Baby's First Ride

So about a year ago when I was doing my Luke Harper run at home and I was doing my weekly psych appointments we went into my life and what I like to do with myself. Usually I've very self conscious about the things I like and do that simply because the public at large isn't all in like I tend to be. It doesn't matter how over "nerd culture" gets, there's a fine line between normie enjoying the trendy thing and being a weirdo. Certain things are considered cool and other things just aren't. So rather than admitting to rotting in front of a computer in my spare time I told the guy I liked roller coasters and theme parks. He commented on me being an enthusiast (suggested finding a group of like minded individuals) and I guess in a way I am.

I think I became rather obsessed in middle school after we had been stationed in Alaska for 4 years. There wasn't much in the way of theme parks, at least nothing I knew. There were fairs and carnivals, but nothing major. I do have vague memories of riding a coaster when we were stationed in Texas, possibly Six Flags? But until we arrived in Virginia I never really experienced the theme park day. There was a local one nearby called Busch Gardens. They have one in Florida that is animal/African themed, but the one here had a European flair to it. I wanna say this was around 1996 when we first went to this park. I say that because I remember another visit later on the new coaster was Alpengeist (opened in 97) and Drachen Fire (defunct for being rough as hell) was still active in the lineup.

I was amazed at the size and scope of the whole thing. Compared to your local carnival this park was massive. I'm gonna say it's probably the same general size as all of the big tier theme parks, but middle school me thought it was insane. I did not realize it at the time but being 30 minutes away from Williamsburg was a lowkey sweet spot for a coaster enthusiast. 30 minutes to Busch Gardens, hour to Kings Dominion and a few hours to Carrowinds, which I've never been to. Obviously as a kid I was reliant on my parents to go to Busch Gardens and we generally went as a family once a year in the summer and made a full day of it. We were certainly not a season pass type of family.

So I want to say the initial lineup of coasters for my first visit was Loch Ness Monster, Big Bad Wolf and Drachen Fire. As of today only Loch Ness is still active and given it's age and manufacturer I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it gets torn down as well. Initially I liked Loch Ness the best and it may have been my first "big boy" coaster. Of the three (UFOs, Bigfoot and Loch Ness) I was always partial to Nessie, so that may have affected my first few rides on it. Now clearly watching a POV video on Youtube will not do a ride justice, but looking at it in today's eyes doesn't show me much of anything. But 40 years ago and even when I first rode it in the 90s had me thinking it was amazing.

We lived in Virginia for 6 years I think we went a few more times. Once even as a field trip in 8th grade. Might do a middle school run down in a future series of stories, but think the seeds were definitely planted during those years for me to love roller coasters. I was fully on board with Roller Coaster Tycoon as a holdover until my next visit. Half the time I just watched coaster rides in their first person camera angles. Something about charging a fee for rides bugged me since none of the major companies did that, but it makes more sense to do that. I wonder if free entry and then charge for rides would net them the same or more profit?

Seemed like they opened up two new rides during my time living there - Alpengeist as I mentioned, but also Apollo's Chariot in 1999. This ride is famous because apparently Fabio head-butted a flock of geese during a ride. And this might just me, but I've never been one to call coasters by their "type" like say suspended or inverted but instead a clone or "wannabe" of the first coaster of that type that I rode. For instance Big Bad Wolf is a suspended and so every suspended is just Big Bad Wolf. Alpengeist is inverted, which is just a fancy term for ski lift.

With regards to these visits I always had a mini panic attack. Going into the parking lot and seeing it PACKED always worried me. Oh no we're gonna miss everything. I just have such a sense of dread with regards of crowds. Dad must've been strategic about the days he did take us because I don't recall things ever being too insane. We still waited in lines, but it wasn't unbearable. Must've been slow Tuesdays or something. I found that all I cared about were rides. Shows? Nah. Food? Probably didn't appreciate any of it because I was just antsy to get back to riding something else.

I'm not quite sure what this is gonna be. A love letter and exploration of all my theme parks visits? Perhaps reviews of rides? Next time I'll probably discuss individual rides and going to Kings Dominion for the first and only time.

Holy nostalgia, Batman! Growing up in the DC area, we'd hit Kings Dominion, Busch Gardens Williamsburg, and Six Flags every so often... Usually greater frequency based on greater proximity. That Scooby Doo wooden coaster was my first coaster, and Flight of Fear being indoor and in pitch black was my favorite for a minute. But nothing beat Avalanche for me. A bobsled-themed rollercoaster? Traffic was low once, so I was somehow able to just keep riding it in a row without deboarding.

What If The Straps Come Off During a Loop?

I've often wondered why I enjoy theme parks as much as I do. On paper it seems like the opposite of a Ness activity. At least currently. It takes places in public with a large crowd... waiting in line... loud noises... and usually only in the sunlight. Replace riding a roller coaster in that environment with literally anything else and I'm like fuck that. I think part of it is a hold-over from before the Internet took it's stranglehold on me and everyone's lives. Plus I think there's the nostalgia factor as well. It reminds me of a simpler time where I was a kid and there were no worries and stresses about everyday life.

Kings Dominion always felt like a bigger, better version of Busch Gardens. I dunno if that's the case anymore but in the late 90's when I went it sure felt that way. I think part of this was the water park aspect. Most of the big theme parks have a secondary water park, so it almost felt like 2 different places. It probably helps that Busch Gardens around this time felt like it was still growing a roster of attractions, whereas Kings Dominion already had a solid lineup.

One aspect that shit on Busch Gardens was their version of the battering ram. Every park seems to have one of these bad boys... the viking ship that rocks back and forth. But the one at this park took it to the extreme since it did the full 360 rotation. Probably the only ride that I still think about to this day. I'm not sure if it's the only of it's kind, but it's a lot more rare than the standard generic version. And unlike the standard variety it really didn't matter where you sat for the good seat. With the regular battering ram if you weren't sitting on the ends it was nearly pointless.

Unfortunately I don't have strong memories of the park other than that. Probably doesn't help that unlike Busch Gardens we only went once and it was such a long time ago. Maybe Busch was going more for quality than quantity in coasters since all of them have left lasting impacts on me and I didn't remember any of them from Kings Dominion, well except for one: Outer Limits Flight of Fear. I'm gonna assume this was based on a TV show. At the time they were under the Paramount umbrella and themed a lot of their attractions after Paramount properties. After they (and other parks) were acquired by Cedar Fair they cut the theming and now it's just Flight of Fear. They have a similar ride at Kings Island. Hell it could be identical for all I know.

Flight of Fear was an indoor coaster and what made it special was it was in the dark. Lights flickered on every so often to give you a slight peek, but for the most part you don't know what's going down. It was themed heavily with UFO and alien stuff and what made it even more special was it had one of those 0 to X MPH starts, which was unlike anything I'd experienced before where most coasters go slowly up a hill. Always thought it would be a unique twist to offer "light" rides without the darkness, though I suppose that takes away some of the magic.

My parents grew up in the Detroit area so the big destination park to them was Cedar Point, so I heard a lot about it growing up. My Dad always built it up as the be all end all of parks. I do wonder if all these memories he has are like my memories of Kings Dominion... things just seemed bigger and more epic from a kid's eyes. Afterall, he hadn't gone to Cedar Point since I had been born. We had plans to visit some family over the summer in Detroit and would be staying in the area for about a week and during this week I was finally going to see what Cedar Point was all about. Think I'll spend the next post talking about my initial Cedar Point impressions and the return visit 10 years later.

I'll be back to help detail the King's Dominion coasters from memory. They were on par with if not mostly better than Busch Gardens IMO.

Apparently There's 2 N's in Millennium

Honestly going to the amusement park unleashes a lot of anxiety in me. Seeing the crowds puts me on edge, at least it used to because seeing a full crowd sends dread up my spine. Whenever we were going as a family it was always right when they opened and generally a full day of riding rides and eating. We were never ones to be there until they kicked us out, but still a solid 10 hr day of back and forth. Looking back at it now it was very selfish on my part. A lot of my childhood was. I imagine that's how Dads feel about all these family vacations. Everyone's whining and he's just like, hey I guess blowing all this money was totally worth it!

I saw this in my first Cedar Point visit. We were gonna go with a bunch of family, all with different cars and what not. A group met up at someone's house and we heard so and so is also coming. So we get there and checked in and just kinda hanging out by the gate. And that made me upset because... why are we wasting time standing around when we could be doing something? My goal was never "fun" or spending time with family... simply ride as much as I can. I get it though. We didn't live close by at the time and since these people were only a few hours away they likely have been there and done that many times. Some probably had their own passes, so there was no sense or urgency. But to me there was. This was my one shot. If it starts raining I am FUCKED.

It was the year 2000 and Millennium Force was the current hotness. At the time there wasn't that much of an Internet to really know about these things. Today any new coasters people are dissecting piece by piece, rumor, news, etc. It takes a lot of the fun out of things. Here I had no knowledge ahead of time I just saw the monstrosity. Millennium Force was the first of it's kind, a giga (300 foot high) coaster. Even some 20 years later only a handful can lay claim to being a giga and this beast is essentially Cedar Point's mascot and even to this day is ranked amongst the best. It's anyone's game between MF, Steel Vengeance and Fury 325. Having 2 of the top 3 is a pretty big selling point.

But I didn't ride it in this initial Cedar Point trip LMAO. As you can probably guess, the initial year of the coaster in peak summer meant the line was absolutely insane. We didn't ride it right away (or at all...) because even early in the day the line was packed. Dad's idea was we had all day and could come back. I think it was much like a parent telling a kid "maybe for your bday/X-mas" when they pass the toy aisle. They know they're lying, but are trying to spare them. Similar thing here. We could waste a few hours in line knowing it's our one day, or we could see the other stuff and try again later. Maybe to cap off the day.

So we did. And man did it live up the hype. I can't really tell you if in 2000 if it was bigger and better than the other parks I tried, but it sure felt like it. One thing CP has over most others is the coaster lineup. They've had various nicknames regarding being the #1 stop and even in 2000 it felt like we could do things all day and not grow bored. Again our "routine" was different than most I would imagine. Dad did not like riding a ride and then giving in to their kids "let's do it again!" as he wanted to move on to something else.

Cedar Point is different than most parks in that it's on an island essentially. I guess it would be a peninsula. So it's a straight line from entrance to the end. This creates issues with expansions and new rides because there's only so much land. Obviously you can start wherever you want, but it's pretty common to ride the front rides and move your way back. People probably have different ideas and think the back stuff will have less traffic with that mindset. Not today it ain't. But I'm 99% sure that's how we did it.

This visit also marked one of the few times I've ever ridden a stand-up roller coaster. I can see why those are rare and possibly not a thing anymore. People don't really like them and generally it takes a little longer to set up and that's bad because it causes the line to not move as fast. Towards the end of the day we were gonna try MF again, but sadly the line was too insane. We probably could've got a ride on it before closing, but by then family was tired and we had my disabled sister with us and it's not really fair to expect her to wait around (she can't ride much if anything) as we had fun, so alas we left the park without riding it. I was very disappointed.

We moved to Florida and in 6 or so years only went to an amusement park once in that time. It was a 2-day trip to Disney/Universal. Might touch on that later, but it seemed like our theme park days were sorta behind us. Maybe the kids were just teenagers and didn't wanna hang out with the parents and spending all day in the heat was doing a number on my sister so it was less of a thing. But my Dad was about to move to his final base in Ohio, strategically placed where he's close to both his sister and my Mom's family... but far enough where they can't visit often. So it was 2010 and he just bought a house and so we were gonna go to Cedar Point again, in what felt like a retirement tour for amusement park visits for us.

One thing I realized on this second trip was that I can be talked into anything based on insulting my manliness. Oh you're probably too scared go on it... just bring it bitch! I saw this firsthand when the newish (it was a few years old by now but wasn't there last time) Top Thrill Dragster taunting us from the sky. TTD is actually considered a strata coaster since it breaks 400 feet. Unlike MF though it's not a true coaster really since it's basically a gimmicky one. Instead of a full ride it's as the name implies... a race car being shot up into a giant hill and back. The ride once the light turns green is mere seconds, but I'm sure most will agree it's worth it. The scariest part about the ride is the wait because it feels like forever from seating to launch.

The anticipation is everything. The countdown... screeching... the view... oh man. And if you're lucky sometimes the launch isn't enough to get you over the hill and you come backwards down the track. And they relaunch you to do it right. So you basically get a free ride, as rarely as that happens. I'm sure people would pay for that to happen honestly. Never happened to me on the handful of rides I've had on it.

Now onto MF. When we decided to go again it was my MISSION to ride it. It's a decade old, but still popular even to this day. It's part of the main event lineup, alongside TTD Maverick and Steel Vengeance. Like those 4 alone and nothing else makes it a GOAT park to most people. We got to ride it several times. It was amazing and it'll be a sad day when it goes, as most coasters do eventually get shelved or in SV's case remodeled from an older ride.

I don't remember if it was this trip or the 2000 one where I rode a sky coaster, which is one of those pay rides where you set up a time to ride it. There's two that I know of, this one that's sort of a bungee swing and the other variety I've seen where you're basically a ball being launched into the air like a rubberband would. I'm betting 2000 because we got a video of it on VHS as a souvenir. It's actually kind of insane because unlike a coaster if that rope snaps you are not gonna leave a great review on Yelp...

For the most part both trips kinda feel like 1A/1B to me. I often mix up things that happened on either day. Only thing I can say for sure is the initial visit lacked the MF ride. I have good memories of visiting and it certainly lived up to the hype that my Dad built up. And that hype was pure nostalgia for Dad as he hadn't been since he was a kid.

Cedar f'n Point!

Slim Pickings on Gifs

As much as I enjoy going to amusement parks, I really haven't gone that often. Not including a trip or two to Disney I have probably only been to one a dozen or so times. And it was always with parents. In middle school we obviously didn't have a means of going on our own and well once cars were a factor... things changed. I had less friendships and of course money too. My family was never one to go more than once a season and even then not even every season. We were never a season pass family. Plus if it's just me being a mark about it I also didn't have anyone to go with. And going to ride a roller coaster alone is about as lame as you can get, right?

I've come a long way into embracing doing things alone as I soon discovered if I didn't I would simply miss out. Over the years I've even learned there are segments of the population that won't even go to the movies by themselves. So I had a friend at my last job and he suggested we both get season passes to our nearest one, Kings Island. Despite living in Ohio for several years at this point I never went. Mostly because I had no one to go with, but with this idea of having a partner I was ready. It never happened though. I've touched on this scenario in the love stories chapter. He got fired and we lost touch, but not before he helped me lose my virginity. Thanks bro!

So eventually I left that job, joined the Post Office and then moved out. I chose a random area that was closer to my work office than my parent's house and it just so happened that this apartment was close to Kings Island. And when I mean close I mean I can literally see parts of it from my balcony. Like this balcony can see the apartment's pool but also the big stuff from the park. It's a really good view. After moving here I made it my mission to visit the park the following summer. No matter what. So I got a season pass and upgraded it to platinum pass. Platinum grants you unlimited access to ALL Cedar Fair parks, which includes things like CP and KD! I had this idea I was gonna go every weekend bouncing between the two (KI & CP).

As I was doing my research I discovered they also had a money maker called Fastlane. Fastlane is essentially a line skipper surcharge to skip the lines and get on right away. The downside is you can't pick your seat unless you're the type to request "fresh fries" you generally get what seats are available. But that's how it would work waiting in line anyway. Internally I was debating on seeing how the lines fare in a season and then next year do the Fastlane. Instead I said fuck it and just spent the money on it. A season-long Fastlane isn't cheap and was an extra 500! Was it worth it? I'll say this, if you're traveling to one of these parks and only have a day... yes it is. But if you've got a group or a family to pay for... it can get pricey since each pass is only for an individual. I think it comes down to basically an extra ticket for a daily one.

The math on the Fastlane is debatable, but a regular season pass is certainly worth it if you plan to go 3 or more times. The price is usually about 100, which is just a tad over 2 tickets. Great thing about season passes is early entry. Depending on the time of year they open the doors 30 minutes to an hour early for pass holders to ride certain rides. It's only a few and you basically have time to do a few rides before the general public gets inside.

My first ever solo trip only lasted 3-4 hours. Was weird because all my past visits with family felt like they took all day and that was only riding things once. I guess on your own there's no one holding you back. No needed breaks. No waiting for others. You just do what you want. And that became a habit, which made the Fastlane somewhat pointless. The lines really aren't too bad until the mid-afternoon. Now once you get to the prime time summer months anything after noon is probably necessary. Then I realized the purpose it can serve. If you have an all-season long Fastlane you can use it as needed. Lines get long, fuck it go grab one. If not, no big deal. Also with a season pass you can come and go as you please. You don't need to make a full day of it. I never did, and made a habit of going several Sundays in a row. I eventually developed a routine of which rides I liked most and which order.

I last went to Cedar Point in 2010 and in 2019 it was nearing a decade again since my last trip. And man... the first ride I managed at Kings Island I was shaking like crazy. It was just a family ride but for some reason that first ride really felt different. Afterwards they were nothing, but that anticipation was intense. I had no friends with me and no family either, so it felt different. I might rank all the Kings Island rides in a later post, but it became clear this was my future. In 2019 according to the app I went to KI a total of 14 times between opening day and Labor Day. That seems like a lot when you factor in I was starting to have a whole decade in between visits but also seems small since I am so close to the park.

And during this time I started diving deeper into coaster culture and seeing message boards! And my 14 visits were nothing compared to some. Keep in mind my OCD self insisted on only going on Sundays because I was working a lot of Saturdays at the time. I simply had to go for early entry. Why? No clue since I had a season pass AND Fastlane access but that's how it worked. Part of it I think stems from me needing to park in a certain spot because one trip despite marking it on the app and parking in the usual section... I couldn't find my car. So that was nearly every week in the summer. I was treating going to Kings Island like some people treat going to church. I had discovered Jesus and his name was Bolliger & Mabillard.

Kings Island Coaster Countdown Part I

Rather than talk about my return visits to Cedar Point I'm gonna countdown my favorite Kings Island coasters. Obviously after we talk about the Cedar Point visits I'll count down those rides as well. I'll include POV clips of the rides as well seeing as both Google and DDG aren't even trying to pretend they wanna give me relevant gifs for this current crop of stories. Obviously I won't be including any kiddie rides because evidently they frown on single guys riding them by themselves. I was just trying to put them over. And obviously I can't rank the newest ride Orion since I've never ridden it, but I'm sure it'll rank high regardless. Besides it's getting it's own post later on.

11. Adventure Express

Open: 1991
Max Height: 63'
Max Speed: 35 mph

Adventure Express is a mine cart ride and unlike say the runaway ones in Donkey Kong Country you're not gonna find too many thrills here. It's a family ride that isn't too intense and in all honesty is more of a glorified out and back tour of some of the park rather than a legitimate roller coaster. Still it's a nice first stop between going from the kiddie rides until you get to some of the big boy coasters. At the very least it has some stuff that none of that other rides have and that's some slight animatronics in the final tunnel. If you go in expecting something like Escape from Pompei from Busch Gardens you're gonna be disappointed. This ride is also in a spot where it's easily passed by park goers on their way to the busier sections of the park. Still it's worth at least one ride a season from me. Last time I rode it I was the only one on the train...

10. The Racer

Open: 1972
Max Height: 88' (82' Drop)
Max Speed: 53 mph

I don't like the Racer. Not really. It gets ranked above Adventure Express simply because there can be some fun to it. It's part of the two rides that put Kings Island on the map though. Opened with the park, so it's the current headliner as far as tenure is concerned. You may have also seen it thanks to the Kings Island Brady Bunch episode. My issues with the Racer is that it being an older wooden coaster it tends to be really rough. According to enthusiasts there are "magic seats" on these types of rides, but I've just never cared enough to test them out. It's one of those rides I try and force myself to like, but I just can't so I tend to ride it less and less. Maybe give it a token try every few visits. However, I think the fun factor for this ride is moreso when you're attending the park with a group and you get to enjoy the "racing" element of two separate trains riding at the same time. Sadly during the early afternoon when I usually go they only have one going due to not enough riders currently. That could play a factor.

09. The Beast

Open: 1979
Max Height: 110' (141' Drop)
Max Speed: 64 mph

The Beast is the other famous coaster. In fact if you've ever seen those 10-second Youtube clips of rock artists screaming on a drop on a coaster... it's the Beast. The Beast is famous for being (at the time anyway) the tallest, fastest and longest wooden coaster. It was also made by Kings Island instead of an actual manufacturer as you tend to see nowadays. It's one of the oldest rides, but still one of the most popular ones as well. In fact, Fastlane tickets have two tiers and The Beast is part of the premium one. Why they have two I'll never know. If you're gonna pay extra you might as well fork over for the most rides. It is a good ride no doubt, but like Racer is can be a little rough depending on your seat. I've taken a liking to the 2nd to last spot. It's still intense of a ride, but it doesn't feel like it beats me up as much. I won't ride it every visit, but maybe every other. The train ALWAYS surprises me for how long it is when I'm waiting in line too. It just keeps coming. Now I haven't experienced it myself, but I have heard big things about night rides on the Beast. Again, I tend to go early in the day and move on so that's on the bucket list. It's probably the same level as fresh Krispy Kremes. On their own they're okay, but during the special time it's another level.

08. Vortex

Open: 1987 (Closed 2019)
Max Height: 148' (138' Drop)
Max Speed: 55 mph

Vortex was closed recently and done so sorta quietly. All the hype around the time was on the newest coaster they were building and towards the end of the season they announced it would be shut down. A lot of outcry from fans, but it wasn't without reason. It's an older ride from a now defunct company, so parts are expensive. And it's not as popular as it used to be. Not only that, but it's claim to fame (loops and inversions) are done much better on Banshee and Invertigo. It has a decent sized plot of land that could be used for another new ride to bring in guests. The only saving grace I think it had was it looked great from photos to the side, much like Cedar Point's Corkscrew for the same reasons. My first visit to the park this was one of my favorite rides. But it started to feel rough the more I rode it, so I stopped. By time it was announced I had planned to give it one final ride, but never got around to doing it. Lots of discussions on what is taking it's place, but that's several years away. When it was active it was probably the most underrated ride at the park.

07. Invertigo

Open: 1999 (originally Face/Off)
Max Height: 131'
Max Speed: 50 mph

I really like Invertigo, which is not a common phrase among coaster enthusiasts. It does have issues since it only has one train so sometimes the line moves slowly. The ride is very unique as not counting the first and last row, you're actually seated inwards facing the next row (hence the themeing of Face/Off back during the Paramount days) so it can be slightly awkward as you wait for the ride. The ride reverses and lets you hang there (the front row is especially tense here... what if the straps come off?) and then it launches you through several loops until going back in reverse so you get to experience it front and back. This and The Bat are generally seen as the next rides to get the ax (even before Vortex did!) but I just don't know if they plan to do it with this one. It's a tightly packed coaster so taking it down isn't gonna lead to new space to use for a fresh ride unless they do some serious revamping such as removing Congo Falls and possibly even sliding over the Drop Tower. But hey I'm not in charge of these things. I try to ride it when I can, sometimes on my way out of the park since it's slightly near the entrance.

06. Backlot Stunt Coaster

Open: 2005
Max Height: 45'
Max Speed: 40 mph

This was the ride I mentioned when I said I was nervous going on my first coaster solo. This is a family coaster that has some decent intensity to it. Much like Invertigo it gets a lot of hate from coaster smarks and I don't understand why. It sits on a small plot of land, so it's not like it's taking up giant space that could be used for something else. It's short and to the point. I like it a lot. Maybe the hate comes from the fact that it's a clone coaster that was mass produced for several parks? I mean I'm gonna ride it 100x more often than Adventure Express. I'd get rid of that one in a heartbeat before this ride. I mean, how can you hate a ride that has fire effects and a slight bunny hill that goes underneath people waiting in line?

So that's the midcarders. Time for the actual stars.

Kings Island Coaster Countdown Part II

Kings Island does not have a killer ride in my opinion. It's a great park and I'm glad it's real close, but it isn't really a destination park like Cedar Point or even Carrowinds. I wanted to make a road trip to Carrowinds and KD for my next summer, but then Corona-chan hit and it was like fuck. Cedar Point has several rides that will draw in crowds, but to me Kings Island is the draw. But this it's time for the cream of the crop rides that is does have to offer. Here are the five.

05. Flight of Fear

Open: 1996 (originally Outer Limits: Flight of Fear)

Max Height: 74'
Max Speed: 54 mph

Flight of Fear is an indoor coaster with the lights off. Not unique as Cedar Point had one called Disaster Transport and even Kings Dominion has their own FOF. I don't know if they are clones of each other or just similar concept. I found this ride to be slightly unpopular whenever I'd ride it at KI. It still had a line in a way, but compared to the rest it was very dead. I imagine it gets a bump during the hot summer months and no doubt it's getting new interest thanks to Orion. For the most part you can ride it pretty quickly during my early afternoon trips, which is good because a normal queue can take a while. I do wonder if it would be just as fun if they did rides with the lights on. I think that's what makes a top contender in Cedar Point's eventual countdown because that coaster looks like what I imagine this one does when the lights are on. My only gripe is the fast pass is one of those bogus ones that only takes you halfway. Pointless if the line isn't out the door. And when researching the stats it seems both this and KD one opened on the same day. Yeah no way they aren't clones. This ride for sure has a theme to it with aliens and UFOs and that's probably something you can't truly appreciate with a line skipping option. I think the reason the fast lane is weird is those lines are usually at the exit and with FOF you leave the train before you get to the line to create the illusion of you disappearing.

04. The Bat

Open: 1993 (originally Top Gun)
Max Height: 78' (70' drop)
Max Speed: 51 mph

The Bat has a strange history at the park. It's not even the original The Bat. Originally named Top Gun after losing the licenses in the Paramount Deal they chose to go with a defunct coaster's name rather than come up with something new. The Bat is also the usual guess on which coaster will get the ax, even before Vortex! It's easy to see why... created by Arrow, so parts are hard to come by. And it's an older coaster. Not the oldest in the park, but suspended coasters are outdated once we got inverted ones that do everything they can do and more. And the most important reason is the location. See The Bat is located in the most active part of the park... kinda. I dunno if they had stuff located there before but The Bat is pretty hidden. You have to take a light jog from most of the nearby rides to get to it. And not only that, no fast pass! Like at all. It's one of the few rides that EVERYONE'S gotta wait in line. Like at first I thought I was just dumb and didn't know where the line was. I love this ride. It's fast and has decent intensity, but here's the thing... it really is fast. Like the ride is short, which makes waiting in line AND the jog there and back really hard to stomach. Still gonna be a sad day when they do replace it.

03. Mystic Timbers

Open: 2017
Max Height: 109' (98' drop)
Max Speed: 53 mph

The top three will likely always be the top three (pending Orion) if you ask anyone to rank the park's coasters. Some might shuffle the order, but I don't think any ride is really gonna find it's way as a new challenger unless you really like The Beast and have childhood memories.

Mystic Timbers is a ride I did not like at first, but eventually grew on me. There was a big marketing push on "the shed", which is the end sequence of the ride. They made it seem like a really scary finale, but ended up just being a green screen of something coming to getcha. I suppose that would be fine if they didn't hype up the shed before it opened. I imagine people were imagining something like the T-Rex animatronic at Universal Studios. I thought the ride was fine but the shed was a waste of time. And then one time riding it the shed was "down" so rather than a slow crawl as stuff happens... it brought us right to the station. And I was disappointed. I got what I wanted and realized the shed is part of the appeal. Mystic Timbers is hopefully a new trend for the park in themeing. So often rides are just rides, but this one has a full story and I'd say the line actually adds to the appeal. Not that I'll ever likely know with fast pass. Despite only having an average top speed comparable to many rides listed... it feels so much faster. Literally feels like a runaway mine cart ride.

02. Banshee

Open: 2014
Max Height: 167' (150' drop)
Max Speed: 68 mph

Banshee is an inverted coaster (ski lift) and honestly feels like it may be 1B to the actual #1. The problem with Banshee is it's at the front of the park near some cool stuff (Invertigo, Bat and two great flat rides: Drop Tower and Delirium) so it generally is one of the first things I'll ride and it feels less special if I do all of them in succession. Unlike say things that are further away that have some anticipation and build as I make my way there. Still Banshee is a ride I think I only ever missed out on for one trip due to maintenance, so it's very reliable and well it's pretty new by coaster standards so you'd hope so.

01. Diamondback

Open: 2009
Max Height: 230' (215' drop)
Max Speed: 80 mph

Diamondback is probably my favorite coaster in the park. It has weird seating in it too. Instead of 4 in a row like Banshee they have staggered seating, so each row goes from:

[][X][X][]
[X][][][X]

If that makes sense. It is kind of great where the second row can act as "front" seating in a way. So you get the same view/wind in your face experience without needing to wait extra in line. Like most hypercoasters it's mainly about speed and hills, so no real inversions or anything. I like the restraint as they resemble snake heads as the whole thing is themed after that. One thing that sets it apart from other hypers is the splashdown finale. The final stretch has an amazing visual of water flying behind it as it slides through the finish. I don't believe the water actually soaks any spectators and it certain doesn't get the riders wet unless you extent your arms out on the even rows, and then it's just a light misting. The splashdown is more of a visual thing for people off-ride.

The new coaster Orion looks to just be a bigger, badder version of Diamondback. It's taller, but seems to offer the same sort of ride experience. It's even from the same company, so it resembles it a lot as well. I'm sure once I ride it those two will duke it out for the top spot but for now Diamondback holds the crown. The only major drawback for me is once the ride is over, the final bit of track going back to the station seems to take a while so you end up sitting there unless the ride operators are really getting trains out.

Debating on doing more chapters talking about not seeing a lot of rated r stuff growing up and how my parents hated Beavis and Butt-head and how I felt like I was breaking the law by watching it at a friend's house.

Mar 16, 2021 22:01:44 GMT @ness said:

Debating on doing more chapters talking about not seeing a lot of rated r stuff growing up and how my parents hated Beavis and Butt-head and how I felt like I was breaking the law by watching it at a friend's house.

Yes, man you just gotta do SOMETHING

You're Never Born a Wrestling Fan

The interesting thing about PW is that it was first and foremost a wrestling website. It's in the name, but over time that was less of a thing for the forum. Most people are wrestling fans and sure some got invited based on the community we developed, but unless you were a fan the odds of you sticking around are slim. I know that's what drew me to PW originally. I've made a few threads about being a wrestling fan, but never touched up on things too deeply. Most posters have their boys and honestly there's a good chunk of users who I could define as a fan of X worker. I don't think you can say that about me. Sometimes I feel like my wrestling knowledge throws people off a little bit. So this next set of stories is going to be about my rise and fall as a wrestling fan. Maybe I can shed some light on who my "boys" are and see if anyone can relate.

I wish I could say I had memories of watching old wrestling with my Dad... or for some reason my grandma? A lot of fan backstories seem to involve granny marks. I was born in 84 so in theory I could've seen all the Manias "live" minus the the first one. Similar to how my Dad could say the same thing about the Super Bowl. I have no idea if my Dad was a wrestling fan as we certainly didn't watch it. I didn't even know wrestling was a thing. Well, I take that back... that's as far as I knew it. I was aware it existed in the same way I know about romance novels. I just scoffed at it and then moved on with my life.

My interests as a young Ness were not that far removed from what they are today... I liked video games and cartoons. The only time wrestling crossed over in my narrow view of interests was that one Ren and Stimpy episode where they shat all over kayfabe. I have vague recollection of Stimpy doing a curtain call and saying the dastardly heel was his friend. I actually haven't seen it since I got into wrestling and you bet your ass I'm gonna revisit it. Knowing my luck no Youtube clip will exist though.

Despite being an avid gamer (and my interest has waned over the years) I didn't have any interest in wrestling games until I became an actual fan. So none of the big ones like Wrestlemania Arcade, PRO WRESTLING or Muscle were a part of my childhood. To be honest I have always had a narrow view of things when left to my own devices. I don't branch out too often. I can't tell you how many times I rented Ultimate MK3 when I shoulda tried something new.

I had a younger uncle who was pretty close to me and my brother. He was only 9 years older than me, so he was probably more like a brother than an uncle. The definition of cool uncle for sure. He ended up giving me a lot of his old stuff, which included those 80s rubber unposable wrestling figures. If you know, you know. Even came with a ring. I had this weird habit of stealing one of my sister's barbies and then had her "flash" the competitors and tell them the winner gets "this". I don't think I even knew exactly what sex was, but I knew it sold well. Certainly more than any 10 lbs of gold will.

So yeah like I said I never really watched wrestling in any capacity. Sure I might recognize a "few" stars thanks to guest appearances on shows and the big names that transcended the sport, but I might as well have been completely clueless to the genre. That of course was slowly starting to change. Hate to say it, but I'm one of those Attitude Era Fags. I got on when it was HAWT and even though I clung to wrestling a long time after most water cooler marks had left... can't deny that I joined because of the normie crazy. Right place right time in a lot of ways. We'll discuss discovering it next and how it changed a dynamic of my middle schools days.

May 8, 2021 15:42:16 GMT @ness said:

 Most posters have their boys and honestly there's a good chunk of users who I could define as a fan of X worker. I don't think you can say that about me. Sometimes I feel like my wrestling knowledge throws people off a little bit. So this next set of stories is going to be about my rise and fall as a wrestling fan. Maybe I can shed some light on who my "boys" are and see if anyone can relate.

Good point. Austin is definitely one of your boys and Molly Holly is one of your girls. Then I'm guessing some Chikara wrestlers? No idea which ones though.

May 10, 2021 13:21:03 GMT jTjohncenaGOAT said:

Ness and I are the same age. Weird.

Figured him to be 10 years younger than me.

Sounds like an accurate differential based on the effect of kids and several deployments, right?

May 10, 2021 14:08:19 GMT jTjohncenaGOAT said:

May 10, 2021 14:05:53 GMT 🤯 said:

Sounds like an accurate differential based on the effect of kids and several deployments, right?

I guess. But he works in a post office and I’ve only ever seen old people working in a post office so.. there’s that also.

Newman never seemed all that old though.

So maybe @ness is just like a real life Newman?

Also, my dad —who is turning 76 and looks about 15 years younger than he is— has always said one of the secrets to seeming young is to act immaturely. Which probably explains a LOT of his comments and actions, and probably also explains my immaturity.

Either it's my lack of "adult milestones" like kids, buying a house, etc. OR my personality simply peaked around when I first joined PW 15 years back.

Well, It Is Pretty Gay

So I wish I could point to a segment, match or anyone really that got me into wrestling. I have a moment that cemented me as a wrestling fan, but it wasn't a random channel changer moment that drew me in. Something was seriously pulling me in around late 98. Can't even blame a friend getting me into it because no one I talked to at the time was into wrestling. In middle school I had a new best friend each year due to changing classes. I didn't meet a fellow wrestling fan until I was already into it. I have vague memories of hearing about wrestling from other people, but nobody ever recommended it. I must've seen t-shirts and I guess hearing about it from third parties was enough to get me to check it out.

Leading up to Summerslam I would harass my Dad for $30, which was the price of the PPVs at the time. For whatever reason I couldn't just come out and say I wanna watch this wrestling show. Years prior he and our neighbor (Ian Malcolm doppelganger) used to watch UFC events, so PPVs weren't out of the question. He shot me down every time. Maybe if I had given him a REASON he might have gotten on board. I don't believe I was even a consistent viewer, but I was finally #allin with an episode of Raw a while after Summerslam. It was the "Bang 3:16" episode of Raw where Vince wet himself when Austin had him at gunpoint.

From that point on I was hooked. I'm not sure who gets credit (Russo or was he gone by then?) but the build and constant focus on a singular event kept me tuned in. I wanted more. I needed more. Dad surprised me by telling me he was ordering Survivor Series. Little did I know that the family was also getting into wrestling. All things I had ever gotten into were just a me thing, but slowly wrestling was becoming a family thing. Both my parents and my brother were getting into it big time too. So much so that watching Raw and PPVs became the thing we did. He kept ordering the PPVs too. It was never something we asked, it just happened. So much so that it was default and expected. From Survivor Series 98 to Mania X8 he ordered every mainline PPV with the exception of Judgment Day 01 since we were in the middle of a move at the time.

In 8th grade I made a new best friend named Josh and he was into wrestling much like I was. Something my former best friend Chance hated with a passion and thought it was gay. I was so obsessed with wrestling that I would end any hanging out with Chance to go watch things like Sunday Night Heat! It's amazing Chance and I ever connected since he hated wrestling, wasn't a fan of roller coasters and was a Nintendo fan after I had moved onto Playstation. I suppose with slim pickings for either of us, we were just the closest kids in age on base housing that we just became friends by default.

Over time my parents became less interested and really only paid attention to the main event stuff. Like you're just not gonna get my mom invested in Billy Gunn turning on Road Dogg, you're just not. A lot of times it felt like my Dad was a fan in general, but didn't need to digest every segment like I did. Or maybe he didn't care for wrestling, but saw what enjoyment his sons got out of it and just indulged us. Come X8 he was done. I think without warning he just told us that was it for him as far as ordering PPVs. Maybe he was over it. Maybe he saw my Mom and brother weren't as into it. Either way minus 1-2x years later that would be the final PPV we watched together.

We were a WWF/E only family. Just never gave WCW a chance. I'd try and honestly something about the ring and ropes just didn't connect with me compared to the E. So there was no channel changing between Nitro and Raw for us. I think my Dad may have liked some people from WCW as he seemed like a big Goldberg fan, but that may have been his hatred for Austin. We loved him, but my Dad did not and always made it a point to make fun of him. He mocked his ring pose as a dumb monkey holding his arms up and I have never seen someone so happy when HHH fell on top of him in the 3 Stages of Hell match.

So from late 98 to Mania 02 we were seriously into wrestling. Since then I'm pretty much the only one who is even remotely aware of anything. Every once in a while I'd hear it in the background on the TV when I still lived at home, but they moved on a long time ago. I should probably make an outline or bullet points because I'm going all over the place. I have quite a few posts planned for wrestling talk, so I'll probably do that next. Perhaps I'll discuss those first few years getting into wrestling and other than Austin who caught my eyes.

99 Got Problems But Lack of Interest Ain't One

So more or less I became a fan right when they were doing this babyface push of Rock, teasing he was being screwed by the boss. Of course that ended up being a complete swerve going by my first PPV. Problem with that booking is as a newbie I had zero clue what was going on. All I really knew at that point was Austin was cool and Vince was a dick. In all honesty Shane's double cross (1 2 middle finger) stuck with me as a fan much more than the coronation of the Rock. Without knowledge of Bret it simply didn't make much sense to me. Of course some 20 odd years later if anyone that isn't "them" puts someone in the sharpshooter we all know what's happening.

My first PPV... and honestly, I was disappointed. Not in the action, though Attitude Era PPV with 30 matches probably was mostly shit, but the fact that it cost $30 I was expecting so much more than what it ended up being. Oh this is just a wrestling show. I suppose with a price tag I was expecting it to be some amazing experience. It was just... what you expect. Also a bit of a Ness moment, I honestly thought the champ HAD to defend it in a tournament for Survivor Series. Didn't understand the title was vacant at the time. So yeah I had penciled in my head that winning the title after Summerslam is dumb because you got a difficult defense coming up. And you really don't see tournaments like that in the E anymore. Even once I became a fan they started branching away from having KOTR over 1-night, which honestly made it feel less important.

1999 was my first official year. Going by history it was really shitty. Probably one of the most forgettable Manias up to that point. So much so that I honestly didn't even get the appeal. To me it was just *another* show and WM15 kinda cemented that. I don't think my mind really changed until a few years later. I recall WM15 was $35, so it was barely more expensive than a regular PPV which didn't help. Even though my Dad had started ordering them all I was discussing the shows with my friend Josh and he was full on Mania or Bust mode. Told me to skip Valentine's Day Massacre. Guess he was under the impression it was one or the other. I dunno man, Austin/McMahon in a cage seems more like a "Mania Moment" than whatever was actually on it. Like they still use the bump and Show's debut in highlight reels. Does anything happen @ 15 besides the HHH heel turn?

In fact, that (the cage match) was probably my first "mark out" moment. I remember it being the post-Rumble build-up to this show and it was revealed that if the winner of the Rumble does not challenge it goes to the NUMBER TWO! I was so excited for either him getting a bitch title match that way or simply facing Vince. I dunno which resulted in my marking out loud like that.

It's hard to say who I became of fan of from so long ago, especially since I don't have fond memories of 99. But obviously Jericho was a big one. Being that I didn't watch WCW I had zero clue who he was. The promo he debuted with is amazing to me now, but as a fan I thought he was a complete goober. Who is this jabroni thinking he can interrupt the Rock? Didn't help matters that after that he kinda floundered for a while. To this day it still bugs me that his program with Shamrock just ended randomly. Like for YEARS after I was expecting him to return and he never did. I absolutely loved him using the triple powerbomb. Was that more of a cruiser move because it didn't last long. Fake as fuck though the way his opponent assisted him.

I like the Outlaws. Road Dogg for the entrance in-ring stuff and believe it or not even up until his 2002 weirdness, I was a big fan of Billy Gunn. I actually wanted him up the card. Probably didn't help that I started talking to a "girl" on AIM that was a big fan of his. Her username was MrsAss. It may have been a dude in all honesty. For the most part I liked everyone I was supposed to. Cheered the good guys and booed the heels. Thing that always struck me as weird is how everyone is so eager to point out the fakeness of wrestling. Watching it never factors in. Like I *know* it's not real, but I never think about it that deeply. Around this time wrestling started (or already was) becoming "water cooler" and lots of people talked about. I recall a field trip and this teacher was convinced that UFC was just as fake. And for whatever reason I bought into that and started saying it regularly, even criticizing real sports of being rigged.

2000 was a much better year and this was where a good chunk of my wrestling knowledge came from. See they had a a special in addition to Mania 2000 (16) there was a bonus called Wrestlemania All Day Long. Extra charge, but basically from like noon up to the event they had a documentary style look back at Manias up to that point. WM13 when Bret beat Austin, Dad marked out. He really didn't like the dude. I had fond memories of this and despite the match being as the business says "the drizzling shits" the WWE guys are just amazing at putting together montages so anytime I hear Bittersweet Symphony I think of Austin/HBK from 14. Obviously since then they've embraced actual documentary and talking head programs, but for the time this was special.

And like 99 the actual Mania sucked. Lotta tag matches surprisingly. Maybe that's why the tag division seemed relevant? Only thing I remember is the Vince screwjob really. It's easy to see why the "showcase of the immortals" didn't mean much to me until later on. By 2000 I felt like I was "wise" to the business. I liked heels and hated some faces. I was starting to get more interested in the actual wrestling aspect as opposed to the personalities. So with guys like the Radicalz and the tag division, yeah I was moving towards ring work rather than the main event scene. Enter Kurt Angle, who managed to bridge the gap between fun personality and entertaining in the ring. I think my Dad was a big fan of his too. There's a really big difference between dorky Kurt and post-head shave ded srs Kurt, even if he could be comical occasionally when he was focused.

Kurt really doesn't get the love he deserves IMO. I think people get mad at him for hanging on for so long and being guilty of repeating his two greatest performances (No Way Out 2006 vs. Taker and Royal Rumble 2003 vs. Benoit) depending on the size of his opponent. Forced epics and all that. I get the dislike of his end career, but once people started shitting on HBK/Kurt from Mania despite it being LOVED by all at the time... I just kinda accepted it just a thing. So yeah after Austin if I had to describe my "boys" it would be just the tag division in general, Jericho, Kurt and because I was in middle school I loved Jerry Lawler's commentary. My Dad pointed out to me around the time they started using Cole that all the good guys are geeks, dweebs and dorks while the bad guys are usually a lot cooler. May have doctored part of the conversation.

Wow all that for one bullet point. Might have to trim it down a bit or just go full on Tarantino indulgence. As far as next I might tackle live events, merch and talk about 2001 and the transition from coolness. We'll see.

Just chiming into say I am loving this series. I popped for your Jericho hate, Angle love, and belief in Billy Gunn. You weren't alone in thinking "real sports" were rigged either. For example, my friend Matt The IRS Fan was convinced the NBA was worked.

If the NBA isn't worked, then how do you explain the Harlem Globetrotters? -_-

ECW Top 10 Theme Song?

Let's touch on EC Dub. While my presence in the IWC was minimal, I was still aware of them. There was an energy surrounding them. TNA was on Spike forever, which feels like a bigger deal than ECW at the time. And yet you always run into people that have no clue it was a thing. But people knew ECW. Obviously there's the element of WWE promoting them and the time of name dropping for smark shoot promos. I knew of ECW and it was in that "weird rumor" sorta way. Kinda like how the fake "Nudality" in Mortal Kombat was a thing. Something I greatly miss about the wild west early days of Internet. We just lied to people about random shit and they never called us out on it in that "totally have a girlfriend in Canada" way. Without internet streaming or even DVD sales I didn't really know too much about ECW in all honesty. Sorta like New Japan of today. They're doing their thing and as a wrestling fan there's a certain level of respect there, but it mostly goes under the radar minus moments here and there that breach my bubble.

I did attend one house show in the dying days of the company. Either at the tail end of 2000 or early 2001 before the doors official closed down. Ya know how restaurants will close randomly with the manager leaving a note on the door as employees show up for shifts? That had to have been the Heyman way. Anyways living in Florida at the time and I wasn't too familiar with everyone. I thought RVD was honestly an HBK wannabe. Just the look with the pony tail. I loved his theme though. One thing that really separated it from the E was the music. They just used real bands, copyrights be damned. My Dad hyped up Sandman as the second coming. He told me you'll know when he's coming. The place came unglued. I *think* he was in a tag match with some local indy guy against Justin Credible and Rhyno as both World and US Champs. At first I thought they were the champs since a glance from the crowd had the belts looking samey.

Rhino corrected my assumptions when he cut a promo either before or after the match degrading being TV champ for a company without TV. It was very different than I expected. Despite it being the "era" I didn't expect to hear "show your tits" chants. It was directed at Dawn Marie I believe, but luckily for us Sandman showed us his. Fans went home happy with plunder and Enter Sandman closing. I was really invested now... too bad it was dead. One thing I have to sadly admit is I have hardly been to any wrestling shows, despite being a fan for so long. I just never cared too much about seeing it live. I was a TV fan and that was good enough for me. In that sorta way I am super introverted in just not wanting to be around people.

I've attended three WWE shows in total since then in my whole life. In 2002 I went to a Smackdown House Show with my Dad and brother. It was when Taker was champ (though he wasn't there) and Kurt was either just starting or in the middle of his wig wearing gimmick to hide his bald head. I was an annoying ass during the whole show, just trying to chant things and cheer all the heels. Complete with yelling at fans to not boo Kurt since he won the gold medals with a BROKEN FRICKEN NECK. I shoulda got my ass kicked. It was like all the pent up frustration of my youth was let loose for one night.

I also attended two shows about a decade later. First a random MITB PPV in Ohio, whichever Sheamus won. What was weird about it was the culture shock of seeing wrestling shirts. It seemed like via the IWC that Roman was despised and yet I saw a ton of shirts of his. I think this may have also had Paige "win" the title in an early case of Brie stuffing her bra to do the switch. Did a mild markout since I did like Paige and hey, a title change live. Far cry from my obnoxious house show with my Dad and brother. I also attended what was the first non-Florida NXT house show. The Cesaro/Neville main event was featured on an NXT compilation during it's peak. I was in the back so doubtful I made the camera. And that's pretty much it for live shows. The local media does a shit job of advertising it. Then again without cable how would I even know?

That said I have noticed one of my local radio stations are huge wrestling marks. So much of their content used wrestling lingo and they play wrestling themes a lot. For instance they have a weekly lawyer call in segment on Thursday where mouth breathers can ask if they have a case or what not, they play the NWO theme to introduce the lawyer. And a Friday segment where people can call about anything is referred to as Calls Count Anywhere. So yeah they're big marks, which admittedly makes me comfortable listening to them in a way. The main anchor has one of those dead-on Vince impressions.

Let's talk about wrestling shirts for a second. Somewhere over the years they became an embarrassment to me. Like I considered them social suicide, but the truth it not wearing them didn't make me cool anyway. And it's not like people got made fun for it either. I dunno, something in me as wrestling got less popular made it seem like a bad idea. Most wrestling shirts are bad and admittedly I've owned a few in my life. Some of those generics at the store, but also official ones I ordered off Shopzone like a mark. The first half of high school I wore a lot of wrestling/"funny" shirts before getting in trouble. Yes your boy was such a hard-r that he thought he could get away with wearing an Austin Bye Bye Jackass shirt. I even wore the Jericho's Please Shut the Hell Up shirt. I didn't get in trouble for that one, but I was made to turn the Austin one inside out. Such a cringe moment. From then it was only at home.

I admit I really like/liked wrestling music too. The theme songs were always a mp3 staple of my computer time at home. Burning CDs and all that. Had my share of WWF the Music CDs too, including the one with Rock's Pie song. Fun little fact about me and I'm sure a ton of other wrestling stuff from the Attitude Era, I didn't know what "pie" meant. I'm that dumb. It just sounded cool so I started saying it, no clue what it meant until my Dad gave me the side eye when I was talking about "pungtang pie".

I won't lie to you either, having graduated high school in 2003 I was fully engrossed in the numetal scene. That was my jam. And I blame a lot of that on wrestling. Every time a new PPV had an official theme song, I of course grew to love it and downloaded it off whatever p2p software I was using at the time. WWE played a major role in shaping my taste in music. It's probably why I live in such a bubble regarding musical taste. Everything is just butt rock with very little branching out. Every now and then I go on a Youtube deep dive reliving through some of that time period.

Think that's enough for right now. I'm not gonna go year by year, but I will touch on the years that did have a major role in shaping my fandom. I wanna talk about 2001's transition next and maybe discuss women's wrestling and the idea of getting in DIS BUSINESS depending on how long each bullet point ends up being.

May 10, 2021 13:21:03 GMT jTjohncenaGOAT said:

Ness and I are the same age. Weird.

Figured him to be 10 years younger than me.

I don't care what nobody says bro. @ness is still 25 to me.

Raven's Hair Looks Like Ramen Noodles

2001 was a very big year for me as a wrestling fan. The business literally changed overnight. It was that moment at the close of WM17 that killed everything. It was the first drop on a roller coaster. Yes there's twist and turns and some good shit, but you'll never get that high ever again. Same thing here. Austin turned heel and sided with the enemy and there really weren't any other challengers. That always felt more like the killing blow than just goofiness with Vince. Right then and there the wrestling fanbase was cut in half and it's been slowly withering away ever since.

Up until this point wrestling was a family thing. Yes I had a friend that liked it, but since my other one didn't the idea behind wrestling was somewhat shameful. That was until 2001 when I moved a few culdesacs down the road. Still same base housing area just different units. My wrestling hater friend moved away to DC and my other friend had other social priorities rather than hanging out with Ness. Even though we were merely blocks away, we stopped hanging out. Hell we didn't even have the same bus stop anymore!

So my new neighbor was in the same grade, so perfect. He was a huge nerd, but also somewhat in denial about it. He played football and thought that made him a jock and resented the "loser" terms despite being huge into "fantasy" stuff like dragons and shit. He basically looked like every stereotypical neckbeard. No doubt being on a football team even if it's just "big guy blocks" puts him higher on the food chain than me, but they never accepted you so come back to the light your your dweeb friend. I tried so hard to get him into wrestling, but it mostly failed. The closest I ever got to making him a fan was showing him Gangrel's entrance in one of the non-AKI wrestling games. So I think if wrestling was just full on ham like that he may have been on board. 10 years too late I suppose.

After he moved away I got new neighbors, but they didn't have anyone my age. However, the next house over there was a group of brothers and the youngest ones literally would come over every day. We loved wrestling. We loved playing games together. We were inseparable. So much so that it was like clockwork that they were over right after school. I learned that wrestling is so much better when you have others to discuss it. I think that's what has really caused my love for it to die. As it got less popular and less people watched it, it just became lame. Sure the product legitimately sucked at times, but if you had people to chat with about it... it would be more tolerable.

Eventually you just go through the motions. I think my Dad sensed that and for a while other than big shit I was really the only one who consistently "cared" about wrestling. I'd be there for Heat, watch all the matches and more importantly I was essentially the "wrestling guy" in all aspects of my life. My family came to me, people at school came to me, and I had my first real job around this time (Hardees) so I met some guys from school to discuss things. I was the wrestling historian that everyone came to if they wanted info. Hilarious how mad they'd get if I don't know the answer. What happened to Tajiri. I dunno? They probably just used me since I recorded PPVs and let them watch them, but I did that to a kid in middle school to watch South Park (Comedy Central was satellite only where I lived) so it was the circle of life.

I was obsessed with wrestling from 99-01. When Dad cut us off PPV wise after Rock/Hogan I still somewhat followed it. It started with just the regular shows and typical IWC deep dives. I didn't go as far as seek out scrambled vision feeds like Josh did, but I still checked out the sites for PPV results. Slowly that was all I did. Just casually follow things without truly watching it until torrents became a thing. I think I got back into it a little more in 2003 thanks to Brock (who's gonna beat this guy?!?) but it was night and day compared to before. If a diehard like me could fizzle out, yeah there's no question why the landscape dropped off a cliff once it wasn't cool anymore.

2001 while I did initially like Austin, once he went "semi-heel" I started gravitating towards others. His stranglehold on the belt made him far less interesting. His matches were fine and he was always the focal point, but I never bought anyone he faced. The stuff with Vince and Kurt was hilarious in the absurdity of it, but he very much felt like he was treading water. Going from the awesome Disturbed theme to whatever his other versions were throughout the year didn't help. It's hilarious looking back at how hard they tried to get him booed. The beating of Lita and picking on Spike Dudley just aren't gonna do it. All the lowly midcarders were finally getting on my radar. Yeah around this time I was much more interested in the likes of Steve Blackman than anything in the main event. And then you had Benoit stuffing Kurt's medals down his pants, yeah that's where my interest lies.

I did really like RVD. Despite thinking he was dumb in ECW I loved what he did in 2001. He really felt like a big deal. I was convinced No Mercy's triple threat with Angle was his moment. So convinced. Other guys never really connected on that level. Benoit I liked, but he got hurt and they were never gonna go with him. By time they gave it to Jericho he was booked awful so it was a complete waste of time. There was just no one to really cheer for. Kurt kept swapping back and forth and I feel like they really dropped the ball by not making him the guy and I feel like if not for 9/11 even that short title run in the fall might not have happened.

Sometime in 2001 the uncle I mentioned came to live with us. I think the fact that we were following it as a family helped revive some of his former love for the business. He must've been a fan since he had a lot of intimate knowledge of things, even if they were on that "different Ultimate Warrior" level. He also thought the XFL had a shot at it too.

Wrestling was still in my blood though. I had these weird reality-based fantasies about getting in the wrestling business. By time 2003 and graduating high school came I had gotten over it, but in 2000 and 01 you could not tell me I wasn't getting in DIS BUSINESS. I wasn't delusional though. I realize I'm a shorter guy with no real athletic background, so I actually never fantasized about boyhood dreams and all that. I wanted to be in the business as like a referee. I could be a ref, right? Take a few bumps, do a simple job and get paid. My Dad had to do some training in San Antonio for work and I told him he needs to get me into the HBK Wrestling Academy. Dad, while you're down there ya gotta get me info!

I dunno if he ever truly looked into it and I might've been too dumb to use the internet for info, so eventually that dream died. Still have no clue how people joined the business before the internet. They probably liked it better, less marks involved... but also less wrestling school scam money too. Like what was my plan? Graduate and then go live in Texas to train? I mean dudes do it obviously, but it's kinda insane seeing as wrestling is essentially the same level as a kid's lemonade stand.

Next time I'll discuss a brief period where I did backyard wrestling with those neighborhood kids that came over everyday and maybe touch up on what I think of women's wrestling.

@ness, I still need to catch up on that last post but first I'm so curious to know if the following would've been your ECW house show experience:

August 12, 2000
Extreme Championship Wrestling
House Show
St. Petersburg, Florida

Psicosis defeats Michael Shane

Chris Chetti & Nova defeat Johnny Swinger & Simon Diamond

Steve Corino defeats Redd Dogg

Jerry Lynn defeats Belvis Wesley

Scotty Anton defeats Kid Kash

Christian York, Joey Matthews & Tommy Dreamer defeat Chris Hamrick, EZ Money & Julio Dinero

The FBI (Guido Maritato & Tony Mamaluke) defeat Mikey Whipwreck & Yoshihiro Tajiri

Rob Van Dam defeats CW Anderson

TAG TEAM DREAM MATCH MAIN EVENT
"Local Hero" Chilly Willy & Sandman defeat The Real World's Champion Justin Credible & No TV Television Champion Rhino

?!?!?!?

It is very possible as the only thing I really remember was the main event (card wise) so that likely was it. Granted they coulda repeated the card for the full Florida loop so it might not have been at that city but that's likely the show I saw.

May 29, 2021 20:25:34 GMT @ness said:

It is very possible as the only thing I really remember was the main event (card wise) so that likely was it. Granted they coulda repeated the card for the full Florida loop so it might not have been at that city but that's likely the show I saw.

That's an entirely unique card in the history of ECW. I assure you Chilly Willy never closed a show tagging against dual champs anywhere else ever again. You witnessed HISTORY OF WRESTLING!

May 29, 2021 23:00:14 GMT 🤯 said:

May 29, 2021 20:25:34 GMT @ness said:

It is very possible as the only thing I really remember was the main event (card wise) so that likely was it. Granted they coulda repeated the card for the full Florida loop so it might not have been at that city but that's likely the show I saw.

That's an entirely unique card in the history of ECW. I assure you Chilly Willy never closed a show tagging against dual champs anywhere else ever again. You witnessed HISTORY OF WRESTLING!

His wiki says "billed from your hometown".

I remember them making a big deal about about him being our hometown boy. I didn't cheer because we didn't live there (and why would I if they did?) and most of the crowd didn't either so I just assumed he was a jobber. It went over because he LIED. This whole time in my Head Canon I've credited him as a local guy and he was working me. I was just too dumb as a kid to know his loyalty was tongue and cheek.

I'm sharing my stuff AND learning at the same time.

No, I Think I Will Try It At Home!

Surely at some point in our lives everyone that enjoyed wrestling at a young age and had friends who felt the same no doubt engaged in backyard wrestling. Now it may not have been jumping off a gym to land an elbow on your idiot friend, but I don't buy anyone who says they didn't at least try a random People's Elbow once in a while.

At the time I sometimes paid attention to commercials during wrestling and one showed us the real deal with backyard wrestling. Like it was this weird VHS series where kids were doing all sorta of weird ECW stuff to each other. Essentially Youtube before Youtube. Light tubes, cheese graders, moves, etc. And the commercial was an instant sell to teenage Ness since Major Gunns was all over it. I think all her scenes in the commercials was the same amount of time as she was in the videos... essentially she was a bait and switch to get horny kids to order the tapes.

So to set the stage, there was me... my brother... the 2 kids that came over every day and that was the core roster. Slim pickings. We had a few "guest stars" but for the most part the four of us were the core. I say that like it was a legit fed. Essentially we just hung out and occasionally did moves and matches. Lemme tell ya, as much as DIS BUSINESS hypes up taking bumps on the mat it can't be half as bad as rolling around in the grass.

We tried our best to make it believable. I won't go as far as to say we put on shows with crowds, but it was still a ded srs endeavor. We had a title belt, ring music and everything. Only thing missing was our dignity. Then it all changed. A little kid moved in next door and he had exactly what we needed... a goddamned trampoline. A trampoline is essentially a ring. And if you have one of those goofy safety nets surrounding it... well that's a steel cage if you ask me!

We needed a "ring" so we did the only sensible thing once we saw the neighbor had a trampoline without a fence... we snuck on it when they weren't home. So arrogant about it that one day I was literally exercising and practicing by myself with a damn boombox. Eventually we befriended the little kid (yes Ness was hanging out with middle schoolers and likely a 2nd grader so what) when he was likely a sophmore and started including him with our matches. He couldn't be trained and mostly got in the way, but at least we were only killing ourselves on a piece of bouncing rubber rather than the dirt and grass.

The partnership ended (kid yelled during a move and the parents asked us to not come over anymore) and I think we soon moved as well. This time we bought our own trampoline, but sadly the move did not include the expanded roster so it was just me and my brother. And since it was just the two of us we could plan more elaborate matches. Problem here is we didn't know what we were doing. Oh bring this old TV box in the ring and SLAM me on it. I'm sure my back won't hit the sharp corners by accident. It was this weird hybrid where we "allowed" moves to be performed, but also was a borderline shoot. I learned a lot about the wrestling business and can only imagine how lucky we were that we never got hurt.

Except that isn't 100% true. See I broke my brother's arm (maybe his wrist) when I powerbombed him. I think he must've tried to break his fall or when he landed his arm must've been underneath the rest of him and CRUNCH. Other than that and considering how often we did stuff, injuries were minimal. Which says a lot factoring in what's to come. For "top rope" moves we usually just jumped high and then tried stuff. Most of the time nothing connected because we were bitches who were afraid of actually getting landed on.

Then I pulled out the ladder. It was mostly symbolic as a "corner" piece. One day I started to get brave and began jumping off the lower steps (ala Bret's corner elbow) and over time decided I wanted to do a top rope elbow drop. Keep in mind the ladder was merely on the outside of the trampoline. Also you're NEVER supposed to be on top. But I did and then jumped off like you would an elbow drop. Problem is when you leap forward on a ladder you are literally kicking it backwards, which means you killed any forward momentum and just drop down. Yep gut first into the blue border of the trampoline. That was nice.

Also I clearly do not have "ring awareness" because I can't count the amount of times I was so focused on doing something like a sharpshooter that I fell right off the damn thing in one of those "like a step I didn't see" moments. Over time my brother moved on and I did the only sensible thing a high schooler can possibly do... and that's wrestling an invisible opponent via my pillow. I think it was the last time in my life I "let loose" publicly. Let out my inner wrestling nerd before retreating into a ded srs in public like I am nowadays.

Not long after this the trampoline started collecting dust. Nobody used it outside the occasional token jump. I think I was lying on it and a spider came crawling near me (backyard near the woods) and that spelled the end of my backyard wrestling days. Dad got orders to move and since we didn't use it, we just gave it to a random neighbor. I assume they wanted it, but one day we just lifted it up and put it in their backyard. If not, probably one of the best cases of someone throwing garbage in your yard.

So that was what I did as a backyarder. Not quite on the level all the indy guys claim they took it to, but a slight touch above anyone who simply suplexed someone onto their bed once time. Clearly someone just rolled their eyes at the Do Not Try This At Home PSA. Then again by time they started really pushing that I had stopped doing it. Then again I'm almost positive they only did those segments because of the kid that supposedly killed someone with a Jackknife. Makes you wonder if the story was legit or just a fairy tail we created to make the movez seem more badass.

Jun 2, 2021 21:10:13 GMT jTjohncenaGOAT said:

We need to move near each other and start a backyard wrestling fed for 30 year olds. Give you $5 to move into the empty house next to me. I have a PS5 you can come over and play with also.

Jake remember our trampoline wrestling in your back yard? And when your brother hit you with an RKO. Wish I still had that on video. :lol:

I was the spot monkey when we did things. Absolutely no psychology and my brother used to get mad at me. He didn't know what selling was, but he certainly knew that I wasn't doing it.

"I JUST HIT YOU WITH MY FINISHER"