Post by RT on Jun 15, 2024 14:34:54 GMT
pduh
Main Event
World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match
Roman Reigns(c) vs “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes vs Diamond Dallas Page
“The Heart Break Kid” Shawn Michael vs Seth “Freakin” Rollins
“Rated R Superstar” Edge vs Owen Hart
Jake “The Snake” Robert vs “Captain Charisma” Christian Cage
Intercontinental Championship Match
Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat(c) vs Jay White
“The Enforcer” Arn Anderson vs Antonio Inoki
Television Championship Match
“The Bruiser-weight” Pete Dunne(c) vs Josh Alexander
Carmelo Hayes vs Swerve Strickland
Triple Threat Match
Terry Gordy vs Fit Finley vs Kyle O’Reilly
Baker
Main Event
World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match
Roman Reigns(c) vs “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes vs Diamond Dallas Page
“The Heart Break Kid” Shawn Michael vs Seth “Freakin” Rollins
“Rated R Superstar” Edge vs Owen Hart
Jake “The Snake” Robert vs “Captain Charisma” Christian Cage
Intercontinental Championship Match
Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat(c) vs Jay White
“The Enforcer” Arn Anderson vs Antonio Inoki
Television Championship Match
“The Bruiser-weight” Pete Dunne(c) vs Josh Alexander
Carmelo Hayes vs Swerve Strickland
Triple Threat Match
Terry Gordy vs Fit Finley vs Kyle O’Reilly
Baker
KAPOW Presents...
LawlerLanaMania
Emanating from the historic Mid-South Coliseum in "The Wrestling Capital of the World" Memphis, TN on February 23, 1991
Available on Pay Per View for the low, low price of $19.99
=========================
Over one year ago Prince Nana, frustrated by his own stagnating career in the men's division, embarked on a world tour to find a woman he could lead to championship gold. Deep in the jungles of the Amazon rainforest, he found his weapon of mass destruction in Jungle Grrrl who he lured to Memphis through a mix of coaxing of kidnapping. The South American highflyer served as both fighter and footstool for the arrogant Ghanaian until her old boyfriend from the rainforest, Jungle Boy, rescued her from the clutches of the evil prince. It was a heartwarming story of a young man traveling over 3,000 miles to save his damsel in distress from the naughty Nana.
Frustrated and now outnumbered, Nana wrote to his old friend Queen Elizabeth II imploring her for aid. After some good-natured ribbing from Queenie, including chastising Nana over not bringing in her favorite, The Warlord, The Queen offered to send over the current bane of her existence, Godiva. Queen Elizabeth was glad to be rid of the young lass from Coventry who was causing one scandal after another in Buckingham Palace. If she wasn't riding around the grounds naked, she was corrupting Princesses Margaret & Anne, or getting caught in bed with another young royal gentleman. Her antics have not let up on this side of the pond. In a break from the norm, it is now the woman who rules over Nana as Godiva now has the Prince wrapped around her finger. She's even used him as a footstool a time or two! And much of Nana's famed shrimp cocktail is now being consumed by Godiva's horse!
Yeah, there's match here, but who really cares about that when I've got Princes, Horse-Riding Nudists, and Jungle Couples I can be writing about? Here are some gifs to meet the two wrestlers I'm sure you are unfamiliar with...
Lawler. Jarrett. Godiva. Only the coolest wrestlers ride horses to the ring.
The dreaded Buckingham Bounce! Jungle Grrrl will have to watch out for this. '
Prince Nana
Jungle Boy
2. Mistresses of the Powerbomb (Wendi Richter & Judy Martin) vs. Sultry Sidekicks (Mariah May & Patti Pizzazz)
Judy calls it the Drip Dry
While Wendi calls it....the Powerbomb. How original!
No Patti gif because the best Patti Pizzazz video has vanished, but she's a cheerleader (duh) who is not very bright.
Mariah May is Toni Storm's understudy
Patti & Mariah became fast friends despite the fact that it was hate at first sight between their respective leading ladies. More on that later. This is a complicated quadrangle so pay attention. Patti is Lana's lackey. Lana has beef with Judy. Mariah is Toni's lackey. Toni has beef with Wendi. So, Lana & Toni are using their lackeys to take out their rivals. Got it?
3. Power Team USA (Reggie Bennett & Terri Power) vs. Big Island Babes (Nia Jax & Mt. Fiji)- Fan Favorite Friendly
WWF has Hogan & Warrior. WCW has Sting & Luger. Women's Wrestling has Reggie & Terri. They're the popular patriotic powerhouses who rule the roost. But...
They're up against the large and in charge duo of Mount Fiji & Nia Jax. So, you've got the strongest tag team against the biggest tag team. In other words, the irresistible force meets the immovable object...a pair of Hogans vs. a pair of Andres. Dimes will be drawn. Anyway, here is former Olympic shot putter Mount Fiji...
Nia Jax
4. Atrocious Alliance (Dump Matsumoto & Aja Kong) vs. Caged Heat- Jailhouse Death Match
This one will not be for the faint of heart. There will be blood. There will be violence. There will be no rules. Only lawlessness. Match can only end by pinfall or submission. Anything goes until then.
This match only came about because both teams regularly reach irresponsible levels of violence. A ring cannot contain them. Dump Matsumoto is pure evil. Like she's what the Delgado Master from classic Doctor Who thinks he is, a pure sadist who is happier hurting an opponent than winning. While her partner Aja Kong is a 200+ pound wrecking machine who enjoys whacking people in the head with metal boxes. And Caged Heat is such a menace to society that they're imprisoned. This match is taking place in their jail! Prison typically lets them out on leave to wrestle just so they can be rid of them for a few hours!
Dump
Aja
Caged Heat
5. Eddie Gilbert (c) vs. Jerry Lawler- KAPOW Championship- QUADRANGLE Match
From violence to ultraviolence.... These two have been warring all over the Kingdom for years with Lawler winning their early battles...
Only for Gilbert to up the ante and prevail later...
Gilbert took advantage of Lawler's internal injuries to win the KAPOW Championship after this dastardly deed. Lawler has been on the shelf for months. Gilbert has become more unhinged than ever with Lawler out of action. "Hot Stuff" has fireballed and piledriven most of the male wrestlers out of the territory while proclaiming himself the "King of Philadelphia." Even Nana has washed his hands of his former charge, opting instead to play second fiddle to Godiva.
But The King has returned! And there is only one thing on his mind- VENGEANCE! Now this should technically be a Lawlermania, but isn't for complicated reasons involving Lawler's absence and Lana Star's status as "Executive Producer and Vice President of KAPOW." It doesn't really matter.....except....
It's worth noting Lawler has a 90+% win rate at Lawlermania. That number plummets to roughly 60% outside of Lawlermania. And he does have those pesky internal injuries to worry about....And this is a Very Dangerous Quadrangle Match...
6. Lana Star (c) vs. "Timeless" Toni Storm- KAPOW Women's Championship Match
It was always going to be love or hate with these two. They're too similar to have lukewarm feelings. Both fancy themselves Hollywood starlets. Both have flunkies. Both have egos bigger than the Hollywood sign itself. Turns out hate won out. Turns out it was hate at first sight....
They met. Did that phony Hollywood kiss on the cheek thing. Each put the other over. Then they walked away. Lana to Patti: "Hate her!" Toni to Mariah: "What a bitch!" It only escalated from there. Lana was here first. This is her promotion (Lawler was out of action and had bigger fish to fry...for the time being). Toni Storm is just a Lana Star wannabe in her eyes. But Toni doesn't see it that way. She's been a star since the silent era! To Toni, it's Lana who is the Janey come lately. Toni even had the gall to give Lana advice!- "Chin up. Tits out. Watch for the shoe." Then Toni threw her shoe in Lana's face. Lana was not well pleased. This is destined to be the most Pinkalicious match ever!
The who's who of Hollywood will be making their way to Memphis for what is bound to be the biggest blockbuster of the year. Everyone from Hayley Mills to Tom Skerritt, Dabney Coleman to Memphis' own Dennis Haskins will be in the Mid-South Coliseum to see this star-studded spectacular whose reverberations will be felt nearly 2,000 miles away in Tinseltown.
vs. 
*Lana is SOOOO mad that Toni's pic was bigger than hers and now I have to hit send and get out of here before I get hit with the dreaded Lana Star Facelift
Emanating from the historic Mid-South Coliseum in "The Wrestling Capital of the World" Memphis, TN on February 23, 1991
Available on Pay Per View for the low, low price of $19.99
=========================
1. Prince Nana & Godiva vs. Jungle Boy & Jungle Grrrl- Mixed Tag Grudge Match
Over one year ago Prince Nana, frustrated by his own stagnating career in the men's division, embarked on a world tour to find a woman he could lead to championship gold. Deep in the jungles of the Amazon rainforest, he found his weapon of mass destruction in Jungle Grrrl who he lured to Memphis through a mix of coaxing of kidnapping. The South American highflyer served as both fighter and footstool for the arrogant Ghanaian until her old boyfriend from the rainforest, Jungle Boy, rescued her from the clutches of the evil prince. It was a heartwarming story of a young man traveling over 3,000 miles to save his damsel in distress from the naughty Nana.
Frustrated and now outnumbered, Nana wrote to his old friend Queen Elizabeth II imploring her for aid. After some good-natured ribbing from Queenie, including chastising Nana over not bringing in her favorite, The Warlord, The Queen offered to send over the current bane of her existence, Godiva. Queen Elizabeth was glad to be rid of the young lass from Coventry who was causing one scandal after another in Buckingham Palace. If she wasn't riding around the grounds naked, she was corrupting Princesses Margaret & Anne, or getting caught in bed with another young royal gentleman. Her antics have not let up on this side of the pond. In a break from the norm, it is now the woman who rules over Nana as Godiva now has the Prince wrapped around her finger. She's even used him as a footstool a time or two! And much of Nana's famed shrimp cocktail is now being consumed by Godiva's horse!
Yeah, there's match here, but who really cares about that when I've got Princes, Horse-Riding Nudists, and Jungle Couples I can be writing about? Here are some gifs to meet the two wrestlers I'm sure you are unfamiliar with...
Lawler. Jarrett. Godiva. Only the coolest wrestlers ride horses to the ring.The dreaded Buckingham Bounce! Jungle Grrrl will have to watch out for this. ' Prince NanaJungle Boy2. Mistresses of the Powerbomb (Wendi Richter & Judy Martin) vs. Sultry Sidekicks (Mariah May & Patti Pizzazz)
Judy calls it the Drip DryWhile Wendi calls it....the Powerbomb. How original!No Patti gif because the best Patti Pizzazz video has vanished, but she's a cheerleader (duh) who is not very bright. Mariah May is Toni Storm's understudyPatti & Mariah became fast friends despite the fact that it was hate at first sight between their respective leading ladies. More on that later. This is a complicated quadrangle so pay attention. Patti is Lana's lackey. Lana has beef with Judy. Mariah is Toni's lackey. Toni has beef with Wendi. So, Lana & Toni are using their lackeys to take out their rivals. Got it?
3. Power Team USA (Reggie Bennett & Terri Power) vs. Big Island Babes (Nia Jax & Mt. Fiji)- Fan Favorite Friendly
WWF has Hogan & Warrior. WCW has Sting & Luger. Women's Wrestling has Reggie & Terri. They're the popular patriotic powerhouses who rule the roost. But...
They're up against the large and in charge duo of Mount Fiji & Nia Jax. So, you've got the strongest tag team against the biggest tag team. In other words, the irresistible force meets the immovable object...a pair of Hogans vs. a pair of Andres. Dimes will be drawn. Anyway, here is former Olympic shot putter Mount Fiji...
Nia Jax4. Atrocious Alliance (Dump Matsumoto & Aja Kong) vs. Caged Heat- Jailhouse Death Match
This one will not be for the faint of heart. There will be blood. There will be violence. There will be no rules. Only lawlessness. Match can only end by pinfall or submission. Anything goes until then.
This match only came about because both teams regularly reach irresponsible levels of violence. A ring cannot contain them. Dump Matsumoto is pure evil. Like she's what the Delgado Master from classic Doctor Who thinks he is, a pure sadist who is happier hurting an opponent than winning. While her partner Aja Kong is a 200+ pound wrecking machine who enjoys whacking people in the head with metal boxes. And Caged Heat is such a menace to society that they're imprisoned. This match is taking place in their jail! Prison typically lets them out on leave to wrestle just so they can be rid of them for a few hours!
DumpAja Caged Heat5. Eddie Gilbert (c) vs. Jerry Lawler- KAPOW Championship- QUADRANGLE Match
From violence to ultraviolence.... These two have been warring all over the Kingdom for years with Lawler winning their early battles...
Only for Gilbert to up the ante and prevail later...
Gilbert took advantage of Lawler's internal injuries to win the KAPOW Championship after this dastardly deed. Lawler has been on the shelf for months. Gilbert has become more unhinged than ever with Lawler out of action. "Hot Stuff" has fireballed and piledriven most of the male wrestlers out of the territory while proclaiming himself the "King of Philadelphia." Even Nana has washed his hands of his former charge, opting instead to play second fiddle to Godiva.
But The King has returned! And there is only one thing on his mind- VENGEANCE! Now this should technically be a Lawlermania, but isn't for complicated reasons involving Lawler's absence and Lana Star's status as "Executive Producer and Vice President of KAPOW." It doesn't really matter.....except....
It's worth noting Lawler has a 90+% win rate at Lawlermania. That number plummets to roughly 60% outside of Lawlermania. And he does have those pesky internal injuries to worry about....And this is a Very Dangerous Quadrangle Match...
6. Lana Star (c) vs. "Timeless" Toni Storm- KAPOW Women's Championship Match
It was always going to be love or hate with these two. They're too similar to have lukewarm feelings. Both fancy themselves Hollywood starlets. Both have flunkies. Both have egos bigger than the Hollywood sign itself. Turns out hate won out. Turns out it was hate at first sight....
They met. Did that phony Hollywood kiss on the cheek thing. Each put the other over. Then they walked away. Lana to Patti: "Hate her!" Toni to Mariah: "What a bitch!" It only escalated from there. Lana was here first. This is her promotion (Lawler was out of action and had bigger fish to fry...for the time being). Toni Storm is just a Lana Star wannabe in her eyes. But Toni doesn't see it that way. She's been a star since the silent era! To Toni, it's Lana who is the Janey come lately. Toni even had the gall to give Lana advice!- "Chin up. Tits out. Watch for the shoe." Then Toni threw her shoe in Lana's face. Lana was not well pleased. This is destined to be the most Pinkalicious match ever!
The who's who of Hollywood will be making their way to Memphis for what is bound to be the biggest blockbuster of the year. Everyone from Hayley Mills to Tom Skerritt, Dabney Coleman to Memphis' own Dennis Haskins will be in the Mid-South Coliseum to see this star-studded spectacular whose reverberations will be felt nearly 2,000 miles away in Tinseltown.
vs. *Lana is SOOOO mad that Toni's pic was bigger than hers and now I have to hit send and get out of here before I get hit with the dreaded Lana Star Facelift
