Top 10 Fictional Athletes 

 10. The Hanson Brothers

 09. Dottie Hinson

 08. Crash Davis 

07. Roy Hobbs 

06. Ivan Drago

05. Rickey Vaughn 

04. Shane Falco

03. Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez

02. Happy Gilmore 

 01. 

OMG Sunshine! Loved him.

10. The Hanson Brothers 

Movie 

Slap Shot 

Portrayed By

Jeff Carlson (Jeff Hanson)

Steve Carlson (Steve Hanson)

David Hanson (Jack Hanson)

Positions 

Right Wing - Jeff (#18)

Center - Steve (#17)

Left Wing - Jack (#16)

Accolades 

- 2015 Inductee into Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame

 

I didn't vote for them , I've heard of them and know this is where the Dudley Boys got their inspiration in ECW but that's about as far as my knowledge goes.

May 3, 2020 13:58:30 GMT UT said:

I didn't vote for them , I've heard of them and know this is where the Dudley Boys got their inspiration in ECW but that's about as far as my knowledge goes.

I'M LISTENING TO THE FUCKING SONG!



UT, have you never seen Slap Shot? Hanson Bros are my fave characters/part of the movie. Glad to see they made the overall cut!

Nope never seen it 🤯 , it's never been real high on my list either. Perhaps I'll get to it one day as it does look pretty solid.

May 3, 2020 14:21:01 GMT UT said:

Nope never seen it 🤯 , it's never been real high on my list either. Perhaps I'll get to it one day as it does look pretty solid.

Honestly, it was never really high on my list either. And then one day, after yet another buddy casually drops a reference to it, I finally cracked. Watched it. Despite at the time not being very into hockey. Ended up digging it. It competes with Mighty Ducks for me now.

Thinking on it, favorite hockey movies... my list probably goes something like: Might Ducks 1, Slap Shot, Mighty Ducks 2, Miracle, Might Ducks 3... Mystery, Alaska... uhhh, are there any more hockey movies?

May 3, 2020 14:37:32 GMT 🤯 said:

May 3, 2020 14:21:01 GMT UT said:

Nope never seen it 🤯 , it's never been real high on my list either. Perhaps I'll get to it one day as it does look pretty solid.

Honestly, it was never really high on my list either. And then one day, after yet another buddy casually drops a reference to it, I finally cracked. Watched it. Despite at the time not being very into hockey. Ended up digging it. It competes with Mighty Ducks for me now.

Thinking on it, favorite hockey movies... my list probably goes something like: Might Ducks 1, Slap Shot, Mighty Ducks 2, Miracle, Might Ducks 3... Mystery, Alaska... uhhh, are there any more hockey movies?

I'm glad you put Miracle in there, I would have questioned your sanity if you didn't

Anyway I had the Hanson Brothers at #6.   Slapshot is my 2nd favorite hockey movie ever right behind Miracle and the Hanson Brothers  were easily the best part of the film.  

This movie is right up your alley UT even if you aren't much of a hockey fan.  I'm not either and I completely enjoyed it.    

I had the Hansons right at #10. There are some slow parts to Slap Shot, but it's really a great movie. 🤯 , you forgot Youngblood, both Goon movies are fun, but don't see any of the Slap Shot sequels.

I never seen Slapshot so obviously they weren’t on my list. I am intrigued to watch it after reading here that the Dudley Boyz got their ideas/persona from these guys.

The Dudley Boyz took the taped up wide frame glasses and wore them during their entrance. That’s literally all they did.

I didn’t vote for the Hansons. They make a top 20 list I guess but meh. I’m like the only Canadian that didn’t like Slapshot very much. I thought it was kinda dumb.

May 3, 2020 17:36:20 GMT RT said:

The Dudley Boyz took the taped up wide frame glasses and wore them during their entrance. That’s literally all they did.

I didn’t vote for the Hansons. They make a top 20 list I guess but meh. I’m like the only Canadian that didn’t like Slapshot very much. I thought it was kinda dumb.

Does this amount to treason?

May 3, 2020 18:03:22 GMT 🤯 said:

May 3, 2020 17:36:20 GMT RT said:

The Dudley Boyz took the taped up wide frame glasses and wore them during their entrance. That’s literally all they did.

I didn’t vote for the Hansons. They make a top 20 list I guess but meh. I’m like the only Canadian that didn’t like Slapshot very much. I thought it was kinda dumb.

Does this amount to treason?

Yes

That being said I didn't rank the Hansons  either but went with a different character. Since he probably won't make it here is a sample of the brilliant Paul Newman as Reg Dunlop, the glue to the entire movie.



THEY BROUGHT THEIR FUCKIN' TOYS WITH THEM!!!!

I voted Reg, much higher...hold your horses.

I thought about the Hanson Brothers after consulting some online lists due to being in need of help. But they ultimately failed to make my list. Maybe Top 25. Anyway, I only saw Slap Shot once and of course I've got a damn story for that...

My friends (the Three Brothers who often pop in my wrestling stories) dad randomly calls my house one afternoon in the mid-late 90s...

"Baker, you ever seen Slap Shot?"
Me: You mean like in hockey?
Him: Sort of. It's a movie starring Paul Newman. I guess you've never seen it? Aww man. You don't know what you're missing. It's my favorite movie of all time. Fucking hilarious. Wanna come over and watch it with me?
Me:...I guess.

So I go to watch Slap Shot with my friend's dad. That's it. Just us. Neither his wife nor his three sons were home. Just the two of us, sitting in his basement, watching Slap Shot. Nothing untoward happened. It was about as wholesome as an R Rated movie experience with just you and your friends' father can be. He just sat there gulping down can after can of his trademark Milwaukee's Best while laughing his ass off. I guess it must have been a rental rather than on cable because I remember lots of nudity and even more profanity.

I remember the backstory way more than the actual movie. Let's see....the great Paul Newman stars as the half-checked out coach of the Charleston Chiefs. They suck and are going to fold or leave town or something after the season. Newman's like "fuck it" and just starts playing these 3 bespectacled goons- the Hanson Brothers. Their incredibly violent ways prove to be a draw. The team adopts their thuggish behavior and miraculously starts winning.

So, sort of like Major League, but hockey.

Anyway, the Hanson Brothers were the most memorable non-Mr. John part of that movie.

Mr. John called me up out of the blue one other time to watch his "other favorite movie" with him. That movie was Roadhouse. Mr. John was a good dude. Loved that guy.

RT is right. Raven came up with the Dudley gimmick while watching Slap Shot at Dean Malenko's house in Florida but it didn't really go beyond the Hanson Brothers style glasses. 

*Just realized I forgot Al f'n Bundy. Shame on me. He should have been somewhere between #3-#6 on my list. Meaning my list is terrible and invalid. I don't think there's a single person on my list who scored 4 touchdowns in a single high school football game. Nor do I have a single person who lead the New Market Mallers to the softball championship while giving an all timer of a speech in which he crowned himself M-V-P. Yeah, my list sucks.

TIL Michael Ontkean, who played Sheriff Harry Truman in Twin Peaks, was also in Slap Shot as what appears to be their "Adam Banks" character. The more you know...

“RT is right.” - Baker

Putting that in my sig.

9. Dottie Hinson 

Movie

A League of Their Own 

Portrayed By 

Geena Davis 

Team 

Rockford Peaches 

Position

Catcher 

Y'all are sleeping on Dottie. Far and away the best player in the Women's league in a A League of Their Own and hands down the most popular in the league as well. You can tell she was head and shoulders above the rest of the girls and actually studied the game of baseball after stepping in for the drunk Duggan.

Fierce , knowledgable , leader - Dottie is one of the best and most well rounded movie athletes ever. I love her. Her sister is a sniveling brat.

And yes I know she ultimately dropped the ball at the end , but I'm willing to forgive that. It was probably even on purpose.

Dottie showed up on a lot of online lists, including once beating my #1 in a head to head contest! Unfortunately, I only saw A League of Their Own once a long, long time ago and remember nothing about it other than the famous "there's no crying in baseball" line. So I could not put her on my list.

I had Dottie Hinson at #9. She could do it all and probably could've played anywhere in the field, including pitcher. She's a born leader, demands respect and has command over the entire team without being a bully or overbearing. You couldn't ask for a better captain and/or player-manager. Heads and tails above most of the league as far as skill and ability.

Dottie just missed but would have been in a dog fight with Jimmy Duggan as my favorite character from the movie. Baseball is actually pretty deep for fictional athletes, I went with a little more comedic leanings for baseball players.

It seems were are rating them on how skilled they were portrayed in the movies, I just went with entertainment value.

May 4, 2020 18:27:56 GMT Shootist said:

Dottie just missed but would have been in a dog fight with Jimmy Duggan as my favorite character from the movie. Baseball is actually pretty deep for fictional athletes, I went with a little more comedic leanings for baseball players.

It seems were are rating them on how skilled they were portrayed in the movies, I just went with entertainment value.

I rated my picks on favorite characters.  The Hansons, other than fighting, have no real skills at all.

I rated on a little bit of everything , thankfully Dottie was the total package as far as skill and character goes. She’s the perfect counterpart to Hanks Dugan. On top of being the most one of the more dominant athletes in film.

I do have deep regrets about not including Dottie. As much as I love Dugan, I felt like we had to see the fictional athlete actually play. Hence his exclusion. Glad Dottie made the overall list without my points. That's kinda what I was hoping would happen.

May 4, 2020 13:34:15 GMT UT said:

Y'all are sleeping on Dottie. Far and away the best player in the Women's league in a A League of Their Own and hands down the most popular in the league as well. You can tell she was head and shoulders above the rest of the girls and actually studied the game of baseball after stepping in for the drunk Duggan.

Fierce , knowledgable , leader - Dottie is one of the best and most well rounded movie athletes ever. I love her. Her sister is a sniveling brat.

And yes I know she ultimately dropped the ball at the end , but I'm willing to forgive that. It was probably even on purpose.

Dottie had no real love for the game though.   It was one of the things that drove her sister nuts.   She had ALL of the talent and yet the game was little more than a hobby for her, while Kit the chance to play ball professionally was everything.

May 4, 2020 21:09:34 GMT thereallt said:

May 4, 2020 13:34:15 GMT UT said:

Y'all are sleeping on Dottie. Far and away the best player in the Women's league in a A League of Their Own and hands down the most popular in the league as well. You can tell she was head and shoulders above the rest of the girls and actually studied the game of baseball after stepping in for the drunk Duggan.

Fierce , knowledgable , leader - Dottie is one of the best and most well rounded movie athletes ever. I love her. Her sister is a sniveling brat.

And yes I know she ultimately dropped the ball at the end , but I'm willing to forgive that. It was probably even on purpose.

Dottie had no real love for the game though.   It was one of the things that drove her sister nuts.   She had ALL of the talent and yet the game was little more than a hobby for her, while Kit the chance to play ball professionally was everything.

And even without the same dedication she was still infinitely better than most girls in the league. Shows her natural talent. Her sister fucking sucked.

May 4, 2020 21:58:13 GMT UT said:

May 4, 2020 21:09:34 GMT thereallt said:

Dottie had no real love for the game though.   It was one of the things that drove her sister nuts.   She had ALL of the talent and yet the game was little more than a hobby for her, while Kit the chance to play ball professionally was everything.

And even without the same dedication she was still infinitely better than most girls in the league. Shows her natural talent. Her sister fucking sucked.

I wouldn't say Kit sucked.  She was probably the best pitcher in the league.  She just wasn't Dottie.   But who in the league really was?

May 4, 2020 22:24:50 GMT thereallt said:

May 4, 2020 21:58:13 GMT UT said:

And even without the same dedication she was still infinitely better than most girls in the league. Shows her natural talent. Her sister fucking sucked.

I wouldn't say Kit sucked.  She was probably the best pitcher in the league.  She just wasn't Dottie.   But who in the league really was?

She might have been and her new team was good , but the Peaches didn’t lose much without her.

There's no need to shit on Kit just to polish Dottie's star.