Jake vs. @ness

Jake (did not submit a card)

SPOILER: Click to show

1. Roman Reigns
2. Kenny Omega
3. Seth Rollins
4. HOOK
5. Matt Riddle
6. Miro
7. Orange Cassidy
8. Shane "Hurricane" Helms
9. Kofi Kingston
10. Big E
11. Jimmy Uso
12. Jey Uso
13. Xavier Woods
14. Bad Bunny
15. Sylvain Grenier
16. René Duprée
17. Lance Cade
18. Trevor Murdoch
19. Abyss
20. Steve Blackman

Ness

SPOILER: Click to show

WELCOME TO HELL MOTHERFUCKERS

Ya see we actually have been warned all along, but we chose to ignore it. An immortal funeral director who can shoot lighting bolts, control druids (wtf IS a druid?) and engage in MMA and ride motorcycles... is actually not special at all. White Republican Jesus? Wrong. Pedophile Mohammad with his 6 year old child prides? Wrong. Pimp Daddy Buddah was just a pre-diabetic stoner. Also wrong. Joseph Smith before becoming the 17th Doctor is also wrong. A certain deadman gave us a preview for what we will do in the afterlife. There is no reincarnation, there is no watching your grandchildren masturbate from the heavenly clouds above, there are no virgin harems for us in an act of allah akahbar... there is eternal slavery. You do not rest in peace... you don't even sleep when you're dead. You will as you lived... WORK.

When you die you will do whatever it is you did before you died. For 20 individuals it was simply being the best that carny money can buy and every year the million of human deities come together to watch you abuse what passes for your bodies in limbo. And you will do it again and again, making even Jeff Dunham blush at the overdone routines. This year we welcome a new addition to the roster in Scott Hall. And just to clue our viewers in... unless you died in your prime you will work in whatever condition you passed, like an awkward wikipedia main page photo.

Join us on live from the Limbo Network on May 19th for

PURGATORY KINGDOM: ELEVENTEEN

Featuring the audio commentary by Gorilla and Heenan...

Influential Asshole Showcase Match

Winner Has Sins Erased for 24 Hours

Jimmy Snuke vs. Dynamite Kid

Four Way Last Rites Ladder Match

Winner Receives Free Ticket into Heaven

Special Note: The Briefcase is Empty (they have no clue lmao)

Daffney vs. Crash Holly vs. Balls Mahoney vs. New Jack

Mukbang Death Match (Falls Count Anywhere)

Ring is Surrounded by Buffet Tables

Umaga vs. Yokozuna

Singles Match

Spot in the Boys* Roster

Art challenges Test for a chance to become one of the Boys

Test (C) vs. Art Barr

Roe v. Wade Aborted Fetus Lumberjoey Match

Ashley Massaro vs. Roddy Piper

Epic Rap Battle of History Face-Off

Winner Decided by Fan Vote in Attendance

The Big Boss Man vs. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff

Heaven and Hell World Championship Match
Queering Don't Make the World Work Street Fight
The Ultimate Warrior (C) vs. Chris Kanyon

In Loving Memory of 🤯

Miss You Boo

I really don't want to vote against Ness who actually made a card and had a theme that I thought could work but using Roddy Piper in that abortion of a match (literally and figuratively) is one of the worst booked matches in the history of PW Drafts. Probably the worst.

Yikes I just don't know. TBD.

If I do vote @ness out of principal he better promise to do better next round.

I'm abstaining my vote unless it's a tiebreaker. I don't want to vote for Jake because he didn't submit a card but there isn't any universe where I feel comfortable voting for Ness's card.

May 11, 2022 22:46:31 GMT KITN said:

I'm abstaining my vote unless it's a tiebreaker. I don't want to vote for Jake because he didn't submit a card but there isn't any universe where I feel comfortable voting for Ness's card.

Seconded.

Oh man that had me rolling 😂 the gasp of everybody reading that card I can see it now 😂😂😂 next level

Damn Jake after talking all that shit didn’t even get a card in what a swerve

I'm going to hold my nose and grudgingly give @ness a vote after all just because @james made the fatal mistake of promising something great (a musical!) and delivering nothing.

@james why? Clearly I wasn't planning to go the distance.

Also I love that every edited card never gets posted. Not that Hall/Perfect changes anything.

I didn't like what Ness did and voted for Jake. That roster has many of my favorite wrestlers on it, and if I vote against Seth Rollins, I may get kicked out of Iowa...

Lmao

@ness make your steals