Forgive me for the crummy subject title, but I wanted everyone's opinion on this topic. A little backstory...

I was on the phone with a friend of mine who has 2 kids: A son who is 15 years old and a daughter who is 13 years old. I was telling him about a peanut butter whiskey we sold at our store, when he told me that his daughter liked to drink candy cane vodka.

I asked him how the heck she got her hands on some vodka and he told me her friends father gave her some. I asked him if he was angry about it and he told me that his daughter (at age 13!) was a young adult and that he trusted her and her father friend who he is close with.

I asked him if he had lost his mind and we got into a lengthy argument after that, where he also told me his son smokes weed in front of him and he is ok with that. 

At what age do we consider kids as "young adults"? To me, its over the age of 18/19. What do you think?

Jan 9, 2024 12:48:02 GMT Joey said:

Forgive me for the crummy subject title, but I wanted everyone's opinion on this topic. A little backstory...

I was on the phone with a friend of mine who has 2 kids: A son who is 15 years old and a daughter who is 13 years old. I was telling him about a peanut butter whiskey we sold at our store, when he told me that his daughter liked to drink candy cane vodka.

I asked him how the heck she got her hands on some vodka and he told me her friends father gave her some. I asked him if he was angry about it and he told me that his daughter (at age 13!) was a young adult and that he trusted her and her father friend who he is close with.

I asked him if he had lost his mind and we got into a lengthy argument after that, where he also told me his son smokes weed in front of him and he is ok with that. 

At what age do we consider kids as "young adults"? To me, its over the age of 18/19. What do you think?

Your friend has about the same maturity as his kids.

Jan 9, 2024 13:30:32 GMT iNCY said:

Jan 9, 2024 12:48:02 GMT Joey said:

Forgive me for the crummy subject title, but I wanted everyone's opinion on this topic. A little backstory...

I was on the phone with a friend of mine who has 2 kids: A son who is 15 years old and a daughter who is 13 years old. I was telling him about a peanut butter whiskey we sold at our store, when he told me that his daughter liked to drink candy cane vodka.

I asked him how the heck she got her hands on some vodka and he told me her friends father gave her some. I asked him if he was angry about it and he told me that his daughter (at age 13!) was a young adult and that he trusted her and her father friend who he is close with.

I asked him if he had lost his mind and we got into a lengthy argument after that, where he also told me his son smokes weed in front of him and he is ok with that. 

At what age do we consider kids as "young adults"? To me, its over the age of 18/19. What do you think?

Your friend has about the same maturity as his kids.

Yup, pretty much. 

There's something to be said about harm reduction and safety concerns with having teenagers drink in a controlled environment like your house. While obviously against the law, you know it's going to happen. At least this way you can provide supervision and make sure everyone gets home safe or spends the night.

I started drinking at 14 and I don't think I was particularly safe about. Outdoor parties, getting into cars with 16+ year olds who had been drinking. We're so dumb as teenagers.

However I would never buy my 13 year old alcohol. Just too damn young. Maybe when they're 16/17 and a discussion happens and the above noted situation could occur. I shouldn't have drank at 14/15 and I certainly don't want my kids to.

With age of majority being 18 here, that's a pretty easy line to draw at young adults being 18-21 ish. First few years of University. But man, buying drugs and alcohol for your 13 year old? That's a line I'm not crossing.

Like Foos I was drinking irresponsibly at 14. Passed out in fields, bush parties, etc. I can't believe more crap didn't happen to me, honestly. I'm actually shocked I didn't die or get killed which is a sobering thought.

My daughter was a year or two younger than all her friends as she started school when she was 4 instead of 5 or 6. I believe my daughter was 15 when I started to let her have A cooler-as in 1-in my presence on a camping weekend with her friends with us moms present. She was never a big drinker and was already smoking pot with her friends behind my back (I do not smoke pot and neither does her father). I let her go to parties, BUT the caveat was I drove her there and I picked her up. I also bought her 2 coolers to take with her because otherwise people would push booze on her, but she knew the minute she put the open cooler down and left it unattended to leave it and not pick it up again. I don't know how many kids I took home sloppy drunk to parents that had zero clue where they were or what they were doing. Once my daughter called me to pick them up because her friend was really sick and I ended up taking them to Emerg because the kid has alcohol poisoning. Calling that parent was horrible.

My daughter just turned 25 and has frequently told me how much she appreciated me giving her the freedom to be young (with rules) and how safe she felt knowing I was a text/call away. She told me the one time she went to a party without me knowing was the worst time ever and how scared she was because I didn't know where she was and who she was with and never did it again.

I've told all my nieces and nephews. If you need a ride home from a party/bar, call me. I will always come for you (unless I have been drinking -which happens less and less these days) which is a much better alternative to being stuck someplace in the elements, feeling unsafe or getting in the car with someone impaired.

I wouldn't have ever allowed it at 12-14. 

All these flavored alcohols don't teach them. They need to chug a bottle of Big Bear or shots of Everclear. Then they'll learn.

13 is far too young to be drinking. But in saying that, my drunk of an Uncle gave me and my cousin (not his dad) a beer at 12 or 13. I drank it, but it tasted like horse piss and it was probably a reason why I wasn't all that motivated to really drink until my later teens. I'd have the odd Bourbon and Coke around 15 at like Christmas, or family events that's about it until 17 or 18 and my senior year kicked off.

In hindsight I appreciate that my parents in a low key way taught me that drinking is something you do in moderation in both volume and frequency. My Dad drinks occasionally, but barely, and only really at social events or he might have a beer or two during the summer months, but again in moderation.

The human brain finishes maturing at 25; until then certain parts -- notably the part that measures risk -- are underdeveloped. (This is how one can convince 18 year olds to sign up for war: I won't die, I'm invincible.)

But we let 18-year olds live on their own, pay rent and all that and they seem to be doing okay staying alive and making their way through the world somehow so I dunno.

Otherwise I'm on the same page as Foos and iron maiden (or at least I think I am) as much as I can without being a parent myself. Unless you're going to hover over your kids 24/7 or lock them in a tower, eventually they will be in a situation where there will be alcohol. I can't see much of a downside to letting them have a sip of wine for dinner or something, enough to make it not a forbidden fruit and find their lightly-buzzed limits while they're right there under your roof.

I would never ever give them hard stuff, though. Decent wine or cheap beer, you ain't getting the good stuff. Wouldn't appreciate it anyway.

I always seem to be on the other side of things these days.
Young people aren't drinking for the sake of enjoying it, they are drinking for societal reasons and to get drunk.
In Europe the culture is to have a glass of wine with dinner from a young age, but that is not "drinking" the point is the wine, not the experience of alcohol.

The risks of alcohol are extreme in young people, I am not naive enough to think that young people won't experiment, but I see no reason to be giving hard alcohol to children.
The science shows there is really no safe level of alcohol consumption and starting people with habitual drinking at a young age is not the same as giving a 16yo a sip of your beer or whatever.

I thought young people were drinking less than previous generations?

Jan 10, 2024 5:46:17 GMT NATH45 said:

I thought young people were drinking less than previous generations?

I've read something similar recently as well

Jan 10, 2024 5:46:17 GMT NATH45 said:

I thought young people were drinking less than previous generations?

Pretty sure that is of young people who are of legal drinking age

Not just that System but a shift towards a sober living lifestyle. Combination of increased costs if alcohol (both at home and out in clubs/bars/ restaurants etc, and being more interested in the experiences with friends and partners (and actually remembering them!).

In my area there's been several recent start up companies that market hard sober drinking. Many different options of zero alcohol craft beers, huge variety of both pre made canned mocktails or bottles. A lot of bars are increasing their mocktails options.

As far as under 18 drinking trends I don't think I've seen anything about that. May be challenging data to get and verify.

Mocktails and zero % alcohol beers and wines are HUGE right now. And really you can make any mocktail into a cocktail prettily easily if you want. They cost as much as alcoholic beverages, but with zero of the hangover and you can still be part of the 'social scene'.

My friend who used to own bars said she would hate to own one now because they aren't drinking. They are all vaping and/or standing outside smoking up. We went out for my friends' 50th and the place was packed. At least the danceflloor and outside patios were. I thought the bars would be 5-10 deep, but there were zero lineups and bartenders standing around. That's why the cover charge was super high...they gotta make their money somehow. Well that and they are smart to have a kitchen that offers 'pub' food. Smoking weed = munchies or so I've been told.

Jan 10, 2024 2:39:48 GMT iNCY said:

Young people aren't drinking for the sake of enjoying it, they are drinking for societal reasons and to get drunk.

It’s always been that way. Young people drinking cheap nasty stuff to get drunk isn't news. I've very rarely seen a person under 21 standing in the wine aisle curiously deciding if he wants a strong rich red or a dry white.

I agree with incy alcohol is poison. It is. No level is good for you. That said I drank like a fish from the ages of 16 to 25. Took a long break. Began drinking a little again in my 40s. But have since stopped.

Alchohal consumption seems down to me. Just looking at my son’s friends and classmates. Compared to mine at his age. Anecdotal but take it for what you will.


I love weed. But I also don’t think it’s a good idea for young people. Had I had the finances and access to it as an adolescent that I do now? I feel like that wouldn’t have been good for me.

I do also understand giving young people a place to do it. They are gonna do it so Why not give the a safe place? Where perhaps they take it easier because adults are near by. And they don’t drive and kill themselves or someone else.



Like most shit it’s complicated and I’m not gonna judge either said of that argument to harshly.