Since I'm hitting 'middle age' I've been asking myself this more and more.  Today, a girl who I was best friends with in elementary and junior high posted pictures of herself at the Oscars on Facebook and sent me a message reminding me she told me in Grade 6 'that she would be an actress and one day she would go'.   I of course was happy for her.  She IS an actress.  Nothing terribly noteworthy of course.  A bit part in Josie & the Pussycats, a few lesser known Showcase series', but she IS an actress, living in LA, friends with Drew Barrymore, living the life she said she would be.  It's awesome.

It made me ask myself, am I where I thought I'd be?  I thought I'd be a published author, married happily with kids by now.  Certainly not single, living with my mom, working like a dog at a J-O-B.  I don't hate my life.  I have amazing friends, I travel here and there, my mom is my best friend and my daughter is the best kid anyone could ask for.  It's just not where I thought I'd be.

I think about people like iNCY who seem to be living their best life.  Sure, with lots of drive and hard work, but he's in peak physical shape, married to a lovely woman with a lovely family and working for himself. 

So I ask you, are you where you thought you would be or where you want to be or are you in process of it?

Nice thread iron maiden ,

I think your view of my life is not quite accurate, but flattering.
My wife often quotes the line "Our strengths are our weaknesses that we will be damned if we let anyone see" I think that is incredibly true.

Yesterday my youngest daughter was sick and throwing up, today my eldest has her first parent teacher interview at school. Where am I? In the south of China on business.
So we can all post our "Instagram" lives and on this trip I could post photos of my Business Class flight (Bought economy and upgraded on points) my 5 star hotel or the business dinners. It's not really about that, it is when the lights go off and you are alone with yourself, are you where you are supposed to be... I am not.
For me I admire lots of people here:
you iron maiden, for your passion, kindness and the way you pursue your passions and you don't really care what anyone thinks
mikec , I admire for pursuing his passion of helping people with his career and he has a great wife and a beautiful child. He has a great taste in music and is even tempered.
RT , is also a great family man keeping the passion aloie with his wife while being a great Dad, he is genuinely likable, something I have never mastered. I could go on...

I never had any goals or passion, I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian home and denied medical care for the siezures I started having at the age of 6. Eventually I got diagnosed and medicated at 13 but spent my childhood being ashamed and trying to hide my affliction.
My co-ordination has always been terrible and my handwriting in school was messy and slow, I only had 2 or 3 teachers in my entire education who realised the was more to me than what I could scrawl on the page.
My Dad pressured me my whole life to do a trade, so I did... but as someone with poor co-ordination it probably wasn't the best idea and my boss wa mentally and physically abusive. My dad gaslighted me my whole life, but he didn't know any better.


I didn't plan this life, I just jumped on every opportunity that came along and the older I get the more sure I am of one thing...
Nobody can have it all, everything comes at a cost and to succeed in one area is to lag in another, if I had my time again I would choose a different life, but I don't know what one.

It's all a bit late to be filled with regret, so I just want to be a better man, rather than the bad tempered sarcastic grumpy bastard I am today. 

I've traveled quite a bit overseas over the last 6 years, something a much younger nath45 would have never thought he'd do. That makes me happy.

At this point, I just want to live life. I've spent too long chasing career, and while I'm in a good position, I'm happy if I never advance further. As time and work/life balance now is more important than any countless, unproductive hour or chasing another brass ring.

I have fuck off money, if I want to fuck off and doing something else - I can. I'm in a great financial position, that I don't feel in debt to the company I work for. I love this. That, and I also don't need to be this workaholic, absent father ( Our first child is due in September! ) A better life isn't going to be dependent on a promotion that may never come, or any hopes and dreams that aren't realistic. It's already good.

My sister had a little boy a few years ago, and my sister-in-law is also pregnant. Our lives are changing, in a good way. We also have a house, a big backyard, two cats I tolerate and a black Labrador I really like.

Three years ago, I would have answered it completely different. But right now, yeah, I think I am where I want to be.

All-in-all ... yeah. I make more money than I thought I would at this age; I have a beautiful wife; I have two beautiful kids; and I'm seen as an expert within my industry. I managed to outperform expectations from some very negative people in my teen years (teachers and my own parents).

And yet ... I'm not satisfied. I'm growing more interested in the FIRE financial movement, and I'm trying to figure out more autonomy in my time and efforts to put extra coin (and freedom) in my own pocket.

I think never feeling like you’re doing good enough for your parents makes you push harder in life. Same applies to me.

I’m in a career that I am so over right now, but can’t really move out of it with a 7 month old in my life now. I’m trying every day to right my wrongs in life as I lived in a drug fueled fog through my teens and 20s. I have everything I could ever wish for, but can’t seem to find that self happiness. I don’t know if I have a mental disease, if drugs did it to my brain, but I find myself down a lot more then I should’ve. I keep verbalizing all the good I have in my life but a part of me misses the irresponsible life I used to have where I stopped caring what people think about me.

Am I where I want to be in life? Yes. But I can’t get my head on straight yet and push myself to being satisfied. I spent way too much mental time trying to make others happy that I forgot how to make myself happy.

Great thread. Allow me to reply.

When I was wrapping up my PhD a few years ago I was full of ambition and probably unrealistic dreams. I was seriously considering moving to Japan. Not permanently, but maybe some kind of 12-18 month work programme. If not that, then move to Europe, or Oxford. Somewhere nice. Then I moved back with my parents and started job hunting. Over time my ambition faded, and with it the area of my job search reduced drastically until I was only considering local roles.

My current situation: still living with parents, working in a nice town in the countryside. Been at my job for just over 2 months, and I love everything about it. I'm not at all embarrassed or ashamed at being nearly 30 and still living with my parents. Although I contribute some money towards household expenses I can still save an awful lot. I like hanging around with my direct family (parents and brother) more than I do a lot of people. My main passion is chess and I get to play a lot in my local area, and I'm improving a lot. Am I where I want to be? Well, I'm not living in Japan or Europe, which is perhaps where I wanted to be a few years ago, but I hardly consider that a disappointment or regret. I've been able to travel quite a lot in the last five years, mainly visiting online friends I have in Europe and the USA.

The only real thing missing in my life is a life partner. Romance has evaded me my entire life, but I've started online dating recently. We'll see how that goes. In general, I'm very happy where I am for the time being, although it's not how I want to life the rest of my life. Time will tell if I am where I want to be five years down the line.

I have to say yes. I have a son, a wife, a house, and still am a social worker albeit behind the scenes, and no longer do the front line child welfare role that I started in. I'm very satisfied. I need to get in better shape because I stopped playing sports when my son was born. Different priorities now, but I spend about 4 hours a day with him by flexing my work schedule and picking up him up from daycare super early. No other of my friends spend the amount of time with their children that I do with mine. Like I said, different priorities. No real regrets. I wish I had a better relationship with my parents but that's on them for not reciprocating. I can feel satisfied that I put so much more effort, time, and love into it than they have.