies while photographs of last night's action flash across the screen.

*Cut backstage to the Bodydonnas locker room. Sunny is scantily clad in a cowgirl outfit. She's still scolding Skip & Dr. Tom for their recent lack of success. The Bodydonnas are on probation. Sunny is still managing them....for now. But she's also keeping her options open by looking elsewhere. "Please don't go!" whines Skip. "Start winning matches again and MAYBE I won't!" Sunny snaps back.

*Now we're in the New and Improved Rockers dressing room. They're watching footage of last night's show. More specifically the Goldust/Piper backstage confrontation where Goldust says "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Marty & Leif blurt out a simultaneous "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" High five connects. The Rockers don't seem all that concerned about defending their tag titles against the Smoking Gunns. That could be a mistake...

*JR then hypes tonight's card. We'll see Henry Godwinn vs. Big Matty Smalls of the Samoan Gangsta Party, Jake Roberts vs. Sean Waltman, The New and Improved Rockers putting their Tag Team Titles on the line against the Smoking Gunns, and Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Razor Ramon in our main event. 

1. Henry Godwinn w/ Phineas Godwinn vs. Big Matty Smalls

Big Matty Smalls is already in the ring when The Godwinns music hits. Phineas accompanies his cousin. Hillbilly Jim is conspicuous by his absence. JR informs us that he's busy elsewhere this evening doing promotional work for the company.

First minute and a half is all HOG with the commentary trio of JR, Vince & Lawler taking a dump on Sammy The Silk for "quitting" after the beating he suffered last night at the hands of Ahmed Johnson & Fatu. Then Sunny saunters out in her cowgirl outfit. She makes "come here" motions to PIG. The smitten Phineas obeys her command. HOG gets distracted and shouts at Phineas to come back. PIG does not obey. This allows Matty to get in some offense. Sunny whispers something to Phineas. He swoons. Matty misses an Avalanche and gets put down with a Slop Drop for the 1-2-3. HOG runs up the aisle to save his lovestruck cousin from the machinations of that Jezebel, Sunny. Sunny runs off but not before blowing one last kiss to the besotted PIG. HOG tries talking some sense into Phineas but it is clearly having no effect. PIG just stares off into the distance with a stupid smile on his face.

Smoking Gunns promo. They thank the WWF Universe for their support and then thank Commissioner Gorilla Monsoon for giving them their hard earned title shot so quickly. It's been a long time since they held the Tag Team Championship. They've been screwed, injured, and screwed again over the past year. But that all changes tonight. They're gonna wipe the floor with the dorky duo of Marty & Leif and win those belts back for all their fans. And if you ain't down with that, here's a quarter! Call someone who cares!

Back from break it's time for a Hunter Hearst Helmsley backstage promo. He's heard all the naysayers claiming he's overrated given his recent string of defeats to Ultimate Warrior & Marc Mero. Hunter dismisses them as common filth. He still has the utmost confidence in his abilities. In fact, so great is his confidence, that he'll put his money where his mouth is by adding a Loser Leaves WWF stipulation to his match with Razor Ramon tonight! Whoa! This is huge. Hunter even goes a step further by telling his lackey The Duke of Droese not to interfere. "I won't need you tonight." claims Helmsley. Bold as brass!

2. Jake Roberts vs. Sean Waltman

Sean Waltman is already in the ring when Jake's music hits. Crowd is all over Waltman with their standard "Crybaby" chants. Waltman actually controls most of the way. You don't see that much nowadays. We get some kicks, leg drops, and chinlocks from the man of many names. Razor Ramon cuts an inset promo wishing Jake luck before agreeing to Helmsley's Loser Leaves WWF stipulation. Whoa! Big news! Razor looks forward to beating up another pampered rich boy and tells a story about how he used to leave the Miami ghetto where he grew up to cruise around the wealthy neighborhoods looking for "preps" to beat up. OK, then. Waltman goes up top for a big Cannonball. Jake moves out of the way just in the nick of time. Knee lift. Short armed clothesline. DDT signal. DDT connects! The 1-2-3 is academic. Jake Roberts is your winner! Jake drapes his big snake, Revelations, on the carcass of Waltman.

We come back from break with Revelations gone and Waltman just now coming to his feet. He grabs the mic and rants at the WWF Universe about their lack of support. Then he feels sorry for himself about his recent run of bad luck before once again starting to cry. The "Crybaby" chants grow stronger as Waltman's temper tantrum reaches its apex. "I've had enough! I QUIT!" moans the not-so-lovable loser. Whoa! Now the happy crowd morphs into the "Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye" song as most of the company's mid & low card babyfaces, lead by longtime Waltman nemesis Savio Vega, run out to give him a going away present. The Good Guys put a giant diaper on Waltman while Savio shoves a baby bottle into his mouth. Yoko & Jake then wheel him up the aisle in a giant stroller. We're now backstage. They pass by Razor Ramon. The crowd buzzes at one last Razor/Kid moment. Razor speaks. "See you in At...." sound cuts out at this point but astute lip readers will know that Razor finished that sentence with "lanta, Kid." Sean Waltman has just quit the WWF after three years! And we're not done yet! Either Hunter Hearst Helmsley or Razor Ramon will soon be joining Waltman on the unemployment line following tonight's Loser Leaves WWF main event!

3. New and Improved Rockers (c) vs. Smoking Gunns- WWF Tag Team Championship Match

The Bodydonnas theme plays as Sunny struts out in her cowgirl outfit leaving little to the imagination. Turns out she will be joining the commentary team for our upcoming tag team title match. The Gunns are out next. Then the Rockers enter to We Are The Champions. They do a little bit of whining about having to defend their titles so soon after coming off "a grueling classic with The Godwinns just last night." Then we get the same "you didn't cheer loud enough so we're doing this again" re-entering shtick as last night. We are also once more treated to an informative graphic.....

The Original Rockers With Shawn Michaels- 0 Days as WWF Tag Team Champions
The New and Improved Rockers- 29 Days and counting as WWF Tag Team Champions

Let's recap the commentary while all this is going on.....

Vince, JR and especially Lawler welcome Sunny to the booth. Sunny sits down. Lawler wants her to sit closer to him. Sunny sits on his lap! Lawler squeals with delight.

JR- What's this about you ditching The Bodydonnas?
Sunny- I'm not ditching them. I'm just keeping my options open. Sunny never settles. I don't just WANT the tag titles back. I NEED them back!

JR- So you're a gold digger?
Sunny- No. I'm a winner. And I prefer being around other winners.
Lawler- I'm a winner!
Sunny- I know you are, King. *kiss*
*Lawler swoons
Vince- What's going on between you and Phineas Godwinn?
Sunny- That's between me and Phineas.
JR- I, for one, hope Henry and Hillbilly Jim give him a good talking to.
Vince- You're clearly using the poor guy.
Sunny- Sunny gets what Sunny wants. That's all I'm going to say about my relationship with Phineas.
*Gunns enter
Sunny- You know, I've always had a thing for cowboys.
JR/Vince/Lawler- Really?!?
Sunny- Of course. Sunny's Gunns has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
*Sunny gives Billy & Bart a provocative look. Both Gunns seem VERY interested.
Lawler- I can be a cowboy!
JR- Give it a rest, King.
Vince- I still can't get over the fact that you've gone cowgirl.
Sunny (shrugs)- Save a horse. Ride a cowboy.
*Lawler giggles
JR- Can you say that on TV?
*The New and Improved Rockers are out next
Lawler- What do you think about these two?
Sunny- Yuck! They're dorks. I don't date dorks. Plus I'm not sure they've hit puberty yet. Either that or they're on Team Goldust.
*Lawler cracks up
Vince (sounding legitimately upset)- Cut it out, you two!
JR- ...before you get us kicked off the air.

*Sunny then goes off on a tangent about mustaches and jeans. She's a fan of both. 

Leif- Hiya Sunny!
Marty- Take me down to Paradise City....
Leif- Where the grass is green in the girl is pretty
Sunny- Go away.
Marty- Stop playing hard to get.
Leif- I'll show you lovin' like you've never seen.
Sunny- Let me speak in a language you geeks will understand. Don't go away mad. Just go away.
Marty- The Crue!
Leif- Dream girl!

*New and Improved Rockers swoon

FINALLY both teams are in the ring. The bell rings. Billy & Marty start things off. Billy wants a test of strength. Marty kicks him in the dick! What a jerk! Referee Earl Hebner looks to Bart for confirmation of sorts. Bart shakes his head, not wanting to win on a DQ. Bart shouts at Marty. Then enters the ring. Marty dodges a big left cross. Then Leif kicks Bart in the nuts! What the hell! Earl Hebner now has no choice but to DQ The New Rockers. Gunns win in about 30 seconds due to disqualification. Howard Finkel enters the ring to read the official verdict. "Your winners by disqualification, The Smoking Gunns!" The Gunns are writhing around in pain on the mat. "However, because WWF Championships do not change hands by disqualification, the New and Improved Rockers are still your WWF Tag Team Champions." New Rockers botch a high five, throw up the horns, and Marty headbangs while Leif pats The Fink on the back.

JR- What a joke!
Vince- A real travesty of justice!
Lawler- That was hilarious! What's wrong, Sunny?
*Sunny has a disappointed look on her face as she sees the Gunns rolling around in pain. She flings her cowboy hat off in disgust.
Lawler- What happened to ride a cowboy?
Sunny- I'm no longer interested. (camera pans to Billy & Bart howling in pain as they grab their dicks)
Lawler (in a high pitched voice)- I wonder why?
*Even Sunny has had enough of "The King" at this point and she gives him the evil eye before leaving the announce booth.

We come back from commercial with more In Your House recapping. JR & Vince run down next week's Raw card. Piper's Pit returns with Goldust as a very special guest. Yokozuna will be in action against The Duke of Droese and Jerry Lawler promises to bring back a blast from the past to take on the Ultimate Warrior, who "The King" regularly bashes on commentary. 

Cut backstage to The New Rockers dressing room. They're in a celebratory mood as they mock the Gunns. Commissioner Gorilla Monsoon enters in a huff. He scolds Marty & Leif for thinking everything's a joke and for making a mockery of the once-prestigious Tag Team Championship. Well, playtime's over. He's The Commish and the New Rockers are about to be punished for what they just did to The Gunns. Monsoon turns to Leif. "You think you're better than Shawn Michaels, huh?  Well, next week you'll get an opportunity to prove just how good you are when you meet the WWF Champion one on one in a non-title match!" If Gorilla expected Leif & Marty to be upset he is sorely mistaken. Because it's like a switch was flipped. The New Rockers suddenly become deathly serious for the first time ever. "Excellent." replies Leif in a matter of fact sort of way. "Just what we've been waiting for." says Marty in an equally 'normal' manner. No high five is attempted. Nor is there any "rocking on." Monsoon leaves perplexed. 

4. Razor Ramon vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley- Loser Leaves WWF Match

This is a lengthy match to push the 'wrestling' aspect of the show, which had been very Sports Entertainment heavy up to this point. They shoot for a classic but neither man is really good enough to pull it off so it falls a bit short. Still in the *** though. Razor starts off fast and furious. Helmsley comes back with a back body drop after Razor attempts the Edge far too early. Helmsley controls in his usual rather dull manner. We go to commercial. When we come back Razor takes over by back body dropping his way out of a Pedigree attempt to show how 'even' these two are. Now it's a slugfest. Razor wins. Belly to belly superplex by "The Bad Guy." NO! Helmsley reverses, landing on top of Razor. 1-2-NO! Razor kicks out. Now HHH goes for a rare cross body block. Caught by Razor. Patented fallaway slam! Razor once again goes for the belly to back superplex. This time it connects! 1-2-NO! An undeterred Razor signals for the Edge. This time Helmsley counters by catapulting Razor into the turnbuckles. A woozy Razor stumbles backwards.....right into a rollup! 1-HHH hooks the tights-2-NO! Razor still powers out. A Helmsley irish whip is reversed by Razor, sending HHH hard into the buckles. He does a Flair Flip to the floor! The crowd cheers as we go into a second commercial break. We come back just in time for a double clothesline in the ring. Both men are down. Razor is up at 7. Helmsley gets to his feet at 9. Razor goes for yet another Edge. This time Razor even gets him up but Helmsley slips out of it for a backslide. 1-2-NO! Helmsley runs the ropes. Razor puts his head down looking for another back body drop. Helmsley sees it coming. Knee to face! Pedigree! Connects! 1-2-3! WOW! Hunter Hearst Helmsley has just upset the 4 Time Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon in a Loser Leaves WWF Match! Much of the crowd is in shock. Even Helmsley seems to be in disbelief. The Duke of Droese runs out to congratulate his master. A despondent Razor finally gets to his feet. HHH & Razor 'trash talk' when in reality it's HHH saying "Thank You" and Razor telling him to "Hold the fort down while I'm gone." The appreciative crowd chants "Thank You Razor" as yet another eventful episode of Raw concludes.....

Every day where there's an update to this thread by default cannot be a bad day for me... regardless of what kind of bullshit bombshells get dropped on me at work.

Solid episode of RAW, and enjoy the WON posts for added universe context. Love how you then address the WON-revealed non-kayfabe aspects on RAW. Ties together brilliantly, IMO. Overall, still loving all the same things I've been loving. I think my favorite aspects from this show were: the "Man of Many Names" as a nickname, even though it won't be used since Kid is adios; the ring of Sunny's Gunns; all the dick kicking and grabbing in the tag title match (-_-); and the NAIR's serious turn.

An idea re: the Godwinns that occurred to me while reading your RAW... and I'm posting this here because I don't know where else to post it, and but also because perhaps there's some slim chance it inspires a shout-out in a future RAW (if not an entire angle!?)... anyway, the Godwinns. Was it ever revealed what the "O" or "I" stand for? If not, I think they should stand for Othello and Iago. Middle names for two uncouth hog farmers inspired by Shakespeare characters feels like the type of silly inside joke Vince would get a chuckle out of. Hell, it could even sow the seeds for HHH to continue growing his Blue Blood Brood by converting heathen swine into gentlemen refined: Henry Othello Godwinn, Phineas Iago Godwinn, The Duke of Droese... maybe even one day Robert William Holly, Esquire as WWF's version of Earl Robert Eaton?

Anyway... I think I partly only get these silly ideas in my head because of how jazzed this rebooking gets me. Carry on!

Mar 6, 2019 23:14:52 GMT 🤯 said:

An idea re: the Godwinns that occurred to me while reading your RAW... and I'm posting this here because I don't know where else to post it, and but also because perhaps there's some slim chance it inspires a shout-out in a future RAW (if not an entire angle!?)... anyway, the Godwinns. Was it ever revealed what the "O" or "I" stand for? If not, I think they should stand for Othello and Iago. Middle names for two uncouth hog farmers inspired by Shakespeare characters feels like the type of silly inside joke Vince would get a chuckle out of. Hell, it could even sow the seeds for HHH to continue growing his Blue Blood Brood by converting heathen swine into gentlemen refined: Henry Othello Godwinn, Phineas Iago Godwinn, The Duke of Droese... maybe even one day Robert William Holly, Esquire as WWF's version of Earl Robert Eaton?

I like the way you think. This is just the sort of idea that will come to me at the oddest times- typically either at work, on one of my walks, or when I'm trying to go to sleep. 

I can't believe I actually remember this, but Henry's middle name was addressed at least once, though I can't remember if it was on TV or in WWF Magazine. Anyway, it was Orpheus, which still works for an 'aristocrat' gimmick. I also once saw somebody claim the I in PIG stood for Ichabod, but I personally do not remember this being mentioned either on TV or in WWF Magazine.

Something big is going down on the next Raw. It'll be up either tomorrow night or Friday morning/afternoon. You won't want to miss this one. As always, skip Nitro. 

*Superstars 5/4/96

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}

*I'm not writing Superstars out every week. Only reason I'm really doing it this time is because I forgot to mention a thing or two on Raw.

*Gorilla Monsoon is backstage with a furious Ringmaster & Ted Dibiase. They were screwed by Savio Vega at In Your House. Savio wasn't supposed to get any more Million Dollar Title shots but he pulled that Caribbean Kid ruse and to an unprepared Ringmaster. Dibiase DEMANDS the Million Dollar Championship be returned. Ringmaster doesn't seem to care much and rolls his eyes more than once at Dibiase's ranting. Though he's still clearly upset about......something. Monsoon grudgingly admits Dibiase has a point and will have a chat with Savio later in the show.

*Perfect, Vince & JR welcome us to the show, talk about recent events, and inform the audience of the stars they will be seeing in action this Saturday. 

*The Duke of Droese, Ahmed Johnson, Yoko, & Goldust all win squashes. Goldust wore a kilt over the lower part of his gold bodysuit and promised something very special for his upcoming Piper's Pit appearance on Raw.

*We hear promos at various times from....
Paul Bearer- You cannot kill his Undertaker. He is NOT dead. In fact, he will return very soon to extract his revenge. OH YES!
Mankind & Brother Love- They think 'Taker is gone for good this time but if he does return they'll finish the job they started at In Your House. Brother Love threatens Bearer by saying he'll get the same treatment Undertaker received if he sticks his nose in their business. Mankind seems weirdly taken aback by this threat. 
Jerry Lawler- He's sick and tired of Ultimate Warrior this and Ultimate Warrior that. The Warrior is NOT some kind of God. He's not even royalty! Nor is he a role model. And Monday night on Raw "The King" promises a BIG surprise for Warrior in the form of a returning superstar who has Lawler's back.
Warrior responds by shouting about how all Kings are eventually dethroned and no monarch has ever been deserving of losing his head than Jerry Lawler.
Camp Cornette basically just talking about how great they are and wanting to finish their business with Jake & Yoko so they can go back to winning championships.

Gorilla eventually meets up with Savio. The Commish is sorry but he has no choice other than to take the Million Dollar Championship away. Savio is upset about this. Monsoon tries calming him down. The belt will NOT be going back to The Ringmaster. After all, he DID lose. Instead the belt will be held up with one more match between the two at the next In Your House. Savio is ok with this.

5. New Rockers squash Matt & Jeff Hardy.

Original Rockers with Shawn Michaels- 0 Days as Tag Team Champions
New and Improved Rockers- 34 Days and counting as Tag Team Champions

The young lads allow the Tag Team Champions to experiment. The Rockers hit some innovative (but sloppy) double teams. Leif breaks out several fancy suplexes and bombs. Marty ends things with the extremely rare and extremely mind blowing top rope power bomb on poor Jeff.

Marty- You're next, Shawn
Leif- Round and round
Marty- What comes around goes around
Leif- Don't you forget it

6. Smoking Gunns defeat a new (albeit "already in the ring") tag team billed at 750 pounds(!) called The Kingpins. They're big, bald, bowlers who seem vaguely familiar. Was that a "moo" I heard from Kingpin #1? And why did Kingpin #2 say "Yo Baby Yo Baby Yo" like some kind of Rapmaster when he was briefly in control? This was a bad squash since the 'Pins were too big for the Gunns to do much to. 

Raw 5/6 Card

WWF Champion Shawn Michaels vs. Leif Cassidy- Non Title Match
Goldust will be on Piper's Pit
Yokozuna vs. The Duke of Droese
Ultimate Warrior vs. ?? (Jerry Lawler's Mystery Opponent)

Raw 5/6/96

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}

*JR & Vince are joined by Mr. Perfect on commentary this evening since Jerry Lawler will be busy getting his Mystery Man ready for the Warrior. They recap recent events and hype tonight's show while Hunter Hearst Helmsley's theme plays in the background. The Duke of Droese is already in the ring sans Helmsley when Yokozuna's music hits. 

1. Yokozuna vs. The Duke of Droese

3 minute uneventful pseudo squash. Yokozuna is just too big for The Duke. Yoko shrugs off Duke's shoulder blocks and laughs at his silly slam attempts. Yoko clubbers. Butt splash in the corner. Body slam. Big leg drop. BANZAI! 1-2-3. Yoko makes quick work of Helmsley's henchman.

*Gorilla Monsoon has called a meeting with Savio Vega, Ringmaster & Ted Dibiase over the status of the Million Dollar Championship. Dibiase still believes "his property" should be returned to The Ringmaster. Gorilla feels otherwise. After all, Ringmaster did lose fair and square. Dibiase says Ringmaster will only wrestle Savio if Savio agrees to be his servant if he loses. Much to his surprise Savio accepts. But now it's Vega's turn to make a deal. A bunch of wrestlers were forced to leave WWF just last week. So how about if Savio wins....Ringmaster butts in by saying Ted Dibiase will leave WWF. Gorilla, Savio & Dibiase are in shock. Savio quickly accepts. Dibiase stammers. Ringmaster reassures him. "I am your Million Dollar Champion, after all. What? Don't you trust me to get the job done?" So the match is set. At In Your House it'll be Ringmaster vs. Savio in a multiple stipulation match. The vacant Million Dollar Championship will be on the line. If Ringmaster wins, Savio must become Dibiase's servant. But if Savio wins "The Million Dollar Man" must leave WWF!

*Ultimate Warrior enters to a nice ovation. Lawler enters to equally loud booing. "The King" mentions King of the Ring is right around the corner and he declares himself the first entrant in "the tournament named after him." Then he bashes Warrior and the WWF Universe before finally getting down to business. Last year he recruited a Champion to aid him in his quest to rid the WWF of peasants. Things didn't go so well and the King's Champion disappeared for a while. You thought he was gone for good. Hah! Wrong! Lawler has been training him in Memphis to be even bigger, better, and badder than he was before. And now he's back just in time to help Lawler vanquish The Warrior and win King of the Ring. He is "The King's Champion" The Black Knight! Despite the Knight coming in at 6'9 300+ pounds Warrior seems more amused than frightened.

2. Ultimate Warrior vs. The Black Knight w/ Jerry Lawler

*For those who don't know/remember, The Black Knight is Brother Isaac Yankem/Fake Diesel/Kane/Glenn Jacobs.

Warrior wins an opening match slugfest. Knight rolls out of the ring for a conference with The King. Warrior soon follows. The Ultimate One chases Lawler around the ring until he runs into a Black Knight clothesline. Knight controls for a few minutes with Diesel moves, of all things, in an FU to the recently departed "Big Daddy Cool." We get a corner attack, big boot, Sidewalk Slam, Snake Eyes, and finally a big Jacknife. 1-NO! Warrior Warrior's Up! He no sells some clubbering. Camera cuts to a nervous Lawler. Running shoulder blocks and clotheslines by Warrior. He calls for it. No way. Yes way! Warrior gorilla presses the 6'9 320 pound Knight! Whoa! Knight SPLATS on the mat. Big splash. Warrior covers the Knight with one pinky. And that's all it takes! 1-2-3. Warrior is your winner! Lawler immediately attacks....to no effect. Warrior turns around. He growls. Lawler runs away. Warrior turns his attention back to the Knight, who is just now beginning to stir. Warrior sends a message to "The King" by unmasking his Knight! The Knight rolls out of the ring covering his face lest no one recognize him as Brother Isaac. Warrior throws the Knight's generic black mask into the crowd. Now Warrior grabs the mic. LAWLER! LET THIS BE A MESSAGE! YOUR KNIGHT LOST HIS MASK JUST AS YOU WILL SOON LOSE YOUR CROWN! JERRY LAWLER! YOU! ME! IN YOUR HOOOUUUSE! FEEL THE AWESOME POWAH OF THE WARYAAAAAH!!! Crowd cheers. Lawler is near tears. 

Editor's Note: Vince was very impressed/amused with The Black Knight's Diesel cosplaying. And it gave him an idea that will come to fruition a few months down the line....

*Gunns promo. They're not amused with what the New Rockers did to them last week and want a return bout for the titles in a No Disqualification Match. 

*Mr. Perfect hypes Goldust's appearance on Piper's Pit. JR & Vince are confused since both men claim Piper is not here but actually in Hollywood working on his latest movie. 

3. Goldust & Marlena visit "Piper's Pit"



Wow. I can't believe some of the things real life Goldust got away with in 1996. Skip ahead to about :25 (I don't know how to time stamp Dailymotion videos) and ignore Goldust calling him "President" Piper since that storyline got dropped a long time ago in this universe.

*The commentary trio is in shock. Roddy Piper calls in from the set of his latest movie to rant and rave about Goldust. "The Hot Rod" wants a fight with the Intercontinental Champion at the next In Your House. Commissioner Gorilla Monsoon makes it official later in the show. Piper also says he's returning in two weeks to confront Goldust AND settle some old scores.

*Commentary trio hypes next week's episode where the undefeated Ahmed Johnson will be taking on Bradshaw, Camp Cornette will be in 6 Man Tag Team action, Hunter Hearst Helmsley will do battle with Savio Vega, and our main event will see The Ringmaster lock horns with Marc Mero. Sounds like another must see show to me. Sucks to be Nitro!

*New and Improved Rockers interview. This is it. The big one. What they've been waiting for. They're all business for once. The only thing remotely Rockerish is Leif claiming this is Shawn's Final Countdown. No high fives. No talk about "rocking" or "chicks."

*Shawn Michaels interview w/ Pettengill. No, he's not taking The New Rockers seriously. Leif is dumber than a box of rocks and Marty has went off the deep end. He's consumed by jealousy and can't let go of the past. They're a bad joke trying to make a name for themselves at his expense. Tonight he's gonna prove once and for all who carried The Rockers. Good grief! He can't even believe he needs to prove it. I mean, everybody knows he carried Jannetty. The proof is right here in this WWF Championship belt. Shawn just slayed a giant and beat the so-called best there is, was, and ever will be. You think he's worried about a couple of dorks? Come on, man. The Clique has his back. It's show time!

4. WWF Champion Shawn Michaels vs. Tag Team Champion Leif Cassidy w/ Marty Jannetty- Non-Title Match

The New and Improved Rockers are out first to We Are The Champions. No double entrance this time around. Now they seem to be embracing the boos. Though we still do get...

The Rockers with Shawn Michaels- 0 Days as WWF Tag Team Champions
The New and Improved Rockers- 36 Days and counting as WWF Tag Team Champions

Marty is carrying a brown sack. As they pass the commentary booth JR asks "what's in the bag?" Leif snappily responds with "A box of rocks." Both Rockers glare at JR with malice. Something about their demeanor tells Ross not press the issue any further. They Rockers are all business tonight.

WWF Champion Shaaaaaaawn Michaels (TM Vince McMahon) is out next to his usual big ovation. Unlike The New Rockers, Shawn is in a playful mood. He takes his time parading around slapping hands with the members of his cheering "Clique" and stops by the commentary booth to give Vince & JR high fives. He even teases one with Perfect before pulling away in mid-Perfect slap to fix his hair like a jerk. Marty & Leif are in the ring discussing strategy this entire time.

Finally the match begins. Michaels spends the first five minutes clowning on Cassidy while yukking it to the amusement of Vince on commentary and his Clique. Leif, to his credit, stays focused. He doesn't throw any temper tantrums. Sometimes he'll consult with Marty (still holding the mysterious brown bag) in the corner. Shawn's lack of focus proves to be his downfall when Leif lands on his feet after an HBK back body drop. Shawn, thinking Leif is down and out, starts prancing around and playing to his Clique. When Leif sneaks up from behind with only the 2nd known Dragon Suplex in WWF history. Leif spends the next 5 minutes breaking out every state of the art move he can think of- fancy bridging and head dropping suplexes, a variety of innovative bombs, fancy kicks, sitout everything, and some flips off the ropes. Michaels hubris has got the better of him. The champ finds himself in the unexpected position of just hanging on with no fewer than a half-dozen kickouts at 2.5 or beyond. Leif goes for an inside out springboard Asai Moonsault. Michaels rolls out of the way just in the nick of time. Both men are down. Leif is up. Kip up by Michaels! Crowd comes alive. Slugfest! Marty shouts encouragement but it is all for naught as Shawn wins the slugfest. Irish whip. Duck. Leapfrog. Big flying forearm from Michaels connects! Another kip up! Michaels is Hulking Up! Atomic Drop. Bodyslam. Flying elbow drop. HBK tunes up the band. Sweet! Chin! BAM!

An interfering Marty just clocked HBK with a superkick outta nowhere (think HHH vs. Rock w/ HBK as ref from the first episode of Smackdown). The crowd instantly goes from 10 to 0. Then the boos rain down. Michaels is out cold. "You know what to do" says Marty to Leif. Leif grabs the mysterious brown bag. He empties its contents to reveal.....a pane of glass? 

JR- Oh my god.....
Vince- It can't be....
JR- I think it is....
Vince- You're right. I see the 'O'
JR- And there's the 'P'
Vince- Are you telling me...?
JR- I think Marty has been planning this for over 4 years.....

That pane of glass is from the very Barbershop Window Michaels infamously threw Jannetty through over four years ago! My god! Can you imagine Marty Jannetty just sitting around looking at that pane of glass every single day for four years....thinking....plotting....letting the hate grow....and now his plan has come to fruition. Leif holds the pane of glass. No! NO!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! The man has a history of concussion issues, dammit! DON'T DO IT!!!

But the deed is done. Marty Jannetty throws Shawn Michaels headfirst into a pane of glass from the Barbershop Window held by Leif Cassidy. CRASH! The crowd gasps. Women and children cry. Michaels is busted open. The crimson flows. Officials try to intervene. The New and Improved Rockers greet them by inventing The Superkick Party. Backstage we see Camp Cornette gloating outside the babyface dressing room. Lots of pounding is heard but the Good Guys can do nothing about it because Camp Cornette has locked them in by parking a mountain of pallets by their dressing room door. We severely underrated the New Rockers. We thought they were a joke when they won the Tag Titles at Wrestlemania in an upset. Our opinion did not change after weeks of dorky interviews and shady defenses. We just KNEW The Godwinns and then The Gunns would regain the titles as soon as they had a shot. Yet by hook or by crook The New Rockers prevailed. We dismissed it at dumb luck, emphasis on the 'dumb.' And now THIS! Have they played us all for fools? Was this Beavis & Butthead thing an act the entire time? In reality is it us, not them, who are Dumb & Dumber? Was this always the end game? Did Marty plan this for four long and torturous years? Who knows? All we do know is the damage has been done. After heroically battling back from a series of concussions Shawn Michaels has just been sent head first through a pane of glass. The future of the WWF Championship and even Shawn Michaels himself is now up in the air. The blood continues to flow as medics strap Michaels onto a stretcher. An irate Commissioner Monsoon comes out to attend to Michaels and read The Rockers the riot act. Even Mr. Perfect on commentary condemns their heinous actions. The New Rockers are smiling now but it's not their usual goofy grinning. This is more like a sadistic smirk.....

Marty (to Shawn)- Welcome to the jungle
Leif- You're gonna DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

/End Show

Oh, fuck...

LOVE this spin on the New Rockers.

Almost feel like they need their own new name/brand identity now that Marty seems to be one over on Shawn. But I love the rock lyric quoting, so feel like the new name still needs to be rock related. Too bad the Headbangers tainted that name the following year in real life, because it would've literally fit perfectly after this segment.

And the idea of a five man faction joining Camp Cornette with these Rockers has me very excited.

I assume based on that WON talking about lack of top talent to feed to Shawn, maybe Marty is getting one of Bulldog's real life title shots? Count me so far in.

Superstars 5/11/96

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}*Show begins without the iconic Hank Williams Jr. knockoff theme. Instead we black & white footage chronicling the history of The Rockers. We see them riding high. Then the infamous Barbershop Window incident. Then Shawn winning title after title interspersed with Marty losing match after match. Until it ends with The New and Improved Rockers heinous attack on Shawn Michaels this past Monday night. The video is accompanied by the following Marty Jannetty voiceover....

I've been the beggar
I've played the thief
I was the dog
They all tried to beat

But it's been
Four years of silence
It's been
Four years of pain
It's been
Four years that are gone forever
And I'll never have again

Bullcrap and contemplation
Gossip's your trade
If they knew half the real truth
What would they say?

Well I'm past the point of concern
It's time to play
These last four years of madness
Sure put me straight

You don't get back four years
In just one day.....

*A somber Gorilla Monsoon delivers a message from his office. The good news is Shawn Michaels passed all the concussion tests this time around. The bad news is he had to get 37 stitches to close the gaping wound in his forehead and doctors have advised him to stay out of the ring for three weeks. A fired up Gorilla then sets out to pass judgment on The New and Improved Rockers. Both men are fined an unprecedented $50,000. They are also suspended for one month. Which means they can kiss those Tag Titles goodbye. A tournament will be held starting Mond....A knock is heard. A grumpy Monsoon opens the door. Oh brother! It's that ambulance chasing lawyer Clarence Mason followed by Jim Cornette and the New Rockers. 

Mason- Upon the recommendation of my good friend Mr. Jim Cornette, The New Rockers, which is to say, Mr. Marty Jannetty and Mr. Leif Cassidy, have retained my services as their personal attorney. And not a moment too soon! This verdict of yours is appalling, atrocious, abominable, abhorrent, and wrong! Abuse of power! What gives you the right to suspend my clients and strip them of their hard earned WWF Tag Team Championship? 

Gorilla- What gives ME the right?!? Why you sniveling little...

Mason- Answer my question. If you would have read Article 37: Section 9; Paragraph 11 of the 1965 WWWF Rulebook it clearly states that "No presiding body has without the authority of the express written consent of.....

Gorilla- GET OUT! Before I stuff that rulebook up your....*Mason and crew leave. Gorilla sighs. He picks up the phone and dials. "I'd like to speak with Mr. McDevitt. Hello, Jerry. I've got a problem...."

-Camp Cornette
-Marc Mero
-The Ringmaster
-Savio Vega
-And the tag team of Aldo Montoya & Bob Holly.....
All win squash matches.
More Raw recaps, In Your House hype, and promos are interspersed between the matches.
Mr. Perfect on commentary breaks the news that Mason & Monsoon will have a meeting before Superstars goes off the air.
Main event sees Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw hand Barry Horowitz his 49th straight loss.

*Gorilla Monsoon meets with Clarence Mason. Much to Gorilla's chagrin, he is unable to suspend The Rockers for 30 days or strip them of the Tag Team Championship. And the fines have been reduced from $50k apiece to a mere $25,000 total. BUT he did find a legal loophole through Jerry McDevitt to suspend Leif Cassidy from in ring competition without pay for the next 15 days. Gorilla has also been on the phone with Shawn Michaels. Against Gorilla's wishes, HBK has DEMANDED a match with Marty Jannetty at the next In Your House, which will be titled Good Friends, Bitter Enemies, and will take place just within that three week window where Shawn's health is particularly vulnerable. Meaning HBK will not be at 100%. Mr. Mason is pleased with all of this news. He goes to shake Gorilla's hand. Gorilla straight up refuses and once again implores Mr. Mason to leave the premises in an ungentlemanly manner.

Raw 5/13

Ahmed Johnson vs. Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw
Savio Vega vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya/Barry Horowitz vs. Camp Cornette
Marc Mero vs. The Ringmaster

In Your House: Good Friends, Bitter Enemies

Ultimate Warrior vs. Jerry Lawler
Intercontinental Champion Goldust vs. Roddy Piper
Savio Vega vs. Ringmaster- For the vacant Million Dollar Championship. If Vega loses, he becomes Dibiase's servant. If Ringmaster loses, Dibiase must leave WWF.
WWF Champion Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty