I don't know what's up with today. I've been having some chest tightness. Ugh.
Anyways, what better way to get through work and forget about chest tightness then talking about this week of football!
LAS VEGAS RAIDERS vs NEW YORK JETS
- Allow me to start with the New York team. The New York team that is on a historic pace to finish 0-16. The same New York team that I bet money on winning this week in a parlay involving Miami, Seattle and Kansas City. You heard that right
Blindy! The New York Jets ARE GOING TO WIN THIS WEEK! It took all this time, but Adam Gase finally admitted that he FAILED Sam Darnold. No shit, Sherlock. Block head sucks ass and the Jets looked even worse with him back then they did with Joe Flacco who surprisingly kept them close. Still, I have a feeling they beat the Raiders this week. We all know how much I love John Gruden and how much I love the RAIDAHZZZZZZ, but this is starting to feel like dejavu. Last season I stood at a bus stop in Manhattan surrounded by RAIDAH NATION who traveled to New York to go to the Raiders/Jets game. The Raiders were sitting at 6-4 and staring at a playoff race. It was a cool moment to see these nut jobs up close and in person, but I called it then and I'll call it now. The Raiders are NOT good when they travel out East. Last weeks debacle against the Falcons where Derek Carr looked like his brother did in Houston by fumbling 3 times and throwing an interception. The Raiders got embarrassed by the Falcons last season and I think the embarrassment continues. Like I said; de ja vu. Raiders came into the game against the Jets at 6-4 and got destroyed 34-3 in Week 12. This season, they were destroyed 43-6 in Week 12. Last season, they would lose 3 more after the loss to the Jets and would fall out of the playoff picture with that 4 game losing streak. This season is starting to have that same vibe. Last season, the Raiders lost to the Chiefs in Week 13 40-9 with 2 back to back blowout losses and this season IT HAPPENS AGAIN. Not only are the Jets going to win their first game of the season, but they are going to win BIG. The Raiders might be without Josh Jacobs and even though the Jets D sucks, I'm not sold on Devonte 'KING' Booker
(#1 fantasy football pick up this week) being the answer to their problems. De ja vu for the Raiders and HALLELUJAH for the Jets. Sam Darnold throws 3 TD passes and Frank 'GORES' 1 in.
Jets win 34-17.
JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS vs MINNESOTA VIKINGS
- I'm coming to this game next instead of doing my usual AFC clean sweep, because it is very important with the Jets/Raiders result. To cut to the chase, the Jaguars are going to lose. They are going to lose every game for the remainder of the season and I've said that for weeks. Mike Glennon was surely better then Jake Luton was all season and maybe they should have had him at starter. It's actually quite impressive how well Jacksonville played against Cleveland without DJ Chark OR Chris Conley. Maybe I'm shitting on them a little too much here, but maybe Cleveland slept on them. Regardless, Jacksonville suffered another tough loss and this one might not be as tough. Minnesota is coming off of a wild, miraculous victory against Carolina in a game that really pissed me the fuck off. The Vikings have a hobbled Dalvin Cook
(what else is new?) in this game, but they will not need him much. Adam Thielen returns from his one week COVID stint. I still don't know if he got COVID or not. Regardless, he's not even the baddest mofo on the team anymore. 'Double J' Justin Jefferson is the best rookie WR this season and is 82 yards away from being the 5th rookie EVER to pass 1,000 yards in his first 12 games! Insanity! This dude does not get talked about enough, but Philadelphia drafted Jalen Reagor over this guy. One has to wonder if Justin Jefferson would've made Philadelphia better OR would Philadelphia have made Justin Jefferson worse? I'm rooting for JJ to get 82+ yards in this game and if you're looking for a TD bet
@admin, put it on an Alexander Mattison TD. I don't see the Vikings riding Dalvin Cook too hard in this game. Jacksonville will keep it semi-close, but will still lose by double digits. Congratulations Jacksonville; YOU ARE ON THE CLOCK!
Vikings win 38-28.
CINCINNATI BENGALS vs MIAMI DOLPHINS
- I don't have much to say about this, except UGH WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN! We could have had a Burrow vs Tua showdown, but instead we are getting Brandon Allen vs Ryan Fitzpatrick. My goodness. I miss Burrow so much. My poor Tee Higgins and Tyler Boyd stocks in fantasy football. Ugh! Miami D is going to devour the Bengals here and Fitzmagic is going to continue making a case for him to be the starter of this team for the remainder of the season. Dolphins dominate. Back to back weeks of giving up just 3 points for this defense. Be proud, Fin Nation, you guys are playoff bound. SPOILER ALERT; AND TIED WITH BUFFALO AT 8-4 AFTER THIS WEEK! Shh. I'll tag Rolling Thunder later. Wink.
Dolphins win 34-3.
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS vs HOUSTON TEXANS
- The Colts BLEW IT last week. The chance to take complete control of the division and they BLEW IT. Or got run over by Derrick Henry. Philip Rivers is playing hurt and now he might be without Costanzo which means JJ Watt is going HUNTING. Still, can't give it to
Todd and his boys here. The loss of Will Fuller SHATTERED MY SOUL and fantasy team. I had a huge steal in the 7th round with this fucking guy and he 'STUFFS' the stat sheets on Thanksgiving and then BREAKS ME APART! Ugh. So now Deshaun Watson has Brandin Cooks, Keke Couttee and Isiah Coulter who hasn't played a game yet in his rookie season due to injuries. I think the mutual seperation with Kenny Stills might have come at a bad time. Maybe Stills snitched? Who knows?! All I know is that the Colts are getting DeForest Buckner back this week and Jonathan Taylor on offense and should have no problem stifling Watson with his lack of weapons and putting up enough points where they can distract everyone from Philip Rivers falling apart. The Colts have given up the fewest sacks this season (10) and Houston is not going to be able to do much to stop them. I'll take Indianapolis winning comfortably, but it's a division game, so no blow outs. PS- Welcome Back David Johnson said nobody ever.
Colts win 27-13. CLEVELAND BROWNS vs TENNESSEE TITANS- Why oh why can I not trust the Cleveland Browns even though they sit at 8-3 and comfortably in the playoff picture?! I don't know why! It must be because of all the excitement I had for them last season and the let down they gave me. They are a better team, better coached and this is all without OBJ! This is INSANE! Yet still, I will not and can not find it in my body to give them the win this week. They slept against Jacksonville and almost lost, but I guess that shows that this is not the same Browns team that keeps on Browning their way through seasons. Still, it's Derrick Henry SZN. Once the weather gets really cold, the MONSTER comes out to play and he came out last week scoring 3 TDs all in the 1st half. Insane. I see another monster week from him coming and that's with Myles Garrett and TakiTaki coming back this week. The Titans need to play better on defense if they want a shot in the playoffs. The Titans should win this game, because I feel like Baker Mayfield is still not trustworthy.
Titans win 28-23.
DETROIT LIONS vs CHICAGO BEARS
- The Detroit Lions have cleaned house, firing HC and GM. It's a new era in Detroit! Well, not yet. You guys see this with the Michigan politicians getting involved in the HC hunt? They are BEGGING the Detroit Lions with a formal letter to the owner of the team to sign SF DC Saleh as their Head Coach next season. I love the fit, but then again I loved the Patricia fit too. Still, Saleh is a Michigan Man and his family is heavily involved with Michigan State. I say it's happening. You going to cheer on the Lions next season
pduh if it happens? Anyways, no Golloday, potentially no/limited Swift. This is still against the Bears D who hasn't given up completely yet. Matt Nagy wants the Bears to play with some DAMN DIGNITY! They will. Mitch Trubisky is 4-0 against the Lions in his career and ALWAYS GOES OFF on them. A great DFS play, in my opinion. Trubisky will throw for 290 yards and 3 TDs in this game and Montgomery will run 1 in also because Detroit can not stop the run. I like Mooney getting a MOON SHOT in this game picking up where Will Fuller left off on this defense. The Bears finally snap out of their losing streak and put up a season high in points and finally look formidable again. Nick Foles watches from the sidelines with a clipboard like he should. HE IS WASHED!
Bears win 31-17.NEW ORLEANS SAINTS vs ATLANTA FALCONS- Fucking Taysom Hill! You are ruining Alvin Kamara! Everyone is praising the Saints for being the #1 defense right now, but CHILL THE FUCK OUT. They just played against Hinton (I can't believe you fell for that FLEX trap
@admin) and still succumbed 3 points to them. These two teams played two weeks ago and the Saints dominated. I don't see the same result happening this week. The Broncos showed how to confuse and slow down Taysom Hill and this dude is fucking annoying as a starting QB. He is going to need to beat the Falcons with his arm this week or just give it to fucking Alvin Kamara! I think Julio Jones plays this week, because it's a rivalry game and I think the Falcons find a way to split the season series this week. I am sensing an upset coming. Kamara and Ridley are both on my fantasy team and I need EXPLOSIVE games from both to clinch the #1 seed and the BYE week in my big league. GIVE ME BIG POINTS, PLEASE! Atlanta Falcons with the upset. After stomping on the Raiders, they are ready for this game. New Orleans is coming off of a cake walk with Denver and are going to get hit hard early. The Falcons jump to a big lead, Atlanta ALMOST CHOKES another game away, but Taysom Hill fails to complete the comeback throwing an interception with under 2 minutes to go.
Falcons win 34-28.LOS ANGELES RAMS vs ARIZONA CARDINALS- Oh Goff, Goff, Goff. Oh Murray, Murray, Murray. Shit, at least Kyler Murray has an excuse because he's hurt. Jared Goff is just a fucking asshole, overpaid bum. I really hate everything about Jared Goff. Dude is carried by this team and still finds ways to fucking lose. The Cardinals are slowly falling out of the playoff picture and a loss here would be HUGE for teams I have winning like Chicago and Minnesota as that would make a 3 way tie at 6-6 and guys, I'm saying it's happening. The Cardinals fall to 6-6 and are tied with Chicago and Minnesota and.... SPOILER ALERT; THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS! Shhhh, don't tell Rolling Thunder yet. That's two Shushes. I'm saving it for later. All of a sudden, the Bears and Vikings are both right there for the playoffs. The 49ers are going to chase that little red bird Kyler Murray all game and Ramsey is going to contain Nuk as much as possible. In the end, Jared Goff will be once again carried and this time by the Rams D. Cooper Kupp hasn't scored a TD since Week 4 and ONLY has TWO touchdowns this season. Career lows for Cooper Kupp. He matches that total in this game scoring TWICE. The defense does the rest. The Cardinals struggle here and are in SERIOUS trouble. The Rams continue their fight for the division title, with their eyes on Seattle.
Rams win 27-14.NEW YORK GIANTS vs SEATTLE SEAHAWKS- SEG WAY KING! Speaking of the Seahawks, they are at the top of their division after manhandling the Eagles. The Seahawks have a poor defense, so the fact that they were able to shove their
Dic
Ks down the throats of the Eagles and 'SLAY' them shows how poor Philly is. The fact that their opponent this week is the head of that awful NFC East division says a lot. Unfortunately for the Giants, Daniel Jones is hurt. I have no reason to believe that Colt McCoy will be the answer to their problems. It's a damn shame, too. The Giants SHOULD HAVE beat the Bears, the Cowboys and the Eagles this season. All this WITHOUT Saquon Barkley! The Giants could easily be coming into this game at 7-4. SEVEN AND FOUR! It's fucking wild how the failure to finish has them at 4-7 instead. The Giants will be better. I am excited for them next season. I believe in Joe Judge. I'm sure
thereallt does, too. I don't see why you wouldn't. The Giants D plays with heart and they will keep this game as close as possible. I would love for the Giants to pull off the stunner, but no chance. Seattle is UNDEFEATED AT HOME and will REMAIN undefeated at home after this game. The Giants struggle to move the ball and this week we get a Tyler ROCKET Lockett game. Lockett can destroy the Giants after DK destroyed the Eagles.
Seahawks win 28-14.PHILADELPHIA EAGLES vs GREEN BAY PACKERS- Oh look, ANOTHER SOLID SEG WAY! I'm fucking good at this. I'm to segways what
CM Punk'd is to puns. I'm just SEGnificantly better. Speaking of being better; the Packers are SIGNIFICANTLY better then the Eagles. If the Eagles win this game, I will be super disappointed in
UT because it would happen after he shits on the Eagles for sucking ass. The Packers should rip the Eagles apart no matter what Wentz told his teammates this week earning praise by taking accountability for their struggles. Well no shit it's your fucking fault Wentz. YOU FUCKING SUCK! Just keep feeding Goadert, even if Zack Ertz is back. Thanks. Miles Sanders is not good enough to take advantage of this VERY POOR run D of the Eagles. I can't find a path for the Eagles to win this game. The whole accountability speech will keep this game close, but in the end Carson Wentz is no Aaron Rodgers. The Green Bay Packers SHOULD win and if my predictions are accurate, the Packers will be the #1 seed in the NFC.
Packers win 27-21. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS vs LOS ANGELES CHARGERS- Justin Herbert came down to earth last week, huh? In a match up that had many people excited between Allen and Herbert, they both struggled. The Chargers were unable to take advantage of 3 straight drives of turnovers for Buffalo. That was with an explosive 'WELCOME BACK' return from Austin Ekeler. So why should I believe they can beat the Patriots? I don't. Anthony Lynn will continue to get outcoached and you know what Bill loves to prey on, right? If you guessed deer meat, you'd guess wrong. If you guessed pimple faced, new haircut rookie QBs, then YOU GUESSED RIGHT! Anthony Lynn + rookie QB vs Bill Belicheck = New England victory. It wont be pretty, but it'll happen. Cam finally finds the end zone with his feet again after 2 weeks hobbled and empty.
Patriots win 23-19.SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALLDENVER BRONCOS vs KANSAS CITY CHIEFS- YO
mikec! PRIMETIME! PATTY MAHOMES! KETCHUP TO THE REST OF US! JIZZ, JIZZ, JIZZ, JIZZ! WE HERE! WE DA KINGDOM! WE DA CHIEFS! WOOOO! Excuse me, but FUCK YEAH! I love this fucking team. I can't wait to watch Patrick Mahomes shred this team apart. He was magical against Tampa Bay and is just ALWAYS magical. Last time they played the Broncos, they dominated them in a wind filled game. This time; they will destroy them at home in a Patrick Mahomes GIMME DA FUCKING MVP Showcase. The Broncos just embarrassed themselves last week as Hinton became another QB failure under John Elway, jk sort of, and this week does not get prettier for them. Will Cheetah go for 200 again? Maybe. But Mahomes is throwing for NOT 1, NOT 2, NOT 3, NOT 4; BUT 5 FUCKING TOUCHDOWNS THIS GAME! Nobody is here for a close game. We are here for the Patrick Mahomes Show. We are here for the seasons FIRST 50 point game. 5 passing TDs for Mahomes, 1 defensive TD (again) and 1 rushing TD by CEH. DOMINATION! Total points scored; 69! FUCK THIS SHIT UP, KC!
Chiefs win 52-17.MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL PART 1:WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM vs PITTSBURGH STEELERS- Will the Washington Football Team be the team to give the first loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers this week? Will they take control of the NFC East with losses to the Giants and the Eagles on Sunday? The answer to both questions is a resounding NO! That is with my adoration for Alex Smith and all. I called them winning on Thanksgiving and even though Antonio Gibson went BUCKWILD against Dallas, I don't think he stands a chance in this game. It seems like only Baltimore can run the ball on Pitt. Big Ben was unhappy about the way the Steelers performed on Wednesday with all the dropped passes and the fumble on the punt and I don't blame him. They nearly lost a game that they should have won EASILY. However, in one lob into traffic James Washington put the game away and kept the Steelers undefeated. In this game, I think the Steelers just come out fiercer and make the plays they should make. Washington has a solid defense, but angry Big Ben spanked all those young receivers of his and they will hold onto the ball this time. The defense will do the rest. Steelers remain undefeated and clinch the division with the Brown loss on Sunday. Easy win coming up. Congrats
🤯.
Steelers win 28-7.MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL PART 2:BUFFALO BILLS vs SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS- The moment I have been waiting for and teasing without tags through 2 other games. JOSH ALLEN SUCKS!
RT And suck he will. The 49ers looked great on defense last week and are slowly getting healthier. A win here coupled with the loss from the Cardinals would put the 49ers in a TIE
(I have it as a 4 way tie with Chicago and Minnesota) for that final playoff spot. Just like that, the San Francisco 49ers are BACK IN THE PLAYOFF PICTURE! That opens the door for George Kittle to return, but not Jimmy G. Why? Because Nick Mullens is going to handle his business. Josh Allen was AWFUL last week and with zero run game from Singletary and Moss, the 49ers are going to dare Josh Allen to prove that he belongs in the MVP and great QB conversation. Can Stefon Diggs show up and show off? Possibly. In the end, I think Shanahan continues to march this 49ers team forward and Josh Allen makes one too many mistakes and the Bills lose and fall into a tie with the Dolphins for the division lead with 4 games to go! The battle of
pduh and
RT is settled with Josh Allen failing to tie the game on his final drive with under 2 minutes to go as he throws an incomplete pass on 4th and 5. Nick Mullens takes a pair of knees and the 49ers jump to .500. Monday Night Thriller!
49ers win 24-17.TUESDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:DALLAS COWBOYS vs BALTIMORE RAVENS- DraftKings has a special this weekend. +175 if the NFC East goes 0-4 this week. For that bet to happen, you might have to wait ALL THE WAY UNTIL TUESDAY to find out! So many questions about Baltimore coming into this game. Will Lamar be available to play or will it be the GOAT McSorley? Will Mark Andrews be cleared to go? How about JK Dobbins and Mark Ingram? So many questions left unanswered that this is a risky bet for me to take. Because the Ravens might not be as good as people think. Maybe Dallas isnt as bad as people think, either. Shit if the NFC East goes 0-3 coming into this game and the Cowboys win; then Dallas will be the top dog in the NFC East. Crazy, right?! This is a tough game for me to pick, but I'll be bias and pick the Ravens to win JUST SO THE GIANTS CAN REMAIN THE KINGS OF THE NFC EAST FOR ONE MORE WEEK!
Ravens win 28-27. 
