Maps to the Stars: Bleh. Nothing interesting happens...ever. Just a slog. D-, would be an F but the cast was decent enough.

A Cure for Wellness: Okay film, not great, not terrible...just there. C

Cooties: Fun/funny little zombie flick, not one I'd return to often, like say, Zombieland, but entertaining enough with a solid cast. B-

Sept 9, 2019 13:10:38 GMT UT said:

...as without said success I don't know that Hader , Chastain and McAvoy sign on - so it opened doors in that respect too. 

Holy shit McAvoy is in it!? Now I want to watch it. The original gave me nightmares for months when I was little but I had zero interest in this reboot, as with most horror movies. It must be pretty decent if it has McAvoy though.

This is an incredibly conflicting situation. My wife is obsessed with McAvoy, insists to watch all of his movies, and thinks he is the most handsome actor of all time. The problem is she is also deathly afraid of clowns. Like as in she literally screams if she sees one and runs away.

This is like the unstoppable force meets the immovable object.

Glass (2019)

I was surprised to read that this movie was heavily criticised because I thought it was a fantastic conclusion to M. Night Shlamayamablabla's unorthodox and gritty superhero universe, the foundations of which were established in Unbreakable (released nearly 20 years ago!) and Split.

The plot brings all the major players and story arcs together and wraps everything up in a nice little bow. This is the first time McAvoy's "horde" character has interacted with either Glass or Dunn, and these were very well executed indeed. The fights between The Beast and Dunn are standout examples of the unstoppable force meets the immovable (Unbreakable?) object trope.

However I did feel the film was a little bit self-indulgent, particularly the final scenes following the action-packed climax. Had it ended 15 minutes earlier, I doubt this paragraph would have been typed, but those 15 minutes smelled of "look how clever I am" and stamped on a rather sudden global implication to the plot which I felt was unnecessary. The trilogy would have been better concluded in the local geographical scope of Glass/Dunn/Kevin.

The acting is phenomenal. McAvoy may have outdone his standout performance in Split, Willis excels as the quiet, guarded superhero, and Jackson is great in a role a little outside of his comfort zone.


Aladdin (2019)

It does enough to set itself apart from the Disney animation while remaining faithful, and provides a good nostalgia kick, but isn't anything worth going out of your way to watch.

I felt this way about Jungle Book, and will probably feel the same about the legion of animated remakes that are popping up, and I'm beginning to wonder if I should bother with the rest.

Unsurprisingly, Will Smith nails the genie. More unexpected is Naomi Scott, who equally nails Jasmine, especially notable considering she is a much stronger, deeper, and more prominent character compared to the original. Hats off to her. Perhaps this point alone is enough to boost my rating over the dismissive half-marks review in my first paragraph.

So well done, I guess.

I loved Glass Emperor so I was surprised to see it in a lot of worst films of the year (so far) lists.

The showing I went to was full of parents with young children who almost all walked out early on....I’m guessing they thought it was a standard superhero film from the poster.

As a huge detractor of M. Night, he nailed twisting a surprise sequel into a perfectly rounded off trilogy, thought Glass was masterful, and felt the ending was exactly what it needed to be. Yeah, it could have been crushing, ending on the despair that it was all for nothing, but these are ultimately a comic book movies at their core...the villains were destined to suffer some loss.

Booksmart. Fucking GREAT.

I just watched this again because I was still in absolute disbelief over how bad it was. I had to confirm if it was real or not. It was even worse the second time. The absolute worst X-Men movie of them all by a considerable amount. Still.

Dark Phoenix is the Dark Knight compared to Origins, that movie couldn't even get the easiest VFX right.

Movie I've seen several times but I have to share a little moment I had.

Watched The Avengers the other day. My son has become obsessed with them over the past year or so. He was Iron Man for Halloween last year, he's being Hulk this year, he has all the action figures and plays with them all the time, he watches me play Spider-Man on PS4 and loves every second... but he never had the attention span to watch any of the movies until now.

We were playing with his action figures in the living room and I decided to give it a shot. Threw The Avengers on Netflix and while he still wandered off during the long dialogue scenes, he was all hands on deck for the action shots. Then the battle for New York happened, and when they all assembled and the camera panned around and the music played, I heard him just let out a small "whoa..." from the couch.

I damn well nearly cried, man. It was beautiful.

I think we'll give Age of Ultron a shot this weekend. Or maybe the Iron Man series, since that's his favourite character.

I don’t know why I keep watching this movie but, I assure you, you haven’t seen bad until you’ve watched this crap three times in a row. The absolute worst X-Men movie of them all by a considerable amount.

No X-Men movie is as bad as X-Men Origins: Wolverine, not even X3: The Last Stand.

The Banana Splits Movie:
While it does use characters from the 1968 Banana Splits lt’a derivative from Five Night’s At Freddy’s with a few changes.
Like Brightburn & Axiom Verge, it’s very obvious what the influence is, and the FNAF movie is in development hell so this discount brand film will have to do. The FNAF movie will probably be like the Slenderman movie when it comes out, M (PG-13) and long after the trend has gone.

Anyway back to The Banana Splits Movie, it’s a straight to DVD movie so the performances aren’t great but holy shit the kills were awesome in this, almost saw levels of gruesome.

It does a good job of building the suspense and nothing gory happens until halfway into the film so I can imagine some little kid flicking through TV and seeing this on the SyFy channel and sitting down to watch it only to be traumatised later 😂. (If little kids still watched tv and not iPads)

Edit: turns out the script is a turned down FNAF script 😂

I just watched Halloween 2018 and man that shit was dope! It’s Halloween spirit time and this movie delivered. I’m pumped up for the next one even though I have already seen so many of them.

Sept 18, 2019 2:38:59 GMT KING KID said:

I just watched Halloween 2018 and man that shit was dope! It’s Halloween spirit time and this movie delivered. I’m pumped up for the next one even though I have already seen so many of them.

Such a great movie, probably my favourite Halloween film. Bias as it’s the only one I got to see in cinemas 😂

Only pity about Halloween 2018, is they'll probably now milk the new timeline...when it would have been perfect as a 2 movie timeline where Michael dies at the end.

Sept 18, 2019 5:48:17 GMT RagnarokMike said:

Only pity about Halloween 2018, is they'll probably now milk the new timeline...when it would have been perfect as a 2 movie timeline where Michael dies at the end.

They could just make a 3rd film that has nothing to do with Michael Myers...

Sept 18, 2019 0:19:22 GMT Lionheart said:

I don’t know why I keep watching this movie but, I assure you, you haven’t seen bad until you’ve watched this crap three times in a row. The absolute worst X-Men movie of them all by a considerable amount.

I love that you just keep rewatching this.

I think this should be the only movie you watch for the rest of time.

And then post a fresh new review each time.

Good gimmick for The Pseudo Intellectual Generic Freak. Pushing you to the moon, kid!

Rambo: Last Blood-It was an alright action flick, part 4 was a much better conclusion I felt, this felt closer to Taken than Rambo until the final act, worst of the series for me...but, the climax is still fucking dick hammeringly brutal and I enjoyed the movie for the most part.

Sept 18, 2019 0:39:51 GMT Lony said:

No X-Men movie is as bad as X-Men Origins: Wolverine, not even X3: The Last Stand.

I went back and watched this just to make sure and confirm if it were possible that it really was worse than Dark Phoenix. It was not. Maybe it's just that my taste is off from watching Dark Phoenix so many times, but Origins Wolverine felt like I was watching a masterpiece. Dark Phoenix is still the absolute worst X-Men movie of them all by a considerable amount.

Sept 21, 2019 23:01:28 GMT Lionheart said:

Sept 18, 2019 0:39:51 GMT Lony said:

No X-Men movie is as bad as X-Men Origins: Wolverine, not even X3: The Last Stand.

I went back and watched this just to make sure and confirm if it were possible that it really was worse than Dark Phoenix. It was not. Maybe it's just that my taste is off from watching Dark Phoenix so many times, but Origins Wolverine felt like I was watching a masterpiece. Dark Phoenix is still the absolute worst X-Men movie of them all by a considerable amount.

Think you need to watch and review Dark Phoenix one more time though just to be sure.

Good Boys: One of the funniest films i’ve ever seen.

Ad Astra: Amazing cinematography, very interesting concepts explored but still a point A to point B story that’s dressed up really well.

Bumblebee

I hated the Transformer movies with a passion. But this is a lot better than expected. I loved the 80's setting, and for parts of it, it actually felt like an 80's movie ( the suburban setting, the outcast teenage ) I loved the fact, the Transformers looked like the classic Transformers and not the awful visual atrocity that Michael Bay unleashed on the world. Hailee Steinfeld is good in pretty much everything she does. While John Cena is awful. 

Worth a view. 

Caught "A Quiet Place," solid film, I wasn't quite as enamored by it as something extraordinary like it was hyped, in fact I think pretty much everything in it had been more or less done before, but it was fairly entertaining start to finish. One thing:

SPOILER: Click to show

It was clearly public knowledge that they worked off of sound, as it was in news paper headlines, and nobody else thought to try attacking them with extreme frequencies? That world has the worst scientists, that's like, the most obvious step once you learn of their super hearing. Has Lex Luthor taught people nothing?

X-Men Origins is Godfather, Citizen Kane, Gone With the Wind, and Saving Private Ryan rolled into one compared to the dumpster fire of shit that was Dark Phoenix.

Sept 30, 2019 8:13:36 GMT RagnarokMike said:

Caught "A Quiet Place," solid film, I wasn't quite as enamored by it as something extraordinary like it was hyped, in fact I think pretty much everything in it had been more or less done before, but it was fairly entertaining start to finish. One thing:

SPOILER: Click to show

It was clearly public knowledge that they worked off of sound, as it was in news paper headlines, and nobody else thought to try attacking them with extreme frequencies? That world has the worst scientists, that's like, the most obvious step once you learn of their super hearing. Has Lex Luthor taught people nothing?

They've got the same scientists from Signs, on both the human and alien side, who never realized water was kryptonite.

Sept 30, 2019 10:34:01 GMT KJ said:

X-Men Origins is Godfather, Citizen Kane, Gone With the Wind, and Saving Private Ryan rolled into one compared to the dumpster fire of shit that was Dark Phoenix.

Lionheart, is that you?!

Joker: A masterpiece, I hope Joaquin Phoenix is nominated for an Oscar. So much dark humour in this that no one but sandylea and I laughed at.

Then again everyone else in the cinema looked 12 despite it being restricted MA15+, no one else laughing at the Clinton era cigar joke in the Zombieland trailer should have been my first clue.

SPOILER: Click to show

I’m glad they didn’t go through with him being Thomas Wayne’s son though

Rocko’s Modern Life: Static Cling
They really put left wing propaganda in a fucking 90’s cartoon revival and just made it a PSA about accepting transgender people and change. 0/10

Joker was fucking brilliant, even with as great of a catalog of performances as Joaquin Phoenix has, probably his finest. I don't see how he doesn't get nominated, but the movie as well should be nominated for best picture. If Black Panther can get a nod, absolutely no reason Joker shouldn't.

Also, Rocko was always a liberal show, fit perfectly within the realm of the series, with a character who always acted uncomfortable in their skin.

Joker was amazing. A little uncomfortable with the incel shooting hysteria complete with the theater having an armed guard, but whatever.

Oct 6, 2019 22:36:31 GMT @ness said:

Joker was amazing. A little uncomfortable with the incel shooting hysteria complete with the theater having an armed guard, but whatever.

I read a girls tweet who was made to clean her make up off because she had eyeliner/lipstick on and had to explain her hair is permanently dyed green. Many people said no facepaint/masks were allowed in their theatre at all..one guy said he got in trouble because he let someone dressed as Pennywise into IT 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Glad there’s none of that hysteria here.

Oct 7, 2019 0:29:30 GMT System said:

Oct 6, 2019 22:36:31 GMT @ness said:

Joker was amazing. A little uncomfortable with the incel shooting hysteria complete with the theater having an armed guard, but whatever.

I read a girls tweet who was made to clean her make up off because she had eyeliner/lipstick on and had to explain her hair is permanently dyed green. Many people said no facepaint/masks were allowed in their theatre at all..one guy said he got in trouble because he let someone dressed as Pennywise into IT 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Glad there’s none of that hysteria here.

Yeah they had some signs on the front door saying no make-up or masks. Clearly Marvel Media Bias as I'm sure the same rule wasn't in place for End Game...

The cop looked like he was falling asleep, so if someone wanted to do something I'm sure it wouldn't have been that much of a struggle.

I saw some stuff online about "no single viewer entry" and while that seems to have been made up (I usually go solo) considering the above stuff I wouldn't have been surprised if that was the case. What did people think was gonna happen... some dude gonna show up doing the Joker dance to Pumped Up Kicks?

Loved it all the way through. I was kinda bored throughout It 2, so I'm glad to have a film I didn't continuously watch the clock for.