🤯 bumping this the other day gave me the idea to book a Lex Luger WWF Championship reign with the premise being "What if WWF went all in on making Lex the next Hogan?" So I spent most of my day at work doing just that. A day or two later I spent most of my work day daydreaming about a fanfic project which will likely never see the light of day. This is what they pay me for...

*Started writing this the other day before getting bogged down by stupid house shows.

What if the Lex Express never ran out of gas?

Summerslam 93- Defeats Yokozuna to win the WWF Championship
House Shows: Defeats Yokozuna around the horn in rematches.
Survivor Series 93- Defeats Ludvig Borga by countout to become the sole survivor for his All Americans team
House Shows: Luger & Tatanka trade victories with Yoko & Borga with Tatanka taking the fall when they lose.
Royal Rumble 94- Defeats Crush (late sub for Ludvig Borga) with a little help from Randy Savage who prevents Crush from cheating.
House Shows: Luger & Tatanka defeat Yoko & Crush around the horn
Wrestlemania X- Defeats Royal Rumble winner Bret Hart. Bret cheated to win the Rumble and is doing a toned down version of his '97 heel gimmick.
House Shows: Luger (and Savage) defeat Bret (and Owen) around the horn.
KOTR 94- Defeats Randy Savage in a face vs. face passing of the torch.
House Shows: Defeats Lawler, Jarrett, and other midcard heels.
Summerslam 94- Defeats turncoat Tatanka who sold out to Ted Dibiase around KOTR.
House Shows: Defeats Million Dollar Corporation members Tatanka, IRS, and Bigelow
Survivor Series 94- Defeats Mr. Bob Backlund in pretty much the same story as Bret/Backlund from real life.
House Shows: Defeats more midcard heels, sometimes in tags with Allied Powers partner Davey Boy Smith.
Royal Rumble 95- Defeats either Bam Bam Bigelow or King Kong Bundy in his continuing war with Ted Dibiase's Corporation.
House Shows: Defeats Shawn Michaels
Wrestlemania XI: Defeats Royal Rumble winner Diesel w/ Shawn Michaels
*Diesel turns on Michaels, blaming him for the 'Mania loss to Luger
House Shows: Continues to team with Davey Boy Smith against all the top WWF heels until Davey turns on him during a Raw match against the Harts.
IYH May 95- Defeats the hitherto undefeated Hakushi
KOTR 95: Defeats British Bulldog after Davey Boy became the latest man to turn on Lex. 
IYH July 95: w/ Michaels LOSES to Sid & Diesel when Diesel pins Shawn.
Summerslam 95: Defeats Sid
IYH September 95: Defeats the previously undefeated Jean Pierre Lafitte
IYH October 95: Defeats the red hot Mabel
Survivor Series 95: Defeats the newly heel turned Razor Ramon
IYH December 95: Defeats Owen Hart who has taken control of the Hart Foundation due to a pissed off Bret Hart finally defecting to WCW.
Royal Rumble 96: Wrestles Undertaker to a draw when Diesel interferes
IYH February 96: Hands Hunter Hearst Helmsley his first loss
Wrestlemania XII: LOSES to IC Champ Shawn Michaels. Big idea here is to recreate Hogan/Warrior- a babyface vs. babyface battle for the ages.

Final Thoughts: Lex Luger held the WWF Championship for over 31 months. Longest reign since Hulk Hogan's legendary 84-88 run.
Dimes Drawn: Incalculable. Does the Monday Night War even exist in this universe? I think not.

I’ll admit it got a little weak towards the end. The funny thing is Flexy Lexy would’ve had a murderer’s row of challengers lined up in '96, but I just couldn’t see Vince sticking with Lex now that he has his new man crush in Michaels all built up and ready to go.

Jul 14, 2020 2:49:04 GMT Baker said:

🤯 bumping this the other day gave me the idea to book a Lex Luger WWF Championship reign with the premise being "What if WWF went all in on making Lex the next Hogan?" So I spent most of my day at work doing just that. A day or two later I spent most of my work day daydreaming about a fanfic project which will likely never see the light of day. This is what they pay me for...

*Started writing this the other day before getting bogged down by stupid house shows.

What if the Lex Express never ran out of gas?

Summerslam 93- Defeats Yokozuna to win the WWF Championship
House Shows: Defeats Yokozuna around the horn in rematches.
Survivor Series 93- Defeats Ludvig Borga by countout to become the sole survivor for his All Americans team
House Shows: Luger & Tatanka trade victories with Yoko & Borga with Tatanka taking the fall when they lose.
Royal Rumble 94- Defeats Crush (late sub for Ludvig Borga) with a little help from Randy Savage who prevents Crush from cheating.
House Shows: Luger & Tatanka defeat Yoko & Crush around the horn
Wrestlemania X- Defeats Royal Rumble winner Bret Hart. Bret cheated to win the Rumble and is doing a toned down version of his '97 heel gimmick.
House Shows: Luger (and Savage) defeat Bret (and Owen) around the horn.
KOTR 94- Defeats Randy Savage in a face vs. face passing of the torch.
House Shows: Defeats Lawler, Jarrett, and other midcard heels.
Summerslam 94- Defeats turncoat Tatanka who sold out to Ted Dibiase around KOTR.
House Shows: Defeats Million Dollar Corporation members Tatanka, IRS, and Bigelow
Survivor Series 94- Defeats Mr. Bob Backlund in pretty much the same story as Bret/Backlund from real life.
House Shows: Defeats more midcard heels and maybe King Kong Bundy
Royal Rumble 95- Defeats yet another turncoat in British Bulldog who joined Bret & Owen's anti-American crusade after initially being a Lex ally.
House Shows: Defeats Shawn Michaels
Wrestlemania XI: Defeats Royal Rumble winner Diesel w/ Shawn Michaels
*Diesel turns on Michaels, blaming him for the 'Mania loss to Luger
IYH May 95- Defeats the hitherto undefeated Hakushi
KOTR 95: Defeats...I dunno....Jerry Lawler or Bigelow or Bundy. HBK winning KOTR is the big news here.
IYH July 95: w/ Michaels LOSES to Sid & Diesel when Diesel pins Shawn.
Summerslam 95: Defeats Sid
IYH September 95: Defeats the previously undefeated Jean Pierre Lafitte
IYH October 95: Defeats the red hot Mabel
Survivor Series 95: Defeats the newly heel turned Razor Ramon
IYH December 95: Defeats Owen Hart who has taken control of the Hart Foundation due to a pissed off Bret Hart finally defecting to WCW.
Royal Rumble 96: Wrestles Undertaker to a draw when Diesel interferes
IYH February 96: Hands Hunter Hearst Helmsley his first loss
Wrestlemania XII: LOSES to IC Champ Shawn Michaels. Big idea here is to recreate Hogan/Warrior- a babyface vs. babyface battle for the ages.

Final Thoughts: Lex Luger held the WWF Championship for over 31 months. Longest reign since Hulk Hogan's legendary 84-88 run.
Dimes Drawn: Incalculable. Does the Monday Night War even exist in this universe? I think not.

I’ll admit it got a little weak towards the end. The funny thing is Flexy Lexy would’ve had a murderer’s row of challengers lined up in '96, but I just couldn’t see Vince sticking with Lex now that he has his new man crush in Michaels all built up and ready to go.

Love this thought experiment! Some immediate favorite aspects include the early formation of the anti-USA Hart Foundation and the delayed Diesel/HBK split along with keeping Diesel a heel.

Feel like certain Baker-isms shine through here at the expense of not giving Lex the best possible PPV opponents or achieving the greatest possible spectacles... namely JPL getting a PPV world title shot.

Love also that keeping Baker-man's perfectly rebooked 1995 KOTR is an absolute MUST in ANY parallel universe.

If I could perhaps offer some ideas to help tighten things up and/or strengthen the "little weak" back-end...

I think the key is to perhaps draw out the Million Dollar Corporation feud and keep that faction a little better protected. Thinking something like...
- SummerSlam 1994: Lex retains against turncoat Tatanka.
- House show loop features Lex retaining against Tatanka in Indian Strap Matches. IRS & Bigelow wins the tag titles from the Headshrinkers. DiBiase hypes the MDC's latest acquisiton: the returning King Kong Bundy!
- Survivor Series 1994: Lex partners with Taker and the Smoking Gunns against DiBiase's MDC team of Tatanka, IRS, Bigelow, and King Kong Bundy. The Gunns reveal late in the match that they've quit Smoking and been Hired when they turn on Lex & Taker and join the MDC in a beatdown on the world champ and Deadman.
- House show loop features Lex & Taker tagging to tangle with the Hired Gunns, tag champs IRS & Bigelow, and Tatanka & King Kong Bundy.
- Royal Rumble 1995: Lex retains Mr. Bob Backlund in the Submit or Surrender Match deferred from Survivor Series. The immovable King Kong Bundy wins the 1995 Royal Rumble.
- House show loop features Lex retaining against Tatanka in cage matches and tag champs IRS & Bigelow via DQ thanks to outside interference from King Kong Bundy.
- WrestleMania XI: Lex retains against King Kong Bundy, unbelievably getting KBB up in the Torture Rack after KOing him with the loaded forearm. On the undercard, Taker defeats Tatanka, IRS & Bigelow in a Grave Consequences Gauntlet Match (forcing the MDC to file for bankruptcy) and the Hired Gunns fail to regain the tag titles on behalf of the MDC from Men on a Mission.
- IYH May 1995: Lex's title defense against Diesel goes to a no contest after Sid interferes and attacks both the champion and the challenger... POWERBOMBS FOR EVERYONE!
- KOTR 1995: Lex's title defense against Sid goes to a no contest after Diesel returns the favor from last month and interferes, attacking champion and challenger... JACKKNIFES FOR ALL! HBK wins the crown because Baker-man's rebook is PERFECTION.
- IYH July 1995: Lex & Bulldog fail to win the tag titles from Owen & Yoko after Bulldog turns on Lex and joins the Camp Cornette Hart Foundation. HBK wins the IC title from Jeff Jarrett. Sid vs. Diesel goes to a no contest.
Summerslam 1995: Lex retains against Bulldog, turning SummerSlam into a new yearly tradition of defending the world title against turncoats. HBK retains the IC title against Razor in a ladder rematch. Diesel defeats Sid in some relatively lame gimmick match (Powerbomb vs. Jackknife... first to hit it, wins?).
- IYH September 1995: Lex retains clean against Sid to revisit and close that feud from earlier in the spring. Maybe make it a cage match to add some spice. After the match, bitter ol' Bret attacks Lex. HBK & Diesel reunite and challenge Owen & Yoko for the tag titles on the undercard, but that match ends in DQ when Bulldog interferes.
- IYH October 1995: Lex's title defense against Bret ends in a mega-schmoz when Bulldog, Owen & Yoko interference draws out HBK & Diesel with steel chairs to run Camp Cornette Hart Foundation off.
- Survivor Series 95: Lex, HBK, Diesel, and the returning-from-injury Undertaker to clean sweep through Camp Cornette Hart Foundation. The embarrassing defeat causes Camp Cornette Hart Foundation to splinter.
- IYH December 1995: Lex retains against Owen (Owen says every other member of Camp Cornette Hart Foundation has had one or more shots at Lex's world title... enough is enough, it's time for a change, it's Owen's turn!). Taker avenges his facial injury by defeating Yoko in their casket match rubber match. HBK & Diesel drop the tag titles (which they win on some RAW from Owen & Yoko) to Bret & Bulldog.
- Royal Rumble 1996: Lex's title defense against Taker goes to a no contest after a heel-turning Diesel interferes. HBK wins the 1996 Royal Rumble after last eliminating Diesel.
- IYH February 1996: Lex retains the title via escape in a cage match against Diesel after Taker drags Diesel to hell through a hole in the canvas.
- Wrestlemania XII: Lex drops the world title to IC Champion Shawn Michaels in a match billed as being even bigger than Hogan/Warrior. On the undercard, Bret & Bulldog retain the tag title against Owen & Yoko. Vader squashes Razor as punishment for Razor heading South.

...

Fuck it, let's keep this going!

HBK goes on his run as Top Face #1a. Lex hangs around as Top Face #1b for a bit. Leverage Lex to put over Vader and the debuting Mankind to position them for their respective programs against HBK and Taker. For sure we also do a little Goldust program, as there's no way Goldust doesn't become obsessed with The Total Package's package. Then Lex transitions into being the mentor/tag partner for Ahmed. They go on a Mega Powers-style to give Ahmed the rub. And we keep the yearly SummerSlam turncoat tradition going... but with a twist this year, as Lex turns heel and jobs to Ahmed to send Ahmed on his way up the card.

I suppose a question becomes "What about Bret?" throughout everything we're outlining.

Seems Baker-man doesn't have Bret turning heel per se until around Royal Rumble 1994. So going with that as the transition point, I'm thinking...

- WrestleMania IX: Bret drops the title to Yoko like IRL.

- House Show Loop: Bret fails to reclaim the title from Yoko.

- King of the Ring 1993: Bret wins the crown to reestablish himself and set up his feud with Lawler.

- House Show Loop: Bret & Owen tag against Lawler & Doink.

- SummerSlam 1993: Bret wrestles Lawler, Owen wrestles Doink. Some screwy finish to one or both matches extends the feud.
- House Show Loop: Bret vs. Doink and Owen vs. Lawler in singles matches.

- Survivor Series 1993: The Harts defeat Doink (sub. for Lawler) and three masked Knights.

- House Show Loop: Bret & Owen vs. Steiners in Brothers vs. Brothers dream match series for tag titles.

- Royal Rumble 1994: Bret wins the Rumble by last eliminating some equally hot face (maybe Scott Steiner?). Gradual heel turn begins in earnest here, with Bret not appreciating the fans rooting for someone else over him.

- House Show Loop: Bret & Owen vs. Steiners with Bret & Owen taking on more of a heel edge.

- WrestleMania X: Bret tries to reclaim HIS world title one year later, but comes up short. Bret cheats more and more the harder it is to put Lex away throughout the match. Fans turn fully on Bret here. Owen attempts to interfere on his big brother Bret's behalf only to eat a loaded forearm for his troubles.

- House Show Loop: Bret loses to Savage in a series of number one contender matches which set Savage up as Lex's challenger for KOTR.

- King of the Ring 1994: Bret and Owen advance to the finals, and we get the WMX match here with Owen upsetting Bret to become king. Role reversal though, with bitter Bret upset with his career trajectory taking it out on Owen to set up their cage match at SummerSlam.

- House Show Loop: Bret wrestles Owen in iron man matchhes. Bret also starts to ramp up his anti-USA shtick, blaming Americans for tearing the Hart family apart.

- SummerSlam 1994: Bret defeats Owen by escape. The Hart family reunites in the wake of the cage match.

- House Show Loop: Bret & Owen bring Bulldog & Neidhart back into the fold. Hart Foundation is formed. They tangle with the Kliq with Razor's IC title at stake from time to time.

- Survivor Series 1994: Bret, Owen, Bulldog, Neidhart defeat HBK, Diesel, Razor, and Kid when Dudes with Attitudes suffer a miscommunication.

- House Show Loop: Bret & Owen vs. Razor & Kid, etc.

- Royal Rumble 1995: Bret is elimated from the Rumble by Bulldog. Bulldog is kicked out of the Hart Foundation as a result, turning him face.

- House Show Loop: Bret, Owen & Neidhart vs. Bulldog and Men on a Mission.

- WrestleMania XI: Bret defeats Bulldog in their IRL match from IYH December 95.

- IYH May 1995: Bulldog defeats Bret in their rubber match. Owen & Yoko defeat Men on a Mission for the tag belts.

- King of the Ring 1995: Bret provides hilariously bitter guest commentary for the evening, shitting on HBK and starting to call out Undertaker.

- IYH July 1995: Bret guest refs Owen & Yoko's tag title defense against Lex & Bulldog. Bret is taken out by Taker and replaced by a normal ref prior to Bulldog turning on Lex.

- SummerSlam 1995: Taker defeats Bret via count-out when Bret walks out.

- IYH September 1995: Bret defeats Taker with an inside cradle to become the number one contender. Maybe this is where Yoko crushes Taker's face?

- IYH October 1995: Lex vs. Bret ends in previously described schmoz.

- Survivor Series 1995: Camp Cornette Hart Foundation loses in embarrassing fashion to Lex, HBK, Diesel, Taker.

- IYH December 1995: Bret & Bulldog win the tag title from HBK & Diesel.

- Royal Rumble 1996: HBK last eliminates Bret to win the Rumble.

- IYH February 1996: Bret & Bulldog defend the tag title against... I dunno, face Smoking Gunns? Owen & Yoko warn a tag title shot by beating... I dunno, Bodydonnas?

- WrestleMania XII: Bret & Bulldog retain the tag titles over Owen & Yoko. Bret, Owen, Bulldog turn on Yoko afterward and oust him in favor of Vader.

Might think about tweaking Bret's timeline to have him be the third man instead of Hogan, jumping to WCW to join Hall & Nash of all people.

🤯 One thing I tried to do with Lex's title reign was save the bigger matches for "Big 5" pay per views and go with "lesser" opponents at In Your House. I also tried to avoid repeat matches on PPV.

I didn't elaborate much on the philosophy behind all of this, but it basically boils down to "Lex Must Pose." Practically everybody else (including Bret) was irrelevant. They're all just Luger fodder in the same way so many guys back in the day were simply Hogan fodder. I had bitter Bret leaving around the same time Lex left in real life.

Doing Luger/Savage at KOTR 94 was a strategic move. With face vs. face you always run the risk of the 'wrong' guy getting cheered. That wouldn't happen here because Baltimore was Lex Luger country, baby!

Luger/Backlund at Survivor Series 94 was another strategic move. Basically just recycling the Bret/Backlund storyline with Lex in Bret's role. I think it might even work better from a storyline perspective, though the matches would no doubt be awful. 

Giving JPL a title shot on PPV wasn't a COMPLETE Bakerism. He was an undefeated foreigner (see also: Hakushi) which made him a natural Luger opponent. Remember, the overarching philosophy is Lex Must Pose. So even if fans "know" Lex is gonna win, that's fine! Because they'll tune in to see him win.

I once again thought about this at work today and decided two corrections would make this even better...

1. Bulldog's title shot is being held off to KOTR 95 rather than Royal Rumble '95. That gives the Allied Powers superteam more time together, which makes the impact of Bulldog's turn that much more significant. Yes, I probably overused the "good guy turns heel on Lex" storyline. BUT that's only staying true to the Hogan formula I'm blatantly copying. Remember, I don't really care about "ruining" everybody else. They only exist to prop up Luger's super push in this universe.

2. I'll insert Bigelow or Bundy into the Royal Rumble '95 title shot. If Bigelow, the story will be Lex's "good friend" Lawrence Taylor is in Luger's corner. He wards off a cheating Dibiase to help Lex win, thereby setting up LT/BBB at 'Mania. If Bundy, it'll be a carbon copy of Hogan's Wrestlemania II storyline with Lex going over the undefeated in his return KKB via Torture Rack in a hat tip to PI. This might leave Undertaker without a decent 'Mania opponent. But who cares? Because Lex gets to pose. Mission accomplished.

-If Lex had retained the title at WM 12, I would have went with Goldust as his opponent at the next two IYHs.
-Then Warrior at KOTR 96 in an epic babyface vs. babyface clash of the titans.
-6 Man Tag in July where he gets pinned by Vader to set up Lex beating Vader with Torture Rack at Summerslam 96.
-Then another 2 match program, this one with Mankind, at IYH September & October.
-KOTR 96 winner Steve Austin is Lex's latest Survivor Series victim.
-Then he enters into a program with Faarooq. Throw some other midcard heel in for IYH February. Maybe Austin again? Sid? I dunno.
-Wrestlemania 13 would be Lex vs. Royal Rumble '97 winner Undertaker in another epic babyface clash of the titans. Or Lex vs. Royal Rumble winner Ahmed in a similar face vs. face superclash could also work.

Baker man booking a 31 month title reign for the Lex Express is low key one of the most Baker things to ever happen on this version of PW. No one else would ever do this. Like there's thousands of rebooks on the internet and I'm confident this has never previously happened.

Jul 15, 2020 5:28:58 GMT Kilgore said:

Baker man booking a 31 month title reign for the Lex Express is low key one of the most Baker things to ever happen on this version of PW. No one else would ever do this. Like there's thousands of rebooks on the internet and I'm confident this has never previously happened.

:lol: This is too true and also probably true-er. 

I personally still despise Lex Luger as a wrestler and he is probably still regarded as either a "meh" or "fuck that guy" kind of figure in the IWC I'm sure. 

Now I'm inspired to do a Great Khali "Reign of Terror"-style rebooking, or a "Nathan Jones green-ass actually gets over" rebook...  :brows:  

Jul 15, 2020 0:55:13 GMT Baker said:

🤯 One thing I tried to with Lex's title reign was save the bigger matches for "Big 5" pay per views and go with "lesser" opponents at In Your House. I also tried to avoid repeat matches on PPV.

I didn't elaborate much on the philosophy behind all of this, but it basically boils down to "Lex Must Pose." Practically everybody else (including Bret) was irrelevant. They're all just Luger fodder in the same way so many guys back in the day were simply Hogan fodder. I had bitter Bret leaving around the same time Lex left in real life.

Doing Luger/Savage at KOTR 94 was a strategic move. With face vs. face you always run the risk of the 'wrong' guy getting cheered. That wouldn't happen here because Baltimore was Lex Luger country, baby!

Luger/Backlund at Survivor Series 94 was another strategic move. Basically just recycling the Bret/Backlund storyline with Lex in Bret's role. I think it might even work better from a storyline perspective, though the matches would no doubt be awful. 

Giving JPL a title shot on PPV wasn't a COMPLETE Bakerism. He was an undefeated foreigner (see also: Hakushi) which made him a natural Luger opponent. Remember, the overarching philosophy is Lex Must Pose. So even if fans "know" Lex is gonna win that's fine! Because they'll tune in to see him win.

I once again thought about this at work today and decided two corrections would make this even better...

1. Bulldog's title shot is being held off to KOTR 95 rather than Royal Rumble '95. That gives the Allied Powers superteam more time together, which makes the impact of Bulldog's turn that much more significant. Yes, I probably overused the "good guy turns heel on Lex" storyline. BUT that's only staying true to the Hogan formula I'm blatantly copying. Remember, I don't really care about "ruining" everybody else. They only exist to prop up Luger's super push in this universe.

2. I'll insert Bigelow or Bundy into the Royal Rumble '95 title shot. If Bigelow, the story will be Lex's "good friend" Lawrence Taylor is in Luger's corner. He wards off a cheating Dibiase to help Lex win, thereby setting up LT/BBB at 'Mania. If Bundy, it'll be a carbon copy of Hogan's Wrestlemania II storyline with Lex going over the undefeated in his return KKB via Torture Rack in a hat tip to PI. This might leave Undertaker without a decent 'Mania opponent. But who cares? Because Lex gets to pose. Mission accomplished.

-If Lex had retained the title at WM 12, I would have went with Goldust as his opponent at the next two IYHs.
-Then Warrior at KOTR 96 in an epic babyface vs. babyface clash of the titans.
-6 Man Tag in July where he gets pinned by Vader to set up Lex beating Vader with Torture Rack at Summerslam 96.
-Then another 2 match program, this one with Mankind, at IYH September & October.
-KOTR 96 winner Steve Austin is Lex's latest Survivor Series victim.
-Then he enters into a program with Faarooq. Throw some other midcard heel in for IYH February. Maybe Austin again? Sid? I dunno.
-Wrestlemania 13 would be Lex vs. Royal Rumble '97 winner Undertaker in another epic babyface clash of the titans. Or Lex vs. Royal Rumble winner Ahmed in a similar face vs. face superclash could also work.

Understanding more of the philosophy behind your vision makes it all make so much more sense, and I love it all the more. I even love Lex retaining at WMXII and carrying on. I'm loving Faarooq and Ahmed as opponents.

And I mean, if Lex is Hogan 2.0 then he definitely needs a title run to rival Hogan's 84-88... So that would be August 93 to August 97 at least, right? Maybe Lex is the victim of a special guest referee screw job instead of Taker at SummerSlam 1997 in this reality? Setting up an epic feud to be blown off in the first-ever HIAC?

Assuming no injuries, liking the idea of Faarooq being the HBK in the face vs. face of Lex vs. Ahmed at SummerSlam, screwing Lex to help Ahmed become the first black WWF Champion as a way to try wooing Ahmed into the Nation of Domination and planting is-he-isn't-he seeds of doubt in the minds of fans and fellow wrestlers. Patriot still comes in and is the perfect fit as a Lex ally.

Jul 15, 2020 5:28:58 GMT Kilgore said:

Baker man booking a 31 month title reign for the Lex Express is low key one of the most Baker things to ever happen on this version of PW. No one else would ever do this. Like there's thousands of rebooks on the internet and I'm confident this has never previously happened.

Can confirm. I did a more thorough search than usual after reading Kilgore's post and this was the best I could find....
crazymax.org/newsite/columns/collings-corner-what-if-lex-luger-had-won-the-wwf-world-championship/

This writer had Lex holding the belt from Summerslam 93 to Wrestlemania 10 and turning heel before losing to boring Bret at Wrestlemania X. Nice try, but Bob Colling ultimately lacks conviction, and is too married to Bret Hart. 4/10 rebooking.

Now I have to ask, when it comes to Bakerness, how does the 31 month Lex Luger WWF Championship reign compare to Mr. Wonderful: 1996 WCW main eventer? What about Jeff Jarrett as the 3rd man? Or Steve Austin remaining The Ringmaster? I guess PW should just be glad Ahmed Johnson was so injury prone....

Jul 15, 2020 5:42:32 GMT rad said:

Jul 15, 2020 5:28:58 GMT Kilgore said:

Baker man booking a 31 month title reign for the Lex Express is low key one of the most Baker things to ever happen on this version of PW. No one else would ever do this. Like there's thousands of rebooks on the internet and I'm confident this has never previously happened.

This is too true and also probably true-er. 

I personally still despise Lex Luger as a wrestler and he is probably still regarded as either a "meh" or "fuck that guy" kind of figure in the IWC I'm sure. 

Now I'm inspired to do a Great Khali "Reign of Terror"-style rebooking, or a "Nathan Jones green-ass actually gets over" rebook...   

The average fan has little time for Lex Luger. At best, you might encounter an old school fan who will grudgingly admit he was good, or at least carryable, during his first NWA/WCW run. 

Even here on PW, I think Flexy Lexy only received a disappointing 2 votes for 8 points on our recent Favorite Wrestler Countdown. Fwiw Luger did not even crack my Top 50. Think I had him in the 70s on my big list. 

BUT there is a vocal minority of Luger apologists in the smarkiest corners of the internet. A few years ago a group of the most hardcore wrestling fans on the planet got together to determine the Greatest Wrestler Ever. Luger finished 144th. Now that may not very seem impressive. Until! You check out the wrestlers below Lex. I had starting rattling off a list of names, but, well, there's just too many. You could start an all time great promotion with wrestlers who finished below Lex Luger in this "Greatest Wrestler Ever" countdown. Oh, and this list was supposed to be based strictly on in ring work. Check it out for yourself....

forums.prowrestlingonly.com/topic/33853-greatest-wrestler-ever-master-rankings-list-do-not-post-in-this-thread/

For years the general consensus on Lex held that he was good (or at least carryable) during his first NWA/WCW run, and mostly sucked after that. But once again a vocal minority has emerged in recent years claiming the first few years of his second WCW run were actually good.

Our very own Big Evil watched and reviewed nearly every single 1996 WCW match and by his own metrics determined Lex Luger was 1996 WCW Wrestler of the Year. BigEvil was not happy about this, but facts are facts. And the facts are coming up Luger.

www.tapatalk.com/groups/bigevil/big-evil-39-s-wcw-1996-review-t2765-s80.html

Luger also received some of the legit biggest ovations in WCW history during his 2nd run with the company- the 1996 World War III finishing stretch, Luger/Giant at Starrcade 96, and Luger beating Hogan on Nitro.

Luger fandom has done this weird 180. Back in the day, casuals liked/loved Lex while 'smarks' loathed him because too many muscles. Now the more casual fans think Lex was rubbish while the hardcore super duper fans are the ones most likely to go bat for him.
======================
Most of you guys have heard the following stories a million times, but I'm not sure rad has. So.....

The reason I go so hard on Luger's 1993 push is basically just because he was SO OVER in my neighborhood. Like you have no idea. He was pretty much God to my peers. He really was the second coming of Hulk Hogan in the Baltimore suburbs.

I was actually NOT a "Made In The USA" Lex Luger fan. In fact, I was a "Made In The USA" Lex Luger hater. The last thing I personally wanted was Hulk Hogan 2.0. I didn't even like the first one! I was also a huge fan his rivals, Yoko & Borga. Plus I was annoyed about him dropping the awesome Narcissist gimmick, which had made him my favorite wrestler during the first half of 1993.

But I was just one weirdo with goofy opinions who grew up hating Hogan and loving Honkytonk Man. Over is over. And Lex was over like rover. Lex was also the type of guy who sold tickets. I was aware of this even as a dumb kiddie mark. So it seemed obvious that Lex would beat Yoko for the title. I'd have bet every single dime I had on it. Then...he didn't. It was super weird in real time and a terrible booking decision in hindsight. Honestly one of the worst in company history imo. 

BUT! It turned out they were just prolonging the story so Lex could win the Rumble and beat Yoko at Wrestlemania 10. OK, that's a pretty convoluted way of going about it, but I could kinda sorta understand it. Then he....shared a Rumble victory with Bret? "WTF? Why?"- 1994 Baker. Even going into WM 10 I was convinced Lex was walking out with the belt. Nope. He failed again. And the whole world was done with Luger after that. With good reason. Why back a loser?

It still boggles my mind that WWF didn't pull the trigger on Lex. Like this is the ONE thing back in the day they seriously overthought. Have Lex beat Yoko clean as a sheet at Summerslam. 31 month reign. Count the dimes. Keep it simple, stupid.

Back to storytiming....from Royal Rumble 92-July 4th, 1993 wrestling fandom had bottomed out in my neck of the woods. For the first time in my life I had no real life wrestling fan friends. Everybody had "outgrown" it.... 

Until Lex slammed Yoko. It was like wrestling instantly became cool again. People were suddenly talking about wrestling again for the first time in 18 months. Including kids I had known for years who I had no idea were wrestling fans! 

I grew up without cable, and probably wouldn't have been allowed to order pay per views even if we had it due to my cheapskate parents, so I had to leech onto other people to get my PPV fix. I only got to see 2 live(ish) PPVs between Wrestlemania 7-Summerslam 95. Those two shows were Summerslam 93 and Survivor Series 93. Because Lex Luger was a bah gawd draw here in Baltimore....

Which I once proved in another thread....

It's not just anecdotal evidence either. While researching the history of wrestling in Baltimore pwcom.proboards.com/thread/1228/wrestling- I discovered a "Made In The USA" Lex Luger vs. Ludvig Borga match from October 1993 drew the largest paid crowd (5,800) for a Baltimore house show between 1989-January 1996. We have attendance figures for approximately 30 WWF & NWA/WCW house shows during that 6 year+ time frame. "Made In The USA" Lex Luger outdrew 'em all, including a whole lot of greats. So this is concrete proof that "Made In The USA" Lex Luger was big in Baltimore. You guys can check for yourselves if you don't believe me. www.thehistoryofwwe.com/baltimore90s.htm

Due to being surrounded by all these local Luger lovers, I had just always assumed the rest of the world loved Luger, too. In fact, I'm still not convinced they didn't. Maybe one day I'll do a hardcore project where I check out how well "Made In The USA" Lex Luger drew in other towns.

Nathan Jones & Great Khali. LOL. Those jabronies wish they were half as good as Lex Luger. 

Jul 15, 2020 20:28:00 GMT 🤯 said:

Jul 15, 2020 0:55:13 GMT Baker said:

Understanding more of the philosophy behind your vision makes it all make so much more sense, and I love it all the more. I even love Lex retaining at WMXII and carrying on. I'm loving Faarooq and Ahmed as opponents.

And I mean, if Lex is Hogan 2.0 then he definitely needs a title run to rival Hogan's 84-88... So that would be August 93 to August 97 at least, right? Maybe Lex is the victim of a special guest referee screw job instead of Taker at SummerSlam 1997 in this reality? Setting up an epic feud to be blown off in the first-ever HIAC?

Assuming no injuries, liking the idea of Faarooq being the HBK in the face vs. face of Lex vs. Ahmed at SummerSlam, screwing Lex to help Ahmed become the first black WWF Champion as a way to try wooing Ahmed into the Nation of Domination and planting is-he-isn't-he seeds of doubt in the minds of fans and fellow wrestlers. Patriot still comes in and is the perfect fit as a Lex ally.

Kilgore check this guy out. He wants even more Lex Luger! 

And that's why 🤯 is a legend. I'll be back later to oblige. Let's get the Lex Express to the 4 year mark....

Jul 16, 2020 0:55:43 GMT Baker said:

Now I have to ask, when it comes to Bakerness, how does the 31 month Lex Luger WWF Championship reign compare to Mr. Wonderful: 1996 WCW main eventer? What about Jeff Jarrett as the 3rd man? Or Steve Austin remaining The Ringmaster? I guess PW should just be glad Ahmed Johnson was so injury prone....

1. Steve Austin (Still the Ringmaster)
2. Jeff Jarret (nWo Third Man)
3. Lex Express (31 Month title reign and now counting)

4. Mr. Wonderful(1996 WCW Main Eventer)

All four are aggressively Baker, but the first three go beyond my imagination. Mr Wonderful as a 1996 Main Eventer, though, kind of makes sense. He was the perfect pre-nWo heel for WCW to hop in the time machine for a while. And then post-nWo, when you think about Piper main eventing Starrcade that year, Mr. Wonderful was barely beneath Piper as a Hogan rival, and you could argue was a better one (while admittedly being a lesser name), so Mr. Wonderful as a Hogan opponent on PPV (October instead of Macho?) is only kinda absurd. Now I wish Piper and Orndorff intersected in 1996 somehow, even if only for a month or two. nWo retires Orndorff, he's Piper's second at Starrcade as moral support. Fun 1984 callback. 

Jul 16, 2020 1:39:51 GMT Kilgore said:

Jul 16, 2020 0:55:43 GMT Baker said:

Now I have to ask, when it comes to Bakerness, how does the 31 month Lex Luger WWF Championship reign compare to Mr. Wonderful: 1996 WCW main eventer? What about Jeff Jarrett as the 3rd man? Or Steve Austin remaining The Ringmaster? I guess PW should just be glad Ahmed Johnson was so injury prone....

4. Mr. Wonderful(1996 WCW Main Eventer)

All four are aggressively Baker, but the first three go beyond my imagination. Mr Wonderful as a 1996 Main Eventer, though, kind of makes sense. He was the perfect pre-nWo heel for WCW to hop in the time machine for a while. 

Oh, my sweet summer child. You are so naive, so innocent.

Mr. Wonderful is a face in this rebooking. 



That'll be tomorrow's project.

Placeholder

Jul 15, 2020 20:28:00 GMT 🤯 said:

Jul 15, 2020 0:55:13 GMT Baker said:

Understanding more of the philosophy behind your vision makes it all make so much more sense, and I love it all the more. I even love Lex retaining at WMXII and carrying on. I'm loving Faarooq and Ahmed as opponents.

And I mean, if Lex is Hogan 2.0 then he definitely needs a title run to rival Hogan's 84-88... So that would be August 93 to August 97 at least, right? Maybe Lex is the victim of a special guest referee screw job instead of Taker at SummerSlam 1997 in this reality? Setting up an epic feud to be blown off in the first-ever HIAC?

Assuming no injuries, liking the idea of Faarooq being the HBK in the face vs. face of Lex vs. Ahmed at SummerSlam, screwing Lex to help Ahmed become the first black WWF Champion as a way to try wooing Ahmed into the Nation of Domination and planting is-he-isn't-he seeds of doubt in the minds of fans and fellow wrestlers. Patriot still comes in and is the perfect fit as a Lex ally.

You deciding to continue this to Summerslam 1997 gave me a golden idea....

If the Lex superpush is just a shot for shot remake of the Hogan push, Undertaker would be the perfect* candidate to end Lex's 4 year reign in the "Andre" role. Think about it. Andre was the special attraction of the Hogan Era. Taker is the special attraction of the Luger Era. We already had Taker coming to Luger's aid at Survivor Series '93. I can just retcon the earlier stuff by making 'Taker Lex's "super partner" against the likes of the Foreign Fanatics, Million Dollar Corporation, and Hart Foundation. As the years roll on, Taker starts becoming jealous due to the corrupting influence of our Bobby Heenan stand in (Cornette? Vince?) until finally snapping a la Andre on Hogan. This all leads to 'Taker taking the belt at Summerslam '97 in a Screwjob bigger than Andre beating Hogan, or even Montreal.

*Speaking of perfect, I'd love to somehow shoehorn Mr. Perfect into this. They teased a renewal of their rivalry at Wrestlemania X but nothing ever came of it due to Mr. P not wanting to ruin his cushy insurance deal. I'll see what I can do....

I think the Patriot becomes superfluous in this universe. I mean, we already have Luger. Is there really a need for Luger Lite? UNLESS....

We bring The Patriot in as Luger's little buddy until....BAM! He turns heel, becoming the Dark Patriot.

I also wouldn't be against Ahmed winning the title at Wrestlemania XIII and becoming Luger 2.0/Hogan 3.0.

Assuming we continue the Lex superpush beyond Wrestlemania XII....

Wrestlemania XII: Defeats Shawn Michaels in the latest Match of the Century
IYH April: Wrestles Goldust to some sort of schmozz finish
IYH May: Defeats Goldust in No DQ Match
KOTR: Defeats Ultimate Warrior in the latest latest Match of the Century
IYH July: w/ Sid & Ahmed loses to Vader and....partners? Mankind & Goldust maybe? Since Owen & Bulldog are probably gone to WCW by this point. Vader becomes the first wrestler to EVER pin Lex in a televised match during his WWF career.
Summerslam: Defeats Vader in the latest latest latest Match of the Century. Probably sets an all time buyrate record in the process.
IYH September: Wrestles Mankind to a schmozzy no contest
IYH October: Defeats Mankind in a Cage Match to prevent outside interference
Survivor Series: Hands red hot KOTR winner Stone Cold Steve Austin his first loss in months
IYH December: Wrestles Faarooq to a no contest after The Nation and Ahmed get involved
Royal Rumble 97: Defeats Faarooq in a No DQ Match
IYH February: Wins a "Last Chance" Final Four match over Vader/Mankind/Austin
Wrestlemania 13: Ends Royal Rumble winner Ahmed Johnson's 18 month undefeated streak in this year's Match of the Century.
*Or loses to Ahmed, setting him up as Luger 2.0/Hogan 3.0?

By this point, Lex has defeated everybody, with many of them realistically defecting to WCW, where they'd at least have a chance at breaking through the glass ceiling. There's really nobody left for Lex to beat unless I get creative by bringing in outsiders. I could bring in Shamrock and the (Dark) Patriot a few months early to bridge the gap to Undertaker winning the belt at Summerslam. Other options include Sid getting another crack at the champ and Mr. Perfect coming back from injury. Brian Pillman, maybe? There aren't many other realistic free agent options beyond them. Aha! I've got the perfect plan. Let's do this.....

IYH April: Defeats Sid
IYH May: Defeats the Dark Patriot
KOTR: Defeats Ken Shamrock in a WWF vs. UFC special attraction. Shamrock puts Lex over after the match as the toughest man he ever faced.
IYH July: Defeats Brian Pillman
Summerslam 97: LOSES to The Undertaker when special guest referee Mr. Perfect calls for the bell while Undertaker has Luger in his new "Ankle Lock" submission. Taker then forfeits the title to Mr. Perfect. Perfect has finally avenged his defeat to Lex Luger at Wrestlemania IX. Mwahahaha. 

-A follow up Luger/Taker match on Raw for the vacant title (Mr. Perfect having been stripped of the title) draws a record 34 million viewers but ends in a no contest.
-Randy Savage Ken Shamrock wins the memorable Tournament For The Title at Survivor Series by beating Mr. Perfect in the finals with help from Lex Luger, who wrestled Undertaker to another no contest earlier in the night.
-Luger wins the 1998 Royal Rumble.
-Shamrock starts getting paranoid and turns on Lex
-Luger defeats Shamrock at Wrestlemania 14 and goes on to rule wrestling for another 4 years. The End.

*OK, I got a little goofy towards the end there. But you know what's not goofy? A 4 year Lex Luger title reign. That's what.

Wrestlemania XV main event: Luger vs. Hogan= One Billion buys

Loving all of this of course. Only think I don't like is how underplayed Sid is as the perfect Hogan 2.0 or bizarro Hogan 2.0, but we can think of ideas to remedy that.

Meanwhile, I think you can maybe get a little more fodder mileage out of Lex's defenses in the first half of 1997 if you do something like:

- Royal Rumble 1997: Lex defends against Sid while Ahmed and Faarooq advance their feud in the Rumble itself, ending us as the final two before Ahmed dumps Farooq to win. Lex vs. Sid ends in DQ due to Vader interference, revealing the Masters of the Powerbomb have reformed in the WWF.

- IYH February 1997: Hogan 2.0 & Hogan 3.0 partner up as WWF Champion Lex tags with his WrestleMania challenger 1997 Royal Rumble winner Ahmed against the Masters of the Powerbomb (I miss your power tag matches on B PPVS). Lex gets his delayed pinfall victory over Sid thanks to a miscues with Vader. The Masters of the Powerbomb are clearly too volatile to exist as a unit for long, so of course they implode (or explode) post-match to set up a Battle of the Powerbombs at WrestleMania to determine the one true master. But this isn't a Sid thread, so ANYWAY...

--OR--
Rather...

The MotP WIN!!~ thanks to a miscue between Lex and Ahmed. Lex and Ahmed are already distrustful of each other because of the predicament that Ahmed's Rumble win has put them in. Or that's what Lex claims. Jealous of Ahmed, Faarooq campaigns that whitey Lex doesn't trust Ahmed because Ahmed is black... Emblematic of the systemic racism running rampant throughout the WWF. Ahmed tells Faarooq to shut up and mind his own business, tries to convince Lex that Lex can trust him, says they've got no issue until Mania. But then at IYH Feb 97, Faarooq leads the Nation of Domination out onto the stage to watch the match. Their presence distracts both Ahmed and legal man Lex. Ahmed goes up the ramp to confront Faarooq and shoo off the Nation. Meanwhile, Lex eats a masterful Double Powerbomb en route to Sid scoring the pinfall. Now Vader and Sid are the only two men with pins on Lex, and they're now tagging to boot!

- WrestleMania XIII: Lex retains against Ahmed in an epic battle. In the buildup, Lex accuses Ahmed of being in cahoots with the Nation. Ahmed swears he isn't. Faarooq will neither confirm nor deny when asked for comment, but says we're long overdue for a black WWF Champion... Even if it's that Uncle Tom Ahmed. On the undercard, I get a Masters of the Powerbomb vs. Legion of Doom tag team title dream match. MotP can implode here when they fail to win.

- IYH April 1997: Faarooq finally gets his rematch against Lex after their inconclusive finish December by arguing Ahmed failed his race by not being big enough, bad enough, but most importantly black enough to defeat Lex. Let's make this a lumberjack match to differentiate from their previous match. Faarooq selects the Nation as his half of the jacks. Lex selects Ahmed, LOD, and whoever else. Lex wins, Faarooq blames Ahmed. On the undercard, the two men with pins over Lex face each other in the Battle of the Powerbomb to see who'll face the champ next. Sid pins Vader to earn the title shot.

- IYH May 1997: Lex gets his pinfall victory over Sid, sending Sid packing to the softball field. On the undercard, Ahmed and LOD defeat the Nation of Domination. Ahmed takes advantage of a miscommunication between Faarooq, Crush, and Savio to pin Faarooq for the win. In the wake of this embarrassing loss, Faarooq disbands the Nation and says he'll rebuild a bigger blacker version. Ken Shamrock submits Vader, debuting his dangerous UFC in-ring stylings.

- King of the Ring 1997: Taker wins the tournament to become the King of the Dead, defeating Ahmed in the finals. Lex defends against Ken in an interesting UFC vs. WWF styles clash. After the match, Faarooq's NEW bigger, blacker EXTREME Nation (including 2 Cold Scorpio, New Jack and Mustafa Saed) attacks both Lex and Ken. Since Lex vs. Ken main events over Taker's tournament win, Taker and even Ahmed are able to come to Lex and Ken's rescue. This sets up...

- IYH July 1997: Lex, Ken, Taker, and Ahmed vs. The Extreme Nation of Faarooq, Scorpio, New Jack & Mustafa. Faarooq wins it for his team by pinning Ahmed. We'll say Ahmed suffers an injury here and is written out until early 1998.

- SummerSlam 1997: Screw Job with the returning Mr. Perfect acting as the special guest referee, counting Taker's victory over Lex. Extreme Nation spins off to feud with Crush's DOA white supremacist group. Add Taker's KOTR crowning being overshadowed to the list of disrespects fueling his heel turn.

I got sidetracked by Sid infatuation per usual, but other possibilities include a Lex vs. Crush match after Faarooq boots the whites from the Nation. Same for Savio, backed by Los Banditos (since I'm blanking on how to spell... Los Borriquas?), but to a lesser degree.

Also, I'm liking Patriot as the perfect Warrior 2.0 stand-in for Lex's Hogan 2.0. We trade facepaint for a mask. I'm also liking making Patriot a mix of Savage 2.0 and Warrior 2.0. He comes in, wins the tournament for the vacant title just like Savage at WrestleMania IV, but business dips with him as champ like it did under Warrior's reign, so we turn him into the Dark Patriot to drop the belt back to 1998 Royal Rumble winner Lex at WMXIV.

🤯 We both overlooked something glaringly obvious. Why derail the Lex Express when it's so close to surpassing Hogan's record? We have less than 2 months to go after Summerslam '97. So.....

Summerslam '97: Beats Undertaker by submission in the Match of the Century (we really mean it this time!). This would be the first time Undertaker ever submitted. Hogan slammed Andre. Luger submits 'Taker. Makes sense.

IYH September '97: Contract signing for the Undertaker rematch.

Raw 9/22/97- Undertaker defeats Lex Luger to win the WWF Championship in the infamous MSG Screwjob featuring an evil twin referee and WWF owner Vince McMahon calling for the bell when 'Taker had Luger trapped in the Ankle Lock. What the hell. We'll throw in Kane's debut too. Only here he sides with his brother to further stack the odds against Lex. Match is watched by 34 million people. Luger's reign ends at 1485 days, 11 more than Hulk Hogan's first title reign. 

*In the end I decided Mr. Perfect and Jim Cornette weren't big enough stars to get the Screwjob rub. It has to be McMahon. Run some storyline where Vince was getting tired of Luger. It doesn't really matter. This whole thing became nonsensical a long time ago. What's one more little piece of nonsense?
========================
🤯 : As for Sid, I'm just not as into him as you are   I see him as the guy who works with the top guy rather than ever being the top guy himself.

He's honestly similar to Lex in a lot of ways, even surpassing him in some metrics, but the thought of building a promotion around Sid has never once crossed my mind in all my years of fantasy booking.

What can I say other than I never had any Sid enthusiasts going to bat for him while I was growing up the way I had all those "Made In The USA" Lex Luger fans forever pimping their hero. My wrestling fan friends growing up were a lot like me in being meh on Sid unless he was in a tag team. 

Can't tell if I should take this as a challenge to book a Sid run as WWF Champion from 1991 through 1998 to top Hogan's first run...

-_-

OK, fine... Challenge accepted!

In this rebooked universe, the main event of SummerSlam 1991 is THE ULTIMATE REMATCH pitting WWF Champion Hulk Hogan once again against the Ultimate Warrior. Since Warrior no longer has a belt of his own at stake, he puts his career on the line instead (perhaps as a tie-in to his match against Savage at WMVII). For a match of such magnitude, we need a special referee. Insert debuting tweener Sid. After some altercation with Sid, Warrior ends up doing the J.O.B. to return the WMVI favor to Hulk. Warrior goes on his walkabout.

The rest of late 1991 remains mostly the same. The unhinged Sid continues to straddle the face/heel line as some lunatic tweener insanely over with the fans. A torn biceps or triceps keeps him out of action at Survivor Series still, but he pops back up in time to participate in the 1992 Royal Rumble for the recently vacated WWF Championship. This is where our story picks up...

- Royal Rumble 1992: Sid pulls a 2020 Brock + 2001 Kane + 1994 Diesel + whatever years Roman Reigns did things... And starts at No. 1 and powerbombs his way through practically EVERYONE. We mix up the real life finish with an eliminated Hogan —eliminated by Flair— tugging on a distracted Flair from the floor to assist Sid with dumping the Nature Boy out to win the Rumble and thus the vacant title. Sid cuts a post-match promo declaring himself the Master and Ruler of the World... Wrestling Federation (classic Sid forgetting lines).

- SNME February 1992: Sid & Hogan tag to defeat Flair & Taker. Flair walks out on Taker during the match, furthering Taker's recent face turn. Taker puts up a good fight but the numbers are too much too overcome... Especially when those numbers are Sid & Hogan. Hogan blind tags himself in as Sid is delivering an impressive powerbomb, hits an arguably unnecessary leg drop, and steals what should've been Sid's pin on Taker.

- At that press conference, Hogan does the Sid spot of just presuming he's been named the number one contender for WrestleMania. After all, he was the only guy Sid didn't eliminate at the Rumble; he's one of the two former world champs prior to the Rumble (the other being Taker); and he just pinned Taker in a high profile match. Plus, he's Hulk f'n Hogan and WrestleMania is the house Hulkamania built. Instead, Hulk ends up with egg on his face as the returning Ultimate Warrior is named as Sid's challenger for WrestleMania. Flair does his best Nelson impression with a HAW-HAW and finger point aimed at Hogan.

- WrestleMania VIII: Sid retains against Warrior. In the co-main event, Hogan defeats Flair but then fucks off to Hollywood. On the undercard, Savage murders Jake to avenge Liz... and let's say now fully face Taker battles Papa Shango.

- House Show Loop: Sid has that Brock-like part-time schedule. So he's off to play softball or do whatever keeps him happy. Meanwhile, despite losing to Hogan, Flair positions himself for the SummerSlam 1992 title shot by claiming he ran Hogan out of the WWF. To more formally establish him as the number one contender, perhaps Flair beats Savage in the main events of house shows in Sid's absence. Flair starts calling Sid out for being M.I.A. as champ.

- SummerSlam 1992: Sid retains against Flair with a sick powerbomb. Since this event is taking place in England, Sid allows Bret vs. Bulldog for the IC title to close the show... Mainly so Sid can catch an earlier flight back to the States. On the undercard, Savage gets his WrestleMania VII win back over Warrior to become next in line for a world title shot. Jobbing at back-to-back PPVs upsets Warrior enough to walk out post-SummerSlam.

- House Show Loop: More softball for Sid, I guess. Savage maintains his status as number one contender by beating Flair in a reversal of the deal featured on the previous house show loop. Flair blames his recent string of losses on his executive consultant, Mr. Perfect.

- Survivor Series 1992: Sid retains against Savage with a powerbomb after newcomer Razor Ramon saunters down to ringside and flicks a toothpick in Savage's eye. After their relationship imploded on the house show loop, Flair and Perfect captain opposing Survivor Series teams on the undercard. Perfect's team (the Reflection of Perfection) defeats Flair's team (The Nature Boys).

- House Show Loop: Savage & Perfect tag against Razor & Flair while Sid Sids.

- Royal Rumble 1993: After winning last year's Rumble from the number one slot to win the vacant world title, Sid is put in position to make history again by DEFENDING the world title IN THE RUMBLE... FROM THE NUMBER ONE POSITION AGAIN! AND HE DOES! Razor/Savage and Perfect/Flair advance their feuds in the Rumble, but Sid eliminates practically everyone else. Final elimination is Yoko, I guess?

=====

Goddammit, Wife! TO BE CONTINUED...

Jul 17, 2020 3:03:23 GMT 🤯 said:

OK, fine... Challenge accepted!

In this rebooked universe, the main event of SummerSlam 1991 is THE ULTIMATE REMATCH pitting WWF Champion Hulk Hogan once again against the Ultimate Warrior. Since Warrior no longer has a belt of his own at stake, he puts his career on the line instead (perhaps as a tie-in to his match against Savage at WMVII). For a match of such magnitude, we need a special referee. Insert debuting tweener Sid. After some altercation with Sid, Warrior ends up doing the J.O.B. to return the WMVI favor to Hulk. Warrior goes on his walkabout.

The rest of late 1991 remains mostly the same. The unhinged Sid continues to straddle the face/heel line as some lunatic tweener insanely over with the fans. A torn biceps or triceps keeps him out of action at Survivor Series still, but he pops back up in time to participate in the 1992 Royal Rumble for the recently vacated WWF Championship. This is where our story picks up...

- Royal Rumble 1992: Sid pulls a 2020 Brock + 2001 Kane + 1994 Diesel + whatever years Roman Reigns did things... And starts at No. 1 and powerbombs his way through practically EVERYONE. We mix up the real life finish with an eliminated Hogan —eliminated by Flair— tugging on a distracted Flair from the floor to assist Sid with dumping the Nature Boy out to win the Rumble and thus the vacant title. Sid cuts a post-match promo declaring himself the Master and Ruler of the World... Wrestling Federation (classic Sid forgetting lines).

- SNME February 1992: Sid & Hogan tag to defeat Flair & Taker. Flair walks out on Taker during the match, furthering Taker's recent face turn. Taker puts up a good fight but the numbers are too much too overcome... Especially when those numbers are Sid & Hogan. Hogan blind tags himself in as Sid is delivering an impressive powerbomb, hits an arguably unnecessary leg drop, and steals what should've been Sid's pin on Taker.

- At that press conference, Hogan does the Sid spot of just presuming he's been named the number one contender for WrestleMania. After all, he was the only guy Sid didn't eliminate at the Rumble; he's one of the two former world champs prior to the Rumble (the other being Taker); and he just pinned Taker in a high profile match. Plus, he's Hulk f'n Hogan and WrestleMania is the house Hulkamania built. Instead, Hulk ends up with egg on his face as the returning Ultimate Warrior is named as Sid's challenger for WrestleMania. Flair does his best Nelson impression with a HAW-HAW and finger point aimed at Hogan.

- WrestleMania VIII: Sid retains against Warrior. In the co-main event, Hogan defeats Flair but then fucks off to Hollywood. On the undercard, Savage murders Jake to avenge Liz... and let's say now fully face Taker battles Papa Shango.

- House Show Loop: Sid has that Brock-like part-time schedule. So he's off to play softball or do whatever keeps him happy. Meanwhile, despite losing to Hogan, Flair positions himself for the SummerSlam 1992 title shot by claiming he ran Hogan out of the WWF. To more formally establish him as the number one contender, perhaps Flair beats Savage in the main events of house shows in Sid's absence. Flair starts calling Sid out for being M.I.A. as champ.

- SummerSlam 1992: Sid retains against Flair with a sick powerbomb. Since this event is taking place in England, Sid allows Bret vs. Bulldog for the IC title to close the show... Mainly so Sid can catch an earlier flight back to the States. On the undercard, Savage gets his WrestleMania VII win back over Warrior to become next in line for a world title shot. Jobbing at back-to-back PPVs upsets Warrior enough to walk out post-SummerSlam.

- House Show Loop: More softball for Sid, I guess. Savage maintains his status as number one contender by beating Flair in a reversal of the deal featured on the previous house show loop. Flair blames his recent string of losses on his executive consultant, Mr. Perfect.

- Survivor Series 1992: Sid retains against Savage with a powerbomb after newcomer Razor Ramon saunters down to ringside and flicks a toothpick in Savage's eye. After their relationship imploded on the house show loop, Flair and Perfect captain opposing Survivor Series teams on the undercard. Perfect's team (the Reflection of Perfection) defeats Flair's team (The Nature Boys).

- House Show Loop: Savage & Perfect tag against Razor & Flair while Sid Sids.

- Royal Rumble 1993: After winning last year's Rumble from the number one slot to win the vacant world title, Sid is put in position to make history again by DEFENDING the world title IN THE RUMBLE... FROM THE NUMBER ONE POSITION AGAIN! AND HE DOES! Razor/Savage and Perfect/Flair advance their feuds in the Rumble, but Sid eliminates practically everyone else. Final elimination is Yoko, I guess?

=====

Goddammit, Wife! TO BE CONTINUED...

Picking up where we last left off...

- WrestleMania IX: Sid retains against Hogan with a back-breaking Powerbomb that sends Hogan into retirement. Even if his back wasn't broken, Hogan's career was on the line anyway to counterbalance Sid's title being at stake.

The road here was a hellacious one.

After winning and then retaining the title in back-to-back Rumbles, a bored and surly Sid wants to know who's next at WrestleMania. A returning Brutus Beefcake announces his BFF Hulk Hogan will be returning soon, and as a man Sid has never eliminated from a Rumble or beaten one-on-one in a match... Hogan is coming for Sid's title. Beefcake adds he'll be at Hogan's side the whole way to support his BFF because his BFF supported him the whole way through his recovery. Sid seems to be down with adding Hogan to the list of icons he's destroyed... And just because he's Sid, he big boots Beefcake in Beefcake's surgically-repaired face and then drops a big leg drop on Beefcake's screwed-together orbital bone to send a message to Hogan. Instant blood feud, as Hogan must now avenge his BFF on top of finally reclaiming the title. Sid leverages Hogan's heightened emotional state to convince Hogan to put his career on the line.

ANYWAY...

Beefcake still seconds Hogan at WrestleMania, although now wearing a protective mask. Beefcake tries to get his own vengeance during the match by going after Sid on the outside with a steel chair... But Sid just boots it right back into Beefcake's masked face. To keep Beefcake from interfering further, Sid tips the mask off and BLASTS Beefcake with the title belt. Blood everywhere! A distraught and distracted Hogan is easy pickings. Powerbomb, broken back, pinfall, stretcher job. Despite Sid's heinous acts of violence against their supposed heroes, the rabid fans are LOVING everything he does.

**SOFTBALL**

- King of the Ring 1993: Sid retains against Lex Luger. Too smug for his own good, The Narcissist respects what Sid has done to-date in the WWF but claims he himself would've done just as well while doing so much better had he been gifted some of the same opportunities... which he feels he's always deserved, but is willing to overlook all the disrespect. Talk about a chip on his shoulder! Sid is always happy to powerbomb idiots into oblivion, so he takes the match and ultimately wins... Because that's what he does. The humiliating loss causes Lex to start to have a change of heart. Meanwhile, Bret wins the tournament by defeating Razor, Perfect, and Bigelow.

**SOFTBALL**

- SummerSlam 1993: Sid vs. Yokozuna ends in a no contest after Sid hits the Powerbomb Heard Around the World and THE RING COLLAPSES! Lex unsuccessfully challenges Shawn for the IC title, losing thanks to Dieselference.

**SOFTBALL**

- Survivor Series 1993: Sid captains a team with the now-face Lex and the Steiner Brothers (a.k.a. Team WCW?) to defeat the Beasts from the East: Yokozuna, Bam Bam Bigelow, and the Headshrinkers. Clean sweep for Team WCW when Yoko opts for a count-out instead of risking another ring-flattening powerbomb. Over the winter, the Steiners parlay the momentum of this victory into a tag title win over the Quebecers. Also over the winter, Ludvig Borga starts calling out Sid to face him at the Rumble... Unless Sid is too pussy, like all Americans. Borga REALLY draws Sid's ire though when he ignorantly conflates baseball with Sid's beloved softball, calling it a boring national pastime.

- Royal Rumble 1994: Sid retains against Bam Bam Bigelow, who is a last minute replacement for the injured Borga (who's actual injury status is doubtful... Rumor is the Helsinki Hellraiser was too pussy himself to face Sid's softball wrath). Yokozuna wins the Rumble after last eliminating Lex. Uh oh, a rematch of epic proportions is now set!

- WrestleMania X: Sid retains against Yoko via pinfall after a powerbomb in the middle of a heavily reinforced ring. On the undercard, Owen upsets big brother Bret in a curtain-jerking grudge match and Razor retains the IC title against Shawn in the first-ever* ladder match.

**SOFTBALL**

- King of the Ring 1994: Sid retains against Roddy Piper in a wild out-of-control brawl, thanks in part to some biased officiating from Jerry Lawler against Hot Rod. Meanwhile, Bret becomes the first-ever back-to-back King of the Ring when he gets his WrestleMania win back over little brother Owen in the finals.

- SummerSlam 1994: Back-to-back Royal Rumble winner Sid retains against back-to-back King of the Ring Bret in Sid's best match to date. Finish sees backfiring interference from Owen cost Bret in the end, setting the brothers up for their rubber cage match blowoff down the line. Owen eats a post-match powerbomb for his trouble. On the undercard, Undertaker defeats Undertaker.

**SOFTBALL**

Survivor Series 1994: Sid retains in a Diesel-like squash against Mr. Bob Backlund, who claims he lost the title over a decade ago without being pinned or submitted... which means he's still champion! So Sid pins him with a powerbomb outta the gate. On the undercard, Taker defeats Yoko in a casket match with a Chuck Norris assist and Bret beats Owen in a cage match.

**SOFTBALL**

Royal Rumble 1995: Sid retains against tag champion Diesel after fellow. tag champ Shawn's interference backfires. Dudes with Attitudes finally split as a result of this, and will face off at WrestleMania with the winner gaining full control of the tag belts and picking a new partner. Meanwhile, special guest Lawrence Taylor is the surprise #30 in the Rumble... and HE FUCKING WINS by last eliminating Lawler, who'd been hiding under the ring the whole time.

**SOFTBALL**

WrestleMania XI: Sid retains against LT in a Softball vs. Football battle for the ages, drawing ALL THE DIMES.

=====

I'll be back after this drug test to wade into the In Your House era. Wish me luck!

Jul 17, 2020 13:53:44 GMT 🤯 said:

Jul 17, 2020 3:03:23 GMT 🤯 said:

OK, fine... Challenge accepted!

In this rebooked universe, the main event of SummerSlam 1991 is THE ULTIMATE REMATCH pitting WWF Champion Hulk Hogan once again against the Ultimate Warrior. Since Warrior no longer has a belt of his own at stake, he puts his career on the line instead (perhaps as a tie-in to his match against Savage at WMVII). For a match of such magnitude, we need a special referee. Insert debuting tweener Sid. After some altercation with Sid, Warrior ends up doing the J.O.B. to return the WMVI favor to Hulk. Warrior goes on his walkabout.

The rest of late 1991 remains mostly the same. The unhinged Sid continues to straddle the face/heel line as some lunatic tweener insanely over with the fans. A torn biceps or triceps keeps him out of action at Survivor Series still, but he pops back up in time to participate in the 1992 Royal Rumble for the recently vacated WWF Championship. This is where our story picks up...

- Royal Rumble 1992: Sid pulls a 2020 Brock + 2001 Kane + 1994 Diesel + whatever years Roman Reigns did things... And starts at No. 1 and powerbombs his way through practically EVERYONE. We mix up the real life finish with an eliminated Hogan —eliminated by Flair— tugging on a distracted Flair from the floor to assist Sid with dumping the Nature Boy out to win the Rumble and thus the vacant title. Sid cuts a post-match promo declaring himself the Master and Ruler of the World... Wrestling Federation (classic Sid forgetting lines).

- SNME February 1992: Sid & Hogan tag to defeat Flair & Taker. Flair walks out on Taker during the match, furthering Taker's recent face turn. Taker puts up a good fight but the numbers are too much too overcome... Especially when those numbers are Sid & Hogan. Hogan blind tags himself in as Sid is delivering an impressive powerbomb, hits an arguably unnecessary leg drop, and steals what should've been Sid's pin on Taker.

- At that press conference, Hogan does the Sid spot of just presuming he's been named the number one contender for WrestleMania. After all, he was the only guy Sid didn't eliminate at the Rumble; he's one of the two former world champs prior to the Rumble (the other being Taker); and he just pinned Taker in a high profile match. Plus, he's Hulk f'n Hogan and WrestleMania is the house Hulkamania built. Instead, Hulk ends up with egg on his face as the returning Ultimate Warrior is named as Sid's challenger for WrestleMania. Flair does his best Nelson impression with a HAW-HAW and finger point aimed at Hogan.

- WrestleMania VIII: Sid retains against Warrior. In the co-main event, Hogan defeats Flair but then fucks off to Hollywood. On the undercard, Savage murders Jake to avenge Liz... and let's say now fully face Taker battles Papa Shango.

- House Show Loop: Sid has that Brock-like part-time schedule. So he's off to play softball or do whatever keeps him happy. Meanwhile, despite losing to Hogan, Flair positions himself for the SummerSlam 1992 title shot by claiming he ran Hogan out of the WWF. To more formally establish him as the number one contender, perhaps Flair beats Savage in the main events of house shows in Sid's absence. Flair starts calling Sid out for being M.I.A. as champ.

- SummerSlam 1992: Sid retains against Flair with a sick powerbomb. Since this event is taking place in England, Sid allows Bret vs. Bulldog for the IC title to close the show... Mainly so Sid can catch an earlier flight back to the States. On the undercard, Savage gets his WrestleMania VII win back over Warrior to become next in line for a world title shot. Jobbing at back-to-back PPVs upsets Warrior enough to walk out post-SummerSlam.

- House Show Loop: More softball for Sid, I guess. Savage maintains his status as number one contender by beating Flair in a reversal of the deal featured on the previous house show loop. Flair blames his recent string of losses on his executive consultant, Mr. Perfect.

- Survivor Series 1992: Sid retains against Savage with a powerbomb after newcomer Razor Ramon saunters down to ringside and flicks a toothpick in Savage's eye. After their relationship imploded on the house show loop, Flair and Perfect captain opposing Survivor Series teams on the undercard. Perfect's team (the Reflection of Perfection) defeats Flair's team (The Nature Boys).

- House Show Loop: Savage & Perfect tag against Razor & Flair while Sid Sids.

- Royal Rumble 1993: After winning last year's Rumble from the number one slot to win the vacant world title, Sid is put in position to make history again by DEFENDING the world title IN THE RUMBLE... FROM THE NUMBER ONE POSITION AGAIN! AND HE DOES! Razor/Savage and Perfect/Flair advance their feuds in the Rumble, but Sid eliminates practically everyone else. Final elimination is Yoko, I guess?

=====

Goddammit, Wife! TO BE CONTINUED...

Picking up where we last left off...

- WrestleMania IX: Sid retains against Hogan with a back-breaking Powerbomb that sends Hogan into retirement. Even if his back wasn't broken, Hogan's career was on the line anyway to counterbalance Sid's title being at stake.

The road here was a hellacious one.

After winning and then retaining the title in back-to-back Rumbles, a bored and surly Sid wants to know who's next at WrestleMania. A returning Brutus Beefcake announces his BFF Hulk Hogan will be returning soon, and as a man Sid has never eliminated from a Rumble or beaten one-on-one in a match... Hogan is coming for Sid's title. Beefcake adds he'll be at Hogan's side the whole way to support his BFF because his BFF supported him the whole way through his recovery. Sid seems to be down with adding Hogan to the list of icons he's destroyed... And just because he's Sid, he big boots Beefcake in Beefcake's surgically-repaired face and then drops a big leg drop on Beefcake's screwed-together orbital bone to send a message to Hogan. Instant blood feud, as Hogan must now avenge his BFF on top of finally reclaiming the title. Sid leverages Hogan's heightened emotional state to convince Hogan to put his career on the line.

ANYWAY...

Beefcake still seconds Hogan at WrestleMania, although now wearing a protective mask. Beefcake tries to get his own vengeance during the match by going after Sid on the outside with a steel chair... But Sid just boots it right back into Beefcake's masked face. To keep Beefcake from interfering further, Sid tips the mask off and BLASTS Beefcake with the title belt. Blood everywhere! A distraught and distracted Hogan is easy pickings. Powerbomb, broken back, pinfall, stretcher job. Despite Sid's heinous acts of violence against their supposed heroes, the rabid fans are LOVING everything he does.

**SOFTBALL**

- King of the Ring 1993: Sid retains against Lex Luger. Too smug for his own good, The Narcissist respects what Sid has done to-date in the WWF but claims he himself would've done just as well while doing so much better had he been gifted some of the same opportunities... which he feels he's always deserved, but is willing to overlook all the disrespect. Talk about a chip on his shoulder! Sid is always happy to powerbomb idiots into oblivion, so he takes the match and ultimately wins... Because that's what he does. The humiliating loss causes Lex to start to have a change of heart. Meanwhile, Bret wins the tournament by defeating Razor, Perfect, and Bigelow.

**SOFTBALL**

- SummerSlam 1993: Sid vs. Yokozuna ends in a no contest after Sid hits the Powerbomb Heard Around the World and THE RING COLLAPSES! Lex unsuccessfully challenges Shawn for the IC title, losing thanks to Dieselference.

**SOFTBALL**

- Survivor Series 1993: Sid captains a team with the now-face Lex and the Steiner Brothers (a.k.a. Team WCW?) to defeat the Beasts from the East: Yokozuna, Bam Bam Bigelow, and the Headshrinkers. Clean sweep for Team WCW when Yoko opts for a count-out instead of risking another ring-flattening powerbomb. Over the winter, the Steiners parlay the momentum of this victory into a tag title win over the Quebecers. Also over the winter, Ludvig Borga starts calling out Sid to face him at the Rumble... Unless Sid is too pussy, like all Americans. Borga REALLY draws Sid's ire though when he ignorantly conflates baseball with Sid's beloved softball, calling it a boring national pastime.

- Royal Rumble 1994: Sid retains against Bam Bam Bigelow, who is a last minute replacement for the injured Borga (who's actual injury status is doubtful... Rumor is the Helsinki Hellraiser was too pussy himself to face Sid's softball wrath). Yokozuna wins the Rumble after last eliminating Lex. Uh oh, a rematch of epic proportions is now set!

- WrestleMania X: Sid retains against Yoko via pinfall after a powerbomb in the middle of a heavily reinforced ring. On the undercard, Owen upsets big brother Bret in a curtain-jerking grudge match and Razor retains the IC title against Shawn in the first-ever* ladder match.

**SOFTBALL**

- King of the Ring 1994: Sid retains against Roddy Piper in a wild out-of-control brawl, thanks in part to some biased officiating from Jerry Lawler against Hot Rod. Meanwhile, Bret becomes the first-ever back-to-back King of the Ring when he gets his WrestleMania win back over little brother Owen in the finals.

- SummerSlam 1994: Back-to-back Royal Rumble winner Sid retains against back-to-back King of the Ring Bret in Sid's best match to date. Finish sees backfiring interference from Owen cost Bret in the end, setting the brothers up for their rubber cage match blowoff down the line. Owen eats a post-match powerbomb for his trouble. On the undercard, Undertaker defeats Undertaker.

**SOFTBALL**

Survivor Series 1994: Sid retains in a Diesel-like squash against Mr. Bob Backlund, who claims he lost the title over a decade ago without being pinned or submitted... which means he's still champion! So Sid pins him with a powerbomb outta the gate. On the undercard, Taker defeats Yoko in a casket match with a Chuck Norris assist and Bret beats Owen in a cage match.

**SOFTBALL**

Royal Rumble 1995: Sid retains against tag champion Diesel after fellow. tag champ Shawn's interference backfires. Dudes with Attitudes finally split as a result of this, and will face off at WrestleMania with the winner gaining full control of the tag belts and picking a new partner. Meanwhile, special guest Lawrence Taylor is the surprise #30 in the Rumble... and HE FUCKING WINS by last eliminating Lawler, who'd been hiding under the ring the whole time.

**SOFTBALL**

WrestleMania XI: Sid retains against LT in a Softball vs. Football battle for the ages, drawing ALL THE DIMES.

=====

I'll be back after this drug test to wade into the In Your House era. Wish me luck!

Waiting to piss, what better way to pass the time!?

- IYH May 1995: Sid retains against the Million Dollar Corporation in a Grave Consequences Gauntlet Match (sorry, Taker, giving this idea to Sid). As a result, MDC must file for bankruptcy. Before this event, after defeating Shawn at WrestleMania to gain full control of the tag belts, Diesel asks Sid to be his new partner. Sid says he'll think about it and reveal his decision after he's dealt with the MDC. Diesel seconds Sid here, despite Sid not asking him to, and prevents outside interference from MDC members not directly involved in the match. In the wake of this event, Sid accepts Diesel's offer and they form a tenuous tandem.

- King of the Ring 1995: Sid & Diesel drop the tag titles to Owen & Yoko (Owen pins Diesel after Yoko does most of the heavy lifting). After the match, Sid powerbombs Diesel to end their brief relationship. Sid is a lone wolf who wants no part of any wolf pack. He's no beta, he's the Alpha AND Omega. Meanwhile, a now-face Shawn wins the KOTR tournament because Baker-man's rebooking is perfection. Although I'm not sure how the details change since I'm taking Owen out of the tournament.

- IYH July 1995: Owen leverages pinning Diesel to technically defeat Sid as well at the last PPV into this title shot. The match is ruled a no contest when Yoko interferes after Sid splats Owen with a powerbomb, and then Diesel runs in... Less to make the save, more to send a message to Sid by jackknifing Yoko. On the undercard, HBK wins the IC belt off of JJ.

- SummerSlam 1995: Sid retains against Diesel in a Powerbomb vs. Jackknife battle... But it's by DQ. Having maintained his own tweener edge instead of becoming a baby-kissing babyface, Diesel wallops Sid with a steel chair repeatedly as payback for Sid turning on him a few months back. Diesel continues to waylay Sid after the match with the chair. Envision the kind of post-match chaos from Brock/Taker I @ Unforgiven 2002. Then on the undercard, HBK retains the IC belt against Razor in a ladder match rematch... And let's say Owen & Yoko retain the tag titles against Bret & Bulldog when Bulldog turns on Bret to join Camp Cornette. And, I dunno... Let's say Taker kills off Lex to send Lex packing to WCW.

- IYH September 1995: All Sid and Diesel really want in the wake of SummerSlam is to get their hands on each other in another match to settle their issue. However, WWF management says it's clearly too much of a liability to book them against each other while tempers are still running so hot. So, in an attempt to temporarily appease all parties involved, we get... Sid retaining against Bulldog, thanks in part to Bret interference... And a reunited Dudes with Attitudes defeating Owen & Yoko for the tag belts when Diesel pins Yoko with an impressive Jackknife.

- IYH October 1995: Bret beats Bulldog in their real life match from IYH December 1995 to become number one contender for Survivor Series. Diesel & HBK retain the tag belts against Razor & Kid, with a temper tantrum-prone Kid walking out on Razor after not feeling like he was performing up to Razor's standards. Meanwhile, claiming it was Yoko (not he) who lost the tag titles, Owen demands another crack at Sid considering Sid never technically beat Owen. Sid recalls their last match being a no contest as a result of outside interference, so agrees to give Owen a rematch... INSIDE A STEEL CAGE to prevent outside interference from happening again. Owen has signed his death warrant. The match is an inverted David vs. Goliath game of cat and mouse. In the end, Sid retains via escape when he walks out after powerbombing Owen off all four sides of the cage and then splatting him with a fifth in the middle for good measure. RIP Owen.

- Survivor Series 1995: Sid retains against Bret in a rematch from SummerSlam 1994... This time with no Owen interference as an excuse because RIP Owen from last month. Bret continues to give Sid the best matches of Sid's career. Sid retains via count-out after powerbombing Bret through the broadcast table at ringside. E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB! On the undercard, Dudes with Attitudes co-captain a Kliq team with Razor & Kid against Camp Cornette plus Goldust. Kid is the only member of Team Kliq eliminated, and he kinda blames Razor for it.

- IYH December 1995: Sid retains against Razor after Kid fucks Razor by finally turning outright heel on the Bad Guy. Saddest thing about this rebook is not finding a way to shoehorn in a Sid & The Kid tag title run. After the match, Diesel runs in and jackknifes Sid. Diesel drops a pipe bomb promo about waiting long enough... It's time to finish his issue with Sid where it started, one year ago, at the Royal Rumble.

- Royal Rumble 1996: Sid retains against Diesel in a Last Man Standing match that sees Sid get up from two jackknifes and Diesel get up from two powerbombs before finally staying down for the ten-count after a third. HBK wins the Rumble.

- IYH February 1996: HBK defends his WrestleMania title shot against Diesel in their real life No Holds Barred Match from IYH April 1996. In the buildup to this match, Dudes with Attitudes drop the tag belts to the Smoking Gunns. But that's really neither here nor there. Back to this event... Sid defends the title against IC Champion Goldust.

- WrestleMania XII: Sid mauls and murders Shawn to retain, turning the boyhood dream into a full-grown nightmare. After the match, a returning Ultimate Warrior attacks Sid (four years removed from their championship clash at WrestleMania VIII). On the undercard, Taker defeats Diesel... Vader defeats Yoko... Owen & Bulldog defeat the Gunns for the tag titles... Razor defeats Kid... Ahmed beats Goldust for the IC belt... Et cetera, et cetera.

=====

I'll be back later for the last leg of this run!

Home stretch!

=====

After his fifth straight successful WrestleMania world title defense in a row, Sid is getting a bit restless and cranky. Since the introduction of the monthly PPV model, his free time for softball has been significantly impacted. Not that he's not being handsomely compensated for his time off the softball field, but still... The heart wants what the heart wants. Like Bruno before him, Sid helps devise a plan to get the title onto someone else for a bit at some point next year.

Now, picking up where we last left off...

- IYH April 1996: Seeking to avenge his WrestleMania VIII title loss, Warrior is a little too hot-headed here. He and Sid end up brawling on the outside, where Warrior gorilla presses Sid onto the broadcast table at ringside and then hits his trademark splash from the apron onto Sid and through the table. Warrior recovers first and rolls back into the ring just in the nick of time. Warrior technically gets his win back over Sid via count-out, but Warrior isn't satisfied since he didn't win the title. On the undercard, the heartbroken Heartbreak Kid sends Diesel packing to WCW in their rubber match. Vader kills of Razor, sending him packing to WCW as well
Ahmed retains the IC title in a rematch against Goldust.

- IYH May 1996: Sid retains against Warrior in their rubber match, which is booked to take places within the confines of a steel cage with the hope being that the bars can somehow contain the chaos. Doing the job leads to Warrior quitting. Again. On the undercard, Vader murders Shawn with a powerbomb to become the next number one contender.

- King of the Ring 1996: Sid wrestles Vader to a no contest in a Powerbomb Battle, with the match ending in a schmoz after the rest of Camp Cornette runs in along with HBK. Meanwhile, Austin 3:16 is born after Stone Cold wins the King of the Ring tournament. Also on the undercard, newcomer Mankind does the unthinkable by upsetting Taker.

- IYH July 1996: Sid wrestles Ahmed in a champion vs. champion showcase to determine whether the powerbomb or Pearl River Plunge is the more powerful finish. For the second time in as many PPV title defenses, things end in a schmoz no contest when the champions' respective SummerSlam challengers run in. Vader attacks Sid (after defeating HBK in a stretcher match on the undercard to reconfirm his number one contender status), and newcomer Faarooq attacks Ahmed. Ahmed ends up shoot injured as a result of the attack.

- SummerSlam 1996: Sid retains against Vader conclusively in a battle of the powerbombs. On the undercard, Paul Bearer turns on Taker and assists Mankind to another surprise victory in the first-ever boiler room Brawl. 1996 KOTR Stone Cold cheats to pick up a big win over Yoko in Yoko's last televised WWF match. Ahmed vacates the IC belt to Faarooq, who subsequently loses it to Marc Mero.

- IYH September 1996: Mankind defeats Sid by DQ when Taker comes out of a ringside casket and attacks Mankind as payback for all his recent bullshit. Just because he's Sid, Sid powerbombs Mankind's carcass out of the ring and through the empty casket after the match. On the undercard, crafty ol' HBK out-cheats 1996 KOTR Stone Cold to pick up a win and thereby become number one contender.

- IYH October 1996: Sid retains against HBK in a WrestleMania Rematch after a bitter Austin interferes to cost the man who beat him last month. Taker defeats Mankind in a casket match. It's announced Bret Hart will be returning and will be Sid's next challenger next month at Survivor Series.

- Survivor Series 1996: Sid retains against Bret for the third time in as many years... for the second year in a row at Survivor Series (and now I'm realizing I probably should've put more thought into building up fresh opponents for Sid... but oh well, it is what it is at this point). Anyway... Bret throws a small fit after the match, hinting at the start of an epic heel turn. Maybe this is where Sid says enough is enough, he misses softball and wants at least next month off.

- IYH December 1996: Taker defeats Mankind in a Buried Alive Match to tie up their feud at two wins a piece and become number one contender. Sid either gets the month off, or maybe he has an easy one-off filler defense. If we keep the streak going, let's say Sid retains against Stone Cold.

- Royal Rumble 1997: Taker wins the Rumble after last eliminating Stone Cold, who illegally reentered the Rumble after being eliminated by Bret. Bret and HBK round out the Final Four. Sid defends against a returning Faarooq, thanks to a returning Ahmed to help neutralize the Nation of Domination.

- IYH February 1997: Sid retains against Ahmed, with the Nation of Domination watching on from the stage. The main event sees Taker retain his WrestleMania title shot in a final four match against Bret, Austin, and Vader (sub. for a smile-less HBK).

- WrestleMania 13: Goes down pretty much exactly as it did in real life... Just now Taker is ending Sid's 5+ year run as champ. Sid rides off into the sunset to make up for all that lost time on the softball field.

🤯 actually did it. 5 years and 2 months of Sid ruling the world. The absolute madman.

Initial Reaction: Young Baker really hopes WCW was good during this stretch because 5 years and 2 months of Sid as champ would have put him right off his once-beloved WWF 

Jul 17, 2020 13:53:44 GMT 🤯 said:

Jul 17, 2020 3:03:23 GMT 🤯 said:

- Royal Rumble 1994: Sid retains against Bam Bam Bigelow, who is a last minute replacement for the injured Borga (who's actual injury status is doubtful... Rumor is the Helsinki Hellraiser was too pussy himself to face Sid's softball wrath). 

LIES! No doubt perpetrated by parsimonious pro-Sid propagandists.

I'll have to read through the rest more thoroughly at some point. As for now, I'll just make a few nitpicky comments on some things I saw....

Softball is not played in the winter! Softball season realistically runs from March to October. So Sid should be available to work the house show circuit during off season months.

Too much Bret/Sid. To his credit, PI admits this himself. Repeat matches were one of my biggest concerns during the Luger project. At some point, you start running out of viable opponents.

Be back tonight with my Mr. Wonderful rebook. Started working on it last night. Got sidetracked as usual. It turned into a lot of Storytiming before I even got to Mr. Wonderful. No big surprise there.

Jul 17, 2020 20:39:25 GMT Baker said:

I'll have to read through the rest more thoroughly at some point. As for now, I'll just make a few nitpicky comments on some things I saw....

Softball is not played in the winter! Softball season realistically runs from March to October. So Sid should be available to work the house show circuit during off season months.

Too much Bret/Sid. To his credit, PI admits this himself. Repeat matches were one of my biggest concerns during the Luger project. At some point, you start running out of viable opponents.

Thank you for the softball clarification! I never actually knew when it was played since I just figured it was the alternative to golf for leisurely sports-based adult pastimes for hapless corporate drones. And for the butch dike girls in high school and college. Anyone have any idea what team/league Sid played on/in? What position? God bless him for having such a strong passion for the game!

The thing that really killed me about going back to the Bret well was that in this universe Bret isn't really all that special at all. It's not like he's been a world champion at any point even. So why does he keep getting cracks at Sid like he's some big deal?! At least Diesel and Vader were as physically imposing as Sid. I guess the rebooking effort gets too expansive if I have to do things wildly different beyond Sid's booking... Like build up fresh believable opponents.

Anyway... Not 100% happy with what I laid out. Would love to one day refine, maybe based on the actual softball season. Sid just ends up with a lot of title reigns instead of one long one. Coming back each year to win the title at Survivor Series and then drop it at WrestleMania before pacing out for the next softball season. Maybe tomorrow I'll give that a shot.

Jul 17, 2020 23:05:37 GMT 🤯 said:

Jul 17, 2020 20:39:25 GMT Baker said:

Thank you for the softball clarification! I never actually knew when it was played since I just figured it was the alternative to golf for leisurely sports-based adult pastimes for hapless corporate drones. And for the butch dike girls in high school and college. Anyone have any idea what team/league Sid played on/in? What position? God bless him for having such a strong passion for the game!

I actually just looked this up but could find nothing. Not even rumors. Only thing I did find was a few Sid interviews where he claims the whole softball thing was blown out of proportion.

I get the softball/golf comparison. Growing up, I always had this idea that softball was the leisure activity of the beer-drinking working class, while golf served that same role for the wine-sipping hoity toity types. I was obviously wrong. I mean, my own father played both. As did many of the other dad's I grew up around.

And now for some softball talk.....

I know entirely too much about the softball world because of my brother. And let me tell ya, hardcore softball is wild. You have no idea how seriously some of these people take it. 

I played on and off from approximately 2003-2011. Just in local leagues once a week with a bunch of guys I grew up with. It got me out of the house one day a week, kept me somewhat active, and allowed me to keep in touch with people I had drifted apart from.

Then there was my brother. Oh boy! He was our best player by a country mile and quickly ended up getting sucked into the strange world of hardcore softball. He'd play in tournaments year round* as far away as Las Vegas. Now a lot of these tournaments were local(ish), but about 3 or 4 times a year he'd go off to some faraway state for a softball tournament. 

*Upon further review, I was wrong when I said softball season ran from March-October. I distinctly remember playing on Election Day (November) 2010. And my brother played in at least one indoor tournament every winter in Pennsylvania. So Sid actually could have played year round if he was hardcore enough. 

Weekend warriors making fools of themselves once a week like I did is one thing. But this shit was Serious Business to the hardcore softballers like my brother. These guys would pay hundreds, if not thousands of dollars every year on equipment and travel. Most of the best players were (allegedly) on roids. Almost every hardcore player doctored their bats. Everybody knew this. The trick was not to get caught. There are all sorts of tricks for doctoring these bats, by the way. Then you had all these different "conferences" with slightly different rules. From Wikipedia: "There are many different sanctioning bodies of softball: USSSA, ASA, ISA, NSA, WSL, USFA, Triple Crown and SASL" But these extremely minor differences were Serious Business to the hardcore softball player. If you thought you were entering into, say, a USSSA tournament but it turned out to be, say, an NSA tournament, these guys would bitch about it for MONTHS. Fights between teams were not uncommon. Nor were fights among players on the same team. Most of the top players (my brother included) were short-tempered hotheads ready to fly off the handle at the drop of a hat. Talent raids where one team would "steal" a star player from another team were also common. I imagine money probably changed hands quite often. Even my brother was always bouncing around from team to team. 

The best players made their living playing softball. It was literally their job to go around playing in these big softball tournaments while a brand paid them to use their equipment. Now there weren't many of these. Only a few. Jeff Hall and the great Rusty Bumgardner are the only two names I remember from my brother's stories, but there were a handful of others.

Anyway, my brother probably did the hardcore softball thing for about 8 years.

I have this weird fascination with oddball hobbies and would be so down for a documentary, or even a well-researched sitcom, about the strange world of hardcore softball. Hell, I could probably do it myself if I wasn't so lazy. 

Bringing this all the way back to Sid, I wonder just how hardcore he was? 

Fun Fact: Braun Strowman's old man (Rick Scherr) is considered one of the greatest players in slow pitch softball history, and is in the USSSA Hall of Fame, which incredibly is a real thing. 

Fuck me am I finding myself super fascinated by softball now.

I've never played. Always curious to try.

Love something paradoxical about the phrase "hardcore softball"... Definitely sounds funnier, less scary than softcore hardball.

Double rebook of Luger and Sid getting Hogan runs as champions as Bret turns into basically a jabroni both times, this is the most unholy thread in a long time, just pure evil happening here. Is there another reject Horsemen member to strap the company to? Roma-mania about to run wild in this thread?

Jul 18, 2020 0:32:47 GMT Kilgore said:

Double rebook of Luger and Sid getting Hogan runs as champions as Bret turns into basically a jabroni both times, this is the most unholy thread in a long time, just pure evil happening here. Is there another reject Horsemen member to strap the company to? Roma-mania about to run wild in this thread?

This thread... I have no words, just classic.

Jul 18, 2020 0:32:47 GMT Kilgore said:

Double rebook of Luger and Sid getting Hogan runs as champions as Bret turns into basically a jabroni both times, this is the most unholy thread in a long time, just pure evil happening here. Is there another reject Horsemen member to strap the company to? Roma-mania about to run wild in this thread?

I still have the fondest memories of what could've been had Roma been allowed to run wild in WCW as Baker-man's ROMEOOOOO!!!!!