PW NEWS EPISODE 33

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HOUSEKEEPING OVERHAUL: Some 'News updates on stuff. I'll be creating a "master post" thread archiving all the previous and future PW News episodes. Will even do it via the weekly gifs so you can see where we've come, or just laugh to yourself that Ness has somehow regurgitated the same 17 minute talking points for 6 months straight. Also once (if) the Animal Warfare stuff gets underway we're starting the PW's FAVORITE CEREAL COUNTDOWN 2.0. I don't have the old PMs obviously, but can at least comment on where they placed last time. We received 15 last time around, what will it be this time? Hopefully at least 10.

BROCK TALK: Favorite Wrestler is still being dominated by Brock talk. Not much love for Kurt sadly, which hurts as I feel he's way more versatile and can be built around a promotion versus Brock... but whatever. 🤯 has started an epic Storytime post detailing his fandom. Only Pi could love him so much that he writes a novel and not even cover his debut yet. He would be an excellent fill-in anchor for PW News I reckon, taking 10 minutes to get to a point that should take at most 2. Also FFCW has updated again and honestly he might as well work for the writing team since he churns out content at the drop of a hat. Also the Fan Fic Draft is still happening. RT should make #1/#16 the wildcard entries for true chaos booking.

DON'T @ BABY PI: Twitter updates sees new followers to the PWCOM Twitter page. One of these days I'm gonna make a tweeter account so I can see who they are. One time I had one and I was followed by SM. Dudes like baseball for some reason. Also Pi keeps losing face in his own household. I give him some advice going forward, so hopefully he doesn't listen with Wife since I told him with pi jr. (not doing the weird pi15686 math) outrank her in testosterone vs. estrogen. Unless you feed him a lotta soy. MEN OUTRANK IN DIS HOUSE!

ETERNAL LEMIEUX KILLIMEISTER: Countdown updated in Sports see Lemieux comma Mario make an appearance. I think he counts on the Ness scale, but only true fans that listen can decide one way or another. I don't follow sports because I'm a walking stereotype so I can't tell you anything further. In Decade we saw a beloved pretentious film in Spotlight of the ... yeah it's a long title and I forgot it already. That Jim Carrey DEDSRS movie PW seems to love. Get your director list in and then start working on Buddy Cop and your top 100, lists being accepted soon for that behemoth.

If I don't die in my sleep expect a new gif tomorrow as we start a new week!

Jun 13, 2020 0:07:19 GMT @ness said:

BROCK TALK: Favorite Wrestler is still being dominated by Brock talk. Not much love for Kurt sadly, which hurts as I feel he's way more versatile and can be built around a promotion versus Brock... but whatever. 🤯 has started an epic Storytime post detailing his fandom. Only Pi could love him so much that he writes a novel and not even cover his debut yet. He would be an excellent fill-in anchor for PW News I reckon, taking 10 minutes to get to a point that should take at most 2. 

You're in luck. I just dropped a lengthy post chronicling my days years as a Kurt Angle fanboy. Also, I will not allow anyone, even my man 🤯, to out-novel me on PW. No stealing my gimmick!

Since you brought it up.....I've had the co-anchor idea for a while. I just never wanted to mention it in case @ness got butthurt and mistook it as me thinking he's doing a bad job. Nothing could be further from the truth! But I'd like to see a co-anchor pop up at least once for something different.

OK. I've got my Cocoa Puffs in the bowl. News time....

Can relate to the depressingly true opening.

What happens when you run out of decent gifs? Will that mark the end of PW News?

I can never get used to those weird day before month people.

Oh wow. I had no idea the Cereal Countdown was on proboards. Thought it was like 5-6 years ago on the old PW. I can't find an old PM relating to that countdown. So maybe I didn't participate after all?

Only way I'd care about a WWE writing team change would be if they officially brought in KING KID to Make WWE Great Again. 

The lukewarm response to Kurt surprised me too. Ditto for the Brock hate. I mean, I knew I would bring the Brock hate, but I wasn't expecting so many others.

My dad was a babyface fan when he occasionally watched wrestling with my brother and I in the late 80s. Although there's a chance he was also trolling since I was a heel fan. Wait? If anything, I was the troll in this situation. So maybe my dad was an anti-troll troll? Now my head hurts. Next!

Thanks a lot. Now my political mail nightmares are going to return. Election season is brutal on postal employees.

The "subtlely" gag was a good one.

🤯 has a housekeeper? My man must be made of dimes.

Speaking of PI, my female friend in Rochester also makes monthly trips to Mass for her "medicinal" needs.

I don't think Cameron from Ferris Bueller wears a Lemieux jersey unless it's just a quickie one off scene. He wears a Detroit Red Wings jersey for most (all?) of the movie. I only remember this because I thought it was a Calgary Flames jersey until somebody (my brother?) set me straight- "That's not a Flames jersey, you idiot! It's a Red Wings jersey!" 

lol I'm with Ness on thinking "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotlight Mind" is a super pretentious title. In fact, that's probably why I never watched it. 

Speaking of Lionheart, where has the legend been. Come back!

I used strategic voting once or twice in my early PW days. Now I deem it uncouth.

My original cereal submission, dated 7 October 2017:

1. Life
2. Cinnamon Life
3. Fruity Pebbles
4. Honeycomb
5. Honey Bunches of Oats
6. Raisin Bran Two Scoops
7. Chex (let me know if I have to separate out corn, rice, and wheat)
8. Apple Cinnamon Cheerios
9. Frosted Mini Wheats
10. Captain Crunch

Am I mentioned in all of these news things or something? I keep getting tagged in these threads. Are there clips of Ness really recording stuff like a news announcer in the OPs of these threads?

I have never checked. It sounds interesting. I have never heard the voice of Ness.

What am I missing out on?

Jun 13, 2020 3:04:04 GMT Lionheart said:

Am I mentioned in all of these news things or something? I keep getting tagged in these threads. Are there clips of Ness really recording stuff like a news announcer in the OPs of these threads?

I have never checked. It sounds interesting. I have never heard the voice of Ness.

What am I missing out on?

I never thought I'd be so thankful to see you post.

I've learned my lesson.

Don't go anywhere again. Stay! Post!

I will it!!!

Jun 13, 2020 3:05:26 GMT 🤯 said:

Jun 13, 2020 3:04:04 GMT Lionheart said:

Am I mentioned in all of these news things or something? I keep getting tagged in these threads. Are there clips of Ness really recording stuff like a news announcer in the OPs of these threads?

I have never checked. It sounds interesting. I have never heard the voice of Ness.

What am I missing out on?

I never thought I'd be so thankful to see you post.

I've learned my lesson.

Don't go anywhere again. Stay! Post!

I will it!!!

Okay well answer my questions, buddy. I want to know if it’s worth listening to these...if there is indeed something to listen to.

Baker

Sometimes the news feels like a video game roster for wrestling. By time it goes live it's badly out of date.

I've always had this little fantasy that if I missed a day someone would come forward and do their own version just for kicks. There's been a few times we almost didn't get shows, but it probably would just be 🤯 the next day doing a wellness check. With that said I wouldn't mind bringing someone in to bounce off of, but like pduh and system I know you gotta plan these things well in advance whereas with PW News I can just wing it real quick just jotting down notes and going ham from there.

I wanna say I'll never run out of gifs, but even in Storytime I'm finding I'm running low on ones to use. But unlike Storytime I don't need to use numerous ones for a single post AND need them to be themed too. Fun Fact: the current one was gonna be used last week, but saw the Obama one in my hunt for the gif and decided to spread it out a week.

Yeah, I think the Cereal thing was one of the first things I did on the board other than a half-hearted attempt to transfer my old fed here. 3 years isn't that long, but the old PW.com seems like a lifetime ago. I did revisit it a few weeks back just to check in and looks nothing like I remembered. Not that I ever visited the main page in all my forum days.

I don't think even a Vince death would bring me back in full-time to wrestling. My fandom has been waning for a good decade now. After the original run of NXT (think when it was hottest) I think was my last hurrah.

I dunno if I ever mentioned going to a houseshow with my Dad and brother and going full-on troll purposely cheering the heels to an obnoxious degree. I'm surprised I didn't get my ass beat. And then my Dad and bro helping them.

Pi is made of dimes, but the wife is made of susan b. anthony coins. Those are dollars right?

I wish I could get up on the medicinal trips. Mass is too far. Michigan is a reasonable trip for me, but I fear getting pulled over on the way back. Ohio is a lost cause. I wish Trump would pull a "trump card" and just go all in and make it legal in a dumpster fire on his way out. Dunno if the prez has that kinda power.

Yeah I looked up "Ferris Bueller Lemmy" and it didn't show anything. I think he wore that jersey 90% of the movie. But I swear I saw that name in another movie or something before.

And Lionheart it's strictly audio. I don't have the funding to do webcam videos with full on suit and tie and a stack of papers that I constantly reaslign in dramatic fashion.

Poo-poo-pooooping!

I mean, listening...

And yes, there's OBVIOUSLY something wrong in @ness's life. Am I the only one who listens to PW News AND reads Storytime with @ness!?

I still think PW News deserves its own subforum at this point. It deserves that kind of honor.

Looking forward for Cereal Part Deux. If the Animal War ever begins... Or ends...

8=====D

I feel like there needs to be a compilation of spladle125's greatest hits for misleading thread titles.

Wait... Wasn't Baker-man gonna intentionally slow down the countdown once we got this far?

You and your dad SUPER SMASH together!? I want that kind of relationship with PI5.

Lol'd at the idea of #BROCKTOBER ever being finished.

Lol'd harder at the idea of RT taking the family camping to "train" them for a life on reduced income.

Love the chaos idea of giving Rando Cardrissian slots to #1 & #16.

Subtly, quietly... Who mentioned PW News? Oh, FFCW. Yeah, man... When is PW News gonna do a dedicated special!?

@admin has followed Asuka and Kamille with PW's Twitter. What if he somehow gets them to join?!?!?

Sorry for the scare. What is simpish? Like a Simpson? I already got yelled at his morning when Wife asked if we're gonna call penises "pee-pees" once PI5 is here, and I said "no, women penetrators".

Bidet for another classic @ness pronunciation. My dream is to one day have a bidet.

Missed the Mario stuff because of a flush. Oh well. Sorry, Mario!

I'm torn though, as I kinda like derp faces on Wikipedia. And Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind would be more pretentious dooosh title if it wasn't a line from a poem cited applicably within the movie. If people paid attention with an open mind instead of going in hell bent on hating, maybe they'd pick up on that.

Did we get an answer on if buddy cops is just all cop movies where two mates are featured? Like, I'm with System in loving End of Watch.

I think 1/4 of the movie on the road is the qualifying criteria. Also, don't forget Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle!

Ooo... I like the new twist of "don't forget to suck it"!

No one answered my questions!

No matter. I have already made up my mind.

Ness’ unparalleled wit and snarkiness quickly made him my #1 favorite poster on PW. (Sorry 🤯, you just aren’t funny enough. We share a stronger bond though.) Each Ness post is like an enigma wrapped in a mystery of joy.

I cannot hear the voice of Ness. It would ruin part of that mystery forever.

@ness, please provide the transcripts of your news articles so I can read them as it’s meant to be.

Jun 13, 2020 14:59:01 GMT Lionheart said:

No one answered my questions!

No matter. I have already made up my mind.

Ness’ unparalleled wit and snarkiness quickly made him my #1 favorite poster on PW. (Sorry 🤯, you just aren’t funny enough. We share a stronger bond though.) Each Ness post is like an enigma wrapped in a mystery of joy.

I cannot hear the voice of Ness. It would ruin part of that mystery forever.

@ness, please provide the transcripts of your news articles so I can read them as it’s meant to be.

No worries. I appreciate our bond for what it is. We're like a two-part epoxy.

I second the demand for transcripts. Maybe a passion project I can start in exchange for the promise of a dedicated PW News subforum.

Damn, Lionheart. He's your favourite poster yet you don't even give him the time of day to listen to his sub 20 minute news bulletins, and demand that he put in hours of work to write transcripts?

If that's how you treat your favourites, I dread to think what happens to your enemies...

Jun 13, 2020 15:31:48 GMT Emperor said:

Damn, Lionheart. He's your favourite poster yet you don't even give him the time of day to listen to his sub 20 minute news bulletins, and demand that he put in hours of work to write transcripts?

If that's how you treat your favourites, I dread to think what happens to your enemies...

A true professional such as Ness already has typed transcripts that are fed into the teleprompter, fool!