We did this thread once before but it must have been on the old PW because I couldn't find it on this one to give it a bump. Then again the search function here sucks so who knows? Anyway, 🤯 accurately describing Brutus Beefcake as the GOAT ring name in another thread inspired me to recycle this oldie but goodie right here on new PW.

Most of my favorite ring names use alliteration. Just another thing Vince was right about. Here are my Top 5...

Top 5 Ring Names

Brutus Beefcake- Brutus is a great name that I frankly think needs to make a comeback among human beings while Beefcake is just a tremendous wrestling surname. My brother and I didn't know what a Beefcake was back in 1987. We thought it was a literal cake of beef which just made it even better. This has been my favorite ring name for as long as I can remember. Probably going all the way back to first hearing it in 1987.

Ravishing Rick Rude- Suggested by Gyro LC Hard to argue against it being at least a contender. It has triple alliteration. It accurate describes the man bearing the moniker as both ravishing and rude. 

Razor Ramon- Alliteration and it just sounds badass.

Bam Bam Bigelow- More of that sweet triple alliteration goodness.

Randy "Macho Man" Savage- Only one in what I consider the ring name cream of the crop not to use alliteration. This makes it unique just like the man who bears the name. He is both a macho man and a savage. 

Worst Ring Name

El Generico- I'm not even going bother with other contenders because I can't think of another ring name in the same ballpark of suck. Not gonna lie. This dude's ring name prejudiced me against him before I ever saw him wrestle a match. It's like you can do all the turnbuckle brainbusters you want and you're still gonna suck because your name is El Generico. 

*Last time we did this some other posters chimed in with some funny posts like young Pete's take on New Jack so hopefully we'll get some of that.

Worst

Bubbles

Sorry 🤯

Aug 28, 2022 21:59:38 GMT @ness said:

Worst

Bubbles

Sorry 🤯

Bubbles is definitely bad. Just not El Generico bad. Maybe I'd feel differently if I ever watched that show System & 🤯 were talking about last night. I did look up Bubbles from that show and he certainly had an interesting look to say the least.

I won't fully agree with Generico, but it's amazing how much he showed range after taking off the mask which I assume most were against. Such a great talker, though he's part of modern wrestling so he's mostly dead to me. Then again he's basically part of the "old guard" these days which is insane to think about.

Dash Wilder was an awful name. Was he named after the kid from The Incredibles?!

Bray Wyatt is absolutely terrible too (the name and the actual wrestler). Why would you want to be named after the sound donkeys make?

Worst
Orange Cassady
The Miz
Miro
Shorty G
Big E


Best
King Kong Bundy
Bruiser Brody
Tommy Dreamer
Gorilla Monsoon
Killer Kowalski

I always liked those terms that signal destruction

THE STRANGLER
BRUISER
CRUSHER

It feels like it belongs on an old era where you just didn't feel 100% safe in the arena with these guys. Something I can agree with Cornette about the kayfabe aspect. Maybe that's why Brock worked so well. NCAA to start and then a weird MMA stint just gave that vibe again.

Hulk Hogan needs mentioned. Great ring name. Probably honestly #2 to Brutus Beefcake. Alliteration, check. Hulk nearly matches Beefcake is pro-rasslery-ness. Hogan sounds as strong and gruff as a surname as Brutus does as a first name. Good shit, pal.

Sterling Golden wasn't bad either though.

Sgt. Slaughter & Razor Ramon are probably right there behind Hogan.

Good calls on Hulk Hogan, King Kong Bundy, Bruiser Brody, and Sgt. Slaughter. Hulk Hogan has become so ingrained that it's easy to overlook what a great ring name it is. Didn't think of it myself until an hour or two after starting this thread when it popped into my head as I was busy doing other things.

One Man Gang is another great ring name deserving of some love. Always thought that was a badass name. Pretty sure it would have been my brother's #2 after Beefcake.

On the flip side Bastion Booger is alliteration gone wrong....the anti Brutus Beefcake.

Aug 28, 2022 22:02:25 GMT Baker said:

Aug 28, 2022 21:59:38 GMT @ness said:

Worst

Bubbles

Sorry 🤯

Bubbles is definitely bad. Just not El Generico bad. Maybe I'd feel differently if I ever watched that show System & 🤯 were talking about last night. I did look up Bubbles from that show and he certainly had an interesting look to say the least.

I always assumed his gimmick was meant to be similar to Eugene’s, not necessarily special needs but a happy child like figure. He was over with the kids because he’d come out with a bubble gun/blow bubbles but obviously that gimmick has a mid-card ceiling.

Instead he got upset promoter wouldn’t allow him to use the Mortal Kombat music (rightfully told him to use upbeat music about Bubbles) and wasn’t booked in main events.

Didn’t think it was a bad name if he was actually going for aforementioned gimmick.

Best Names

Mordecai - Such an awesome name that it was my online username for a long time before it entered the internet mainstream by being a character in the video game Borderlands, among other things.

Stone Cold Steve Austin - Stone Cold is a great nickname by itself for any wrestler, but the way it flows with the bland name Steve Austin somehow makes it even better.

Roman Reigns - Alliteration. Rolls off the tongue. Unremarkable first name by itself, but pair it with "Reigns" and, at least for me, images come to mind of the mighty Roman empire ruling the world, or a Roman Emperor. These things are epic.

The Giant / Andre The Giant - Simple but effective. You don't even need to know or have seen the wrestler to know it will be an exciting experience to watch.

Rob Van Dam - Just sounds really cool, and has the obvious tie in to Jean Claude Van Damme.

Chris Jericho - Another one that sounds really cool. Bonus points for being named after a Helloween album.


Worst Names

Pentagon - A two-dimensional shape is not a good name for a wrestler. Maybe he should form a geometry faction with Square, Circle and Triangle. Funnily enough, he is actually in a three-person stable called Death Triangle, which is inexplicably a really good faction name. I Googled Pentagon and discovered that the gimmick was spawned as an evil version of the wrestler Octagon, which is another worst name contender, although the connection to the UFC Octagon makes it slightly better.

The Big Show - Think about it - what does Big Show even mean? Is he like a human manifestation of a Beyonce concert? Shit name. even Paul Wight is better.

EVIL - While I appreciate the sentiment, the name is too on-the-nose to be anything but a really cheesy attempt to name a villain. It's only a step or two ahead of naming yourself "Bad Guy". Decent enough nickname, but a bad wrestling name. Not to mention that EVIL is not particularly evil. To be fair, he did go the whole hog and looked the part.



But once he stepped in the ring he became a generic strong style bruiser, and not a particularly good one. What's evil about that? He doesn't have that image anymore, instead he just cheats an awful lot, which is closer to ASSHOLE than EVIL.

Maybe I'm being unfair in not considering the target audience. I know stylised English words are cool in Japan, so it probably works wonders for the Japanese audience. Treating it like an American wrestling name is kinda missing the point. But it was a fun rant.

Yeah, the best wrestling name is "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Every version of it is great. Randy "Macho Man" Savage, "Macho Man" standalone, "The Macho Man" standalone, Randy Savage standalone. "Macho Man" Savage.

While Bret Hart is just a name and doesn't stand out, Bret "Hit Man" Hart is a great wrestling name. Like Macho, the different forms all work. Bret "The Hit Man" Hart, "The Hit Man" Bret Hart, "Hit Man" Bret Hart, "Hit Man" Hart.

Jake "The Snake" Roberts is a classic.

The Ultimate Warrior is pretty fucking great. As is Ultimo Dragon.

The Iron Sheik is fantastic. Never really thought about it, but that's a class pro wrestling name.

An obvious one really, but The Undertaker is up there. Cain the Undertaker was cool if they had stuck with it, but just The Undertaker is better.

"Diamond" Dallas Page rolls off the tongue nicely.

Steve Williams is whatever, but "Dr. Death" is elite.

I dig "Big" Van Vader. Did anyone ever call him Van in a promo?

Aug 28, 2022 21:45:31 GMT Baker said:

Razor Ramon- Alliteration and it just sounds badass.

In kayfabe, what is Ramon's forename meant to be? Clearly "Razor" is a nickname. Or is Ramon his first name and his surname is Sanchez or something? Maybe he was "Razor" Ramon Ramirez?

What is "King Kong" Bundy's first name in kayfabe? We just going to go with his real name? "King Kong" Christopher Bundy?

Aug 29, 2022 1:24:39 GMT @ness said:

I always liked those terms that signal destruction

THE STRANGLER
BRUISER
CRUSHER

Great shouts.

Strangler Lewis, Dick the Bruiser, The Crusher, The Destroyer, Killer Kowalski (as mentioned by Shootist ). I'd say I prefer Killer Khan to Kowalski as far as names go.

Demolition don't quite fit in there, but it is a great tag team name.

Abdullah the Butcher is another brilliant name.

The Mongolian Stomper is cool, but not quite on the level of those others.

Aug 29, 2022 9:12:16 GMT Emperor said:

The Big Show - Think about it - what does Big Show even mean? Is he like a human manifestation of a Beyonce concert? Shit name. even Paul Wight is better.

Agreed, absolutely awful. They could've just stuck with Paul Wight no problem. He was "Big Nasty" Paul Wight for a short while before they went with Big Show.

Aug 29, 2022 19:10:25 GMT Strobe said:

An obvious one really, but The Undertaker is up there. Cain the Undertaker was cool if they had stuck with it, but just The Undertaker is better.

I thought of The Undertaker, but that's more of a case of the wrestler making the name than the name being great in itself.

It's thanks to Mark Calloway's portrayal that the word "undertaker" makes everyone think of a supernatural badass zombie wrestler. But without that, undertaker is a relatively mundane job, the only "cool" thing is the connection to funerals.

Imagine if a wrestler debuted tomorrow called "The Mortician". You'd think it was a shit, hokey name, right? I bet that's what people felt when they learnt that "The Undertaker" was debuting. Or I could be way off base.

Aug 29, 2022 19:10:25 GMT Strobe said:

Strangler Lewis, Dick the Bruiser, The Crusher, The Destroyer, Killer Kowalski (as mentioned by Shootist). I'd say I prefer Killer Khan to Kowalski as far as names go.

I remember a post on the old PW where Dick the Bruiser was referred to jokingly as Bruised Dick. One of the hardest laughs I've had reading PW.

Aug 29, 2022 19:26:22 GMT Emperor said:

Aug 29, 2022 19:10:25 GMT Strobe said:

An obvious one really, but The Undertaker is up there. Cain the Undertaker was cool if they had stuck with it, but just The Undertaker is better.

I thought of The Undertaker, but that's more of a case of the wrestler making the name than the name being great in itself.

It's thanks to Mark Calloway's portrayal that the word "undertaker" makes everyone think of a supernatural badass zombie wrestler. But without that, undertaker is a relatively mundane job, the only "cool" thing is the connection to funerals.

Imagine if a wrestler debuted tomorrow called "The Mortician". You'd think it was a shit, hokey name, right? I bet that's what people felt when they learnt that "The Undertaker" was debuting. Or I could be way off base.

Personally disagree. At least in American pop culture, the Gravedigger monster truck was super over during childhood and Undertaker was so in that same vein it even still today pisses me off that the WWF never attempted a cross-promotion deal.

Undertaker, Yokozuna, Tatanka, Umaga, and Rikishi are among the elite of single word ring names.

Aug 29, 2022 19:26:22 GMT Emperor said:

Aug 29, 2022 19:10:25 GMT Strobe said:

An obvious one really, but The Undertaker is up there. Cain the Undertaker was cool if they had stuck with it, but just The Undertaker is better.

I thought of The Undertaker, but that's more of a case of the wrestler making the name than the name being great in itself.

It's thanks to Mark Calloway's portrayal that the word "undertaker" makes everyone think of a supernatural badass zombie wrestler. But without that, undertaker is a relatively mundane job, the only "cool" thing is the connection to funerals.

Imagine if a wrestler debuted tomorrow called "The Mortician". You'd think it was a shit, hokey name, right? I bet that's what people felt when they learnt that "The Undertaker" was debuting. Or I could be way off base.

You might be right. It is tough to break the connection and view it as a standalone name. I don't know what my thoughts would be if that gimmick had never existed and a wrestler debuted with that name today.

But the connection with funerals, death, putting people under the ground is what makes it cool as a wrestling name. And it is just a cooler word than mortician.

---------------------

The Warlord, The Barbarian and The Berzerker are all cool, The Warlord especially so. I may actually prefer Berzerker's old name Nord the Barbarian over just The Barbarian.

Mil Mascaras (man of a thousand masks) and Mil Muertes (man of a thousand deaths) are top notch.

Kevin Thorn was another crap one. A vampire called Kevin?!

Aug 29, 2022 20:34:59 GMT @aaron said:

Kevin Thorn was another crap one. A vampire called Kevin?!

Mordecai would've been a great 1-name gimmick. Coulda done a crossover with Regular Show.

Kelly Kelly is one of the best ring names ever.

Aug 31, 2022 23:50:46 GMT kingoftheworld said:

Kelly Kelly is one of the worst ring names ever.

Fixed it for ya. What makes it even worse is her shoot name of Barbie Blank would have been perfect for her character.
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While not in my top tier, I agree with the poster who mentioned Chris Jericho as a cool name. Jericho is just a cool word with the ideal mix of vowels and consonants. Same goes for (2 Cold) Scorpio.
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Might be out on a limb by myself here, but I never cared much for those simple old school rassler names like The Bruiser, The Crusher, etc. It's just so....basic. Like those are the names every 6 year old watching wrestling for the first time would come up with for themselves. Though I will concede it worked for the smoke-filled arena era before pants.
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Never liked Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard much as names because I never heard anyone else called Arn or Tully. Can't help thinking the IWC would be making a bunch of "lol WWE name generator" jokes if they gave two wrestlers those names today.
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Kilgore and I have had a laugh at Tommy Dreamer's name more than once. "Tommy Dreamboat is too soft. Tommy Nightmare is too hard. Tommy Dreamer! Ooh yeah! That hits the sweet spot." Nah. Still sawft. 
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All those intentionally stupid CHIKARA names can go kick rocks. Sorry not sorry @ness . Los Ice Creams, Proletariat Boar of Moldova, Latvian Proud Oak, every single stupid Ant, and the dozens of other zany names can gtfo. It pains me to agree with Cry More Punk on anything, but he was right about CHIKARA being a bunch of dweebs.

I just thought of a makeshift LJN fed tag team of Big John Studd and Brutus Beefcake, their gimmick writes itself, lol. Big John Studd has always been a great name to me.

Big fan of Arn Anderson, just sounds like a bad ass while Tully does sound like a good first name for the "spoiled brat of wrestling." In my real early days of watching NWA at my Aunt's house I also associated Tully with Telly Monster from Sesame Street.

Speaking of Undertaker, "Mean" Mark Callous is a classic. Lex Luger is another great alliteration. In the Luger bio he said he was inspired by both Lex Luthor and Magnum PI to come up with the name. Despite the obvious rip-off, Magnum TA is also a great name.

"Hacksaw" Butch Reed and "Mad Dog" Buzz Sawyer have the double whammy of great nickname with an intimidating first name.

Pretty much any Vince shortened names suck. Along with the ones I mentioned already (Shorty G, Big E) Cesaro, Riddle etc.

Seth "Freakin" Rollins, "The Real" Daniel Bryan, THE Brian Kendrick also blew/blow.

I can't tell which name is better... Big John Studd or King Kong Bundy?

Both have pros and cons. Too bad they never crossbred; "King Kong" Studd Bundy would've had only pros as an awesome ring name.

Kelly Kelly and Killer Kelly should be a tag team.

Agree with you guys on Big John Studd being a great ring name. My phone always autocorrecting to Big John Stuff is also great! The Beefcake Studds tag team is also also great. King Kong Bundy vs. Big John Studd in a name game would be like picking between your children so I shall refrain.

Shootist just the other day I realized Buzz Sawyer has buzzsaw hidden his name. That's pretty cool and I am pretty dumb.

@aaron Kevin is a weirdly popular name for spooky wrestling characters. In addition to Thorn there was Cult Leader Kevin Sullivan.

Sept 2, 2022 21:58:19 GMT Baker said:

@aaron Kevin is a weirdly popular name for spooky wrestling characters. In addition to Thorn there was Cult Leader Kevin Sullivan.

I can only assume nobody in wrestling has ever watched Home Alone, otherwise they'd realise it's one of the least intimidating names ever!

But then again, that kid was pretty much a deathmatch guy so maybe the name is appropriate after all.

How'd we get this far without anybody mentioning Dolph Ziggler as one of the worst ring names?

Sept 3, 2022 1:32:29 GMT Baker said:

How'd we get this far without anybody mentioning Dolph Ziggler as one of the worst ring names?

Clearly started with Dirk Diggler and worked backwards. 

Dolph rocks as a first name. Feel like he was real close to a great name, but dropped the ball with Ziggler. 

Sept 3, 2022 2:42:22 GMT Kilgore said:

Sept 3, 2022 1:32:29 GMT Baker said:

How'd we get this far without anybody mentioning Dolph Ziggler as one of the worst ring names?

Clearly started with Dirk Diggler and worked backwards. 

Dolph rocks as a first name. Feel like he was real close to a great name, but dropped the ball with Ziggler. 

Should've gone all in on Dolph Finn.

🐬

Baker & I are about to throw hands. I'm not seeing all Chikara ring names were amazing but they fit the characters well. Lucha hate! :lol:  Dudrop is by far the WORST!

Justin Credible is perhaps the best worst name ever.

Dick Togo is my 'best worst names' guy.

That era of FCW where they'd use a random name generator to spit out a wrestling name. Michael McGillicutty, Derrick Bateman etc. stand out as awful names. Dolph Ziggler was a handicap poor Nick Nemeth (the most natural Pro Wrestling name since Feral Fergus Ferguson) couldn't get over and Kenny Dykestra who may as well have called himself Ken Gaylord.

ECW has also had some groaners. The aforementioned Justin Credible then guys like EZ Money, Dick Hertz, Chilly Willy, Skull Von Crush etc. I always thought Tommy Dreamer didn't quite clear that barrier between porno name and wrestling name either. It wasn't all bad, I thought names like Taz, Raven, Sandman, Sabu, 2 Cold Scorpio, Rob Van Dam are strong marquee names but that always stuck out to me that the cool alternative to WCW/WWF had all these joke names. When I was younger I'd throw New Jack in there as well, because heard of the Wesley Snipes movie and like a dumb kid thought 'hurr durr is Old Jack his manager?' You live, you learn and New Jack is a good name.

What about wrestling moves? I was listening to a Cornette clip and it reminded me that the Slice Bread #2 maybe the worst name. I think the WWF tried to give it a run when they renamed it the Dudley Dog which sounded so corny. If there is one thing about AEW that irks me is that TOPE SUICIDA! It's actually not a bad name, but everyone does it in every single match and it's way worse than the CRASH AND BURN! from ROH circa 2015 (Bake knows what I'm talking about). In fact, AEW's infatuation of calling every single move drives home just how dumb some of these names are and poor Excalibur has to call them with the same professionalism and exuberance like it's a Wrestlemania call.