Post by theend on Apr 27, 2024 14:38:08 GMT
I smoked for 10-15 years. Obviously, addicted. In a book I am listening to on depression, they mentioned smoking and addiction and mental disorder all in the same vein.
And I came to the realization that I too may have had a mental disorder. I never thought of it that way before. But here I stand, oddly conflicted. Did I beat a mental disorder when I quit smoking after years of struggling? Am I the mental disorder champion? I don't feel like it.. I don't even really feel like I had a mental disorder. I got trapped into a corporate chemical addiction through a combination of adolescent curiosity and rebellion that spiraled into the culture of labor. This, coming from the guy eho worked for big tobacco for over ten years. And I broke the cycle with a healthy level of disgust and the inconvenience of smoking indoors as no longer regularly accessible of common place.
Quitting smoking is sometimes given the amount of revelatory as quitting hard drugs. The hardest addiction to break by many. I don't, in particular, buy that either. Smoking is easy to do. Especially when accessible and affordable. Quitting doesn't take rehab and doesn't physically harm you as you quit. You can literally, just walk away and just have urges to smoke. That's it. No chills, shakes, or hallucinations.
All that said, as much I don't feel like my decade of smoking was a mental disorder. My father is dying of smoking. He has COPD, he had lung cancer, he just recently had a pacemaker put in after having a complete heart block. Heart rate was 27 bpm. The combination of those things will likely kill him. All stemming from smoking for 50+ years. To say he continued to harm himself in spite of obvious signs of harm is clearly a mental disorder to some. It just doesn't feel right. It feels like it is cheapening other mental disorders. Or maybe I am just not accepting.
I know I sound possibly like a hypocrite. But this is just my personal revelations in 24 hrs that I share on the semi anonymous message board I have been on for longer than I smokeed.
I don't feel qualified to join the ranks of those suffering from depression, ADHD, etc on infinitum. I can't feel comfortable rolling up to someone at AA and saying I know what they are going through.
And I came to the realization that I too may have had a mental disorder. I never thought of it that way before. But here I stand, oddly conflicted. Did I beat a mental disorder when I quit smoking after years of struggling? Am I the mental disorder champion? I don't feel like it.. I don't even really feel like I had a mental disorder. I got trapped into a corporate chemical addiction through a combination of adolescent curiosity and rebellion that spiraled into the culture of labor. This, coming from the guy eho worked for big tobacco for over ten years. And I broke the cycle with a healthy level of disgust and the inconvenience of smoking indoors as no longer regularly accessible of common place.
Quitting smoking is sometimes given the amount of revelatory as quitting hard drugs. The hardest addiction to break by many. I don't, in particular, buy that either. Smoking is easy to do. Especially when accessible and affordable. Quitting doesn't take rehab and doesn't physically harm you as you quit. You can literally, just walk away and just have urges to smoke. That's it. No chills, shakes, or hallucinations.
All that said, as much I don't feel like my decade of smoking was a mental disorder. My father is dying of smoking. He has COPD, he had lung cancer, he just recently had a pacemaker put in after having a complete heart block. Heart rate was 27 bpm. The combination of those things will likely kill him. All stemming from smoking for 50+ years. To say he continued to harm himself in spite of obvious signs of harm is clearly a mental disorder to some. It just doesn't feel right. It feels like it is cheapening other mental disorders. Or maybe I am just not accepting.
I know I sound possibly like a hypocrite. But this is just my personal revelations in 24 hrs that I share on the semi anonymous message board I have been on for longer than I smokeed.
I don't feel qualified to join the ranks of those suffering from depression, ADHD, etc on infinitum. I can't feel comfortable rolling up to someone at AA and saying I know what they are going through.