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Post by Baker on Nov 15, 2022 3:14:09 GMT
If you've never recorded a wrestling entrance with a tape recorder during the perfect moment with minimal crowd and commentary feedback then you simply don't get it. Like if you've never hunted down wrestling themes that got labeled "11th" and "14th" version that are exactly the same in an effort to find that one part that's different and the best thing ever... you were never one of us. Impressed. As a proud owner of multiple WWF: The Music albums I have to say Ness went even further than I did. BUT did you ever keep rewinding Goldust & Dean Douglas promos until you could recite them word for word? Edit: I did record Goldust’s 1995 Survivor Series entrance on cassette tape. It was my theme when we wrestled in Original Baker’s basement. It also included a promo on Bigelow. Great promo of course, but I think that’s what dissuaded me from recording themes on tape. Too much yammering in the background made it hard to hear the theme. The HHH theory is solid. Was anyone else actually bummed out when he switched from My Time to The Game? I was! For about two weeks. Then I realized The Game ruled even harder than My Time. Ballsy move by WWF to take away what was already an iconic theme, but one that paid off in the long run since The Game would go on to become even more iconic than My Time. With all due respect to Billy Gunn, the only wrestler who can match HHH in the theme game is Jacques Rougeau. You'll never catch me expressing regret over my nu metal phase. Can't say I listen to it much nowadays, but nu metal defined the early 2000s for me. The one time I was with it! Many of the earliest albums I ever owned were nu metal jams. No regrets! This reminds me of my friend Will putting a Parental Advisory sticker over the "iam" on his work badge. Thought it was cringe at the time. Now I recognize it as a legendary move considering I still remember it some 22-23 years later. Funny thing is Will was about the nicest, least controversial person ever. Bryan should have been the one with a Parental Advisory sticker on his work badge! Now there’s a guy who courted controversy… I was too. I've told the story before of how Eminem Show era Eminem was the most over artist of my lifetime and I'll tell it once more... June 2002. Ocean City, MD. Senior Week. Senior Week was a big deal here in the Old Line State. It was a rite of passage for graduating high school students to engage in a week of debauchery at our premier beach resort. By the 2000s it had extended to college kids and basically any 20something (probably some 30somethings, too) who could get away from the rat race for a week. Debauchery was the last thing on my wholesome mind upon graduating high school, so I eschewed Senior Week upon high school graduation, but I did make up for it after embracing the decadence in the years that followed. Anyway... The Eminem Show came out about a week before Senior Week 2002 and EVERYBODY was blaring it at the beach that week. Car after car, day after day, for the entire week. I had never experienced anything like it before or since. There's over. Then there's Eminem in 2002 Ocean City levels of over. Probably half the guys had Eminem-style bleach jobs too. Dude wasn't kidding about his army in White America. Parental Advisory Will was a massive Eminem fanboy who had Em-style hair before most and often wore a white Eminem shirt. I too had bleach blond locks at the time, but was more of a Flair wannabe than an Em wannabe, and my bleach jobs (Jerome Russell ftw) always ended up looking more Corino than Flair. My core group of 7 piled in two cars for our trip to the beach that year. For once I was one of the drivers (I usually managed to worm my way out of driving lol). Even though I was an Eminem fan, who got the Eminem Show a day or so after it came out, my contrarian nature kicked in, and I just HAD to be That Guy. So I asked myself "what is the opposite of Eminem?" Came up with Billy Joel's Uptown Girl and Queen's Bicycle Race*. So for the bulk of that week, while everybody else was blasting something from the Eminem Show, I cruised around town blasting Uptown Girl & Bicycle Race as loud as my 2000 Hyundai Elantra could muster, embarrassing most of my passengers in the process (though I'll give Boo props for being amused by my antics). Edit: Another great running gag was every time Freddie sang "and I don't like Star Wars" in Bicycle Race I'd either turn it down real quick, cover my ears, or sell my disapproval through facial expression or hand gestures. Boo was in on that one too. We were the best of nerds. Another year I drove down to Senior Week it was all about System of a Down in the Bakermobile. Guy named Stoner Jon was my primary passenger that year. Think it was 2005. EDIT: Yep. Had to be 05. Mezmerize dropped a few weeks earlier. This was also the trip where I met a girl from the 🤯 ttsburgh area. *Not gonna lie. If I had to do it over again, it would be all Ass Man, all the time. I had Volumes 4, 5, 6, possibly 3 (can’t remember for sure), Aggression, Forceable Entry* (came out the same day as The Eminem Show!), and the cream of the crop Anthology. What a time to be alive.
*My friend Bryan used Raven's theme from Forceable Entry as his work entrance theme. Every shift he'd pull into the parking lot blaring Raven's theme at maximum volume as if he were me cruising around Ocean City making sure everyone in the Cult of Eminem got to hear Uptown Girl and Bicycle Race.
There are two types of people in this world. Those who did the Triple H water spit in the early 2000s and those who weren't alive yet.
The only correct answer.
Nope.
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Post by Big Pete on Nov 15, 2022 8:01:30 GMT
I was such a fan of theme music I made a thread for it. The thread was inspired by buying the 2K19 DLC simply to have Mike and Maria Kanellis and their awesome power ballad theme song.
What turned me onto entrance music was WWF Wrestlemania 2000. It was one of the big selling points of the game - authentic theme music crushed up so it could fit onto the N64 cartridge. I can't recall a session of that game where I didn't go into CAW and just watch all the different titantrons with Corporate Ministry being by far my favourite.
It's something I always kept note of and if a wrestler changed their music and for the worse I wasn't a fan. In 1999 in an attempt to revamp their image WCW brought all this licensed music and I hated most of it. Metallica's Search and Destroy is a fine track, but it just took away from the brooding Sting character. Truth be told, I didn't mind Megadeath's Crush Em on Goldberg since I never heard Invasion, but it's a clear night and day difference.
I feel like the WWF did a better job and actually liked that they'd change their wrestler's theme music every 2-3 years. The Rock slowly morphing from the Nation of Domination into his babyface theme, Austin getting lyrics, HHH becoming The Game, Uncle Cracker, the Tough Enough theme etc. it was all good.
Well mostly all good, when the WWE moved away from Limp Bizkit and gave Taker his own license track at first I was into it. Then they attached these ass-rock lyrics to it and completely ruined the song. Anytime I go back and after the gong if I don't hear that awesome riff and hear 'YOU DONE IT NOW' I know I've made a big mistake.
Gun to my head, I think New Generation had my favourite themes. Sexy Boy, Razor's theme, Hakushi, Psycho Sid, Yokozuna, Evil Doink hook it into my veins. In fact, the soundtrack to classic PW circa 2002 was essentially HBK's Sexy Boy, Corporate Ministry and the Best of Queen.
A lot of the PPV music also found it's way onto my iPod but I think it was through osmosis. It was actually the video games that had more of a direct influence - Day of Reckoning/SVR & SVR 2007 are two of my favourite gaming soundtracks of all-time and I'll still go back to those games just to hear some Breaking Benjamin, Zebrahead etc. I did have some Exies on my iPod but Guitar Hero deserves the credit there. I didn't mind the early 2010s Wrestlemania tracks - Message In The Stars, Invincible etc. I was watching so much WWE at that time I don't think I had a choice but to get into those songs.
The ability to import theme music into WWE games was a game-changer. It's actually something I do for my Fire Pro Wrestling World save where I'll rip themes for every wrestler even though entrances largely just last 10 seconds. I need that in my presentation, plus it's turned me onto some surprisingly good theme songs. Who knew Von Wagner's theme was so good?
There's definitely some versions of themes that are definitive. For instance, I just couldn't accept anything less than Rock's No Way Out 2003 theme. I understand why they didn't do all the pomp and circumstance, it's like Sting's Starrcade 1997 theme, by the 100th time it'd be too much but it took the song to 11.
I haven't even touched on ECW. ECW making music a major part of it's identity and returning to what made Rock N Wrestling so important is one of it's greatest features.
Controversial take - every indie match was made better if it had a AMV set to 2000s hard rock. Punk-Joe 60 minutes? Nobody's got time for that. Punk-Joe 4 minute AMV? *****! Kind of like how watching modern wrestling is for the birds and sticking to GIF Twitter feeds is the way to go. That's all their wrestling towards anyways.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2022 18:22:13 GMT
Controversial take - every indie match was made better if it had a AMV set to 2000s hard rock. Punk-Joe 60 minutes? Nobody's got time for that. Punk-Joe 4 minute AMV? *****! Music can hide a lot of wrongs! People seem to think the buildup to Rock/Austin at WM17 was good because of that Limp Bizkit MV, but it was actually BORING AF. They weren't allowed to touch each other, there was singing, Debra was involved...it was absolute crap. But people see that My Way video and assume/falsely remember it was a good buildup, when it was absolutely miserable.
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Post by Big Pete on Nov 16, 2022 13:57:22 GMT
Controversial take - every indie match was made better if it had a AMV set to 2000s hard rock. Punk-Joe 60 minutes? Nobody's got time for that. Punk-Joe 4 minute AMV? *****! Music can hide a lot of wrongs! People seem to think the buildup to Rock/Austin at WM17 was good because of that Limp Bizkit MV, but it was actually BORING AF. They weren't allowed to touch each other, there was singing, Debra was involved...it was absolute crap. But people see that My Way video and assume/falsely remember it was a good buildup, when it was absolutely miserable. That match was notoriously dogged on back in the day. It was actually the sit-down interview between the two on SmackDown that salvaged it.
Otherwise they'd done the heavy lifting. It's like Hogan-Warrior where the actual feud may have only been a couple of months, but the build-up had been years in the making.
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Legend
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Post by Ness on Dec 11, 2022 23:18:09 GMT
Who Needs The Radio? I'm probably a handful of years too young to be part of the radio demographic, but I'm close enough to be part of the culture. I fully understand anyone younger than me probably hasn't in forever and the people older than me are probably content with it. I recently bought a new car (a year ago) and it came "equipped" with satellite radio, which means there was a trial and I could subscribe from there. Truthfully I had no need for it, but did look over the listings. They had a channel JUST for Pearl Jam, which seemed unnecessary because isn't that basically every "Butt Rock" station I enjoy? Endless loop of the Chili Peppers, GNR and all the other bands that they play? Truthfully I'm pretty content with what radio offers. Radio for me is really only used for the car and sure they're coming after my stations (I've lost 2 in recent years) but paying a small monthly fee when they're already playing more or less what I want for free? It also didn't help that the outsourced call center kept calling me endlessly to remind me about my expiring trial. Like gimme a break dude, read the room already. I understand no one under 40 actively listens to the radio. Satellite radio seems to be the big one and I do get a kick whenever someone calls radio "terrestrial" - jeezus how much more pretentious can you get? When I'm at work I'm not listening to music, I'm not the earpod guy. If I was, okay maybe having some sort of subscription service would make sense. At home it's Youtube generally and I have my 1.1er stations for the car... that's good enough for me. Yeah but Ness they really don't play anything after 2012. Yeah, I know... I don't need convincing I'm already a loyal listener. If I was gonna listen to Spotify or whatever the big names are... it would probably be the exact same things that are played to the masses, so there's really no point. I don't really go out of my way to find new stuff, but they do find me. I know it's public enemy #1, but I think Tiktok deserves some credit for the way it pushes music. Those 3-5 second sound clips have done a tremendous job of getting musicians over with me. Usually it's just the hook of their chorus and over time it makes me wanna check out the full song. Might be the way you get these tracks over in our ADHD world where nobody has the attention span for them on their own. Without Tiktok I wouldn't know who Dua Lipa is. I love her big hits and guess what? They play them sometimes on my radio stations. That's like 2018-2020 stuff, so you can't really say they don't play anything new. Besides how would you even know if you've ghosted the radio since the Napster days? If all the young people have turned away from radio what sense is there to try and rope them in? Radio just understands their market and plays to the audience.
I will admit my way of listening to music probably distorts my view on what success is. I fully measure artists by their hits because that's what plays on the radio. Even when I owned CDs and piracy was in it's early days I did try and listen to albums start to finish. Maybe not in one sitting, but I'd sample everything. Afterall I "like" this band, why wouldn't their other stuff be just as great? Eventually I started to get in my head... hey, maybe they're hits for a reason. Not to say there aren't great B-sides (is that the right term?) but usually they don't get over for a reason. And sometimes I just didn't have the energy or motivation if we're keeping it 1000. Again the way you could play any track on a CD combined with piracy giving the goods at my fingertips probably didn't help. Some albums I do genuinely love start to finish, but they're pretty rare. If we were stuck in the cassette days where rewinding was too much work, yeah I probably wouldn't have been so focused on the big hits. Are mp3s even a thing anymore? I remember having a massive folder of my songs: anime themes, wrestling music and whatever rock/metal songs I liked. As youtube became more of a thing I slowly leaned away from having songs in a folder. I never got into itunes since so much of my songs were illegal rips from anime and who wants to pay for things? I assume they were phased out as the music industry offered sub services and ipods became less necessary. Youtube just became a legit music platform for me. Look up any song, even ones that haven't been invented yet, and listen away. For free. No ads and I could even repeat or find 1 hour loops? Again for my personal needs having satellite just never made sense. I can be classified as someone who mostly listens to the hits and the big names. Very rarely if ever follow anyone on the small scale. It's simply never been that way for me. I can say PW has opened my eyes to more of the music industry. Sure beyond the typical meme of "don't know anything in the past decade" but the countdowns and discussions that have taken place during our Proboards Era have caused me to look at things differently. As we're seeing with my Limp Bizkit reviews, after Hotdog I was very much in the "thought they were dead LOL", outta sight outta mind. I now see that musicians just PRODUCE. Just because I only listen to things 2012 and before doesn't mean they aren't making endless content. I do wonder if they have "move on from Hybrid Theory already!" outbursts if the fans only want the hits. Am I the norm or am I the minority? But I'm seeing it as a bigger deal now. Song meanings is one I never really thought about. I just liked the "sound" and don't really think of it much beyond that. Let alone getting into weird solo projects. But I do love my songs and even if I'm in a bubble, everything still hits as it ever did. What's old becomes new again over time. Despite that I'm very insecure about my musical tastes. Usually they weren't over with classmates and on the rare occasion I tried dating or chatting girls up... I was completely clueless to what they liked musically. Over time I eventually learned to just keep things to myself. I don't even know how to describe what I like musically. I wish I could be confident enough to make horns and just start headbanging, but I'm clueless. I like rock music. You know those stations that advertise they play nothing BUT rock (butt rock)? Yeah that's my jam. Also doesn't help that I've always been sorta mismatched with my coworkers. Before my current job I worked at a grocery store where most were either old boomers or young 20-somethings and me being an awkward late 20's dude who had been a basement dweller for the past decade... it didn't mesh well. And now my current job where everyone is older, oddly enough we probably have closer musical tastes...
Truthfully I don't know why people like the music they like. People can listen to the same song and have completely different takes on it. Works with food too, but subjectivity never really made much sense to me. How can I think it's awesome and the GOAT and some jobber can think it's the worst thing ever? It doesn't make sense. And why did I never enjoy anything but what I do? Is it environment and the people we associate with it? Is that why my brother leaned into hip hop because that's what his friends and interest aligned with? Is it all based on where we were when we first discovered music in middle school? Music was always just enhancement to me. As such I was never super passionate about it beyond directly listening. I didn't care about the artists. Forget going to see live music. Again maybe it was my way of life and how I didn't really hang out with anyone and so seeing people shit on what I liked I just became more withdrawn and just didn't share the love with anyone. As a result I assumed rock and the like was more or less dead. It might be, but it's not like Breaking Benjamin is playing in a bingo hall either. These bands are very popular, but the reactions I get to liking them both offline and on has made it seem like it's literally just me. That's how I feel when people make blanket statements like no one listens to the radio. Wow, they really are playing this just for me! Today in current year I can't really claim I have a favorite band. I have certain bands where I like a ridiculous number of their songs so on paper I guess they would be a favorite but I find I just go through phases where I'm really into them and they I no sell them for like a year. Probably what I like most about the radio. I'm not fully in control and I can swap around. I know you can do that with the satellites, but those always felt like the user has more control. Abundance of choice always threw me for a loop. In the mp3 days I'd literally have songs I would hardly listen to. What's the point of having them on the hard drive? More than anything I think I'm satisfied with the music I do enjoy. Maybe one of my many boomerisms, but it is what it is. I think that about wraps up any takes I have on music. Up next I wanna move on to a new topic, one that has been on my mind a lot lately. Seems like these inner thoughts about it aren't 100% over or shared with the site as a whole, but this has always been that safe space so I plan on just putting it all out there. Maybe a final chapter, an endgame or maybe just transition this piece into a new direction. It's time for PW to get some love.
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Post by 🤯 on Dec 12, 2022 0:13:02 GMT
You're still getting your curated playlist regardless of whether I disappear or not.
I just need to whittle 100 songs down and order the remainder.
This shit is intended to be a masterpiece of hits that keep on hitting.
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Legend
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Post by Ness on Dec 18, 2022 22:53:24 GMT
PW: INTRO
I always felt at least for the early stages that I adopted the internet a lot sooner than most people I knew. My earliest memories were mid to late 90's AOL with keywords, which were essentially fake "in house" web pages for hard-r's. Always the grizzled veteran by time people in school and IRL were talking about AIM and other aspects of the internet at the time. Despite being an early adopter I still feel like my own social defects were always a wall for me when establishing connections. I was a consumer and a spectator, never one to really put down roots. I've had online friends and even a few online girlfriends, but none of them lasted. The only real community I ever became a part of and stayed long term was this site, PW. Couldn't really tell you my exact window for joining PW proper, but I will say no later than 2006. I've always known about the IWC as far back as 8th grade. My wrestling friend looked up news and spoilers, but I mostly didn't go deep into that side of the internet. The less I knew about DIS BUSINESS the more I enjoyed so it wasn't really a priority for me. I had enough general knowledge simply from being an obsessive fan that I didn't really need it. That changed around 2003 when wrestling was really starting to grow a stigma again. So I went back underground for anything rasslin'. I found PW on a whim by randomly typing in prowrestling and adding a dot com. It was the internet there was a chance and it existed. They had news and all these weird IWC things like articles and such. Over time I eventually discovered there was a message board attached and so I did the wise move and joined. Little did I know that my life would be changed forever from that day. I've been a member of a few boards over the years, but none of them every grabbed me like PW had. I can't quite put my finger on how or why. It's fascinating and there's a lot of things about the community that I want to get answers to. Unfortunately as I've come to learn this is a solo mission because those that are left simply don't feel this way about the site. (It is what it is) We've all done our share of origin stories so I won't go too deeply into that, but my original username at the time wasn't even Ness. I used my go-to "handle" as the kids say, but was shockingly banned in short order. You post one link to Christy Hemme's mommy milkers and everyone loses their minds. This was in our more strict days, back when even posting Youtube links got censored because there was a serious fear of being shut down due to copyrights. My how things have changed. I had never really been banned before and it was hilarious as one user just casually dropped that I wasn't long for the board. Could've easily walked away or just lurked until I grew bored of the place, but instead I started a new account with a new username. I went from radishman to PK_Ness, which eventually became shortened to just Ness which has been my username ever since. To highlight how special PW in general is... no other board or registration ever took on the name Ness, they all mostly stuck to the OG. Ness is a PW exclusive! During this time I didn't really have a "home" or main part I hung out in. I just shitposted my usual nothing one-liners in wrestling. I started chatting with this kid named CometCruiser and I had my Geocities site linked in my bio/signature/somewhere and he saw my write-ups for my mock SSB fed and recommended I post them here. Why didn't I think of it? So I did and Fan Fic became my "home", but I didn't really feel engaged. Mostly selfish endeavors just dumping my content and expecting others to worship me. I did eventually engage, but mostly as backdoor advertisement for my fed. More posts means more people see my signature and are reminded. Review 4 Review may have been a thing as well. It was different and even if the writing/layout itself wasn't anything special it did connect with some, there's no denying that. It's hard to gauge because if there's not a lot of feedback and comments you can't really tell. People have come forward so other than me playing my false modesty routine I can't deny that people read it sometimes. It was never gonna win FOTY or anything and towards the end me winning "non-wrestling" was a meme and I even lost a few times since I'm so stale, but I think I more than earned my spot. Never got in the HOF, but a few users pretending to be outraged that I wasn't in yet was probably better for my character anyway. Then tragedy hit the site. Sometime in 2006 the board became super unstable and everything was wiped and we had to start over from scratch. I was building to Smash-A-Mania and my last show was the PPV before. I didn't really save much as the threads on PW acted as an archive. I rebooted as Brawl, ended it, tried KAS and that was my big one for the longest while until the end of PW Classic.
Bounced around a few spots on PW after that and found a home in the Nerdery. The board really helped me get into comics more heavily. I'm sure I touched upon it in the relevant chapter, but this was around the Civil War arc and that introduced me to a lot of names beyond Spiderman and I was hooked. The ongoing discussions helped a ton. At the same time anime discussion was really taking off and had been obsessively (as I tend to do) watching it for a few years and posted a lot so I sorta got lumped as some sort of expert. I think Easy has referred to me as a Guardian for having that niche covered. I guess the community as a whole saw me that way and they offered me a modship position. So Nerdery was my home for a while as well. I discovered PW and became a part of it a little after graduating high school, a few years into a growing internet addiction where I mostly stayed inside and at home. Not many friends and leaned into family obligations and going to college as justification for being a hermit. Only until x when I join the real world. I was comfortable and quite frankly PW scratched a lot of itches for me socially. I wasn't totally isolated as it was always semi-active. I made friends, talked to people and even at one point brought my online girlfriend to PW. To show how much I loved PW we'd sign off on AIM saying good night and then I'd still be posting on PW for another hour before going to bed. LOL - I'm sure that was a big proponent in her leaving me for another PW user. I didn't know it at the time, but in a way I guess it showed that PW was the priority in my life.
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Legend
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Post by 🤯 on Dec 19, 2022 12:52:04 GMT
What was her handle, and who'd she leave for you? Have Ness & balls just been two side of PW's Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde coin this whole time!?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2022 22:40:20 GMT
Why were you called Radishman?
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Legend
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Post by Ness on Dec 19, 2022 22:43:21 GMT
Why were you called Radishman? It was a stick figure character I created in middle school that I drew on chalk boards in some of my classes. When online names were becoming a necessary part of Internet life I always went with it.
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Legend
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Post by Ness on Dec 20, 2022 0:52:22 GMT
PW: We're Here Now Over time PW just became that place for me. Whenever I had access to the computer PW was always one of my first initial visits. Likely always an ongoing tab opened up. Not uncommon for me to have several PW tabs open without realizing it. It fulfilled a lot of my needs at the time, provided a contact to other people and was just a place I liked to be part of. Once I was in a position to have my own computer in my room it was also constant because I didn't have to stress worrying about sharing or giving up access. So much so that it became over with my brother simply because anytime he'd open my door and see my screen the odds were pretty good that the corner logo was visible. Oh look like someone's on "pee dub" again. You're goddamn right! We all feel it on some level and I think everyone can agree being part of this community is borderline abusive. PW wasn't always kind to us. Some were smart to bookmark it or just have the url memorized because God help you if you gotta navigate the main page to get the forum link. Spyware, ads and just all sorts of viruses. Until I got my own PC we were sporting Windows ME, one of the worst OS ever invented. So you add the bugs of PW and just general early 2000s young dude internet (porn sites and Limewire) and yeah... a lot of computer wipes. Once I even left my Dad a note before going to work, throwing PW under the bus and telling him that after you reinstall Windows (again...) I'll never go again. Of course we all know what a lie that would end up being. It's insane how much abuse we put up with, especially towards the end. It was a meme to just avoid the main page and for most of the time after establishing myself on the forum I did. Some slip ups occurred of course, but that happens even now like when I accidentally click on Sports Empire and try and back out before an NFL thread title flashes in front of my face piece. Why we all stuck around is a mystery. I had other spots, but none ever connected to me like PW. It kinda mirrored my own social life IRL, no social groups or engagements but occasionally I had one really good friend. Cometcruiser, the guy who my online gf left me for (lol no loyalty to be found), djm, lony and dare I say even pi for most of the proboards era. And honestly that was enough for me.
Always been a bit of a loner and sure part of that is just coping with being shy and alone, but I was pretty content with my life. I was objectively a loser (still) but I didn't really crave more. Sure I wanted a cutie and that was the only time I tried to ever change or break out of my shell, but absent of that... I didn't want anything else. Listened to tunes in my room, watch whatever I want and chat with likeminded people in various parts of the world. What more did I need honestly? Good or bad I just never bothered to seek anything out. I was TOO comfortable at home and so ever present PW may have helped kill what little desire I had for friendship. Combine that with a growing internet addiction resulted in... whatever THIS is. On some level I really didn't deep dive the internet because I was anchored to PW. It was only when I had a need PW didn't provide that I sought out other forums. PW was my entire social outlet at times. I had jobs, work acquaintances and family... otherwise I was content to just mindlessly use PW the way others used social media. The idea of not being part of PW just never crossed my mind. Like it was even a choice. On the rare time I thought of PW in the abstract I just assumed people post as normal until life pulls them away from PW. PW was constant and always there. In fact since establishing my name as Ness I can really only think of a handful of times I've been away from the board. Six weeks of Navy basic training is the big one, but other than that I've always been active. There was a period where I larped as "ajleeguy" or was just more in lurker mode... but I was still here so it doesn't count. Whenever I cleared my internet history for "reasons" PW was always one of my first sites to log in to. I never liked making a site my "home page" back when that was a thing and I never did, but PW was the closest to earning that title. PW was simply a routine and since I didn't use a ton of other sites it became standard at all times. Take a dump, cook dinner, check pw. The main page was basically irrelevant to the culture on the board. Sure every so often someone idiot would link or post something from there and we'd all collectively groan and just spray aerosol sanitizer in the air because we weren't interested. Owners really didn't care about us because they were only interested in clicks and revenue, which if anything we took away from. But they ignored us so we just existed on our own. And then we were on their notice and they started fucking with the main page in pursuit of the dollar. Ads on the forum and other intrusive things like spyware. We all donned our hazmat suits and encouraged everyone to use adblock. Change brought about fear so endured the PW Bruises for far too long. It got so bad the site was unreadable even with adblock and it was the end of the road. I had long been out of the loop via being a mod so I didn't know what was going down internally, but seemed their was a light civil war going down between moving and fighting the good fight. There was no going back and so a new site was made and people jumped ship and just in the nick of time because they killed off the board (no doubt in spite) not long after. Some users may have even come back to an empty husk and moved on when the forum disappeared. It was now or never and so the Proboards Era of PW began... 5 years later. Doesn't it seem like yesterday but also ages ago?
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Legend
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Post by Ness on Dec 21, 2022 0:04:40 GMT
PW: New Home
I don't know who I was on Classic PW, but on Proboards I feel I let my guard down and just opened up a lot more. Outside of certain parts of the board I thought I was the same, but perhaps with the community in the move being tighter I simply had more eyes on my posts than before. I was feeling more over with myself and confident in general. The like feature was a huge push for me to go in that direction since there was direct basic feedback without real posting. I never thought I had much to give as I always felt I was a loser with nothing to offer, but the move made me seem like I was given a push of sorts. People liked my contributions and said I was really funny. Perhaps I was a big fish in a small pond, but that spotlight really helped me open up to the board. I always felt like my forum besties were always insistent on getting me over. Djm always wanted me to be the guy. Pi gets a lot of credit for the proboards era because he really pushed me to make this thread and as such I just opened up about many things. I felt good because despite being a basement dwelling GEEK it seemed I had lived a little bit compared to what I thought. Maybe I was a cool guy? Probably not. At least to a certain demographic. Over time I started posting more things like that around the board. Some liked it and I imagine others didn't. PW was simply my social outlet. Despite not being a fan of the thread's title and always being known as the SSB/Anime guy... I am very proud of this thread. Always thought about doing a director's cut edit, but also think everything is fine the way it is. There's no need for a Lucas/Snyder redo. I really gave no fucks about doxxing myself and just writing things truthfully because what are they gonna do? First of all it's a miracle if you even find me and then what? Read my story? Oh no! And if you do what are you gonna do? Hey Ness I saw your thread where you talked about being a janitor. Okay so what? There's basically no one in my life, so does it matter really? That's ultimately what stops me from editing the thread for identifying information but who cares at this point? Years have gone by and PW is still a thing. Similar layout to the old days even if it feels less necessary in current year, but I get it. People have left. A few returns, but I think overall we can see the big picture. If you're not part of this culture the odds of you assimilating again is very small. Over time I've started thinking about that sort of thing more. We can blame gummies or just general isolation, but I started to think about PW deeper than normal. It's all pure projection and nearly everything on this topic can be looped back to "this is how Ness thinks" because ultimately that's all it is. The QUESTION wasn't really about potential listeners but more directed at myself. All those thoughts... what are we doing, isn't it crazy we're still here, why bruh? Because to me PW has been my everything. I've given her my soul, which is why I have no qualms about exposing myself and kinda wish everyone did. I'm slowly understanding I'm completely alone in this thought process. Some users might spend a lot of time here, but it's a watering hole to them. It isn't their life. Ultimately that's been the hardest to accept and has been a borderline broken heart. To see the 1.1ers understand it but not get it has been rough. The deeper meaning behind the talk to me (and I don't even know if the other half knows this) has always been a little deeper than I let on. Because this is very sad but everything I've really built. The site knows me more than my own family. If I sneak in the shitter to get away from family during X-Mas it's usually to check up on PW. I considered the site my real family and I see that is one-sided unfortunately. (It is what it is) I bonded with pi over the talk and needed the rest of the site to agree and feel the same. In my mind it was the only way to make sense of still being here. They have to right, otherwise why still come here? Beyond projection I see the big picture. Everyone else has a life outside of PW, so no. Changing priorities means they just hang out, it isn't their everything. They got kids dawg so there's less time. I was worried. Was being here a complete waste of time? Did my isolation never end? Is it possible the community I thought I was a part of didn't actually exist. Was it all a waste of time? Why do you insist on making PW a "thing"? Because it's all I got man. It's all I got... I never craved more and I look down the second half of my life I wish I did. I didn't establish any connections or build myself socially by being a hermit using PW as a surrogate companion. Everyone else did so they aren't relying on the health of PW to fulfill their needs. I wish I had something... more. Ultimately that all just feels like it's centered on a cutie. At this point in my life it's too late for that and anyone not blowing smoke up my ass knows that's true. So I was banking on bonding over this great site with people. That was my answer. If the people of PW may not be besties but if we all feel the same about PW and how she's in our veins and we need her then it was all worth it. On paper that was why I scoffed at the idea of "talking to someone" because they'll never be able to understand. No matter how you slice it, PW is a footnote or even several chapters in my life story. They won't get it. Surprisingly I'm alone even in that because as it turns out that's not a knock against a psych because not even PW gets it. I get it, PW disappears while I'm typing this and people will likely mourn (more like the people themselves if they didn't establish outside contacts) but ultimately move on. I'm sure I could do it eventually. Just sadly turn to the alternatives like reddit and youtube communities. Basically what Vince assumed the WCW fans would do in 2001. Just absorb into what's offered. PW was always different than other communities so I think I would lack something inside if it was gone. If PW agreed with my insane thought process, well I can just live life with my head in the clouds... I found my people. Even if this is all my life amounts to, dude at least it's mine. That was one way to answer the QUESTION and also part of me wanted to open a dialogue for the possibility. If people were on the fence I'd honestly want to hear about it. Like it's the argument against ghosting. If you're were considering it, I think we're all close enough that we can handle it. The direction of PW. The layout. Everything she is. I wish threads like that were on the table. And if people unanimously pulled the plug I suppose it would sting but ultimately be a bandaid ripoff moment to steal a line from my old Super No Vacancy days. It would be easier to accept people not liking it anymore than to watch people slowly walk away due to changing priorities. I don't think anyone really gave the ANSWER one way or another. Not to my liking. I guess because I'm weak and [redacted term that people don't like] for feeling this way, but I kinda wish things were taken from me and out of my hands. Then I can pass the buck and not take ownership in my feelings. Perpetual woe is me that you have to just laugh at. The only connections you ever made pal. Poof. That was the best you'll ever get and it's gone. It WAS important to me, which is why something like PW News was so easy and natural. Sure I used it (sorry) to just shit on things, but I found ease and comfort to talk about PW out loud. I love her so much...
PW was my anchor and I feel lost these days. It's been such a large part of my every day in some capacity for going on 20 years (2026 isn't far...) and maybe it's part of a midlife crisis or mind crisis in general... that it's genuinely hard to think of a world without it. I feel disconnected at large. Especially recently as a few posts I've made have made people dislike me. I guess since I gave her my soul I just naively let down all my walls. It reminded me how different our lives have turned out. Me someone who really hasn't grown since becoming "Ness" back in 2006. I may be older but my mind feels like it can't get past that pivotal point when I first registered. Which affects what I find acceptable versus someone who grew past that period in their life. I guess at it's core I used PW not only in place of connections, but as my focus. Which is why her being less needed makes everything I've done feel wasted. What did you do with your life? PW. That's my answer. PW was just it for me in a lot of ways. I'm in this weird paradox where I don't even know how to function away from PW. It's ultimately one of the few places I felt myself. IRL is few actual conversations. The question bounces back to me. What am I doing? I don't expect anyone to understand but that's where I'm at. Have a few more mini-topics to cover and then I'm gonna deep dive personally into the QUESTION to close everything out.
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Legend
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Post by 🤯 on Dec 21, 2022 2:55:27 GMT
Ness, I had a little bit of an epiphany today when talking to Wife yet again about quantum physics, the impact of the James Webb telescope pics, etc. and recalling that as I was reading your latest post and thinking about your obsession with THE TALK and PW. To play amateur armchair pop psychologist, recognizing some of myself in you, I think you might have OCD. Perhaps in a very similar way to myself. That's not a bad thing per se, but it definitely is something that needs unpacked and help to be managed to allow room for happiness in your mind and life. I'd encourage you to seek out a therapist, tell her or him you've been feeling down and a concerned buddy said he suspected you might have OCD, and then by way of example run them through a half hour version of THE TALK. See what their reaction is, and go from there. Maybe there's a way to lighten the load inside your head and then consequently your life. If you want to PM me parameters, I'd be happy to search out a short list of therapists that sound legit enough I'd visit. Then be an accountability buddy to encourage you to audition them. Also, what's the strain of your weed? I think there's something to the actual chemistry. Sativa and hybrids seem to exacerbate my shit. Think steering towards exclusively indica is a good counter. Might be worth paying attention to all the chemical jargon on the labels too. Maybe Spotty can speak more to that? Anyway... Hang tough, brudda. Ain't nothing wrong with you, but that doesn't mean we don't all need a helping hand or an open ear from a third party sometimes. It just is what it is. Get at it. I love ya, boo.
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Legend
19,310 POSTS & 19,612 LIKES
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Post by Ness on Dec 26, 2022 21:17:21 GMT
PW: Bits and Pieces Forums and message boards are a medium we're all familiar with. Looking at them objectively it's kinda like wrestling... it's not dead but people have kinda moved on. As I've said a few times over the years PW is not my first radio, but it has always felt "different" than other places. I don't think the experience we've had is all that unique. One of the few boards I have stayed at long-term once PW was my home has gone through their own version of our trauma. Not the spyware and antagonistic nature with owners, but old servers being held up by scotch tape and a dwindling user base. I was seeing it happen to them and it felt like I was the only one, likely because of my experience on PW. Very much one of those "first time?" situations. Like PW they had to start over from scratch and that included a new URL. Same arguments we had, the usual fear that people are used to things one way and won't make the move if it hits the fan. It brings into question their own talk because if simply moving locations causes the few who are loyal to move on, is there much of a base left to justify existing? I actually came forward and explained what I assumed is gonna happen. And it's mostly mirrored it. They have their own 1.1ers and if anyone does "find" the old board it's just like our old ones who do... they'd say hello but aren't gonna stick around beyond a token 10-post run. In the time we've been posting actively the internet has changed in a big way. Feels like forums are just hanger ons from that era of the internet. Can we even call it the same thing with how much growth and access and reach we've seen in the past decade? I just don't think the people who have left the culture (whether pw or another forum) can ever come back. Ultimately that's what a lot of my fear of people taking "breaks" comes from. I still have it in my head that we're dumb college students and teenagers living at home because up until very recently that wasn't far from my life.
Perhaps I'm not the only one who has grown with PW. Because there's quite a few users who I consider the TRUE 1.1ers. I honestly consider them "names", just regular people who I see as the blood of PW. At least since our move to proboards, in some form or fashion they feel "present" even if they aren't active in my spaces. That could just be legit part-time or just sticking to Sports... that core is still here and *might* always be here and it's only when a few truly bounce that the future comes into question. I honestly have used PW as a catch-all home base when it came to the Internet. It was a place to discuss wrestling, but also the social aspect. I really haven't had much presence on social media and sure that doesn't mean I was never on other platforms but very rarely after 2012, which is the year I think things changed for the internet good or bad. Just never had the need because everything was being handled in some capacity by being on PW. Even other forums I didn't use the same as PW. Oh sure I tried to force it, but it just never fit. People seem to be stickler for the rules and don't see the appeal of using specific forums as just hang-outs and prefer to use them to stay on topic and for specific purposes. "It just happened" - is probably the best descriptive of PW as a concept. I don't think anyone could've pictured PW being used in some capacity beyond wrestling and just a catch-all place to hang out. So many forums I've used and I don't use them anymore. Never went logged in thinking oh this is just my home, but that's how it became. I think it was the right place at the right time. A growing internet addiction happened when PW was becoming a very familiar frequent stop. I never really got the same dopamine rush from social media as PW and I was always quick to delete and move on when things didn't go my way. I wanna believe that confidence of "fuck this shit" was only possible because of the comfort PW provided... it was just always there and I was loyal in that way. I didn't need anything because I had PW. Absent of it being part of my regular internet use, I might've clung to social media a little more.
And yet gun to my head I can't really describe the why. I can ballpark and I'm sure any decent licensed professional can connect certain dots to what kept me there given life events and dates. For instance talking about the online girlfriend situation that was towards the end of 2007 and as such it was probably right when PW was clearly more than just a fad and was a real community. So even if I didn't use PW as a therapist at the time, it was still there and it held me down at a low point in my life. Eventually I got over it and moved on with my life. More life events and I could always rely on PW being there. Again not to vent or anything related to those events, but just being an active part of my life. Years kept stacking up and it was just a regular part of my life. People came and went but PW was always part of the opening credits. Why I can't really describe it is because I didn't really feel in the community, but still part of it if that makes any sense. A few friends here and there, but not really part of any groups. But since that reflected my social skills growing up... that seemed normal. And not to blame PW for anything because we always gotta take responsibility for things... it probably didn't help my social isolation. I say I didn't really care, but maybe that's only because I still had things to scratch that itch and that was all on PW. Is it possible I used PW as a replacement for finding friends? Even if I didn't actively have super close relationships to anyone on PW at certain times, I still felt connected to the community as a whole. Home life resulted in me spending more time at home so with that growing internet need it I just spent a lot of time on PW. In the same way Facebook messenger killed things like AIM and MSN, PW was my version. I suppose all that's left is to give my own take on the QUESTION. An answer when planning this chapter I was already sure of... but now I'm somewhat on the fence.
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Legend
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Post by 🤯 on Dec 27, 2022 12:23:24 GMT
The cliffhanger has me on the edge!
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Legend
19,310 POSTS & 19,612 LIKES
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Post by Ness on Jan 2, 2023 22:35:09 GMT
QUESTION & ANSWER Originally I was planning on having this final PW post up before the new year. I had it written, proofread and formatted with the rights gifs but I never got around to posting it for a variety of reasons. Being gummified and being unable to tie a few loose ends before falling asleep the past few days mostly stopped me from posting it. I say that because the answer was to leave PW, at least for a while which would've included [DELETING] my account to ensure the hiatus would be respected. Might seem melodramatic and excessive, but isn't everything with me and isn't that my general response to PW? Oh well a few people clapped back because of something I said, time to just leave and never come back because clearly everyone hates me. But maybe it was all premature and I hadn't reached the true answer yet. Is it possible it wasn't until I started typing up the post and planning my "exit" that I was finally asking the question properly and what I thought was the answer was just me critically thinking about this community and what it all means. I have decided to just delete all those words and start over but by acknowledging the thought process before getting into the nitty gritty of this post, which will hopefully act as the endgame to all the chatter regarding THE TALK. PW is important to me, but in a way maybe it's too important and I've put too much stock into it as a whole. In some form or fashion I've been semi-active on the site minus a few short term absences here and there, the longest of which was probably the 6 weeks I was in basic. At minimum I have checked PW in some form or fashion daily. Might not post every day, might not do much on certain days with regards to activity... but not much ever got past my vision. I've always considered myself somewhat of a PW Historian because I generally see a bit of everything... except for sports but we all know the deal there. Like in Lion King that's the Elephant Graveyard and we don't go there because the light doesn't touch it. The active discussion regarding our future has opened my eyes to a lot of projecting I have been doing. I have mistakenly applied my desire for PW to be something everyone else also feels. It has taken me a while to understand that we have grown, aged and evolved since the early 2000's. People have families, priorities and quite frankly the need for a dedicated forum for us like PW is just not there anymore. The internet has changed so much since then that it's basically a different animal. I suppose I was mistaken because of how much we as a collective have endured with PW and I always thought that trauma made us all see PW in the same way. That ignores a lot of that force of will to remain here was because we didn't have the options we have today. If PW was being PW in 2023 nobody would be here, period. I was merely assuming that my thought process applied to everyone. Seeing camaraderie with pi made me mistake that with everyone overall because I could not fathom anyone still being here unless they felt "it". Ultimately the question was directed at me more than any lingering 1.1er and it was me trying to come to terms with my life and what I've been doing with it since joining PW. PW just hit me right when social media was becoming a "thing" overall. I have used social media obviously, but mostly with goals in mind. Talking to a few work cuties, trying to make myself available for podcast endeavors, etc. It was always with an objective in mind and usually short term when goals fail. I was never on them just to be on them... unlike PW. PW was my social media. I got social interaction, talked about my interests with like-minded people and because of longevity it was always there holding me down. It was a replacement for friends and social engagement. When life does what life does it was always there for me, so while it was background in my life... it never let me down. It was loyal, so I in turn was loyal back. I never once considered leaving. Ever. As for why I was considering leaving and doing it scorched earth... I felt I needed an extended break from PW for a variety of reasons. As mentioned earlier and I'm sure numerous times elsewhere... I've never been away from PW. So the idea of it going away is scarier than Off Topic. Ya know the diner scene in Heat? That's how I feel about the site. The idea of it being gone just doesn't match what my entire adult life has been about. I don't know how to do anything else. I don't much want to either. So thinking about it deeply as I've been doing lately... maybe it's my own existential crisis, but I've been thinking about a reality without it. And no sir, I don't like it.
I wanted to see if I could even do it. In the "talk" episode of Slice I mentioned us collectively taking a break and then returning in say 6 months just as a test. That was the plan. Do the good-bye post, self-delete and then experience a world without PW because like it or not that may be the future I have to contend with. Why it affects me and doesn't others is because in a lot of ways PW is all I got. Especially in the proboards era I've been using it a replacement therapy sounding board in the same way PW Classic was my replacement for friends. That doesn't apply to others so of course they won't see it the same way. There's nothing wrong with that, but... it is what it is. I also wanted to leave because I find I'm not being the member I should be. I'm not really making threads and engaging with the site. Mostly consuming. Blindly coming to the site and getting annoyed when nothing interesting is happening despite not doing it myself. The members are the community so if you want change you have to be the one to do it. Sometimes I try and at times it feels like it goes nowhere. A lot of old school Hedberg "wtf is wrong with this guy" vibes going on for sure. And just seeing people at different stages in life has me finding issues relating with users than I used to back in the day. And this might be too egotistical to be a thing, especially for someone with my self esteem levels... but I've often had a theory about our notification bot, pi. I doubt it's true, but I sometimes have thought he only sticks around for me. As if his thought process was I can't leave because I can't abandon Ness. I doubt that's true, but would it be out of the realm of possibility to think our own personal 1.1ers are what keeps us here more than anything? You get rid of a few users we love to see and engage with, do anyone of us stick around? So I was thinking of "leaving" to free Pi. I thought if I ripped the bandaid off and bounced then he could finally move on IF that was a reason for him sticking with PW.
A lot of things I post are pure projection. It might just be the way I talk and communicate since I spend so much time in my head. I made declarations as if they're reality and shared by everyone. Oh I have basically little if any interest in wrestling? Business is dead. I hardly play any vidya or watch anime these days? Yep, those billion dollar industries are basically indies at this point. I'm unhappy with things on PW? Yep, then it's decided these things need to change. So a few times I've made topics saying things matter of factly and then people be like bruh. Which only fuels my scorched earth mindset of leaving PW. I'd say what really keeps me here is I don't know what to do with myself. I'd just spend even more time on reddit and youtube instead of exploring the world or expanding my social circle which at this point in time is PW and Sally. I was ready to go. "Suicide note" ready to go, plans on making it official including a PM or two and I was even considering making a PW News style broadcast as I know not everyone is gonna read the post in this thread. It was ready to go, queued up in the thread and all I had to do was hit submit. But I dragged my feet, maybe I wasn't ready? Started overthinking because one of the reasons for deletion was the shame involved. If I got rid of my username it would prevent me from coming back a day later because who wants to do the walk of shame as @ness02? Would I truly leave or would I just be lurking and have that sense of dread because every time I'm "away" for a while it seems everyone gets party hats on and has a blast. Like that one time I stayed over at school to research something in the library and turns out the bus ride they were passing around naked pics of Jenny McCarthy (this was back when internet wasn't standard)... it always works out like that for me. Maybe it was the finality of it that stopped me. I've been meaning to go through this thread and give it a full edit. Fix random typos, maybe reconsider censoring/redoing some aspects of posts related to my job just to eliminate names/locations, etc. Once Ness is gone so would the ability to do that even if I returned six months later. This has long since replaced SSB as my magnum opus here on PW and even if I'm the only one who revisits anything in it... if PW is all I got, this would definitely be the climax of whatever I accomplished in life. It's the only record that I ever actually existed.
Earlier today proboards was having issues for a little bit and yet I kept coming back and refreshing. Doesn't sound like someone who wants to walk away. Yesterday whenever I did look at my phone I had to physically stop myself from hitting p enter to get to the site since I was still planning to leave. It's an addiction, habit and just my way of life. I don't think I even can walk away so more than anything maybe I just wish PW was open sourced? I'd love to bring changes out in the open, discuss some topics regarding the lore/background of the site itself. There's clearly still passion and drive to make this place something and I've learned it's literally just me. Others not feeling the same isn't cause to bounce... but maybe accept what I want/need PW to be is not what it is/will ever be. I love PW, probably more than anyone that has ever been a part of this community. I've often joked that I'm the only one who ever told the truth when I said I'd never leave. Turns out even from me that's only 99.99% true. Mistress said it? She split faster than Brock. Lony claimed it, but unlike me he managed to change his fate so I can only see his part time status getting more and more part time-ier. Can't think of any other names who made the declaration to me, but they were the big ones. Guess it'll have to be me. I always fantasized about getting the last word about the site, perhaps a PW News signoff. I dunno if that'll ever be the case, but is it arrogant to think no one else deserves to? So to answer THE QUESTION and maybe potentially put a pin on THE TALK... sigh. What am I doing? What kinda life is this? There's no point in dwelling on these things, only what is. I know I'm not going anywhere. I'm not prepared. I can't survive on the "outside", I just don't have the tools. And I know better than anyone (being the foremost expert on all things Ness) that I'm probably not willing to change anything about my life. I also don't really want to leave, I just want things to remain constant. Like a lot of things in my life I crave that rut of contentment and anything deviating from that should not exist. But I'm prepared now. As fully prepared as any of us can be. If my 1.1ers leave, I'm ready. If IRL takes over for others and PW is less of a priority and goes down in activity where I'm having my own @whocares themed party threads... I think I'm ready. If I am just going to rot here waiting to die, the only roots I've set for myself (as shallow as they are) has been on PW. There's simply nothing else out there for me. I've been given resources and it's up in the air if I will ever fully take advantage of them or just continue my perpetual shocked Pikachu face when things don't change for me. As far as PW goes and this whole "what are we?" talk I've been having with myself, it's in my veins I don't envision myself ever going anywhere. I'm here for the long haul regardless of what I see on the board. At most I might spend less time here in relation to the other major pages I visit... but I don't think I'll ever be completely free of PW. It's grandfathered in from a simpler time. Too much time has been pumped into her. I might use other sites/forums for specific needs that PW is unable or unwilling to accommodate me with, but those are short term at best. PW is the watering hole we all congregate around and that's all it is. I accept that it can't be what I need it to, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still have a need in my life. I'm not going anywhere and while I can't promise this topic will stay dead and gone after posting this version of my closing statement... I think I've finally found an answer to my question in the only way I can: long winded, confusing and left with more questions than answers. I am PW.
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Legend
19,310 POSTS & 19,612 LIKES
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Post by Ness on May 15, 2023 22:47:11 GMT
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THIS THREAD? Since starting this thing I've noticed I've had several waning interests that defined my personality that I simply no longer care for. Another one of those really defined who I am and that is stand up comedy. I'm not sure what attracted me to the genre, but as a family we nearly always had cable tv so it was a staple at times of waking up late night and going to the living room (this was before having a tv in my room was common place) on Friday or Saturday late when everyone was asleep and going through the channels and finding specials and bits. Assuming I didn't hit the Skinemax first naturally. Growing up I really had a limited entertainment window because we weren't really allowed to watch anything beyond PG-13. So in a way I kinda just stuck to cartoons, kid shows and comedies until I hit late teens and start discovering my own shit. It was an easy lateral move for comedians to simply star in that type of stuff. Oh yeah I remember that guy from the thing... and he's saying stuff, I like it. There were just certain familiarities to stand-up that made it an ass planter for me. Because of limited options of being a kid and not having the internet as we know it today... I wasn't able to be as indulgent as I've become... but whenever I'd see the set-up of what looks like a comedy special... I stop what I'm doing and pay attention. I mentioned PG-13 because my parents were weird about things growing up. We couldn't watch rated R movies (yes they actually sent us to our rooms if they wanted to watch one), but they didn't have an issue buying us Mature games. Was it the sex and language more than violence? I'm leaning on sex because the same foul language is used in comedy. Or perhaps the way violence was presented in those early generations was still mostly cartoonish so it seemed silly. A lot of times it felt like my parents were constantly shielding us from the world but they didn't discourage me watching stand up when I was young despite it touching on the same subjects they didn't like me paying attention to from movies and tv. I think as a result of the way we were punished I didn't stray from what they wanted and always wanted their approval so when they didn't instantly change the channel on me a connection to something beyond cartoons finally formed. Not even gonna lie, in a lot of ways I feel like these guys raised me. They were the uncles/father figures I never had. Since I'd only randomly see it on tv and didn't live in LA or NYC I didn't even know it was a "thing". One magical day I was able to finally experience it on my terms. Chris Rock released Bigger & Blacker, which reminds me... it was really just movie ratings they had a problem with. I really think it was the nudity more than the f-bombs. That or maybe wanting mature games and to hear music just happened when we were teens and the rule was only a thing when we were single digits. Anyways that was the first comedy special I had in my hands. Free to listen to it start to finish, tracks or just whenever. What I started to notice (and yes Rock is a prophet) was whenever they had a point that I agreed with, it became canon to life. Both in what I consider "rules" but in my own vault of things I say, which we'll touch up on soon enough. I think it was here that I was starting to understand the art of getting short term pops with telling jokes and one-liners. Or perhaps it was a mask for something else? It didn't instantly register but over time I started noticing reciting lines I remembered from specials or just shows in general made people laugh. Maybe at random moments, but it seemed like if even for a moment there... I was getting over in a cheap way. I couldn't hold a conversation, I couldn't really build from it... but in the moment I could at least cut a knife through the awkwardness. Maybe it was the only way someone shy like me could get the approval in my mind. I didn't notice it until much later in life that would be my response to anything in life. If anything even remotely serious was being discussed I'd attempt to change the subject by telling a joke or making fun of it. Nothing ever got addressed or discussed because I would attempt to get a pop and we'd move on. It's probably what attracted me to what would eventually become one of my favorite shows.
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Legend
19,310 POSTS & 19,612 LIKES
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Post by Ness on May 24, 2023 2:46:15 GMT
That's A Shame
At one point in time I would've said Seinfeld is my #1 with a bullet. I don't know if I would say that today, but I think it still holds up in the current market simply because of replayability. Maybe 1A/1B to my other favorite. There was just something about this show that just instantly got over with me. The lines, the situation, the "rules" of life, etc. I couldn't get enough. I can't say for sure if I knew about it during it's actual run, maybe a little. Like many sitcoms the real paying your dues occurred during syndication via TBS and other stations. I don't think I ever seen it start to finish, just piece-work. I did start an official rewatch this year, but only got to mid-second season before losing interest as it was taking time away from shows I haven't seen (the "list") and ya know just mindless Internet.
I didn't realize it until a few years ago just how much of an influence it had on me and my life. I have been compared to Jerry on a number of occasions. I think my look and just the way I present myself reminds people of him. But now I'm starting to wonder if I took "influence" a bit too far. There's so many Nessisms that can be tied to this show that I sometimes wonder where the real me begins and the Cable Guy absorption of media ends. Like is there anything that is me or is it all a hybrid monster of every show and character I've ever liked?
Outside of wrestling really I've never been the guy to be open about being a fan. I've always been in the closet about my interests. Maybe because they didn't go over well or perhaps trauma from growing up made me less likely to draw attention to myself... except in this way. There's a scene in the show where Jerry and Elaine are part of George's date and he's asked to not be funny. And that's me to a tee. I started to understand it during my Luke Harpering where I met this girl a few times and she kept commenting that I couldn't not run my mouth. And it's true, despite being so shy once I'm given the green light... I kinda don't stop. Maybe it's just how I respond to being nervous because I know whenever I've been drunk or tipsy I'm a rambler.
Talking with her I was starting to see that I just can't let a moment be serious for any length of time. My parents will occasionally try to get to know me on that level and I'll just crack jokes. It's probably borderline irritating and I'm reminded of the "female Jerry" and just saying random stuff to try and get a pop/agreement with someone. It's likely grating long term but since most people (outside of PW) don't binge season of Ness it's less noticeable. Answering a question that no one asked. It's either super shyness or circus monkey routine. Only issue I face now is I can't even tell if it's me or is everything just a decently timed imitation? This is probably why comedians don't watch each other's stuff on the regular. It just goes in the vault and it's hard to tell what is your mind or something you've heard. You can't just recite content and have it work, so I'll say it's 50% me and 50% love letter to things I've always enjoyed. And as my Algebra II teacher used to tell us at least once a week... to someone of you this is a review, for others it's gonna be like hearing it for the first time.
I think it's unrelated especially since the concept of Jerry being a comedian wasn't as pronounced in later seasons, but a few years after it ended after plenty of rewatches I started discovering different comedians thanks to Comedy Central Presents and the wonders of P2P. Like I didn't even know comedy albums were a thing until after the Chris Rock one. In my music files were plenty of stand-up, might as well have been it's own genre. Despite some comics needing the visual side to them I've found there's something truly unique about just the audio portion. That's a reason I like to think despite being heavily influences and at times downright stealing jokes to tell in person, I at least can say delivery is my own since I didn't see how they acted. Similar tone, but I had my own mannerisms and presentation. There's no 1:1 no matter how much practice you get.
My big three around high school were Jim Gaffigan, Brian Regan and Mitch Hedberg. I was able to see two of them once. After graduating I had others joining their ranks but they were my main guys. Surprisingly I got into the streaming game kinda late. I really didn't start using them for realsies until like 2017 or 2019 for the end of Game of Thrones. I kinda consumed in a bubble so I didn't feel the need for Netflix in that way. Although I do have to admit of the last 50 specials I tried to watch, only like 10 of them did anything for me. I don't know if I just don't like anyone anymore or if the material just doesn't work for me. I find myself revisiting the classics more than trying anything new, unless it's someone's latest release. I've often thought I only keep the 'Flix for comedy, but that can't be true if I don't like any of it. It's a great go-to when I want someone though since they tend to always be on there. Great comedy archive honestly.
I was big into Demetri Martin in the mid to late 2000s, who always felt like the spiritual successor to Mitch and maybe closer to how I actually am. I couldn't really list who my current favorites are if I even have any. It's funny it seems whenever the content is readily available it's always on the tail end of my interest. I seem to get into things so much more when there's a little more work involved in getting access to it like ordering DVDs or hunting for torrents/websites. Same with wrestling. Maybe there's a certain element of hipster pride involved.
Obsessing over it and making it a large part of my personality I think has done some harm to me. Nothing is ever serious and I always downplay any real connection by making a joke (read: fun) about the situation at hand. I think that's why Seinfeld appealed to me so much. What I saw was what I wanted... and I guess I got it. No one gonna see the baybay, no man made prisons, just eating cereal in the apartment. I think ultimately what put me down this path of seeking acknowledgement and overness via telling jokes came right before I graduated high school. For the first time in my life I felt "over" but it was in a very specific genre and I've been chasing the dragon the rest of my life. Up next let's talk about my drama class.
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Legend
19,310 POSTS & 19,612 LIKES
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Post by Ness on Jun 14, 2023 23:34:32 GMT
Developmental After 10th grade my Dad received orders moving us to Florida. It was decent timing because the move happened at the end of the school year into summer so there wasn't much to stress over like your traditional military move. Over the course of the summer my Mom had to enroll us in the new school district and I was tasked with picking some electives. This was actually the first time where I didn't have any outside influences. I actually took several years of Spanish in middle school until the recent move, not because I was interested but because I was led to believe it was needed for college enrollment. Not actually true and certainly not with that 2.0 GPA in them. I don't remember what the other one was, but I opted for "Drama I" for my junior year as an elective. I can't remember every detail, but I must've mentioned some things before in the various chapters. If the details line up then you at least know it's all a shoot and none was kayfabe. I remember taking Drama twice in middle school. The first time was in 6th grade where it was part of this weird pupu platter of classes. Basically it wasn't a full or even a half semester, just a sample of what to expect from the class. I suppose it's only in 7th and 8th grade where we actually got to pick classes we want... and yeah I look back now realizing taking Spanish did NOTHING for me and I could've been in Home Ec cooking and being around a bunch of cuties. Makes me think maybe "don't try this at home kids" ads were meant for someone like me. I liked the sample drama class in 6th grade and not sure why I didn't take it again. My best friend at the time is who convinced me to take Spanish and sadly sometimes I am very easily influenced in a monkey see monkey doo sorta way. By the next year he was getting a push via a rise in popularity and I was sorta left behind. I think that may be why I chose drama in 8th grade because it lined up with another social change that I mentioned with the Teen Girl Squad, my 2 other friends at the time were doing their own thing so I was kinda on my own. To my knowledge I don't think the 'Squad was in the class (I knew them through Art and my neighborhood) so it might've just been a case of oh yeah I remember Drama from the first year... fuck it. I don't really have any memories of this class other than a thing I didn't really get at the time. There was this nerdy guy who I may have mentioned before. One of these days I need to do a remaster of this thread to close any plot holes I've left open, but if I did mention him before it was probably in the Love chapter because I was one of those geeks who put up pinups in their locker. I think I may have had one of Buffy and the cheerleader sister from Daria in mine and he asked me why I felt the need to get a boner at my locker every day. In a similar vibe the memory I have from the class features him giving some sort of presidential monologue and making a joke about Monical Lewinski (to put a relevancy date on the time period) and I didn't understand it for several years. Clearly I was not ready for all his edgy content.
Freshman and sophomore years I did not take Drama until the move and I was on my own picking classes and like the time I picked it earlier it was simply a case of what the hell. So for my junior year I took Drama I for 3rd period... and man, this was the definition of a slacker class. Impossible to fail and very low expectations. Basically we'd read about the history in our text books (which never left the class because it wasn't that type of class), get a lesson and do performances based on whatever material our teacher was putting forward. Truthfully I'm not even sure if the teacher took it seriously, which honestly made the whole thing fun. We didn't always have a choice over our performances, sometimes it was simply acting out a segment of a play or predetermined script... but when we had choices of things to do I often would either make up my own thing or simply poke fun and satire a legitimate thing in my own way. It was always comedy focused whether I intended to or not. Perhaps just the natural state of me speaking. The important thing for me was simply to get a pop while I'm up there and laughs in a public speaking way was how that was achieved. Sometimes it was unintentional, but in the same way wrestlers say "money's worth" for whatever they do... that was a similar mindset I had. In any class really. If I'm at the front I would try and do more than simply read the script and drone on. What's weird is I assumed no one was paying attention when I was up there speaking, seeing as I generally wasn't when they were. So to see some reactions from the class... it was like, huh? Okay I'll take it... The class was situated in a weird way, almost like the lineup inside of a school bus or the lunch room where everyone sat with their peers. Nerds and less populars at the left near the door and you edged towards the window you'd be where the more popular/athletes sat. I sat about 75% inside from the door. It was honestly just a random seat I took on the first day and I think it was the bridge before the dorks turned into the cool kids. I of course probably belonged closer to the dorks, but I thought it was fitting since my whole row of chairs were people who didn't belong to either side. I made friends with the guy who sat next to me and I think it was him that convinced me to sign up for Drama II. Actually a lot of people spoke openly about doing so. Not everyone of course, but I'd say a good passing grade (70 or better) of Drama I came to Drama II. This one ended up being the final period of the day and I think that really MADE the course with how the build up through the day happened. Every week or so the school had this weird double block for classes. Might've been something like Wednesdays all your odd periods were 90 minutes instead of 50 and Thursday you did the evens. That was usually the day we did our performances so I can only assume it was the school's way of giving you TIME for class things like exams and such. It was a weird system which made some classes brutal, but this one felt extra fun when it was Drama after lunch for the rest of the day.
So Drama II I was feeling a combination of both confidence and depression. Like I don't wanna say I was going through an emo phase or anything, but if I did have one this was the "great run" of it. The biggest thing was simply it was my senior year and I was worried about the next step. I didn't want to kill myself necessarily, but I did fantasize about simply dying and being in "Heaven". I was lost and didn't know what to do next. I mostly enjoyed the standardized schedule of mandatory school... but now I didn't know what to do. College? Okay... to do what? The other half of the depression would be what I certainly mentioned in the previous chapter but being in love with the girl who sat next to me... one of them anyway. To my right was a cute blonde girl who wasn't in my other class and there was a few instances where we shared moments together and the added confidence I was feeling in the class just had me obsessed with her. So much so that until a few years ago I didn't even realize the girl to the other side of me - probably actually did like me. I can't confirm it obviously, but looking back I really think she did. I wasn't not attracted to her, just less so than the other one and she was my focus and a big reason I was depressed. I simply did not see the other one that way and I do wonder if I had would that have changed this choose your own adventure of my life? One thing that changed for me in this class vs. the previous year is I was essentially just finding excuses to cut promos in front of everyone. Like if I could turn it into a monologue in my mind I was just addressing an arena of fans. I wasn't acting out a scene. Creon was cutting a promo on Oedipus. Like looking back I feel like I was in a completely different class than everyone else. Like I wasn't really trying to do the assignment, I was simply trying to get a character over. Regardless of what the actual assignment was, I just used it as an excuse to try out stand up routines and see what I could do with cutting promos. Forget the context but I was doing a classic heel promo making fun of the local sports team, so I bagged our high school team to silence. I stopped because the wrestling fan in me assumed the next line would not be heard because of the reaction... but there was none. So I broke kayfabe and said you guys are supposed to boo. The teacher chimed in and mentioned they're probably not wrestling fans. I continued with the promo and swung things around and then praised the team. To their credit they DID cheer that one. So either they learned when the teacher mentioned wrestling or they just no sold me bashing our mascot as cheap heat. We actually did this weird hybrid play of several Greek stories in front of actual people. We sold tickets and it was a whole production. We had people doing parts, others narrating and a few even in charge of lights and theatrics. Practiced it for like a month and then when I peeked through the curtain (I was an opener) and oh my god just seeing the crowd just put this huge ass lump in my gut. I've always found it somewhat okay once I'm in front of the class... but seeing rows of people waiting to see us was really nerve wracking. A complete 180 from the performances I was doing in front of the class, but this was probably the only time I was ever on display in front of an actual crowd... doubt you could call it the Showcase of the Immortals since the only compliment I got was I was loud. I guess a problem I've sometimes had is volume and despite the mics I didn't wanna mumble. I thought it went okay though. Don't think I fumbled any lines or anything. I was merely a character setting up the story, but hey you're either opening or closing.
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Legend
19,310 POSTS & 19,612 LIKES
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Post by Ness on Aug 14, 2023 23:24:26 GMT
A Star is Born
It all came to a head for me right before Christmas break and we had an assignment to write up a monologue with the idea being sell yourself as the "Ruler of the World". Since I was not Sid and I thought it sounded better I changed mine (I was the only one) to be about being King of the World. I can't tell you verbatim what it was all about, but it mostly just Nessisms about things I'd do to make the world better. End the Land Before Time series, implement the 99 cent coin (doesn't make sense given taxes) and other random promises. Basically take your typical naiive student council president promise and turn it up to 11. Truthfully I didn't think much of it when planning it, just assumed it would be a typical Ness performance that's entertaining at the end but forgotten about by time the next person starts their project. This was different though... it felt like I was finally over for the first time in my life. Like you know when DIS BUSINESS says things like "got em!"? Yeah, it was like that. People were marking out, cheering each point... it was a fucking rally. So the plan was either all performances done in a day or it was split up into two with the voting happening on the second. I say that because I know I planned something on the off chance I won. Planned but kinda half assed because I wasn't confident enough I'd win. Despite my reaction I figure this other girl was gonna win just because she was so beloved. So beloved that I even had a line about her in my speech. One thing I will fully admit is I'm very Randy Savage in my performances. I do a lot of practicing. When I have prep time it usually goes well even if like 50% is completely forgotten as soon as I stand in front of people... improv is NOT my thing. I'm sure it's very evident by certain editions of PW News. So the voting happens on the day before Christmas Break. That was kind of the whole day in class really... pizza and the vote towards the end. I won. Not by a landslide or anything, it was still pretty much between just the two of us. I'd say I got about 65% of the vote. Still I didn't plan anything besides an individual spot on the off chance that I did win. So I go up front for my speech and I got nothing planned, but I figured all that will be remembered is what I do have planned if anything was gonna be. Pretty much just a case of being humble and bashful and wishing I had something planned and then pulling out a sheet of paper. Monster pop of course. It was just a blank folded sheet but I "read" off of it as if I had anything planned. Rambled for a bit and as we waiting by the door for the bell everyone pushed me out "early" because royalty and all that. Went to Christmas break and then it dawned on me. I reached a point of overness, I was finally confident in my ability on this small scale... but I'm a senior and so this is shortly gonna be coming to an end. My bubble was only this class afterall.
Come back from our break and our next assignment was a dialogue between two people, either act through a script or write your own. I wrote my own, but it didn't go over as well as the King Speech. It was still good I thought, especially for being self-made, but I heard talk in the class that they preferred another performance (a rendition of "who's on first") and thought it was a step down from what they were accustomed to seeing from me. Everyone's a critic I guess. Despite a lot of what I was doing merely being 50% impersonation 50% myself, people kept egging me on to get into the "game" and I never took it seriously. Mostly because one crucial aspect would fall flat on it's face if I wasn't in the same environment of my slack class that had accepted me... heckling. Any discouragement or roadblocks in my life generally has me quick to give up. Have a few successful open mic nights and get invited to the real deal? One bad set and I'm done forever. It's hard to get used to that because I only ever open myself up like that when I'm in a secure welcome setting. A theater stage with a mic could be pretty dangerous and far removed from that. Perhaps a school talent show could've been a potential break out moment, but one had already passed and graduation would be upon us soon. We continued as were and steam was picking up again. So much so that I believe I starting chatting up a classmate and trying to get her to go out with me. Probably more details in the relevant chapter, but her wishy washy ways of rejecting me without rejecting me was channeling that depression as high school was coming to end. Thing is the "good" was really only in drama. The rest of the periods I was just my normal quiet self... but as soon as I got to my desk in drama class, it's like a wrestler going through the curtain. I was "on". So much so that I was speaking up randomnly in class and I guess just becoming a class clown. I even had a rival in the class after becoming "king" because I guess it was his thing. It was our only class together so he didn't know that I was only this way in this class. Being goofy and funny may have been his normal natural self. I was simply taking what was working and turning it up for this class. This would become a formula for me later on in life. Back to my nemesis, in another world we might have been friends. If we put our minds together we could've done real good as a comedy duo I think. My actual friend in the class whenever we'd team up he was usually my straight man. Maybe that's why the other clown and I couldn't work out because all we'd do is try and one-up each other and gets pops. I dunno if I can consider it a victory, but at the end of the school year he did come to me and "admit" I was funnier. I don't know if that's true or not because if that was his legit self... mine was an act, his was his personality. But I'll take the W.
There was a few points in the class after breaking out that people really started putting me over. The teacher was a big one because I think I was the only one (maybe ever?) to get him to crack a smile. I think he voluntold me to get up front for some demonstration and I just made a random comment, may have been an old Chris Jericho line about being a sexy beast. Just so random and out there that he just cracked up. But I loved this class so much especially when I got to perform in front of people. I've often heard a lot of stand ups are miserable except when they're in front of the crowd. That was sorta the case here as well. It was the only setting where I felt I mattered. I was still hung up on her, dreading entering the next phase in life and ya know late teenage angst... but I looked forward to the class. I wanted to go to school and any day I wasn't able to in this last half of the year I wasn't happy because I knew I had a very limited time to keep this up. Not for nothing I a genie wish would've been to make it an endless loop. When they say high school is the bets time of your life... only this setting would qualify. I don't know if the "group" continued on into Drama III/IV, if they even existed but if I wasn't a senior I definitely would've signed up. It feels like a weird what if, especially if I needed to adapt to a new crowd. But it was soon time to hang it up for my retirement match. I pretty much no sold whatever the performance was supposed to be and just did a stand up routine disguised as a letter to someone as the assignment dictated. When I practiced it for the teacher he kinda gave me the side eye but let it go... guess he knew the deal. The way things usually went was during performance day people would slowly start going up at random doing theirs. Usually never had to call on anyone because the awkward wait would be enough incentive for someone to go up. For this one I think someone or a few people suggested I go up and without even thinking about it I used a Hedberg line (he was becoming a heavy influence with me after becoming king) saying that "two people isn't gonna convince me" and a good chunk of them started making noise about it so I guess it was my turn. Since it was my final "match" for the class I wasn't trying to go early... but fuck dude how could you not go up? It's the last time you're gonna hear... glass shatters. So I did it and not to brag or anything, it wasn't as emotionally driven as my breakout... but there was a lot of back and forth interactions with the class as I did it. Like in a weird way... did they know? Was there an energy in the arena that night? When I wrapped it up about 10 minutes in as I was absorbing the last reactions I could get the teacher threw me a bone here. Maybe it was the plan all along or maybe after hearing my friend hype it up as my last one due to graduation, he basically gave me the floor when he said "what else you got?" and I just took it from there and starting an encore of random shit. I was going on a bit long and ended without him needing to lean on me. Probably could've continued if I wanted. I dunno if I could've done more or if it was like Mania going 2 days and I was simply the closing act for night one... but I felt relieved and satisfied with what I accomplished. Even if this was it (and in a lot of ways it was) I could at least say in this vacuum... I made it.
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