Post by RT on May 11, 2022 16:52:33 GMT
Baker vs. 1RealSmartAlex
Baker
A quarter century in the making...
The 25th Anniversary of...
Lawlermania
David vs. Goliath II: This time it's personal!
1. Smoking Gunns vs. Shoguns (Hakushi & Kwang)- Vacant Tag Title Match- Losing Team Must Split Up
2. Patti Pizzazz vs. Dump Matsumoto- Dump's in ring debut
3. Sandman vs. Godfather- Friendly Fan Favorite Fight
4. "The Grecian Urn" Adrian Adonis w/ "The Genius" Lanny Poffo vs. "The Alaskan" Ax w/ "Log Lad" Matt Borne- Ode To George Plimpton
4a. "Log Lad" Matt Borne vs. "The Genius" Lanny Poffo- Borne gets 5 minutes with Poffo if Ax defeats Adonis
5. Booker T vs. Pat McAfee- Scepter On A Pole Match
6. Hardcore Holly (c) vs. King Kong Bundy- Superheavyweight Championship Match
7. Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Lana Star- KAPOW Women's Title Match
8. Andre the Giant (c) vs. Jerry Lawler- KAPOW Championship Match: DAVID vs. GOLIATH II
"Log Lad" Matt Borne
I don't go as far as most Memphians. I only see monarchy as a theoretical lesser of two evils. The average Memphis native is a full fledged monarchist. Thing is monarchy does have two flaws nobody, not Bellamy, nor even my log, has been able to solve...
I. The Bad King Conundrum- One bad king can undo centuries of work. They do love their King here in Memphis. I hear it all the time- "Our King is a good King." Yes. For now. For the last quarter century even. But not forever. Look no further than this very show- Lawlermania. Those of us with long memories know the origin story of Lawlermania is darker than anyone cares to admit. The first two Lawlermanias were little more than overblown monuments to feed the ego of a megalomaniacal King. Our "good" King's answer to the Great Pyramid of Cheops. And is it not possible Lawler only reverted back to the side of good because he needed support to fend off would be usurper, Bill Dundee? Now I'll admit it worked out alright in the end. Lawlermania has become an institution- a wholesome celebration of the once wicked King who created it in the first place. Yet my skepticism remains. I am neither pro or anti Jerry Lawler. And there's still...
II. The Question of Heirs- It plagued the monarchies of yesteryear. It plagues our present day Memphis monarchy. Jerry Lawler has no known legitimate heirs. Dating back to before the first Lawlermania it was always assumed he would pass the baton on to a protege. For a long time Jimmy Golden was the presumptive heir. But nobody has heard from Jimmy Golden in 23 years. Others came and went over the decades. Time does run weird here in Lawlerland...
In more modern times it was thought Booker T would be carry the crown and scepter when Lawler finally stepped aside. Booker was popular. He did things The Right Way. Signed autographs. Kissed babies. Slapped hands. Teamed with Lawler when The King needed a partner. The people liked him. He liked them in return...
Until Pat McAfee came along. The Current Thing....the new hotness....call him what you will. Pat Mac is the flavor of the month. He has the it factor. He can do no wrong in the eyes of Memphians. His popularity is on par with Lawler himself.
Pat Mac and The Bookman got along just fine until one fateful night in Tupelo. Lawler needed a partner to take on Adonis & Bundy. The King's usual partner, Booker T, was already booked in a title match against Andre that night. Pat Mac stepped out of the commentary booth to aid Lawler, and would actually win the match for his team by pinning Adonis. McAfee's popularity only grew from there. Booker felt forgotten. In truth, he was forgotten. Book started beefing with Pat. Pat in turn began sniping back. Things came to a head and Lawler himself booked this match to settle the question of succession once and for all...
5. Booker T vs. Pat McAfee- Scepter On A Pole Match- Whoever grabs the scepter can use it as a weapon
=================
Once upon a time Bob Holly was a nobody going nowhere. Then he started claiming to be a 400 pound Hardcore tough guy. People laughed at first. Hardcore Holly never laughed. Not sure he's capable of laughing. Never broke character either. And nobody's laughing now. Over time those scoffers started ironically playing along. Then a funny thing happened. Their irony morphed into sincerity. Now the vast majority of Memphians unironically believe in Hardcore Holly as the 400 pound baddest man on the planet. A Fairy Tale became real. You'll never catch them breaking kayfabe either. Last year Bobcore won the belt. Then he beat everybody. Along the way he renamed the old Southern Title that he won. Now it's the Superheavyweight Title. Only fellow 400 pounders can challenge for the belt. Enter the 448 pound "Walking Condominium" King Kong Bundy. Master of the 400 Pound Dropkick vs. Mister Five Count. Who ya got?
6. Hardcore Holly (c) vs. King Kong Bundy- COLOSSAL JOSTLE Superheavyweight Title Match
===============
What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Yeah. You would. Of course you would. It's only human nature. You've grown accustomed to my formula. To change it up now would be an unwelcome curveball. Something to be rejected. Most people like things to be just so. Oh sure. Many, even most, clamor for change. But what they really want is their own particular brand of change. Not me. Chaos. That's my bag. Chaos. The only thing you can really count on. I've died and been reborne. I've seen things. I've heard things. Things that would turn your hair gray. Things that would make you scream for your mothers. Remember. This log spoke to me once. It will speak again. When it does, I'll be ready...
Pro wrestling does not lend itself to chaos. Not real chaos anyway. It's formulaic by nature. How far can pro wrestling go? Hehehe. You're about to find out...
4. "The Grecian Urn" Adrian Adonis w/ "The Genius" Lanny Poffo vs. "The Alaskan" Ax w/ "Log Lad" Matt Borne- Ode To George Plimpton
===========
The Genius does not like me
For I criticized his verse
I find it very likely
His poems they are the worst
4a. "The Genius" Lanny Poffo vs. "Log Lad" Matt Borne- Borne gets 5 minutes with Poffo if Ax defeats Adonis
==============
A little log once told me all stories are retellings of either Cinderella or The Bible. You may disagree. I won't. In the log I trust. Funny thing about stories. They're just that- stories. At least until they've been memed into reality. And that rarely happens.
Everybody remembers the stories of David vs. Goliath and Cinderella. Why? Because they're uplifting stories designed to make you feel better. That's why they've been retold a million times. The underdog prevails against their oppressor and lives happily ever. Newsflash. Real life rarely works that way. Goliath usually crushes David. Your average Cinderella continues to live a miserable existence in the shadows before dying alone and unloved. You just don't often hear about it. Who among us can recall the long parade of ham and eggers Mike Tyson knocked out? How about specifics on those riders of the jabroni pony who were annihilated by the 2007 Patriots? I thought as much. And why would you remember? Dog often bites man. Nobody cares. It's only when man bites dog that word gets around.
A long time ago a wrestling magazine writer spun a fairy tale about The Night A Midget Beat A Giant. It was mostly false. But word got around. The Midget was Jerry Lawler. The Giant was Andre. Andre has been mad about it ever since. He finally got his revenge. And boy did he. First he took Lawler's health with a brutal assault. Then he took Lawler's belt. Now this Goliath wants to crush the upstart David forever by destroying him on the very stage David built- Lawlermania.
Yearly reminder- Cynics with short memories are fond of claiming Jerry Lawler would never lose at Lawlermania. I laugh at these cynics and their short memories. For I am old and lonely, and only the old and the lonely remember. What do I remember? I remember Dr. Death Steve Williams pinning Lawler clean as a sheet in the middle of the ring at Lawlermania II. I remember Jerry Lawler screaming "I Quit" when trapped in Bob Boone Jr.'s Boonebreaker a few Lawlermanias later. So, yes. Jerry Lawler can indeed lose at Lawlermania. It happened before. It can happen again. Will it? There's only one way to find out...
8. Andre the Giant (c) vs. Jerry Lawler- KAPOW Championship- DAVID vs. GOLIATH II
================
Here we are well into the Age of Democracy. Over a century deep. Yet isn't curious that in countries with both elected leaders and hereditary leaders, the Kings/Queens are almost always more popular than the President/Prime Minister?
KAPOW. Kings And Princesses Of Wrestling. People sometimes ask why Princesses rather than Queens? I'll tell you why...
While it is true Kings & Queens are more popular than Presidents & Prime Ministers in countries with both hereditary and elected leaders, Princes are more popular still, and Princesses are the most popular of all. All save the usual malcontents love a princess. Check out Disney for further proof. They've made a whole lot of money on the backs of princesses. But why? Again I will paraphrase Bellamy. Princesses are a link between the past and the present. They are the heirs of a long tradition. Yet they also represent the future. Besides, all princesses are beautiful. Why? Because they are princesses.
Yet there are few things more loathed than a false princesses....a wannabe putting on airs.
*Commotion. Jerry Lawler appears on set. "OK, Matt. We've heard enough outta you. Roll the footage."
A few years ago Lana Star left the wrestling business for the bright lights of Hollywood. This time she finally did achieve her dream of becoming a bonafide Hollywood superstar. Lana hit it big playing spoiled brat Areal LaRump in the campy Netflix soap An Invitation To Love. It wasn't long before the zany antics and sexual escapades of Areal and her frenemies in The Towers captured the attention of America, and soon the world. Lana Star finally became a Star by basically playing herself. But fear not. She hasn't changed. If anything she's doubled down on the whole Hollywood princess thing. Only now it's a shoot, brother. She's a hot commodity in Hollywood. Been getting cast in the sort of roles Christina Cole often played ten-fifteen years ago. Just last night it was announced Lana would be playing the snooty American heiress/village jezebel in the first ever adaptation of the "lost" Agatha Christie novel Death In The Nursery which was recently discovered in rural England by a band of metal detectorists who uncovered a curious metal box containing the manuscript....
A new female star emerged in Memphis while Lana was off conquering Hollywood. Her name is Alexa Bliss. Miss Bliss won the good people of Memphis over with glitter and sparkle and goodness. She is the first one to the building and the last one to leave. She signs every autograph. Meets with every fan. Little girls look up to her as an inspiration. Lonely young men come away with newfound confidence after Alexa takes time out of her busy day to interact with them. Kids and parents love her. She has even won over cynical young men (the worst type of fan btw) for admittedly superficial reasons. She won PWI's inaugural Lady Byng Award in a landslide. Alexa Bliss has become the People's Princess. Not by birth, but by Acclamation. Which, of course, is how Jerry Lawler became King all those years ago...
Patti Pizzazz bounced back and forth between serving as Lana's personal assistant in Hollywood and wrestling right here in KAPOW on those not infrequent occasions when Lana would temporarily fire her for purchasing a purse which was the wrong shade of pink or what have you.
Patti and Alexa hit it off right away after meeting backstage. I will transcribe the meeting...
*Patti skips one way. Alexa skips the other. They meet in the middle.
Alexa: Hiya Patti! I like your pompoms!
Patti: Hi Alexa! LOVE the glitter!
*Patti does a cheer- A-L-E-X-A Yay, Alexa!
*Alexa blows glitter at Patti
Alexa started giving Patti some in ring pointers. Patti actually started winning matches! And being not terrible in the ring. But every time she'd go on a winning streak Lana would summon her back to Hollywood...
Patti's latest return saw her drop a bombshell- LANA STAR would be returning after a long absence from the wrestling business!
Lana got the red carpet treatment. All the trendy magazines and websites sent photographers. This was to be Lana's greatest moment. She returned expecting a heroine's welcome. She got booed out of the building. To add insult to injury the Memphis faithful started chanting "ALEXA! ALEXA!"
Lana was not pleased. She took out on Patti backstage....
Lana: Ugh! I don't get it. Pattipizzazz, why don't they love me?
Patti: Well...
Lana: Shut up and let me finish. Don't they know I'm a huge star? I'm more successful than them. I'm richer than they are. I'm better looking than them. I'm somebody. They're just a bunch of nobodies. Common trash! Yet STILL they boo ME!
Patti: Well, you're kinda mean.
Lana: Me? Never! I'm not mean. Just honest. And what's the deal with Alexa Bliss? What does SHE have that I don't?
Patti: Umm...a good personality?
Lana: Pattipizzazz, SHUT UP! Who asked you anyway? Ugh! I hate that stupid goodie goodie Peon Princess Alexa Bliss! Like hello! I am a REAL Princess. The Princess of Hollywood!
Patti: But Lana. Maybe that's it? You call yourself a Princess. The People crowned Alexa their Princess. Maybe that's the difference?
Lana: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! Patti Pizza Ass you stupid dummy. OUT! OUT! OUT! I never want to see you again. GET OUT!
*Patti leaves
Lana shows up the following week accompanied by this scary looking newpersonal assistant bodyguard...
Lana introduces Dump Matsumoto as her new bodyguard. She conquered Japan. Now she's going to conquer the States while protecting Lana from the rabble in the process. No longer will the unwashed masses even come this close to KAPOW's only REAL princess...
2. Patti Pizzazz vs. Dump Matsumoto- Dump's in ring debut
7. Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Lana Star- KAPOW Women's Title Match
AM
Baker
KAPOW (Kings And Princesses Of Wrestling) Presents...
A quarter century in the making...
The 25th Anniversary of...
Lawlermania
David vs. Goliath II: This time it's personal!
1. Smoking Gunns vs. Shoguns (Hakushi & Kwang)- Vacant Tag Title Match- Losing Team Must Split Up
2. Patti Pizzazz vs. Dump Matsumoto- Dump's in ring debut
3. Sandman vs. Godfather- Friendly Fan Favorite Fight
4. "The Grecian Urn" Adrian Adonis w/ "The Genius" Lanny Poffo vs. "The Alaskan" Ax w/ "Log Lad" Matt Borne- Ode To George Plimpton
4a. "Log Lad" Matt Borne vs. "The Genius" Lanny Poffo- Borne gets 5 minutes with Poffo if Ax defeats Adonis
5. Booker T vs. Pat McAfee- Scepter On A Pole Match
6. Hardcore Holly (c) vs. King Kong Bundy- Superheavyweight Championship Match
7. Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Lana Star- KAPOW Women's Title Match
8. Andre the Giant (c) vs. Jerry Lawler- KAPOW Championship Match: DAVID vs. GOLIATH II
"Log Lad" Matt Borne
Hello. My name is Matt. Some call me Josh. Others Doink. Enemies call me Maniac. Nowadays most folks 'round here call me The Log Lad. Do you find this strange? You shouldn't. Each and every one of you has at least two identities. Think about it...
1. Smoking Gunns (Billy & Bart Gunn) vs. Shoguns (Hakushi & Kwang)- Vacant Tag Title Match-Losing Team Must Split Up
-There is only room for one Gun(n) club in this hub.
=================
I've been a lumberjack. I've played the clown. I've been borne again. I've been dubbed a maniac. Tonight I'll be your host.
I'm sure you're wondering why I carry this log. You'd carry a log too if it spoke to you. This log spoke to me once. It will again. When it does, I'll be ready.
=================
I've done a lot of drugs. Does that shock you? It shouldn't. I'm far from alone. Drugs are the only way many of us get through the day. And let's face it. We all have our vices. That includes you, Mr. or Mrs. Morning Coffee drinker. From coffee to cocaine, masturbation to mutilation, our vices run the gamut from relatively harmless to life destroying. But we all have them. Some of us like beer and cigarettes. Others prefer women and those funny cigarettes. As for me, well, I quit all the drugs, but I can't let go of this here log...
3. Sandman vs. Godfather- Friendly Fan Favorite Fight
=================
I prefer monarchy to democracy. Does this surprise you? I'm sure it does. But it shouldn't. Democrazy is failing. It will fail. Always has. Always will. The cracks become more apparent with each passing day. Consult the first seven chapters of Bellamy's seminal On Kings and Queens for a scathing critique of democracy. Democracy is chaotic by nature. Monarchy is not. BUT a monarchy can be destabilized quicker than a democracy by those inclined toward chaos. Hehehe...
1. Smoking Gunns (Billy & Bart Gunn) vs. Shoguns (Hakushi & Kwang)- Vacant Tag Title Match-Losing Team Must Split Up
-There is only room for one Gun(n) club in this hub.
=================
I've been a lumberjack. I've played the clown. I've been borne again. I've been dubbed a maniac. Tonight I'll be your host.
I'm sure you're wondering why I carry this log. You'd carry a log too if it spoke to you. This log spoke to me once. It will again. When it does, I'll be ready.
=================
I've done a lot of drugs. Does that shock you? It shouldn't. I'm far from alone. Drugs are the only way many of us get through the day. And let's face it. We all have our vices. That includes you, Mr. or Mrs. Morning Coffee drinker. From coffee to cocaine, masturbation to mutilation, our vices run the gamut from relatively harmless to life destroying. But we all have them. Some of us like beer and cigarettes. Others prefer women and those funny cigarettes. As for me, well, I quit all the drugs, but I can't let go of this here log...
3. Sandman vs. Godfather- Friendly Fan Favorite Fight
=================
I prefer monarchy to democracy. Does this surprise you? I'm sure it does. But it shouldn't. Democrazy is failing. It will fail. Always has. Always will. The cracks become more apparent with each passing day. Consult the first seven chapters of Bellamy's seminal On Kings and Queens for a scathing critique of democracy. Democracy is chaotic by nature. Monarchy is not. BUT a monarchy can be destabilized quicker than a democracy by those inclined toward chaos. Hehehe...
I don't go as far as most Memphians. I only see monarchy as a theoretical lesser of two evils. The average Memphis native is a full fledged monarchist. Thing is monarchy does have two flaws nobody, not Bellamy, nor even my log, has been able to solve...
I. The Bad King Conundrum- One bad king can undo centuries of work. They do love their King here in Memphis. I hear it all the time- "Our King is a good King." Yes. For now. For the last quarter century even. But not forever. Look no further than this very show- Lawlermania. Those of us with long memories know the origin story of Lawlermania is darker than anyone cares to admit. The first two Lawlermanias were little more than overblown monuments to feed the ego of a megalomaniacal King. Our "good" King's answer to the Great Pyramid of Cheops. And is it not possible Lawler only reverted back to the side of good because he needed support to fend off would be usurper, Bill Dundee? Now I'll admit it worked out alright in the end. Lawlermania has become an institution- a wholesome celebration of the once wicked King who created it in the first place. Yet my skepticism remains. I am neither pro or anti Jerry Lawler. And there's still...
II. The Question of Heirs- It plagued the monarchies of yesteryear. It plagues our present day Memphis monarchy. Jerry Lawler has no known legitimate heirs. Dating back to before the first Lawlermania it was always assumed he would pass the baton on to a protege. For a long time Jimmy Golden was the presumptive heir. But nobody has heard from Jimmy Golden in 23 years. Others came and went over the decades. Time does run weird here in Lawlerland...
In more modern times it was thought Booker T would be carry the crown and scepter when Lawler finally stepped aside. Booker was popular. He did things The Right Way. Signed autographs. Kissed babies. Slapped hands. Teamed with Lawler when The King needed a partner. The people liked him. He liked them in return...
Until Pat McAfee came along. The Current Thing....the new hotness....call him what you will. Pat Mac is the flavor of the month. He has the it factor. He can do no wrong in the eyes of Memphians. His popularity is on par with Lawler himself.
Pat Mac and The Bookman got along just fine until one fateful night in Tupelo. Lawler needed a partner to take on Adonis & Bundy. The King's usual partner, Booker T, was already booked in a title match against Andre that night. Pat Mac stepped out of the commentary booth to aid Lawler, and would actually win the match for his team by pinning Adonis. McAfee's popularity only grew from there. Booker felt forgotten. In truth, he was forgotten. Book started beefing with Pat. Pat in turn began sniping back. Things came to a head and Lawler himself booked this match to settle the question of succession once and for all...
5. Booker T vs. Pat McAfee- Scepter On A Pole Match- Whoever grabs the scepter can use it as a weapon
=================
Can fiction be memed into reality? Of course. A determined group of true believers, or even one charismatic individual with a vision, can make the unreal real. Happens all the time. Happened here...
Once upon a time Bob Holly was a nobody going nowhere. Then he started claiming to be a 400 pound Hardcore tough guy. People laughed at first. Hardcore Holly never laughed. Not sure he's capable of laughing. Never broke character either. And nobody's laughing now. Over time those scoffers started ironically playing along. Then a funny thing happened. Their irony morphed into sincerity. Now the vast majority of Memphians unironically believe in Hardcore Holly as the 400 pound baddest man on the planet. A Fairy Tale became real. You'll never catch them breaking kayfabe either. Last year Bobcore won the belt. Then he beat everybody. Along the way he renamed the old Southern Title that he won. Now it's the Superheavyweight Title. Only fellow 400 pounders can challenge for the belt. Enter the 448 pound "Walking Condominium" King Kong Bundy. Master of the 400 Pound Dropkick vs. Mister Five Count. Who ya got?
6. Hardcore Holly (c) vs. King Kong Bundy- COLOSSAL JOSTLE Superheavyweight Title Match
===============
What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Yeah. You would. Of course you would. It's only human nature. You've grown accustomed to my formula. To change it up now would be an unwelcome curveball. Something to be rejected. Most people like things to be just so. Oh sure. Many, even most, clamor for change. But what they really want is their own particular brand of change. Not me. Chaos. That's my bag. Chaos. The only thing you can really count on. I've died and been reborne. I've seen things. I've heard things. Things that would turn your hair gray. Things that would make you scream for your mothers. Remember. This log spoke to me once. It will speak again. When it does, I'll be ready...
Pro wrestling does not lend itself to chaos. Not real chaos anyway. It's formulaic by nature. How far can pro wrestling go? Hehehe. You're about to find out...
4. "The Grecian Urn" Adrian Adonis w/ "The Genius" Lanny Poffo vs. "The Alaskan" Ax w/ "Log Lad" Matt Borne- Ode To George Plimpton
===========
The Genius does not like me
For I criticized his verse
I find it very likely
His poems they are the worst
4a. "The Genius" Lanny Poffo vs. "Log Lad" Matt Borne- Borne gets 5 minutes with Poffo if Ax defeats Adonis
==============
A little log once told me all stories are retellings of either Cinderella or The Bible. You may disagree. I won't. In the log I trust. Funny thing about stories. They're just that- stories. At least until they've been memed into reality. And that rarely happens.
Everybody remembers the stories of David vs. Goliath and Cinderella. Why? Because they're uplifting stories designed to make you feel better. That's why they've been retold a million times. The underdog prevails against their oppressor and lives happily ever. Newsflash. Real life rarely works that way. Goliath usually crushes David. Your average Cinderella continues to live a miserable existence in the shadows before dying alone and unloved. You just don't often hear about it. Who among us can recall the long parade of ham and eggers Mike Tyson knocked out? How about specifics on those riders of the jabroni pony who were annihilated by the 2007 Patriots? I thought as much. And why would you remember? Dog often bites man. Nobody cares. It's only when man bites dog that word gets around.
A long time ago a wrestling magazine writer spun a fairy tale about The Night A Midget Beat A Giant. It was mostly false. But word got around. The Midget was Jerry Lawler. The Giant was Andre. Andre has been mad about it ever since. He finally got his revenge. And boy did he. First he took Lawler's health with a brutal assault. Then he took Lawler's belt. Now this Goliath wants to crush the upstart David forever by destroying him on the very stage David built- Lawlermania.
Yearly reminder- Cynics with short memories are fond of claiming Jerry Lawler would never lose at Lawlermania. I laugh at these cynics and their short memories. For I am old and lonely, and only the old and the lonely remember. What do I remember? I remember Dr. Death Steve Williams pinning Lawler clean as a sheet in the middle of the ring at Lawlermania II. I remember Jerry Lawler screaming "I Quit" when trapped in Bob Boone Jr.'s Boonebreaker a few Lawlermanias later. So, yes. Jerry Lawler can indeed lose at Lawlermania. It happened before. It can happen again. Will it? There's only one way to find out...
8. Andre the Giant (c) vs. Jerry Lawler- KAPOW Championship- DAVID vs. GOLIATH II
Here we are well into the Age of Democracy. Over a century deep. Yet isn't curious that in countries with both elected leaders and hereditary leaders, the Kings/Queens are almost always more popular than the President/Prime Minister?
KAPOW. Kings And Princesses Of Wrestling. People sometimes ask why Princesses rather than Queens? I'll tell you why...
While it is true Kings & Queens are more popular than Presidents & Prime Ministers in countries with both hereditary and elected leaders, Princes are more popular still, and Princesses are the most popular of all. All save the usual malcontents love a princess. Check out Disney for further proof. They've made a whole lot of money on the backs of princesses. But why? Again I will paraphrase Bellamy. Princesses are a link between the past and the present. They are the heirs of a long tradition. Yet they also represent the future. Besides, all princesses are beautiful. Why? Because they are princesses.
Yet there are few things more loathed than a false princesses....a wannabe putting on airs.
*Commotion. Jerry Lawler appears on set. "OK, Matt. We've heard enough outta you. Roll the footage."
A few years ago Lana Star left the wrestling business for the bright lights of Hollywood. This time she finally did achieve her dream of becoming a bonafide Hollywood superstar. Lana hit it big playing spoiled brat Areal LaRump in the campy Netflix soap An Invitation To Love. It wasn't long before the zany antics and sexual escapades of Areal and her frenemies in The Towers captured the attention of America, and soon the world. Lana Star finally became a Star by basically playing herself. But fear not. She hasn't changed. If anything she's doubled down on the whole Hollywood princess thing. Only now it's a shoot, brother. She's a hot commodity in Hollywood. Been getting cast in the sort of roles Christina Cole often played ten-fifteen years ago. Just last night it was announced Lana would be playing the snooty American heiress/village jezebel in the first ever adaptation of the "lost" Agatha Christie novel Death In The Nursery which was recently discovered in rural England by a band of metal detectorists who uncovered a curious metal box containing the manuscript....
A new female star emerged in Memphis while Lana was off conquering Hollywood. Her name is Alexa Bliss. Miss Bliss won the good people of Memphis over with glitter and sparkle and goodness. She is the first one to the building and the last one to leave. She signs every autograph. Meets with every fan. Little girls look up to her as an inspiration. Lonely young men come away with newfound confidence after Alexa takes time out of her busy day to interact with them. Kids and parents love her. She has even won over cynical young men (the worst type of fan btw) for admittedly superficial reasons. She won PWI's inaugural Lady Byng Award in a landslide. Alexa Bliss has become the People's Princess. Not by birth, but by Acclamation. Which, of course, is how Jerry Lawler became King all those years ago...
Patti Pizzazz bounced back and forth between serving as Lana's personal assistant in Hollywood and wrestling right here in KAPOW on those not infrequent occasions when Lana would temporarily fire her for purchasing a purse which was the wrong shade of pink or what have you.
Patti and Alexa hit it off right away after meeting backstage. I will transcribe the meeting...
*Patti skips one way. Alexa skips the other. They meet in the middle.
Alexa: Hiya Patti! I like your pompoms!
Patti: Hi Alexa! LOVE the glitter!
*Patti does a cheer- A-L-E-X-A Yay, Alexa!
*Alexa blows glitter at Patti
Alexa started giving Patti some in ring pointers. Patti actually started winning matches! And being not terrible in the ring. But every time she'd go on a winning streak Lana would summon her back to Hollywood...
Patti's latest return saw her drop a bombshell- LANA STAR would be returning after a long absence from the wrestling business!
Lana got the red carpet treatment. All the trendy magazines and websites sent photographers. This was to be Lana's greatest moment. She returned expecting a heroine's welcome. She got booed out of the building. To add insult to injury the Memphis faithful started chanting "ALEXA! ALEXA!"
Lana was not pleased. She took out on Patti backstage....
Lana: Ugh! I don't get it. Pattipizzazz, why don't they love me?
Patti: Well...
Lana: Shut up and let me finish. Don't they know I'm a huge star? I'm more successful than them. I'm richer than they are. I'm better looking than them. I'm somebody. They're just a bunch of nobodies. Common trash! Yet STILL they boo ME!
Patti: Well, you're kinda mean.
Lana: Me? Never! I'm not mean. Just honest. And what's the deal with Alexa Bliss? What does SHE have that I don't?
Patti: Umm...a good personality?
Lana: Pattipizzazz, SHUT UP! Who asked you anyway? Ugh! I hate that stupid goodie goodie Peon Princess Alexa Bliss! Like hello! I am a REAL Princess. The Princess of Hollywood!
Patti: But Lana. Maybe that's it? You call yourself a Princess. The People crowned Alexa their Princess. Maybe that's the difference?
Lana: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! Patti Pizza Ass you stupid dummy. OUT! OUT! OUT! I never want to see you again. GET OUT!
*Patti leaves
Lana shows up the following week accompanied by this scary looking new
Lana introduces Dump Matsumoto as her new bodyguard. She conquered Japan. Now she's going to conquer the States while protecting Lana from the rabble in the process. No longer will the unwashed masses even come this close to KAPOW's only REAL princess...
2. Patti Pizzazz vs. Dump Matsumoto- Dump's in ring debut
7. Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Lana Star- KAPOW Women's Title Match
AM
american rasslin theatre
[LIGHTS UP. LIGHTS OUT.]
american rasslin theatre World Championship Match
Owen Hart © versus CM Punk
For weeks, a package played stating “The Hart of ART will beat again”. No one was more excited about these videos than then ART World Champion, CM Punk. He said he would welcome one of the greatest wrestlers of all time into ART with open arms. He even wanted to award him a title shot in his first match back. Imagine Punk’s surprise when the person arriving to accept the challenge was not the Hart he expected. Punk was not prepared for Owen and clearly underestimated him. A victory roll and a handful of tights saw a shocking title change. Owen Hart became World Champion on free television. CM Punk said he was prepared to face the greatest wrestler of all time to which Owen replied, “YOU DID!” Punk responded that his brother, in fact none of his brothers, would’ve cheated to win a World Championship. Owen talks about how he finally emerged from the shadows and won his own World Championship, but all he hears about is this guy CM Punk calling him a cheater. He says Punk needs to respect the World Champion. Punk says he will award Owen the respect deserved by the World Champion when he earns it. Owen offers Punk a handshake in their second match, but it is denied. After some back and forth, Hart rolls out of the ring and takes the count out. Punk says he must not understand how things work around here. When someone beats the champion, even by count out or disqualification, they get another title shot. Punk says he will keep getting title shots until Owen beats him by pinfall or submission which will never happen because he can’t. The official takes the title to give it back to Owen when Punk confiscates it. He says he’s going to give Owen the championship back but not before he literally SPITS on it the same way Owen has been figuratively spitting on it. Hart takes the belt back and goes to leave before turning around to ambush Punk with a title shot to the head. Owen then delivers a tombstone piledriver on the championship. He rolls Punk over and pins him. Owen says that may not count, but he can do it again at [Lights Up. Lights Out[ because he is better than CM Punk. He says he’s the greatest professional wrestler of all time, and he will beat some RESPECT into CM Punk.
Hudson River Street Fight
Bam Bam Bigelow versus Eddie Kingston
After a victory, Eddie Kingston is asked what his goals are in american rasslin theatre. Eddie talks about how he wants to challenge for the art World Championship at Arthur Ashe Stadium in a few months. He says it would mean the world to him to fight for the richest prize in wrestling in front of his family and friends. He talks about how he has to keep his nose clean to earn that spot. He can’t lose his temper. He can’t get disqualified. He wants to make his family proud. He has to make New York proud. Eddie is recounting his story again when Bam Bam Bigelow says he is TIRED of hearing Eddie Kingston’s story. He is tired of Eddie Kingston, and he is tired of New York. He says when art arrives to Arthur Ashe Stadium, it will be his family piling in the car and driving the hour and fifteen minutes from Asbury Park, New Jersey to watch him win the art World Championship. Eddie says it would be amazing to see someone from New Jersey win something, it wasn’t going to happen on his watch, and it wasn’t going to happen in New York. Eddie says the two of them are not going to be able to settle this with words. Bigelow agrees because he’s going to knock so many of Kingston’s teeth out, he won’t be able to talk. Eddie laughs and slaps him. The two men have to be pulled apart. So much damage is done that both men are suspended. A video plays of Eddie Kingston walking along the Hudson River in New York talking about how he doesn’t want to lose his shot at the art World Championship, but Bam Bam Bigelow made him so angry he lost control. He says he knows this issue with Bigelow has to be resolved, but he doesn’t think it can end in the confines of a match. A video plays of Bigelow also walking along the Hudson River but on the New Jersey side. He says him and Kingston weren’t that different. He said they were two tough kids who never had a hard time finding trouble. Bigelow agreed that a regular match couldn’t end it. Bigelow suggests the two men meet on the George Washington Bridge to discuss terms. Cameras follow them to the meeting, but before they can get mic’d, a fight breaks out. Bigelow uses the chain link fence on the walking path across the bridge to cut Eddie open. He fights back in a rage and nearly throws Bigelow into traffic. When the suspensions end, the men return to art agreeing to stay away from each other until this thing can be settled in a Hudson River Street Fight. They have a contract signing where both men are brought onto the stage in handcuffs. Kingston signs first noting that the cuffs weren’t necessary as he was perfectly fine waiting for the fight. Bigelow gets one hand free to sign when he STABS KINGSTON WITH THE PEN! He knocks the table over before anyone can stop him and brutalizes Kingston who is still in handcuffs. They finally get him subdued when a bloody Kingston says he’s been trying to be good, but the world has made it damn near impossible his entire life. He says it’s not about New York or New Jersey anymore. He says it’s not about the World Title anymore. He says he’s been trying to be good, but he’s got all of these bad things pent up inside of him. He’s got all of these bad things pent up inside of him, and they are going to be DUMPED on Bam Bam Bigelow in the Hudson River Street Fight and he’s going to dump all of the hatred, all of the anger, and all of the violence that pollutes his soul on Bam Bam Bigelow.
Freak Show
Goldust versus Danhausen
american rasslin theatre always fixated a spotlight on one particular freak, Goldust. However, the Bizarre One decided to go on a search. He decided to go on a search for the next great freak. He searched in every crack and crevice in the world of professional wrestling to find the next great freak. He found a diamond in the rough when he discovered Danhausen. The Very Nice, Very Evil star became a cult icon of sorts. His journey towards earning many bags of human money as well as a blimp made Danhaused someone unlike anyone art had seen before. Everybody loved that Danhausen. Everybody except one. Goldust’s jealousy fueled his rage. He brutally attacked Danhausen. He tried to resume his place in the spotlight, but everyone wanted Danhausen. Goldust insisted Danhausen would never return. However, as the weeks went on, Goldust was haunted by the presence. Finally, Goldust demanded a fight with the beloved Very Nice, Very Evil Danhausen.
Streak vs Streak
1-2-3 Kid versus Wardlow
Wardlow has been on a path of destruction from the word go. He has not only won matches. He has dominated opponents. He has ended careers. The world is in awe of the beast. He is seemingly infallible. His undefeated streak has been the stuff of legend. Believe it or not, Wardlow is not the only person on a streak in american rasslin theatre. Sean Waltman recently made the transformation into the 1-2-3 Kid, and since then, he has been unstoppable. What he lacks in size and dominance, he makes up for in heart. He has found a way to win in all of his recent matches overcoming insurmountable odds. However, he has NEVER faced anyone like Wardlow. Kid asked for this match. He demanded the biggest challenge the art matchmakers could put together. Wardlow laughed when Waltman said he could end the streak of the monstrous Wardlow. One thing that cannot be denied is the heart and bravery of Waltman. One undefeated streak will end.
Losers Lose Their Tune
The Acclaimed [‘Platinum’ Max Caster and Anthony Bowens] versus Jeff Jarrett and The Roadie
While they didn’t like it when they insulted their favorites, art fans soon came to realize that what Anthony Bowens says is true, “Everyone loves The Acclaimed”. Fans showed up in droves to a hip hop club to hear the sick beats of Max Caster. Mid rap, Caster has a guitar broken over his head by none other than Jeff Jarrett. The Roadie knocks over his turntable and brawls with Anthony Bowens until the police arrive. Jarrett cuts a promo saying if people want to hear a real concert they should come to the honky tonk and listen to him perform his hit song “With My Baby Tonight”. Cameras show up at the concert, and that’s not all that shows up. The Acclaimed hack the sound system in the honky tonk and Max Caster does a rap on Jeff Jarrett. After they both ruin each other’s concerts, a stipulation is made. The losing team must come out to a theme song of the winner’s choice for 30 days.
A Gentleman’s Wager
Mr. Bob Backlund versus William Regal
Mr. Bob Backlund receives the Pro Wrestling Illustrated Technician of the Year Award. He says the reason that he is recognized for his great technical wrestling is his respect for his opponents. He says he always gives respect and expects the same in return. He never loses his cool. William Regal, the runner up for the award, walks out during Mr. Backlund’s interview. Backlund extends his hand to Mr. Regal who laughs. Backlund has a bewildered look on his face before Regal slaps the look right off his face. He walks away and Backlund is irate. He shows ruthlessness in his coming matches, constantly calling out Regal, demanding the wiley vet shake his hand. Regal cuts a promo about how he’s gotten in the head of Backlund. He’s exposed his temper, and that will be Backlund’s downfall. He says the Regal Stretch is a superior hold to the Crossface Chicken Wing, and he’s willing to make a wager on it. If Backlund can make him submit to the Crossface Chicken Wing, he’ll shake his hand. However, if Regal wins, Mr. Backlund must forfeit the award.
Singles Match
Sherri Martel versus Jade Cargill
Since retiring from the ring game, Sherri Martel has made quite the career as a manager. She has led several male athletes to championships all over the country. Feeling as though she had accomplished everything there was to do with male clients, she wanted to find the next great female star. She found Jade Cargill. This combination proved to be a deadly one for women across the territory. Martel declared Jade Cargill to be the most dominant female wrestler in the game today. Jade took it one step further and said she was the most dominant of all time. Sherri took umbrage with that remark. She smiled and said ‘I don’t know about that’. This is where the miscommunication in the dominant duo began. If Sherri interfered in one of Jade’s matches, Cargill would get herself counted out. She then declared she didn’t need Sherri. However, Martel reminded her that she was still under contract. Jade mentioned how Sherri had been side eyeing ever since she told everyone she was better than her. Cargill made a proposal. She said Sherri could come out of retirement for one match. If she beat Jade and proved she was the greatest, Jade would honor her contract. If Jade won, the contract would be canceled and Cargill would no longer have a manager. Sherri agreed, and she reminded Jade that she taught Cargill everything That B*tch knows, but she didn’t teach her everything This B*tch knows.
[art] of Allegiance Championships Match
The Heavenly Bodies (Dr. Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray) versus The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson)
Many people believe The Young Bucks have the potential to be [art] of Allegiance Champions. They had been on a pretty impressive winning streak until things suddenly stopped going their way. Bad officiating, outside interference, and other bad things start happening to the Young Bucks. Someone is paying people off to sabotage the careers of Matt and Nick. In fact, a group called The Cult put a hit out on The Young Bucks. However, despite the efforts of The Cult, The Young Bucks have remained successful. While competing for the [art] of Allegiance Championships in a Ladder Match, two masked men attack everyone involved. They steal the [art] of Allegiance Championships. art management agrees to meet with The Cult to discuss what needs to happen in order to get the championships back. The Cult wants their men to get a job and a match against The Young Bucks for those championships. Those in charge at art do not want to give into the demands, but The Young Bucks say they will face whomever The Cult puts up against them. Their opponents? The Heavenly Bodies, but you already knew that.
[LIGHTS UP. LIGHTS OUT.]
american rasslin theatre World Championship Match
Owen Hart © versus CM Punk
For weeks, a package played stating “The Hart of ART will beat again”. No one was more excited about these videos than then ART World Champion, CM Punk. He said he would welcome one of the greatest wrestlers of all time into ART with open arms. He even wanted to award him a title shot in his first match back. Imagine Punk’s surprise when the person arriving to accept the challenge was not the Hart he expected. Punk was not prepared for Owen and clearly underestimated him. A victory roll and a handful of tights saw a shocking title change. Owen Hart became World Champion on free television. CM Punk said he was prepared to face the greatest wrestler of all time to which Owen replied, “YOU DID!” Punk responded that his brother, in fact none of his brothers, would’ve cheated to win a World Championship. Owen talks about how he finally emerged from the shadows and won his own World Championship, but all he hears about is this guy CM Punk calling him a cheater. He says Punk needs to respect the World Champion. Punk says he will award Owen the respect deserved by the World Champion when he earns it. Owen offers Punk a handshake in their second match, but it is denied. After some back and forth, Hart rolls out of the ring and takes the count out. Punk says he must not understand how things work around here. When someone beats the champion, even by count out or disqualification, they get another title shot. Punk says he will keep getting title shots until Owen beats him by pinfall or submission which will never happen because he can’t. The official takes the title to give it back to Owen when Punk confiscates it. He says he’s going to give Owen the championship back but not before he literally SPITS on it the same way Owen has been figuratively spitting on it. Hart takes the belt back and goes to leave before turning around to ambush Punk with a title shot to the head. Owen then delivers a tombstone piledriver on the championship. He rolls Punk over and pins him. Owen says that may not count, but he can do it again at [Lights Up. Lights Out[ because he is better than CM Punk. He says he’s the greatest professional wrestler of all time, and he will beat some RESPECT into CM Punk.
Hudson River Street Fight
Bam Bam Bigelow versus Eddie Kingston
After a victory, Eddie Kingston is asked what his goals are in american rasslin theatre. Eddie talks about how he wants to challenge for the art World Championship at Arthur Ashe Stadium in a few months. He says it would mean the world to him to fight for the richest prize in wrestling in front of his family and friends. He talks about how he has to keep his nose clean to earn that spot. He can’t lose his temper. He can’t get disqualified. He wants to make his family proud. He has to make New York proud. Eddie is recounting his story again when Bam Bam Bigelow says he is TIRED of hearing Eddie Kingston’s story. He is tired of Eddie Kingston, and he is tired of New York. He says when art arrives to Arthur Ashe Stadium, it will be his family piling in the car and driving the hour and fifteen minutes from Asbury Park, New Jersey to watch him win the art World Championship. Eddie says it would be amazing to see someone from New Jersey win something, it wasn’t going to happen on his watch, and it wasn’t going to happen in New York. Eddie says the two of them are not going to be able to settle this with words. Bigelow agrees because he’s going to knock so many of Kingston’s teeth out, he won’t be able to talk. Eddie laughs and slaps him. The two men have to be pulled apart. So much damage is done that both men are suspended. A video plays of Eddie Kingston walking along the Hudson River in New York talking about how he doesn’t want to lose his shot at the art World Championship, but Bam Bam Bigelow made him so angry he lost control. He says he knows this issue with Bigelow has to be resolved, but he doesn’t think it can end in the confines of a match. A video plays of Bigelow also walking along the Hudson River but on the New Jersey side. He says him and Kingston weren’t that different. He said they were two tough kids who never had a hard time finding trouble. Bigelow agreed that a regular match couldn’t end it. Bigelow suggests the two men meet on the George Washington Bridge to discuss terms. Cameras follow them to the meeting, but before they can get mic’d, a fight breaks out. Bigelow uses the chain link fence on the walking path across the bridge to cut Eddie open. He fights back in a rage and nearly throws Bigelow into traffic. When the suspensions end, the men return to art agreeing to stay away from each other until this thing can be settled in a Hudson River Street Fight. They have a contract signing where both men are brought onto the stage in handcuffs. Kingston signs first noting that the cuffs weren’t necessary as he was perfectly fine waiting for the fight. Bigelow gets one hand free to sign when he STABS KINGSTON WITH THE PEN! He knocks the table over before anyone can stop him and brutalizes Kingston who is still in handcuffs. They finally get him subdued when a bloody Kingston says he’s been trying to be good, but the world has made it damn near impossible his entire life. He says it’s not about New York or New Jersey anymore. He says it’s not about the World Title anymore. He says he’s been trying to be good, but he’s got all of these bad things pent up inside of him. He’s got all of these bad things pent up inside of him, and they are going to be DUMPED on Bam Bam Bigelow in the Hudson River Street Fight and he’s going to dump all of the hatred, all of the anger, and all of the violence that pollutes his soul on Bam Bam Bigelow.
Freak Show
Goldust versus Danhausen
american rasslin theatre always fixated a spotlight on one particular freak, Goldust. However, the Bizarre One decided to go on a search. He decided to go on a search for the next great freak. He searched in every crack and crevice in the world of professional wrestling to find the next great freak. He found a diamond in the rough when he discovered Danhausen. The Very Nice, Very Evil star became a cult icon of sorts. His journey towards earning many bags of human money as well as a blimp made Danhaused someone unlike anyone art had seen before. Everybody loved that Danhausen. Everybody except one. Goldust’s jealousy fueled his rage. He brutally attacked Danhausen. He tried to resume his place in the spotlight, but everyone wanted Danhausen. Goldust insisted Danhausen would never return. However, as the weeks went on, Goldust was haunted by the presence. Finally, Goldust demanded a fight with the beloved Very Nice, Very Evil Danhausen.
Streak vs Streak
1-2-3 Kid versus Wardlow
Wardlow has been on a path of destruction from the word go. He has not only won matches. He has dominated opponents. He has ended careers. The world is in awe of the beast. He is seemingly infallible. His undefeated streak has been the stuff of legend. Believe it or not, Wardlow is not the only person on a streak in american rasslin theatre. Sean Waltman recently made the transformation into the 1-2-3 Kid, and since then, he has been unstoppable. What he lacks in size and dominance, he makes up for in heart. He has found a way to win in all of his recent matches overcoming insurmountable odds. However, he has NEVER faced anyone like Wardlow. Kid asked for this match. He demanded the biggest challenge the art matchmakers could put together. Wardlow laughed when Waltman said he could end the streak of the monstrous Wardlow. One thing that cannot be denied is the heart and bravery of Waltman. One undefeated streak will end.
Losers Lose Their Tune
The Acclaimed [‘Platinum’ Max Caster and Anthony Bowens] versus Jeff Jarrett and The Roadie
While they didn’t like it when they insulted their favorites, art fans soon came to realize that what Anthony Bowens says is true, “Everyone loves The Acclaimed”. Fans showed up in droves to a hip hop club to hear the sick beats of Max Caster. Mid rap, Caster has a guitar broken over his head by none other than Jeff Jarrett. The Roadie knocks over his turntable and brawls with Anthony Bowens until the police arrive. Jarrett cuts a promo saying if people want to hear a real concert they should come to the honky tonk and listen to him perform his hit song “With My Baby Tonight”. Cameras show up at the concert, and that’s not all that shows up. The Acclaimed hack the sound system in the honky tonk and Max Caster does a rap on Jeff Jarrett. After they both ruin each other’s concerts, a stipulation is made. The losing team must come out to a theme song of the winner’s choice for 30 days.
A Gentleman’s Wager
Mr. Bob Backlund versus William Regal
Mr. Bob Backlund receives the Pro Wrestling Illustrated Technician of the Year Award. He says the reason that he is recognized for his great technical wrestling is his respect for his opponents. He says he always gives respect and expects the same in return. He never loses his cool. William Regal, the runner up for the award, walks out during Mr. Backlund’s interview. Backlund extends his hand to Mr. Regal who laughs. Backlund has a bewildered look on his face before Regal slaps the look right off his face. He walks away and Backlund is irate. He shows ruthlessness in his coming matches, constantly calling out Regal, demanding the wiley vet shake his hand. Regal cuts a promo about how he’s gotten in the head of Backlund. He’s exposed his temper, and that will be Backlund’s downfall. He says the Regal Stretch is a superior hold to the Crossface Chicken Wing, and he’s willing to make a wager on it. If Backlund can make him submit to the Crossface Chicken Wing, he’ll shake his hand. However, if Regal wins, Mr. Backlund must forfeit the award.
Singles Match
Sherri Martel versus Jade Cargill
Since retiring from the ring game, Sherri Martel has made quite the career as a manager. She has led several male athletes to championships all over the country. Feeling as though she had accomplished everything there was to do with male clients, she wanted to find the next great female star. She found Jade Cargill. This combination proved to be a deadly one for women across the territory. Martel declared Jade Cargill to be the most dominant female wrestler in the game today. Jade took it one step further and said she was the most dominant of all time. Sherri took umbrage with that remark. She smiled and said ‘I don’t know about that’. This is where the miscommunication in the dominant duo began. If Sherri interfered in one of Jade’s matches, Cargill would get herself counted out. She then declared she didn’t need Sherri. However, Martel reminded her that she was still under contract. Jade mentioned how Sherri had been side eyeing ever since she told everyone she was better than her. Cargill made a proposal. She said Sherri could come out of retirement for one match. If she beat Jade and proved she was the greatest, Jade would honor her contract. If Jade won, the contract would be canceled and Cargill would no longer have a manager. Sherri agreed, and she reminded Jade that she taught Cargill everything That B*tch knows, but she didn’t teach her everything This B*tch knows.
[art] of Allegiance Championships Match
The Heavenly Bodies (Dr. Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray) versus The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson)
Many people believe The Young Bucks have the potential to be [art] of Allegiance Champions. They had been on a pretty impressive winning streak until things suddenly stopped going their way. Bad officiating, outside interference, and other bad things start happening to the Young Bucks. Someone is paying people off to sabotage the careers of Matt and Nick. In fact, a group called The Cult put a hit out on The Young Bucks. However, despite the efforts of The Cult, The Young Bucks have remained successful. While competing for the [art] of Allegiance Championships in a Ladder Match, two masked men attack everyone involved. They steal the [art] of Allegiance Championships. art management agrees to meet with The Cult to discuss what needs to happen in order to get the championships back. The Cult wants their men to get a job and a match against The Young Bucks for those championships. Those in charge at art do not want to give into the demands, but The Young Bucks say they will face whomever The Cult puts up against them. Their opponents? The Heavenly Bodies, but you already knew that.
Truth is I chickened out for the second time on a concept draft. Originally I wasn't going to explain ANY of the match backstories! It was just going to be Log Lad soliloquies followed by the match listings. If you got it, you got it. If not, oh well. One day I will fully commit to a concept show with no concessions. I fully expect to be shut out when that day comes.
