Roughly 33% of surveyed millennials felt a man who is not a romantic partner commenting on the attractiveness of a woman as sexual harassment. Nearly 25% considered a man who is not a romantic partner asking a woman out for a drink sexual harassment.

This really made me think of how socially different dating is going to be.  Like, what is millennial dating and pick up game now?  Is it all on dating sites and apps?  I can see where the virtual courtship has made the analog old school courtship seem primitive and barbaric.  But is it true?  Is the future of American millennial dating going to be a dance of digital data?  Is it already?

What is a millenial?

Jan 19, 2018 17:05:42 GMT Mistress said:

What is a millenial?

individuals born between 1982 and 2004.  Generally speaking 18- twentysomethings.

Ok.

And I think dating apps are the future of dating. Approaching someone online is so much easier.

Remember the video "walking for 10 hrs in NYC?" hot girl walks for 10 hrs and there was enough footage for 3 mins of harassment. And by that we mean men calling her beautiful. You have to be insane to approach a stranger in public during the metoo movement.

Apps are the future. You can block and some only allow the woman to initiate. We are so plugged in these days it is a lot easier. You have hundreds of locals a right swipe away.

I’d be curious about the circumstance the millennials were speaking of ( at 35 am a millennial). Those answers make sense in the workplace and in walking down a street, less so in a bar.

Edit: after reading the poll info in the economist I have a different opinion: 25% of people will say anything. 25% of men think making sexual jokes to women isn’t harassment, hell somewhere between 15-20% of men thinknits not harassment to ask for sexual favors.

Jan 19, 2018 18:49:17 GMT mikec said:

I’d be curious about the circumstance the millennials were speaking of ( at 35 am a millennial). Those answers make sense in the workplace and in walking down a street, less so in a bar.

Edit: after reading the poll info in the economist I have a different opinion: 25% of people will say anything. 25% of men think making sexual jokes to women isn’t harassment, hell somewhere between 15-20% of men thinknits not harassment to ask for sexual favors.

Curiously, the survey showed the youngest women in the US were the most down with being asked for sexual favors.  


Who the hell wolf whistles?

There's actually a sub-generation in between GenX and Millennials called Xennials. Characterized by having an analogue childhood, but digital adulthood. Birth years of 1977-1983. I think that makes a lot of sense.

Anyways, with everything being done on cell phones these days, I have no idea what the dating scene is even like. The younger generation (not necessarily Millennials) have no idea how to communicate in person. So many of them interact exclusively through their phones. They hang out in person...playing on their phones. Very interesting to see how this changes social culture.

To be honest, up until this point I didn't realize how big the window was for the group called millennials.

My work is about 90% female staff, mostly aged 18-25 or older. They are normally the ones that are flirty or having sexually explicit conversations, with both male and female co-workers. Nothing bad has come from it, and no one made to feel uncomfortable to my knowledge. Yet you go online and it sounds like you’ll get accused of harassing a female if you look at them sideways.

I think third wave feminism has taken a lot away from serious problems of sexual misconduct and assault, it’s messed up that Aziz Anzari and Harvey Weinstein are considered to be just as guilty now.

I don’t know anyone that actually thinks Aziz Ansari and Harvey Weinstein are the same. Feels like we shoul all learn a lesson from PW, people say stupid shit on the internet. It doesn’t make it reality.

An advertisement... I think it means we are legit now as a forum!

The Xennials thing should extend to like 1985, imo. I was born in 84 and had the analog childhood/online adulthood thing. We didn't have internet in our house until I was like 13, and even then it was dial-up hell that was barely useful for anything. I didn't know the joys of highspeed internet until I moved to a city to go to college and started paying for it myself.

Anyway, I have a few younger friends that are still in the dating pool and it looks like absolute hell. Everyone seems to use dating apps these days, which to me is ironic because I met my wife on a dating website 10 years ago and even to this day when I tell people that they're like "omg, really!? That's sooo weird."

Like, fuck you buddy. You're literally on Tinder while I'm talking to you.

I keep seeing stories on twitter of women being approached at bars when they don't want to be, yet I frequent bars here quite often and I almost never see this in the wild and when I do, the guy gets the hint within minutes. One has to wonder if these stories of single incidents are causing women to be on the look out for their "twitter story," in the sense that some poor bastard who wills up the courage to go say hi to a woman he finds attractive is going to say hi to her when she's already on the defensive. But I guess that could happen anyway, even without social media focusing on stories like that so much lately.

I don't know. Maybe there are more sleazeball men out there than I think, and that's part of the problem. I just know that when I was dating, approaching women in bars seemed easy, like they all knew it was a possibility before they got there. I think of all the times I approached a woman at a bar (that wasn't already part of our group for whatever reason), I took one home once, while all others would either give me a chance with a brief conversation or tell me to get lost with their words or body language, which I respected. I just assumed most men were like me, but these days it seems like I'm in the minority.

I had far better luck with dating apps/websites in my day. Everyone on there knew why they were there and had an easier time communicating their intentions thanks to the mask of the internet. Looking for a relationship? Cool, me too. Let's meet for a drink sometime. Looking for a hook-up? That's fine by me also, let's meet for a drink sometime. That's why these apps have taken over, because they're convenient and it's much easier to get everything out in the open, sometimes before you even meet the person.

We will probably reach a point soon where apps are the sole way of meeting dates. Why risk rejection and harassment charges (along with paying for the opportunity) when you can swipe right until you find matches? In a lot of ways it is like ordering a pizza.

I didn’t realise Millenials went back that far either, I was born in 1991 and can clearly remember VHS tapes and no internet. We had dial up in the very early 2000’s but It wasn’t convenient enough to be online all the time, especially if someone wanted to use the phone.

I'm so old, I did my first year of University without internet at home. Mind you that was 1999-00, so there was no excuse. I was so pissed off at my parents for not getting the internet that I got it hooked up myself at my parents house. They ended up paying for it though, so that was a win!

I'm thankful that I met my wife "the old fashioned way". I hosted a party for a mutual friend and we hit it off. Prior to that, I used POF for some dates, and man that was horrible.

Also, how the heck did a bot find us?!

I don't know who came up with this idea that people of my age are millennials, it doesn't really make sense to me, I grew up in the 90's and was already bitching about everything sucking by the years 2000-2001. I have memories of watching Alf, Paula Abdul, and Road House when I was a kid for crying out loud. To me a millennial would be someone who was born after 97 or 98 and grew up entirely in the 2000's. By 1999 I was already working for my own paycheck and having sex*, I'm not a fucking millennial by god. 

*with my hand

I HATE internet dating. It's so much fucking work. It's like you have to put in 6 weeks of texting just so she feels halfway comfortable your not a god damn rapist. I don't do it. I go for cold approaches on the street and in the store or wherever. MOST women seem flattered. I've never once had the cops put on me or had a woman grab a rape whistle. Sure i've encountered a straight up bitch or two but the overwhelming majority were either flattered or were respectful with their rejection. There is a lot to be said for a face to face connection at the start instead of building something over texts for weeks that may not transfer over to the real world. I'd rather just jump straight into the real world shit. If they don't, they probably aren't the right one for me.

Jan 30, 2018 1:30:38 GMT vendrell said:

I HATE internet dating. It's so much fucking work. It's like you have to put in 6 weeks of texting just so she feels halfway comfortable your not a god damn rapist. I don't do it. I go for cold approaches on the street and in the store or wherever. MOST women seem flattered. I've never once had the cops put on me or had a woman grab a rape whistle. Sure i've encountered a straight up bitch or two but the overwhelming majority were either flattered or were respectful with their rejection. There is a lot to be said for a face to face connection at the start instead of building something over texts for weeks that may not transfer over to the real world. I'd rather just jump straight into the real world shit. If they don't, they probably aren't the right one for me.

Usually you want to push for a meet-up ASAP when it comes to internet dating. Usually within the first few messages. A lot of people use it as a time waster/validation boost so if after a few messages she isn't down to meet up for a drink/coffee it's best to move on. Since girls get so many messages you're gonna get lost in the shuffle. I think as more people move on to apps it becomes pretty bold to actually approach someone in public, so you may actually be seen as more attractive since you're willing to take the chance. I've had far more success online than cold approaches, so it's worth the investment.

Basically it's recommended you don't waste a bunch of time through text and online communication, get straight to meeting up. Save all your good material for the actual date. Texting is for logistics. But hey, you seem to do okay with the ladies so clearly you know what you're doing.

Jan 30, 2018 1:57:23 GMT @ness said:

Jan 30, 2018 1:30:38 GMT vendrell said:

I HATE internet dating. It's so much fucking work. It's like you have to put in 6 weeks of texting just so she feels halfway comfortable your not a god damn rapist. I don't do it. I go for cold approaches on the street and in the store or wherever. MOST women seem flattered. I've never once had the cops put on me or had a woman grab a rape whistle. Sure i've encountered a straight up bitch or two but the overwhelming majority were either flattered or were respectful with their rejection. There is a lot to be said for a face to face connection at the start instead of building something over texts for weeks that may not transfer over to the real world. I'd rather just jump straight into the real world shit. If they don't, they probably aren't the right one for me.

Usually you want to push for a meet-up ASAP when it comes to internet dating. Usually within the first few messages. A lot of people use it as a time waster/validation boost so if after a few messages she isn't down to meet up for a drink/coffee it's best to move on. Since girls get so many messages you're gonna get lost in the shuffle. I think as more people move on to apps it becomes pretty bold to actually approach someone in public, so you may actually be seen as more attractive since you're willing to take the chance. I've had far more success online than cold approaches, so it's worth the investment.

Basically it's recommended you don't waste a bunch of time through text and online communication, get straight to meeting up. Save all your good material for the actual date. Texting is for logistics. But hey, you seem to do okay with the ladies so clearly you know what you're doing.

LOL. Well ii'm no pick up artist or anything but when i'm in the mood to be social and see where something might go with a lady I find attractive, I just go for it.  If I find them attractive and they don't have a "get the fuck away from me vibe" I'll approach.  sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Again though, even when it's rejection 9 times out of 10 it's done in a nice way.  The fastest meet up I've ever had online was a week of texting back and forth for hours on end.  It was exhausting and we had nothing to talk about on the date. Horrible.  Worst date I ever had.  She spent most of her time texting.  Rude as hell. 

Jan 27, 2018 16:24:39 GMT Foos said:

Also, how the heck did a bot find us?!

as long as it posts in the right thread.

Jan 30, 2018 3:23:13 GMT vendrell said:

Jan 30, 2018 1:57:23 GMT @ness said:

Usually you want to push for a meet-up ASAP when it comes to internet dating. Usually within the first few messages. A lot of people use it as a time waster/validation boost so if after a few messages she isn't down to meet up for a drink/coffee it's best to move on. Since girls get so many messages you're gonna get lost in the shuffle. I think as more people move on to apps it becomes pretty bold to actually approach someone in public, so you may actually be seen as more attractive since you're willing to take the chance. I've had far more success online than cold approaches, so it's worth the investment.

Basically it's recommended you don't waste a bunch of time through text and online communication, get straight to meeting up. Save all your good material for the actual date. Texting is for logistics. But hey, you seem to do okay with the ladies so clearly you know what you're doing.

LOL. Well ii'm no pick up artist or anything but when i'm in the mood to be social and see where something might go with a lady I find attractive, I just go for it.  If I find them attractive and they don't have a "get the fuck away from me vibe" I'll approach.  sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Again though, even when it's rejection 9 times out of 10 it's done in a nice way.  The fastest meet up I've ever had online was a week of texting back and forth for hours on end.  It was exhausting and we had nothing to talk about on the date. Horrible.  Worst date I ever had.  She spent most of her time texting.  Rude as hell. 

Yeah, excessive phone use is a big peeve of mine... but I've kinda learned to accept it's just how we are as a society. After a few dates I've played the money game. Both of us put our phones face down on the table and whoever looks at theirs first has to cover both our bills (usually go dutch). There was one girl though who I had a first date with and she just wouldn't put it down, so I just left. Shame as I really wanted that waffle.

Jan 30, 2018 1:30:38 GMT vendrell said:

I HATE internet dating. It's so much fucking work. It's like you have to put in 6 weeks of texting just so she feels halfway comfortable your not a god damn rapist. I don't do it. I go for cold approaches on the street and in the store or wherever. MOST women seem flattered. I've never once had the cops put on me or had a woman grab a rape whistle. Sure i've encountered a straight up bitch or two but the overwhelming majority were either flattered or were respectful with their rejection. There is a lot to be said for a face to face connection at the start instead of building something over texts for weeks that may not transfer over to the real world. I'd rather just jump straight into the real world shit. If they don't, they probably aren't the right one for me.

I don't have the looks to meet anyone face to face. I rely on building a deep connection online before meeting in person. Because usually by the time we meet, they don't care how I look.


Before online dating became a thing no guy ever approached me.

To me an online "connection" usually doesn't translate to the real world.