*Started writing this in the NWA Powerrr Party Thread. Decided it deserved a thread of its own.

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. The past couple days have been rough. Friday and Saturday will be rougher still with the viewing and funeral. Messages of condolence have been blowing up my phone. 291 people have expressed an interest in paying their respects on the funeral home's website. My brother touched a lot of lives over the years.

PW has been my home away from home for over 7 years(!) now. I felt like hopping on tonight to write about some wrestling in the hope of getting my mind off other things. Turns out that was a futile endeavor. My thoughts have already drifted back to my dearly departed brother.....

So I'm gonna co-opt my own thread to ramble a little bit......

A big part of me wishes I had let him in on my little online wrestling secret. Yet, taking cues from the immortal George Costanza, I never wanted my worlds to collide. Besides, he might have contradicted one of my stories. And I couldn't have that. Plus his oddball opinions (even weirder than mine!) would have likely thrown every single PW countdown into chaos.

He had been troubled for a long time. The past 5 years were not good for him. The lad had his demons. It was hard seeing his life slowly deteriorate one day at a time and feeling powerless to do anything about it. He was very stubborn and could be extremely difficult. You had to approach him in a certain way to even have a chance of getting through to him. Not to toot my own horn, but I was pretty good at this. My parents never got it. Few others even tried. Truth be told, we all saw this coming. He said himself "I won't live to see 40." I honestly believe he wanted out of this world. We don't know the cause of death yet. An autopsy was performed in accordance with the law, as this was considered a "suspicious death" due to his age and history, but we won't have the results for weeks. And I'm not sure I'd share those results here anyway. 

Long story short, he lost his well-paying job and house in early 2014. He then split time with me and my mom from Spring 2014 to December 2016. Then, following a series of scares and hospital trips, he entered into a rehab facility, and ended up 90 miles away in Hagerstown, MD to "get away" and (hopefully) get clean in early 2017. He (allegedly) did get clean with the exception of a handful of admitted alcohol slip ups. He was doing better......for a while. Then a few other tangibly related things occurred, the culmination of which was him getting laid off from another job early this year. He came back to my general vicinity in May to live with my father. Think the only time I ever mentioned ANY of this on PW was in a PM to my man Nobi not long after he lost his sister.

My brother and I were super close growing up. To once again quote the mighty Meat Loaf, "we were close as any brothers that you ever knew." We did just about everything together despite an age difference of a few years. We were always playing sports and video games, or watching our favorite shows and movies together. Both of us were also blessed (cursed?) with overactive imaginations. So we'd often make up our own games. It didn't take much to trigger either one of us into an idea. Another big thing we did growing up was invent these "quests" with our stuffed animals (don't judge us!). We shared many of the same friends and interests. He was younger than me, and infinitely "cooler." My older friends loved him, and his younger friends bonded with me to the point that his closest friends also became my closest friends during the mid-late 90s.

Alas, we drifted apart in our late teens/early 20s. We had new friends and new interests. In all honesty, we had grown into two very different people.

We watched different contemporary shows (stuff like The Simpsons, Seinfeld, and the cartoons we grew up on were, of course, timeless). We read different books. He remained a movie buff. I did not. I was a rock/metal fan. He was a hip hop enthusiast to the point where he knew as much, or more, about 80s & 90s hip hop as I do about my beloved 80s-00s wrestling. He loved his drinking and unfortunately got big into drugs. I've always been more of a moderate drinker (with the exception of two phases in 00-01 and late 04-06) and only smoked weed a few times in my life, the last of those times being 12 or 13 years ago. He was a gifted & talented student who excelled in 4(!) sports, 3 of which he starred at in high school. I was also a GT/Honors student, but my grades were a notch below his due to laziness rather than a lack of ability, and I was only an average athlete. He graduated college with honors. I conked out after graduating community college, albeit also with honors. He had a great job with even better future prospects during the 2000s-early 2010s while I was aimlessly drifting through life from one dead end job to another. Then the roles became somewhat reversed in recent years as my situation stabilized and his deteriorated. He was more of an extrovert, whereas I am still a loner by nature, even if I do "fake it" better than I did growing up. He always remained a big sports guy, both as a participant and a spectator. While I rarely played any sports beyond age 20, save for an ill-fated softball and touch football career he recruited me into about a decade ago. I also stopped following all sports within the past 3-5 years while he still loved his Ravens, etc. I'm far more laid back and diplomatic. He was a hothead always ready to go off at the slightest provocation.

Yet despite all these difference, we rarely quarreled, or ever had a serious argument. And if we did, it never lasted more than a few days. We may not have been as close as we had once been, but we still retained our fabulous chemistry when we did get together.

Big Pete was right in that other thread. We bonded over wrestling (again) during the past few years. He was a childhood fan (Hulkamaniac) from 87-91 and came back in a big way during 95-96 when wresting exploded in my neighborhood. Not coincidentally, this is my favorite period in wrestling history. We truly lived, eat, breathed, and slept wrestling during this time. The Apter Mags were our bible. We rented a wrestling tape or three every weekend. Of course, we had our beloved action figure leagues. Not to mention Superstars, Raw, and (WWF) Pay Per Views. He may have been even more anti-WCW than I was. WWF was his team, and Ahmed Johnson his latest hero. Of course he, like the rest our little neighborhood clique, respected Funk/Lawler/Flair (in that order in his case) as the Holy Trinity of professional wrestling. To besmirch any of these Wrestling Gods was just asking to get Flair Chopped by the rest of our little group. But he drifted away from wrestling again in 97-98 (though still keeping up with his action figure league) and I'm not sure he watched a single wrestling related thing until like 2014....

Where he got into it again via the magic of Youtube. He's honestly watched more wrestling stuff than I have over the past 5 years or so. It was neat to see him not only unexpectedly become a wrestling fan again, but find gems (mostly promos) that even I hadn't seen (or didn't remember). He loved shoot interviews and 80s-early 90s WWF. He also went through a modern WWE phase a few years back with Rusev, Neville, Cesaro, Cena, and Reigns as some of his main guys. It was so cool to see him get into ECW, SMW, Etc. while also gaining a late in life appreciation for Baker Guys such as Lord Steven Regal, Jacques Rougeau, PCO, The New Breed, and Jim Cornette. Even now I smile at the thought of him frantically texting me late at night to watch some Hansen or Dynamite/Tiger Mask match from Japan. All of this would have been unthinkable from like 1998-2013.

Since this is started in an NWA Powerrr thread I'll bring it back on topic by mentioning my desire to get him to watch the show. It was perhaps my last (wrestling related) crusade as far as he is concerned. Alas, he never did get around to watching, and I'm not sure he would have liked it anyway given his distaste for the "bush league" studio shows presented by classic NWA and Memphis.

Two weekends ago he had an incident that foreshadowed what was to come. My dad called me just as I was leaving work. He found my brother blue in the face with labored breathing. My father dialed 911 and gave my brother CPR as the 911 dispatcher ordered. That saved his life. This was two Saturdays ago.

My brother was unconscious for two days in the hospital with only a breathing tube to keep him alive. Other tubes were hooked up to him for various reasons. It was an unpleasant sight. It turns out he had aspirated, which means vomit went into his lungs. He came out of this state two Mondays ago. My mom and I went to the hospital asap. He was indeed awake, but "out of it." His voice was reduced to a quiet whisper he used to repeat the same handful of statements, most notably "When can I leave?" or "I want to go home." 

Against the advice of literally everybody, he signed out of the hospital the following day. This would be two Tuesdays ago. I wasn't there, but my brother had to sign a bunch of waivers and stuff according to my dad for legal purposes. 

My father had to go out either later that day or the next day (I forget which). A round of phone calls was made and I ended up going there to watch my brother for 6 hours, mainly just to monitor his breathing.

And finally NWA Powerrr enters into the story!

If he was "with it," I was going to introduce him to the rasslin' show I had been hyping up to him for a week. But he beat me to the punch. He had an episode of Raw ready to go on his phone that he said I simply HAD to watch. It was from February 1993. Tatanka defeated Damien Demento. The Money Inc/Beefcake angle commenced. Yokozuna squashed a jobber. Big Vito was also there in the role of a jobber. Doink defeated Typhoon. And finally came the segment I HAD to see. It was the awesome perfect segment where Mr. Perfect threw a football to himself while Minnesota Vikings Pro Bowl Tight End Steve Jordan mouths a "WOW." Definitely a GOAT level vignette beloved by both of us (and hopefully every other wrestling fan in the world). Fwiw Mr. Perfect is a Top 10 fave of both of us, and will enter into this story one last time at the end.

We then went downstairs where he set his phone to one of those "OMG COOLEST MOVEZ" playlists and went in and out of consciousness while I literally sat there monitoring his breathing for 6 long, painful hours. When he woke up at brief intervals he would mumble jibberish before having a normal conversation for like a minute or two. Then pass out again. He was on a lot of medication.

He was very quiet over the next few days before paying an unannounced visit on Monday morning. This was very unlike him. Visiting wasn't all that rare, but an unannounced visit was. Oh, he had just gotten his license back, and my dad was loaning him a vehicle ostensibly just for work. He wasn't "supposed" to be visiting me on this day. My work schedule is odd. I may be working any day of the week, including Sunday. I go in at 5 a.m. and leave at different times depending on the day. So there was only a slim chance I would even be home that day. But I was! And he was so much better! 100% improvement from the last time I saw him. He was in a great mood, talking with a normal voice and laughing. It turns out he even had a lengthy conversation with my neighbor before surprising me with this unexpected visit. 

We also talked and texted that night. He remained in high spirits. Before telling me he had to go to sleep since he had to be up early for work the next morning. Oh, he just started a new job a few weeks back. It was on the Thursday before he was rushed to the hospital. So he had been working for the first time in months......for 2 whole days before another health crisis reared its ugly head. His breathing issues had caused pneumonia. He had a doctor's appointment the next day (Tuesday).

That very Tuesday my dad called to say he had found my brother dead. I won't go into the grisly details. Needless to say, it was devastating.

So tomorrow is the viewing and Saturday the funeral. It's going to be rough. Keeping it wrestling related, I intend to put our old action figure of his childhood hero Hulk Hogan into his casket (along with some other non-wrestling things). I also intend to play Mr. Perfect's theme on my phone when I see him before the crowds arrive. That theme being a mutual favorite. Before I leave and futilely try to get some sleep I will share his all time favorite promo. I swear he watched this as much as his all time favorite movie, Big Trouble In Little China, over the past few years.




Rest In Peace Greg. Already missing you. I'll never forget the good times we had together.

Hi Baker, that was a touching account of your brother as a person and my eyes were not dry by the end of it.
My deepest sympathies and condolences are with you in this really dark time.

All I can tell you is that the hurt will not always be as raw as it is today and in time the good memories will shine through.
I am sure you have a world full of supportive people, but if you ever need anything, hit me up.
Rest in peace Greg.

RIP to your brother.

My thought and prayers are with you through this heartbreaking time.

I'm very sorry for your and your family's loss. Thank you for sharing those wonderful memories with us. Through them your brother lives on.

I’m sorry for your loss Baker, having lost a sibling myself (ten years ago last month) I know what you’re going through. We didn’t share a love for wrestling like you and your brother did, but my sister and I were still very close and she was like a second mom to me.

You have my condolences through this difficult time.

Thank you, everyone. Sorry for your loss, Jason

Viewing was yesterday and the funeral today. Both days I got to be alone with him before everybody else arrived. I needed that. Even if it did involve "kicking out" my parents and an aunt and uncle. They did not mind. That's when I let it all out. Yesterday I played Mr. Perfect's theme on my phone at the casket when it was just the two of us. I think he would have wanted that.

I composed myself in front of the (big!) crowds to the point where I can't help wondering if the other attendees thought I might be callous. In many cases, I, the brother, was the one comforting random relatives and half-forgotten friends from bygone days. The truth is, I'm just not very good in big crowds. Like I have a public persona and a private persona. Anyway, tragic as the situation no doubt is, it was nice to see a lot of those people again- Relatives I barely see nowadays. Friends we grew up that I hadn't seen in years. Even a few folks I hadn't seen in over 25 years. That was nice. Everybody else was great. I really am going to try doing a better job of keeping in touch this time around. I'm even going to join Facebook! and the 21st Century along with it, in my quest to do a better job of keeping in touch with people.

I gave a speech at the cemetery. It was well received, though I forgot at least half of what I intended to talk about. I managed to hold it together throughout said speech. I mentioned his childhood love of wrestling, and talked about putting a figure of his childhood hero, Hulk Hogan, into the casket. This was only a very, very small portion of my speech, but as this is a wrestling forum I figured I'd mention it.

I've spent much of the past few days thinking of all the good times we had together growing up (and boy did we have some adventures!) and occasionally beating myself up over the fact that I could/should have done more in later years when he was struggling. It's true. It's true.

He's gone but will never, ever be forgotten. Hell, I even plan on getting my first (and likely last) tattoo to honor him. Then I'll only need about 57 more to catch him!

Yet I must carry on with my own life. And a part of that is regularly scheduled PW posting. So more bad jokes only I find funny and stories about Ludvig Borga will surely be right around the corner.

RIP one last time Greg. You will forever be missed.

Oh Bakerman. My heart breaks for you, my man. Been reading tales of you and your brother for your whole ride here, felt like I've grown up a bit with you two. It sucks, it will always suck, but you'll get through it because you got no other choice. Stay strong, like ICOPRO strong, my dude.

Baker-man, I can't really find the right words, not that there ever are such things. I'm terrible with handling my own grief, and equally bad at offering condolences and comfort to others. So apologies if my best shot here lands way off the mark...

Your posts in this dedicated thread have filled my heart with a mix of sadness and joy. On your behalf, as well as just my own. Your way with words paints such a touching and vivid picture because of how much it resonates. Even temporally and geographically.

My little sister went through some similar-sounding struggles, to the point where I was actively bracing to get the news one one wants to get. I struggled with guilt and feeling like I should've maybe gone back to the DC area to help see if there was anything I could've done to help. Fortunately, she seems to have turned things around and conquered her demons (to steal a wrestling euphemism) but you never know if/when those bastards will rear their ugly heads. It's hard not to feel like we could or should be doing something more in the moment to help, and looking back after something terrible has happened is always tough... Hindsight bias and our revisionist historian tendencies can be sons of bitches when it comes to letting ourselves move on.

For all the sadness that surrounded your brother's situation, I loved reading every happy memory of the time you and he did get to share together. Even in the seemingly random minutiae, so much joy seemed to pour out from the memories behind those words. I cherish the image of your brother that you've built in my head via a pro wrestling board across countless posts and anecdotes. He (and you) seem like the good people I would've felt lucky to run with if either I had been born a few years earlier or you dirty Marylanders had been from the correct side of the Potomac. I'm thankful I got to sorta know your bro via proxy thanks to you, and still have you thanks to PW.

This is surely a hard time and maybe bound to get harder, as the grieving process can be an unpredictable and tumultuous deal. But glad you recognize PW as a home away from home of sorts. A distraction from the real world, or an outlet to vent about the real world. Count me among the many here who truly care about you, brudda. If you need anything and don't feel like posting openly on the boards, this fool's inbox is always open for you.

RIP to your brother, and take care and hang in there to you and your fam.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you very much for the kind words, 🤯 and Kilgore. It means a lot coming from you two fine gentlemen.

Baker my man , I am sorry for you’re loss. There are very few connections like that of a brother. Beautifully written post as always and my thoughts are with you.

I'm at a loss for words. Your stories about your exploits with your brother were some of my favorite posts on PW. It was so reminiscent of me and my cousin and how we were fanatical about wrestling during the 90's. In a way they brought back good memories for myself. Hang in there man, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Aww man...my heart goes out to you and your family. Stay strong and take care of yourself.

Thank you, Shootist and @ck . And welcome back, CK. Do stick around!

I'm a little worried about my parents. The other day my dad told me some personal stuff about himself that I did not know, or even suspect. Sunday my mom had me drive her back to the cemetery to once again pay her respects.

So long as I focus on other things I'm alright. I'm pretty much the Worst In The World at multitasking, and can only focus on one thing at a time. So I've tried keeping busy. Went back to work today. That was good. But tiring. Took a nice, long nap after work. Then I watched the first half of my brother's beloved Ravens game tonight as a tribute of sorts (I'm technically a Steelers fan, but I've barely watched any football over the past few years). He'd have been happy with the stellar performance of Lamar Jackson and his teammates (and also the Rams bright unis!).

I've been screwing around all night on PW because, again, keeping busy is good.

The messages of condolences that had been blowing up my phone for a few days have mostly dried up now as people move on with their lives.

Shortly after hearing about my brother's passing, my favorite co-worker, who recently became an extreme part timer, asked if she could pick up my shift for tomorrow. She needs the hours and figured she'd give me a break. I agreed. But I feel like I will regret that.

Meeting up with my mom to drive over to the funeral home tomorrow so we can pick up some pictures and other things we left behind. It's likely to be rough.

But NWA Powerrr at 6:05 will surely brighten my day.