Sometimes you just outgrow one another or one grows and the other doesn't. Often life changes that 'special feeling'. Add the stresses of living together, bills, kids and it's work. Often times one person wants to make it work and the other doesn't. It's no wonder so many don't make it or stay together until the kids are grown and then get divorced.

I'm sorry, I know it's an absolute shit sandwich to be dealt. I do hope in time you and she will be able to co-parent and co-exist. I know you love your kids so I'm sure it will happen when things aren't so fresh and raw.

I'm incredibly disappointed and angry tonight. Hopefully this post won't be very long but here goes. I need somewhere to vent and I can't do it anywhere but here so you're stuck with me.

Quick backstory/info you need to know:
-We currently rent because we had to move a long distance on short notice and couldn't sell our house.
-We did sell our house eventually but we didn't make very much money off the sale and we like where we live, so we kept renting.
-We live in a semi-gated townhouse neighbourhood that is run by a council. Here it's called a strata group, I don't know what it's called elsewhere.
-The "strata" collects monthly fees and in return takes care of all the upkeep around the neighbourhood, but also has the power to pass bylaws/rules/etc.
-Stratas control most rental properties in British Columbia and its an ongoing issue.

...

On Tuesday my wife got a phone call from our landlord. He owns two houses in our complex, one he lives in with his wife and two kids and the other he rents to us. He's a great guy, best landlord we've ever had, and we have no problem with him whatsoever.

He had just come from a monthly strata meeting where it was decided that the owners/strata members were going to vote at the next meeting on whether or not to limit the number of rental units in the complex. There are 40 townhouse units in this complex and currently 15 of them are being rented out. They want to limit the number of rentals to 5.

This means that the next 10 leases to be up will see the tenants evicted and the owners will be forced to either occupy the unit or sell it.

It's likely that the owners who rent will vote against the new bylaw, but as I stated, the number of owners who live in their homes greatly outnumbers the owners who rent. I've talked to a few owners who plan to vote against it, but the general consensus is that the rest are going to vote in favour and this is going to pass.

This vote is also a precursor to more votes to come. If this passes, what's to stop them from making it zero rentals? What's to stop them from forcing more bylaws on rentals? You get the idea.

Now, I have to say that we are fortunate in this situation. We just signed a new 2 year lease last month, so chances are we won't be affected. We will probably be one of the last leases to end, and likely we will be one of the five that get to stay put. Our landlord said the same when we talked on Tuesday. I don't really have reason to worry, other than what I said above about future votes that could affect us, if they happen.

However, my son's best friend is part of a family that rents and their lease is up in six months. My daughter's best friend is a family that rents and their lease is up in less than a year.

My kids have been through a lot over the past few years, mainly due to me losing my job, hopping around trying to find a new one, forcing them to move (which greatly affected my daughter as she was in first grade), etc etc. If we have to leave this neighbourhood sooner than we would like, that means changing schools again. That means trying to make new friends again. That means probably paying more in rent since where we currently live was a lucky deal we somehow fell into.

So there are a lot of reasons that I don't want this to pass despite the fact that there's a pretty good chance it won't affect us any time soon, if at all. So since Tuesday we have been reaching out to our friends in the neighbourhood, most of which own their homes and get a vote in the upcoming meeting, asking them to please consider our side of things and vote against the new bylaw.

Well guess what.

....

Some of you know me personally, but most of you don't. I don't know what your impression of me is, but I'm generally a pretty jaded person. I can be very negative, I can be very pessimistic, and while I try to not be those things, life keeps giving me reasons to stay that way.

In the two years we've lived in this neighbourhood, I've tried very hard to make friends. It isn't something I'm good at, but I did it for two reasons: A) my kids have friends here and B) my wife wants a social life and I'm not about to stand in her way. So I did what I could. I tried very hard. I made a couple friends pretty easily, but others took work. A couple guys in particular are pretty much garbage people. They make racist jokes. They only want to talk about politics and how bad our government is. They listen to terrible music. But, their wives are cool and my wife likes their wives and they have kids that play with my kids, so I tried. They drink beer so I found common ground on that and made due.

Now I feel like a complete fool. I swallowed my pride and look where it got me. I knew these people were dickheads and didn't care about me or my family, and instead of sticking to my morals I've sold out and now they're essentially voting in favour of possibly making me homeless in two years. Or at the very least, evicting people I actually like and who my kids love and play with every day.

There is a facebook group dedicated to the complex and most of the discussion about this is owners saying they're going to vote in favour. I flat out asked two of my friends how they plan on voting and they ignored my messages, but are liking posts in the group about how this will be a good thing for the community. So I know their answer.

I'm taking this very personally and I'm just so fed up and angry. My life has been one step forward, two steps back going on 5 or 6 years now and I'm so sick of it. Every time I start to get ahead, something kicks me in the nuts. And the worst part is that it affects my family, who I'm supposed to provide for and protect. I'm a grown-ass man. I can take this shit. I don't care what happens to me, but when I see them hurt or negatively affected and I know I can't do anything about it, it just breaks me.

Sept 4, 2020 5:01:04 GMT RT said:

I'm incredibly disappointed and angry tonight. Hopefully this post won't be very long but here goes. I need somewhere to vent and I can't do it anywhere but here so you're stuck with me.

Quick backstory/info you need to know:
-We currently rent because we had to move a long distance on short notice and couldn't sell our house.
-We did sell our house eventually but we didn't make very much money off the sale and we like where we live, so we kept renting.
-We live in a semi-gated townhouse neighbourhood that is run by a council. Here it's called a strata group, I don't know what it's called elsewhere.
-The "strata" collects monthly fees and in return takes care of all the upkeep around the neighbourhood, but also has the power to pass bylaws/rules/etc.
-Stratas control most rental properties in British Columbia and its an ongoing issue.

...

On Tuesday my wife got a phone call from our landlord. He owns two houses in our complex, one he lives in with his wife and two kids and the other he rents to us. He's a great guy, best landlord we've ever had, and we have no problem with him whatsoever.

He had just come from a monthly strata meeting where it was decided that the owners/strata members were going to vote at the next meeting on whether or not to limit the number of rental units in the complex. There are 40 townhouse units in this complex and currently 15 of them are being rented out. They want to limit the number of rentals to 5.

This means that the next 10 leases to be up will see the tenants evicted and the owners will be forced to either occupy the unit or sell it.

It's likely that the owners who rent will vote against the new bylaw, but as I stated, the number of owners who live in their homes greatly outnumbers the owners who rent. I've talked to a few owners who plan to vote against it, but the general consensus is that the rest are going to vote in favour and this is going to pass.

This vote is also a precursor to more votes to come. If this passes, what's to stop them from making it zero rentals? What's to stop them from forcing more bylaws on rentals? You get the idea.

Now, I have to say that we are fortunate in this situation. We just signed a new 2 year lease last month, so chances are we won't be affected. We will probably be one of the last leases to end, and likely we will be one of the five that get to stay put. Our landlord said the same when we talked on Tuesday. I don't really have reason to worry, other than what I said above about future votes that could affect us, if they happen.

However, my son's best friend is part of a family that rents and their lease is up in six months. My daughter's best friend is a family that rents and their lease is up in less than a year.

My kids have been through a lot over the past few years, mainly due to me losing my job, hopping around trying to find a new one, forcing them to move (which greatly affected my daughter as she was in first grade), etc etc. If we have to leave this neighbourhood sooner than we would like, that means changing schools again. That means trying to make new friends again. That means probably paying more in rent since where we currently live was a lucky deal we somehow fell into.

So there are a lot of reasons that I don't want this to pass despite the fact that there's a pretty good chance it won't affect us any time soon, if at all. So since Tuesday we have been reaching out to our friends in the neighbourhood, most of which own their homes and get a vote in the upcoming meeting, asking them to please consider our side of things and vote against the new bylaw.

Well guess what.

....

Some of you know me personally, but most of you don't. I don't know what your impression of me is, but I'm generally a pretty jaded person. I can be very negative, I can be very pessimistic, and while I try to not be those things, life keeps giving me reasons to stay that way.

In the two years we've lived in this neighbourhood, I've tried very hard to make friends. It isn't something I'm good at, but I did it for two reasons: A) my kids have friends here and B) my wife wants a social life and I'm not about to stand in her way. So I did what I could. I tried very hard. I made a couple friends pretty easily, but others took work. A couple guys in particular are pretty much garbage people. They make racist jokes. They only want to talk about politics and how bad our government is. They listen to terrible music. But, their wives are cool and my wife likes their wives and they have kids that play with my kids, so I tried. They drink beer so I found common ground on that and made due.

Now I feel like a complete fool. I swallowed my pride and look where it got me. I knew these people were dickheads and didn't care about me or my family, and instead of sticking to my morals I've sold out and now they're essentially voting in favour of possibly making me homeless in two years. Or at the very least, evicting people I actually like and who my kids love and play with every day.

There is a facebook group dedicated to the complex and most of the discussion about this is owners saying they're going to vote in favour. I flat out asked two of my friends how they plan on voting and they ignored my messages, but are liking posts in the group about how this will be a good thing for the community. So I know their answer.

I'm taking this very personally and I'm just so fed up and angry. My life has been one step forward, two steps back going on 5 or 6 years now and I'm so sick of it. Every time I start to get ahead, something kicks me in the nuts. And the worst part is that it affects my family, who I'm supposed to provide for and protect. I'm a grown-ass man. I can take this shit. I don't care what happens to me, but when I see them hurt or negatively affected and I know I can't do anything about it, it just breaks me.

As a non-home owner and a fatherless man, I can't speak much from my own experience but reading stuff like this stresses the living bejeezus out of me when I think about renting a property. It just makes me want to stay stuck in this meth-head infested apartment complex (perspective? you could be dealing with that right now). I have a lady who mean mugs me and everyone else in the complex just for breathing at times it seems. I can hardly ever take the trash out because every week there's a new couch in the dumpster. Seriously, I'm not even joking.. where the fuck do all these couches come from!?!? On second thought, I really don't want to know.

Don't beat yourself up too bad, this is a little out of your control (at least for the time being) it seems and I'm not sure your nor your wife could have had the foresight to see something like that coming. We too have a pretty awesome landlord and she's the only reason we're still here. She's literally not even charging us rent at the moment while we look for new jobs, just our electric bill. It makes me want to slap the mean right off of my aforementioned neighbor's mug because she nearly almost drove her to quit altogether because she won't mind her own damn business and wants to complain about anything and everything under the sun. Good landlords are way too hard to find these days but I think establishing a rapport and just being honest does wonders sometimes.

I can also relate with the racism. I live in rural Ohio (Northern Kentucky, basically) so it's all around me, even in my own family and especially in my girlfriend's family. Her aunt in particular has been unapologetic in saying that any black man who dies at the hands of a cop probably deserves it, then proceeded to double down when her mixed niece called her out on it. I've been avoiding her family gatherings ever since because I don't like to associate myself with people like that either, but realize I'm going to have to just bite the bullet eventually and bite my tongue even harder when politics inevitably do come up in the conversation. *sighs*

I wish everyone was just a centrist and we were all indifferently pissed off about all this lack of indifference, dammit. Best wishes RT, I hope you guys can get things worked out and find some peace of mind, I remember how excited you were to move out there a few years ago.

Reason #576 why HOAs suck. What's the reasoning behind no rentals? No riffraff and "undesirables"?

Sept 4, 2020 12:30:11 GMT @ness said:

Reason #576 why HOAs suck. What's the reasoning behind no rentals? No riffraff and "undesirables"?

i.e., no coloreds

rad I totally hear you man. We've lived in plenty of dives over the years. When we finally bought a house it was such a relief, then going back to renting was so scary, especially because where I live has a very low vacancy rate and it's slim pickings.

It's part of the reason I'm so upset. We got very lucky to live where we live, and we treat it as such. We know what the alternatives are and do everything we can to take care of the house and be involved with the community. Apparently that means fuck all.

@ness I don't get it either. With rental vacancies so low in this city, this will actually drive the property value down, or at least stagnate it. When you limit who can buy your home your sale value doesn't increase. And the strata/HOA are in charge of rules qnd upkeep, so if it was a property value problem (it isn't...everyone is very respectful), then it's on them for not enforcing it.

I've messaged a couple people who posted support in the facebook group asking what their reason for voting in favour is and they don't have an answer. Actually one told me just to come to the meeting and "keep an open mind," and when I told her only owners can attend the meeting and I was a tenant she ignored me.

🤯 it's funny you mention that. A family just moved in last month and guess what? They're Latino. And the family before that? Middle Eastern.

If this goes through I'm going to the media and saying the strata is racially profiling tenants and forcing them to defend themselves to the local paper.

RT this sucks. Knowing where you live, I'm not surprised. I'm saddened, but not surprised.  At the end of the day people are only out for themselves and they use it to support their shitty personalities and horrible thoughts.    

Part of the reason mom and I bought a house was because the condo board in the townhouses we lived in were starting to come down on renters. Same thing. People we thought were friends voted on the owners side and when mom and I said 'well we rent' they would say 'oh but you guys are different'. We are still renters and it affects us. I see the owners point of view, but I don't necessarily agree with it because there are good people like mom and I and some of our other neighbors who are good tenants. 11 years we rented and took care of it like it was our own. Unfortunately, we were one of few. There were some great people who left due to shitty landlords and some who were just terrible renters so it's a two way street.

Not everyone is going to be able to own and when you lump them all in one low income area you create ghettos/projects. It's no coincidence that immigrants and low income people are in affordable housing areas, but you can't paint everyone with the same brush which is what voting for something like this does. Habitat for Humanity builds duplexes in established/well maintained communities to try to prevent that, but just recently they tried to build one in a more well to do neighborhood and the residents reigned down fire and brimstone on them and the city. Habitat is pretty strict about who they build homes for and you have to put in some of the sweat equity which makes sense because if it's yours and you helped build it, you will more than likely want to keep it nice which is part of the owners' concern, however I can see how it can get tangled up with racism pretty quickly. Slippery slope.

EDIT:

Also, I don't think of you as a negative person at all. You are one of the most loyal, fun loving, genuine people I have ever had the pleasure to meet and call friend. You just don't like or tolerate shitty people and I dig that about you buddy!!! Plus you have a great wife and kids who I also love.

Tomorrow will be 98 F and on Tuesday it’s going to snow.

Sept 5, 2020 19:00:23 GMT Gyro LC said:

Tomorrow will be 98 F and on Tuesday it’s going to snow.

Where the fuck do you live... Mars?!

Sept 5, 2020 19:33:37 GMT 🤯 said:

Sept 5, 2020 19:00:23 GMT Gyro LC said:

Tomorrow will be 98 F and on Tuesday it’s going to snow.

Where the fuck do you live... Mars?!

Denver

I'll take snow for legal weed any day.

Snowed in Jasper/Banff last week and due for more in the next week.

Sept 6, 2020 2:22:05 GMT iron maiden said:

Snowed in Jasper/Banff last week and due for more in the next week.

You live in Banff!?!?

Sept 6, 2020 2:27:58 GMT 🤯 said:

Sept 6, 2020 2:22:05 GMT iron maiden said:

Snowed in Jasper/Banff last week and due for more in the next week.

You live in Banff!?!?

About 4 hours away from either one.

Sept 5, 2020 20:12:00 GMT Gyro LC said:

Sept 5, 2020 19:33:37 GMT 🤯 said:

Where the fuck do you live... Mars?!

Denver

One of my new bro’s lives in Colorado too. High on Monday of 93 and Low of 33. Crazy.

Why don't chain steakhouses have steak sauce at the table? Are people stealing it so they have to bring in a dipping cup?

Sept 6, 2020 14:41:23 GMT All34LOL said:

Sept 5, 2020 20:12:00 GMT Gyro LC said:

Denver

One of my new bro’s lives in Colorado too. High on Monday of 93 and Low of 33. Crazy.

If we lived in Colorado, it'd be:
High on Monday,
Tuesday,
Wednesday,
Thursday,
Friday,
Saturday,
Then low on Sunday as we rest on the lord's day.

Sept 6, 2020 23:53:51 GMT 🤯 said:

Sept 6, 2020 14:41:23 GMT All34LOL said:

One of my new bro’s lives in Colorado too. High on Monday of 93 and Low of 33. Crazy.

If we lived in Colorado, it'd be:
High on Monday,
Tuesday,
Wednesday,
Thursday,
Friday,
Saturday,
Then low on Sunday as we rest on the lord's day.

Get drunk on wine like a good catholic.

Sept 7, 2020 0:06:50 GMT @ness said:

Sept 6, 2020 23:53:51 GMT 🤯 said:

If we lived in Colorado, it'd be:
High on Monday,
Tuesday,
Wednesday,
Thursday,
Friday,
Saturday,
Then low on Sunday as we rest on the lord's day.

Get drunk on wine like a good catholic.

I do have an underage boy now, so maybe I could get a little catholic with it...

-_-

Sept 5, 2020 20:12:00 GMT Gyro LC said:

Sept 5, 2020 19:33:37 GMT 🤯 said:

Where the fuck do you live... Mars?!

Denver

Also KJ sorry to hear about the divorce; I don't know enough about the situation to say anything but my inbox is always here if you need to vent

Sept 8, 2020 1:44:47 GMT Michinokudriver said:

Sept 5, 2020 20:12:00 GMT Gyro LC said:

Denver

Yeah it’s wild. There was ash on my car from the forest fires.

Get out your PW BINGO cards!!!

I went to toss my trash out in the back alley behind my garage and noticed someone had 'tagged' the back of my garage. It looks like it says KRAFT (whatever that means). Pretty sure it was kids, but who knows. I reported it to the Police as they ask you to do and then get told I have to have it cleaned up by end of the month or I'll get fined.

Like WHAT IN THE BLUE FUCK!!! My property gets vandalized and I have to clean it up or me/my mom (the victims) get fined? How does that make sense? I've never heard of something so ass backwards in my life!!! This is why punks do this shit because we don't hold them accountable. Okay we didn't catch this one but get me 2 or 3 of the ones you have caught and I'll give them toothbrushes while I hold my buddy's pitbull as they clean it. Maybe if we *gasp* actually hold the perpetrators accountable including young offenders, they will think twice about doing it again! Gracie Lou Freebush was right!!!

EDIT:  Also if they are going to 'tag' can they make it nice or mean something. 

They want Kraft Dinner!

Sept 8, 2020 22:52:45 GMT @ness said:

They want Kraft Dinner!

That's what I said when I saw it.

'KRAFT?! What the hell is that? You want Kraft Dinner?' :ugh:

Every time iron maiden gets home from work.

Unexpected trip to ER for son. Needs surgery. Got here just about 24 hours ago. Surgeon is saying surgery might even push out to tomorrow now based on their schedules... Dafuq? son hasn't eaten in over 24 hours now. And Wife and I thought we were sleep deprived before...

I'll post again on the other side of surgery in the Positivity Thread assuming everything goes well. Since we had no clue we were gonna be immediately shunted from the ultrasound appointment to the ER, we were woefully unprepared. And since corona, can't leave and come back or have visitors swing by. And, of course, entire nursing staff has iPhones. No Samsung chargers. So phone will be dead to boot shortly.

WOOOOO!

@ness, stick to worrying just about yourself and Silicone Sally. This parenting shit is stressful and scary.

That's awful news mate, hopefully it's just a minor setback and son can get back to studying Brock Lesnar tapes (and the odd Goldberg tape) when he's back to 100%.

Hopefully you and Wife can catch up on some zzz's as you wait.

Sept 11, 2020 18:03:38 GMT 🤯 said:

Unexpected trip to ER for son . Needs surgery. Got here just about 24 hours ago. Surgeon is saying surgery might even push out to tomorrow now based on their schedules... Dafuq? son hasn't eaten in over 24 hours now. And Wife and I thought we were sleep deprived before...

I'll post again on the other side of surgery in the Positivity Thread assuming everything goes well. Since we had no clue we were gonna be immediately shunted from the ultrasound appointment to the ER, we were woefully unprepared. And since corona, can't leave and come back or have visitors swing by. And, of course, entire nursing staff has iPhones. No Samsung chargers. So phone will be dead to boot shortly.

WOOOOO!

@ness , stick to worrying just about yourself and Silicone Sally. This parenting shit is stressful and scary.

That's awful. I hope everything works out.

Sept 11, 2020 18:03:38 GMT 🤯 said:

Unexpected trip to ER for son . Needs surgery. Got here just about 24 hours ago. Surgeon is saying surgery might even push out to tomorrow now based on their schedules... Dafuq? son hasn't eaten in over 24 hours now. And Wife and I thought we were sleep deprived before...

I'll post again on the other side of surgery in the Positivity Thread assuming everything goes well. Since we had no clue we were gonna be immediately shunted from the ultrasound appointment to the ER, we were woefully unprepared. And since corona, can't leave and come back or have visitors swing by. And, of course, entire nursing staff has iPhones. No Samsung chargers. So phone will be dead to boot shortly.

WOOOOO!

@ness , stick to worrying just about yourself and Silicone Sally. This parenting shit is stressful and scary.

Oh NO!!! What are they saying the issue is that requires surgery?

I will be thinking of your family and sending lots of positive vibes and healing thoughts.  I'm sure you have all of PW behind you and son's recovery.  I wish there was more I could do.   

Biggest news is 🤯 is android.

son after surgery: